Is it possible to get an appointment for hrt at no charge??
My dysphoria has only gotten worse the past month and I'm at my wits end of trying to be able to finance the only chance I have is if there are doctors or clinics that do hrt for free. Please any help is appreciated.
I do not believe you can recieve free medical anything, per say, but if you qualify for Medicare or Medicaid in United States (or similar programs in other countries) you may be eligible to receive free or highly reduced health insurance. Many health insurance plans (I believe almost all in the United States) cover transgender transition-related care, including HRT, and I am pretty sure that government Medicare/Medicaid plans fall under that category. If you do not qualify for a low or no cost health insurance plan I do not know what to tell you, but if my assumptions are correct and you cannot access HRT due to low income you would most likely be eligible for such services.
Good Luck!
Unfortuantly here in Tennessee single low income adults aren't eligible for anything I thought about moving to Washington State so I could get on their medicaid but that would mean becoming homeless :(
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 04, 2016, 08:58:56 PM
Unfortuantly here in Tennessee single low income adults aren't eligible for anything I thought about moving to Washington State so I could get on their medicaid but that would mean becoming homeless :(
Its always Cali, washington state , nyc , , conneticut ...only one would be good if you were to be homeless and thats california for the weather ...
It's a shame they're so expensive to live and being progressive states you think their legislatures would address the issues and make their states more affordable
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 04, 2016, 10:11:13 PM
It's a shame they're so expensive to live and being progressive states you think their legislatures would address the issues and make their states more affordable
Huge social programs take a good deal of money to support. The government gets this money from the people in the form of taxes and high taxes drive business away and raise prices. You can't have big government and low prices at the same time.
By your profile pic, are you a veteran. I get my HRT from the VA for free. It may take a few months to set up but worth it.
Quote from: Hannah.Emma on June 04, 2016, 10:19:03 PM
By your profile pic, are you a veteran. I get my HRT from the VA for free. It may take a few months to set up but worth it.
I apologize for my profile pic being misleading I never served in the military my picture is of a fictional air unit in a video game called "Ace Combat". I just happen to be a huge fan of the series.
Quote from: Dena on June 04, 2016, 10:18:50 PM
Huge social programs take a good deal of money to support. The government gets this money from the people in the form of taxes and high taxes drive business away and raise prices. You can't have big government and low prices at the same time.
I believe they can still do more to lower costs of living
You can find relatively affordable pockets in even expensive states. For example I live in California which of course is ridiculously expensive but I live in a rural area which when compared to the rest of the state is dirt cheap. I don't make a lot of money but I can manage. It may require a little driving to get places but you can take advantage of the state programs you are looking for.
I was wondering if you can give some examples of places
Well, when I was in PA, I went to a clinic with a sliding scale based on income. I think I paid $20 to get my letter.
I later got on Medicaid and that covered all Doctor visits and most of my drugs. I had to pay for half of my estrogen because the insurance wouldn't approve the dosage. The doctor told me about an app for your phone called good rx if gives you coupon codes and the prices with the coupon. That helped a lot.
Now I've had to move to New Mexico. When I got here, all my prescriptions were running out, so I made my first stop the transgender center of New Mexico. The wrote me prescriptions and did it for free as I'm technically homeless.
I was able to get my spiro at no cost at their healthcare for the homeless clinic. I still get my patches at Walmart using the coupons, so that's a little tough, but still only around $25 for 4 patches. It only lasts two weeks though.
For what it's worth, Albuquerque isn't too bad and once I get back on Medicaid, things should be a lot easier.
Keep looking online and consider all your options.
Oh yeah, I was able to have the doctor at the healthcare for the homeless fill out the form for the gender change on my drivers license.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 04, 2016, 10:29:09 PM
I believe they can still do more to lower costs of living
Since you i am guessing low income (maybe getting a government check monthly ? ) have you thought bout signing onto a section 8 program ...Salem ,oregon one is always open and you can app for it ... my friend got hers that way since nobody would hire her here in alaska since she is trans ... the wait list not that long ...
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 05, 2016, 12:33:26 AM
I was wondering if you can give some examples of places
I'm only familiar with southern California but desert communities and mountain communities can be fairly affordable. I live in the mountains myself and the rents here 1/3 of what they are closer to the coast (where everybody wants to live). The desert is also fairly cheap, especially out in the boonies. Of course, the farther you get from the big cities the less accepting the local people will be but that might not be a huge change from Tennessee.
Quote from: TinaVane on June 05, 2016, 01:50:43 AM
Since you i am guessing low income (maybe getting a government check monthly ? ) have you thought bout signing onto a section 8 program ...Salem ,oregon one is always open and you can app for it ... my friend got hers that way since nobody would hire her here in alaska since she is trans ... the wait list not that long ...
Hmmmm could you give some more insight possibly??
Also at this point I've given up on trying to get a job it's just too hard for someone like me to want to earn a living when even fast food places don't wanna hire me.
Again. Here in Albuquerque the cost of living isn't horrible and I managed to find a job too.
Granted that this job is telemarketing and your only paid for setting appointments. I have made some money and I think I'll get better at it. No one sees me on the phone so appearance doesn't matter.
Funny thing is that this company is really Christian. As in they pray every morning and the have religious quotes on their paper work. However, when I applied for the job I asked them if they were the kind and accepting type of Christians. Obviously they are and I don't worry about my appearance at all. Came in to work Friday with freshly dyed hair and red fingernail polish. The only comment I got was from another woman asking about my hair and then we talked about hair dye and places to get styled for a reasonable price.
I'm really happy with the people here in Albuquerque. I get some strange looks sometimes but no one has been mean at all.
Quote from: StevieC9 on June 05, 2016, 03:35:29 PM
Again. Here in Albuquerque the cost of living isn't horrible and I managed to find a job too.
Granted that this job is telemarketing and your only paid for setting appointments. I have made some money and I think I'll get better at it. No one sees me on the phone so appearance doesn't matter.
Funny thing is that this company is really Christian. As in they pray every morning and the have religious quotes on their paper work. However, when I applied for the job I asked them if they were the kind and accepting type of Christians. Obviously they are and I don't worry about my appearance at all. Came in to work Friday with freshly dyed hair and red fingernail polish. The only comment I got was from another woman asking about my hair and then we talked about hair dye and places to get styled for a reasonable price.
I'm really happy with the people here in Albuquerque. I get some strange looks sometimes but no one has been mean at all.
Sadly all cost of living in cities is horrible in my book the only way I'll ever be able to afford to live in a city including Albuquerque is if I won the lottery and I'm not lucky enough to work a job where you only get paid on commission. Wish I could do it but with the way my life goes it's not but thanks for the suggestion.
Like others have said. If you live in the outskirts and can drive a little ways, it's even cheaper.
Good luck with your quest. You'll figure something out. Just don't give up.
Another problem I have is that I can't drive. I'm a worthless screw up :(
What's the point of living if I'm not good enough to exist in this competitive society
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 07, 2016, 02:41:03 PM
What's the point of living if I'm not good enough to exist in this competitive society
Don't sell yourself so short. I would take a good look at grocery stores if you haven't already. They often have a large staff that experiences a lot of turn-over and thus more often than not have an opening.
I used to work as a manager in a grocery store. The store would give virtually everyone a chance at employment. My department frequently ended up loaded with people with alcohol problems, drug problems, anger issues, developmental problems, and most of all, people who plain just choose not to show up for work. The bar at some places is set really low. If you can show up for work and do
something, you can already be better than half the staff I worked with on a daily basis. Get a little experience under your belt and suddenly you're employee of the month material.
There is a point to living because without knowing anything about you I would bet you'd be way better than half the people I put up with.
