Susan's Place Transgender Resources

After staying up "playing'' with my wife all night I found myself late for work and quickly showered and changed back into my male clothes and went to work at my carpentry job. I was wearing sunglasses as it was summer and the sun was very bright but about midmorning I took them off to wipe the sweat from my face and caused quite a ruckus on our crew because in my haste I had neglected to clean the eye-liner and mascara from my eyes. Not much was said though until lunchtime when we carpooled to a area restaurant and I was the last out of the car and one of my friends turned around and said good naturedly " come on girl you can do your make up later" that actually made me feel pretty good.

I had a few close calls when I was younger, but got caught red handed by my brother once. He would always wake up before me and have to wake me up. It just so happened that the one occasion where he got mad because I wasn't waking up, he pulled my covers off of me and there I was lying there wearing a pear of pink panties. Obviously, I was completely speechless. He just walked out and went to eat breakfast. That whole morning we didn't say one word to each other, not even on the walk to the bus stop.

From that day on he never let me live it down. He would constantly make off-handed remarks about it, not directly, but in a way where it was a sort of inside "joke" between the two of us (joke is not the right word, more like tormenting). I was always scared he would tell my parents, and from that day on I started really trying to enforce the fact that I was male and stuff. I think that happened when I was like 10 or so, so for the next 11 years I was constantly being tortured by his comments until I came out at 21.

However, once I came out to the family, he immediately went into his room and started bawling. My mom and sister went in there and asked what was wrong, and he replied, "I feel so bad about how I've treated [her]." knowing all too well how he's made my life a living hell. I don't think he told anyone the specific reference to that morning, but I know now that he feels awful about how he treated me.

That's an awesome story.....maybe the fear of coming out and being yourself is far worse than keeping it all inside. after all if people can't except us for who we really are then really what's the point? I feel much happier and friendly being Tori because I don't feel so.......phony?

Quote from: Tori Lynn on December 29, 2008, 10:34:02 PM
maybe the fear of coming out and being yourself is far worse than keeping it all inside.

Yes, it is. Every single time before I finally came out to someone, I had so many fears about their reactions, what they'd think, but so far everyone has been nothing but supportive. My family still has some pronoun and name issues, but even they are doing pretty good, all but my dad, but he'll get there.

I got caught by my parents when I was younger. I boldy came up to my friends in full on drag when I was drunk once.

Quote from: SweetStephanie on January 01, 2009, 06:34:50 PM
I boldy came up to my friends in full on drag when I was drunk once.

Wow, how'd that turn out?

well my wife knows all about me and so do my adult children ,but i usually dont let myself be seen by them.but as i work part time in the morning and when i come home i will dress as everyone is at work.but my younger daughter is a teachers helper and some times she comes home early when their day is a half day and its on her callendar and i forgot to look at it one day and i was sitting in the living room when she came home and i was caught running up stairs.well after that during the jewish holidays my wife told me that my daughter was coming home early and i should dress accordingly.so even though they know and have seen my i just have to make sure that i am dressed as a guy when they come home. phylisanne ::)

It makes me feel crappy, stupid, confused, and another thing I cant explain
My family once noticed my sister's panties in our guest room closet, her one piece in my sink, her compression shorts 3 times in my closet, once confronted with my mom and sis finding a two piece in my closet as I was in the room, I said as a complete lie "Well I chafe down there, and use the bottom half to stop that, and my dad caught me wearing a sports-bra once when I was 9(Which I could have gotten away with, had I not told him I was (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fforums.grandbell.net%2FSmileys%2Fdefault%2FFacepalm_emote_gif.gif&hash=9fb4f3bbe6831d236cb256b190db8f97a02ba5e4) ) So I guess they basically know, and would tell them, but I dont think I could go on full time(Even though I really want to) and just the way people think of you, my friends who id loose alot of, basically telling them I have lied constantly and that I feel so wronged and cheated. Plus, I want to make my parents to feel proud when people know Im their son, and be to proud of me.
So does anyone else think that basically that "I let the cat right out of the bag" and they know. Because I get some looks that kinda let me know.

Quote from: Kelsey on January 02, 2009, 12:19:01 AM
Plus, I want to make my parents to feel proud when people know Im their son, and be to proud of me.

You really shouldn't live for other people, live for yourself. What's the point of life if all you're doing is what you need to do to please others? Your parents shouldn't be proud of you because of what you do as their son, and other people shouldn't be proud of you because of what you do as your parent's son. They should all be proud of you for what you do...period.

Hmmm, thats good reasoning.
Ill think about it

Since I began crossdress, I have not tried to hide my clothes. Of course, there are some intimate itmes such as underwear pants and bras, which I should hide in my closet. Occasionally, my kids see them, and I do not care. My wife washes my women's underwear without any complaint. My kids also sometime see my wearing junior's thong, and they sometimes make fun of it.

I espeically care for my kids. I do not know whether it is a joke or not, but my two sons sometimes say they feel shame while going with me, especially when I coax them to go out instead of staying home to play computer games. For this reason, I wear long pants when visiting their school.

A week ago, my second son jokinly told me that he feels a shame with me because of my long hair. Then my first son said he is proud of me. He repeated it in a few days. About 2 weeks ago, he told me that he and his friends watched a local TV news in which I was interviewed regarding some fish species here. This is the first time he sees me on TV, and he seems to believe I am a famous person, despite my long hair. After this TV incident, he seems to say more frequently he is proud of me.

Next TV interview, I will wear makeup (this is a must).

Barbie~~

I've been caught but not dressed up but rather with an anti-androgen drug, and i invented an excuse.

i am sure my parents would had felt more comfortable if i told them i had cancer and this was a treatment for cancer than them knowing i am transgender.

Quote from: Kelsey on January 02, 2009, 12:19:01 AM
and just the way people think of you, my friends who id loose alot of,

if you loose friends after coming out, are they really friends? they are friends to who you pretend to be and not who you are. no one want to be alone but anyone can make new friends any day.

family is another issue of course.

Quote from: barbie on January 04, 2009, 07:15:12 AM

Next TV interview, I will wear makeup (this is a must).

Barbie~~

Hi Barbie,

just for me curiosity, what country do you live in?

Not some much caught, but caught out.
My stepmother found some knickers and a bra in my room under the pretext of 'spring cleaning', then her and my father went completely insane over it. I was accused of being gay and simply told to 'stop it'.
The issue was never raised again, except for the purpose of psychological torture (i.e. "you'll do what I say or I'll tell your friends/the rest of the family.")

I was caught by my parents often, but in reality I gave them a lot of things much worse than wearing lingerie to worry about.

I feel stupid. It sometimes makes me question what I am doing.
It does not happen so much now, partly because I don't try to pass as a male anymore. Occasionally when I get extra dolled up and I do something like trip over I feel extra self-concious, I hate feeling that way like people are looking and thinking "go figure, the >-bleeped-< fell over". I guess it is a confidence thing.

I think it was far more traumatic getting caught masturbating by my dad and having to put up with comments for years. I fixed that by just by not denying it.

I havn't cross dressed for about 20 years now ... thank God ... I look much better as a man.

Ohhh yeah ... I was caught and told to knock it off.

My mother found unmistakable evidence many times. Once I had a secret stash in my room of various pieces which included some horrid attempts at making a skirt out of jeans. One day during spring cleaning she and my brother discovered my stash and began making a scene of it, cracking jokes and everything.

I was mortified; it was one of the worst feelings in my life. I quickly grabbed everything I could from them and hid it in another room and began constructing an all too obvious lie.

Getting caught never feels good, but thanks to the LGBT community I feel better about myself and would likely fare much better today if it were to occur again.

I think i may have been suspected a few times (I would 'borrow' some of my mom's clothes); sometimes i know they didn't make it back to the right spot exactly or make it back before they were maybe noticed.  Plus i am almost certain that she knew i took some of her makeup, one lipstick in particular (which i broke and then tried to fix which ended up making a mess..ended up throwing that out :embarrassed:) ....then again maybe she didn't actually notice or suspect me.  I might have just been nervous about being caught and feeling a little guilty.  After all, she never really confronted me about any of this, she would just say something in passing like she didn't know where she had put something...if i thought i was suspected i would hide something back in her drawer, kind of tuck it away like it had been pushed accidently to the back or put a dress back between something in her closet, so that it was kind of hidden....so my answer is maybe to being caught and anxiety to how i felt.

For me this question raises many issues of why I wear girls' clothes in the first place.  When I go out dressed up am I trying to only pass as a woman or is it about the excitement of possibly getting caught?  I know sometimes I have really gotten pleasure from passing as a woman but other times I have really enjoyed the humiliation/embarassment or being caught especially by women that I know and/or that I feel attracted to. I don't enjoy being caught by boys/men however. Sometimes I will partially crossdress (i.e pantyhose under my pants, light makeup while dressed as a man, etc.) just to see if people will notice.  However,  I often wear girl's pajama's ,slippers, robes, nighties, etc where I am just doing it for the sheer feeling and  don't really want to deal with other's reactions one way or the other.

Quote from: yabby on January 04, 2009, 04:16:24 PM

Quote from: Kelsey on January 02, 2009, 12:19:01 AM
and just the way people think of you, my friends who id loose alot of,

if you loose friends after coming out, are they really friends? they are friends to who you pretend to be and not who you are. no one want to be alone but anyone can make new friends any day.

family is another issue of course.

Well, there is a gay kid in our group, and theyd think I was trying to get attention like he gets. Thats why id loose them.

Quote from: yabby on January 04, 2009, 04:17:22 PM

Hi Barbie,

just for me curiosity, what country do you live in?

http://www.aroundseoul.com/article.php?id=9 (http://www.aroundseoul.com/article.php?id=9)
http://hiteacher.com/korea/drinking-korea.htm (http://hiteacher.com/korea/drinking-korea.htm)

Barbie~~

i remember as a kid being caught by my mom and aunt that was living with us at the time. i had fallen asleep wearing my little sisters swimming suit and i think one of my little brothers who i shared a room with caught me and went and told my mom, anyway i was awakened by her pulling the blanket off me and yelling at me, i was made to strip it off right there in front of them, that made me feel realy dirty and ashamed, my parent wanted to put me in counseling but coudnt afford it. i never realy stopped cross dressing and now that i have been married for 9 years have finely found the courage to tell my wife last week. come to find out she is realy open to the idea and loves the thought of me playing the part of the wife some times. she is the first person i have ever told and now i feel like i can be the person i was born to be, the feeling is great, not having to hide it and not feeling guilty, she even took me shopping for my own outfits day-wear and night-wear. im in heaven i finely feel whole.

Oh, I didn't see this the first time around. Congratulations on coming out to your wife, Amber. That's wonderful! :)

I was caught several times when I was about 10 or 12. Both of my sisters caught me at one time or another, but somehow I dithered enough that they literally forgot about it. Phew.

My mother caught me and confronted me, and made me go to an awful therapist, whom I refused to speak to. Everything about it was terrible, although she wasn't angry. She was just obviously mortified, which made me want to immediately be struck dead. I didn't have any shame about my gender issues beforehand, though I sensed it wasn't something that I I should discuss. After that I deeply hated myself for years. I had a fantasy world where I could be a girl as long as nobody else was let in. She destroyed it.

Hi, I was never caught in full dress but i was questioned on several occasions about why I had eye shadow  on or make up that I did not take off properly. when I was about 10 my brother noticed that I was wearing my sister's panties . He never let me forget it to this day.

thank you Alyssa M. i know just how you feel. on a brighter note i just got my nails done for the first time and i love them. lol have to hide them from my dad as i work with him but there great.

thats awsome Alyssa.
Dominique

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Post Merge: February 05, 2009, 10:23:34 AM

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By the way  how do you think you'r going to hide your nails from your father ,are you going to wear gloves or something.One time I applied nail hardener on my nails it makes them look shiny and people kept asking me if I had nail polish on,I told them no it was just from a good diet.they bought it .I think.
Dominique

once when i was about ten my brother saw me wearing panties and told my mam but not me. she told me to ''Please stop coz my bros (younger than me) were really confused''. she didnt get mad but she wasn't thrilled i was mortified  :eusa_shifty: I came out as trans to her a year later but she thought it was just a phase  :'(
Another time i put on clear nail varnish and coz it's shiny 2 girls at school asked bout it, I denied it of course but i ended up being good friends with one of them for years and she has since said she always thought i was gay lol

So if you wannabeclaire should I call you Claire which I think is a very pretty and sexy name.Anyway thanks for answering me.I'm glad you made one good friend from that experience.Have you used nail varnish since then?

Yea call me claire ;D I wanted that as my username but i think it was taken :(

I've used it a few times but i didn't put as much on. That was the first time and i really went for it!

I just thought that i hav'nt seen that girl in years coz she moved away years ago and when your that young you don't stay in touch

Yes I know how you feel sort of.I think its hard to make friends when your young and a bit different from other kids.I have friends now  but I also have 2 lives . My cd life and my "other life" all I need to do is bring them together as one, and to do that I have to come out and that still scares the crap out of me.

yes i use gloves to hide them. im not ready to come out with my parents, they are so closed minded to that part of the world that i think if i told them it would kill my mom. but i am glad i can talk to my wife and bring my two lives together at least at home. it realy does help with that lonely feeling. i have used the nail hardener alot before and like it but wanted to go with a full nail. i loved it i cryed when i had to take them off ( cant realy hide them from the kids ).

I really empathise with you ,it's so hard to come out to family or any one for that matter.I still havn't but I am out as gay.
lol Dominique

had today the right to a lecture on how to dress and act like a man, it seems that man can only wear a few colors like black and dark blue and that it is not very manly to wear color that are light. of course any thing that has any decorations is not for men ect.......

well today i had my first outing as a woman with my wife, a girls day out so to speak, we went shopping at the mall and went to a wig shop so i could get my first wig. it was a lot of fun and felt great to get out of the house. i will have to post some pics some time. anyway just thought you might like to know, oh i came out to my sister-in-law and it realy has helped a lot. its great to have this site but there is nothing like having a support group of people that are close to you.

MY daughter was only 4 years old and she awoke late at night and caught daddy in a dress and cosmetics. She was only a little confused. She sawit several times afterward. She is 28 now and I think she still remembers because she asked one time if I was gay. A common misconception. My wife was OK with me crossdressing. She even bought me clothing on occasion. However one time she found lipstick stains on a male clothing item and accused of cheating. The  stains came from my lipstick. She didn't beleive it. But that's alright. That relationship was cascading downhill anyway.  My mother caught me once. But I had informed her before so she said if it made me happy I should do it.      ByBy, Genevieve

Hi Genevieve,when I was 10  yrs old my brother saw that I was wearing my sisters panties,it never came up until years later during a family argument when he had nothing else to say he threw that at me in front of alot of people.However it turned out that my mother and my sister knew all along but never said anything.It was embarrassing at the time but its ok now but also I think that because I am gay they accept it more.I don' t get that part though.
Dominique.

A friend of mine whom I had work with on a Navy contract referred to me as brother because we close friends. One evening I was at a local club and the friend came in and was going to approach the pretty redhead. After I spoke  he realized who it was. He no longer calls me brother. It's sister instead. OK, that's fair for me. Genevieve

Quote from: Tori Lynn on December 29, 2008, 10:34:02 PM
That's an awesome story.....maybe the fear of coming out and being yourself is far worse than keeping it all inside. after all if people can't except us for who we really are then really what's the point? I feel much happier and friendly being Tori because I don't feel so.......phony?

I have been found out several times and it is as if a burden is lifted off my back.  Billie

we need to be who we are and if that is somehow interfered with we become something that we are not.

here are my stories,
well never got caught 100% maybe were some alerts or very close wake up calls, needed to be less impulsive here how it went,

i started when i was 6 years old ...balablabla,
I remember at the age of 6 some times when I was trying  on and off my moms heels i was going around the house even in front of others brothers sisters etc, i even made my brothers wearing them as well even with hose etc, my mom one day got tired of it and forbid us to play with her stuff, mostly because we were breaking the heels and tearing off the nylons, i stopped for many years cding,


when i was 16 my sister caught me in the bath wearing a thong, --ouch that was embarrassing!!!-- i can remember i got out of trouble by making jokes and saying i was feeling super horny etc, im not sure if she forgot but it didnt matter to me and she felt it as a hormonal teen ager thing.

Another  one and very strong one was at work, it happened 10 years ago, i was at my office lunch time i though all the staff was out i was opening a package of new shoes i never ever do this in the open of my office, but that day i passed by the po box  and got my package of 6inch ultra high white pumps, i was so excited i couldnt wait for the end of the day so i went for it and open the package, i had all >-bleeped-< out in the open and I decided to put on my new shoes, of course those ones were my first 6inch high heel shoes, couldnt walk at all, i just sitted there admiring and enjoying the moment ....(picture this: i was seated at my chair infront of my desk which faces the entry door of my private, the door was half open so i though I could hear when somebody approaches) well this time a guy from the IT department came along very fast very silent i couldnt even know he was approaching to the office, i could hear him , until i was having him almost infront of me, like a ghost, ...>-bleeped-< i said to my self, i suddenly asked him whats up? in a way to say to him stopp there!!, he said he needs to plug something on my pc for the network etc, .....i said >-bleeped-< this time he is going to discover me, >-bleeped-<...........(i felt i couldnt do anything to avoid the >-bleeped-<n problem , so i though fast, i better be rude and he know me as a rude guy than a weird fellow that wears fetish womens shoes at the offcie when noones is there.....i said to him ok so wait there where you are!!!, very imperative, he wondered why? people sometimes lack respect, this guy really invaded my privacy..........I looked around my shoes were at the oposit of the room, there fore i needed to be naked feet, but where on earth i will hide the shoes, which were having a ultra high metalic needle heel, >-bleeped-< under my desk? hell no!! he will discover there is where he was going, , on a drawer?, all were full, behind the pc cpu ? nah he may like to check something inside he is the computer guy, ...so where?    .....and there i was with my heels still on seated on my desk one guy staring at me what am i doing, and why he is waiting for me?, ...please give me a medal for the follwing.....  i told him demanding voice,   hey, you pass me that trash can, (which was at the entrance of the offfice, perfect size for him to pass it over my desk and him not to see what i will be disposing under my desk, ......i took of the shoes and i put them in the trash can i trashed a bunch of papers that were around and then i spit over it very disgustingly , these to seal that he wont check it over, ....what a freak!!!!!....well it worked, i told him sorry for that, i was not feeling ok and i needed to trash my desert which made a mess all over my place, be carefull for you not to spot your self with some.....he said no problem this will be fast........he went over my pc, install software, then check out the cpu he indeed rotated it to reconnect something, my guts were right and then he finnished and left, he even didnt notices i was naked feet, i was wearin a black hose underneath, that is nothing it could be very thin socks.

I still feel the embarrassment and the scare of that day, i was lucky to think fast and to mislead my fear into first arrogance and then into caring for others, or disgust i dont care what the heck this fellow ended thinking about me, but im certain he is not saying i wear 6inch white high heel metallic pumps at work, hahaha.

Another time also at work, it was maybe 5 years ago, i changed jobs this time my desk was not in a private, was in the open, so i can see everybody who comes in and who comes out, my boss always leaves early and he is the owner of the company, i stayed until late and waited for the last guy to leave then as the last person to be in the office i needed to close behind so what i do regularly is to close all doors including the gate which is automatic, it takes 10 seconds to be open all the way for a normal person to crawl under safely and not hitting his head, so i normally take the time to dress up completely,
one day i was enjoying al long dress and my new high tight lace boots, 5inch high heel, i was walking around the office trying the support and see at my self thru the reflexions of the windows and the glass doors etc, and then suddenly......the door seems to open and the gate to go up ......oh >-bleeped-< i was not gonna make it i ran to my seat i though the boots will never be able to be taken off, so what do ai do? i put on my sweater on over everything and left my dress and the boots on, i seated on my desk in a way noones can see my feet, the dress was black so it was ok, it didnt shown any irregularity while i was seated, i took the fix phone and started to call a friend and started a chat in spanish, .......the person who was coming inside was my boss, >-bleeped-< i though ...he will see me like this...i have to have prepared my plan.......

Plan A, to keep talking and be very focused on my conversation, my boss knows nothing in spanish so he couldnt know to who or for what was the call about , he respected the privacy, he went directly to his offcie , and kept staring at me, he came to my desk and ask me ...wow you work late!!!, are you up for a dinner after-wards i will do something at my office and then i go, or you have plans i said to him well depends, i am in the middle of something very important and i need to do it today, i let you know if i can Finnish fast.....he was ok with that response but he was still wondering why i was having a small luggage in the middle of the way? hahaha , inside were my collection of high heels, nylons, dresses , corsets etc, i forgot to pull it under a desk or out of the way, luckily it was closed.

My plan A was to keep talking as long as i can until the guy is gone, ......it took very long, i needed to keep the conversation with my friend i explain do not hang on me i need to get rid of a guy who is waiting for me to go out, and i really dont want, my friend was supporting me but he needed to go after 20 min, so i only had 20 min left, .....i could fake the call because the little light of the phone will turn off and my boss will know, .....

