Susan's Place Logo

News:

Since its founding in 1995 Susan's Place forums have blossomed into a truly global lifeline. To date we've delivered roughly 1.4 billion page views to hundreds of millions of unique visitors, guided more than 41,000 registered members through 1,985,081 posts and 188,474 topics across 193 boards, and—most importantly—helped save tens of thousands of lives by connecting people to vital information and support at their most vulnerable moments.

Main Menu

Bad Jokes

Started by Cindy, March 13, 2011, 03:29:37 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

dalebert

Quote from: Jill F on January 24, 2014, 09:30:56 PM
If I only go down on girls, does that make me a strict vagitarian?

Ah, and if a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

MadeleineG

Quote from: dalebert on January 24, 2014, 09:36:00 PM
Ah, and if a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Contractarianism

  •  

dalebert



JRD

Quote from: Gwynne on January 24, 2014, 10:49:01 PM
I don't get it.  :-\
The kid has a mullet. You know, business in the front, party in the back. Or in this case, translated to kid terms.
  •  

dalebert


MadeleineG

Quote from: big head horsey-face on January 24, 2014, 11:04:29 PM
The kid has a mullet. You know, business in the front, party in the back. Or in this case, translated to kid terms.

Not familiar with the reference. Thanks tho. :-\
  •  

Constance

Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough.

Jill F

Quote from: Gwynne on January 24, 2014, 11:33:58 PM
Not familiar with the reference. Thanks tho. :-\

That's right, in Canada it's called "Hockey hair."
  •  

Jamie D

During her physical examination, a doctor asked a middle-aged woman about her physical activity level.

The woman said she spent 3 days a week, every week in the outdoors.
"Well, yesterday afternoon was typical;
I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain.
I waded along the edge of a lake.
I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles.
I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake.
I climbed several rocky hills.
I went to the bathroom behind some big trees.
I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull elk.
The mental stress of it all left me shattered.
At the end of it all I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine."

Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoor woman!"

"No," the woman replied, "I'm just a really ->-bleeped-<-ty golfer".
  •  

dalebert


dalebert


dalebert


dalebert


Calder Smith

Manchester United diehard fan.
  •  

dalebert


Jenna Stannis

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
  •  

dalebert

Quote from: JS on January 28, 2014, 07:47:35 PM
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang the picture up?

dalebert

Quote from: dalebert on January 28, 2014, 08:40:02 PM
It only takes one nail to hang the picture up?

Too soon?

Jenna Stannis

Quote from: dalebert on January 28, 2014, 08:40:02 PM
It only takes one nail to hang the picture up?

You nailed it.
  •