Susan's Place Transgender Resources

As you can tell by the title, this is a rant so if you'd rather not hear me complain then feel free to move along through the forums. Alright well, I know I'm about to sound self isolating, but right now I feel more alone than I gave in my entire life. Through my journey to find myself I've lost friends and myself in a way. I lost the person who I thought would be here through everything, but she wasn't. I lost myself, I lost the girl I thought I was supposed to be, the mask that I could use to hide the real me underneath. I lost the expectations of having a husband and kids and having to be a feminine woman. I feel free from it but at the same time it feels like it's been stripped away from me. I both love and fear this feeling and I don't know if it would be easier to embrace or hide it anymore.

Yes, men are more alone than women.
Men rarely have friends they can confide with--I've been that friend several times!

The initial trials of change to who you are certainly can be lonely. What, and who, you knew and relied on over your previous life years is no longer there. It takes time to rebuild a circle of people, same as it took time to build the first circle. I agree and disagree that men are more lonely. More of a self-imposed loneliness. To appear tough and 'manly' they avoid the benefit of having someone there to share fears.

My early and mid 'man' years were not lonely due to cause, more due to self-inflicted. I had family and friends. I had people to confide in .. most disappeared with transition. I was a lucky one in that my immediate family support me. My siblings? Not so much. Many of my circle of friends? only a couple stuck by me.

Surviving the lull between is the real struggle.

I have a new circle now and I can be unwavering in stating that it was worth it.

Hopefully it'll happen like that

I know the feeling well, Adrian.

Family and friends faded away. Some were angry. Some just found reasons to no longer stay in touch. Little by little, I made new friends who accept me as I am. Some were people I interacted with, like at the dentist's office, the property manager and maintenance man at my apartment complex, then neighbors who have gotten to know me. Through it all, only one person has stuck with me the entire time and she is my best friend.

From just getting to know you here, I think you are the kind of person I could be friends with. That makes me think that there are others out there who would very much enjoy your company. It takes time for people to understand what you are going through because it is not something they experience. Some have no interest in trying to understand for their own reasons. But the ones that accept you for who you are, are the precious ones.

Don't be too hard on yourself. It will happen. It just takes a little time.

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 07, 2025, 09:45:08 AMI know the feeling well, Adrian.

Family and friends faded away. Some were angry. Some just found reasons to no longer stay in touch. Little by little, I made new friends who accept me as I am. Some were people I interacted with, like at the dentist's office, the property manager and maintenance man at my apartment complex, then neighbors who have gotten to know me. Through it all, only one person has stuck with me the entire time and she is my best friend.

From just getting to know you here, I think you are the kind of person I could be friends with. That makes me think that there are others out there who would very much enjoy your company. It takes time for people to understand what you are going through because it is not something they experience. Some have no interest in trying to understand for their own reasons. But the ones that accept you for who you are, are the precious ones.

Don't be too hard on yourself. It will happen. It just takes a little time.

I feel like living in an old fashioned area in Texas of all places makes it hard for me to present as myself because everyone knows me as Ally, not Adrian. They already have an idea of me and how I'm supposed to act and look and sound even. They have their predetermined notions of me that I feel the need to fill. Maybe it's because being born female I've had to meet people's expectations or maybe because of how I was raised or maybe something I can't comprehend right now but it's taking its toll on me.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 07, 2025, 10:05:10 AMbut it's taking its toll on me.

I think almost everyone inside Susan's Place has said the same thing and felt the same way. Many of us, including me, still feel that way. Adrian, I can't assure you that in the end, everything will be okay or even tell you the journey is worth the pain because I don't know if it will be. I think it will be because I love the moments of exhilaration and sublime peace I've found since beginning my own journey. For me, they've been worth the pain and loneliness. And, for me, finding Susan's Place was a lifesaver.

Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on April 07, 2025, 10:28:30 AMcan't assure you that in the end, everything will be okay or even tell you the journey is worth the pain because I don't know if it will be.

That's what worries me. What if all of this is for nothing? What if I figured all of this out about myself and lost all those people and it wasn't worth it? What if I lost my shot at a fulfilling life for some ideal life that I have in my mind that won't go even remotely how I wish it will? What if in the end I become more insignificant than I was before? And I know that sounds selfish in a way, but I'm tired of trying to accommodate everyone else and losing myself in the process.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 07, 2025, 10:35:13 AMWhat if all of this is for nothing?