If in the even my boss finds out i was cross dressed, which was unlikely i was not going to stand up for nothing, only by the ofrce and my boss needed two guys to do that, so i was quite sure i was fine and he wont see me in my dress and my boots, they were on all the time, i need to take them off with the lace and is very complicated, thats why i even didnt try to make the effort was gonna be useless.

So my plan B if incase i was busted anyhow, was to tell the boss i was dressing up for going to a stupid party that i was trying to get away from, but my friends where pushing me to go as all of them were there as fetish bdsm tgurls, and i was the only chicken not coming in, thats why i was talking so long at the office, dressed but not sure to go, embarrassing you (my boss) catching me like thise, well now you got me, tell me how bad do i look? shall i go ahead and make the ridicoulous or i let down my friends and say bye to this group of close firends i had been going out for years.? give me a sugestion please. by the way all this >-bleeped-< is too small for me and im very inconfrotable, so be quick on your opinion which i will follow.

So i have this >-bleeped-< on my head as i was talking to my friend on the phone watching my boss doing his things thru the crystal of his office, ....suddenly.....he stood up but didnt took his keys and his wallet and he started to walk away from his desk, i suddenly knew he was going to the restroom, ok how long it will take maybe one minute? so i told my friend wait hold on, i started to untie my boots, it took me forever, i was there fighting hard to take them of, finally i got hem of, i put my jeans over the dress, i didn't care, and then my shoes, i hide the boots on the luggage but didn't move it from the way, i look at my self to see if the dress was not showing from nowhere, it was fine, i kept talking to my friend and then my boss came back i said bye to my friend on the phone, very quick and then i told my boss if he is ready to go? he said nah im stock in this >-bleeped-<, i told him quickly ok dont worry we can do it tomorrow, suddenly i stood up put on my coat over already the sweater that was over a dress, and took my luggage slowly so the guy there could see it was nothing special, he asked, are you going somewhere? i said not really i got to take a bunch of shirts to the dry clean. he laugh.

phieuuuu, that one was close, i left.

The other thing was where i was going to change back my clothes for going home? then i stayed in a cafe and i took it very easy, i waited for two hours it was very late, i call my boss and asked him if he was still at the office because i couldnt find my wallet, (just checkin) he said he was already at home, ok i said , too bad i think i will go back to check as i have credit cards etc, he said to give him a call if i needed help, then i went back as i was not far, i walked in i changed up again i dressed another dress tried another boots and left peacefully,

What i can conclude is that no matter if we are or not caught, we will never stop, the embarrassment and the fear is not as strong as our willing to dress up again and again.

Be careful guys and keep your beloved ones keeping a peace of mind, by thinking only nice, regular, common things about you, dont test no one, is non of their business as what you do and what you feel is only for you not for others.

Veronica Morph

 

I got busted by my daughter for wearing clear nail polish at a restaurant. I laughed it off and kept my hands under the table for the rest of the meal, chipping away at the polish to try to get rid of it.

I got brave and went outside once wearing a small bra, and a friend i hadn't seen for years suddenly drove by and wanted to chat. I had on a thin cotton shirt, and i'm sure the bra was quite visible. So, i kept my arms crossed in front of me the whole time we were talking. I don't know if my friend noticed anything or not.

Another time when i was first experimenting with makeup i went to work early one morning, and later went to the bathroom where i discovered that i hadn't gotten all of the eyeliner off. It was smeared below my eye, and would have made for an embarrassing situation if anyone had seen me. Since I got to work early I hadn't yet talked to anyone, so i was able to scrub it off before anyone noticed.

I took all of these experiences as reminders to be extra careful when i dress up.

I don't know if this is quite in the spirit of the thread, but when I was about 7 years, I tried, as I was geting ready for bed, making myself up in such a way that I could imagine I was a girl.

I covered my ugly bit with a thick cloth and wrapped something around myself so I could imagine I was wearing a dress. I think I also covered my head because my hair was quite short.

Anyway, my father came in for some reason. He then left and the next I knew, both my parents and my older sister and brother were in. I was made to get out of bed and take all the stuff off in front of them. This was followed by some shouting. I do remember I tried to keep my eyes shut so I could pretend it was a nightmare. But I was made to open them.

After that I was the weakling girly who needed toughining up.

Hope that isn't too depressing. But it's nice to be able to say it.

SPacial,


you just made me feel the horrible feeling that i would be feeling if i were caught doing similar >-bleeped-< during my eraly days, it is a horrible horrible feeling im sure, im sorry it made me even laugh cause of the nerves, ......im sorry you had to pass that big embarassing moment,...... tell me...after that moment did your relationship with all your family was the same as it was a whatever thing? or everybody changed the way to talk with you as a weirdo or as a pervert? i always think if it were me when i was young i was to be seen my entire life in a very negative way. my family is too conservative.

sorry to hear that, i hope you didnt cared afterwards and it was one of those silly moments you are being caught on doing.

Quote from: Veronica Morph on September 28, 2010, 05:56:18 AM
SPacial,


you just made me feel the horrible feeling that i would be feeling if i were caught doing similar >-bleeped-< during my eraly days, it is a horrible horrible feeling im sure, im sorry it made me even laugh cause of the nerves, ......im sorry you had to pass that big embarassing moment,...... tell me...after that moment did your relationship with all your family was the same as it was a whatever thing? or everybody changed the way to talk with you as a weirdo or as a pervert? i always think if it were me when i was young i was to be seen my entire life in a very negative way. my family is too conservative.

sorry to hear that, i hope you didnt cared afterwards and it was one of those silly moments you are being caught on doing.

I'm sorry to say that it wasn't forgotten. My family's dynamics were quite complicated.

I spent a lot of time brooding over many things, but there is little to be gained from digging up the past.

I really feel we need to work to make society a better place for children. We hear so many positive things, parents being tolerant of their children's feelings and needs.

Today, in the news, there is a story of a young boy of 8 years who wet his bed. His father apprently spent 90 minutes spraying him with cold water from a garden hose. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3155069/Hose-down-dad-facing-jail-term.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=News (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3155069/Hose-down-dad-facing-jail-term.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=News)

It's too easy to assume that things are improving. They are for some. rejennyrated had incredable parents. But even she will admit they were a minority and had a somewhat alternative lifestyle.

In my parent's case, they had lived through WW2. They were convinced that there would be another war and that their sons would go and fight. So trying to force us to be tough was a priority for them.

I have only ever been caught once in my life. It just so happens that it was the first time that I had ever 'experimented' with women's clothes. I was maybe 8 or 9 and had been curious about my mom's and sister's panties and bras in the laundry for a little while, wondering how they would feel and how I would look in them. One day when my mother was out and I was home alone, I decided to try on my sister's red cotton panties. They felt oh-so-good and felt 'right', I was hooked. Then I heard the sound of the front door being unlocked and I scrambled to put something on before my mom reached my room. Unfortunately, I only got as far as putting on my white cotton briefs (over the red panties) by the time she got to my room (did not have a door). Her Mom radar immediately saw through the white briefs and picked out the details of the red panties beneath.

She asked what I was doing? nothing
Why are you wearing those? I don't know (honest answer)
How long have you been doing this? This is the first time
Don't let me ever catch you wearing these things again or I will send you to the same place your father went (mental hospital) and you won't come back.

I have made absolutely certain that she never caught me again - I didn't stop dressing, but never got caught. It was one of the most humiliating and embarrassing experiences in my life. It was around that time that the depressing really starting attacking me.

Deanna

When I was old enough to not need a babysitter, every time my parents went out and I knew they'd be gone for a couple of hours or more I'd head straight for the good stuff in my mom's closet  ;D (I didn't have any sisters or I'm sure I'd have been checking that out too ::) ).   One night they left and I went to get dressed up and opening a drawer I found a note that said something like: "go do the dishes, and then finish your homework, love mom".  I was obviously busted, but she never said anything, and neither did I.

Another time my secret stash disappeared, and I can only presume she found it.  Again, no comment by anyone.

Much, much later, while in college I was living in student housing with five other guys.  The previous tenants had apparently been female and there was a box of clothes that had been left in the basement - that included panties, bras and lingerie, in addition to some shirts (unfortunately no dresses or skirts!).  Before finding that I'd been avoiding the 'call to dress' for some time.  But just knowing it was there in the same house with me was too much to withstand and I soon brought some of it upstairs and hid it in the back of a drawer in my room.  One night, very late after a party, and very drunk, I was seen by some of my roommates dressed in a nightie.   I took quit a bit of ribbing after that - but in retrospect I don't think any of them really held it against me in any way.  We continued to live together in the same house and got along fine.  Although after many years I've not kept in contact with them, and I probably would have if I hadn't been detected.  I regret that, but can't seem to overcome it for fear it would be brought up again.  It's easy to be a coward.   :embarrassed:

Quote from: ani on October 05, 2010, 01:42:21 AM
.  It's easy to be a coward.   :embarrassed:

I totally disagree.
I think that thought is what keeps people in closets. The hardest thing is to be a coward. The easiest thing is to stand up and be yourself.  Many people think it is easy to hide. Nope, the easy is to walk out and say hello world.
The more you do it the easier it is, the more you are a 'coward' the further the walk.

Love Life, Love You.

Cindy

That is a very good point Cindy.

Had a few close calls, but never caught outright. Usually it was when I was sleeping in girls cloths and someone comes in and tries to get me to get out of bed. I usually just took my time and tried to get whoever to leave for a second (I'd often just claim I wasn't wearing anything). I was always worried what they would say, but I've since admitted cross dressing to my parents, so it wouldn't be a problem if that happened now.

I started experimenting when I was about 9, by wearing my mothers clothes(no sister only an older brother). I enjoyed dressing up in her bras, dresses, pantyhose and heels, but always felt disappointed that I could never complete the look with make-up. After a year of closeted dressing and sure no one knew, because it was never discussed, I was stunned that when Halloween was approaching and I was deciding on a costume, my mother suggested I go as a girl. Even though I was 10, I did have a guilty conscience, so I was sure my mom knew something and was testing me. So, I did the typical thing and acted disgusted with the idea, thinking she would reveal that she knew my secret and confront me. She didn't. My mom used to make our costumes, so we always had our costumes picked out by mid September so she could make them. This talk happened in August. Well, after my refusal, I was dying inside wanting to accept my mom's suggestion, but scared that if I did my secret would be out.

Well, at this time my best friend was a girl who lived next door. One day we got to talking about Halloween and what we should go as. We always trick or treated together. I said I was undecided and she said she was going to go as a boy. She then said, "since we always T or T together, wouldn't  it be cool if you went as a girl. We could pretend to be dating or something." I replied with "are you serious?" However, I knew that's exactly what we would do. I now had a way to accept my mom's suggestion without accepting it. So, I got the courage and told my mom that I would dress up as a girl, since my friend was going as a boy.

That Halloween, was the best ever. I got to indulge my secret in full view of everyone, without them knowing how much I was loving it. My mom obviously did my make-up, what she didn't know was that after she was done, I went to my room and wrote down the name of everything she used. I never wore make-up until that day, so I had no clue what eye shadow or blush or foundation was. I wore a white blouse with big ribbons that needed tying at the collar, a gray skirt, with blue tights and black ballet shoes, oh yeah and a ladies fedora. The clothes were borrowed from my older cousin who out grew them. The only thing bought was a training bra, which we stuffed with tissues. I ended up keeping the clothes even after Halloween. I remember my mom washing them and throwing them in a garbage bag with other clothes she was going to donate, since my Aunt said she didn't need the clothes back. I was tired of wearing my mom's clothes that never fit and the fear of her finally noticing clothes are misplaced, so I decided to take the clothes out of the donation pile. I hid them in the gym back that I kept my soccer equipment in. I was always nervous she'd notice the clothes missing from the bag, but she never did. I was always woke up early, so knowing that, each night I would go to bed in my Halloween costume.

The next time I feared being outed was when I was 15. My parents went to a Christmas party and my brother was supposed to be at a friends house for the weekend. My parents would always call when on their way home, so knew I would have time to change. I had the house to myself, and did what I always did, got dressed. By this point I was back to wearing my mom's clothes because I had out grown my Halloween costume and never considered buying clothes. Anyways, I was all dressed up(minus make-up, only attempted make-up once after Halloween, found it too difficult and time consuming). I was wearing a bra with matching panties, white cocktail dress, white hose, with white ankle high boots with 3" heels. I had longish hair, so I styled it as much as I could to look feminine. I was in pure heaven for about 2 hours, until it almost turned in to hell. Not expecting anyone home for another hour or so, I was frozen with panic when I heard the door that lead to the garage open. I had nowhere to hide and only seconds until the person would walk into the family room and see me as Alyssa. My reaction, I grabbed the blanket that was on the couch and covered myself. Just as I did my brother walked into the room. He questioned why I was covered up since I was sweating and the house was warm. I lied and said I felt sick and questioned why he was home. He forgot a piece of hockey equipment he was going to need the next day. He got what he needed and left again. Once he left I decided to get undressed because my parents could be home soon. Which was the case. I was just opening the door to my parent's room to get undressed when I heard my dad announce they were home. I changed direction and headed to the hallway bathroom. I was able to get undressed and back into my own clothes without any further incident. The only problem was that it took another day for me to have the time to return the clothes to my mom's closet.

It was the Internet that got me busted. Because of circumstances, I attended a local college and to save money stayed with my parents.  I had pretty much stopped dressing after the above scenario. I still had the urges, but felt the consequences were too severe. I grew up having a huge crush on Alyssa Milano(inspiration for my name) from the TV show "Who's The Boss?". Well, one day(I'm 21) a movie channel was showing a movie Alyssa did, where she plays a college student who falls in love with a guy who also happens to be secretly cross dressing as her BFF. Seeing this movie really reignited the "Alyssa" in me. Not feeling comfortable dressing in my mom's clothes anymore, I decided to go online. I had done some very brief CD research online before but never to shop. I found a site that specialized in clothing for cross dressers and with much apprehension, ordered my first outfit. I purchased a sexy navy blue mini-dress, fishnet stockings, a starter's make-up kit and a bra & thong set. The package arrived 2 weeks later. Our family's daily schedule guaranteed that I would be home alone to receive the package no matter what day it arrived. What I didn't consider, happened a week later. After coming home from school my mom said we needed to talk in a very serious tone. I had no idea about what. It turned out, that 2 days after the clothes arrived, my father had gone around the house to collect the garbage and in doing so happened to see the tags that I removed from the clothes in my bedroom garbage, which lead to them finding the clothes in a gym bag in my closet. It had taken my mom 3 days after their discovery to confront me, which she did by having everything I bought displayed on the kitchen table. In total shock I just froze and tried to come up with an explanation. I was still struggling with what I was feeling inside regarding my dressing, so when I unfroze I just revealed everything. I was expecting her to say she suspected something, but this caught her completely off guard. To understand cross dressing better and why I did it, I saw a psychologist for about 18 months. I convinced myself, the shrink and my family(I also told my brother) that it was a phase and that I had gotten it out of my system.

Which I did for about 5+ years. Now, I sleep in a baby doll nightie every night, wear panties and hose under my clothes almost daily, and fully dress about 2-4 times a month when my roommate is gone. To this day my family believes that I stopped over 12 years ago.

I want to finish by saying that I missed this place. I joined last month planning on being a regular contributor, unfortunately life got in the way. Everything is back in order again, so I will be a much more frequent visitor.

cdalyssa

That was a great story. I really feel for you, so many missed opportinities, missed because of lack of confidence.

Really hope you can find the courrage to come out to your family. They sound pretty good.

Spacial, thanks for the encouraging words. That's what I love about this place. I'm still not sure about coming out to family. While I enjoy being Alyssa, I still enjoy being Rob. I plan to still live my life as Rob, so right now I see no need to come out. I'm single right now, but have told 2 of my most recent girlfriends about Alyssa. The 1st gf was fine with it, but the 2nd ended our relationship because of it. So, when I'm serious again about a girl, I will be honest.

When I was still living with my mom, two of the few blessings I had at that house was a door with a working lock and a bathroom built in. Mom would get pissed any time she came to barge in and the door was locked, but even though I always panicked whenever my door was being banged on whilst I was in a miniskirt, I was able to say I was just using the bathroom and didn't want to miss whatever was on TV.

Since I've been living with my dad, I've been limiting my dressing up to when I'm the only one home and when I'm the only one awake. Although there was one time a friend of mine nearly saw XD

Alyssa:

your story is very nice and i can remmebr on many of the moments i was also home alone and fully dressing up, i got a close call similiar that you got with your brother, i was also in the fist floor of my house (two story home) and heeling very nicely in the marble floor of the dinning room, soon after the door just open, i >-bleeped-< no place to hide no place to undress, the heels were having a strap around the ankle and i needed at least 30sec to unfasten it, so i needed to act fast and the blanket method helped well but I was inthere for quite good time with heels and hose and everything on not able to even move or go to my bedroom , the clicka of the shoes will uncover me athomatically, I decided no matters what will happen that blancket doesnt goes from me and i was supposed also not feeling ok, doing homework in the dining table, my mom was around for pretty long time in the kitchen preparing food etc, i couldnt go nothing i was stock there, and the only thing i could do was to remove the shoes swhen i could as the blanket was too small any moevement will show a leg and a shoe easily, so i needed to be careful.

Finally i did it and then when my mom was focused on soemthing i staood up and ran fast updtairs, saying i was going to the bathroom, i removed all the stuff and found it exciting the adventure, i remmber i even dare to keep the hose on and put on payamas and sock underneath, so it was not enought for me,

MAny ocasions i remember i couldnt return the stuff back to its place on time, some times when it was too obvious i disapearthem and kept them better said that is lost rather than i wore it, also i never used stuff that my mom use regularly only old and forgotten things, hose that were already thorn or cheap or she was having many the same style etc, i remember that a couple of times i broke zippers on skirts and dresses, i stayed hours repairing them etc, i learn to be much more careful afterwards.

By the way as Cindy wrote meaning that it is better to say the truth than live in a lie, well is right, but i dont call it to be coward action, everybody has their own reasons, and not sharing the same view of life in cross dressing, being out from the closet is not being coward. just wanted to pointed out, and no offense taken neither.

There was a period when I was a teenager where I did this alot and even snuck out at night and when dressed like this I would occasionally take a photo so I could present as female online without raising suspicion it also felt nice when I was read as female from the photo.

However there were a couple of incidents.
Most memorably The time I snuck out one night out my window when I thought my mum had gone to sleep I wandered around abit and came back went to bed but apprently my mother was downstairs in the dark when she heard me coming in in the dark in the poor illumination and me having practiced a so-so female voice she thought I WAS female.
The next day she confronted me about it and accused me of sneaking girls into the house without permission at night and doing questionable things... The idea that I WAS that girl was completely unthinkable to her.

Another incident during my teens, I mentioned the photographs well I let a friend borrow my laptop I thought I'd hidden all of those photographs however she somehow found one that I'd carelessly missed it wasn't provkative(It never was) just me pulling a face at the camera.

She did confront me and tell all my friends and it was a big laughing fuss with everyone around about it at first I told her "That isn't me she dosen't look anything like me that's just a friend" still they were doubtful of my claims I told the best lie I could and they brought it at face value.

In both cases I felt an incredible sense of dread and gut wrenching fear... You know that mortal social fear you feel light headed and want the world to swallow you and about but I equally knew it wasn't enough to make me stop.

And there was an incident in my childhood age7 or so whitch I recall in whitch I apprently crossdressed and didn't think anything was wrong with it I don't even know if it was gender motivated. But my mother found me and scathingly said to me "Oh what? You think your a girl now or somthing?" in a harsh tone whitch made me realize I wasn't permitted to do such a thing.

I was caught repeatedly as a kid, and then "shamed". Boys shouldn't do this as I was always told, but my inner self always found a way to raise the bar. It was habit forming for awhile, but I got good at hiding it, in shame. Fast forward 15 years, I forgot to take off my make up one night before leaving the house, and was called out by a very passable tv gurl. That was very interesting to be in that situation and I was thankful that she was nice about it.

I've had a few close calls. Most of them were due to the lack of a lock on the bedroom doors in the house I grew up in.

There were a few times my Mom would pop open my door in the morning to wake me up for school and I would be laying there under my blankets in my sister's "borrowed" undies, and a few times her one-piece swimsuit. (I maintain that a one-piece swim suit is one of the most feminine things I've ever worn, and I love the feeling of them.) Anyways, my mom would stand there and say "well... get up" because she knew that if she didn't see me get out of bed I would just roll over and go back to sleep, so I would just reach under the blankets and wiggle out of the bra and panties (or swimsuit) and into a pair of boxers which I wisely kept under the blankets just in case. She'd ask what I was doing and I would just tell her that I was finding my boxers, because they slipped down while I was sleeping. That trick saved me everytime thankfully.