The clinic I go to operates on a sliding scale. You basically tell the front desk folks when you submit your new patient paperwork that you would like to talk to someone about the sliding scale. Those folks will take your W2s or tax returns from the previous year and assess how much visits would cost you. It can be as low as $0. I do not know if that includes the hormones themselves, but I know it covers the cost of visits and lab work. I would be surprised if other community-based clinics did not have a similar setup.
I know in the city I'm thinking about moving to, I actually make too much money to go to the main clinic there that does HRT for trans folks. So there are definitely options around. You may need to find what the closest option is to you and save money to travel there if there's nothing available in your town.
Quote from: FTMax on June 07, 2016, 05:24:27 PM
The clinic I go to operates on a sliding scale. You basically tell the front desk folks when you submit your new patient paperwork that you would like to talk to someone about the sliding scale. Those folks will take your W2s or tax returns from the previous year and assess how much visits would cost you. It can be as low as $0. I do not know if that includes the hormones themselves, but I know it covers the cost of visits and lab work. I would be surprised if other community-based clinics did not have a similar setup.
I know in the city I'm thinking about moving to, I actually make too much money to go to the main clinic there that does HRT for trans folks. So there are definitely options around. You may need to find what the closest option is to you and save money to travel there if there's nothing available in your town.
I know for sure there's a community clinic up in Nashville, which is about an hour from where I live, that does that and the Planned Parenthood clinic thankfully does hrt as well. If I do get a chance to get up there I hope the costs will be in my favor I can pay at least $100 if I have to. One trouble though is I don't have any of my tax documents my dad did my taxes and gave no chance of letting me doing them myself and I have no clue where my tax documents could be.
Your dad can probably get them for you depending on how he did them. If he used any kind of electronic filing service or program, it'd be super easy. You can also download or have a transcript of your return mailed to you directly from the IRS (https://www.irs.gov/individuals/get-transcript (https://www.irs.gov/individuals/get-transcript)).
I just now tried from the IRS site and I don't have a financial account :(
This is the problem I ran into: https://sa.www4.irs.gov/eauth/pub/es_avs.jsp
I can't ask my dad for it that'll raise suspicions and I don't need to do that any more than I already have
I believe you can get it by mail without that, it's just a longer wait.
You could tell your dad you need it for FAFSA. Just tell him you're looking at going back to school and want to see how much money the government would give you in student loans. If you filed your taxes as a single person (your parents didn't claim you as a dependent) you would need your return to be able to fill it out, so it's believable.
Better yet I can get it mailed to friend's house
and yeah I was claimed as a dependent I think so anyway
and why the heck do i need to have a freaking loan, mortgage, or credit card just to get my tax return e-mailed?? makes no sense
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 07, 2016, 11:14:45 PM
and why the heck do i need to have a freaking loan, mortgage, or credit card just to get my tax return e-mailed?? makes no sense
Because a tax return has all the information you would need in order to steal someone's identity. Better safe than sorry. Identity theft takes a long time to recover from.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 05, 2016, 03:05:40 AM
Hmmmm could you give some more insight possibly??
http://www.cityofsalem.net/Residents/HousingAuthority/Pages/APPLY.aspx
That's the section 8 application ... It's more of them openings like in Montana but I'm sure you would prefer to be in Oregon where you can get free healthcare to further your transition ...
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thank you kindly for the info
I have another question is Salem at least a decent place for being transgender like are there clinics there or will i have to travel to Portland (i don't have my license)??
Found this article out of the random it's a bit outdated but sadly it almost relates to what I'm going through as far as job searching: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1267953/Job-seeker-Vicky-Harrison-commits-suicide-rejected-200-jobs.html
It's a sad that this is the world we live in now
I know it's easy to focus on the negative. I understand getting yourself established in this world can be challenging and frustrating but it can be done. Maybe you could start off just coming with a plan to get yourself out of this situation. Maybe you could further your education or find something that could help improve your job skills to make you more marketable to employers.
I know this isn't the advice you probably want to hear and probably want to rush head first into transition. But honestly transition is difficult and is expensive and the more stable the other parts of your life are the greater the chances of not becoming another statistic. Set goals for yourself challenge yourself to live the life you want to live. But please don't give into the negative thoughts that finding a job or a stable future isn't possible because it is. :)
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 08, 2016, 11:26:48 PM
thank you kindly for the info
I have another question is Salem at least a decent place for being transgender like are there clinics there or will i have to travel to Portland (i don't have my license)??
If you want the grs u will have to go to Portland ... Brb I have to find the listing of the trans docs in Salem Oregon ?
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https://oregontranshealth.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/oregon-health-plan-trans-healthcare-providers3.pdf
Compiled by Neola Young, Nash Jones, Seth Johnstone, Megan G., Outside In Trans Clinic (Jazz McGinnis & Britt George) & Shane Smith
Edited: 01/14/15 (Will be updated regularly. To make updates: oregontranshealth@gmail.com)
Name of provider
Provider type
Practice location
Location
Phone Number
Insurance:
Sliding Scale Option:
Other notes:
Jeffrey Stoessl
MD
Salem Clinic
Salem
(503) 364-8151
OHP (Willamette Valley), Medicare
Payment options available
Raymond Baculi
MD
Salem Clinic
Salem
(503) 364-8151
OHP (Willamette Valley), Medicare
Payment options available, no sliding scale
But considering i am guessing you get public aide so that mean you can /are automatically medicaid which is OHP
Updated list here https://oregontranshealth.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/ohp-trans-health-care-providers-april-2016.pdf
Quote from: Heather on June 09, 2016, 01:48:54 AM
I know it's easy to focus on the negative. I understand getting yourself established in this world can be challenging and frustrating but it can be done. Maybe you could start off just coming with a plan to get yourself out of this situation. Maybe you could further your education or find something that could help improve your job skills to make you more marketable to employers.
I know this isn't the advice you probably want to hear and probably want to rush head first into transition. But honestly transition is difficult and is expensive and the more stable the other parts of your life are the greater the chances of not becoming another statistic. Set goals for yourself challenge yourself to live the life you want to live. But please don't give into the negative thoughts that finding a job or a stable future isn't possible because it is. :)
I truly wish there was a solution but the fact is at this point I've exhausted all possible options. I'm straight up terrible at just about everything. I've been turned down even by fast food and retail, I've tried handiwork skills for trades and found not to be good at that plus I'm physically weak (always have been), I tried coding for a few months and terrible at that, tried becoming an elementary teacher ended up failing most classes for that, I've probably been turned down for almost 50 jobs at this point I even tried applying for Jobcorps as suggested and I didn't qualify due to my age (I'm 24 they only take younger applicants). I've only managed to work two jobs and both didn't last long with one lasting six months and the other lasting two months. I was unable to keep either one cause I couldn't work in fast paced environments competently. I'm even terrible at driving I don't even have my drivers license. As for education best I was able to do was get a two year degree in general studies cause that was the easiest to get I'm terrible at math and science so most majors that are geared toward a job are out of reach.
I'm afraid I may have no choice but to rely on public assistance such as Medicaid for the rest of my life just so i can survive. Wish it didn't have to come to this but with the ways thing are and such what other options are there besides suicide??
First thing first don't dare say you're terrible at everything dear. Resources are there and since cis heteros want to show u the door u pimp them out .... Straighten up don't put urself down like that. And when u finish your transition and become the queen that u r ... U give them ur arse to kiss by using their men in whatever way possible ... You need to have a tougher skin sis https://youtu.be/MMfGL4nqgh8 be this woman [emoji380][emoji380][emoji380][emoji48][emoji48][emoji48][emoji48]
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I do wanna thank you again Tina for all the info about Salem I'll definitely keep in mind as an option.