I live in rural Montana (which pretty much describes all of Montana) and relate to the unique pressures of life in a small town. I have the advantage of being old. Very old. And did not begin to transition until I was in my mid-sixties (by 'begin' I merely mean realizing I was different and I was desperate to become myself before I died). Perhaps, a similar approach would work best for you. But, Adrian, you have no idea how much I wish I had moved to Portland or San Francisco and allowed myself to be myself when I was young. I missed such a big part of my own life. But, because I live in Montana, I understand the risks of being different are not merely social or emotional. Physical dangers cannot be ignored. Therapy. Then more therapy. That's what got me this far.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 07, 2025, 10:35:13 AMAnd I know that sounds selfish in a way, but I'm tired of trying to accommodate everyone else and losing myself in the process.

I think you hit the nail on the head, you just need to see it a little differently. If you are living as your true self, not living up to others' expectations, you will be happier no matter where life takes you. Been there. Done that.

On the other hand, living a life according to what everyone else expects of you is surely not the road to happiness. Deep down, you will know it is a lie and you can't be happy living with that frustration. If you have read my story, you know that I did that for decades. I lost everything anyway but I didn't know why.

When I realized that I had been playing a role and not living my life as ME, that was my turning point. I decided to cast off everyone else's expectations except my own. Why? Because it is MY life and no one can live it for me. I choose who and what I will be no matter the outcome.

I realize that not everyone has the means to just pack up and move out of state where no one knows you. But it is possible to shift their perceptions of you until you can. People react to sudden changes. But subtle changes go unnoticed. Perhaps, you could slowly become the "tomboy". This not only helps you learn and adapt to a more masculine form but it also is subtle enough that, if noticed at all, would be nothing shocking. Lots of women are tomboys or work at "masculine jobs", or dress more androgynous.

Don't give up hope. Transitioning is a long process. You will have doubts along the way. You will question and rethink your decisions many times. When I do this, I remind myself of what I am trying to accomplish, and why I made the decision in the first place. My psychologist was very helpful in that area as he reminded of previous conversations we had had on the same subject.

Hang in there. You got this.

Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on April 07, 2025, 11:02:07 AMBut, because I live in Montana, I understand the risks of being different are not merely social or emotional. Physical dangers cannot be ignored. Therapy. Then more therapy. That's what got me this far.

I'm worried about the hate of different people that's basically ingrained in people. Plus I neither have the money nor the resources to see a therapist.

@Lori Dee I understand that I should live as myself, but in this area I feel like living as who they expect me to be is safer and sadly not everyone has pure intentions towards everyone, especially those who belong to the LGBT community. I understand that I shouldn't let that inhibit me but it is.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 07, 2025, 11:58:20 AMI neither have the money nor the resources to see a therapist.

That is understandable. And you are right to consider your personal safety first.

Are you able to talk privately on the phone? In our Support Groups Forum, I posted an article that lists numerous available resources. You will need to click the link at the top to see the full article, then the links to the various resources can be clicked for more details.

Many of these resources are set up for people in crisis, as in they need to talk to someone now before they do something dangerous. But it is more than just a suicide prevention hotline. They will have people there who can refer you to someone who can help, whether is an online therapist or a phone counselor. They might even know of a local group that you can contact that can help you with whatever you need. It only takes a phone call or a click on a web link.

Check it out. We care about you.

https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,249512.msg2286371.html#msg2286371

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 07, 2025, 12:22:58 PMThat is understandable. And you are right to consider your personal safety first.

Are you able to talk privately on the phone? In our Support Groups Forum, I posted an article that lists numerous available resources. You will need to click the link at the top to see the full article, then the links to the various resources can be clicked for more details.

Many of these resources are set up for people in crisis, as in they need to talk to someone now before they do something dangerous. But it is more than just a suicide prevention hotline. They will have people there who can refer you to someone who can help, whether is an online therapist or a phone counselor. They might even know of a local group that you can contact that can help you with whatever you need. It only takes a phone call or a click on a web link.