I was kind of caught once by my sister. It was the olden days of the 90's when a family only had one computer, and it used a phone line to connect to the internet. It was a weekend tradition that whenever my sister or I heard each other start to wake up in the mornings that we would jump out of bed and race down to the dining room to secure that precious first turn to play on the family computer. Well, one morning I managed to win despite having to remove a "borrowed" bra of hers that I had slept in, I think I beat her to the computer because she went into the bathroom instead of going right to the computer as usual. When she came down to see what game I was playing she apparently noticed the clear and telltale marks of bra straps on both my shoulders. She went on and on about them, in an amused/disbelieving tone of voice. I tried to shrug it off and pretend it was nothing, maybe the bed sheets had wrinkled and made the lines but she was insistant that they looked like bra straps. Eventually she just said "weird..." and left me alone. A few minutes later I went back to my room and put on a t-shirt and vowed that I wouldn't go downstairs in just my pajama pants ever again.

Another time my Mom came in my room and just started going through my drawers. I was angry and protested a ton but she just made excuses and didn't stop. I knew that sooner or later she would come accross a few items I had stashed in the bottom of the bottom dresser drawer, and I just went downstairs and started watching tv, though I was freaking out on the inside. I never heard a word from her on the subject. I don't know if she suspected that I was doing a little crossdressing, or if she had just watched a "does your child do drugs?" special on tv or what, but the few clothes I had were gone. I never brought it up...
I like to think she rationalized it though. It wasn't a rare thing for people's clothes to get mixed up and end up in each others rooms. All our laundry was washed together and then sorted hastily by my father so I had a possible explanation even though she never confronted me about it.

The closest I ever came to being caught was when I was a young kid and my parents and sister left for what was supposed to be a whole day excursion. Of course I took the opportunity to get dressed up in a cute bathing suit.

However, apparently they forgot something at the house and ended up coming back for it about 5 minutes later. I was totally caught off guard and as soon as I heard the front door open, I threw down my NES controller and shut my bedroom door as fast as I could!

My mother heard this and came straight to my door and knocked, asking me what was going on. I was holding the door shut and changing back into my boys' clothes. I hid the bathing suit under my seat cushion and then opened the door.

She was very confused but luckily I wasn't caught hehe. When I came out to her two Decembers ago she didn't recall that incident ;)

I once got caught by my grandma when I was around 10. i was wearing my mother's bathing suit. She didn't say a thing. She just smiled, kissed me on the cheek and walked out of the room. Nothing was ever said, as far as I know. It was both terrifying and exciting at the same time.
Beth

Yes by my X wife! She Just could not except my wearing silky womans, soft comfortable, delicate and pretty things (sexy too). We are good friends, but she now has a girl friend and is bi. So I'm very confused ,embaressed and betrayed .

Quote from: pantymancan on November 19, 2010, 03:24:46 PM
Yes by my X wife! She Just could not except my wearing silky womans, soft comfortable, delicate and pretty things (sexy too). We are good friends, but she now has a girl friend and is bi. So I'm very confused ,embaressed and betrayed .

Can you describe a little more of your situation?

It sounds like you're going through a rough time. Be really interested to hear about it.

It's a long story. only have time for bits and pieces. It start 35 years ago, she was my friend.
20 years ago she became my lover and best friend. I let her know all about my crossdressing, she never liked it and told me not to do it around her. That was fine and she knew my fantasy was her dressing me up and makeing love to my wonderful wife (never happend). so in the closet I lived. alone embaressed and ashamed, we still had regular hetro sex. It deminished over the years as she was secretly haveing an affair with a woman. gotta go

Quote from: pantymancan on November 19, 2010, 05:56:19 PM
It's a long story. only have time for bits and pieces. It start 35 years ago, she was my friend.
20 years ago she became my lover and best friend. I let her know all about my crossdressing, she never liked it and told me not to do it around her. That was fine and she knew my fantasy was her dressing me up and makeing love to my wonderful wife (never happend). so in the closet I lived. alone embaressed and ashamed, we still had regular hetro sex. It deminished over the years as she was secretly haveing an affair with a woman. gotta go

Do you think she was trying to immasculate you?

I'm not sure? she later had a boy friend , her girl friends husband. she said he said that stuff is sick without telling him who she was talking about ( yea right ). Any way the situation has become rather nice, do what I want when I want and wear sexy stuff for myself. Still lonley and confused. She tells me now,that she would take a man like me any time, honest careing sensative. I can not take a woman like her. I forgive her for the adultry but I cannot forget and she understands. so we remain friends who never speak.

Quote from: ani on October 05, 2010, 01:42:21 AM
One night they left and I went to get dressed up and opening a drawer I found a note that said something like: "go do the dishes, and then finish your homework, love mom".  I was obviously busted, but she never said anything, and neither did I.

I wanted to comment on Ani's post from 05 Oct.  What ever happened between your Mum and you with respect to this.  Your Mum to me sounds very understanding and loving and perhaps would be open to anything you need or want to tell her.  Our son came home during his first year of uni announcing that he was gay or at least had a fluid sexuality as he calls it.  It really was no surprise to us and all that worry on his part keeping it to himself was just that............a worry.  I think you would be surprised if you spoke with her about it and you would feel a bit better within yourself.

Love Rebecca xx

PS if this format doesn't look right.............sorry......I haven't done a quote before.

(I fixed it for you hun - Nicole)

Quote from: pantymancan on November 19, 2010, 06:43:04 PM
I'm not sure? she later had a boy friend , her girl friends husband. she said he said that stuff is sick without telling him who she was talking about ( yea right ). Any way the situation has become rather nice, do what I want when I want and wear sexy stuff for myself. Still lonley and confused. She tells me now,that she would take a man like me any time, honest careing sensative. I can not take a woman like her. I forgive her for the adultry but I cannot forget and she understands. so we remain friends who never speak.

I don't want this to come out the wrong way, but if you never speak, can you really consider yourselves friends?

Do you think she was trying to immasculate you?
No woman - or man - can do this to somebody without the victims consent - unless you are being literal.

Good point, I should have said, we remain civil to one another when we bump into each other. (small town)

Quote from: tekla on November 22, 2010, 08:13:43 AM
Do you think she was trying to immasculate you?
No woman - or man - can do this to somebody without the victims consent - unless you are being literal.

Possibly. In as much as victims seek bullies.

But, in the context, I got the impression that the woman was attempting to undermine Pantyman and ultimately, to attack his sexual legitmacy.

Quoteshe knew my fantasy was her dressing me up and makeing love to my wonderful wife (never happend). so in the closet I lived. alone embaressed and ashamed, we still had regular hetro sex. It deminished over the years as she was secretly haveing an affair with a woman.

These seem hostile acts. Knowing Pantyman's fantacies, yet enforcing 'hetro sex'. Knowing Pantyman was alone embaressed and ashamed. Then embarking on an affair with a woman, (insult to injury), letting Pantyman discover it when, presumably, she thought it might achieve the desired effect.

every ones insight is very good, many of the emotions I felt were warranted. And it's comforting to know that this place is a place of understanding. I'm so glad to know my true feelings and there are others who are a inspiration.

First time i got caught, well maybe not so much caught but i was playing football for our works team when during a somewhat nasty tackle i broke my leg, got taken to hospital and i realised i had nail varnish on my toe nails, now this was early 80s when a bloke wearing nail varnish was more of an issue than what it is nowadays, was the laughing stock of the hospital ward,but some how managed to scrape it all off with my finger nails, which wasnt easy with my leg in plaster.

Few years back my wife phoned our neighbour to say she was going to be late back from work and asked if they would run down to tell me, now  our neighbours got a habit of knocking but then walking straight in and this is what happend on this occasion and there was me sat on the sofa in my full glory, short denim skirt blouse wig the works, think i went from 0 to top of the stairs in about 3 seconds, just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. Nowadays though if the same happend i would just sit there and ask if they wanted a coffee, oh how things have changed since those days of actually being ashamed of what i am and feeling the need to hide it  away from everyone

I know this thread is for the girls, but I had one experience, were I had hung my binder out to dry, and then completely forgot about it. Hours later, while watching TV, I remembered it and hurried to the kitchen, where it was.
By then my husband had come hoem already and also removed the binder because he needed the space to dry other clothes.
You know how sometimes when you're afraid your sweat gets this really sour smell suddenly? This is what happened. I stood there, looking at my binder, and couldn't really move. I don't know if he realized what that thing was, which was much heavier that the usual t-shirt and also a different cut.
He never asked.
But ever since I've grown to be much more careful about where to keep my items.

Hi Kev,  sorry my english is limited sometimes and i couldnt get the whole idea of your story, can you pls explain or give a synonym of "binder", cheers

I was in middle school when my mom found one of her nighties between my bed cushions.  She wrote me a letter and left it on the table.  She said that she didn't know why it was there, was dumbfounded, but that I had violated her trust and she was having my dad put a lock on their bedroom door.  I panicked but told her that I would hold it when I would look at Dad's Playboy magazines and masturbated, taking extra care to look ashamed.  This was a total lie, I wore it to bed every night and hadn't even started masturbating at that point.  I had figured that it'd be better to be a perverted regular boy than whatever I actually was.   She hugged me and said she was sorry for being mad.  Though they did try to keep their bedroom door locked from that point on.

I was wearing stocking, shoes, a dress and makeup and watching TV on the couch after school in eight grade when by brother came home from school.  I ran into the bathroom then heard a giggling from outside the bathroom door.  He was peeking under the door.  "You're wearing girl's shoes!"  I told him that I put them on as a joke, I was going to throw my legs over the edge of the couch when he got home and fake seduce him.  It was going to be REALLY FUNNY but then I had to go to the bathroom right when he got home and it ruined the joke.   He bought it and never brought it up again.

I stole clothes and makeup from friends and family all through middle and high school and was never caught.  I would wear tights under my pants to school.  One day a kid pushed me into a locker, started hitting me and ripped my shirt off of me as I fell to the floor.  I had to walk shirtless to the principles office through full hallways. After that I stopped wearing girl clothes under boy clothes....just in case.

I've been semi-busted a few times when I lived at home. I used to keep a drawer of panties and tights and stockings I would wear to school under my uniform. My mother was helping me tidy my room and opened the aforementioned drawer, "That one's full!" I managed to muster miliseconds before she noticed the contents.
Furthermore, I would keep some panties in my own underwear drawer and i was confronted by my parents a couple of times, "they must have got bundled up in the wash" was my excuse each time and I think they bought it (I think the lie was more comforting than the other possibilities).

The other day I had been wearing my wife's stuff (she does not yet know, but she will soon...) whilst she was out eventually I had to change back into my work clothes but hadn't put her underwear in the proper place... There was no excuse given this time as there was nothing really I could say.

The only comment she made though was "as long as you're not gay".

I've been caught while been full dressed once, both of my sister went to school and my parents were at work, so I immediatly took the chance. When I was in lingerie and in full waterproof makeup one of my sisters came home with a friend (also female) of her. I noticed the sound of a door slamming, so I quickly ran to the bathroom to undo from everything. My sister came upstairs and then I found out that there were no clothes (male) of mine and no makeup remover in the bathroom. I kept in the bathroom for about 15 minutes, but my sister kept asking me what I was doing. So I only had 2 options:
- Stay in the bathroom till she left, but that could take a long time
- Or come out of the bathroom in full dress and makeup and embarrasing my sister and here friend

I choose for option two... It was a very hard decision...

After this happend she told my parents and they have forbidden me to do something like that ever again, but I just can't ignore my feelings, so I will keep doing it...

This was the worst moment of my life, but I felt like being caught several times before that. My parents sometimes noticed some black smugged lines under my eye and then they asked me what the black stuff was, I always pretended that it must have been some dirt or something and thought they took it, but a little voice told me they didn't...

I'm still busy telling people about my feelings, so this post is a step in the right direction and I want to have some contact with people who have the same thoughts as me, so I found this forum. I'm very glad about that...

Cindy

I finally got "caught" about three weeks ago. It was difficult to be properly caught before because I have told and shown so many people that there is no chance to be caught by people who don't know already. Anyway I was all dressed up (in short shorts) and wigged up and made up after a day showing an old school friend around the city here, and I was looking after another friend's house and his dog over the Summer. There was another dog owner, a woman who I used to bump into and chat to as we both took the dogs for a walk at the same time. That night for the first time her dog had worked out where we were, and come crawling undeer the fence and into the garden.....so I had to go out to let him back out through the garden gate and sheepishly explain to his owner that I liked doing this and dressed whenever I went out socially....and what do you think happened after that?

She invited me to dinner in a few days' time with her family, and said I could come dressed like that if I wanted! Phew! :D

(I ran out of time to change for the dinner, and unfortunately had to go in man mode, but next time...)

For Pantymancam,
I was in a very similar situation....
My ex was aware of the "other me".We even went out together with with me being fully dressed with makeup and a wig.Alas,she had a few affairs with other women and we divorced.I was a very dark and confusing time for me.It is comforting to know that I am not the only one to have experienced this.
Thank you SO much for sharing!Please excuse me if I wandered from the topic.
Hugs,
Susan S.

Back in my late teens, I was wearing my mom's one piece swim suit whilst hiking in what I thought was a remote area.  Wearing the one piece just felt great on a warm day. I rounded a rocky area to find to encounter an older woman there sitting eating her lunch. I could feel her eyes upon me as I hiked past, nothing was ever said. This encounter did make me evaluate at that time, why was I so interested in wearing female items. Several purge cycles and decades later, I still go hiking en femme. It's just a simple pleasure I enjoy, however now I wear a tennis dress, tights, and my boots, feels so good in the summer.

Never directly caught, though my parents as a teen found my 'stash' of girly clothing and makeup.

Nothing much came out of it though, as my parents are in the case of my dad and were in the case of my mother cool and accepting sort of people

I used were in her case because she unfortunately passed from cancer in the early part of last decade.. not because she's still around and not accepting.. just didn't want that misconception to get out there in anyway shape or form as my mom ruled!

I am not sure this would be considered being caught but I got brave once and hid some of my panties in my underwear drawer  :angel:. Well, my wife decided to use one of my old tee shirts and oooops, she found my panties  :-\. It wasn't pretty and I just said I couldn't help it if I were born a transvestite. So, she learned about me dressing but thinks I quit  ;D.

Jean

I was walking down the street in all silver (dress, heels, etc...) with no wig on when I was a kid, carrying a Polaroid camera hoping to take a picture somewhere. A car drove by and some guy inside shouted: "Halloween was yesterday!" It was  ;)

(in transsexual suppression) I was driving home one night in full women's clothing and makeup and a cop lit me up. He didn't stop me though.

I don't think being read after identifying as a "for certain transsexual" counts, though. I've lived as a woman very part time for a couple of years (kids and a wife complicate this).

Well tonight I had go out to meet elderly overseas relatives for a BBQ,  I have never met them before, but I didn't want to upset my mother in law, who is half blind so uses voice recognition anyway. So I turn up in girl cargo pants, girl shoes and a girl T,  but no wig and only a little (eye) make up. I walk in in the house and my sister in law looks at me and says either put on a bra or a baggy T shirt,  your nipples are like beacons and you boobs are obvious. Damn, I've been caught cross dressing.


Cindy

i just started another thread on this not realizing this one was here :

as I write...there have been a few occasions as a teen where I got caught either having womens clothing or wearing. not to mention makeup and nair (wanted to make my legs smooth ).

big one was when I was 12...in my sisters closet ..she found out. i wanted to crawl into a hole

another one was when i was 19. i wrote a letter to trans magazine that i left on my computer (before the magic of screen savers). for my sister to see. the following day my mother found clothing items and a copy of said trans magazine in garbage as i felt the need to purge.

It really bothers me how girls are given a wider range of acceptable gender expression than boys.  I grew up wearing hand-me-downs from my brother and male cousins for the most part and then switched to jeans, t-shirts, and running shoes as I grew older.  Now I wear all men's clothing with a men's haircut, and nobody bats an eyelash even though I'm still seen as a girl by most people.  I don't think there would be a way to be "caught crossdressing" as an FtM unless you were wearing facial hair or were packing.

It would be easier to ask who hasn't caught me at this point  :laugh:

The first few times I got caught like when I was a teen I was like  :o  But now it's more like...

"Well I guess they know too now"  :laugh:

Quote from: Lee on February 27, 2011, 03:57:32 PM
It really bothers me how girls are given a wider range of acceptable gender expression than boys.  I grew up wearing hand-me-downs from my brother and male cousins for the most part and then switched to jeans, t-shirts, and running shoes as I grew older.  Now I wear all men's clothing with a men's haircut, and nobody bats an eyelash even though I'm still seen as a girl by most people.  I don't think there would be a way to be "caught crossdressing" as an FtM unless you were wearing facial hair or were packing.

That's my bugbear as well.

I'm sorta turning it on its head though by telling myself that my jeans, sweatshirt and shoes are cross dressing, since they are clearly male type clothing.

No-one else notices though. But I kinda like not attracting attention.  :laugh:

Quote from: Tori Lynn on December 29, 2008, 09:50:47 PM
After staying up "playing'' with my wife all night I found myself late for work and quickly showered and changed back into my male clothes and went to work at my carpentry job. I was wearing sunglasses as it was summer and the sun was very bright but about midmorning I took them off to wipe the sweat from my face and caused quite a ruckus on our crew because in my haste I had neglected to clean the eye-liner and mascara from my eyes. Not much was said though until lunchtime when we carpooled to a area restaurant and I was the last out of the car and one of my friends turned around and said good naturedly " come on girl you can do your make up later" that actually made me feel pretty good.

I did something like that. Had breakfast with my workers at the local café and left red lipstick on the coffee mug.  :icon_redface:

There have been only two times I can remember where I was caught,  One was when I was 16 and was wearing a silk night gown to bed.  I got up in the morning to get ready for school and thru the night gown into the back corner of my closet.  Low and behold, my mother just happened to decide to do laundry that day and, you guessed it!  she found the yellow silk gown in my closet.  Asked me if there was something wrong with me and maybe I should see a shrink?    The other time was when I was wearing panties while at work.  I got home at night, took the panties off and put them in my jeans pocket, well I got a rude awakening by my wife after she decided to do laundry when she held up my panties and asked who they belonged too?  I told her they were mine.  She was mad for a day or two, but after I told her I wont wear them anymore, she calmed down.  that was over 10 yrs ago.

I was caught my landlord when he came to my door once. I was somewhat prepared. After I wiped it hurriedly I showed them the dvd tape about being a rodeo clown. Since I worked with horses on a farm and had had a time in the hospital for broken bones from being dumped by a horse they believed me. I don't break horses anymore, tho it hurts too much. Since then a girlfriend caught me but only expected me to be Xdressed everytime she saw me. She later dumped me for a macho sex machine. Now  I think I'm my own wife.

No, but one time my wife asked why my jean pockets were so small. :-X

When I was twelve I had this red backpack that I kept all the cloths I could nick from my Mom. One day I decided I'd go out to the green belt behind my house and dress up outside for the first time.  My stepdad at the time stopped me at the door and demanded to know what was in the bag to which my only answer was the standard " nothing". He grabbed the backpack by the handle at the top, tore it off me and ripped it open. After that he called my mom home from work and yelled at me for a few hours. The only thing I remember from that was my mom defending me and my step dad calling her a "Mother tiger" and then calling me a fag...

My x-wife found my stash of stuff on more than a few occasions & she never mentioned it once.
Never once wanted to talk about it . Maybe she was just mad that my panties were cuter than
hers.. ;D
We both just kinda pretended it never happened + that carries it's own type of guilt.
Now that we're apart & I live almost full time as a gurl we still can't talk about it..Oh Well!

Got caught in the bathroom with my mothers pantyhose on when i was young.by my father no less .I was scared as hell.They never said anything about it afterward to me.I don't really know how i felt afterward,I think i just tried to get it out of my mind and not remember it.All these years later i still remember vividly.actually the last time i dressed a few days ago i thought about that time being caught.The older i get the more i seem to have these regressions into the past.

Quote

Quote from: Tesseract Allen on April 11, 2011, 02:37:17 AM
When I was twelve I had this red backpack that I kept all the cloths I could nick from my Mom. One day I decided I'd go out to the green belt behind my house and dress up outside for the first time.  My stepdad at the time stopped me at the door and demanded to know what was in the bag to which my only answer was the standard " nothing". He grabbed the backpack by the handle at the top, tore it off me and ripped it open. After that he called my mom home from work and yelled at me for a few hours. The only thing I remember from that was my mom defending me and my step dad calling her a "Mother tiger" and then calling me a fag...

i forgot to say i had a similar experience with a cardboard box.my mother asked me questions about what was in it.I said the standard nothing.but i know she knew.It hurts me that they called you a fag.I think years ago this was the only word people knew

  It dosent make me feel bad or foolish.  I have been caught a couple of times.  Once when I was 16, my mother went into my closet where I had thrown a yellow long slik night gown of my grandemothers.  She called me to my room, lifted up the gown and wanted to know why it was in my closet?  when I told her that i had worn it the night before, she wanted to know what was wrong with me and if I need to see a physchologist?  she was not happy.
       I started dressing in earnest at 50 and since then my wife has caught me with lingerie and even sometimes wearing panties or a slip or both and not being supportive in anyway but against it, she was hurt and mad at the same time.  That has happened a few times.  last time about 3 weeks ago.  We are ok now, but cant ever get caught by me wife ever again.  However!  I have some friends I work with and have told them that I was a crossdresser and have on numerous occassions, underdressed completely while at work with them knowing.  I work on a military base and most my co workers are retired military as I am.  I even one hot summer afternoon at work, while working on a manuever firing range asked my friend if he would mind if I took off my t-shirt(I had on a black camisol on under the t-shirt and he knew it) he said he didnt care, so I did.  I remembered about 10min later about tan lines so I put my t-shirt back on so I wouldnt get any,and not because it bother him.  My brother knows, my youngest son and his wife know and before she passed away, my mother knew.  None of them care.  Of course, I never dress in front of any of them outwardly, but do so underdressed.

