Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I would like to know from the members here and please be 100% honest do any of you regret having srs?. I know people out there who get it done must feel this way and that its not all candy and roses. And wish maybe they should of kept that part of their body alone.

If you have had SRS and regret it please respond to this post. If you don't regret it please do not respond to this post.

Quote from: Lanalicious34 on May 30, 2013, 08:21:46 PM
I would like to know from the members here and please be 100% honest do any of you regret having srs?. I know people out there who get it done must feel this way and that its not all candy and roses. And wish maybe they should of kept that part of their body alone.

If you have had SRS and regret it please respond to this post. If you don't regret it please do not respond to this post.

Hon, don't be telling people not to post. It's on the members to stay on topic, it's on the Staff to see that they do, iit's on you to accept the replies that come. Hugs, Devlyn

Lana:

I don't think you'll find many people post about regret.  Not that they would be unwilling, but if they truly regret, they'd probably leave Susan's.

I've been here a few years, and while there have been some that were initially unhappy with the results, they came to at least accept if not embrace their decision.

To my mind I only recall one vocal member who decried the results of their surgery.  She claimed that she looked like a firecracker had gone off in a pound of hamburger.  She had been told by one and all, including her surgeon, that she would look like "Franken-pussy" for a good six months before the swelling went down.  She expected too much too soon.

But even that wasn't so much regret of having it done, so much as regret that it didn't live up to her high expectations.

I might ask, why you are asking?  Are you fearful of getting the surgery and then having buyers remorse or something like that?  If so, it is not an unusual thought.  I think we all go through that.  I had a bit of that myself.  I had attained everything I wanted in my transition.  I was viewed by society as a woman.  And who would be seeing my goodies except me.  For me it was just the frosting on the cake.

Until I woke up after the surgery.

And then I felt completely and irrevocably female.  And from that point on, I had no regrets at all.

-Sandy

never for 1 single second, not even with the pain at the start of the healing!

People regret things all the time including surgery's. For someone to say everything is roses and candy canes I think is kind of bs. Iv read online people have regreting there srs. Even not happy with the results or had major complications. I'm just wondering if anyone here regrets or wished they had thought it out better is all.

I read a study from Sweden that did follow-up on SRS. And the vast majority were happy and in the two groups there were two or three suicides out of 150-175. It is unknowable whether those deaths are related to SRS as many trans women (the study focused on MTFs) have issues beforehand. I'm sure most surgeries carry a small dissatisfaction rate. I am remember my best friend from childhood told me one day out of the blue that a lot of transsexuals kill themselves after surgery.  I think this is a myth and the vast majority are ecstatic. You can't please all the people all the time and some people have too high expectations.

Quote from: Lanalicious34 on May 30, 2013, 09:11:49 PM
People regret things all the time including surgery's. For someone to say everything is roses and candy canes I think is kind of bs. Iv read online people have regreting there srs. Even not happy with the results or had major complications. I'm just wondering if anyone here regrets or wished they had thought it out better is all.

When I was a teen I would cry 3 or 4 times a day, I would never look anyone in the eye, barely speak to anyone and life just sucked.

At 16 I was on blockers, HRT at 18, SRS at 21.

Since the blockers I've only ever cried at break-ups, losing a loved one or being hurt, being over the moon happy or at a sad movie.
I look at everyone in the eyes, I talk too much and life just couldn't be better.
I've never wanted kids or at least carry a child.
I'm happy with my results and never had a complication other than the pain at the start of the healing, but knew that the pain was worth it.

I couldn't see myself as a man, I'm so happy to be alive and living my life the way I should be.

Nope.

Not roses and candy canes here, there were definitely some pretty unpleasant moments (and dilation remains a chore), and this thing is a heck of a lot more high-maintenance than a penis was even for people born with 'em.

But I wonder if it's like they say about childbirth - once enough time has passed, you forget the pain and just enjoy the new gift. ;)

I think you will find that most people don't regret it, but they acknowledge that there are cons to the procedure as well.  I've haven't yet had srs, but I did have surgery in that region.  Yeah there were cons and lots of pain, but I didn't regret doing something I had to do for my health. While I am not at the point of SRS, I can't I imagine would regret it due to my dysphoria from trans issues and my previous medical issues which only intensified how I view that area.

In the end, I would advise you to think about this topic without the input of others.  We are all different.  Just because someone else was happy with it doesn't mean you will be.  And vice versa.  I think you are better off asking yourself if you would regret it.  Do you think you would?  If so, why?  If not, why?  There is no shame no matter what conclusion you draw.  Just be honest and follow your heart. 

I will admit that at first I was very depressed and did regret srs but as time went on the post op depression went away. Now I have fully adapted I think and I'm really happy :)

Quote from: girl you look fierce on May 30, 2013, 10:05:42 PM
Well I think Sweden would weed out the mistaken people cause don't they have pretty serious gatekeeping and like if you're not young and femme they don't let you transition medically?

(Sorry I am not that informed but please correct me if I'm wrong)

Yes you're right their process is cruelly strict and does not follow WPATH. I'm not sure about age (You have to be over 18 for HRT) but you do have to be not only femme but also strictly heterosexual. It doesn't sound like a very accepting place.

I was told that post op depression is relatively common and keeping in touch with your therapist post op is recommended here. I don't think that is the same as regret however.

It was this thread (and my need to answer it) which has brought me back to Susan's...

I have regrets about a lot of things but my surgery isn't one of them.  Although I wish I had been born in more recent times, because what I got isn't nice...I have to say I don't know much about female vagina's, but enough to know what I got wasn't the best and is up for repair :)

Life is too short to have regrets.  I saw a television programme the other night about a woman who can no longer have sex.  She and her husband have tried.  She has two boys...A routine procedure went terribly wrong and she has 3rd degree burns to her insides.  She has since had a hysterectomy, and takes 60 tablets a day, and has put on over 20kg in weight.  Now I don't know what your quality of life is, but I know what her's is!

There is no reason to have regrets.  The glass is half full, not half empty.  It will be empty soon enough ;)

Don't EVER give up!

 if there is any regret, it is my regret that i have to undergo the op in order to have an acceptable lifestyle in society...or at least that is what society made me feel. sort of like having six fingers and having to cut one off in order for people not to treat me like a freak.

Quote from: Cindy. on May 31, 2013, 01:19:54 AM
I was told that post op depression is relatively common and keeping in touch with your therapist post op is recommended here. I don't think that is the same as regret however.

I know . It was just odd. I was mad at everyone that pushed me to do it as it was the final step and was already mg feeling like it was such a mistake. But all of that was silly of me to think :)
Some days I still feel that way and I'm just like ," I so wish I was still a boy so I could stand and pee or do things guys have the freedom to do!.." But that's judge me being moody and resisting things sometimes haha

Quote from: Lanalicious34 on May 30, 2013, 09:11:49 PM
People regret things all the time including surgery's. For someone to say everything is roses and candy canes I think is kind of bs. Iv read online people have regretting their srs. Even not happy with the results or had major complications. I'm just wondering if anyone here regrets or wished they had thought it out better is all.

Do you mean regretting their choice of surgeon? I knew someone who had SRS, who then became disillusioned living permanently their fantasy life of a woman. They detransitioned, but that's transition regret.

Quote from: Nicolette on May 31, 2013, 04:47:24 AM
Do you mean regretting their choice of surgeon? I knew someone who had SRS, who then became disillusioned living permanently their fantasy life of a woman. They detransitioned, but that's transition regret.

I think some people have a perception that SRS will change all of their life problems, when in practice it changes their body parts and hopefully allows you to live as your true gender. I think that is where a good therapist is of gold.

A therapist can never judge if you are trans* or not, that is something only you know. A therapist helps you with the co-morbidities so you can live with your decision and all it entails.

I regret not having SRS til I was 37.I would have done it sooner if I had the confidence

Quote from: Cindy. on May 31, 2013, 04:55:39 AM
I think some people have a perception that SRS will change all of their life problems, when in practice it changes their body parts and hopefully allows you to live as your true gender. I think that is where a good therapist is of gold.

A therapist can never judge if you are trans* or not, that is something only you know. A therapist helps you with the co-morbidities so you can live with your decision and all it entails.

Yes, there's no litmus test for trans. I'm extremely skeptical that one can even be diagnosed with GID by a third party. The bottom line is that one needs to be utterly honest with oneself to determine a diagnosis. A therapist can help and guide, but I wouldn't put my life in their hands, at the end of the day. We need to take responsibility for our own decisions. Anyway, as one can see, I've become quite cynical over the years.  Proceed with caution. :laugh:

For all practical purposes srs changed very little in my life when I had it. I had already transitioned and was at the time living my life the way I always felt I should. srs was not the procedure that gave me my life.