And yeah I've had my share of being shown the door my local temp agency is no stranger to showing the door every time they interview me for position they have available sometimes I think they're instructed divert me out since I come there at least once a week.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 09, 2016, 02:54:15 AM
I do wanna thank you again Tina for all the info about Salem I'll definitely keep in mind as an option.
And yeah I've had my share of being shown the door my local temp agency is no stranger to showing the door every time they interview me for position they have available sometimes I think they're instructed divert me out since I come there at least once a week.
Yea them throwing us away is the worse feeling ever.
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Yep most definitely
I mean what they expect us to do starve and die?? Sure seems like it :P
What is really a good job for somebody who isn't good at anything besides being able to point out Azerbaijan on a blank map??
Anyone know of any other options that this worthless girl could maybe use??
I'm out of options myself all I am is a waste of space
Are we being punk'd ?
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I just don't know what to do anymore like nothing will even hire not fast food nor temp agencies will consider me for employment. I know you gave me plenty resources to help with avoiding homelessness should I get a chance to move to the west coast but for some reason I see something going wrong like just about everything on my life and ending up being homeless for the rest of my life.
Thing that depresses me more is the feeling of uselessness to society since I'm not good at much of anything
How far are you in your transition ? I mean if I lived in Oregon or Cali I would allow you to come stay with me til u got on ur feet. Maybe we can stay in contact since I plan on relocating ... Remember it gets easier. You just have to take that leap (and by leap I don't mean jump off a building ) ...
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Currently I'm only socially transitioning no hrt till I can get away from parents.
I genuinely appreciate the offer I don't wanna end up being a burden though I did have a friend who only lives a county away offer to stay with him but I was afraid to fearing I wouldn't be able to get job and be a burden to him. He already has a housemate now.
How old are you ?
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I'm 24
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 10, 2016, 10:03:10 PM
I'm 24
Well cupcake you best to get to living and have hate / angry issues like me ... I mean I left home at 30 but I was living as a woman my name been changed since 1996 (of course being semi bullied ) still ... It took me til like around 36 to leave Florida all together for New York City (which btw is the biggest anti lbgt people I have ever encountered in my life I will admit red districts are safer for us since they are less "urban " ) ... Now I live in Alaska but I'm leaving ... To finish the transition ... Than probably come back to Alaska one day. You will be much happier away from family who will not respect ur pronouns ....
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If I were to take the plunge and go off to a university what college major ya think I should do?? I know for sure I can't do STEM cause I struggle badly with math.
Any advice or alternative options for someone who is unable to get a job and unable to afford doctor's visits for starting hrt??
Side Note: I've applied to every low level/entry level jobs in my area and I'm unable to relocate
Most people in their 20s are either in school or working, or both. It sounds like you feel very stuck where you are. What I would do in your shoes:
1) Figure out where you would like to live. Ideally a state with trans legal protections, and a city with good public transportation and transgender healthcare available. Come up with 1-3 options that would work for you.
2) Research schools of all kinds in those cities - trade schools, community colleges, public and private colleges and universities, etc. Come up with a few different options that you think would work for you.
3) Fill out your FAFSA. If it's a trade school, contact them directly about financial aid, apprenticeship programs, or guaranteed work placement.
4) Apply to each school and wait to hear back. They will either send you a financial aid notice along with your acceptance letter, or shortly after. Go to whichever school offers you the most money relative to the cost of living in that city. Max out the loan options that are available to you to cover living expenses while you are in school.
5) Move. Apply for food stamps, disability, etc. You will have to update your FAFSA the following year to reflect this new income, but it shouldn't reduce your aid too much. The student loan lender will pay the school directly, and the school will cut you a check for any excess aid after the school year starts.
6) During the first week you are at school, go to the financial aid office and ask about work study positions. If you are broke, you qualify for work study. They should give you a list of on-campus positions that are work study eligible, and who you should contact about them. These would mostly be desk jobs in department offices. They are good to have on an otherwise blank resume and are generally not fast-paced.
Boom. You will have moved, gotten public assistance, and started over. As far as money to make the moving happen, ask your folks AFTER you've gotten into school. Let them know that you applied, got in, and want to start fresh in a new place. Tell them you're covered as far as school expenses but would appreciate help with moving expenses if you're not able to save for that yourself.
It is not impossible to do. You just have to break it down into manageable steps.
Problem with going back to school especially to a four year is I don't know what to major in and that is limited enough already since I'm not good at math. It be nice if I could be guaranteed a job with either a history or geography degree.
Truth is I'm very uneasy about getting loans to go to school and not being able to repay.
Doing something a little on the risky side is probably the only way you're going to see a significant life change. If you have no options where you are now, then you're going to have to come out of your comfort zone in order to change that.
I have friends with degrees in history. 75% of them are high school teachers, the rest work in local government in some capacity. Geography would probably not work for you if you're not open to learning math. It is offered as a BS in most universities that I've seen, which would require more math and science courses than a BA typically.
I think the better question is what you would want to actually do, and then once you've answered that, backtrack to finding a degree or certification that would help you do that.
Why not get a driving job? It would be only temporary because they're trying to get rid of drivers and replace us with robots, but the future isn't here yet.
There is a little bit of math involved in the CDL learner's permit test but you can get the book and memorize all the answers.
You can go to a trade school, much cheaper than uni, and get a class A in 3-6 months. You can also apply to an employer that will help you get your class B. Ask around. Public transit agencies often train people to become class B's. Some places have lotteries so you just stick your name in the pot and if you get picked you get hired as a part time. You get paid during training. So go throw your name in for cities you've considered living in, what can it hurt?
Also, have you considered community college? It's much cheaper than uni and you can get an AA which will help you get into college if you change your mind. Some community colleges have 18 and 24 month health care professions degrees, although that field is getting saturated.
Do you have a learning disability or something like that? Is there a government agency or something that could help you with getting a job? Some states provide support for disabled people to become independent. The way you are talking and the fact you didn't go to college makes me wonder if you have undiagnosed social or cognitive learning disabilities and you should be entitled to some assistance so you can be employed. If you go back to school the school should have a disability office to assist you to keep your grades up and finish and help you with any accommodations you might need. My brother had Asperger's and had to work closely with the disability office at the state school he attended. His Asperger's got him in trouble a lot because he had trouble understanding other people.
If you are still on your parent's health insurance the insurance should cover testing to see if you have ADD or ASD or something else.
Quote from: AnxietyDisord3r on June 14, 2016, 08:20:51 AM
Why not get a driving job? It would be only temporary because they're trying to get rid of drivers and replace us with robots, but the future isn't here yet.
There is a little bit of math involved in the CDL learner's permit test but you can get the book and memorize all the answers.
You can go to a trade school, much cheaper than uni, and get a class A in 3-6 months. You can also apply to an employer that will help you get your class B. Ask around. Public transit agencies often train people to become class B's. Some places have lotteries so you just stick your name in the pot and if you get picked you get hired as a part time. You get paid during training. So go throw your name in for cities you've considered living in, what can it hurt?
Also, have you considered community college? It's much cheaper than uni and you can get an AA which will help you get into college if you change your mind. Some community colleges have 18 and 24 month health care professions degrees, although that field is getting saturated.
Do you have a learning disability or something like that? Is there a government agency or something that could help you with getting a job? Some states provide support for disabled people to become independent. The way you are talking and the fact you didn't go to college makes me wonder if you have undiagnosed social or cognitive learning disabilities and you should be entitled to some assistance so you can be employed. If you go back to school the school should have a disability office to assist you to keep your grades up and finish and help you with any accommodations you might need. My brother had Asperger's and had to work closely with the disability office at the state school he attended. His Asperger's got him in trouble a lot because he had trouble understanding other people.