I got caught in ninth grade, we had my friend staying over for a week'while his mom was out of town. The day he went home I waited like five minutes and got dressed up. Apparently. He forgot something and came back.  I tried to hide but it didnt work, he laughed and laughed and I felt horrible.  He promisednot to tell, but lied.  Fortunately people didn't believe him the friendship was over though. 

My aunt came over one day in the summer to clean our house on a day I wasn't expecting her and nearly caught me (dress, slip, panties etc) I stripped down and found some shorts to wear.  I had to hide so much stuff I didn't get it all back and mom'wondered where her things went.  Then was quite surprised to have it back the next day.  She thought the neigjbor girl was trying her things on, lol

Dad caught me with pantuhose once... wasn't a huge deal, just embarassing. 

Getting caught made me despise myself more.  I made promises and deals with god to help me stop and become 'normal. I got good at hiding, putting things back, and not getting caught.

When I was 10 i was caught by my parents, They would go to the grocery store every Saturday morning and they would be gone about 2 hours well they came back early, I was caught my father said that i was sick in the head and he made my walk around the block dressed in a blue skirt and nylons and a white top. I was so humilitated that it took me almost 10 years before i dressed again, and i am still afraid to go out in public dressed.

I just love the feel of stockings/pantyhose.. I would wear them at times, even once to the hellfire club in sydney, where I was not so much caught but confessed to a close female friend... "oohhh you kinky devil was te reply"... Then a few years later I started wearing an exes (not at the time) snug tight dresses, and it felt great!! Why is it that men clothing is texturally plain and boring, and women have 1001 textures to tingle the senses.. silk, satin, lace, nylons, gause, etc...

I was almost sprung once when my partner was out with the girls, I was enjoying a dress up session, and she'd forgotten something, I hear a key in the door, and quickly throw a blanket over me... It wasn't my gf but a friend of ours who walked in to get the 'thing'...
Story is the 'friend' caught me masturbating.. ironically knowing her she would have been more acctepting of the truth...
In a way it was kinda thriling...

Now my gf has been in hospital for the last month, and I have bought some wicked skirts, shoes and items to wear I know the sensuality of wearing these things means I will keep it up, but how to tell someone you love so much that it doesn't change things between us?! (she know i've 'dabbled' in the past but doesnt like it)

She wears jeans, tshirts and cardies... One of us has to have a feminine wardrobe damn it!!!
Why can she crossdress and I can't..lol

I.. xo

hI ALL AGAIN, IN THIS THREAD,

I felt like being caught last week, but when i went out, maybe it doesnt apply to what we were talking in the main topic as, "being really caught"

what happened is that for the second time we got to go heeling in the Shanghai city me and my friend Stephanie, after matching our schedules again with our business trips, so we could arrange a second makeover in the studio we went last time.

this time my look was a business/secretary look, and stephanie did a nice flower dress, we were taken by the professionals to shut pics and being dolled up to the least minimum detail,

I am sure that if we were in the US or Europe the way we were make up and dressed we were perfectly passing,
The reason i am posting this adventure here in this thread is because i think that for the people around in the street we were two giant foreigners with many masculine movements maybe, i still need to take a film of my self when walking around, or how to move the arms or the over all positions etc,

I felt everybody's eyes  and we were the focus of attention, i want to say it was because we were beautifully arranged and make up, but i sincerely think that is because the locals got we were two guys crossdressing.

so because we exposed ourselves out try to pass, we got caught anyways. The feeling of terror disappeared and the feeling of challenge gets stronger, willing to arrange better every time til, the tday people wont pay attention to me the way i being looked.

I've been caught twice, once by my dad and then ended up being hell >.< and once by my mom who is cool and accepting of everything ^.^

I was never caught crossdressing, but my stash of clothes was discovered on many occasions when I was  a teen.

Generally speaking, I am happy and positive person. I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world, one who loves my crossdressing, CDs as a guy for me for our 'fun',  shares my love of movies, old time radio, and music.

But that happiness is tempered with a longing sadness inside, because it also invokes some of the saddest things in my life. I think that its because, for the first time in my life I am accepted and loved for being me, just the way I am, and with that comes a confirmed feeling that I am normal, and in fact quite lovable. So why am I sad at times. Well, its because I feel like I've lived the better part of my crossdressing life being deceived by those who put me down, by those who told me that I was sick.

When I first began crossdressing it was so very innocent. There was no sexual aspect to it. When I put on my first pair of panties and my first training bra I felt like I had arrived, like I had given life to the girl within. And oh how I loved that fact that I was her. Everything felt right. Those next few months where so wonderful. I felt such a warmth and happiness inside. I call them my 'halcyon' days. I ride my bike out to W T Grants, buy a new training bra and some panties, ride out to a lake and sit under a tree and watch the ducks, and think about how great it was to be a girl. I was a really introspective kid. I had no real friends, so I stayed to myself. I was never in any trouble and always got straight A's in school -- well except for gym class where I got a C.

And then it happened. When my mum found out and emotionally abused me, I suddenly felt very dirty. The world was no longer all soft fuzzy bunnies, but became a harsh and hate-filled place. At times it still feels that way. My grades slipped. By the time I was in grade 12, I was all Bs except for that infernal gym grade of C.

I don't feel like I changed, but apparently the kids in school saw something in me, because I was taunted and called 'fatty fag'. I worked for a summer as a caddy at a country club where a very well known professional golfer was the club pro. The kids there taunted me and picked me up spreadeagled, pulled my legs apart, and rammed me between my legs into the basketball hoop pole. As I crumbled to the ground they laughed and asked 'what's the matter girl, did we hurt your c**t'. All the while my employer laughed saying 'boys will be boys'.

I constantly dodged accusations of being gay at home. And hell, if I read Penthouse or Playboy, it was only because, 'you probably want to be one of those girls'.

Life was so stupid. I had a psychedelic light in my bedroom that I'd turn on when I sat and listened to records. My mum destroyed because she said it encouraged my dressing up. Yeah right!

Fast forward -- I'm an alcoholic -- in recovery 23 years -- last drink 10 PM 19 October 1988! Why did I abuse booze -- denial of the girl within! I was taught that she was to be hated, that she was sick. It took every bit of strength I could muster to break the chain of addiction, and to seek self-forgiveness for my drinking -- forgiveness from the girl-within.

What does all this mean and why am I sad.. Well, I guess its because I feel like my innocence was ripped from me at time when I so filled with happiness. I hate that fact that I was made to feel all dirty. I hate the fact that I spent so manny years filled with self-hatred that just chewed me up inside.

And now here I am .. totally loved. It feels so good. But why do I feel like I give anything to go back to those 3 months in 1971 when it was all shiny and new and clean to experience that joy once again. Why do I feel like that would heal me and enable me to go on being not only a better crossdresser, but a better husband and a better person.

I wish I knew the answers. I wish I could feel clean again.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

Quote from: cdalyssa on October 14, 2010, 04:43:05 PM
I started experimenting when I was about 9, by wearing my mothers clothes(no sister only an older brother). I enjoyed dressing up in her bras, dresses, pantyhose and heels, but always felt disappointed that I could never complete the look with make-up. After a year of closeted dressing and sure no one knew, because it was never discussed, I was stunned that when Halloween was approaching and I was deciding on a costume, my mother suggested I go as a girl. Even though I was 10, I did have a guilty conscience, so I was sure my mom knew something and was testing me. So, I did the typical thing and acted disgusted with the idea, thinking she would reveal that she knew my secret and confront me. She didn't. My mom used to make our costumes, so we always had our costumes picked out by mid September so she could make them. This talk happened in August. Well, after my refusal, I was dying inside wanting to accept my mom's suggestion, but scared that if I did my secret would be out.

Well, at this time my best friend was a girl who lived next door. One day we got to talking about Halloween and what we should go as. We always trick or treated together. I said I was undecided and she said she was going to go as a boy. She then said, "since we always T or T together, wouldn't  it be cool if you went as a girl. We could pretend to be dating or something." I replied with "are you serious?" However, I knew that's exactly what we would do. I now had a way to accept my mom's suggestion without accepting it. So, I got the courage and told my mom that I would dress up as a girl, since my friend was going as a boy.

That Halloween, was the best ever. I got to indulge my secret in full view of everyone, without them knowing how much I was loving it. My mom obviously did my make-up, what she didn't know was that after she was done, I went to my room and wrote down the name of everything she used. I never wore make-up until that day, so I had no clue what eye shadow or blush or foundation was. I wore a white blouse with big ribbons that needed tying at the collar, a gray skirt, with blue tights and black ballet shoes, oh yeah and a ladies fedora. The clothes were borrowed from my older cousin who out grew them. The only thing bought was a training bra, which we stuffed with tissues. I ended up keeping the clothes even after Halloween. I remember my mom washing them and throwing them in a garbage bag with other clothes she was going to donate, since my Aunt said she didn't need the clothes back. I was tired of wearing my mom's clothes that never fit and the fear of her finally noticing clothes are misplaced, so I decided to take the clothes out of the donation pile. I hid them in the gym back that I kept my soccer equipment in. I was always nervous she'd notice the clothes missing from the bag, but she never did. I was always woke up early, so knowing that, each night I would go to bed in my Halloween costume.

The next time I feared being outed was when I was 15. My parents went to a Christmas party and my brother was supposed to be at a friends house for the weekend. My parents would always call when on their way home, so knew I would have time to change. I had the house to myself, and did what I always did, got dressed. By this point I was back to wearing my mom's clothes because I had out grown my Halloween costume and never considered buying clothes. Anyways, I was all dressed up(minus make-up, only attempted make-up once after Halloween, found it too difficult and time consuming). I was wearing a bra with matching panties, white cocktail dress, white hose, with white ankle high boots with 3" heels. I had longish hair, so I styled it as much as I could to look feminine. I was in pure heaven for about 2 hours, until it almost turned in to hell. Not expecting anyone home for another hour or so, I was frozen with panic when I heard the door that lead to the garage open. I had nowhere to hide and only seconds until the person would walk into the family room and see me as Alyssa. My reaction, I grabbed the blanket that was on the couch and covered myself. Just as I did my brother walked into the room. He questioned why I was covered up since I was sweating and the house was warm. I lied and said I felt sick and questioned why he was home. He forgot a piece of hockey equipment he was going to need the next day. He got what he needed and left again. Once he left I decided to get undressed because my parents could be home soon. Which was the case. I was just opening the door to my parent's room to get undressed when I heard my dad announce they were home. I changed direction and headed to the hallway bathroom. I was able to get undressed and back into my own clothes without any further incident. The only problem was that it took another day for me to have the time to return the clothes to my mom's closet.

It was the Internet that got me busted. Because of circumstances, I attended a local college and to save money stayed with my parents.  I had pretty much stopped dressing after the above scenario. I still had the urges, but felt the consequences were too severe. I grew up having a huge crush on Alyssa Milano(inspiration for my name) from the TV show "Who's The Boss?". Well, one day(I'm 21) a movie channel was showing a movie Alyssa did, where she plays a college student who falls in love with a guy who also happens to be secretly cross dressing as her BFF. Seeing this movie really reignited the "Alyssa" in me. Not feeling comfortable dressing in my mom's clothes anymore, I decided to go online. I had done some very brief CD research online before but never to shop. I found a site that specialized in clothing for cross dressers and with much apprehension, ordered my first outfit. I purchased a sexy navy blue mini-dress, fishnet stockings, a starter's make-up kit and a bra & thong set. The package arrived 2 weeks later. Our family's daily schedule guaranteed that I would be home alone to receive the package no matter what day it arrived. What I didn't consider, happened a week later. After coming home from school my mom said we needed to talk in a very serious tone. I had no idea about what. It turned out, that 2 days after the clothes arrived, my father had gone around the house to collect the garbage and in doing so happened to see the tags that I removed from the clothes in my bedroom garbage, which lead to them finding the clothes in a gym bag in my closet. It had taken my mom 3 days after their discovery to confront me, which she did by having everything I bought displayed on the kitchen table. In total shock I just froze and tried to come up with an explanation. I was still struggling with what I was feeling inside regarding my dressing, so when I unfroze I just revealed everything. I was expecting her to say she suspected something, but this caught her completely off guard. To understand cross dressing better and why I did it, I saw a psychologist for about 18 months. I convinced myself, the shrink and my family(I also told my brother) that it was a phase and that I had gotten it out of my system.

Which I did for about 5+ years. Now, I sleep in a baby doll nightie every night, wear panties and hose under my clothes almost daily, and fully dress about 2-4 times a month when my roommate is gone. To this day my family believes that I stopped over 12 years ago.

I want to finish by saying that I missed this place. I joined last month planning on being a regular contributor, unfortunately life got in the way. Everything is back in order again, so I will be a much more frequent visitor.

I have a new story to tell, and why I haven't posted for so long.

While I was looking forward to 2011 in January, my optimism was short lived. As I expected, with great enthusiasm, my roommate moved in with his GF before the end of January, leaving me alone with the freedom to be "Alyssa" whenever I wanted. Which was a lot.  I enjoyed the freedom of my new living arrangements for the 1st couple of weeks of February, until the saying "be careful what you wish for" never had more meaning.  Late in February my parents, who live 15 minutes away, were having some renovations done on their house, so I decided to let them stay with me for a couple of nights. A big mistake.

I got so used to my freedom during the weeks since my roommate left, that I became a little reckless with my parents around. I figured since this was my apartment, my parents would respect that and not go into my bedroom, so I didn't feel the need to 'hide' my clothes. Well, my parents stay lasted longer than the 2 nights originally planned(5 nights). On the Friday, they went home Saturday, my Mom decided to wash some towels they had used for their showers. The load was small, so she asked me if I had towels to be washed. I said I did. I was cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, so my Mom said she'd get the towels from my room. I was pre-occupied with the kitchen that I didn't think to stop her. Well, she found a lot more than dirty towels when she opened my bedroom door. Wide open was my closet, with my dresses, skirts and blouses taking up half of it in full view. She came into the kitchen with "the look" and I just froze realizing what she had just seen. She said she thought I had stopped "dressing" years ago when I went to therapy. I could do nothing but explain my life since I attended therapy.  Her response was silence for a few minutes, then said that she didn't understand cross dressing and was wondering if me letting her go into my room was a subconscious desire to be discovered in a cry for help. I told her that wasn't the case and I just got used to being alone so it didn't cross my mind to stop her. She said she didn't know what else to say, so she was going to her room to read. As she said this I could sense the disappointment and just let her go to her room.

I couldn't sleep the whole night, feeling every emotion you could imagine; fear, relief, guilt, self pity, anger, sadness. Surprisingly the next day, nothing was said by my mother. She and my Dad just packed up and went home. A week later she finally broached the subject when I stopped by their place to see the renovations. She said that she did some online research and even spoke with a psychiatrist, which did help her understand cross dressing a bit better. She also, said that since I was on my own she knows she can't stop me from continuing with it, but that she doesn't want to see me dressed, so she will be sure to call in advance of any future visits.

I left without really saying anything in response. I could still feel tension and disappointment when I left. Even though my dressing was out in the open to my Mom and Dad (I found out later that she told him everything the night she walked into my room), I just couldn't continue dressing and moved all the clothes into the empty bedroom. That was February, now in August the clothes have slowly returned to my closet since late June when I regained my desire and comfort in expressing my female self. I haven't spoken with my Mom about this since that talk back in Feb. and have never spoken to my Dad, even though we still see each other at least once a week.

It is interesting to me, that in all the times my secret has been discovered and rediscovered, it has never been when I was actually dressed. I sometimes still have fantasies and daydreams about how my parents would react if they ever did see me as "Alyssa."

As you can see I have a new profile picture, which was taken back in Feb before my Mom's discovery. The picture is from a makeover session I treated myself to as a present for my roommate moving out.

When I was much younger I used to dress up in my sisters clothes when my parents went out.

On one occasion something went 'wrong' in that they either came back early or came upstairs and I didn't have time to put the clothes back. I did have time to change out of them though.

I usually tried to hide them behind the wardrobe or under the mattress, but for some reason my mother came in and managed to force me out of the bed and found them.

I then just dived under the covers and forced my hands into my ears really hard so that I couldn't hear what she was saying. She was sat there trying to talk to me but I was just so scared of what she might say that I just curled up and felt shaken.

It's never been mentioned by my family since or after.

I am caught ALL the time! Because I totally suck at passing XD
So people will just assume I'm being a tomboy girl instead of as a male. It's really disheartening because I have such large breasts that even when i wear the binder people say it looks like i have average size breasts (which i may try and pass off as pects ^ ^)
my dad didn't like me wearing mens clothes of any kind! when i was in 7th or 8th grade I wore mens underwear and I felt AWESOME. I got it from when my dad bought these underwear that was too small so he didnt want them. Then he saw my boxers and forbid me from wearing them. He wouldnt even let me wear mens t-shirts. He told me to wear all these girly clothes, so I would just bring a shirt to school in my bag and change before many people saw me.
I feel like an actual transvestite when I wear girly clothes!! Like its not right to my true gender :(
So i feel kind of upset that people dont see me as a male quite yet. Though I did get a "Sir" once, in a dark restaurant :D

I was caught by my sister.  When I was about 12 years and was off school ill she came home and found me in her bra and nightie.  She told my mother who didn't believe her.  I just denied the whole thing and got away with it, boy was I scared.  But in a way I wished she had believed her, I would have loved it if my mother had bought me a training bra, let  me sleep in a nightie and let me dress as a girl.  When I 14 my father caught in my sisters bra and told me if he caught me again he'd send me to see a shrink, whilst a couple of years later my mother found one if my bras and she thought it was my sisters.

Because of fear I've had to keep my crossdressing hidden, my parents basically know but its something which we've never talked about.  It's a pity because I've often wished that my mother or sister had bought an item of female clothing or underwear, that either had taken me out shopping for a new bra, that either would be clearing out their wardrobe and would give me a dress, a blouse or skirt they no longer wanted.  I've a female name and I'd loved to be called it by my parents and by my siblings.

 ::)Yes Funny question Because it was yesterday that I got cought for the FIRST time by the X-ray teck hahahaha at Kaiser... >:-)
Who gives a Flying F****
Love U all
Peace out >^o^< The Little goth Girl Said

Quote from: Judith on October 16, 2011, 04:16:45 AM
I was caught by my sister.  When I was about 12 years and was off school ill she came home and found me in her bra and nightie.  She told my mother who didn't believe her.  I just denied the whole thing and got away with it, boy was I scared.  But in a way I wished she had believed her, I would have loved it if my mother had bought me a training bra, let  me sleep in a nightie and let me dress as a girl.  When I 14 my father caught in my sisters bra and told me if he caught me again he'd send me to see a shrink, whilst a couple of years later my mother found one if my bras and she thought it was my sisters.

Because of fear I've had to keep my crossdressing hidden, my parents basically know but its something which we've never talked about.  It's a pity because I've often wished that my mother or sister had bought an item of female clothing or underwear, that either had taken me out shopping for a new bra, that either would be clearing out their wardrobe and would give me a dress, a blouse or skirt they no longer wanted.  I've a female name and I'd loved to be called it by my parents and by my siblings.

Yes. It seems that most parents scold their kids for crossdressing. In my case, it was actualy when I was 4 or 5 years old. At night, when everybody was asleep, I tried to wear the silk stockings a lady left around me. I was just attracted to it. My mother woke up, but she just helped me wear it. Disappointedly, the stockings were too big for my little legs. That was not I expected  ;)

Barbie~~

haha....one time I didnt get all my eyeliner and mascara off and got asked if I was wearing it, def an awkward position

[ftm] i've always been a big tomboy and 85% of my cloths were all boys when i was younger, but i was caught by my (step) brother once. i binded my chest, put on baggy guy cloths, put my hair up into a wig w/a hat and i even borrowed a pair of my brothers boxers. one day he came home from work early and i didn't hear him come in as stood in the bathroom taking pics and talking to my mirror like the weirdo i am  ;). he came up stairs to see me in there and he looked at me and didn't realize it was me at first. he started freaking out and so did i cause i didn't want him to tell my mom or his dad cause i knew they'd flip, so i reassured him it was me as i brought my vocal tone back to the one he was used to. he knew i crossed when i was alone so he was ok w/it, but when i went to go in my room alone to myself he saw my pants sagging a bit and pulled them all the way down revealing his large boxers. he flipped and chased my around the house until he caught me and noogied me. i thought he was gonna rip them off me but he just laughed at me and said to just wash them when i was done and to ask next time.          :)     

I haven't been here much for a while.  My biggest wish is just to figure myself out.

These days it feels like getting caught every time I'm in public.  I sometimes wonder if my gender is genetically unique.  No adam's apple and there are other physical things.  Hopefully this isn't TMI, but I really don't have a "package".  When I wear something too tight, i have camel toe, and, no, I don't tuck or whatever it's called.