By the time I got around to it I thought very little about. It was just something that needed to be done in order to cross the finish line. Sometimes at night I would have bouts of these "OMFG! This is happening for real!"-moments. I at times worried I might regret it. I didn't think I would, but I just couldn't be sure. As it turned out I would have no regrets. Surgery and recovery was hell, I wouldn't want to do it again but I would if I had to.

I am almost 8 years post-op now and the funny thing is I can't exactly remember what it was like before, so I don't really see how it would be possible to regret it at this point in time. Right now it pretty much feels like I was born like this. It's my natural state.

I shudder to think what life would be like without srs. I've had nightmares about waking up one morning to find myself reverted.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on May 30, 2013, 11:07:38 PM
Yes you're right their process is cruelly strict and does not follow WPATH. I'm not sure about age (You have to be over 18 for HRT) but you do have to be not only femme but also strictly heterosexual. It doesn't sound like a very accepting place.

I can't say for sure about Sweden, but I live and have transitioned in Norway (the neighbouring country). I think the programs in the two countries are comparable.

My experience here is that the gatekeeping is a lot more strict than in the US, but there are no requirements regarding sexuality or appearance. They did however act like jerks though, at the GID-clinic I mean.

.

Quote from: MariaMx on May 31, 2013, 06:56:01 AM
For all practical purposes srs changed very little in my life when I had it. I had already transitioned and was at the time living my life the way I always felt I should. srs was not the procedure that gave me my life.

By the time I got around to it I thought very little about. It was just something that needed to be done in order to cross the finish line. Sometimes at night I would have bouts of these "OMFG! This is happening for real!"-moments. I at times worried I might regret it. I didn't think I would, but I just couldn't be sure. As it turned out I would have no regrets. Surgery and recovery was hell, I wouldn't want to do it again but I would if I had to.

I am almost 8 years post-op now and the funny thing is I can't exactly remember what it was like before, so I don't really see how it would be possible to regret it at this point in time. Right now it pretty much feels like I was born like this. It's my natural state.

I shudder to think what life would be like without srs. I've had nightmares about waking up one morning to find myself reverted.

I totally agree with this. i was told that the surgery wouldn't really change anything else about my life and that i needed to do it. and yet it did change everything. even the experiences i had with people. like for some reason after srs about a month later i guess my smell changed because i have had quite a few guys comment on the fact that i smell sweet even after coming from the gym witch is really weird and gross.
and iiii your so right i did not hav any idea what i was getting myself into. i was shocked by all the post op care needed and stuff. so for a while i did regret it and even tried to de transition and learn to be a guy but it didnt work so i gave up on that fast. running from the post op problem was not smart on my part. but like i said im so happy now and i would think 9/10 times people normally are. unless they just really dont pass and live is a hostile area. i have herd from people in those kinds of situations that regret it. ???

Quote from: Joanna Dark on May 30, 2013, 09:25:50 PM
I read a study from Sweden that did follow-up on SRS. And the vast majority were happy and in the two groups there were two or three suicides out of 150-175. It is unknowable whether those deaths are related to SRS as many trans women (the study focused on MTFs) have issues beforehand. I'm sure most surgeries carry a small dissatisfaction rate. I am remember my best friend from childhood told me one day out of the blue that a lot of transsexuals kill themselves after surgery.  I think this is a myth and the vast majority are ecstatic. You can't please all the people all the time and some people have too high expectations.

There's a Swedish documentary about SRS regret: Regretters.

One MTFTM is into women only and regretted his SRS the very next day; the other MTFTM developed SRS regrets after 30 years(!!) and having been married to a man for 11 years.

http://www.documentaryfilmonline.com/film-reviews/regretters/ (http://www.documentaryfilmonline.com/film-reviews/regretters/)

I know 2 post op regretters personally; one admits he made a mistake and wishes he'd never underwent SRS (and I warned him several times before having SRS); he's on testosterone since 2 years and living as a male again.

The other doesn't directly admit zhe's regretting zher SRS but had zhis breastimplants removed, went off oestrogen, then on livial (an 'inbetween' hormone' and since a couple of years testosterone, sporting a goatee and living as 'transgendered', carefully avoiding the word 'transsexual'.

The first person developed regrets a year post SRS; the second after 10(!) years.

I guess I just don't understand. For me, I wanted to "get rid of it" for lack of a better phrase long before I even knew it was possible. I mean by the time I was 10 or 11 I knew what a transsexual was and I knew i was one so I guess it is easier for me. I guess I have pretty sever genital dysphoria along with everything else so I can't imagine SRS would be anything other then ecstasy. In fact, I could pretty jealous reading about it.

When I said regret srs I did not mean back to being a man but back to being pre-op or non-op. As in leaving your breasts implants alone and still live as a woman but no srs.

I have a friend who got her srs done not to long ago became lazy and now her new neo-vagina has some what closed on her. And was told by the surgeon that there is nothing he can do for her but for her to use the first dialtor and douch. She is in so much pain she wishs she was not such a lazy cow and now she has ****** her self over. So yes she wishs it was not as much work and is very depressed.






Edited for profanity.

Quote from: Lanalicious34 on May 31, 2013, 01:39:30 PM
When I said regret srs I did not mean back to being a man but back to being pre-op or non-op. As in leaving your breasts implants alone and still live as a woman but no srs.

I have a friend who got her srs done not to long ago became lazy and now her new neo-vagina has some what closed on her. And was told by the surgeon that there is nothing he can do for her but for her to use the first dialtor and douch. She is in so much pain she wishs she was not such a lazy cow and now she has ****** her self over. So yes she wishs it was not as much work and is very depressed.

I've heard of and read about several stories such as this and it just blows my mind. At least for me, I waited several years and spent around $25,000USD out of my own pocket (no insurance, no loans, no family help) to pay for my SRS... and just to waste it to have such an outcome due to "laziness" is utterly, unequivocally, and absolutely mind-blowing. Why did she have it done in the first place? I mean, it is a lot of work in post-op care, and some people can get depressed, and some do gain weight due to hormonal fluctuations, and lack of activity can lead to weight-gain during recovery, but WTF! Just don't do it, if you're not going to take care of it. Kinda along the same path as having kids or a pet. I just can't process such a thought process or lack thereof.






Edited for profanity.

If you're unsure...don't do it!

Weigh the pros and cons first and then see if getting SRS is worth it to you.

-DISCLAIMER- Below is my own personal opinion of SRS.

For me...I'm okay with my genitals...and sometimes I would prefer a vagina. So to me SRS is a complete waste of money...Poof! $25,000 gone, and a new vagina that may not properly work, and I have to painfully stretch it 3-5 times a day for a year...if I don't, my vagina closes up and I have just wasted $25,000...

-DISCLAIMER-Just to repeat, this is my personal opinion.

Until they can find a better way to create a vagina...SRS is not an option for me. I have time to wait until new technology is developed, I can deal with having a penis.

Respectfully,
-Skye

Oh you mean like transition but stay pre op. in that case I would say even more no way don't regret it. There are so many benefits to being post op. plus if your like me and don't allow back door access then post op is the way to go. Two thumbs up for being post op :)

Quote from: Lanalicious34 on May 30, 2013, 08:21:46 PM
I would like to know from the members here and please be 100% honest do any of you regret having srs?. I know people out there who get it done must feel this way and that its not all candy and roses. And wish maybe they should of kept that part of their body alone.

If you have had SRS and regret it please respond to this post. If you don't regret it please do not respond to this post.

Why do you want to know about the regrets?

This has been pretty informative. I'm still struggling with what parts of my body that I don't like.
Body hair, lack of breasts, and a somewhat masculine face are among them. My penis on they other hand has never hurt my feelings. However I do feel that I would want to not "tuck" often. And that my personal feelings on romantic relationships would be towards having a vigina instead of a penis that will at some point require meds just to produce an erection. I think I feel that the risk and pain is worth it. I'm well acquainted with how surgery recovery works and how best to improve ones recovery time so I should do well with it.

Decisions decisions...

Quote from: Skye-Blue on May 31, 2013, 02:19:53 PM
Until they can find a better way to create a vagina...SRS is not an option for me. I have time to wait until new technology is developed, I can deal with having a penis.

There is a better way. It's called the Davydov procedure. The vagina wall is created using the peritoneum and there is little dilation required. It can be retrofitted.

Quote from: Tristan on May 31, 2013, 03:15:58 PM
Oh you mean like transition but stay pre op. in that case I would say even more no way don't regret it. There are so many benefits to being post op.