If you are still on your parent's health insurance the insurance should cover testing to see if you have ADD or ASD or something else.
I have actually graduated from a community college last year with a A.S. that's about the only success I've had in life. I did go back for a couple semesters back in the fall and just got done during this spring. I was trying to become an elementary teacher but that didn't work out I failed most the classes for that. I do have a documented learning disability since I was like in 2nd grade and hate to say it the help one gets in college for that isn't enough to help pass classes where the tests are tough (like my elementary education classes).
As for a driving job this is possibly my worst shortcoming I don't have a drivers license though I did try getting one since I turned 16 but have no success and after about a little over 5 years it became obvious to not just me but everyone else that I just can't operate a motor vehicle.
I'm gonna go ahead and ask again if anyone knows of any clinics that I could maybe go to that's either heavily discounted for low income or better yet free??
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 16, 2016, 12:24:51 AM
I'm gonna go ahead and ask again if anyone knows of any clinics that I could maybe go to that's either heavily discounted for low income or better yet free??
Most of the larger LGBTQ clinics that operate on informed consent for HRT have a sliding scale that can go as low as free. These places are not going to give you free or discounted service without proof of income. You would need to take them your tax information or pay stubs for the previous year. I am not sure how it would work if your parents are still claiming you on their taxes. You would probably need to explain your situation to them if that is the case.
Have you looked into Planned Parenthood locations near you? Many of them are offering HRT now, but you'd need to call and check that yours does.
Planned Parenthood of Nashville thankfully offers hrt. Yeah it does scare me that my parents claim me on their taxes if that does go against me then I can forget about ever starting hrt :(
I do know we will be dealing with HRT all our life. And I highly doubt it could be free, but I heard the other day that HRT is tax deductible since it is a medical expense. If that's true you could file it for a tax break.
Does a Planned Parent Clinic usually offer HRT at cheaper rates?
From what I do know they have a sliding scale and if you make below a certain amount the visit and blood work an either be a no charge or the cost will be significantly reduced
Quote from: Raye on June 16, 2016, 03:23:35 PM
I do know we will be dealing with HRT all our life. And I highly doubt it could be free, but I heard the other day that HRT is tax deductible since it is a medical expense. If that's true you could file it for a tax break.
Does a Planned Parent Clinic usually offer HRT at cheaper rates?
Yes. Every clinic type setting that I've seen offering informed consent generally has a sliding scale policy for low income folks, and many go as low as free. Planned Parenthood has a sliding scale, but I'm not sure how low it goes.
And yes. Keep your receipts for medications and invoices from doctor's visits and lab work. If the amount you spend on medical expenses is greater than the standard deduction, you should do an itemized deduction that includes those items to reduce your taxable income and the amount of tax you owe at the end of the year.
It is easy to jump over the value of the standard deduction if you're having anything surgical done and paying out of pocket expenses. I don't think I would've exceeded it without that, but you never know. Just keep the receipts anyway and run it through H&R Block next year. They'll tell you what the best plan is for you.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 04, 2016, 08:51:36 PM
Is it possible to get an appointment for hrt at no charge??
My dysphoria has only gotten worse the past month and I'm at my wits end of trying to be able to finance the only chance I have is if there are doctors or clinics that do hrt for free. Please any help is appreciated.
Emily. Get yourself on your parents insurance. I know you are in Tenn. and your Governor did not participate in the ACA. But fortunately this part of it cannot be rejected. You are 24, you have two years eligibility left. There will be a copay but relatively small $10 - $20. Here is some information for you. If you are on your parents medical you generally pay 20% while insurance pays 80%
Quote from: Raye on June 16, 2016, 03:23:35 PM
I do know we will be dealing with HRT all our life. And I highly doubt it could be free, but I heard the other day that HRT is tax deductible since it is a medical expense. If that's true you could file it for a tax break.
Does a Planned Parent Clinic usually offer HRT at cheaper rates?
Quote from: DawnOday on June 16, 2016, 07:26:43 PM
Emily. Get yourself on your parents insurance. I know you are in Tenn. and your Governor did not participate in the ACA. But fortunately this part of it cannot be rejected. You are 24, you have two years eligibility left. There will be a copay but relatively small $10 - $20. Here is some information for you. If you are on your parents medical you generally pay 20% while insurance pays 80%
And when they find out I'm dead
How would I keep my parents from finding out that I used insurance for hrt?? Our insurance office is what I can only describe as "tricky" at times and have doubts the HIPPA law can help.
I know a lot of informed consent places will use diagnosis's that don't say transgender because there are exclusions in a lot of policies.
Endocrine disorder comes to mind. And hipa should prevent them from having access I would think as you're not a minor.
Not sure, but if you go to PP , I'm sure they would word things in your favor. I was just thinking of the letters I got from my insurance saying "this is not a bill" but it did list things, so they might see that.
I would talk with them though about using non transgender diagnosis and treatment as far as the wording goes. You would then just have to be clever if they confront you with questions.
Good luck
Yeah the fact it's impossible to avoid insurance sending a statement I think I better come up with something else anything other suggestions of am I actually SOL?? I guess I better get used to remaining a "guy".
I wouldn't give up so easily where in TN do you live by the way currently I live in the Middle Sector - Fairview. There is an Informed Consent Endo out in Memphis and Knoxville as far as I know. I just moved over from Memphis to Fairview not to long ago. I still have a ml or 2 of my injection to use, but I've been looking crazy for a decent Endo LOL so hopefully I'll find myself a good one before I run out in a mo. But it won't be the end of the world if I still have to keep looking.
Because YOU could try applying for Wal-Mart I've been with those guys for a while now and they've been pretty good to me. Although, I can't say they've been better than my professional career @ A.O. Smith, but I really didn't have much of a choice to leave them for the housing situation I've been in now. But my recommendation is to talk to your parents about what's going on in your life - you'd be surprised they might help you out a lil until you find yourself a decent job.
Quote from: FTMax on June 16, 2016, 07:12:23 PM
Yes. Every clinic type setting that I've seen offering informed consent generally has a sliding scale policy for low income folks, and many go as low as free. Planned Parenthood has a sliding scale, but I'm not sure how low it goes.
And yes. Keep your receipts for medications and invoices from doctor's visits and lab work. If the amount you spend on medical expenses is greater than the standard deduction, you should do an itemized deduction that includes those items to reduce your taxable income and the amount of tax you owe at the end of the year.
It is easy to jump over the value of the standard deduction if you're having anything surgical done and paying out of pocket expenses. I don't think I would've exceeded it without that, but you never know. Just keep the receipts anyway and run it through H&R Block next year. They'll tell you what the best plan is for you.
I think Emily should really listen to your advice. Man, the advice and suggestions you give are very golden! :) I used and still do use alot of what you have suggested to me. I really appreciate members like you, FTMax. You are an awesome contributor of our community. Thank you!
@ Emily: I'm pretty sure someone already suggested this, but do you have any medical insurance? It's very possible that you may have endocrinologists in your area whose willing to administer HRT on you without the devastatingly high out-of-pocket costs through your insurance. Not all insurances will pay for HRT, so be careful. It's worth a shot to at least look for an endocrinologist that will take whatever insurance you have over the pocket money but be sure that your insurance has those benefits first. Ok? :) I hope that helps, even just a little!
Even if your parents pull this move.... "Your too old and insurance won't cover it" is BS... They still will at least until your 26. Depending on the insurance company they can't allow your parents to take you off unless your 26. Although, that was the case for me since I was in school at the time and still have remained on my mother's insurance. But I still had to pay out of pocket, which is why I'll be file it with my taxes this year. You'd be very surprised what could happen. Even if you do have to pay out of pocket there are still plenty of Endos out there that will sympathize with your situation.