Lately my breasts have been growing.  I'm about a small C cup, and I'd like to start wearing a bra to settle the jiggle down.  My front is in constant, subtle motion when I walk, and that makes me feel like I'm getting caught everywhere I go.  It's hard to get used to, but the funny thing is I wish I could grow a little more.  I don't know what people think, but there isn't much I can do about it.

Lots of odd sensations, too.  If I hold my breasts and lean to one side, they sway.  If I reach across my chest I feel a pressure against my upper arm that wasn't there before, and the edge of the seat belt can hurt.

Mostly I'd just like to know what I am.  I don't feel crazy, but this isn't exactly the life the Marlboro Man lived.

Never been caught, dont know if i want to be caught... Always thort of a new life but then again nothing is clear. Would love the chance to talk to someone just in general as I'm fed up of feeling alone.

Sorry don't know the right place for this and this is my first post.

Quote from: Mattie1207 on November 05, 2011, 11:32:48 PM
Never been caught, dont know if i want to be caught... Always thort of a new life but then again nothing is clear. Would love the chance to talk to someone just in general as I'm fed up of feeling alone.

Sorry don't know the right place for this and this is my first post.

Hi Mattie, probably the best place to start is the introductions area :)  If you are looking for real time general chat, there is a chat server that I found very supportive. 

As for being caught, only when I was very young.  I learned very quickly that it wasn't acceptable behavior to dress how I felt.  Since then I have become VERY good at being sneaky.

I haven't been caught yet, came close a few times though. My cousin nearly caught me on Thursday, i had to make an excuse to leave before letting him in ! lol My mum found female underwear in amongst my washing when i lived with her a few times, i just said they must have been one of my sisters and she never questioned me about it any further. But she also tells me when i was between 4 and 7 she used to dress me in my sisters dresses because i couldn't understand how all my sisters were in dresses etc and i was in boys clothes !? So you see i have always felt this way... i think when i do finally tell my mum whats going on with me she will understand and be supportive. My dad never would have, but he died years ago, ever since i have had these urges to be more and more girlie ? I don't think it would be all that bad to be caught.... at least you wouldn't feel weird just coming out and saying it, i think it would be easier to be caught ?

It was a few years ago,when my ex wife invited her sister to  stay at our house.I was happy to help,as she was evicted due to her former housemates behaviour. my wife was of a larger frame and tended to wear knitted "granny tops" which suited her just fine....but her sister worked part time for a local topless bar.She was a small pettite size 10/12 (au size).After a few months had passed she asked when i was going to do another shed cleanout as she had some junk to go. i suggested for her to just leave wht she wanted to throw out in her room when she left.

Well...what a find!..skirts, mini shorts, surfwear, bikinis! i packed them all away in my shed and found myself going out and trying them all on for size fit comfort etc.bonus again!

Skip a few years...

Now... im separatd i can walk around my house in anything i want.

Skip a few months..... and ive found a girl.

We had been going out for a few months when she found one of these items of clothing in the spare room. she asked the obvious and  felt my face heat up,how embarrassing,however when she found the roxy shorts  gave the excuse that i needed to wear girls pants as the waist size fits better for my leg length.she said something like "oh ok"The with that she asked what else i had "in my stash?"

I showed her a few and since then got more comfortable with wearing anything girly round the house.She packed a few items she bought me from VS last trip we went on and was happy for me to wear my racer back Tee dress out.Just a nerves tester for my first public appearance, over my jeans.

She once packed a Tee dress she had bought for me for a visit to her mums place,and her mum came out from the spare room at her house holding it up saying "Whos is this?" To save embarrassment  my girlfriend said that she packed it accidentally,it was a birthday pressie for her friend.Very smooth THANKS BABY! :D

My girl is a psych nurse and shes happy for me to wear what I want and im getting more game out of the house.

I was caught cross-dressing last year at school. I was in Art and I happened to have the bad luck of my shirt going up all day and one of my close friends saw the g string i was wearing. After class he came upto me and told me he didnt wanna be my friend so that made me feel crappy, since then i haven't been caught that i know of because noone has said anything.

Jake AKA Deyndline

What's wrong with wearing a G string? Lots of G guys do.
Go to any male strip club,

Cindy

Hello,

I was home alone and was sitting at the computer in a matching bra and panties. My younger son had come into the house ( I had not heard him). Next he came into my room and walked in. He took one look and walked back out. I got dressed and went out to see him but he has never said anything.


Gneena
(o)(op)

    when i was younger i used to dress in my moms clothes  i would put them away in the right spots before anyone got home or notice.   one day my mom caught me in her clothes. she yelled at me for a wile telling me its wrong and she better no catch me aging.
i did it a couple more times after that was never caught but my mom was suspicious of me.

     later on  in life i started  to dress in my stepsister clothes  when no one was home at my dads house
until one day she caught me i was scared that she was going to tell my dad and call me a freak.
actually though she was calm  and told me if i ever wanted to browow her clothes all i had to do was ask. it was a great relief and i was happy. 

in my highschool years i got a little braver  started buying my own women  clothes  at deptstores by me. i don't know if i would count it as being caught since  i stared not caring  and would something wear the clothes to school. 

Go to any male strip club,
Really?  Is that our standard now?  Wow.  Strip clubs. 

Though I will say that its' a night and day difference between male strip clubs (with men stripping for woman) and female strip clubs (with women stripping for men).  The performances are much better and more animated, the audience is much more jacked (really, if guys ever acted like that for even a split-second at the Crazy Horse^* they would be 86ed), the music is better, everything about it is better except for the fact that I'm not that into naked guys.

i don't know if i would count it as being caught
Nope, you can't 'get caught' doing something in public that everyone knows about.  You only get caught when you're trying to be sneaky.


* - it's the club next door to where I work - so the 'girls next door' are really are hookers and strippers and porn queens.  Nice.  The Crazy Horse is endorsed by Nina Hartley, old Anal Annie herself, you you know its' some nasty stuff.  And no, I've never been in.

When my dad saw my dress, he said I might as well had gone out and gotten stoned or drunk.... and I'm the only one of my brothers who hasn't done drugs or alcohol :D

For some reason I wanted to get caught! When's I was around 10 yrs old or so I had some of my moms panties and a few bras under my bed and I pulled out to where they would be noticable. She did them and confronted me about it. She said that I was a boy and not a girl so I should stop wearing her clothes. Then again when I was about 15 yrs old I got the urge to ask my mom if I could wear one of her bras. She said and that if I had one on that id better go take it off. I wasn't wearing one but acted like I was going to her room to take one off. I opened her underwear drawer and closed it then went back to what I was doing. Later that week she took me to a counselor and had me talk to him. I am 24 now and I am dressed up while I am writing this. I have no intention of stoping and my wife enjoys it to!

Back about the mid 1950's when I was about 15, I sneaked one of my sisters halter tops and was walking around in my bedroom just before going to sleep. The floor boards squeaked & it brought my Dad up to see what was going on. He saw me in the top. My heart was racing and I was frightened. I think he was too stunned to know what to make of this and firmly said to take it off and go to sleep. We never spoke about this again. After my Dad passed away in 1990, I was going through his papers and found a note addressed to no one about this night, I don't remember exactly what he wrote, but I think for the era he was confused, wondered if he had failed me and didn't know how to understand or deal with the situation.

Jamie

got caught wearing panties when my shorts were to low by my sister

I have been nearly caught once or twice it made me feel scared ,but i still do it,i like wearing sexy panties and tights,i just feel more comfortable in them than traditional men s clothing,after all i am not hurting any one.

i have tried to discuss this with my family but they did not want to listen and belittled me ,made me feel like a kid so i have not spoke about it again :( :(

I have been caught out at work wearing women's underwear,but it makes me feel excited and scared all at the same time,i feel more comfortable in women's under wear than in men's


                                                         :(

Quote from: jenny on April 29, 2012, 07:37:26 AM
i have tried to discuss this with my family but they did not want to listen and belittled me ,made me feel like a kid so i have not spoke about it again :( :(

Welcome here.

In my opinion, you may not need to discuss or justify your feeling. Usually I do not try to justify my wearing my preferred fashion items. Just do it.

Barbie~~

i got caught out when my mother cleaned my room.
my parents wanted me to explain myself .
i didnt say a word because its hard to say that i wanted to be a girl.
we had a ladies and girls clothes shop ,so it was easy to get everything i needed.
i love it to this day ;)
KIKI

That pink is ruining me eyes!

I have been caught so many times I have lost count. It made me feel a little more open to the world each time.

I've never been caught. Even if I was caught, I've already told my Mom about it, just never done it outside of my own room.
Last night I was almost seen, walking in the kitchen. I never ran so quietly and quickly in my life.

I was caught first by my sister when I was a child, I just argued I want to see how I look, like how she wear men's tshirt and pants, lol.

Later around my final year in high school, my mom caught me, wearing a saree. Actually I ran and hid, but I forgot to remove bindi when I came out, :P Mom, then asked me to dress up again, i did a partially good job not to reveal how good I normally do.

Then now all my family knows, I live alone in a different place, but future is unknown.

ive only gotten caught once when I was around 10yrs old by my mom. She got so mad and yelled at me which made me cry for hours :( the following day she took me to a psychiatrist at our church. Shes been suspicious of me ever since and im 24 now. Im sure she will have a heart attack or something if I was caught again. So far not a single family member knows *sigh

Got caught as a teenager wearing a garter belt and stockings to bed by my dad.  he saw I was hiding something under the covers and was playing around trying to find it.  He grabbed a garter and started pulling, it was attached to me.  Never saw it but dropped it right there.  I was panicing.  Some time later Mom found my stash and confronted me, all I could say is don't tell Dad.

Since then only doctors have caught me but no big deal.  Introduced my wife to it while dating.

Once I thought I caught both my parents crossdressing at the same time, but then I realized they had just switched seats  ;)


I never got caught, but there were a few close calls. A roommate of mine almost caught me once.


The one incident that stand out the most in my mind was when I was 16 and I was home alone and crossdressing. I remember sitting in the living room crying hoping they would come through the door and catch me, but they didn't. In hind sight I really shouldn't have brushed that so easily afterwards.

That reminds me I almost got caught dolled up in lingerie.  My college roommate was out with his girlfriend and I thought I was alone for hours.  About a half hour after they left I heard keys in the lock and the door opening.  I made the fastest 10 yard dash in history to my room.  Boy that would have been interesting!

  My mom caught me in bed one night in one of her slips around age 9.  She had a talk with me and thought it was a phase.  I though that I was going to be put away to the asylum.  Threatened to be put away or being left at the orphanage was the "Boogie Man" in those days to keep children in line.  She did put me in a dress, despite my weak protest, for Halloween once.  I did make a haul that night. 
  Joelene

I was 16, when i decided to suntan a little in my favorite pair of underwear. It was the first time I had ever went outside wearing fem atire, I lived in the country and had the house to myself. I did my makeup as well, so there i was outside topless in a g-string with make up laying on the patio basking in the sun feeling really good. Then I heard a car pull in the driveway, it was my mother.... I ran to the washroom and started the shower and tried to wash off the makeup in my haste i forgot to get a towel before heanding in also didn't have any cloths ... sooo she was now at the washroom door asking me why i was home and why i was in the shower I just gave her a lame answer she didn't by it she must have known something was up she waited down the hallway and when i opened the door to grab a towel across the way she said nice tan lines and why did you ruin my lipstick ouch ..I was crying at this point and scared and humiliated, i ran to my bedroom and put on my mens cloths and was ready to leave and never come back, angry and disoriented I made my way to the front door when she stopped me and said calm down ... She said she was sorry for saying those things and had no idea i was having these problems .... anyway long story short it was along time before my mother and I could have a normal conversation she just assumed it was a phase but here i am 15yrs later still ruining my lipstick lol

Quote from: Julia1981 on October 12, 2012, 10:38:52 AM
I was 16, when i decided to suntan a little in my favorite pair of underwear. It was the first time I had ever went outside wearing fem atire, I lived in the country and had the house to myself. I did my makeup as well, so there i was outside topless in a g-string with make up laying on the patio basking in the sun feeling really good. Then I heard a car pull in the driveway, it was my mother.... I ran to the washroom and started the shower and tried to wash off the makeup in my haste i forgot to get a towel before heanding in also didn't have any cloths ... sooo she was now at the washroom door asking me why i was home and why i was in the shower I just gave her a lame answer she didn't by it she must have known something was up she waited down the hallway and when i opened the door to grab a towel across the way she said nice tan lines and why did you ruin my lipstick ouch ..I was crying at this point and scared and humiliated, i ran to my bedroom and put on my mens cloths and was ready to leave and never come back, angry and disoriented I made my way to the front door when she stopped me and said calm down ... She said she was sorry for saying those things and had no idea i was having these problems .... anyway long story short it was along time before my mother and I could have a normal conversation she just assumed it was a phase but here i am 15yrs later still ruining my lipstick lol

Childhood memory.

When I was about 4 years old, I tried to put on silk stockings which a lady left at the room at mid night when everybody was sleeping. My mother also woke up, helping me put on it. I still do not know why I did it, but I remember that I just wanted it and expected that it would fit to my legs. Disappointedly, my legs were too small for wearing it.

My mother used to say that I would be beautiful if I were born woman, and that I would have better be born a woman whereas my sister a man.

Barbie~~

Wow, a lot of supportive wives, amazing.

I first started dressing when I was 5 out of curiosity I guess, my Mom caught me wearing a pair of her panties.  She told me that I couldn't be doing that, took them off me and put my little boy undies back on me.  Nothing was ever said.  A few years ago, my wife came home earlier than expected, I was dressed up a good bit but I ran and hid in the bathroom, she left again.  She knew I was up to something but didn't exactly know what, then sometime later she found pictures I had taken of myself... the gig was up then.  She hasn't been supportive and she makes very harsh comments about it, even now that we're in the middle of a divorce.

So I envy the ones with supportive SO's, that's really nice to have.  Thankfully I came out to my Mom about my dressing and she's been supportive.

I'm not sure if this counts as being caught, but sometime when I was 5 or so. My sister and her childhood friend at the time kinda used me as a sort of dress-up doll. I was unsure of how to take it at the time, more annoyed than embarrassed if that makes much sense. (Kinda led to them trapping me in this crawlspace inside a dresser with a few of their drawers removed.) Time went on and they kinda eased off from doing that to me. Over time, I guess that's what kinda got me into it after I started considering it as fun and enjoyable.

I didn't really try again until sometime after I turned... 15 I think. Stole some of my mother's panties to try it out and see how it felt. It felt a lot more normal than my uncomfortable undershorts. Comfortable, slimming, just... Right, I don't know how to explain it really. I loved it. And it kinda went on like that with a few close calls. God only knows why she felt a need to rummage through my drawers one day and silently take back the one pair I had. I was worried for the longest time that she thought I was some weird pervert because of that... Wonderful, ugly stereo type crossdressing males get. The male's the pervert if he's wearing another woman's underwear... I can't confirm if she's thought that though... Some couple of years later on, I bought myself a pair of striped thigh highs. Really comfy socks. They came marked by logo in the mail and sure enough, she had to be the one to fetch the mail that afternoon while I had a couple of friends over. I tried playing it off like it was a mistake or something made in someone's addressing information. She asked if she could have them and then I panicked and explained shamefully how I wanted them. She didn't give me any difficulty over it, but I guess that's the closest experiences I've had with being caught with crossdressing.

Nowadays, living with my boyfriend, I do so on an occasion at our choice. We're rather happy, especially after I had came out to my folks about my life with my boyfriend and the gender dysphoria I have. Dunno how crossdressing's gonna work out now that my boyfriend and I are moving in with my folks in a few months, but I think it'll be okay. We'll see.

Yep I was playing on the PlayStation with my sister and my jeans slipped showing my underwear
My sis looks at me and started to ask question within minutes my mum tryed to see it

Not a good experience for me but as I do not know anyone here I am OK to talk about stuff like this

I feel like I should use a fake name just in case I get found out even this I came out four times now 10 - 15 years on and I'm still hiding

I like many of you were caught many times but not with her clothes but with my cousins clothes. I had 5 girl cousins who lived very close to us and I use to spend a lot of time at there house. A lot of over nighters and sometimes I had no clothes with me so on those nights I would wear one of the girls clothes. My one cousin was a bed wetter and wore night time diapers so there was always diapers there for me. I was alway in heaven at my aunts home. I would steal the girls clothes and take them to my house to wear at night or when my mother and father were not around. My mother caught me one night and acted like it was noughting to it and when my father came in drunk she told him your 11 year old is up stair all dressed in pink girls clothes. He came up the stairs running with his belt off and ready. He ripped the sheets back and beat the hell out of me calling me names. Did that stop me no I did it many more times and would not stop no matter what they did to me.

I have not been caught crossdressing yet because I told my wife of my desires before I acted them out. When I was very young, around 5, I decided I liked women's underwear. I have envied women with their beauty and clothing. But I did not let myself enjoy that through the years even though I always felt that way. Finally 2 years ago I decided to buy some women's underwear and lingerie. I did not hide it from my wife and told her I was going to buy some women's underclothing for myself. She does not like it. We went to a counselor together. I explained I am not interested in men, I love women and she has nothing to worry about. So I keep some pretty things for myself that I wear in private and I do not parade myself in front of my wife while wearing those things, but I do sleep in panties with her. She is okay with that. I shave most of my body hair and I take some phytoestrogens because they make me feel feminine mentally and have changed my body a little bit. Making my skin softer and making my body a little curvier in the right places. They are not strong enough to make me into a woman, at least not in the short term. So I am finding a balance for myself. In public I am a man. With my wife I am a man. But in private for myself I am both a man and a woman. Sometimes I wear my panties all day, even at work. Nobody knows but me. I find it enjoyable.

I have confessed everything to my wife. She knows this has been an ongoing issue since my childhood. Even though she says she is OK with it she still looks at me differently when I am being the real me. I can't go public with it due to issues with kids and job. I feel so very alone and separated. I love the fact that I finally have the confidence to at least be me under my man suit but I have to live reserved. I have no friends that would be OK with the truth if they knew. I am scared to death.

I had a long term girlfriend who eventually figured it out somehow way before I knew in my head that I needed to transition and she to be honest sort of freaked out on me. Ultimately that relationship went downhill and ended badly and after several months of thought and talking to my psychologist I figured out what my heart always knew, which was that I was female. Other then that, my parents never had any clue but I remember some scary calls but I always managed to avoid detection back then haha.

I have been caught wearing make up many times , I just say that I had been to a fancy dress party. I did get seen by the lady over the back fence some years back. That was not good! She told everyone she could, and I live and grew up in a small rough mining town, where everyone thinks they know everything about you! I was a single dad at the time, and I know it impacted on my oldest son by being bullied.
For me it didn't matter as I know how to fight, as this town loves to fight, lucky I'm 6 foot and strong, but for my son I feel real bad for, as he got bashed and teased, cause they all think that I am homosexual! I don't see myself as homosexual, I see myself as a Lesbian, as I love women! I am male by birth but female at heart, so by being a Lesbian am I normal to the crazy world?????? just a random thought.
 

When I was in my early teens (13 or 14 ) I was caught by my mom sleeping in one of her old discarded night gowns. We had just moved and she was sorting the things she was going to toss out. My parents went out to eat or something, I stayed home to look through what she was throwing away.  I found the night gown and took it to my room. That night I decided to sleep in it.  I over slept the next morning so my mom came to wake me up.  All she said was "Thats mine if you want to sleep in something like this get your own."  And that was it never heard another word about it.

I felt embarrassed but god did it feel so good sleeping in it.

Hugs
Bethany

funny you should ask.  I have been with my wife over 25 years and just Saturday she caught me dressed.  She knows that I dress but does not accept Vicki.  I was shocked that she was home so early from mher trip.  All she said was she did not like the blouse I was wearing and left my office. 

She does not talk much and nothing has been said since then about the insident.  I feel somewhat worried as to what she feels.  I am not ashamed as I accept Vicki and it is her that is writing this note.  I am wearing a different blouse.

I went to work one morning and was talking to another staff member about some problems she was having with another staff member calling her him, upsetting to a Transexual who is post op. I was working in the Disability industry at the time and I said that I understood how she was feeling. The staff member looked up and gave me a smile. When the next staff member arrived she point out to me that I still had bright pink lip liner on! Embarrassed no, didn't care really and this was before anyone knew I was a crossdresser. The staff member who pointed out the lip liner is now my wife, so she has known since before we started to see each other, that I was a crossdresser.

Quote from: KaylaW on December 07, 2012, 12:34:31 AM
Wow, a lot of supportive wives, amazing.

I first started dressing when I was 5 out of curiosity I guess, my Mom caught me wearing a pair of her panties.  She told me that I couldn't be doing that, took them off me and put my little boy undies back on me.  Nothing was ever said.  A few years ago, my wife came home earlier than expected, I was dressed up a good bit but I ran and hid in the bathroom, she left again.  She knew I was up to something but didn't exactly know what, then sometime later she found pictures I had taken of myself... the gig was up then.  She hasn't been supportive and she makes very harsh comments about it, even now that we're in the middle of a divorce.

