Corrupt-A-Wish

[Fighter]

Granted. You get a magic paintbrush that makes you the best artist in the world, but when you sleep your art comes to life and goes on murderous rampages. But at least you get paid! Well, until your art kills the people that pay you.

I wish I could lose weight faster!

[Jasper]

Granted. You now lose weight with every move you make. But it will never stop (until you wither away to nothing!)

I wish I could sleep all through the night.

[~RoadToTrista~]

Granted, Godzilla bites your head off too, so you're also dead.

I wish my guitar tuned itself.

[Fighter]

Your guitar gains the power to tune itself, as well as everything else. It tunes itself, it tunes a piano, it even tunes a fish (buh dum, SHING!), but when you play a note wrong one day, it's magic tuning power tries to tune you! In the process your vocal chords are mangled and ripped apart so that you can only make guitar sounds with your mouth for the rest of your life. On the bright side, you could make a lot of money because of this! Well, you could if the government ever lets you leave their testing area after thinking you were some type of advanced life form with an advanced language.

I wish work wasn't so boring!

[Dante]

Granted, you are given the most interesting job in the world! But then the person you inadvertently stole the job from comes and tries to kill you.

I wish that I will be able to go to college where I want.

[Sage]

Granted, but then you lose all memory of where you used to live and are now lost. 

I wish my house plants could talk to me.  I always wonder what they're thinking, if they can think.   

[Dante]

Granted, your plants now talk to you. But now they have minds of their own and proceed to take over your house with vines. Your house ends up looking like something out of Jumanji.

I wish I could break the 4th wall whenever I felt like it. 

[Felix]

I wish I could break the 4th wall whenever I felt like it. 

Wait, are you an actor? Well okay, but since that's messing with reality, reality melts, and you never find out if it's just you or if the whole world is broken.

I wish I had my own bedroom.

[Fighter]

Granted, but due to a mix of ghosts and it being locked from the outside, you can never leave it.

I wish...I wish...I was a fish!

[Lily]

You are now a fugu. You are caught and eaten by a group of wealthy Japanese businessmen. Your death makes the news after 3 of them are hospitalized due to poisoning. They successfully sue the restaurant and spend their earnings on another fugu party. Some people never learn.

I wish I had a new mouse!

[valkyrie256]

Granted. Your new pet mouse has rabies.


I wish for world peace.

[Dante]

Wait, are you an actor?

Nope.  I just wish I could randomly break the 4th wall, because that's gotta be my favorite style of joke. And, as an added bonus, being able to break the 4th wall in real life would entail me knowing what exists outside of this. 

I wish for world peace.

Aww, I have to corrupt this?
Granted, we finally achieve world peace. And then the world explodes.

I wish I had my own private library.

[valkyrie256]

Granted. Books are now illegal.


I wish that I was the smartest person in the world.

[~RoadToTrista~]

Granted. Books are now illegal.

There's a book about books being illegal, Fahrenheit 451. Idk it was kinda dumb, in the middle of it some old lady gets caught with a bunch of books and then burns herself alive.

[Fighter]

Nope.  I just wish I could randomly break the 4th wall, because that's gotta be my favorite style of joke. And, as an added bonus, being able to break the 4th wall in real life would entail me knowing what exists outside of this. 

This reminds me of Deadpool. He's the one superhero that breaks the fourth wall all the time.

Anyway, back on topic.

Granted. Books are now illegal.


I wish that I was the smartest person in the world.

Congratulations, you are the smartest person in the world! However, due to your intelligence, you are constantly hounded by agencies, both governmental and illegal, wanting you on their side. Heck, even entire countries try to get you on their side, and they don't care what means they use to obtain that. You eventually have to live constantly on the lamb because everyone wants to use your brain power for their own self benefit. You are never able to find a peaceful moment to yourself because of it.

I wish I was as tough as I acted.

[Dante]

This reminds me of Deadpool. He's the one superhero that breaks the fourth wall all the time.

Haha, I interrupted the thread. Whoops.  You know, I seem to remember in some other story there was a character whose actual superpower was to be able to break the fourth wall whenever he wanted to (which is where I got the idea from), but I can't remember for the life of me who it was. 

I wish I was as tough as I acted.

Granted, you are as tough as you act, but you have a tendency to always act like a cute bunny.

I wish I had enough money to buy a new binder. 

[Lily]

Granted! You are now the proud owner of:



I wish I had some nice fresh salmon to eat right now!

[Felix]

Granted, but your tasty salmon turns out to have been unsustainably farmed, and the pollution and devastation that led to your thirty minute meal will haunt many future generations.

I wish I could play an instrument.

[Dante]

Granted, you play the banjo.

I wish I wasn't ashamed of my past.

[Felix]

Granted, you play the banjo.

Omfg I almost spit-taked on that.