Do I know about those benefits. Living fulltime, pre-op since '96 (HRT '94), I'm now well acquainted. Those benefits are huge.

Quote
plus if your like me and don't allow back door access then post op is the way to go.

Is the only way to go for me. There's no way my ex was going there, for dear life.

Quote from: Nicolette on May 31, 2013, 04:27:27 PM
Do I know about those benefits. Living fulltime, pre-op since '96 (HRT '94), I'm now well acquainted. Those benefits are huge.

Is the only way to go for me. There's no way my ex was going there, for dear life.

haha well i like the way you think.
the post op club is a fun one most of the time  >:-)

I´m surprised that I don´t regret after all I had to go through for this vagina and it even ended just a fingertip deep... Fistula, colostomy, urethra dilating, Ileus, heavy scar tissue. I was basically sick and in pain for a year.
I did it in Sweden. The gatekeeping is pretty rigorous but it is getting better all the time. I am rather androgynous and not heterosexual at all and it was just fine. But it took forever even though I had zero problems. The good thing is that it is almost for free. I would never have afforded the surgery privately.

Quote from: Nicolette on May 31, 2013, 04:19:03 PM
There is a better way. It's called the Davydov procedure. The vagina wall is created using the peritoneum and there is little dilation required. It can be retrofitted.

As far as I know from researching the website, it's not used for transsexual women...only women with shortened or nearly closed vaginas. So I'm doubtful the procedure would work the same for a transsexual woman.

If it did work for trans women...I would be tempted to take that route, assuming that they can also construct a vulva. Which still requires scrotal grafts...making electrolysis necessary...

Long painful sessions of self inflicted torture on the scrotum...yeah, still not worth it for me.

Overall...it's better...but it's questionable as to the results. Yes, I could get "retrofitted" but that also requires more money as well as regular SRS, which is too painful, too costly, and too risky for my comfort.

I think some people have a perception that SRS will change all of their life problems

Before having surgery, you have to be there.  You have to want the operation so desperately.  The operation needs to be the last fundamental change, not the first...I have seen people who have had SRS and couldn't understand why.  How were they referred, how could they possibly be feminine enough?  Well, it doesn't matter what I think or feel, the fact is men are being operated on today and their vagina's seem to be an added accessory.

I'm talking about the men who have surgery, not the men who stay as men but cross-dress or have occasional fantasies.

My suspicion is that our families have a lot to do with how we progress.  Love can, and does conquer these issues but it is our families who have to give us the support.  Without it we suffer and become tortured.

My surgery wasn't great, functional, not aesthetically pleasing...but it gave me the opportunity to complete my loving.  My family didn't.  The burden and the damage of that rejection started at the age of two.  No child should be put through a loveless childhood.

But, I made it!  Made myself too!  And some people have even said I have class.   :)

Quote from: Skye-Blue on May 31, 2013, 05:18:37 PM
If it did work for trans women...I would be tempted to take that route, assuming that they can also construct a vulva.

Well what trans women wouldn't want a fully functional female reproductive system? Fact is it isn't going to happen. Ever. Not in anybody who is on this boards lifetime at least. I know people talk about all kinds of magical surgery but I think for the next 30-50 years they will make advancements of the techniques that are around today but nothing approaching an actual female reproductive system. People have been trying since at least 250 BCE. The first trans woman I know of is Elagaba, a Roman emperor who employed all kinds of doctors to try and get her a vag. She was also the first trans woman to be murdered for being trans. Though Roman emperors tended to get offed no matter what. But that was the reason.

Take the cellphone. All it is is a glorified walkie talkie. The radio was created back in the early 1900s by Marconi. Since then the major advancement is the cellphone which is just tweaking of existing technology. However, if you're talking about a more sensate vagina, that will definitely happen in the next 20 or so years (though from what I hear it existing techniques create a very sensate neo-vagina so that shouldn't be a reason). There is only so much they can do. I guess if you had a donor they could take that tissue but I wouldn't count on there ever being donors for trans women when cis women will always come first. Unless you have money.

I could be wrong. I hope I am. But I am wanting to have SRS in the next five years or as soon as I can so I guess I don't matter. There is no way I'll regret it. It'll be the best day of my life. And it will solve all my major problem since my major problem is the fact I have a penis.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on May 31, 2013, 09:32:18 PM
People have been trying since at least 250 BCE. The first trans woman I know of is Elagaba, a Roman emperor who employed all kinds of doctors to try and get her a vag. She was also the first trans woman to be murdered for being trans. Though Roman emperors tended to get offed no matter what. But that was the reason.

Fascinating history.  Thank you.

From Cassius Dio (http://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/E/Roman/Texts/Cassius_Dio/80*.html#79-16)

Aurelius Zoticus, a native of Smyrna, whom they also called "Cook," after his father's trade, incurred the emperor's thorough love and thorough hatred, and for the latter reason his life was saved. 2 This Aurelius not only had a body that was beautiful all over, seeing that he was an athlete, but in particular he greatly surpassed all others in the size of his private parts. This fact was reported to the emperor by those who were on the look-out for such things, and the man was suddenly whisked away from the games and brought to Rome, accompanied by an immense escort, larger than Abgarus had had in the reign of Severus or Tiridates in that of Nero. 3 He was appointed cubicularius before he had even been seen by the emperor, was honoured by the name of the latter's grandfather, Avitus, was adorned with garlands as at a festival, and entered the palace lighted by the glare of many torches. Sardanapalus [the Emperor], on seeing him, sprang up with rhythmic movements, 4 and then, when Aurelius addressed him with the usual salutation, "My Lord Emperor, Hail!" he bent his neck so as to assume a ravishing feminine pose, and turning his eyes upon him with a melting gaze, answered without any hesitation: "Call me not Lord, for I am a Lady." 5 Then Sardanapalus immediately joined him in the bath, and finding him when stripped to be equal to his reputation, burned with even greater lust, reclined on his breast, and took dinner, like some loved mistress, in his bosom. 6 But Hierocles fearing that Zoticus would captivate the emperor more completely than he himself could, and that he might therefore suffer some terrible fate at his hands, as often happens in the case of rival lovers, caused the cup-bearers, who were well disposed p471toward him, to administer a drug that abated the other's manly prowess. And so Zoticus, after a whole night of embarrassment, being unable to secure an erection, was deprived of all the honours that he had received, and was driven out of the palace, out of Rome, and later out of the rest of Italy; and this saved his life.

7 He carried his lewdness to such a point that he asked the physicians to contrive a woman's vagina in his body by means of an incision, promising them large sums for doing so.

She was actually a very kind and generous emperor. The people loved her. It was the elites that hated her. She goes down bad in history because of her trans-ness. Mainly the historian Gibson who considered it to be a deviancy. And he literally wrote the book on Rome. I can't imagine what it must have been like to be trans before the 1920s when the Germans did something about it. I believe the Nazis killed all the surgeons who started the process or impoverished them. If not for that we'd prob be further along. That's why I think we need to be on guard and remember that if we won't fight for our rights who will? People think our rights and ability to transition can't or won't be taken away but history proves it can be.

Quote
Well what trans women wouldn't want a fully functional female reproductive system?

*Facepalm*

A non-op transsexual.

Can we not make broad statements that erase other people's identities and desires?

I also happen be non-op because I have no problem having a penis, not just because of the usual reasons that people are non-op. I would just prefer to be able to have a form of surgery that does not have a questionable success/quality rate for the mass amount of money it costs.

[Start Rant]
I would rather have a functional sensate penis, than a (possibly) mutilated high maintenance vagina, which may or may not have partial or full sensation, and may possible become infected, or close up if I can't keep a dilation a schedule. [Rant end]

No, I don't have extremely high expectations for the "magical vagina". For ME it is a complete waste of money for an irreversible surgery that may or may not turn out well. Not to mention the pain involved in the post op care.

Just not worth it for ME.

This is MY viewpoint, I do not expect your judgements to be the same as mine. I like my penis, you hate yours. Our situations are different.

All is good. I have no quarrel with thee. :)

-Skye

Quote from: Skye-Blue on May 31, 2013, 11:12:26 PM
*Facepalm*

A non-op transsexual.

Can we not make broad statements that erase other people's identities and desires?

Well sorry for not knowing your entire history. I went off the statement you made that you would consider having surgery if it was better. I'm not erasing your identity. It wasn't a generalization; I went off what you said. And I was speaking to everyone, not just you, as people bring up having a fully functional reproductive system often.