So I envy the ones with supportive SO's, that's really nice to have.  Thankfully I came out to my Mom about my dressing and she's been supportive.

I'm sure someone else has noticed, in general I've found that women tend to be less hung up on crossdressing (either way) then men/boys.  I think it goes back to the societal "fear" of femininity in men - it's viewed as a weakness in men.

I've done the outing twice, on halloween about 10 years ago.  Once was with my ultra-conservative mother, the other was with a bunch of friends.

More recently, I was visiting/shopping at a store I used to work at. I was wearing my black ruffled coat, big girly sunnies and my girl jeans. A guy I worked with came up to me and said "Steve! You look every bit a diva!"

Made me feel great!

yes I have been caught crossdressing,it was embassing at  first but the guy bragged  have good i looked,I was soo happy it made me  feel like the girl I am

Well, till now I have not been caught. I wear my girls undies when I am alone at home. Sometimes I feel low I can't have girls clothing as I live with my family but because of fear of getting caught I have not purchased any girlie clothes except my underwear. On occasion I wear my sister's clothes, and wash and put them as they were. No one has ever knew about it. I do cross-dressing only when I am absolutely sure that no one will be at home for next 24 hours. Sometimes I feel low I can't have all the beautiful dresses and make up kits.

That's awesome. I hear you about the thrill of it all. I was dressed up and went into a store of the company I work for. I thought all was cool ad it wasn't my home location. But when I started to look around, I saw 15 or so guys I have worked alongside for years! They are a group of merchandisers for the company and they just happened to be in that store, that day. I freaked for a split second, but I then decided to use the computer terminal right next to one of them, a former manager of mine. He looked right at me and went back to work.

I thought fo sho I was busted.  :police:

That is so funny & so long ago. I loved to play dress up with all my mothers clothes, shoes, makeup, nail polish, etc..... I had fun but my father was not happy when he caught me. It was hard putting things back in the right places. My mother knew & it was no big deal for her.

I have been dressing for many years. I started taking pictures of myself during the film age (never nude or even suggestive). I would bring the rolls to a distant pharmacy and put them in the envelope to be sent out and come back a few days later- completely anonymous.

As my pictures got better I became more eager to get them back. So I would bring them to a one-hour place in the morning and pick them up in the afternoon. Still anonymous. There was one session that I only dressed an didn't do makeup of a wig so I only took pictures from the neck down or I covered my male face. One self-timed picture went off earlier than I thought and caught me full-face. The set was too good to just throw out so I had it developed anyway- again far from home- fake name, anonymous. When I went to pick up the pictures I gave the fake name and the girl went to retrieve the envelope with the pics. While thumbing through the box, she quietly called over her friend. Although I couldn't hear her, I'm sure she said something along the lines of "here's that guy in these pictures that I told you about" because she discretely glanced over her shoulder at me. At that moment I got a surge of adrenaline, run or stay? I decided to stay because they had no idea who I was and what I did was not illegal. When I walked out, I was shaking from the adrenaline and realized that it was exciting! Since then I would purposely put one "guy mode" picture in each set to see if anyone would indicate if they saw my pictures- to see if there was any comment one way or another.

Fast forward a few years. I began making side-by-side pictures of guy mode and in drag to show the transformation. I sent them in over the net and had them developed miles away at the 1-hour place and picked them up as I passed through to my weekly appointment. It became a semi-regular routine whenever I had the chance to dress. One day I picked up my pictures and the guy who retrieved them was somewhat transgendered himself (lip gloss and manicure). He handed me the pictures and said "I developed these. No one else saw them. Very nice. Enjoy." Well I developed there a few more times without him saying any more about it except "enjoy the pictures". When I got there one day, he told me there was a problem and the internet didn't print automatically as usual. He had to go into the computer and manually print them. Again, another adrenaline surge as I watched him look at every individual picture, select and print. He handed me the pictures "Enjoy".

One more day I couldn't submit the pictures on line at all so I put them on a memory card and brought them in to submit via the kiosk in the store. I picked them up a little later without incident.

The next day at work I was working on a project with s co-worker. She needed some files (you see it coming don't you!) and I gave them to her on the card. At the time I was shuffling between two or three cards and I lost track. Later that night, after she returned the card I went to retrieve the files she worked on and there I was in all my glory! Once the panic and stream of profanities died down called her as calmly as I could and tried not to give anything away in case she happened not to see them.

"Did you have a chance to look at the files on the disc?"

"Yes"

"Did I happen to leave any of my personal files from home on there?"

"Yes"

"Did you see them?"

"Yes."

Silence. There was no denying it. No way to cover it up. Just outright busted!

She told me it was none of her business, that since it hurt no one she didn't care what I did and she wouldn't say a word. Luckily, to this day she hasn't to me or anyone else but I still can't look her in the eye.

Here is one of the pictures she saw:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi50.tinypic.com%2F11jaooh.jpg&hash=b06001b1c2d03a63ce5d4372c3051af12b8e7dd4)

I got caught by my brother trying on my sisters swimsuit when i was 14. He's never said anything since!

I always wore my mothers clothes, lipstick, makeup, her big high heel shoes. Once at maybe age 7 or 8 I thought my parents had left for a long time so I dressed up nice. Both my parents came back too soon, found me with lipstick, nail polish etc... My father was upset, however my mother already knew I was a little girl anyway.

why should it matter if we get caught crossdressed after all we are what we are , female inside ,I'm proud of being a female inside and have accepted  that

Jill1, good for you.

I've never been ashamed except I hated to dissapoint my father long ago when I was a little boy. In hindsight with my mother I should have moved forward then to become a little girl. My mother offered to help me change & visit doctors, she knew I was a little girl. Somehow I guess to please my father I played little boy outside & hid my true identity inside until I left one week after high school.

Anyway for young girl friends, follow your heart, if you are a girl let all know & be glad. Move forward if you can early before the T stuff does too much damage to your body.

once time i caught to my father. then blame me. i feel shy. then i never caught again.  i did thing more carefully.

Never been caught but there were a few near escapes!

There were certain polaroid photos that I'm hoping my mom and sister never saw, but I think they did.

I used to be good at hidding my stash of clothes but when I moved out of my mum and dads house I got a bit sloppy
I put my washing in the machine and went to work later that day my mum and sister
Came over and my mum hanged out my clothes ( in doors) and my sister saw all them all



I went red when I came back from work and found out what happed but on one said a thing to me however I needed to ask who sorted out my stuff that is how I found out who did it

I remember when I was 15 yrs old.  My mom went off 2 work and I played hookie "sick" from school so I could dress.  After she left I went into my sis's room and got a pair of her white panties and bra she left b4 going 2 college.  Put them on and went n2 my mom's room and pulled out a pair of drk beige pantyhose slipped them on.  Went 2 her closet and got a white blouse and white slip and put them on.  Next was a black knee length skirt and matching blazer that went with the skirt.  Last was sum 3in high heels.  Next was the make up.  Lipstick, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, ect.  Was no beauty queen but made me feel more fem.  After I was done I went down stairs and enjoyed listening to my high heels on the hard wood floor.  Sat down and watched sum tv all dressed up.  After a bit I went n2 the kitchen to get sum water.  As I was in the kitchen I heard the front door open and my mom was home.  I heard her high heels on the floor and go up the stairs.  I was nervous and scared as I had no where 2 go.  I could have went outside but didn't want the risk of being seen by neighbors or someone. or being locked out if she checked the door and found it unlocked..  B4 I knew it she was back down the stairs and then heard her coming towards the kitchen and then BLAM face 2 face.  I was so scared n shacking.  My mom didn't say anything and just stood there and turned around and left.  I was so freaked I went up stairs and changed and waited for my mom 2 come home after work.  When 5 o"clock rolled around she came home.  I was in my room waiting for the firing squad.  After a bit she knocked on my door and asked me 2 come to her room.  When I went in she had a suitcase sitting on the bed and told me 2 open it.  There was pantyhose, panties, bra's, blouses, skirts, slacks heels ect. In the suit case.  She started the asking me questions about my cding and told me about a few shows she saw of cross dressing, and found it to better for both people 2 be supportive than to alienate or force the issue of stopping.  Which could have drastic outcomes.  I was so excited and relieved of my not having 2 hide and about getting sum things from my mom.  Who also put some make up in a bag for me with a few how to articles on putting make up on.  After which she told me I could keep the case in her room so when I had friends over I wouldn't have to worry about them finding it.  I agreed I turned around feeling better and as I was going to my room she said hey aren't u 4getting something.  And tapped the suit case.  She grabbed a few pairs of her heels she didn't wear anymore and put them in the case b4 she closed it. As I grabbed the case she told me she will take me shopping 2 get me some fem things that will fit me better.  As some of my mom's stuff was a little big on me but still looked good.  I said that sounds good and went n2 my room 2 try on my clothes and knowing I really didn't have to be sneaky anymore.  Just not parade around and showing it off as much.  Kind of out of sight out of mind as my mom was getting used to the idea of me dressing as a gurl.   So how did it make me feel...I was scared, nervous, excited, and happy by the time the day ended. 

Happy because i am who  I am and proud of it

I was caught in my bedroom wearing my mom's beige satin paneled OBG and a pair of her stockings when i was 15. I thought I was home alone and she was out but alas I was surprised as she burst into my room.Luckily I was only looking at one of her woman;s magazines and nothing else. she was astounded and when she calmed down slightly said " I thought someone was in my lingerie drawers!". I was humiliated but Iconfessed and after a prolonged discussions she began to accept and understand me. she kept my secret and to some extent helped me become more of the gurlie-boi I wanted to become. SG

wonderful ! it's my life I love me and what I  am ;D

My grand parents caught me when I was 10y/o and I got beat so bad that I didn't even touch women's clothes until I was in my late teens. Since then, I have came straight to work after performing at a drag show a couple of times not aware of something until a coworker pointed out the girls ear rings or makeup remnants I didn't remove. It would make me blush but, I was born with out the ability to feel shame(that was inherited from my dad). 

Oh deary me! There's been some real epics about being busted on this thread! Thankfully most of the situations didn't result in too much embarrassment. (It is horrible to read about the family humiliation rituals though. Family should be more understanding - or at least open-minded enough to want to know why - instead of simply meating out the punishment).

As for getting caught at work or out-and-about though - I'm now daydreaming about making an action film like Die Hard, where the hero has to catch the bad guys, but is more worried about getting captured or killed because he decided to secretly wear his favourite Hello Kitty undies that day. This is his nightmare. Never-mind the gun fights and the explosions and the evil henchmen and the evil plots, he's just frightened of those damn panties being revealed to his old colleagues in the police!

(Note: The twist in the story would be when the bad guys raid his house and hold his soft-toy collection hostage).

Anyone want to guess the title of this awesome and completely imaginary movie?  ;D

Btw- this is a very timely post. As I was busted half an hour ago by my student housemates!  ;D
I stupidly left my washing in the machine, and (being a weekend) my housemates decided to do their washing. So in removing my stuff to do their garments, they have just observed a range of frilly items and maxi-dresses (I'm big on floral patterns this year, too). No one has said anything, but there is one of those slightly awkward atmospheres in the house tonight, especially as Silence of the Lambs was playing and it features the infamous character of Buffalo Bill...  :P They're a nice bunch in this house though, so I'm sure I'll be fine. 

Since coming-out (to myself) and subsequently dressing-up around the house and outdoors, as opposed to just in the bathroom (which is what I did for twelve years) I've been busted many times - usually with hilarious results. And on one occasion in particular - crashing into my own car whilst riding a golf buggy in 5" heels.

NEWS FLASH. . . CROSSDRESSER EXPOSED

THREE TIMES IN 40 YEARS

In all, three times over some 40 years.  The first two, while pretty significant back then, are nothing today but memories.  I had started crossdressing with bra and panties about 7th grade (that would have been 1971) The city was a suburb of Oklahoma City. About the same time we had moved. . .

My first real items were a 34B bra and pair of panties, which had been pilfered from my girlfriend who lived down the street.  (she did not know.)

At the time, I still had a large can of, get this, tinker toys in the closet.  I stashed the cloths in the top, under the lid.  Seemed like a GREAT place, till one day when I came home and my mother was sitting at the kitchen table with the things out on the table. . Seems like the next hour was a bad dream as she was giving me the third degree about where I got them and why.  Questions I could barely answer myself at that time. . .Thankfully, she never told my father AND she did not make me "march down there and return the things."   Very embarrassing at the time.

Fast forward two years, I was in 9th grade, and had gotten a one piece girls gym suit.  It was not even that cute in retrospect.  I had put on a bra, panties and foam pads under the gym suit and promptly fell asleep on the couch.  Brilliant!  Mom comes home and  BOOM, Caught again. . .This time she just told me to go and take those things off and put some regular cloths on.  No questions, no third degree.  . In retrospect, I guess she was becoming somewhat accepting at this time.

My mother died a few years later quite unexpectedly and took the secret to her grave, or so I thought. ..

Sometime around 1985 I got involved with the one girl that never approved of my crossdressing.  Mind you, she did not forbid it or anything. . just thought it was weird or something.  Fast forward a couple of years and we have a acrimonious break up.  She does everything she can to try to ruin me.  Tells all my friends, parents anyone she could get to listen.  I decided at that point, I was not going to be blackmailed and any time someone told me what she had said, I would just acknowledge that, yes, I was an occasional crossdresser.  What was amazing was that NO ONE cared. . . I even told my dad (without details) and he said my mother had said something about a "Fascination" with women's clothing a few years before. . ."  Well, at least at that point, the cat was out of the bag!  Nothing else was said, but did I feel better when I told him that, yes it was true, I did occasionally wear lingerie.  No questions, no problems. . . (of course too, I was out of the house by then)

The last one, was about a year ago, and quite the embarrassment.  The current wife and I have been married since 2007.  She has 3 children, one of which (the Eldest)  is out living with his paramour, and had given us a granddaughter.  Generally,   he and I get along pretty well.  He did NOT know about the crossdressing.  Then there is another younger brother who was 15 at the time as well as a sister who is 12.  They both had been told and knew that I wore lingerie and such.  In fact the boy used to get a kick out of teasing me by patting me on the back to see if he could feel bra straps or not. .. Last year for christmans, he gave me one of those stupid clips that convert the back of your bra to a T Back. .   I can't complain, he is good with it and the fact that he teases me says a lot.  Sister is a little more uptight, but recently asked to borrow some of my "girl socks"  That was a trip. . . loaning my step daughter girls clothing!

Ok, So. mom and daughter are gone for the evening and I am at home alone.  Younger brother has gone over to big brothers house to play on the X-Box.  I am pretty confident, and am sitting in the bedroom on the computer wearing a bra and forms, panties, jeans and soft ballet shoes.  I also had the stereo up a bit.  At some point the brothers decide to come back and get something for the X-Box.  Elder brother does NOT have a key, but younger brother does.  Wifes family has a nasty habit of just walking in without knocking.  (which apparently, they have always done.)  Well, I thought I heard something, and the next thing I know, into the bedroom come walking Elder and younger brother. . .


. .
. . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . .

"Ah, How about those dodgers? "

Seriously, there was a pregnant pause. . . I had to get up and tell them to get OUT of the bedroom for a minute and to let me change, which they did.  Exited bedroom a few minutes later and made a bit of small talk.  Told elder brother that now he knew my dirty little secret. and TOLD him he was sworn to secrecy.  So, they get what they need and leave. . . I am trying to assess the damage and the rest of the night passes. .

I later find out from younger brother, that elder brother had quickly driven home, laughing his ass off all the way.  Got home and spilled it NOT only to his paramour, but her mother as well. . . Fecal MAtter!  Apparently, they got a big kick out of it.  BUT. . .

I don't have to worry about taking off soft ballet shoes or flats when they come over.  I did speak with him at length and asked him to consider how embarrassing that could be.  I told him at that point that I really did not care if he told the rest of the family, but would prefer he NOT. . Seems most of her family know about it now. . .no one really said anything.. One night over at the wifes mothers house, we had a large bonfire going and well, many of us had had a beer (or several) and were feeling good. Got to discussing most everything.  Turns out my wifes, niece and husband (Early 20's) were into swinging and the conversation turned to sex.  Well niece asks me about "crossdressing" and I said, "Yes, its true. . . I underdress"  and explained what that was all about. . .

Well, at least after she had a few, she took off her shirt and showed her boobs.  . which was a nice treat for a 50 something guy.  I do feel strangely liberated about it now.  It can't hurt me, and most of the family is too distracted by other things to care. . .

I was caught by my best friend's mom when I was 12.

She was out and me and my best friend went to his bedroom. He tied his belt under my chest and pulled it really tight. I lifted my little boys boobs up over it to give me a bit of breast show.

His mom came in to find me cradling him in my arms with his mouth latched onto my left nipple.

I actually felt more aroused at being caught than nursing him! Later I tried smearing ice cream on my nipples to get him to suck me again, but he wouldn't.

I guess it was that boyhood suckling that lead me to CD, breast enhancement and bra wearing.     

Funny that I read this today... well because I got cought just few hours ago...
Well.. I had some clothes in the machine, and I though that I would pull them first so that my room mate doesnt see it..
Bad luck... when I cameto empty the machine, it was already well spreaded on the drying rack....

I don't mind so much because he already knew about my issue... but I would have prefered to keep the strings out of is sight ;)

Also,..Few month ago my roomates girlfriend cought me in the middle of the night...
I was painting at 4h30 in the morning like I often do... but that night I was painting in girl mode....
Well what a surprise for both of us when she went to the bathroom between her sleep...
We havn't ever spoke about it, but we smiled and laugh knowing what happened.
She is really cool, just like my roomy, so it's all fine.

I must even say that this helps me to get more confortable with it and less as a heavy secret lockup deap down.

I got caught by my wife I was wearing a bra panties and stockings she was shocked at first but she helps me pick my clothes she also helps me with my make up

I haven't been caught, but I think I did too good a job on Halloween. I'm pretty sure I outed myself or at least raised some suspicions.

I think I got rumbled at the Halloween dance as well!

We guys all had to dress up in drag gear provided by the ladies, but I was the only one who knew how to fasten my bra, how to roll my stockings up my legs, fasten my suspenders, walk in high heels and apply makeup.

After an hour or two, the other men were unfastening their padded bras and slipping off their heels. I continued to strut around, flaunting my boobs in my black plunge bra and tight white sheer top. I had shaved my legs too, and I looked good in sheer "barely black" stockings (I asked to wear these, which may have aroused some suspicions).   

As I have been using my electric breast pumps regularly, I actually filled out my bra quite well and didn't need any padding. One lady asked me if I found the bra too tight, and I intentionally said: "no I like to have some support".

I went home in full makeup, bra & heels, and I think many knew I was enjoying it all too much!     

How do feel about it, Valerie Anne? I must admit there was a sense of relief. I'm less concerned about people knowing now. I still scared to come out but less so now. The pic is from that night, by the way. My first outing dressed.

Hi CindyCD,

I loved every minute of clicking around in my heels, exposing my black bra straps under my tight see-through top and pushing out my boobs. I am quite relaxed about it and I am sure my women friends know and really don't mind.

Although I have got great legs in sheer stockings and heels (I was told so!), I am not a gorgeous pretty gurl like you, and I still look like a man in lipstick & mascara.

If I made myself up like I did for halloween, it would just look silly. I can pass as a frumpy woman in sweater, jeans and boots, but my horrible face simply doesn't allow me to wear a sheer top, plunge bra, tight skirt, sheer stockings and pretty heels with any conviction.     

     

Quote from: valerie anne on November 25, 2013, 03:40:25 PM
Hi CindyCD,

I loved every minute of clicking around in my heels, exposing my black bra straps under my tight see-through top and pushing out my boobs. I am quite relaxed about it and I am sure my women friends know and really don't mind.

Although I have got great legs in sheer stockings and heels (I was told so!), I am not a gorgeous pretty gurl like you, and I still look like a man in lipstick & mascara.

If I made myself up like I did for halloween, it would just look silly. I can pass as a frumpy woman in sweater, jeans and boots, but my horrible face simply doesn't allow me to wear a sheer top, plunge bra, tight skirt, sheer stockings and pretty heels with any conviction.     

     

I'm glad you had fun Valerie Anne. I bet it felt great to show off your nice legs. Maybe with the right wig and make-up you would surprise yourself. And thank you for the complement. I was self-conscious about posting the pic, but now I feel ok. You made my day! Hugs and best wishes.

Cindy

Growing up I thought I was very careful putting mom's stuff back, refolding etc. but it seems not well enough a couple of times so see accused my sister of going through her drawers and she denied it and it was as if she didn't want to have to believe it may have been me the way she asked me but had already dismissed the possibility.
She's incredibly liberal always interested in gay and transgendered people so while I was naturally nervous just in case, I always hoped she'd be understanding and supportive if I was ever caught, directly confronted, etc but when I was ultimately caught she was anything but. I snuck to a CD boutique and bought a few things I think I hid very well in places that would have been difficult for her to snoop. One of the things I bought was a wig I could have sworn came in an unmarked box. I threw the box away in my bedroom wastebasket. She was cleaning and emptied the wastebasket finding the box and apparently had some wig marking on it. Freaking out over her discovery she calls me while I'm at work and confronts me. Doing some quick thinking and thinking I was believable I told her some videotapes I mail ordered were in the box. It's too bad she was so freaked out saying things like "We can get you help" instead of being accepting and supportive and offering her help. She dresses so well and is so stylish that her help would have been great and the way she always has to over do everything I would have hoped it would have carried over to that, too. I really would have liked coming home  to find lingerie, pantyhose, pretty dresses etc. waiting for me but that'll never happen.

