Could you fall for someone's soul alone?

[Nero]

Could you fall for someone's soul (or personality, heart, etc, etc)? Or do you need that initial physical attraction?

Going by my own experiences, I'd say I probably can't. I've only fallen for a handful of people and there was only one where it wasn't lust at first sight. But it still happened shortly after meeting them and they were still my physical type.
But the romantic in me would really like to believe this type of thing is possible.
So could you fall for someone based on soul alone? Or do you need that physical attraction first?
Are men and women both capable of this?

[JessicaH]

This is SO strange that you posted this. I have been having this discussion with another member here and we are at a loss to explain our feelings for each other except for falling in love with each others soul. Neither of us has ever felt like this toward someone physically male and it kinda freaks us both out a bit but it is a wonderful feeling.
The first time we talked on the phone,  we talked for 3 hours straight them probably 10-11 hours over the next two days...

It may seems strange but not as strange as the many obscure similarites and interests that we share. We are even in the same obscure business and I deffinatel have a new supplier and business confidant.

I know you may be curious as to who it is, but I will leave it up to her if she wants to reveal herself! It has been a crazy 2 weeks!

[Rosa]

Usually I am first attracted by some physical characteristic, but there have been several times where I have grown attracted to someone whom I would not normally have turned my head for due to their personality or actions. 

[kyril]

I have, in the past, discovered an attraction to friends to whom I wasn't initially physically attracted, based (I assume) mostly on their personalities. A number of my relationships have developed after years of platonic friendship, with friends I'd never have even thought of dating at first. All of my more serious relationships except one have been this way.

But personality alone? No, I don't think so. It's more like "personality plus a set of minimum physical qualifications." The guys to whom I've become attracted over time may not all have been "my type" (certainly not the Adonis-types that have me salivating at first glance), but they've also not possessed any physical characteristics that are in my "instant turn-off" category either.

[Shang]

I do like physical attraction, but it doesn't have to be the first thing I see.  I'm capable of falling for someone who I haven't seen or who I don't see as physically attractive at first based off of their "personalities" I suppose.  I grow more fond of how a person looks the more I fall for them, though.

[Miniar]

For my sake... yes..
I'm such a sapiosexual...

[lisagurl]

Love does not have to include sex. Many have sex without love. You figure it out.

[xAndrewx]

I have, in the past, discovered an attraction to friends to whom I wasn't initially physically attracted, based (I assume) mostly on their personalities. A number of my relationships have developed after years of platonic friendship, with friends I'd never have even thought of dating at first. All of my more serious relationships except one have been this way.

Same here. All of my relationships except one or two have been this way so yes I think it's very possible but I do think there has to be some level of attraction for the relationship to last.

[ToriJo]

Everyone's different.  And I'm not going to say my way is right for anyone else.

That said, even beautiful women age, perhaps become disabled or disfigured, etc.  I can't imagine loving my wife less because her appearance changed.  I wouldn't have married her if I wasn't able to love her no matter how she looked.  After all, I can't think of anyone at, say, age 80, being "beautiful" to me in my standards (and I don't think that being 80 myself will make an 80 year old suddenly more physically attractive to me than, say, a 20 year old).  That said, I'm glad I like how she looks!

[Nilisa]

I'll admit I'm, slightly inappropriately considering my current position, a little vain and shallow - I think we all are to some degree, even those who can see through the external.

I don't think I could fall simply for someone's 'soul' or personality, because I've got... Standards, I suppose. If they have greasy hair, incredibly foul breath, no sense of personal hygiene etc., then there's absolutely no way I could be with them; Whether I thought they were amazing or not. Someone's physical appearance says a lot about their personality; So someone overweight may have health issues (Physical or mental) or just not care about themselves, and that's not something you want in a partner. Someone who's well groomed, presentable, in-shape and so forth would, to me, suggest they're in control of themselves and more 'desirable' for it.

Seeing past the external and seeing what's inside would be an amazing gift, but I think that relationships have to be built on some degree of compromise. Someone who presents as an unhygienic mess might not be willing to compromise in that regard, so why would you want to be with them? If they're not going to make such a simple effort to be presentable, then what else would they be unwilling to compromise on or discuss?