Quote from: Raye on June 18, 2016, 03:40:40 AM
Even if your parents pull this move.... "Your too old and insurance won't cover it" is BS... They still will at least until your 26. Depending on the insurance company they can't allow your parents to take you off unless your 26. Although, that was the case for me since I was in school at the time and still have remained on my mother's insurance. But I still had to pay out of pocket, which is why I'll be file it with my taxes this year. You'd be very surprised what could happen. Even if you do have to pay out of pocket there are still plenty of Endos out there that will sympathize with your situation.
hmmm so does that mean I can use my parent's insurance even if I suddenly leave home?? I do luckily have an insurance card they gave me if that's really the case.
If you are listed as a dependent on the insurance, you can use it. But you should read the policy documents in advance so you know what kind of money you would need to pay. While copays are less than what you'd be paying out of pocket, the policy often dictates where you can go for services. Like my policy's in-network lab work provider is LabCorp so every time I have blood taken, it has to be done at a LabCorp location in order to minimize my out of pocket expenses. Going out of network, even inadvertently, could cost you the full price of the bill based on your policy's coverage levels.
You should also know that every time you use your insurance, it generates a claim. The primary person on the account will be notified that they have an Explanation of Benefits available usually a few days after that. It details what kind of service was done, where it was done, how it was coded, and the breakdown of what insurance paid and what your expected contribution is. I get these via email, but I know my mom has them mailed to her. So your parents would likely know within a week or two that you are using their plan, where you used it, and vaguely what you used it for.
I lived independently of my parents from the age of 17 on. Paid my own rent, did my own taxes, had bills in my name, etc. I was still able to be listed as a dependent on my mother's health insurance until I turned 26 last year and had to get my own policy. I am not sure if they can legally drop you from their policy before you turn 26 if you don't have a policy of your own, but they may be able to.
I'm also not sure if this is universal, it may just be for ACA plans, but I know with mine, I can only make changes to the policy if there is a change in life circumstance (ie. I get married and I need to add my wife to my policy, or my wife and I have a child and I need to add the child), OR it's during a specific time of the year (Open Enrollment season). So if that is a universal thing, you could find out when their Open Enrollment period is and start using their insurance immediately after that window is over. It would basically give you a full year to use the policy unless they find some way to boot you off of it or otherwise restrict your access to it.
Quote from: Raye on June 18, 2016, 01:35:43 AM
I wouldn't give up so easily where in TN do you live by the way currently I live in the Middle Sector - Fairview. There is an Informed Consent Endo out in Memphis and Knoxville as far as I know. I just moved over from Memphis to Fairview not to long ago. I still have a ml or 2 of my injection to use, but I've been looking crazy for a decent Endo LOL so hopefully I'll find myself a good one before I run out in a mo. But it won't be the end of the world if I still have to keep looking.
Because YOU could try applying for Wal-Mart I've been with those guys for a while now and they've been pretty good to me. Although, I can't say they've been better than my professional career @ A.O. Smith, but I really didn't have much of a choice to leave them for the housing situation I've been in now. But my recommendation is to talk to your parents about what's going on in your life - you'd be surprised they might help you out a lil until you find yourself a decent job.
Fairview as in Williamson County?? If so I live in Maury County not too far maybe one day we could get together for coffee or something I'd like to finally meet someone else that's transgender outside the internet.
As for looking to see if someone can provide hrt here in Middle TN there's a place in Nashville called Vine Hill Community Clinic and Nashville's Planned Parenthood does hrt. I'm not sure if you ever looked here but this link is how I found out about Vine Hill: http://www.tvals.org/medical-resources/
Quote from: FTMax on June 18, 2016, 06:18:10 PM
If you are listed as a dependent on the insurance, you can use it. But you should read the policy documents in advance so you know what kind of money you would need to pay. While copays are less than what you'd be paying out of pocket, the policy often dictates where you can go for services. Like my policy's in-network lab work provider is LabCorp so every time I have blood taken, it has to be done at a LabCorp location in order to minimize my out of pocket expenses. Going out of network, even inadvertently, could cost you the full price of the bill based on your policy's coverage levels.
You should also know that every time you use your insurance, it generates a claim. The primary person on the account will be notified that they have an Explanation of Benefits available usually a few days after that. It details what kind of service was done, where it was done, how it was coded, and the breakdown of what insurance paid and what your expected contribution is. I get these via email, but I know my mom has them mailed to her. So your parents would likely know within a week or two that you are using their plan, where you used it, and vaguely what you used it for.
I lived independently of my parents from the age of 17 on. Paid my own rent, did my own taxes, had bills in my name, etc. I was still able to be listed as a dependent on my mother's health insurance until I turned 26 last year and had to get my own policy. I am not sure if they can legally drop you from their policy before you turn 26 if you don't have a policy of your own, but they may be able to.
I'm also not sure if this is universal, it may just be for ACA plans, but I know with mine, I can only make changes to the policy if there is a change in life circumstance (ie. I get married and I need to add my wife to my policy, or my wife and I have a child and I need to add the child), OR it's during a specific time of the year (Open Enrollment season). So if that is a universal thing, you could find out when their Open Enrollment period is and start using their insurance immediately after that window is over. It would basically give you a full year to use the policy unless they find some way to boot you off of it or otherwise restrict your access to it.
My family's insurance plan is provided by my dad's work (he works fro GM) through Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan if that makes a difference. From what I do know about the plan is that it covers quite a bit like it covered my hospital stay last year after having my appendix removed even the CT Scan and blood work was covered only thing that had to be paid was the $25 co-pay.
Yeah I wish there was a way to prevent them from seeing the "explanation of benefits" if I were to use their insurance otherwise I go ahead and start hrt while they're away on vacation come later this month.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 18, 2016, 09:04:04 PM
My family's insurance plan is provided by my dad's work (he works fro GM) through Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan if that makes a difference. From what I do know about the plan is that it covers quite a bit like it covered my hospital stay last year after having my appendix removed even the CT Scan and blood work was covered only thing that had to be paid was the $25 co-pay.
Yeah I wish there was a way to prevent them from seeing the "explanation of benefits" if I were to use their insurance otherwise I go ahead and start hrt while they're away on vacation come later this month.
Could you just get your own insurance policy then? I mean, if you have your own, your parents cannot see your explanation of benefits or any other part of your policy for confidentiality reasons. Maybe look into that. Sounds like you really don't want them to know about it. I told my dad up front that I am want hormones but I was with my therapist. Yeah, he says he doesn't want me doing the hormones in his house but I think he might begin seeing the seriousness of having hormones after I threatened to stop myself from living and got put in a psych ward. Hopefully you won't have to go to those extremes. But you know, once you're on hormones you're gonna see changes and eventually you will have to confront them about it.
I can't afford health insurance and don't qualify for Medicaid in Tennessee :(
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 18, 2016, 09:41:56 PM
I can't afford health insurance and don't qualify for Medicaid in Tennessee :(
Emily, you really want hormones as if they are mandatory for you, right? I can tell, as I do as well. Have you considered selling some valuables of your's? Like some movies you might not want anymore? Maybe go on something like Craigslist. But be careful with it. Lots of scammers out there. I thought about doing that but I kinda just backed out cause of school and hoping that works out.