Quote from: stephanie203 on December 30, 2013, 06:43:41 PM
It's too bad she was so freaked out saying things like "We can get you help" instead of being accepting and supportive and offering her help.

Sometimes we have to show some patience, give her some time to digest the information. I hope it all works out.
Best of luck.

Hugs,
Cindy

My brother one time had caught me...on elementary school i think...

somehow I managed to cover it up...

aaaahhh...

Quote from: FalsePrincess on December 31, 2013, 11:50:26 AM
My brother one time had caught me...on elementary school i think...

somehow I managed to cover it up...

aaaahhh...

No problem. At that age, ....
I was first caught by my mom while wearing silk stockings when I was 4 yrs old. What I remember is that they were unexpectedly too big for my legs, and I was a little bit perplexed and disappointed.

barbie~~

I have had numerous close calls and even been caught a few times, sorta. One time when everyone was away. I was wearing my mom's clothes in her bedroom and the front door opened! I only had her clothes on, my clothes were in my bedroom (other side of the house). I wasn't expecting anyone and my alarm didn't warn me of anybody's presence (bad dog!). I crawled under my parent's bed and hid. Omg I was lucky I did, my dad walked into the bedroom and then left the house soon afterwards. I have had many times where I was wearing female clothing and had the dog, or dogs, bark and warn me that someone has come home so I could change real quick, still do.

One day I was wearing my mom's bra outside for some reason when I was young, prolly early teens, and my brother touched either my back or shoulders. He was like, "omg you're wearing a bra". I was like, "No I'm not", moved away a bit, then ran inside a few min later and took it off lol. Can't really hide the band or straps of a bra. He prolly thought I'm gay, or still does. Never heard a peep about that, guess that counts as being "caught".

I think somebody found my stash of feminine clothing that I had hid in the bathroom, under the sink counter. I had it so I could lift the bottom piece up and had lots of room for things.

The icing on the cake was when I was in my 20's however. One day I was washing my girlie clothes and put em in the dryer, and forgot about them. I fell asleep and when I woke up I was like, Oh $*%(.... I snuck out of my room to check the dryer and you know what, all my things where on top of it. I had some of my mom's clothing and other things that I had gotten over the years in it. Ofc, after I saw my things on the dryer, my dad comes up behind me and questions me about it. I lied and said I was washing a friends things, but he knew I was lying because I had some of my deceased mom's items with them (it was just me and him living at home at that time). It was weird for a few days with us, understandingly, but we never talked about it, and since he passed a few years ago, don't have to worry about it. I wonder if he ever mentioned it to my brother tho?

So ya, now I try to be much more careful, but still I come close to getting caught quite a bit...

-Kelly

Myself, I was caught in the very most wrong way. My ex wife and I had already been having issues, but she was well aware of my dressing and would if fact buy me panties and nighties to wear, I thought all was cool, she even one night suggested I shave my armpits too, so that she could lick them.
One Sunday, as I was fully dressed as Georgette and my stepkids were gone with their dad, she came down to the rec room to let me know the kids would be home soon, and I should change back. NOT 2 minutes later my 16 year old stepson walked in for some reason. Had I just pulled some covers over myself (the tv was on) and pretended to be dozing all probably would have been cool. Instead this dummy blurts out 'hey can I get some privacy please?' Cussing and disbelief from him, too much shock for us both. I am single now and dress here as I please. Meanwhile I took all the heat never letting on that she (the ex) was very much an accomplice.

I had my own room with a bathroom that didn't have a shower or tub, so even though others used it, the bust was undeniable. I used to keep a bra and spaghetti strap top and denim skirt behind the heater in my bsthroom. I walked into it after school to find all three folded on the corner.

Dad did it, or someone did and told him because he started blackmailing me with it for years. It began the end of my cding. I hate that man, especially since my parents rncouraged me to wear nightgowns as a kid. They had a hand in starting it and still dad blackmailed me.

I to have been caught crossdressing.   By my wife, who is , to put it mildly, 110 %  unsupportive, to include certain, not so nice, pronouns and so on.   So, to keep her from seeing anything, I underdress at work only.   The only time I can really be Melody Yvonne is when she goes to visit realitives in other states, like she is now.   If she found out I was still dressing?  It would not be good.     Oh!   And by the way,  I am knew to this site.  And I really enjoy being  Melody Yvonne, which is the name my mother was going to give till she found out I wasn't a girl.

I wasn't exactly caught crossdressing but this is what happened:

I have been dressing in the afternoon after work. My wife gets home early and comes upstairs. Duh, I thought everything was put up but my new Pleaser pumps WERE NOT. They were still in the box(I don't know if she opened the box...guess is she did). She said 'are you crossdressing?'. I didn't know what to say, only that I would be getting rid of them. I did a mini-purge that day and have done a full purge since then. OMG, all the money I've thrown away purging. And I go right back. God and I have talked about this and I look at it as one of His blessings...to be able to see my 'other side' and be okay with it.

Quote from: meryl21 on May 13, 2014, 06:55:15 PM
I wasn't exactly caught crossdressing but this is what happened:

I have been dressing in the afternoon after work. My wife gets home early and comes upstairs. Duh, I thought everything was put up but my new Pleaser pumps WERE NOT. They were still in the box(I don't know if she opened the box...guess is she did). She said 'are you crossdressing?'. I didn't know what to say, only that I would be getting rid of them. I did a mini-purge that day and have done a full purge since then. OMG, all the money I've thrown away purging. And I go right back. God and I have talked about this and I look at it as one of His blessings...to be able to see my 'other side' and be okay with it.

So, your foot size is the same as your wife's?

barbie~~

Never happened to me because I didn't crossdress.  OK, I effectively did until I was 43, but that was all in boy clothes.   I didn't ever hide the fact that I was transgender and told my wife as soon as I could sort of admit it to myself and told her that I needed to borrow some clothes.  I thought keeping a secret like that from her was probably going to be worse than telling her I was trans in the first place.  I didn't think I could have handled having some 'splaining to do if I hid it and it was accidentally discovered.   Plus I REALLY suck at lying.

Well, yeah, kinda. My wife caught me multiple times before I decided to bring her 'in'. The other times wasn't so much caught dressing as caught in something. My wife has recently starting painting my toenails and I'm currently on a business trip out the country (S. Korea). I went for a massage (the stress has been to much on this trip) and the female masseuse looked at my toenails, giggled and asked me if I was a girl.

Then the other night, my coworker came to my hotel room door and I forgot to put on socks, when I opened the door, he said 'nice nails'. I thought I would die but gave the excuse that my wife was fooling around before I left and we forgot to remove it. I think he bought it....... LOL

Quote from: barbie on May 14, 2014, 12:12:41 AM
So, your foot size is the same as your wife's?

barbie~~

Nope. I wear a womans 17. Sure wish I could find some sandals in that size. All I can find are pumps.

Never been caught that I recall, but was later told by my parents they suspected something was amiss when I was in my teens.  I had the great fortune of having friends and family that when I did "come out", really didn't have a care about it one way or another.  I was always known to do my own thing and the rest of the world be damned so I think most of them just figured it was "just another Dani, thing".

There were some rare occasions outside of Halloween that I also had the opportunity to be myself around a few of them.  But being sensitive to others' sensibilities, I tried not to be too much in their faces about it.

It was interesting at times when there were gatherings at my home.  I live in a two story house and the only bathroom downstairs is through my bedroom.  Folks passing through my bedroom and into the bathroom got an eyeful of frills, shades of pink and rose floral patterns.

It did garner some gossip among the few who were not in the know...smile..

Fun times for sure...

Caught by my mom only once ever when I was like 4...

When I first stated experimenting at the age of 14, back then my mum used to work night shifts, one night she came into my room and my blanket wasn't covering me properly and she saw that I was wearing a pair of stockings and a skirt, we had some rather nasty arguments (more like her shouting at me with me not saying a word), it simply went away gradually though I stopped with crossdressing, until recently. (I am now 20)

When young 4-5 years old I used to love to play dress up with my mothers clothes, lipstick, etc... She saw or I guess caught me & was not upset at all. I was just having fun like any little girl would. She just told me not to get anything dirty or break anything. It was such fun & I've always enjoyed being a girl/woman. My mother wanted a little girl anyway so everything was fine. I really thought I was a little girl anyway.

I remember this one time I was dressing in drag for my girlfriend because we both enjoyed it and I had a great time and I guess some of the makeup just didn't come off when I went to school the next day and this guy in class pointed out the blush on my face and I didn't know how to feel, because I don't know if he was judging me or not, and it confused me.

Quote from: PastyPrincess on October 22, 2014, 12:06:34 AM
I remember this one time I was dressing in drag for my girlfriend because we both enjoyed it and I had a great time and I guess some of the makeup just didn't come off when I went to school the next day and this guy in class pointed out the blush on my face and I didn't know how to feel, because I don't know if he was judging me or not, and it confused me.

Back in the mid/late 1990s, I had a houseful for 4th of July festivities.  What most of the guests didn't know is that for the two days prior to everyone showing up, I was completely dressed, make up and all.

Even though I had tried making sure ALL of the make up was off my face, my 9 year old nephew looked at me (as we were all sitting in the living room conversing) and said, "You look like you're wearing lipstick, Uncle D.!"

Thankfully, most of the adults in the room knew who I was but like you, it was one of those moments of "how the hell do I respond??"

My mother walked in on me a couple of times. It made me feel highly embarrassed but her response was fine. In fact from that point she would give me clothing and shoes so it was probably one of the best mistakes I made.  :D

When I was younger at around thirteen or so I would constantly steal my sister's underwear until it got to the point where my parents brought it up to me and I think I apologized to my sister for taking them and returned them. I am not sure if they knew I was wearing them or what not. That's the only moment I have been close to being caught cross dressing.

I think there should be some safe places for that) Like we have in St Petersburg, Russia)))) To try outfits, to learn how to apply make up, to treat oneself with a great photosession with a new look)))) But your stories are so interesting

Quote from: Sandy74 on November 21, 2014, 09:26:00 PM
When I was younger at around thirteen or so I would constantly steal my sister's underwear until it got to the point where my parents brought it up to me and I think I apologized to my sister for taking them and returned them. I am not sure if they knew I was wearing them or what not. That's the only moment I have been close to being caught cross dressing.

Kids are curious, and your parents probably did not related it to transgenderism.

barbie~~

Haha Yeah my mum caught me with eyeliner  on because I couldn't wash it all off in time..
o n mineral power once or twice, my excuse was rockers wear makeup because I use to play a little guitar until it broke

Nope, never. I was too smart and cautious to be caught :D

I got caught sleeping in my underwear once... My parents weren't impressed! After getting changed into my "male" clothes, I had to explain what was happening, but they still didn't understand. They kept looking it up like it was a disease. That sucked. :(

I have been a couple of different times and under a variety of circumstances. I  would dress up (as I call it), then drive around in my vehicle into Toronto and other cities where people did not know me or my vehicle. I have corresponded with others who were into relating experiences and fantasies. I would often find places to park and sit dressed up, while writing. I also alternated playing with myself when I got turned on from reading letters and writing replies. There were a couple of times when I stepped out of my vehicle, late at night to post letters/drop them into a mailbox, a car happened along and the guys in it would drive by hooting, whistling and yelling as they passed by. They only were able to see a back view of what appeared to be a tall, slim brunette, wearing a short skirt and heels. Those times it turned me on. In another scenario, I was in a conservation area late at night walking around and a guy approached me, initiated a conversation which turned to me giving him oral sex. While I was doing this other people walked by on a nearby path and could see my head bobbing up and down. They could not see my face due to the wavy shoulder length brunette wig hanging down. I wanted to stop when I realized these people could see what I was doing. Only the guy I was doing told me that they think I'm a female and not to stop. There was another guy who happened upon this scene, who kept walking by, back and forth, looking or watching. I paused in what I was doing to look up and over to see this person. Again the guy asked me to go back to doing him. Afterwards the watcher was nowhere to be seen. We figured he was behind some bushes jerking off.     

SO Last night, My wife was out with our Daughter, and I thought I had the whole house to myself for the evening.  I got my stash out of the attic and put om some sexy panties, and got out some of my toys.  I was right in the heat of some hot backdoor self play, when I heard a car pull up.  OH CRAP!!!!!! My wife and daughter had come home, and here I was in the bedroom. Femme clothes and heels splayed out all over the place and I was pleasuring myself.  I scurried to shove all of my stuff under the bed. But I forgot to put away the bag on the bed.  I scurried into the bathroom and locked the door, and then I realized that I left a big bag of lingerie and toys on the bed.  I came out of the bathroom and my wife was standing there looking at the items in the bag.  for about 20 minutes I was speechless, then I finally came out with it. That I like to crossdress and I like anal stimulation.

She seemed over cool about it, and we aren't sure how this will pan out.  I'm hoping we can stay together as she has said she's pretty open and cool about it.  She suggested finding a community where I could talk to others about it, so here I am.  The day after my wife found out that she married a crossdresser. 

I'd love to hear other stories, or maybe a little reassurance that a marriage can still make it even with this.

i never got busted as i was super paranoid and cautious but i had a little dress i found in a box of old stuff which i claimed. i used to feel so good wearing it id often go to sleep in it and then im pretty sure my mum saw a corner of it waking me up for school. she never said anything and says she doesn't remember now.
i went out with all my friends last night, straight guys and girls, dressed up. it was so great. i feel like i can let the past 30 years of worrying and being scared about being caught crossdressing go after going out in public as a 'girl'.

Room mate caught me with nail polish on my toes. Hid from him for a week. emberrased beyond belief, but never mentioned anything to me about and we still talk and hang out so I guess he already came to the conculusion im weird and doesn't care :P

I was caught by my mum when i was about 7 or 8, she was mortified and sent me to a child psychiatrist. I learned to hide it better after that  :)

The first time I went out dressed up I took a walk at 2 am and all was going well feeling comfortable when a car drove by and it was the local police they turned around and shined the spotlight on me got out asked me some question then asked for my I.D. and I didn't have it on me so they drove me home I gave them my drivers liscence and just stood there while they checked it out.  my heart was pounding so hard they left and couldn't believe how turned on i got standing there as they looked at me :)

Not straightforward. I haven't practically cross-dressed anyway. Only when I was 13-16 I used to wear one of my mother's dresses. I guess some day my mother found out because the way I had put the dress back in the closet. Back then I dismissed trying to say "just forget it". Other than that I had worn jewellery, nail polish and some other things but I was quick to take them off before my parents got back home (That was like ...20 years ago). I was so terribly scarred of my parents and neighbors finding out. Maybe that's one reason why I didn't really cross-dress. It wasn't really sexual though and sometimes I hit myself for trying to forget it all those years.

Just got sprung by my alcoholic neighbour...he called me a faggot, I told him to eff off cos I'm bigger than him and could hurt him  lol
What a difference getting older makes  ;)

The first time (and the last time so far) that I wore mascara I didn't wash it off properly. When my mum, dad and sister got home the first thing each of them said to me was "oh, it looks like you're wearing mascara!" Somehow I managed to convince them that it was because I had been sitting in a dark room for hours while they were gone, no idea how I got away with that!!

The second time I got caught was when I accidentally left my underwear inside my sister's jeans when I was trying them on one day. My mum and sister called me in to her room and said "these are yours" giving me the underwear. Then my mum looked at me and said "have you been wearing N******'s jeans?" I just said no and walked away nervously, that was the last I heard of it.

The third and final time I got caught was the only time I ever tried nail polish - huge mistake in the situation I was in!! My sister was staying at our cousin's house for the week so I took this opportunity to snoop around her room. I found a lovely red nail polish and put it on without thinking. It was only after it had dried and I had admired it for a while that I realised she had no nail polish remover!! In the end I genuinely attempted to sand it off with sand paper but in the end there was still some left at the bottom of my nails. My dad came home and I was talking to him, trying to hide me hand. He instantly noticed it, grabbed my hand and looked at me with such a mixture of disbelief and disappointment. I'll never forget that look. He asked me what it was in a stern voice and I just burst out into tears. I looked for the easiest thing to blame it on so I just bawled "I miss my sister!!" We hugged it out and that was the last I ever heard of it.

This is the first time I've ever written out all the times I've been caught and to be honest it does make me feel a bit confused. Looking back on it, the reactions that everyone had were nowhere near as bad as I had expected!!Granted I wasn't completely caught in the act, but still kind of intriguing!! :)

xx

Yes,by mom when I was 6 years old wearing her pantyhose.I felt a little guilty and she knew there was something different about me after that.Let me have the pantyhose,she was going to throw them away.

Ive been caught at a fuel station filling up truck. Nervous but felt good. Was wearing pink aeropostale with skinny picetless jeans and thigh high buckled heeled platforms ;) fav!!! Have tons of new clothes since but was a rush:)



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Back in high school, the times I would come home with my nails polished just about every color under the sun, my parents had me take it off immediately. I did it quite frequently, that then they caved only under one condition, only on and around Halloween.

When I was with my wife, she would help me do my nails, and fit me up in girls clothing, she was always jealous of my small stature that she expressed every single chance she got. One day she was helping me get dressed up, and thankfully our room door was locked, but my aunt almost walked in on us. (was living in a family house at that time.)

But since the split back in February, and divorce going to finalizing in August, and that I had come out to her as transgendered a week ago, she wasn't shocked, or surprised, but kinda glad and happy for me that I finally found who I am, and very supportive. She's going to throw the jealousy thing out again when she finds out I'm a size 4. It might be better that I don't say that I did slim down even more.

Edit; Past high school though, my mom has slightly understood that I was into girls clothes, and would try and make an attempt with getting me hello kitty shirts, of any color, and well that was about all she would get me.
On the main note I was trying to get to though, past  2010, I've been rather more open in my cross-dressing, like I would wear my girly outfit to family reunions, well the one I did go to. Otherwise I make no attempt to hide it.

Though I still haven't come out to my immediate family, nor extended family that I'm transgendered yet. The only people that truly know are the lot of you lovely people, my work (all my immediate co workers), My wife, my cousin's best friend, and my wife's sister.

Kate ♥

I normally wear men's clothing boldly in public. I shop in the men's section and try things on in the women's dressing room because I can't pass for male yet.

As a young teen my brother came home unexpectedly and caught me in the act. He told my little sister (both are younger than me) and they established a blackmail racket where I became their slave. Soon their demands reached the point were I figured because I was being blackmailed, I had as much on them as they did on me so they wouldn't talk. I guess I made a mistake or they didn't see it that way because they spilled the beans with mom and she brushed it off as one of those stages kids go though. Nobody received any punishment but mom would find out it wasn't just a stage about 10 years latter.

Well, I knew my mom had an idea that I was dressing as a girl, she was always trying to catch me dressed up so, I decided to let her catch me. I waited until a week before halloween then I went to work. I already had my body shaved so I polished my finger nails & toenails a dark red, next, I plucked my eyebrows super thin then I pierced my ears. I got my sister's hot curlers & set my hair then I started on my makeup. Once I was done, I picked out a red, long sleeve, mini dress with red open toed 4 inch heels. I wore red bangle bracelets & red 4 inch hoop earrings. I finished my hair & sprayed myself with perfume, I looked hot, to make sure mom would catch me, I walked up & down the hallway, my heels made a lot of noise. When I heard mom coming, I sat at her vanity crossing my legs & acted like I was polishing my nails. Mom came in & made a big deal about her son wanting to be a girl. I dressed as a woman for the next 3 weeks.

Mom always dressed me in my older sisters cast-offs (we were dirt poor). I have always been open about it. I guess if one starts out gender non-conformal, there are no changing-the-rules conflicts.

Dress early, dress often. Then people expect it from you.

I've been caught twice. Once when living at my grandmothers. She was at the hospital and I was at home. I got all dolled up and lo and behold my Uncle shows up. Thank goodness for chains on the door but I am sure it was odd to him to be able to open the door but not swing it open. Second time was my brothers girlfriend Jenny caught me when I didn't get all her waterproof foundation off my face. She actually was pretty cool about it and said I looked pretty. It was kind of freaky as I at once felt good and bad  Actually I wanted to come out right then and there, but it was different times and I was sure I was not gay. Didn't need a Doctor to be gay but definitely to be transsexual. Until a few years ago I had only heard of Dr. Bieber and later Dr.Bowers in Trinidad, CO, because of a tv show.  Now there are transition centers around the world and since coming to Susans around the beginning of this year i've come to realize there are more people like me. Millions more.

I get "caught" on a more or less daily basis, as I often dress when indoors and then go out into the yard to empty rubbish etc.

The neighbours know I am a man, but often sight me in heels, stockings, see through top & bra etc. I have had much in the way of a reaction, but I know that they know!