Check it out. We care about you.

https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,249512.msg2286371.html#msg2286371

I'll check it out, maybe. Honestly I'll probably end up getting in my own head and gaslight myself into thinking that I don't need help from a therapist and that all of this is just stupid and that I'm supposed to be a woman because that's what's expected of me. I know it's a terrible mindset but it's one that's been instilled in me since childhood and I don't know how to break the cycle.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 07, 2025, 12:27:03 PMI know it's a terrible mindset but it's one that's been instilled in me since childhood and I don't know how to break the cycle.

That is precisely the reason to talk to a therapist. In your own mindset, you see things only from your own point of view. A therapist can give you other options, and other ways of looking at your situation.

Please give it a try.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 07, 2025, 01:10:01 PMThat is precisely the reason to talk to a therapist. In your own mindset, you see things only from your own point of view. A therapist can give you other options, and other ways of looking at your situation.

Please give it a try.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Ok I will.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 07, 2025, 07:36:35 AMAs you can tell by the title, this is a rant so if you'd rather not hear me complain then feel free to move along through the forums. Alright well, I know I'm about to sound self isolating, but right now I feel more alone than I gave in my entire life. Through my journey to find myself I've lost friends and myself in a way. I lost the person who I thought would be here through everything, but she wasn't. I lost myself, I lost the girl I thought I was supposed to be, the mask that I could use to hide the real me underneath. I lost the expectations of having a husband and kids and having to be a feminine woman. I feel free from it but at the same time it feels like it's been stripped away from me. I both love and fear this feeling and I don't know if it would be easier to embrace or hide it anymore.

Firstly, Adrian rant away. That's what we're here for. And most, if not all of us can relate to what you're saying.

Secondly, as scant comfort as this is, you are not alone honey. You're in a place where probably more people than ever understand what you're going through. It is not the same as people where you are, I know.

Thirdly... and I think most importantly, I think I understand what you are saying about losing yourself. And it's something that doesn't really get spoken about. There's often the sense that being trans is about finding yourself. About being true to yourself. And... yeah that's true in a lot of ways. But we aren't the totality of self-awareness. In finding yourself you can also lose yourself because a lot of how we are is mirrored in how the world around us sees us. We grow up having an image, a set of standards, a whole persona thrust on us. And all we have, really, to go on when being ourselves is this little voice inside fighting against the hurricane outside of the whole world telling us how to be, how to act, what to want, or need.

If I can suggest to you, Adrian, you fear it because it's the path of least resistance. It's something you could do easily and everyone would be okay. Everyone except you. You feel like you're standing on the edge of a cliff and have to make a leap of faith because you feel it would be better. But the leap scares you to death. Going through life listening to ourselves rather than the rest of the world is damn scary. Because it's one voice against a thousand. You have literally the weight of the world on your shoulders.

I can't tell you what to do, Adrian, or how to feel. All I can say to you is... from my interactions with you through your posts here, you've come across to me as someone very genuine. Someone who... doesn't do the whole feminine girl thing and seems happier not doing it. And... I think what you stand to gain by being you is someone happier than the person you think you've lost. Just because you don't wake up hating yourself.

I have always subscribed to the idea that you can't be true to other people unless you can be true to yourself. You haven't lost the idea of having a husband or kids, if that's what you want. There are ways. And being gay is no crime. Being a wife, sure... but could you see yourself being a wife? How about being a husband instead? *hugs*

You're not alone, Adrian, and it's okay to feel this way. Honestly. Just know that you're not alone.

Quote from: Sephirah on April 10, 2025, 03:33:12 PMFirstly, Adrian rant away. That's what we're here for. And most, if not all of us can relate to what you're saying.

Secondly, as scant comfort as this is, you are not alone honey. You're in a place where probably more people than ever understand what you're going through. It is not the same as people where you are, I know.

Thirdly... and I think most importantly, I think I understand what you are saying about losing yourself. And it's something that doesn't really get spoken about. There's often the sense that being trans is about finding yourself. About being true to yourself. And... yeah that's true in a lot of ways. But we aren't the totality of self-awareness. In finding yourself you can also lose yourself because a lot of how we are is mirrored in how the world around us sees us. We grow up having an image, a set of standards, a whole persona thrust on us. And all we have, really, to go on when being ourselves is this little voice inside fighting against the hurricane outside of the whole world telling us how to be, how to act, what to want, or need.

