Corrupt-A-Wish

[suzifrommd]

I wish I had wings.

Ok. Here's your order. Unfortunately, the hot sauce is extra, and without it, your order of wings is tasteless.


I wish the summer were three months longer.

[King Malachite]

Where's your wish?

[Your Humble Savant]

Granted, your summer is three months longer.
You get a sunburn for every extra day 

I wish it were easier to write good music.

[Dante]

Granted, it's easier for everyone besides you.

I wish I could win a writing contest.

[justmeinoz]

Granted. You win the National "Essay with the least connection to English Grammar"  Contest.

I wish I had another Blue Cheese.

[Your Humble Savant]

Granted. A family of weasels resides within.

I wish I had more tolerance for spicy foods.

[suzifrommd]

I wish I had more tolerance for spicy foods.

Enjoy your five-alarm chili without a tongue.

I wish I could read people's minds.

[Dante]

Granted. Everyone suddenly has vivid daydreams about having sex with you and you can't block them out.

I wish my school could actually give me the classes I wanted. 

[suzifrommd]

Granted. Everyone suddenly has vivid daydreams about having sex with you and you can't block them out.

Actually that sounds like fun. I could cancel my subscriptions to all those porn sites. 

I wish my school could actually give me the classes I wanted. 

Granted. Check out the course catalog for Fall 2018. They're all there.

I wish I could make the clothes I want instantly materialize in the right size, rather than having to go out shopping for them.

[King Malachite]

Actually that sounds like fun. I could cancel my subscriptions to all those porn sites. 
 
Granted. Check out the course catalog for Fall 2018. They're all there.

I wish I could make the clothes I want instantly materialize in the right size, rather than having to go out shopping for them.

Granted but now clothes are illegal to wear.

I wish I had some white chocolate cheesecake.

[Your Humble Savant]

Granted. It's got a bleu cheese & ant filling.

I wish for wishes that cannot be corrupted 

[suzifrommd]

I wish for wishes that cannot be corrupted 

Granted. Your 11,238th and 11,239th wishes will not be corrupted.

I wish there was less violence in movies and on TV.

[King Malachite]

Granted but there is also a lot more sex in them now.

I wish I had a unicorn.

[Elsa]

granted. except now you no longer have place for anything else.

I wish I had a smaller waist and less love for beer and rum.

[suzifrommd]

I wish I had a smaller waist and less love for beer and rum.

Granted. You're now five inches tall, and will only drink champagne whose bottles cost more than a car.

I wish I stopped losing things.

[Sara Thomas]

Granted - Everything that you have ever lost is being mailed back to you... C.O.D.

I wish it weren't so dang hot and dry here.

[Elsa]

Granted - but now it either rains or snows all the time and is very cold.

I wish I had more time to sleep.

[suzifrommd]

I wish I had more time to sleep.

Granted. You are now ineducable and unemployable.

I want a body that stays thin and toned no matter how much I eat or how little exercise I do.

[Your Humble Savant]

Granted. Your 11,238th and 11,239th wishes will not be corrupted.

Curses! Well played, afgrommd, well played.

I want a body that stays thin and toned no matter how much I eat or how little exercise I do.

Granted. The thinness is so severe you blow over in a stiff wind, and the tone is that of angry hornets.

I wish my knees worked better.

[Sara Thomas]

I wish my knees worked better.

Granted - Now they are demanding a raise, and your elbows are complaining of inequality.

I wish the cat would leave me alone when I'm internetting.