Quote from: Skye-Blue on May 31, 2013, 11:12:26 PM
I would rather have a functional sensate penis, than a (possibly) mutilated high maintenance vagina, which may or may not have partial or full sensation, and may possible become infected, or close up if I can't keep a dilation a schedule. [Rant end]

No, I don't have extremely high expectations for the "magical vagina". For ME it is a complete waste of money for an irreversible surgery that may or may not turn out well. Not to mention the pain involved in the post op care.

Mutilated???? Really?????

And yes if someone does not care enough to find two times a day to dilate for a year then they should not get surgery. I understand it's hard but if you really want it you will make it work. Obviously, this does not apply to you. In the future, I will remember you are non-op.

I'm kind of on the fence about wanting SRS sure it would be nice and before HRT I thought it necessary. But once I got on hormones my penis really doesn't bother me that much anymore most days I just tuck and forget its even there. But do I want it gone lord yes but would I go 25,000 in debt for it no. For me to spend 25 grand on a vagina that can't give me kids would I have to admit bring me much regret. I know unless I do something in life that brings me great wealth I'm not willing to take the financial risk for my future to get basically another hole in my body. Unless they bring down the price of these ops I'm out I love financial safety too much to jeopardize it!  ;)

In five years I am pretty sure SRS will be covered by a lot more insurers. A lot of corporations and colleges are leading the charge so cost won't be as big an issue in a short while, if the tide keeps turning the way it is. Plus if you make $40K a year: $10K for rent, $10K for expenses, $10K saved. Two years: SRS. It's four years if you make $20K. It's all about prioritizing. But I fully understand not everyone wants it and that is completely valid. For me, I'll never be GG. But I will get as close as I can get. It's the only thing I have ever wanted so it's a pretty big deal for someone like me.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 01, 2013, 12:37:11 AM
I'll never be GG. But I will get as close as I can get. It's the only thing I have ever wanted so it's a pretty big deal for someone like me.

Joanna I completely understand how you feel and up until recently it was a pretty big deal me too!

Quote from: Skye-Blue on May 31, 2013, 11:12:26 PM



[Start Rant]
than a (possibly) mutilated high maintenance vagina,

Aren't all vagina's high maintenance just look at all the things gg go through! Sorry just thought I would point that out.

fairly speaking srs is a largely invasive and major surgery. sure techniques have been refined over the years and nowadays there is a very good chance of getting an asthetically and functionally acceptable vag with an experienced surgeon. however, there is also a very good chance of developing complications postop, probably not fatal if you have access to developed healthcare, but most likely to be very painful and the possibility of going back for revisions. oh yeah and the dilation pain...so expect acute and chronic pain for at least around a year.
then there is the couple of mths downtime after surgery...and pain and stress when you do get back to work...all in all srs is not for the fainthearted and definitely not a stroll in the park.
with all that, ask yourself if it is really worthy going through the torturous exercise. and be realistic! a vag really only serve for the purpose of getting pounded, and any other aspect of life you are not happy about will probably not improve just because what's between your legs has changed. in fact, things may get worse because of your downtime and financial burdens.
just my 2cents from experience.

 :)Thank you so much for the honesty here.  We are all different and want different things.  However, if someone has gone through the "trouble" of having surgery, I feel they deserve the recognition for doing so.  I am legally female and that's important to me.  Sure, I have experienced the discrimination that comes with "not being physically defined" but many years ago...Of course I know it still happens today!  I've probably spent close to $100,000 to improve myself, over the years.  HRT is a wonderful non surgical tool, but not everyone can take this.  If I didn't have the money I couldn't have spent it, but I would still have had my surgery (because the government of my country paid for it)

There have been a few posts that are getting close to one of the critical ToS #10.

Let us all be a little careful and have a think of what our sisters (and brothers) may feel. This thread is about woman who have or  not have regrets post SRS. A sensible and important thread for many of us.

The site owner, Admins and all Global Mods are very strict on ToS#10 in particularly we will not tolerate: Suggesting or claiming that one segment or sub-segment of our community is more legitimate, deserving, or more real than any other.

Lets just think before we post

Thank you

Cindy

I do want to say that I respect everyone here.  Everyone! :) Regardless of where they are in their journey, or if they never even got there...We are all special and valuable irrespective of our situations.  We are, a family :)

Quote from: Skye-Blue on May 31, 2013, 05:18:37 PM
As far as I know from researching the website, it's not used for transsexual women...only women with shortened or nearly closed vaginas. So I'm doubtful the procedure would work the same for a transsexual woman.

If it did work for trans women...I would be tempted to take that route, assuming that they can also construct a vulva. Which still requires scrotal grafts...making electrolysis necessary...

Long painful sessions of self inflicted torture on the scrotum...yeah, still not worth it for me.

Overall...it's better...but it's questionable as to the results. Yes, I could get "retrofitted" but that also requires more money as well as regular SRS, which is too painful, too costly, and too risky for my comfort.

From what I gather, these days most surgeons do not need / do not want you to get electrolysis down there. They can clear the material directly during the operation, and prior electro makes it more difficult for them. My choice of surgeon may end up being significantly influenced by that...  :P

The procedure does look interesting though, and apart from needing the additional "build the outside"-component, it should be feasible for trans women too. I get the feeling that doctors usually do not go down that route though as:
a.) they already have some material to work with, might as well use it
b.) the depth.
9-11cm is what they give as the standard depth on the site. Thinking about how proud the various surgeons are to reach "amazing" depths ("17cm", "20cm", "with optimal conditions we have reached 23cm"), I wonder whether there might not be some strange remnant of penis envy involved, where depth of the vagina suddenly becomes this huge thing, with people aiming for unnecessary achievements...?  ::)

I had SRS in 1974 at the age of 24, almost 40 years ago.

From earliest childhood I had "severe body disphoria". I naturally and inherently identified as a girl long before I understood gender and was in constant danger of self-mutilation after the age of 8 when I understood the physical differences. Through my teens I lived a double life - pseudo-boy when I had to and girl the rest of the time - and luckily some hormonal abnormalities helped me stay quite androgynous . I was about 10 when I heard about Christine Jorgensen and wanted for all the world to follow in her footsteps. I was 15 before I ever heard the term transsexual and spent the next 9 years of my life chasing treatment. I started HRT at 17 but in 1966 there was nowhere to go with it. The only surgery was in Europe and was horribly expensive, WAY beyond my means. By my late teens I was highly suicidal because life was passing me by! I just wanted a normal (female) life in every way possible. (In those days there was NO legal recognition or tolerance before surgery.)

When SRS became a possibility at age 24 (1974) I jumped at the chance! It was my ONLY chance to survive.

SRS cost me every cent I had, got me disowned and banished from my home town but having nothing and being a girl was still WAY better than being dead forever! I never knew what freedom was until I walked out of the hospital as ME. (Yes, in those days you had to be young and passable to get surgery - my pre-surgical meeting with the doctor was more like an audition LOL!)

Life was not always a bed of roses, being alone in the world, no support network, starting over from nothing, but I was able to face all the hard times and the crisis that came along because I was ME, unfettered and uninhibited. I became the kind of woman I had always admired - outgoing, social, funny, vivacious, energetic, and sharp. I had not even suspected my potential prior to SRS.

Surgery was pretty primitive (by today's standards) but acceptable, good enough to rarely be questioned by intimate partners, which was far ahead of where I would have ended up with self-mutilation!

In over 39 years I have regretted many things but NEVER, not for a single moment, regretted SRS. I wish it had not cost me everything, both money and family, but still no regrets.

Everyone seems to be right. It is expensive,even if you go to Thailand it's like 6500-9k plus air fair and stuff. And it is a huge commitment the first year. Also the recovery the first 2-6 weeks can really test you mentally. But if you want it and are able to come up with the money I feel getting it is worth it. Any post op regret (even when you have minor complications ) go away soon. The pain in the butt of dilating so much the first year does suck but hey it comes with the territory. But having your new vagina is fun and comes with many benefits for all you wonderful ladies :)

For what ever is worth....

QuoteJ Sex Med. 2009 Oct;6(10):2736-45. doi: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01379.x. Epub 2009 Jul 10.

A report from a single institute's 14-year experience in treatment of male-to-female transsexuals.

Imbimbo C, Verze P, Palmieri A, Longo N, Fusco F, Arcaniolo D, Mirone V.


Source

University Federico II, Department of Urology, Naples, Italy.


Abstract


INTRODUCTION:

Gender identity disorder or transsexualism is a complex clinical condition, and prevailing social context strongly impacts the form of its manifestations. Sex reassignment surgery (SRS) is the crucial step of a long and complex therapeutic process starting with preliminary psychiatric evaluation and culminating in definitive gender identity conversion.