If I can suggest to you, Adrian, you fear it because it's the path of least resistance. It's something you could do easily and everyone would be okay. Everyone except you. You feel like you're standing on the edge of a cliff and have to make a leap of faith because you feel it would be better. But the leap scares you to death. Going through life listening to ourselves rather than the rest of the world is damn scary. Because it's one voice against a thousand. You have literally the weight of the world on your shoulders.

I can't tell you what to do, Adrian, or how to feel. All I can say to you is... from my interactions with you through your posts here, you've come across to me as someone very genuine. Someone who... doesn't do the whole feminine girl thing and seems happier not doing it. And... I think what you stand to gain by being you is someone happier than the person you think you've lost. Just because you don't wake up hating yourself.

I have always subscribed to the idea that you can't be true to other people unless you can be true to yourself. You haven't lost the idea of having a husband or kids, if that's what you want. There are ways. And being gay is no crime. Being a wife, sure... but could you see yourself being a wife? How about being a husband instead? *hugs*

You're not alone, Adrian, and it's okay to feel this way. Honestly. Just know that you're not alone.

Thank you. Your words mean more than you know. Thank you so much. I needed that.

Any time, Adrian. I know we're coming at this from opposite sides, but if you ever feel like you need to vent or just want someone who has your back, shoot me a PM. I don't necessarily have all the answers, but I know what it is to feel alone. We both have the same end goal.

All I ask is one of your steaks. :P <3

Quote from: Sephirah on April 10, 2025, 04:40:44 PMAny time, Adrian. I know we're coming at this from opposite sides, but if you ever feel like you need to vent or just want someone who has your back, shoot me a PM. I don't necessarily have all the answers, but I know what it is to feel alone. We both have the same end goal.

All I ask is one of your steaks. :P <3

Girl I will gladly cook you a good ol' Texas steak and baked potato for some advice any day.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 11, 2025, 08:05:29 AMGirl I will gladly cook you a good ol' Texas steak and baked potato for some advice any day.

I was half kidding but the thought of having a genuine Texas guy do what he does best is kind of too good to pass up. In the UK, you cannot get a good steak unless you cook it yourself. And even then... we don't have the cuts you folks do.

Adrian, anything you want advice on, if I can give it I will. I wish more guys reached out instead of thinking they can do everything alone. That doesn't make you a dude. It makes you dumb. Take it from someone who spent a lot of time being forced to attend dude school. The teachers are crap. :P

Quote from: Sephirah on April 11, 2025, 08:55:15 AMI was half kidding but the thought of having a genuine Texas guy do what he does best is kind of too good to pass up. In the UK, you cannot get a good steak unless you cook it yourself. And even then... we don't have the cuts you folks do.

Adrian, anything you want advice on, if I can give it I will. I wish more guys reached out instead of thinking they can do everything alone. That doesn't make you a dude. It makes you dumb. Take it from someone who spent a lot of time being forced to attend dude school. The teachers are crap. :P

Haha yeah. All guys school seem boring, then again all my friends are dudes except for my younger cousin. Any I'm 100% serious abt the steak. I love cooking for people so it's a win win

In that case, sign me up. Yum!

I have this image of you as the Grillmaster. Glaring at people who get within 10 feet of your barbeque. ;D

I'm kinda like that sometimes, but if someone wants to learn then I'll gladly teach the trade. It's the BEST perk about Texas, my dad taught me to grill and now it's what's making me feel like a dude during the beginning of transition!
Still have my exes wrapped around my fingers tho lol

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 11, 2025, 09:27:54 AMI'm kinda like that sometimes, but if someone wants to learn then I'll gladly teach the trade. It's the BEST perk about Texas, my dad taught me to grill and now it's what's making me feel like a dude during the beginning of transition!
Still have my exes wrapped around my fingers tho lol

What else makes you feel that way, Adrian? Other than obviously being a steak samurai. ;D

Quote from: Sephirah on April 11, 2025, 09:34:44 AMWhat else makes you feel that way, Adrian? Other than obviously being a steak samurai. ;D

Thanks for the compliment! But I'm not sure...maybeee rodeos and going out to the shooting range, both very Texan

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 11, 2025, 09:37:55 AMThanks for the compliment! But I'm not sure...maybeee rodeos and going out to the shooting range, both very Texan

Uh huh. Extremely Texan. I meant more what makes you feel like you? Like... when you can just forget about everything else... what makes Adrian tick? What do you like that makes you feel like you? What puts a giant grin on your face?