My real secret is that I have a breast fetish. I want to grow my boobs and express milk.

My real exposure was when I ordered a parcel and it was delivered next door. When I went to collect it, on the label it was clearly stated: "dual electric breast pump"!

How did I feel? I pumped myself sore.     

I ordered some prosthesis and they were delivered to my daughters house because they could not be delivered to a PO. When they looked up the name they found her address instead of furtner up the hill where I live. I explained someone had played a prank on her and I offered to mail them back where they came from. They are still in my closet waiting for me to put them on again.

Quote from: DawnOday on October 06, 2016, 02:11:59 PM
I've been caught twice. Once when living at my grandmothers. She was at the hospital and I was at home. I got all dolled up and lo and behold my Uncle shows up. Thank goodness for chains on the door but I am sure it was odd to him to be able to open the door but not swing it open. Second time was my brothers girlfriend Jenny caught me when I didn't get all her waterproof foundation off my face. She actually was pretty cool about it and said I looked pretty. It was kind of freaky as I at once felt good and bad  Actually I wanted to come out right then and there, but it was different times and I was sure I was not gay. Didn't need a Doctor to be gay but definitely to be transsexual. Until a few years ago I had only heard of Dr. Bieber and later Dr.Bowers in Trinidad, CO, because of a tv show.  Now there are transition centers around the world and since coming to Susans around the beginning of this year i've come to realize there are more people like me. Millions more.

Careful, now! You're rocking the 0.03% percent boat with wild and crazy numbers like that!  :laugh:

Hugs, Devlyn

I'm not too worried as I have read there are approx 1.5 million DES Sons alone. I didn't want to blow anybody's mind.

I got caught when I was 13.  My parents yelled at me and said I was insane.  Several  months later I got sent away to boarding school 2000 miles away.  None of that made me feel very good although I made the best of the situation.


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I got caught when I was 13, i think, as well as a few times before that.  That last one got me visits to doctors whose offices were sort of dimly lit and didn't have exam tables.  All they wanted to do was talk and talk.  (Yes, NOW I know what they were...)

My folks were apparently told by one of them that I needed treatment, electroconvulsive therapy followed by Faradic or chemical aversion therapy.  My mom, an RN, didn't go along with this, saving me some torture.  They did go with another recommendation, as I had not had puberty start by age 15 and had undescended testicles, to treat me with what my dad said were "Vitamins, so you'll grow up right."  Yeah, testosterone injections.

That didn't work all that well.  See avatar...

Quote from: HeatherAnn on October 06, 2016, 01:40:22 PM
Well, I knew my mom had an idea that I was dressing as a girl, she was always trying to catch me dressed up so, I decided to let her catch me. I waited until a week before halloween then I went to work. I already had my body shaved so I polished my finger nails & toenails a dark red, next, I plucked my eyebrows super thin then I pierced my ears. I got my sister's hot curlers & set my hair then I started on my makeup. Once I was done, I picked out a red, long sleeve, mini dress with red open toed 4 inch heels. I wore red bangle bracelets & red 4 inch hoop earrings. I finished my hair & sprayed myself with perfume, I looked hot, to make sure mom would catch me, I walked up & down the hallway, my heels made a lot of noise. When I heard mom coming, I sat at her vanity crossing my legs & acted like I was polishing my nails. Mom came in & made a big deal about her son wanting to be a girl. I dressed as a woman for the next 3 weeks.

Heather,

thanks for sharing and welcome to the site.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment and look through the first 4 or so stickies:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

I've never been caught crossdressing, but I did get caught with shaved legs. It was a time when I thought my legs would not have to be exposed to anyone for around a month. My girlfriend was supposed to be away for around a month. Well, she came back two and a half weeks early, so I had to explain myself. (She knew about my dislike of chest hair, which I shave, but never shave my legs for her.)

My GF is a strong, tom-boy type, and even believes she has more testosterone than females most. She got quite interested and asked if I had more to tell about this. I think it was rhetorical for her. Had I denied it, she would have mistrusted me for lying. Long story short, I showed her some of my female wardrobe. She now buys me stuff, underwear, tops, and has me wear them. Because of who she is (strong, high testosterone levels, hairy arms, etc.), knowing about my more feminine side has made her more comfortable with herself. The lesson for me was: always be honest to yourself and those closest to you.

It made me feel normal, like a million bucks!

Quote from: Veronique10 on November 12, 2016, 11:40:29 PM
I've never been caught crossdressing, but I did get caught with shaved legs. It was a time when I thought my legs would not have to be exposed to anyone for around a month. My girlfriend was supposed to be away for around a month. Well, she came back two and a half weeks early, so I had to explain myself. (She knew about my dislike of chest hair, which I shave, but never shave my legs for her.)

My GF is a strong, tom-boy type, and even believes she has more testosterone than females most. She got quite interested and asked if I had more to tell about this. I think it was rhetorical for her. Had I denied it, she would have mistrusted me for lying. Long story short, I showed her some of my female wardrobe. She now buys me stuff, underwear, tops, and has me wear them. Because of who she is (strong, high testosterone levels, hairy arms, etc.), knowing about my more feminine side has made her more comfortable with herself. The lesson for me was: always be honest to yourself and those closest to you.

Here we call it 'a good marital compatibility'. You are lucky.

barbie~~

In my early years, I have been caught a couple of time. The first time I was wearing a bra and I had a T-shirt. And you could clearly see the top of the bright red straps of my bra. When I first notice I was at the Wal-Mart check out counter and I know that the girl who was checking me out noticed and smile a few times.
The other time was when I was dating, I had on pair of thongs and bra, and she was trying to take off my shirt and I quickly refuse and I had to run into the bathroom to take them off. She found out and that was the end of the relationship.
Now I full dress and I am not worried who catches me.

I've only been caught once, by my son when my wife and I were be having some sexy time, I was wearing lacey black panties my wife had just got me and a tank top. I went out to get a glass of water from the kitchen and not sooner did I finish filling the glass, I turned around and there stands my boy, mouth already loaded with a question. I panicked and told him that I was playing a joke on his Mom and not to say anything when he went back in his room. I was extremely embarrassed, and after I told my wife she was cracking up and I turned even more red, lol needless to say, I wear shorts if I'm leaving the room and I'm wearing my panties now. I'm not really ready for that talk with either of the kids.

I remember about 26 years ago, my GF convinced me to yry on her bra.  I was secretly soooo excited and I did.  A few days later, I was alone and put it on again.  I was feeling my true self and I was doing something with my back to the door and I didn't hear her come in.  As I stood up I saw her back as she walked out of the room.  I quickly changed and went out to the other room and acted like I was surprised to see her.  We never spoke of it to each other until one night late she was trying to guage my reaction and I did not react. These 25+ years later that day is still very clear in my mind.
Paulal

Quote from: PaulaLee on November 18, 2016, 03:04:59 PMThese 25+ years later that day is still very clear in my mind.
Paulal

Curious: what happened to the relationship, are you still together? Seems odd that she would be surprised to catch you since she was the one who initiated it. Did anything like that happen again?

I moved away and we drifted apart.  I was probably 23 and she was in her last year of college.  She ended up getting married to one of my friends but I think they end up divorced.

That's a different answer for me which depends on who sees me as wearing the clothes of a woman.
Lately I must work in a nearly unisex uniform consisting of black pants, shoes, and black polo shirt. I make sure to never wear men's pants or polo shirt, and to always wear a bra under my shirt. Usually I have a modest silicone insert in my bra to give me a feminine profile yet not to appear really "out there". You might say everyone at work notices. All the women seem to smile and act warmly toward me and most of the men seem to behave as if they are afraid of me. If I notice a female co-worker really staring at my chest and yet smiling, I take that as an opportunity to out myself to them. ALWAYS with with women I am given a warm loving acceptance. So far I have only outed myself to one man at work. He was cool. He had been hinting around for an invitation to come to enjoy some beach time at my beach place on the coast. He was truly wanting to be my friend. However all of my neighbors at the beach property know me as a transgender person named Donna. I did not want to shun this new friend, yet I knew that if I brought him along to the beach people would call me Donna. So, I decided to include this new male friend in my circle of confidants and tell him that if we go out to the beach, I want him to know that I identify as a lesbian with a wife and that all my neighbors at the beach know me as Donna. Well, strange at it seems, I seem to have a new male heterosexual friend who accepts me as a transgender woman who identifies as as a lesbian even though my employer thinks I am a man.
Most of the men at work still notice the bumps under my polo shirt on my chest and give me a strange look. But I think perhaps explaining myself to them will eventually get them to accept me as the same great co-worker who is proud to be considered female.
All this is without HRT yet.
Soon come.

Quote from: cc43 on December 29, 2008, 09:50:47 PM
" come on girl you can do your make up later"

  :laugh:

I have been caught by my sister years ago, my wife at first, my neighbor, my son, but later found panties hidden in his room stolen from his girlfriends and mine even.

One night when a girlfriend and her daughter was at my place, her daughter was telling us she did not have any clean panties to wear the next day. Her mother told her to not wear any, but she kept on, I told them both to follow me and went in my room opened a bottom drawer and said choose. This might have seemed bold, but mother and daughter were sleeping in the same bed at their place becuae they lived at her parents.

Moderator edit: Content in violation of Terms of Service removed

Love the story. I dressed in my mothers girdle, stockings and bras starting at age 14. Then my sisters panties, bras, clothes, heels. Dressed completely in my sisters clothes once and showed her. Then years later when I stayed with my mother, I would go out at night, dress in the car then go places like adult theaters or meet my bi girlfriend and my mother would always ask where I went. So one night I got fully dressed at home and walked into the living room to show her. She was getting old and asked who I was. She did not believe me! It felt good to finally show her however.

Then started wearing wife's panties. She liked it!

Moderator edit: Content in violation of Terms of Service removed

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Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

When I was about 13, my Mum was seriously ill in hospital and I ended up living with an Aunt & Uncle as my father was overseas with the Army. They had an 18 year old daughter and by then I knew I was different (but hadn't heard about being TG). Of course this was before the Internet. Anyway I slept on a camp bed. Then one day whilst everyone was away at work I started to explore my cousins wardrobe and soon  ended up trying on one of her Playtex Corsolette, panties and stockings etc.
One day I was caught by my aunt.

This led to a lot of shame, being sent away to a different aunt & uncle and my father coming home from overseas. The result for me was a number of sessions with a Harley Street psychiatrist who told my parents that what i urgently needed was a set of treatment, based upon electroconvulsive therapy followed by faradic aversion therapy. This was then followed by a series of vitamin injections. I subsequently found out in later years that it was a course of testosterone injections. Needless to say 6 months of this treatment did nothing other than make me determined to hide my deep longing to be a woman deep into my phsyce.

I was then bundled off to can All Boys Boarding college. What followed was  a career in the Army, working as a Police Officer, and a hyper male persona to try to over compensate.
It didn't work!
Judith

QuoteThe result for me was a number of sessions with a Harley Street psychiatrist who told my parents that what i urgently needed was a set of treatment, based upon electroconvulsive therapy followed by faradic aversion therapy. This was then followed by a series of vitamin injections. I subsequently found out in later years that it was a course of testosterone injections. Needless to say 6 months of this treatment did nothing other than make me determined to hide my deep longing to be a woman deep into my phsyce.

I was then bundled off to can All Boys Boarding college. What followed was  a career in the Army, working as a Police Officer, and a hyper male persona to try to over compensate.
It didn't work!

Whoa!  Sounds way, way too familiar.  After I was caught and did the psych visits, Mom (I think) decided to skip ECT and aversion therapy for me, and went right for T injections and counseling.  Yes, Dad called them "vitamin shots".  I went from an effeminate A student to a surly D student.  All male high school, of course.  I went into the Navy, submarine service.  Definitely overcompensating.

When I was about 18 years old, my 1st "important" girlfriend caught me wearing her skirt. She walking in on me shrieking and  yelling "take that off RIGHT NOW!!"  , embarrassed but covering it well, I laughed it off as a joke, felt like I died, and went on with my day. I never showed anyone (especially her) anything to do with that again for 6 more years.
7 more years pass after that breakup, I get married, come out to new wife, and She accepts! we are go to go!

Had been caught several times in my teens by mother.

Worst was when in Navy, lived off base (1972-74) and could dress like I wanted.  Started to drive around at night.  One night got stopped by police.  After all the usual bad questions, he didn't seem to care.  He saw my military ID and base sticker on car and must have reported it to the base commander office.

XO told me I had to visit Psychiatrist and security people (had a Top Secret clearance).  Don't know if he knew the reason why.  Figured my life was over at that point.  Since no homosexual connections or security risk, they just told me to get back to work.

Made me sure this could be the start of a new life, after I got out in 1974.

Got caught by a neighbor the other week or so ago

I wasn't so much bothered that she had seen me in my unders, what bothered me was that she was gawking in through my window and then went about gossiping and harassing me

Not sure, but I think someone told her to go stuff it because she seems to have cooled her shoes a bit

Well I was never caught dressed. But I was about 19 and my Mother found my entire girly stash. Lingerie , dresses , makeup , wigs,  etc.
She confronted me and asked if it was all mine. I told her yes and she proceeded to ask if I needed to see a psychologist. I said no.
That was the last time it was ever mentioned.
Now she may still think I dress as my toes are always painted and legs shaved I don't hide that.
Yes it was a bit embarrassing but I didn't die.
BTW she didn't tell my Father as he never said a word and believe me he would have had he known.
That was over 30 yrs ago.

Karrie

Never was "caught".....I always use the term "military precision" when describing my efforts to hide my true self.  After ~40 years it was physically and mentally exhausting keeping that facade up.....no more, feels just AMAZING be true, well except for the nipple tenderness, that's a bitch :)

Never actually been caught but have had my mom find a load of knickers bras tights sex toys and makeup. Never wanted the ground to open me up and swallow me alive as much as I did during that conversation. Probably happened about a year ago and still can't look her in the eye properly. The good news it only stopped me dressing for about two month haha

I will try to make this a short as possible.

I grew up very poor, and had a sister 6 year older then me and I wore her hand me down clothes until I started school and then I was told to change as soon as I got home to my regular clothes which were my sister's  clothes.

I liked girl's clothes with all the pretty colors and lacey edges and the freedom of wearing a dress/skirt.

Fast forward to age 16 and I had a part time job at a Grant's store.  They sold a little of everything and had a small section of women's panties, slips, some make up, stocking and more.  The panties were sectioned into sizes and cotton and nylon separate.  My sister had moved away and the panties that I had left from her were in really bad shape.  About two weeks before I was caught I slip a pair of pink nylon panties into a empty box I was cleaning up with and took them to the back of the store and pushed them down the sleeve of a jacket I keep near the back door.  I just loved the panties and wore then every day, at night I would wash them out and hang them in the closet to dry for the next day.  About two weeks after my success I tried again only to have the panties work there way down the sleeve of my jacket and showed at the bottom of the sleeve where the store manager saw them. 

Without me knowing this he ask me to come to his office and when I sat down I saw a pair of pink panties on his disk but was not sure if they were the pair I had taken.  As soon as he started talking I knew the answer and start crying and was soon sobbing and finely had to admit that they were for me.  I ended up admitting to dressing and more.

He did not fire me, SURPRISE.

I nearly got caught today!! My mum and brother had been out so as usual I took full advantage of the situation by dressing up in numerous outfits (I have been wearing female underwear all day as well) And I was doing all this in my mum's closet which is quite far from my room. However, I had taken all my boy clothes off in my bedroom and was dressing up in my mum's! I didn't hear her come home though and I was just casually walking back to my room wearing nothing but panties and tights when my brother and mum walked through the front door! I quickly dashed into the bathroom. Waited till they were well out of the way and darted into my bedroom to get dressed back into my other clothes. I have had a few of theses close experiences!

Alexis
Xxx

I don't know how often I was caught cross-dressing by my parents.  I did it from as early on in my life as I can remember, as I thought I was a girl as long as I covered my hair and teeth and ddn't wear boys' clothes.

My mother in particular always made me feel very ashamed, especially after I found out that I really was physically a boy, but I couldn't help, myself.  If people she knew recognised me while I cross-dressed, she was especially ashamed of me.

The scariest time I was caught was while I was camping by myself in a national park many years ago.  My clothes were pretty unisex but I had painted my toenails bright red.  For that reason, I used to shower late at night when the camp was quiet.  It was a six week camping trip and up to then I had had no problems when I walked barefoot to the men's showers (I didn't dare get caught in the women's).  I like walking barefoot in nature, and the shower cubicle doors in some camps didn't reach the floor anyway, so there wasn't much extra risk in spite of my toenails.  On this occasion, someone came in while I was showering.  There was nowhere I could hide my feet.  Whoever it was didn't say anything and left after a little while.  I saw nobody while I walked back to my campsite.

By coincidence, the only time my mother caught me and didn't say anything was when I got out of a shower and had forgotten about my painted toenails.  She just glowered.

This is not so much being caught dressing, but I was away with a girl friend and her boy friend, at the beginning of the month, and she likes to paint my toes for me , which she did. As it was warm climes I spent a lot of time not wearing any shoes, so my pink toe nails were on display for the world to see. We have done this before and when it there is a larger group of girls I don't feel self conscious at all about people seeing my toe nails but with just the three of us I was very self conscious especially around men.

I don't know if it was the fact that because there were only three of us that I felt more vulnerable, to potential abuse, or if I just tend to hide behind the crowd and other times and so am less concerned about what people think.

Still, when it was just friends I loved having my pink nails on display and not worrying about what people thought. It is the little things that help me get by.

My brother and his friends caught me once when I was 16. My parents were gone for the weekend and they had left Tyler in charge. He had gone out with his friends and I figured he would be gone until late at night. I used the opportunity to go all the way. I put on full makeup, curled my hair  and tried several outfits from my mom's clothes. I had on a sweater, skirt and my mom's boots. They were over the knee boots on her but more like thigh boots on me. I went downstairs to get a drink and walked right into my brother and three of his friends. My brother had come back and he and his friends were going to hang out at our house. My rotten luck to have the only responsible 18 year in the world as a brother! I myself wasn't embarrassed but I was worried about embarrassing my brother in front of his friends. The reactions were different. My brother just rolled his eyes and groaned a little. One of  his friends looked totally embarrassed.  One of them looked at me like I was some kind of disgusting bug and the last one just looked at me and said " wow, you look really pretty as a girl". My brother wasn't mean to me about it. He just told me to stay upstairs while I was dressed that way. He didn't narc me out to my parents either. He just told me to please not let them see me like that.

I tried out different outfits from my mom's clothes all the time I just never got caught. She knew about it though. A couple of times she told me to stay out of her clothes. Finally she just told me if I was going to wear her clothes to put them back the way I found them. Her tolerance for me wearing makeup was much less though. When I was 14 I started wearing eyemakeup. My mom would yell at me to stay out of her makeup and she would make me wash it off. Finally when I just kept on doing it my dad just asked me why I wanted to wear eye makeup and I told him to look more normal. It wasn't really a lie. I totally hate the look of snow white brows and lashes. It just highlights the weird pink/purple color of my eyes. He said "but you look like a girl with makeup on. Do you realize that"? I told him I didn't care. So he let me start using black mascara and eyebrow pencil on my brows. My dad was and is extremely tolerant but it had limits. A couple of times I tried adding eyeliner, blush and lipcolor to the eye makeup and he told me both times I tried it that he said I could do my lashes and eyebrows only and to wash off the rest of it. He let me wear gender neutral clothes but he wouldn't let me wear clothes that were exclusively female. It wasn't that he was trying to force me to be a boy but more that he was very worried that people who knew I was a boy would harass me or boys who thought I was a girl would find out I wasn't and would hurt me.

I was caught when I was 14.
All my childhood, my mom told me that after having 5 boys she was really hoping I would be a girl. She said it all the time; she wished I was a girl. Maybe that's why at age 14 I became fascinated with her clothes. I first tried panty hose - wow. Then bra, then dresses. Then I started skipping school so I could stay home to dress.
One day I was home, in a blue dress with bra and panty hose on, absolutely sure I had the house to myself until my uncle walked in and surprised me.
I was embarrassed.
He was turned on. His silence was bought with me performing oral sex for him while I was dressed up.
I was so nervous and so embarrassed for days and days. Then my uncle started to pick my up to go do errands with him. My mom loved that we were bonding. He loved that he took me to his house and had me dress up for him and perform more and more.
Soon, it all became normal for me.

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Quote from: jaymie on January 05, 2009, 05:43:57 PM
I think i may have been suspected a few times (I would 'borrow' some of my mom's clothes); sometimes i know they didn't make it back to the right spot exactly or make it back before they were maybe noticed.

Oh, I feel you here. I'm just 16 now and tried cross-dressing for the first time with a full face of makeup, a maxi dress, leggings, and heels just 4 years ago. It felt so good to wear the clothes that felt right now being transsexual. It was after this when I had the horrifying thought that what If my mom noticed that her clothes were in the wrong place. :P What really killed me is when I tried putting on some spandex leggings and they tore. :embarrassed: I was horrified about that even until the day I came out this year. as an aside, my mom still has no idea I wore her clothes ever. It is really relieving, to be honest.  ;D