AIM:

The aim of our study is to arrive at a clinical and psychosocial profile of male-to-female transsexuals in Italy through analysis of their personal and clinical experience and evaluation of their postsurgical satisfaction levels SRS.

METHODS:

From January 1992 to September 2006, 163 male patients who had undergone gender-transforming surgery at our institution were requested to complete a patient satisfaction questionnaire.

MAIN OUTCOME MEASURES:

The questionnaire consisted of 38 questions covering nine main topics: general data, employment status, family status, personal relationships, social and cultural aspects, presurgical preparation, surgical procedure, and postsurgical sex life and overall satisfaction.

RESULTS:

Average age was 31 years old. Seventy-two percent had a high educational level, and 63% were steadily employed. Half of the patients had contemplated suicide at some time in their lives before surgery and 4% had actually attempted suicide. Family and colleague emotional support levels were satisfactory. All patients had been adequately informed of surgical procedure beforehand. Eighty-nine percent engaged in postsurgical sexual activities. Seventy-five percent had a more satisfactory sex life after SRS, with main complications being pain during intercourse and lack of lubrication. Seventy-eight percent were satisfied with their neovagina's esthetic appearance, whereas only 56% were satisfied with depth. Almost all of the patients were satisfied with their new sexual status and expressed no regrets.

CONCLUSIONS:

Our patients' high level of satisfaction was due to a combination of a well-conducted preoperative preparation program, competent surgical skills, and consistent postoperative follow-up.

J Am Acad Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 2001 Apr;40(4):472-81.

Adolescents with gender identity disorder who were accepted or rejected for sex reassignment surgery: a prospective follow-up study.

Smith YL, van Goozen SH, Cohen-Kettenis PT.


Source

Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, University Medical Center Utrecht, and Rudolph Magnus Institute for Neurosciences, Utrecht, The Netherlands.


Abstract


OBJECTIVE:

To conduct a prospective follow-up study with 20 treated adolescent transsexuals to evaluate early sex reassignment, and with 21 nontreated and 6 delayed-treatment adolescents to evaluate the decisions not to allow them to start sex reassignment at all or at an early age.

METHOD:

Subjects were tested on their psychological, social, and sexual functioning. Follow-up interviews were conducted from March 1995 until July 1999. Treated patients had undergone surgery 1 to 4 years before follow-up; nontreated patients were tested 1 to 7 years after application. Within the treated and the nontreated group, pre- and posttreatment data were compared. Results between the groups were also compared.

RESULTS:

Postoperatively the treated group was no longer gender-dysphoric and was psychologically and socially functioning quite well. Nobody expressed regrets concerning the decision to undergo sex reassignment. Without sex reassignment, the nontreated group showed some improvement, but they also showed a more dysfunctional psychological profile.

CONCLUSIONS:

Careful diagnosis and strict criteria are necessary and sufficient to justify hormone treatment in adolescent transsexuals. Even though some of the nontreated patients may actually have gender identity disorder, the high levels of psychopathology found in this group justify the decision to not start hormone treatment too soon or too easily.

I could had had SRS in my late 20's but I put it off in the name of having kids...this is a decision I do not regret at all!

Having said that ^^^ let me tell you that there is not a single day that goes by without me wishing my new "puss" was down there already...

Dying without my puss would be a big let down...

Give me a Puss or give me Death"

Quote
However, if someone has gone through the "trouble" of having surgery, I feel they deserve the recognition for doing so.

Wow...just wow...

Post op people don't need any "recognition", they chose to go through with it and spent the money...and they got a vagina out of it. It was their CHOICE to have SRS, it doesn't make them any better than non op or pre op transsexuals.

I reserve my right not to get SRS and not be shamed for it, and I allow pre op people their right to get SRS and not be shamed for it. We are equal, we just want different things....

Quote from: peky on June 01, 2013, 10:37:47 AM
J Am Acad Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 2001 Apr;40(4):472-81.

Adolescents with gender identity disorder who were accepted or rejected for sex reassignment surgery: a prospective follow-up study.

Smith YL, van Goozen SH, Cohen-Kettenis PT.


Source

Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, University Medical Center Utrecht, and Rudolph Magnus Institute for Neurosciences, Utrecht, The Netherlands.


Abstract


OBJECTIVE:

To conduct a prospective follow-up study with 20 treated adolescent transsexuals to evaluate early sex reassignment, and with 21 nontreated and 6 delayed-treatment adolescents to evaluate the decisions not to allow them to start sex reassignment at all or at an early age.

METHOD:

Subjects were tested on their psychological, social, and sexual functioning. Follow-up interviews were conducted from March 1995 until July 1999. Treated patients had undergone surgery 1 to 4 years before follow-up; nontreated patients were tested 1 to 7 years after application. Within the treated and the nontreated group, pre- and posttreatment data were compared. Results between the groups were also compared.

RESULTS:

Postoperatively the treated group was no longer gender-dysphoric and was psychologically and socially functioning quite well. Nobody expressed regrets concerning the decision to undergo sex reassignment. Without sex reassignment, the nontreated group showed some improvement, but they also showed a more dysfunctional psychological profile.

CONCLUSIONS:

Careful diagnosis and strict criteria are necessary and sufficient to justify hormone treatment in adolescent transsexuals. Even though some of the nontreated patients may actually have gender identity disorder, the high levels of psychopathology found in this group justify the decision to not start hormone treatment too soon or too easily.

Although the study does come from a cisgender persons perspective...so they think that other cis people might get "confused" and transition. Hence the old strict protocols that they enforce. Plus they aren't taking into account non-binary people. The study is interesting, but it's all from a binary perspective.

I think the regrets may be mostly due to overly high expectations. Plus, some transsexual people are in the middle like me.

Would I like to have a vagina? Yes. Would I miss my penis? Maybe. Would I be happy with the results for the cost/pain? Probably not.

So, if I got SRS, I know that the current surgeries would not be worth it to me. Logically you would have to be determined enough to save $25,000+, which would imply that you do in fact want SRS. So the amount of people with SRS regrets would be limited to wealthy people and people with free/nearly free SRS due to insurance. And the determined people that got the $25000+, some may not like what they got out of it because they didn't know the risks and limitations.

Quote from: Tristan on June 01, 2013, 08:13:49 AM
Everyone seems to be right. It is expensive,even if you go to Thailand it's like 6500-9k plus air fair and stuff. And it is a huge commitment the first year. Also the recovery the first 2-6 weeks can really test you mentally. But if you want it and are able to come up with the money I feel getting it is worth it. Any post op regret (even when you have minor complications ) go away soon. The pain in the butt of dilating so much the first year does suck but hey it comes with the territory. But having your new vagina is fun and comes with many benefits for all you wonderful ladies :)

Now that is a more reasonable price 25k no way 10k I could manage. If the quality of the surgery is on par with the states I'll probably go that route. :)

Quote from: Heather on June 01, 2013, 12:23:13 PM
Now that is a more reasonable price 25k no way 10k I could manage. If the quality of the surgery is on par with the states I'll probably go that route. :)

Yeah Heather. I think most srs don't cost $25,000. I didn't pay even close to that last year and I'm very happy with the result. I actually regret not doing it sooner. I remember 10-12 years ago I did some research, Dr. Preecha (who is kinda pioneer srs surgeon, most thai drs learn from him) only charged $4-5,000 for a complete package of BA, SRS & tracheal shave!! My friend had Suporn long before he had reputation and she paid less than $3,000. Of course, now that both are world famous, the cost is through the roof.

Quote from: mintra on June 01, 2013, 12:35:44 PM
Yeah Heather. I think most srs don't cost $25,000. I didn't pay even close to that last year and I'm very happy with the result. I actually regret not doing it sooner. I remember 10-12 years ago I did some research, Dr. Preecha (who is kinda pioneer srs surgeon, most thai drs learn from him) only charged $4-5,000 for a complete package of BA, SRS & tracheal shave!! My friend had Suporn long before he had reputation and she paid less than $3,000. Of course, now that both are world famous, the cost is through the roof.

Yeah I about had a stroke with the 25k thing!  :laugh: It may cost more now but it does sound way more reasonable than 25k.  Your friend got lucky only 3k wow! :o  Once I'm ready and have the money I'll more than likely go this route. :)

Yeah 25k would be like the Bently of vaginas. Alot of good surgeons outside if the states charge way less. It's so expensive state side because of the insurance. 7-10k will get you a really good vagina ;)

Most all US Surgeons total cost for SRS ranges from $25,000-$30,000. This includes Bowers, McGinn, Brassard, Meltzer. There are a few slightly more and less expensive here in the USA, but this is the median price range. Thai prices have been steadily creeping up as well.