Quote from: Sephirah on April 11, 2025, 09:40:40 AMUh huh. Extremely Texan. I meant more what makes you feel like you? Like... when you can just forget about everything else... what makes Adrian tick? What do you like that makes you feel like you? What puts a giant grin on your face?

I honestly don't know. I've never really done something just for myself. I've always made my decisions based on my family. Even my college plans are based on what my family wants for me. I'm going to UT for psychology because my parents wanted me to take care of them when they get older and it makes good money.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 11, 2025, 09:45:48 AMI honestly don't know. I've never really done something just for myself. I've always made my decisions based on my family. Even my college plans are based on what my family wants for me. I'm going to UT for psychology because my parents wanted me to take care of them when they get older and it makes good money.

Is that what you want to do? Like... if your family wasn't a factor, what makes Adrian... Adrian? What makes him happy? I am not saying you have to change anything, hon. I'm just... lol I'm your typical girl trying to get into your head. What makes my guy tick? What would you want to do if you could do anything?

Honestly I'd probably just travel. See everything, do anything, just live like I'm dying (iykyk) and probably just enjoy other places. Other than that I don't really know bc I haven't really done anything so idk what I enjoy

I think a lot of folks around you have put their expectations on you, Adrian. And you feel compelled to fulfil them. To be the dutiful son. You've never really had a chance to find yourself. And... hon, that makes me sad. Part of me thinks you should just be like "Screw everything" And do what you want to do. I don't know how realistic that is for you but I feel like you're bearing a burden you should not have to bear. You are living your life without being given a choice in how to live your life, because you feel like you have to keep those around you happy.

They are not you, Adrian. They are not the kind, funny, smart, switched on guy I've come to know. And I don't think it's fair that you should dedicate your life for people who don't even really know you.

Because you don't really know you. I think you need to find out who you are, Adrian. Before you can do anything else.

*hugs*

I guess you're right. I'm the oldest of my siblings so I feel like I have to be the example, the one they're supposed to look up to. It's become who I am as a person. I've always known I have to meet the expectations of those around me and I can do that well. But finally finding myself a bit has made everything feel off I guess you could say. Like everything everyone expected of me was thrown out the window and it's just me. But I've never gotten a chance to know the real me so I don't know who I am and what I enjoy. I guess this'll be an interesting experience in learning about myself 18 years into everything

I am also the oldest in my family, Adrian. I had two younger brothers. One now, and he hates me more than probably anyone else alive. I know how it feels to be seen to be the one who has to guide others. But you can't do that when you don't even know who you are and what you want. I ran away to sea when I was a little younger than you, just to get away from everything. I was told, in no uncertain terms, to not come back, lol. By my mom.

It will be okay. You're at the point where you get to decide who you want to be. You don't have to be a cut out of who the world wants you to be, okay? I mean the fact that you're here is kind of proof that you're not. You're Adrian. Wry, smart, erudite, determined, open, gentle, and cooks a mean steak. ;) Hold on to that. Find things you want to do and do them, hon. Find what you like, and live like there's no tomorrow.

I am proud of you and I believe in you. Go out there and find who you are and what you want, okay? Don't let anyone guilt you into living their life for them.

Adrian,  I can understand how it feels.  When I gave my self permission to be who I truly am, I had no expectations of my family or friends accepting my decision. I have told noone and my intention at this current moment is not to. Maybe in the future, who knows. But I am no longer living my life for others. I did this for 66 years. I can no longer deny who I am. I tried and I lived up to the expectations of other for many years. I have a transgender daughter and cis daughter. I have not heard from either of these in so many years. I have only a couple siblings that I am in contact with. They live in England.  I feel when I tell them, they will be hurt as I am close with them. But I can't let this stop me anymore.  It's  time for you to live YOUR life. If this is who you are. I wish I had listened to myself over 20 years ago. 😪. But it's  to late to look back. If when I make the decision to let my family know, they either accept me for who I am or they go on with out me, as that is what I will continue  to do. But when it all boils down to it.  It is your life to live.  🤗 You have tremendous support here. I hope you make your way through this tough time with ease and comfort.