I mean, I wouldn't want for you to sell any of your stuff but it might be your only option right now. I know you don't want to hear this, but maybe you should apply for disability so you can get some money every month, save it up by pretending it does not exist, and use that for HRT. I believe where there is a will, there is always a way. My social worker told me that if I am passionate enough about something I failed at getting done, I will find another way. Life is a lesson. We live to learn. That is what I believe. You'll find a way. :)
I had the luck of receiving trans health care and testosterone for free without the use of my WA state insurance. The area I lived in had no doctors willing to prescribe T to a 17 year old and even if they did, they didn't take state insurance. I ended up calling a clinic in Portland, OR and met with my current PCP and she set me up with free HRT. I pay the $10 clinic fee whenever I can but I don't get turned away for not having it. I would suggest looking for low cost clinics or trans friendly organizations in your area or around. Not having a car could be an issue unless your area has a medical-taxi service that can get you from point A to point B and back for free or a low cost/co-pay to you.
Quote from: bprot on June 18, 2016, 10:58:50 PM
I had the luck of receiving trans health care and testosterone for free without the use of my WA state insurance. The area I lived in had no doctors willing to prescribe T to a 17 year old and even if they did, they didn't take state insurance. I ended up calling a clinic in Portland, OR and met with my current PCP and she set me up with free HRT. I pay the $10 clinic fee whenever I can but I don't get turned away for not having it. I would suggest looking for low cost clinics or trans friendly organizations in your area or around. Not having a car could be an issue unless your area has a medical-taxi service that can get you from point A to point B and back for free or a low cost/co-pay to you.
This is why I wish I could move into that general area but if I did I be homeless since I couldn't afford the cost of housing. Can you still get Medicaid even if you are homeless??
Actually it's easy if your homeless.
When I moved to Albuquerque I went to the transgender center first thing. They told me I could use their address for mail and government things. I had an address already though because I'm house sitting, so I use that.
Of course being homeless sucks, but here they at least help you. Not all state agencies are created equal, but Medicaid is for low income people and homelessness pretty much screams low income.
The transgender center also has a doctor that comes in once a week and I got all my prescriptions from them. They didn't have estrogen but they had spirolactone and everything was free. This was without Medicaid because I didn't use my old states plan since I had moved.
To be honest, it was ridiculously easy. I didn't even have my old prescription on me and I didn't have to prove I was poor. I did have these things, but I think because I knew my dosage and was able to tell them who my previous doctor was they just let me slide.
There are always ways, so don't give up hope.
"Fairview as in Williamson County?? If so I live in Maury County not too far maybe one day we could get together for coffee or something I'd like to finally meet someone else that's transgender outside the internet.
As for looking to see if someone can provide hrt here in Middle TN there's a place in Nashville called Vine Hill Community Clinic and Nashville's Planned Parenthood does hrt. I'm not sure if you ever looked here but this link is how I found out about Vine Hill: http://www.tvals.org/medical-resources/"
I've heard of the Vine Hill place and was about to tell ya as far as I know there is only one IC doc there. However she apparently is not taking anymore patients. Was good for you because I'm sure alot of us know how expensive this stuff is all here. Therapy, HRT, tests, check ups, insurance, and other things all adds up over time. That's why I had worked 85 hours a week with two jobs. And not because I was looking to get out of my last roommate situations. Yeah Fairview is a pretty decent and quiet town cops here know I'm trans a bit and they make sure no one bothers me. Because my last roommate was a complete dbag. Looking for work there best I can give is perseverance. Keep on applying and calling those places a day later after applying to say the interested in there position. And that you are a very hard worker. And be sure to call back at least a couple times a week to let them know your interested still and quite available. I have a bit of Charisma and I'm very friendly as well an interesting person in general. I realize some people aren't as much, but I've had some really bad luck believe me on this one. So I'm sure what ever bad juju has you down you'll get through this. FTMax left home at 17 and I left home at 19 seems to be a trend. I'm 6 years older and still learning new things everyday. Regarding TVals I can't say I know them at all. I'm not as available all the time as much as I like to. Don't give up I think we all have faith in you Emily!!!
(Huuuggzzz)
Quote from: Raye on June 19, 2016, 05:42:50 AM
I've heard of the Vine Hill place and was about to tell ya as far as I know there is only one IC doc there. However she apparently is not taking anymore patients. Was good for you because I'm sure alot of us know how expensive this stuff is all here. Therapy, HRT, tests, check ups, insurance, and other things all adds up over time. That's why I had worked 85 hours a week with two jobs. And not because I was looking to get out of my last roommate situations. Yeah Fairview is a pretty decent and quiet town cops here know I'm trans a bit and they make sure no one bothers me. Because my last roommate was a complete dbag. Looking for work there best I can give is perseverance. Keep on applying and calling those places a day later after applying to say the interested in there position. And that you are a very hard worker. And be sure to call back at least a couple times a week to let them know your interested still and quite available. I have a bit of Charisma and I'm very friendly as well an interesting person in general. I realize some people aren't as much, but I've had some really bad luck believe me on this one. So I'm sure what ever bad juju has you down you'll get through this. FTMax left home at 17 and I left home at 19 seems to be a trend. I'm 6 years older and still learning new things everyday. Regarding TVals I can't say I know them at all. I'm not as available all the time as much as I like to. Don't give up I think we all have faith in you Emily!!!
(Huuuggzzz)
Not taking new patients?? WHY!?? What am I supposed to do now?? I can't afford to see an Endo or to relocate somewhere else. *sigh* Whats the point of being upset I'll just go on and pretend to be happy like I always do.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 19, 2016, 02:04:36 PM
Not taking new patients?? WHY!?? What am I supposed to do now?? I can't afford to see an Endo or to relocate somewhere else. *sigh* Whats the point of being upset I'll just go on and pretend to be happy like I always do.
Emily, please. We want to help you. I want to ask you something but I hope you won't get irritated by it. You said you have an associate's degree? Perhaps you should return to school and go for a bachelor's? I think it's heartbreaking when any graduate with amazing credentials as yours are prohibited from work but life is a process and sometimes we have to try doing the same thing over and over and over until we get it right.
You sound so passionate in getting your life on track, as I do. Emily, I am in the same boat as you. You aren't the only one. I don't even have a college degree. I have a highschool diploma and that's it. I keep filling out applications, at least once a day. Fill out multiple positions for the same employer. You gotta try something. It is better to be in activity than in apathy. Ok? Please. You can do this. I know you can!
I might have 86 Credits, but I never finished my schooling I'd like to go back eventually, but now I just can't till I work on myself. I just got out of a seriously bad relationship with this guy. And I've had nightmares ever since. We all have things to overcome. You solve one problem after another and move onto the next. That's what life is all about solving problems after another and coping with what you have gained from solving them.
There are other docs, but I don't know how they will have similar treatment if they are also taking Transgender Patients as well... I agree though it doesn't hurt to hold off plans or at least work on getting a decent job. I wasn't joking about working 85 hours a week. Yes it friggen sucked, but that's what I did to at least get myself established into the system from Point A to Point B, C is currently a WIP. But I know I'll get there and I know you will get there as well. I've dealt with my own depression and demons myself I didn't take any handouts or assistance, and support from others. And even though I still turned out alright it was something that I regret from my 19 YO Mind. But it was also best for me because I didn't want to be around the negativity from my family. They would have accepted me as is if I came out at 8 when I knew about it. But you can't undo the past. What you can do is prevent the terrible future you may be undergoing. Talk with your parents just hear their side as much as you don't want to. If they can't accept you as is at least still try to return and make something of yourself. It is so much more satisfying to make them watch you get up on your own two feet. And to become the woman who we all know you to be. Believe me it really is they will change their ways eventually my mother is starting as well. I've began to speak with her quite often now since I've came out and made her watch me pick myself up from my own two hands and feet. I know it sucks, but you really don't want to go down the path I went under. And I hate to say this, but the military wasn't my best course of action. Sure I'm now blacked off the record for good being who I am, but it will come back to bite you in the butt. There's too much negativity that I was barely able to surpass and succeed at, but once someone found out about the hormones I was outed. Yes it's a lot differently now, but they still have a lot of ways to go. Just try finding yourself a decent job at home or find a way to get assistance for schooling. Even my friend Karl is thinking of getting out and not renewing his service for another some years. And he's a dedicated soldier, but I won't go into depth for what he does. That's on his confidentiality report to discuss in 20 years, as I won't discuss anything I've done. I won't even discuss anything about myself personally, but I will say this think with a clear mind before you do something terrible you know you will regret.