Personally, I believe you have to look at both sides of the coin to gauge a person.

[tekla]

No

[Amazon D]

before i transitioned i wasn't very attractive  but women knew i had a big thang and they used me for that and then i transitioned i had too many wanting me for my looks only. Thankfully i had a true desire for love so i never did get sexual with anyone and now i have gone back to being homely and well when i was pretty i did find a woman with ms in a wheelchair and i fell for her but her friends kept her away from me because i was trans. Today i have just about given up on love because it seems so many people want sex first or want attraction and well i am not interested in cis men and cis women are not interested in me and trans people seem put off now by my switching styles that i will wait till the next world i am sure there will be forever love for me there.

so yea i seek the soul not the attractiveness but i am repulsed by over sexed people or people who do it without love but i can like all people for people i just wouldn't date them

[sonopoly]

I don't think so.  I mean, you say, soul ALONE.  I think that in a romantic relationship, you need to have some sort of attraction, chemistry, whatever, otherwise, it's just friendship.  That's the unique quality about romantic relationships -- is having this electric sexual attraction -- that's what makes it so wonderful and special.  I think a lot of people can settle for companionship, which is great, but I think if you are young, you should go for the whole electric thing.  It is so wonderful and not to be missed, even if it doesn't work out.  You should at least experience it once in your life.

I am older and am in a wonderful relationship, but if I weren't I would maybe settle for a good companionship relationship, without the spark.  BUT, if you are younger, I would say, DON'T SETTLE, look for that true love, exciting, soul mate relationship.

I guess what I'm saying is that , I'd rather have a wonderful companionship than being alone, but I'd rather be in love, than having a stable companionship, more than a lot of things.

[V M]

In younger days attraction was base to a large degree on superficial aesthetics... But now I am less interested in sex and/or physical attributes and more interested in the companionship of a good friend who I can share love and trust with

That being said, I am not totally ruling sex and/or physical attraction out, but those things have been put on the back burners of cooking up my recipe for a relationship for the time being

I am most interested in the person within... To know them, feel them, sense them whither near or far

[melissa42013]

This is SO strange that you posted this. I have been having this discussion with another member here and we are at a loss to explain our feelings for each other except for falling in love with each others soul. Neither of us has ever felt like this toward someone physically male and it kinda freaks us both out a bit but it is a wonderful feeling.

Yes – The Answer Is Yes

If you would have asked me a couple of months ago I would have said no. Love is a combination of physical and chemical interactions....... That was the "scientist guy" inside me.

But it happened to me recently and left me shaking to the core. You see the "other member" Stacy mentioned above is me... and it has been one hell of a ride.

I wont go into details here, I really can't put it to words. But yes you can fall in love with someone's soul. Even a guy halfway across the country who is starting transition. (we both like girls btw.)

So the skeptic would say that maybe it's the HRT, the need for appreciation, to be loved, accepted, to be wanted, to need security or affirmation and a whole host of other things. I already have those things.....

But it is not..... We love each other's souls and it is the darndest and most wondrous feeling in the world.

The back story on how we met is mind blowing, the similarities impossible, the odds.... They don't exist.... But that is another story.

So yes you can love someone's soul without judgment, attraction, wants or needs. We can "feel" each other in a way that can not be explained. We can both be in business meeting and at the same time (within seconds) send each other a text message that says basically the same thing.

It has been so hard to believe. So hard to let my male ego accept this. But it's really pretty cool, and I think we can all have that connection.

Both of us really like the movie "Fight Club" we joke that like the main character that one day we will find out that one of us in real and the other imaginary.... Lol

If that's true I hope I'm the imaginary one, because I can't imagine loosing this kind of connection with another human soul.

-M

[JessicaH]

I can't really add anything to that! 

[melissa42013]

I know gf, I read your mind..... lol

[JessicaH]

You ARE bad about that!  lol

[tekla]

Get a room you two.

[JessicaH]

New orleans, march 18th... French Quarter...  lol