Yeah, but I don't even know where to start in terms of finding myself and telling my family
Honestly I probably won't, at least not until I'm out of the house

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 07, 2025, 11:58:20 AMI'm worried about the hate of different people that's basically ingrained in people.

Sometimes we have to step outside our comfort zone, there has been some excellent books written such as "feel the fear and do it anyway". Try to live your life for you, we only get one chance so step out and say I deserve better. Do you have any hobbies? a few friends I have made have been via walking groups, then when my partner passed away I joined a widows group, my father once said the world will not come to you, you have to go to it. No decision is the wrong decision, it is the right one at that moment in time.

@kat2 You're right. I'll make sure that I live life for me and not my surroundings. Y'all are the best! Who knew I'd find the people who understood me in some maternal figures across the world

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 11, 2025, 11:26:02 AMYeah, but I don't even know where to start in terms of finding myself and telling my family
Honestly I probably won't, at least not until I'm out of the house

Adrian, many of us have these thoughts as well. You are not alone. Yes some of us have the advantage of being older and not under our parents guidance, but coming out to family is a decision that can be very tough. As stated by many here, but at the same time only you can decide when you are ready. And when you do decide to tell them, it is their choice to accept you. If they can't accept your choices, then it's time to just move forward.  You are responsible for your life and happiness. You need to know you are supported by many here.  🤗

Thanks! I guess we'll see how it goes when I do tell them

Hi Adrian!

I use the phrase "All Shall Be Well" around here a good bit because it is true.. We all carry the perspectives our lives have brought us to from our lives thus far... my perspective as someone who has circled the sun more than a few times is this...🌻

When I was your age I worried a lot about all manner of things... it is the very nature of things as you move from childhood into more adult ways of looking at the world... taking the steering wheel of your life away from your parents and placing it in your own hands where it was always destined to be... So many unknowns in the road ahead but don't let them worry you... you will find your way to the life you need and you will grow stronger, and better, and wiser with every challenge you face and navigate... learn to love the gifts of these challenges...🌻

@Lori and I both love to quote Richard Bach from his book Illusions...

"Every Problem in your life carries a gift inside it" 🌻

You aren't supposed to have life figured out yet... perhaps we are never supposed to and that is okay...

You will tell them when you are ready... their reaction to the truth of things that you reveal is up to them... often, it takes awhile for others to remake long held images of who we are but, with time, they can come around... The truth is that more of their child's true essence will be theirs to love and enjoy whether they see that immediately ... in a month or years down the line... Be gentle with them and be gentle with yourself...🌻

All Shall Be Well...

Onward We Go!

Ashley 💕

Thanks Ashley! You're right, there ain't no way to know what is gonna happen with my life right now and I probably won't ever fully know what's gonna happen, but as long as I live a fulfilling life it was worth it.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 12, 2025, 10:48:17 AMThanks Ashley! You're right, there ain't no way to know what is gonna happen with my life right now and I probably won't ever fully know what's gonna happen, but as long as I live a fulfilling life it was worth it.

See! ...You already know the secret of life!... Go have the best one ever! 💕🤗💕

Hugs from your big sister!

A 💕

Quote from: tgirlamg on April 12, 2025, 12:07:29 PMSee! ...You already know the secret of life!... Go have the best one ever! 💕🤗💕

Hugs from your big sister!

A 💕

Thanks sis! You're the best!!

Yeah you're gonna get a lot of the maternal vibe here, hon. Maybe making up for some stuff, maybe just a part of life. If you're okay with having a bunch of overly protective moms, we've got you covered. ;D <3

The only thing I want to emphasise, Adrian, is... live for you. Not other people. Don't do anything because it makes other people happy. Find your niche and go for it. Full throttle.