Quote from: King Phoenix on June 19, 2016, 06:16:54 PM
Emily, please. We want to help you. I want to ask you something but I hope you won't get irritated by it. You said you have an associate's degree? Perhaps you should return to school and go for a bachelor's? I think it's heartbreaking when any graduate with amazing credentials as yours are prohibited from work but life is a process and sometimes we have to try doing the same thing over and over and over until we get it right.
You sound so passionate in getting your life on track, as I do. Emily, I am in the same boat as you. You aren't the only one. I don't even have a college degree. I have a highschool diploma and that's it. I keep filling out applications, at least once a day. Fill out multiple positions for the same employer. You gotta try something. It is better to be in activity than in apathy. Ok? Please. You can do this. I know you can!
College for me has been rocky I first started out getting a bachelor's degree at a four year college but after two semesters I failed out due to the difficulty of some of the courses even daily tutoring wasn't helping. So I settled for an associates degree at my community college which I look back on as one my best (if not only) decisions I made in my life so far. Then I decided back in the fall to get a teaching degree which in course ended up failing two of the three basic education courses require to get into the program. Hate to say but I think a two year is the best I'm gonna get. Will say though if I had it my way I would go for a bachelors in history but who will hire a history major in this job market?? Most majors suited for the job market require to be very good at maths which I'm not heck I failed pre-algebra in high school.
Quote from: Raye on June 19, 2016, 09:40:41 PM
I might have 86 Credits, but I never finished my schooling I'd like to go back eventually, but now I just can't till I work on myself. I just got out of a seriously bad relationship with this guy. And I've had nightmares ever since. We all have things to overcome. You solve one problem after another and move onto the next. That's what life is all about solving problems after another and coping with what you have gained from solving them.
There are other docs, but I don't know how they will have similar treatment if they are also taking Transgender Patients as well... I agree though it doesn't hurt to hold off plans or at least work on getting a decent job. I wasn't joking about working 85 hours a week. Yes it friggen sucked, but that's what I did to at least get myself established into the system from Point A to Point B, C is currently a WIP. But I know I'll get there and I know you will get there as well. I've dealt with my own depression and demons myself I didn't take any handouts or assistance, and support from others. And even though I still turned out alright it was something that I regret from my 19 YO Mind. But it was also best for me because I didn't want to be around the negativity from my family. They would have accepted me as is if I came out at 8 when I knew about it. But you can't undo the past. What you can do is prevent the terrible future you may be undergoing. Talk with your parents just hear their side as much as you don't want to. If they can't accept you as is at least still try to return and make something of yourself. It is so much more satisfying to make them watch you get up on your own two feet. And to become the woman who we all know you to be. Believe me it really is they will change their ways eventually my mother is starting as well. I've began to speak with her quite often now since I've came out and made her watch me pick myself up from my own two hands and feet. I know it sucks, but you really don't want to go down the path I went under. And I hate to say this, but the military wasn't my best course of action. Sure I'm now blacked off the record for good being who I am, but it will come back to bite you in the butt. There's too much negativity that I was barely able to surpass and succeed at, but once someone found out about the hormones I was outed. Yes it's a lot differently now, but they still have a lot of ways to go. Just try finding yourself a decent job at home or find a way to get assistance for schooling. Even my friend Karl is thinking of getting out and not renewing his service for another some years. And he's a dedicated soldier, but I won't go into depth for what he does. That's on his confidentiality report to discuss in 20 years, as I won't discuss anything I've done. I won't even discuss anything about myself personally, but I will say this think with a clear mind before you do something terrible you know you will regret.
Best bet for me now is to try Planned Parenthood for all I know their sliding scale might be more generous anyway since they're more geared toward helping the low income. Just wish I had a way to move out it's getting more unbearable living with parents who have these huge expectations that I can't live up to. Really wish I had a place to go I do have friends but none are in position to house me till I get on my feet plus I don't want to be a burden. Also I'm at a point where I don't know what to do about becoming employable I still think I don't have any other options left besides living under a highway bridge for the rest of my life.
My social disability - my Asperger's has made it hard for me to connect with people, focus, and learn overall. But I do make do with what I have. It has gotten a lot better since I put myself out there to get better with my communication skills. I'm still rough around the edges. So I'm seriously sorry if I might have offended people on multiple occasions, but even my partner knows I'm not perfect. Not everyone is perfect nor can we has humans reach perfection in anyway. I would try Planned Parenthood, but still recommend looking for work and being persistent about it. Like I said I'm currently looking for a second part time job as well I may not be able to work 85 hours a week anymore, but I can certainly work at least near 60. I've talked it over with my landlord and she said it shouldn't throw me out of the current % for the housing situation I'm currently in. And she understands a bit of what I'm going through. Everyone here understands what you are going through. I've failed Intermediate Algebra twice, and passed College Algebra once. When I go back I'm hoping to complete Calculus I + II on my first try. I'm really good at pulling out last second moves ahead of schedule to alter my grades by studying really hard, regurgitating that information, + I take up Extra Credit whenever it is given out. In fact, If things went the way they would I would have had a B+, but I lost my vehicle and that dropped my grade significantly. My professor was very sympathetic with my situation and allowed me to just waiver the grade diminishing. She was surprised I was able to learn so much without a lecture I still managed to pas with a C+. LOL not the best grade, but had I not taken up doing 3 tests and the final exam the same day I would have failed. There wasn't a moment in my mind that I would fail this course at all. And I managed to come out just as fine. I've had difficulties learning, but I learn to overcome them from shear persistence of trial and error. That's one of the sad things all engineers have to go through at some point. And I put my skills to the table when working at my plant sites. Of course I had to teach myself calculus a bit to get to where I was, but I still have a long ways to go, which is why I intend to complete my BAS + AAS Degrees. I do not wish to work for Wal-Mart the rest of my life now. But they do help with my college costs a bit.
Quote from: Raye on June 20, 2016, 02:39:06 PM
My social disability - my Asperger's has made it hard for me to connect with people, focus, and learn overall. But I do make do with what I have. It has gotten a lot better since I put myself out there to get better with my communication skills. I'm still rough around the edges. So I'm seriously sorry if I might have offended people on multiple occasions, but even my partner knows I'm not perfect. Not everyone is perfect nor can we has humans reach perfection in anyway. I would try Planned Parenthood, but still recommend looking for work and being persistent about it. Like I said I'm currently looking for a second part time job as well I may not be able to work 85 hours a week anymore, but I can certainly work at least near 60. I've talked it over with my landlord and she said it shouldn't throw me out of the current % for the housing situation I'm currently in. And she understands a bit of what I'm going through. Everyone here understands what you are going through. I've failed Intermediate Algebra twice, and passed College Algebra once. When I go back I'm hoping to complete Calculus I + II on my first try. I'm really good at pulling out last second moves ahead of schedule to alter my grades by studying really hard, regurgitating that information, + I take up Extra Credit whenever it is given out. In fact, If things went the way they would I would have had a B+, but I lost my vehicle and that dropped my grade significantly. My professor was very sympathetic with my situation and allowed me to just waiver the grade diminishing. She was surprised I was able to learn so much without a lecture I still managed to pas with a C+. LOL not the best grade, but had I not taken up doing 3 tests and the final exam the same day I would have failed. There wasn't a moment in my mind that I would fail this course at all. And I managed to come out just as fine. I've had difficulties learning, but I learn to overcome them from shear persistence of trial and error. That's one of the sad things all engineers have to go through at some point. And I put my skills to the table when working at my plant sites. Of course I had to teach myself calculus a bit to get to where I was, but I still have a long ways to go, which is why I intend to complete my BAS + AAS Degrees. I do not wish to work for Wal-Mart the rest of my life now. But they do help with my college costs a bit.
