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Bad Jokes

Started by Cindy, March 13, 2011, 03:29:37 AM

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dalebert


Beth Andrea

...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Danielle Emmalee

For the grammar nazis:

1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.

3. A question mark walks into a bar?

4. Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.

5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.

6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.

7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
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big kim

2 tigers walking down Blackpool promenade and one says to the other "not many people about today"
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Danielle Emmalee

Quote from: big kim on September 03, 2013, 01:25:13 AM
2 tigers walking down Blackpool promenade and one says to the other "not many people about today"

Is that some kind of regional joke?  I don't get it.
Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
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Mariax

Quote from: Alice Danielle on September 03, 2013, 01:49:38 AM
Is that some kind of regional joke?  I don't get it.
I might have it wrong, but I doubt too many people would be walking around if there were tigers about ;)
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Jenny07

How many PhD's does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they would rather sit in the dark than do manual labour.

This is too true, my sister and her husband both have PhD's and can't do even the most basic household things. Scary.
Mind the size of a planet... Oh never mind.
So long and thanks for all the fish
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Amelia Pond

Bad joke of my own design:

I like to tell people that I'm a Lieutenant in the LGBT army. ;)

Amy
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Beth Andrea

Quote from: Amelia Pond on September 03, 2013, 11:14:51 AM
Bad joke of my own design:

I like to tell people that I'm a Lieutenant in the LGBT army. ;)

Amy

Clever!
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Danielle Emmalee

Quote from: Amelia Pond on September 03, 2013, 11:14:51 AM
Bad joke of my own design:

I like to tell people that I'm a Lieutenant in the LGBT army. ;)

Amy

Does that mean you take orders from the Generals?
Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
  •  

Amelia Pond

Quote from: Beth Andrea on September 03, 2013, 11:21:32 AM
Clever!
Thanks! :)

Quote from: Alice Danielle on September 03, 2013, 11:25:06 AM
Does that mean you take orders from the Generals?
No but don't tell them that or I might get court martialed. :P

What would that entail? Detransition?  :icon_yikes: *runs away*

Amy
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dalebert


dalebert


Beth Andrea

Quote from: Amelia Pond on September 03, 2013, 11:29:14 AM
Thanks! :)
No but don't tell them that or I might get court martialed. :P

What would that entail? Detransition?  :icon_yikes: *runs away*

Amy

Hmmm...."entails"....--> "entrails"....--> "giblets"...--> GBLTs...

Discipline shall focus on the GBLTs....*groans*

:P
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
  •  

Amelia Pond

Quote from: Beth Andrea on September 03, 2013, 03:04:42 PM
Hmmm...."entails"....--> "entrails"....--> "giblets"...--> GBLTs...

Discipline shall focus on the GBLTs....*groans*

:P
:laugh: You're way over thinking this. :P

Amy
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Danielle Emmalee

"I have a dreamcatcher" -- MLK after his vacation in New Mexico
Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
  •  

Beth Andrea

Quote from: Amelia Pond on September 03, 2013, 03:36:28 PM
:laugh: You're way over thinking this. :P

Amy

Overthinking is my specialty...it's whut I do, it's hoo I are...

:P ;) :P ;)
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
  •  

Amelia Pond

Quote from: Beth Andrea on September 03, 2013, 04:35:24 PM
Overthinking is my specialty...it's whut I do, it's hoo I are...

:P ;) :P ;)
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break your brain. ;) :P

Amy
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Mariax

Daleburt, as far as yo mama jokes go, that ... is brilliant.
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dalebert

Quote from: Mariax on September 03, 2013, 10:59:10 PM
Daleburt, as far as yo mama jokes go, that ... is brilliant.

I wish I could take credit for it. Hey, on a totally irrelevant side-note, I did make this cool GIF all by myself!