Quote from: Sephirah on April 12, 2025, 05:46:22 PMYeah you're gonna get a lot of the maternal vibe here, hon. Maybe making up for some stuff, maybe just a part of life. If you're okay with having a bunch of overly protective moms, we've got you covered. ;D <3

The only thing I want to emphasise, Adrian, is... live for you. Not other people. Don't do anything because it makes other people happy. Find your niche and go for it. Full throttle.

Definitely alright with overprotective moms! And I'm figuring out what makes me, well me.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 11, 2025, 08:05:29 AMGirl I will gladly cook you a good ol' Texas steak and baked potato for some advice any day.

Count me in for that!  ;D

Our journeys are often difficult and filled with pain, but so to are they paths to discover joy and peace. We are here for you. You are loved. We lift each other as we lift ourselves.

Medium rare, please!

@April Marie One medium rare steak coming up!

Well, I figured out what I want to do with my life: veterinarian! And I'm just doing some random crafts and seeing what I enjoy. I'm becoming an old man crocheting 😭 Butttt it does make me feel content so yeah, that's my life right now

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 19, 2025, 01:30:22 PMWell, I figured out what I want to do with my life: veterinarian! And I'm just doing some random crafts and seeing what I enjoy. I'm becoming an old man crocheting 😭 Butttt it does make me feel content so yeah, that's my life right now

Massive respect. Anyone who wants to care for animals is a bit of a hero in my book. I've had several dogs in my life, and had to have a couple put to sleep. The vets I spoke to were so kind and so professional, and even took a paw print of the last pupper I had, and sent it to me. I had it framed. That is something to be very proud of, Adrian. Defend the defenceless.

Also... any form of expression is awesome! Don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't do something okay? One of the most stand up guys here, Nero, he was big into fashion. But it always worried him because he thought he would be seen as less than for being into it. Which is utter rubbish. Do what makes you happy! <3

Thanks @Sephirah it means a lot. I've always loved animals and I decided why not. I wanted to go into the medical field, so it works!
And at the moment I'm making a blanket for my girlfriend's daughter. She's an amazing kid and she's obsessed with pink, so hopefully she'll like it. I'll try to show a picture of it when I finish!

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 19, 2025, 02:27:32 PMThanks @Sephirah it means a lot. I've always loved animals and I decided why not. I wanted to go into the medical field, so it works!
And at the moment I'm making a blanket for my girlfriend's daughter. She's an amazing kid and she's obsessed with pink, so hopefully she'll like it. I'll try to show a picture of it when I finish!

Massive Kudos. I am a big animal person. Go for it with all your heart, Adrian. We need more people like you.

Please do post a pic if you can. Doing things for other people just to see them smile is a big win. And shows the kind of guy you are.

Quote from: Sephirah on April 19, 2025, 02:33:41 PMMassive Kudos. I am a big animal person. Go for it with all your heart, Adrian. We need more people like you.

Please do post a pic if you can. Doing things for other people just to see them smile is a big win. And shows the kind of guy you are.

Thanks! And seeing that little girl smile is worth every minute of making it!!

Never let it be said that nice guys finish last. Whoever came up with that is a total liar. Girls don't want a bad boy. They want someone they can trust and who won't hurt them. You strike me as that kind of guy, Adrian. Your GF is extremely lucky. My own dad was a bit of a b*****d. I suspect you would do much better as a dad because you care. Which is amazing to me.

Quote from: Sephirah on April 19, 2025, 02:51:38 PMNever let it be said that nice guys finish last. Whoever came up with that is a total liar. Girls don't want a bad boy. They want someone they can trust and who won't hurt them. You strike me as that kind of guy, Adrian. Your GF is extremely lucky. My own dad was a bit of a b*****d. I suspect you would do much better as a dad because you care. Which is amazing to me.

You deserved better and I'm proud of you that you're still here and better than what your surroundings were. Many become a product of their environment, but you overcame that and are an amazing woman. I hope I'll become a good father and do good by my partner and new life

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 19, 2025, 03:04:40 PMYou deserved better and I'm proud of you that you're still here and better than what your surroundings were. Many become a product of their environment, but you overcame that and are an amazing woman. I hope I'll become a good father and do good by my partner and new life

I know you will, Adrian. Because you asked for help way before I did. You knew who you are and who you wanted to be before the world seeped into your soul. You are kind, and gentle. But also funny and witty. You are open to everything and take life by the horns. And let's face it, you know meat kung-fu, so there's that. :P

Thank you so much. Your words mean a lot. You're right, a lot of people become a product of their environment. It's the job of places like this to ensure that people don't think that's all their life can be. That we can be something more.

