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Bad Jokes

Started by Cindy, March 13, 2011, 03:29:37 AM

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Constance

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey?

All proper tea is theft.

dalebert


Danielle Emmalee

Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
  •  

dalebert


dalebert


dalebert


dalebert

Got beaten up by a woman today.

I was in the elevator when a busty lady got in.

I was staring at her boobs, when she said, would you please press 1?

So I did.

I don't remember much afterwards....

big kim

There's a film about Eddie Stobart out,I don't know what it's like I've only seen the trailer
  •  

Danielle Emmalee

Quote from: big kim on October 14, 2013, 11:00:12 AM
There's a film about Eddie Stobart out,I don't know what it's like I've only seen the trailer

I'm sure this is funny but I don't get it.
Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
  •  

Danielle Emmalee

Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
  •  

RoteRosen

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

Wololololololol :3
A redneck is more scared of you than you is of it
  •  

Padma

Quote from: big kim on October 14, 2013, 11:00:12 AM
There's a film about Eddie Stobart out,I don't know what it's like I've only seen the trailer
I'm inarticulate with amusement :).
Womandrogyneâ„¢
  •  

Beth Andrea

Quote from: Padma on October 15, 2013, 06:41:42 AM
I'm inarticulate with amusement :).

Hmm...my guess is that Eddie Stobart is/was a well-known hauling company in England (thank you, Wikipedia)...hence the reference to "trailer" (think semi-truck "trailer") and the further reference to "inarticulate" (iirc, "articulated" is Aussie-speak for combination vehicles, i.e., a semi with 2-5 trailers)

Am I close?
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
  •  

Padma

Articulated lorry is what they at least used to be called here in the UK too, where Eddie Stobart plied his trade.
Womandrogyneâ„¢
  •  

Beth Andrea

Quote from: Padma on October 15, 2013, 09:52:00 AM
Articulated lorry is what they at least used to be called here in the UK too, where Eddie Stobart plied his trade.

Oh I'm sorry, I always thought you were one of the Australians. Must've been the accent LOL! (Please don't kill me, I know how sensitive ya'all are to such misunderstandings)
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
  •  

Gina Taylor

A man walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke
The bar tender cuts an apple and hands it to him
The man looks confussed and says that he wanted a rum and coke not an apple
The bartender convinces him to try it, so he does and to his surprise it tastes just like a rum and coke.

The bartender slices another apple and gives it to the man and he takes a bite and finds that it tastes just like a pinacolada.
The man says to the bartender, if you could get an apple to taste just like a pussy, then you'd really have something.
The bartender brings up another apple and slices it and hands it to the man and says try this.
So the man takes a bit and says "Blah." That tastes just like an ass!"
"Oh sorry, wrong side. Turn it over," the bartender says.
Gina Marie Taylor  8)
  •  

dalebert

Oh, I thought he was going to say something like "And that's why you should always wipe from front to back and not the other way."

Also, I think your joke is about to get moderated for profanity. :)

dalebert


dalebert


dalebert