Quote from: Tristan on June 01, 2013, 01:11:39 PM
Yeah 25k would be like the Bently of vaginas. Alot of good surgeons outside if the states charge way less. It's so expensive state side because of the insurance. 7-10k will get you a really good vagina ;)

I consider mine more like a Ferrari F12 Berlinetta... So it was worth it. My bf agrees too.  ;)

I can't imagine spending $25,000 on something I wasn't absolutely certain of.  It really boggles my mind.  I can't imagine when I will have that amount of money available, but I will do my best as it is important to me.  To randomly squander it without major consideration is really foolish. 

There is no shame in not wanting SRS or wanting SRS.  It is up to the individual.  SRS is something I want to have in the future when I'm able to afford it and further along in my transition.  I know plenty of people who are happy and report that everything works quite well  ;)  Sure, there are risks, but they are worth it to me.  If you don't feel the same way, that's cool.  Do what you want.  Screw everyone else.  If you don't want it, don't feel pressured into getting it.  But, also realize that there are those of us who really desire to get it done and it's important to us.  Respect all the different shades of our community. 

Hi all,
For a person who is still trying to make up her mind about GRS, this has been a very interesting thread to read and before going any further, thanks to all for your contributions, especially those who are already over the hump.

For me, the experience of HRT and FFS have already eliminated any remaining doubts I might have had about transitioning. I now know for sure that I am far happier living as a woman. Based on this, if GRS could be done with a wave of a magic wand, it would already be done. Unfortunately, that is not the case so I am really thinking hard  about the pros and cons.

The Pros for me are as follows:

- Eliminating the last obstacle to being able to live comfortably as a woman under pretty well any circomstances including events like hospitalisation and any other situation requiring complete undress.
- The conviction that it will bring an even greater feeling of wholeness and inner integrity than I feel today.
- Facilitation of getting my gender changed officially. It's no longer a formal prerequisite  but to get any of your official papers changed in France, you still  have to go through a court procedure where the judge has complete power of decision. If you cannot convince them that you have made major physical changes, and in this area GRS carries more weight than anything else, many, if not most, will still still reject the request.
- Being able to wear any sort of clothes I like, already almost the case, but there are still some exceptions... :)


The Cons  are more generic:
- The significant risks associated with such surgery where there nearly always seem to be some complications, far more than with FFS.
- The amount of time required, apparently almost never less than two months and often a lot more. I'm not at all sure I can get this amount of time off from work.
- The impact it could have on my relationship with my wife. She has already digested huge changes but this last one would take us even further into uncharted territory.
- The cost but I think the costs that are being quoted here are probably on the high side. For information, here are some recent prices I am sure of:

Brassard: $19000 (including 14 days hospital + medicalized recovery house)
Supporn: $15600 (includes hospital stay but not pre and post-op accomodation)
Djordjevic $13000 (including hospital stay and pre & post-op accomodation)
Chettawut $10200 (includes hospital stay but not pre and post-op accomodation)

I personally know people who have done surgery with all of these surgeons and I'd find it difficult to chose between them based on their input. So, if I do go ahead it will be based on  gut instinct more than anything else. On that basis, Djordjevic presently comes out on top for me.

One thing is for sure, to avoid regrets, it is best to think through as many of the  potential consequences as possible before taking the plunge. Incidentally, I also know one person who has already tried to take her life twice since doing her GRS. It was not the GRS that did it directly but the impact the GRS had on her relationship with her wife. It finished it.

For what it's worth, in spite of the above considerations, my therapist told me this week that she would be OK to recommend me for GRS should I wish as she believes that I have taken things gradually enough to know what I am doing...

Warm regards to all you fellow travellers.
Donna

So just figured something out. From what your all saying you have the choice to get srs? It's not determined that you need it and have to have it by doctors and such?

Quote from: Tristan on June 01, 2013, 03:02:48 PM
So just figured something out. From what your all saying you have the choice to get srs? It's not determined that you need it and have to have it by doctors and such?

As with anything in life Tristan are choices are not made by us. They are made for us by the amount of money we have. Yeah it's unfair but society is built around the premise it's not who you are but how much wealth you have that makes are decisions for us. So with that knowledge I have to get more money or learn to deal with my problems and that really the only choice I have in this world.

Quote from: Heather on June 01, 2013, 03:14:27 PM
As with anything in life Tristan are choices are not made by us. They are made for us by the amount of money we have. Yeah it's unfair but society is built around the premise it's not who you are but how much wealth you have that makes are decisions for us. So with that knowledge I have to get more money or learn to deal with my problems and that really the only choice I have in this world.

I don't think this is what Tristan is saying. The actual choice to have SRS (regardless of funds) is completely up to us, no one else. A doctor cannot know what is best for us. And no, you don't have to have SRS to live as a woman.

Quote from: Tristan on June 01, 2013, 03:02:48 PM
So just figured something out. From what your all saying you have the choice to get srs? It's not determined that you need it and have to have it by doctors and such?

Hi Tristan. I understood this the same way as Nicolette and would answer  the same thing as her.. Nobody but me will decide if and when I do GRS. Others may help me make my decision, among others all of you here,  and  my wife's input probably counts more than any other external input but, end of the day, we always have to make our own decisions.
Are you suggesting it was not your own case? If you have that impression, it could well explain the initial reactions after your GRS that you described in your first posts on this thread.
Warm regards.
Donna

Quote from: Nicolette on June 01, 2013, 03:20:59 PM
I don't think this is what Tristan is saying.

Yeah I thought about that after I posted that! And I wasn't upset with Tristan in anyway when I posted that! But the truth is whether I get a docs permission or not the choice is kind of out my hands which I hate but it's the truth and I kinda have to accept that. :)

Quote from: Heather on June 01, 2013, 03:47:56 PM
Yeah I thought about that after I posted that! And I wasn't upset with Tristan in anyway when I posted that! But the truth is whether I get a docs permission or not the choice is kind of out my hands which I hate but it's the truth and I kinda have to accept that. :)

:laugh: Personally, I don't think you will have a problem getting that permission. As you say, it could be more of a money issue.

I actually saved around $25K for surgery in 2008. Then I spent it. I hate myself. I worked my butt of ever since I was 21 to compile it and now here I am 10 years later with nothing. To be fair, I did think I would make a whole lot more money and there was every reason to believe that. Then the economy imploded after Lehman. That's how I refer to my life: Before September 2008 and After. But I have no choice but start over. What else can I do? Like I said, I am confident insurers will be covering SRS in much greater numbers and soon.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 01, 2013, 04:03:25 PM
Like I said, I am confident insurers will be covering SRS in much greater numbers and soon.

I always find http://www.hrc.org/corporate-equality-index/ (http://www.hrc.org/corporate-equality-index/) to be quite an uplifting read in that respect. If you look at page 28 of the 2013 report, then you will see that "The number of major employers offering transgender-inclusive health care coverage" has increased almost by a factor of six over the last five years alone. :)

Kia Ora,

Not to hog the OP's thread(It saves me doing another similar thread)

Some simple questions for all you "full timer" pre oppers...

Leaving aside the possibility of any surgical complications...

What makes you 'think' you 'won't' regret having surgery ?...

What's happening in your daily lives that's affirming your decision to have surgery?

Have you mentally and physically prepared yourself ?

And what impact will surgery have on your daily life as it stand now ?

In a nutshell "Why do you think having surgery is the 'right' thing for you to do ?"

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Kuan Yin on June 01, 2013, 04:21:50 PM
Kia Ora,

Not to hog the OP's thread(It saves me doing another similar thread)

Some simple questions for all you "full timer" pre oppers...

Leaving aside the possibility of any surgical complications...

What makes you 'think' you 'won't' regret having surgery ?...

What's happening in your daily lives that's affirming your decision to have surgery?

Have you mentally and physically prepared yourself ?

And what impact will surgery have on your daily life as it stand now ?

In a nutshell "Why do you think having surgery is the 'right' thing for you to do ?"

Metta Zenda :)

Bonsoir Kuan (pas de raison à ce que tu sois seule à ne pas causer en anglais ici...  :))
For starters it was still raining this morning and there have been many reports of "unidentified floating ark"  sightings over the last 24 hours... Other than that I tried to provide my own answers to the question you have just raised a few posts earlier and, since I think  I remember reading that are are post-op, at decision making time what was your own answer to the question?
Bises
Donna   

P.S. Just read your post where you say that it was the availability of Government funding that finally decided you but that can hardly have been the whole story?