Thank you. You are a very special guy.

Thank you! Figuring out who I am and what I want to do is a lot but it's worth it.
And you've been there throughout this whole journey and to me you're an inspiration on living as myself and a good friend.

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 19, 2025, 03:30:55 PMThank you! Figuring out who I am and what I want to do is a lot but it's worth it.
And you've been there throughout this whole journey and to me you're an inspiration on living as myself and a good friend.

It is a lot, honey. It's a lot of hard work. But you're putting in that work. You're being open about yourself and are not scared to ask for feedback. You're a shining example of what someone can achieve when they don't isolate themselves. When they dare to question and search within themselves. Something too few people do.

The hardest thing we can ever do as people is admit there's something not right. And something we need to change. And... speaking personally... admit that we need help and can't do it all alone.

I wish we had more guys here, Adrian. The site is mostly dominated by girls. So I want to thank you for being here, for putting forward your issues from the other side, as it were. We are not so different, when you look at it. We face the same struggles and the same wants, needs and hopes. It's just... really nice to have that injection of male perspective. So... thank you. <3 And yeah, hon I am going to be there for anyone searching and questioning. Because we are all just trying to find our way. Doesn't matter who you are, what parts you have, how you see yourself. We are all looking for answers and to not feel so alone. :)

Yeah, I've noticed that I'm surrounded by women, but luckily y'all are awesome! And hopefully more guys will show up with time. But thanks for all the help and encouragement, even when I thought this wasn't worth it you showed me it is. So thank you so much. I hope I get the chance to help someone else like you have with me

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 19, 2025, 03:52:35 PMYeah, I've noticed that I'm surrounded by women, but luckily y'all are awesome! And hopefully more guys will show up with time. But thanks for all the help and encouragement, even when I thought this wasn't worth it you showed me it is. So thank you so much. I hope I get the chance to help someone else like you have with me

You already have, Adrian. Me. :) You are as inspirational as you say I am. It works both ways.

Quote from: Sephirah on April 19, 2025, 04:21:38 PMYou already have, Adrian. Me. :) You are as inspirational as you say I am. It works both ways.

I hadn't thought of it that way, but I'm honored to know you see me in the same light as I see you

Little Update: Finally had to shave cause my mustache was getting a bit thick. On the bright side, I'm growing facial hair pre-hrt which I'm very happy about. Being a hairy Latino is great

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 21, 2025, 08:50:56 AMLittle Update: Finally had to shave cause my mustache was getting a bit thick. On the bright side, I'm growing facial hair pre-hrt which I'm very happy about. Being a hairy Latino is great

Very Cool Adrian! Things will likely go in to turbo mode with HRT.

Enjoy the liberation some hair in the right places can provide!

Hugs!

Ashley 💕

Quote from: tgirlamg on April 21, 2025, 09:20:13 AMVery Cool Adrian! Things will likely go in to turbo mode with HRT.

Enjoy the liberation some hair in the right places can provide!

Hugs!

Ashley 💕

I'm not ready for that, but hopefully I'll get on HRT soon! For now I'm just trying to get used to everything

Quote from: Adrian26 on April 21, 2025, 09:31:04 AMI'm not ready for that, but hopefully I'll get on HRT soon! For now I'm just trying to get used to everything

Getting used to everything is the most important step of all 🤗

We have a Terry Black's brisket awaiting us for dinner tonight! God Bless Texas! 🤠👍

Onward,

A 💕

Quote from: tgirlamg on April 21, 2025, 10:11:20 AMGetting used to everything is the most important step of all 🤗

We have a Terry Black's brisket awaiting us for dinner tonight! God Bless Texas! 🤠👍

Onward,

A 💕

Oooo that sounds great right about now, but I don't feel like driving to Amarillo. Hope it's good!