Quote from: Kuan Yin on June 01, 2013, 04:21:50 PM
Not to hog the OP's thread(It saves me doing another similar thread)

The OP has regrettably left. I am sure she had a lot of knowledge to offer.

Quote from: Kuan Yin on June 01, 2013, 04:21:50 PM
Kia Ora,

QuoteGreat questions "Kia Ora"

What makes you 'think' you 'won't' regret having surgery ?...

QuotePat experience...regrets I have a few but then again to few to mention

What's happening in your daily lives that's affirming your decision to have surgery?

QuoteMy daily live is but a series of calculated risk...so far so good

Have you mentally and physically prepared yourself ?

QuoteNot really. Mentally, I know the procedure and the task at hand, is just a question of implementation. Physically I am as healthy as when I was 20 YO

And what impact will surgery have on your daily life as it stand now ?

Quotevery  little. I will have like everybody else make time for the dilations

In a nutshell "Why do you think having surgery is the 'right' thing for you to do ?"

QuoteBecause I say so.....Is not that the way everything we decide about our own destiny works? I never acted on other peoples permission's or acknowledgments...Yet, I will consider their points of views but at the end of the day I am responsible for my own actions

Metta Zenda :)

 :-\Two men in their 60s meet for the first time and discuss their respective sex changes, and subsequent reversals. :-\

Regretters...a film made in 2010.  The idea that I could ever change and become a man,...is unbelievable.  I have tried to view this documentary on line but without success, I can only access trailers.

My surgery saved my life.

Saved my life!

(Haven't we come a long way from calling "it" a sex-change?)  At least it defines what was done, whereas today, the only way to know someone has had this surgery is if they specifically refer to having had GRS or SRS.  Otherwise they are loosely referred to as transexual, or transgender etc.

Here is the IMDB page.  Apparently the original name of the documentary(?) was "Ångrarna."  It is a Swedish film.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1590252/releaseinfo?ref_=tt_dt_dt#akas (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1590252/releaseinfo?ref_=tt_dt_dt#akas)

Oh wow. That's awful. I so had it all wrong. I thought there was some sort of funding or something to help with srs and that doctors kind of decided it. Is it different for some like if your a juvenile ? I mean I know I had issues when I was young and the psychiatric facility doctors pretty much told me it was the only want for me to really get better and get out. Idk maybe I miss understood. I thought it was kind if like that for everyone that needed to transition. Sorry for me being so ignorant girls :(

Quote from: Donna Elvira on June 01, 2013, 04:31:02 PM

Bonsoir Kuan (pas de raison à ce que tu sois seule à ne pas causer en anglais ici...  :))
For starters it was still raining this morning and there have been many reports of "unidentified floating ark"  sightings over the last 24 hours... Other than that I tried to provide my own answers to the question you have just raised a few posts earlier and, since I think  I remember reading that are are post-op, at decision making time what was your own answer to the question?
Bises
Donna   

P.S. Just read your post where you say that it was the availability of Government funding that finally decided you but that can hardly have been the whole story?

Kia Ora Donna,
(It's going to be 17 and it's sunny and I'm just off the the local book fair-it's the Queen's birthday weekend-so long weekend) :)

When I was first diagnosed by a psychiatrist he asked if I had thought about having surgery, and my answer was not really, I had no 'sexual interest, I was just feeling the 'need' to live more of an authentic life ie, being seen and treated as a female...

However as time past, I got to thinking perhaps it would be a good idea if I could remove the obviously male identifiable object that still persists...It wasn't a 'major' issue -just an obvious reminder, but one I could comfortably live with if I had to...

As far as 'legal' recognition was concerned, in the UK the Gender Recognition Bill had just been proposed,(I was born in the UK) so my thoughts were I could soon have all the legal documents changed without surgery anyway ...But at a leisurely pace I still thought of the possible ways to have it removed(Bearing in mind I didn't have funds to pay for the removal myself)...

I contacted a couple of local surgeons who had previous experience with genital surgery (one use to do 'part' surgeries where he would reshape downstairs so it looked like the real thing but no entry point, just a pee hole)  I offer myself as a  "guinea pig", but was told they didn't need to 'experiment' on non-paying volunteers in order to improve their technique...The other no longer performed this type of surgery...

It finally struck me that there were people who needed kidney transplants and so I thought why not give up a kidney in exchange for having the penis removed (It made a lot of sense at the time) I would be giving a person in need the opportunity for a 'better quality of life' plus I would be rid of a persistent foreign body...

I wrote to a politician with my proposal and she kindly replied saying, for something like this to happen it would need to go before the ethics committee and she said she didn't think it would be approved, but she had passed my letter onto Georgina Beyers ( Who had had gender reassignment surgery) she was at the time a Labour politician...

Georgina provided me with information about the government funding scheme that was in place for gender reassignments...I saw my endo and the rest is history... 

Genital surgery for me was not really a "necessity" it was just a bonus...I had already accomplished my goal of living an authentic life style...Surgery was just the 'icing on the cake'... ;)

BTW I had no choice in what kind of surgery I had, it was "colonvaginoplasty" or nothing... But I'm not complaining I'm happy with the results :) Plus "Beggars can't be choosers"  ;)



Metta Zenda :)

Thread posted 30MAY13 and starter is GUEST status already????

Hummm . . . Have regretted some alleged trans "friends" but never simply wanting to be "just me".

Quote from: Kuan Yin on June 01, 2013, 06:06:55 PMBTW I had no choice in what kind of surgery I had, it was "colovaginoplasty" or nothing... But I'm not complaining I'm happy with the results :) Plus "Beggars can't be choosers"  ;)

*sigh* Often thought the same thing what remains "down there" is 'lil more than an useless annoyance wouldn't mind just the proper appearance without all the pain of "functionality" . . . ( and that seems to be what troll was getting at? )

Quote from: Tristan on June 01, 2013, 06:01:26 PM
Oh wow. That's awful. I so had it all wrong. I thought there was some sort of funding or something to help with srs and that doctors kind of decided it. Is it different for some like if your a juvenile ? I mean I know I had issues when I was young and the psychiatric facility doctors pretty much told me it was the only want for me to really get better and get out. Idk maybe I miss understood. I thought it was kind if like that for everyone that needed to transition. Sorry for me being so ignorant girls :(

Hi Tristan,
Really nothing to apologize about, on the contrary, as this makes  your earlier posts far easier to understand.  To be honest, if things happened in the manner you suggest ie. that you were more or less pressured into doing GRS, I can only say that I am pretty flabbergasted. I know they do that sort of thing in Iran with homosexuels but wouldn't have imagined for a second that it happened in places that consider themselves to be more enlightened.
Happily it also sounds like it ended out be a good decision for you but I am still amazed, if not to say shocked, by the process.
Warm regards.
Donna.

P.S. I assume from other posts that your FFS was on your own initiative or was that also included in the package that was "recommended" to you?

Quote from: Kuan Yin on June 01, 2013, 06:06:55 PM
Kia Ora Donna,
(It's going to be 17 and it's sunny and I'm just off the the local book fair-it's the Queen's birthday weekend-so long weekend) :)

When I was first diagnosed by a psychiatrist he asked if I had thought about having surgery, and my answer was not really, I had no 'sexual interest, I was just feeling the 'need' to live more of an authentic life ie, being seen and treated as a female...

However as time past, I got to thinking perhaps it would be a good idea if I could remove the obviously male identifiable object that still persists...It wasn't a 'major' issue -just an obvious reminder, but one I could comfortably live with if I had to...

Bonjour Kuan, enfin le soleil dans l'est de la France!
To which I should no doubt add, "Happy Queen's birhtday"! Actually, from up here it sounds like you people will use any excuse available to take time off and go have a party... :)

Other than that, your story is quite amazing. We are in a very similar place regarding attitude to GRS but I hadn't yet thought of writing to a poltician suggesting that I might donate one of my other body parts in exchange for penis removal. As I have my thinking hat on this morning, it has just crossed my mind that should I go down this path, maybe I should suggest donating my, err....penis?   But no, that wouldn't work either, would it...? :)

More seriously, it does sound like you just went with the flow and that sounds good to me. With a big Asian influence in my life, my thinking has gone very much in this direction and I no longer try to force issues as much as I used to in the past. I find it is better to let situations mature until you arrive at a point where solutions more or less impose themselves. It doesn't mean being passive, I'm not. It mostly means being observant and knowing when the time is right.

With that, time to go out and do some roller blading before getting a lunch which will certainly be taken on the balcony today... :D
Bises
Donna

Quote from: Donna Elvira on June 02, 2013, 03:15:10 AM
Bonjour Kuan, enfin le soleil dans l'est de la France!
To which I should no doubt add, "Happy Queen's birhtday"! Actually, from up here it sounds like you people will use any excuse available to take time off and go have a party... :)

Other than that, your story is quite amazing. We are in a very similar place regarding attitude to GRS but I hadn't yet thought of writing to a poltician suggesting that I might donate one of my other body parts in exchange for penis removal. As I have my thinking hat on this morning, it has just crossed my mind that should I go down this path, maybe I should suggest donating my, err....penis?   But no, that wouldn't work either, would it...? :)

More seriously, it does sound like you just went with the flow and that sounds good to me. With a big Asian influence in my life, my thinking has gone very much in this direction and I no longer try to force issues as much as I used to in the past. I find it is better to let situations mature until you arrive at a point where solutions more or less impose themselves. It doesn't mean being passive, I'm not. It mostly means being observant and knowing when the time is right.

With that, time to go out and do some roller blading before getting a lunch which will certainly be taken on the balcony today... :D
Bises
Donna

Bonjour Donna, et bon déjeuner,

suivre le mouvement is the only way to go !

http://www.dol.govt.nz/er/holidaysandleave/publicholidays/publicholidaydates/future-dates.asp (http://www.dol.govt.nz/er/holidaysandleave/publicholidays/publicholidaydates/future-dates.asp)  The Aussies have more holidays than we do...Mind you my life's one big holiday-even when I'm having to work  ;) ;D

BTW The book fair was good(Book fairs are always good for a book worm like myself) I picked up a few books:
"Beyond The Frontiers Of The Mind" Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
"The Age Of Reason" Jean-Paul Sartre
"The Blind WatchMaker" Richard Dawkins and one for a friend
"The Tao Of Psychology" Jean Shinoda Bolen

Metta Zenda :)

Ångrarna or The regretters is a filmed conversation between two men who both had GRS for the wrong reasons. They have very different stories and had transition in different decades. One of them is a gay man who had his surgery very early, something like the beginning of 70´s. The thing was that he is a "feminine" gay man and in the 60´s in Sweden there was not such a broad spectrum of identities to choose from in society. To have GRS had to do with fitting in. He was happily married for a long time and his husband did not know but in the end he told when they already where braking up. He now lives a very open life in Stockholm and is known by his characteristic red velvet suit. He seems to have accepted everything and seems happy.
The other man transitioned in late 90´s and is a completely different story. He actually was just very lonely guy and was cross dressing and somehow got in to going all the way to GRS. It is a very complex story with him but clear is that he was not sure about it and I mean really not sure through the whole process. And he had not reflected enough on everything. He rolled in to surgery being unsure and woke up with the thought that he had made a big mistake! I don´t like labelling peoples life's as tragic but this really is. So it was about different pressure from outside and inside that didn´t have to do with problems with the genitals.
It was actually first put up as a play where two actors reanacted the meeting the two men had. The film was released after a year or two when one of them was ready for it.
I thought it was very good to see it. I was questioning myself all the time even if I felt sure about surgery.

Quote from: Donna Elvira on June 02, 2013, 03:00:00 AM
Hi Tristan,
Really nothing to apologize about, on the contrary, as this makes  your earlier posts far easier to understand.  To be honest, if things happened in the manner you suggest ie. that you were more or less pressured into doing GRS, I can only say that I am pretty flabbergasted. I know they do that sort of thing in Iran with homosexuels but wouldn't have imagined for a second that it happened in places that consider themselves to be more enlightened.
Happily it also sounds like it ended out be a good decision for you but I am still amazed, if not to say shocked, by the process.
Warm regards.
Donna.

P.S. I assume from other posts that your FFS was on your own initiative or was that also included in the package that was "recommended" to you?

Thant you I'm so glad I did not offend you or anyone else. But yeah I guess that's kind of what it was? I mean I don't think I was every gay and so many people have told me I did have issues when I was younger so it must be true? I know I can remember some of it and I did have a hard time learning to be a boy. But in the end I'm not really sure so much of my childhood is fuzzy at best. Everything did turn out well I'm happy and always thought that those who were able to transition young and have srs at some point ended up happy too. But I guess really are different from person to person . One more thing as far as like depression, regret and fear of being yourself aka true gender MMECT and like anti depressants or anti psychotics are commonly prescribed to transsexuals for a while right? Like before srs

Quote from: Julo on June 02, 2013, 04:59:51 AM
Ångrarna or The regretters is a filmed conversation between two men who both had GRS for the wrong reasons. They have very different stories and had transition in different decades. One of them is a gay man who had his surgery very early, something like the beginning of 70´s. The thing was that he is a "feminine" gay man and in the 60´s in Sweden there was not such a broad spectrum of identities to choose from in society. To have GRS had to do with fitting in. He was happily married for a long time and his husband did not know but in the end he told when they already where braking up. He now lives a very open life in Stockholm and is known by his characteristic red velvet suit. He seems to have accepted everything and seems happy.
The other man transitioned in late 90´s and is a completely different story. He actually was just very lonely guy and was cross dressing and somehow got in to going all the way to GRS. It is a very complex story with him but clear is that he was not sure about it and I mean really not sure through the whole process. And he had not reflected enough on everything. He rolled in to surgery being unsure and woke up with the thought that he had made a big mistake! I don´t like labelling peoples life's as tragic but this really is. So it was about different pressure from outside and inside that didn´t have to do with problems with the genitals.
It was actually first put up as a play where two actors reanacted the meeting the two men had. The film was released after a year or two when one of them was ready for it.
I thought it was very good to see it. I was questioning myself all the time even if I felt sure about surgery.

Thanks for the plot summary.

Quote from: Tristan on June 02, 2013, 06:22:30 AM
One more thing as far as like depression, regret and fear of being yourself aka true gender MMECT and like anti depressants or anti psychotics are commonly prescribed to transsexuals for a while right? Like before srs

Hi again Tristan,
In answer to your question, just reading all the posts here is enough to understand that a lot, if not most,   of us have been treated with anti-depressants at some stage in our lives but the extent & frequency  of such treatment probably varies a lot from person to person, just like pretty well every aspect of this journey.
I'd be far less sure regarding anti-psychotics,  which is a totally different issue.
Is there another question behind your question?
Warm regards.
Donna

Quote from: Donna Elvira on June 02, 2013, 09:32:58 AM
Hi again Tristan,
In answer to your question, just reading all the posts here is enough to understand that a lot, if not most,   of us have been treated with anti-depressants at some stage in our lives but the extent & frequency  of such treatment probably varies a lot from person to person, just like pretty well every aspect of this journey.
I'd be far less sure regarding anti-psychotics,  which is a totally different issue.
Is there another question behind your question?
Warm regards.
Donna

Um... No not really , I was just trying to compare some of us and things. Idk I was just curious because so many people seem to be sad or un happy, even after surgeries. I was starting to thing if the did radical inpatient treatment long term like 2-3 years as well with med and MMECT maybe it would help them too but from reading some of the post I'm thinking not many adults would be willing to do that or maybe if might not work as well for them with like depression or srs regret that's all

Idk I'm probably way off again though. Just trying to think about what could be of assistance in helping others be happy and make everything all better for them to with no really bad past memories

Kia Ora Tristan,

I had to goggle search to find out what MMECT stood for = "multiple monitored electroconvulsive treatment". is that what's commonly known as the electric shock treatment ?

@ Julio, Thanks for the info on the documentary, I really like how the Scandinavians produce films/documentaries there's a rawness (a Bluntness) to them-which is really refreshing ...

Metta Zenda :)

Oh yeah it is. ECT. Just they do it more for two points. I was just wondering if it helped others too but yeah I think I'm off in that?

Quote from: Tristan on June 02, 2013, 11:28:50 AM
Um... No not really , I was just trying to compare some of us and things. Idk I was just curious because so many people seem to be sad or un happy, even after surgeries. I was starting to thing if the did radical inpatient treatment long term like 2-3 years as well with med and MMECT maybe it would help them too but from reading some of the post I'm thinking not many adults would be willing to do that or maybe if might not work as well for them with like depression or srs regret that's all

Hi Tristan. Like Kuan, I had to do a Google search on MMECT and can only say that it looks like you went through a few things that most of us have not experienced. I have no wish to pry so maybe you would like to leave it at that.
However if you have other questions which might  help you better understand your own experience compared to others, there is the potential to get a lot of answers here.
Take care.
Donna

Ok. Thank you ladies I was just a little curious. :)