Awesome that you passed College Algebra I took that once and failed it. Last year I was taking Intro to Biology and managed to get a C despite failing nearly every exam luckily I did well enough on the class work/labs, did extra credit, and scored a 91 on the final. History and Geography are my strong points :)
Sorries if that is been answered already as I did not read through all the responses.
Do as much research as you can. I am about to get cleared for HRT even though I have state welfare insurance and I live in Maryland. A while back my therapist had said something in passing about Obamacare covering some transition related stuff, so look into it as there may be laws against insurance preventing you getting care. I am not versed on the particulars, so be warned. Try to get your foot in the door and talk to a therapist. Be as honest as possible and if they see it's a life or death sort of thing you might get help.
If things get really bad for you, please know that you may be able to check yourself into a hospital's psych ward. It's not like You'll be admitted for years, more like a few days. While you are there you'll meet with docs, social workers and others who could point you in the right direction with respect to getting care as a trans* person in TN. Make sure you research the hospital you go to. As a general rule (I stress that) hospitals in more affluent areas will be better.
Some readings
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/08/25/obamacare-now-pays-for-gender-reassignment.html
http://obamacarefacts.com/questions/is-there-transgender-health-coverage/
Just wish there was a law forcing health insurance to actually be "more affordable".
There is and it's called the Affordable Care Act. Before it was passed my insurance was $400 a month. Now it's $600 a month with a $3500 deductible and no trans coverage. Remember that the promise was my insurance would go down $2,500 a year.
Quote from: Dena on June 21, 2016, 12:39:54 AM
There is and it's called the Affordable Care Act. Before it was passed my insurance was $400 a month. Now it's $600 a month with a $3500 deductible and no trans coverage. Remember that the promise was my insurance would go down $2,500 a month.
Were you for the affordable care act or against ?
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Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 20, 2016, 10:00:17 PM
Just wish there was a law forcing health insurance to actually be "more affordable".
I know you're having difficulty with finding a job, but if you looked for a union job with negotiated health coverage that would take care of two problems.
Be careful what you wish for with laws though. Politicians mean well but often just make things worse. I have no health insurance because I can't afford health insurance. And now I am penalized further for not purchasing something I don't have the money to purchase.
Quote from: Semira on June 21, 2016, 12:59:23 AM
I know you're having difficulty with finding a job, but if you looked for a union job with negotiated health coverage that would take care of two problems.
Be careful what you wish for with laws though. Politicians mean well but often just make things worse. I have no health insurance because I can't afford health insurance. And now I am penalized further for not purchasing something I don't have the money to purchase.
That freaking sucks
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Quote from: TinaVane on June 21, 2016, 12:48:08 AM
Were you for the affordable care act or against ?
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I was against it because I knew what would happen. You can't dump that many people into the system without somebody paying for it and if the new people aren't paying for it, guess who does. The bill was 2000 pages long before the regulators got to it and it barely got through congress. In a few months I go on Social Security and then the fun starts all over again.
I wish you the best of luck Dena that's pretty hard. :'(
Personally, I'm a bit biased towards unions. Primarily because I'm trained at what I do all ready. And then a fresh off the boat kid comes in and does my job for not only more money, but little or no experience. I've seen this time in and time out in the plant sites I've worked at/for. But for those who really need it can be a blessing and a curse at the same time.
Quote from: Semira on June 21, 2016, 12:59:23 AM
I know you're having difficulty with finding a job, but if you looked for a union job with negotiated health coverage that would take care of two problems.
Whenever I find positions open for a union job it seems like every one of them wants "through the roof" experience just for an entry level position compared to non-union jobs
Might depend on the Union. In PA I would be able to get a union job such as a state liquor store but the hours are minimal. If your living at home though, that's not too bad. Also my partners daughter got a job with the education department basically calling people about student loans. That have a high turnover rate so you can advance quickly. Obviously it's a crap job but it's a start.
Also Tennessee is doing everything in its power to do away with unions
Sorry. I do hope you find something soon. I know something will come along and you'll find your direction.
I'll keep thinking good thoughts for you. I hope you try the same.
Hugs
Quote from: StevieC9 on June 21, 2016, 10:37:11 PM
Sorry. I do hope you find something soon. I know something will come along and you'll find your direction.
I'll keep thinking good thoughts for you. I hope you try the same.
Hugs
I mean I love to land a union job if it meant having good benefits heck I've applied to Kroger the most just the fact they're union though they rejected my application probably about a 100 times by now. One would think getting hired at a grocery would be easy :P
I think it's the fact I been fired from the two jobs that I did work at.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 22, 2016, 02:14:35 AM
I mean I love to land a union job if it meant having good benefits heck I've applied to Kroger the most just the fact they're union though they rejected my application probably about a 100 times by now. One would think getting hired at a grocery would be easy :P
I think it's the fact I been fired from the two jobs that I did work at.
I spent almost 10 years working at a Grocery store, many of them in management. I've sat in on countless job interviews and I've dealt with the full spectrum of employee types. Have you gone into the stores in person and asked to speak with the person in charge of hiring? Were you actually rejected or did they just not contact you? Showing up in person and being persistent gives you a leg up over a pile of anonymous applications the store probably gets every day.
And in person, only say positive things about yourself. Almost everyone lies in an interview so don't be afraid to embellish yourself because they will assume as much and mentally bring you down a couple of pegs. The better you make yourself sound, the better you will look after being brought down those pegs. When it comes to a grocery store, probably half the employees are lazy, apathetic, and have attendance issues (basically, careless kids out of high school). Believe that you are better than those kinds of people and you
will succeed.
I had an employee working for me once that was learning disabled. I would have gladly taken 15 more of him. He wasn't the fastest or had the best customer service skills, but he was genuine, friendly, and worked to the best of his ability every single day. Any shortcomings he had were easy to ignore knowing that when I walked in the door each morning he was there to support me 100%.
Quote from: Semira on June 22, 2016, 01:28:15 PM
Have you gone into the stores in person and asked to speak with the person in charge of hiring? Were you actually rejected or did they just not contact you?
It's mixed I either get no contact or get a rejection email usually stating I'm just not what they're looking for right now. I have visited the store at least a few times to speak to the person in charge of hiring and usually got told to apply online and that's it.
Quote from: Semira on June 22, 2016, 01:28:15 PM
And in person, only say positive things about yourself. Almost everyone lies in an interview so don't be afraid to embellish yourself because they will assume as much and mentally bring you down a couple of pegs. The better you make yourself sound, the better you will look after being brought down those pegs. When it comes to a grocery store, probably half the employees are lazy, apathetic, and have attendance issues (basically, careless kids out of high school). Believe that you are better than those kinds of people and you will succeed.
Oh yeah I will make sure to sound enthusiastic and caring if I ever can land an interview. Also I'm not afraid to embellish myself I did that during an interview for Walmart last year even though I know I was gonna get the job anyway since they were needing people at the time.
Quote from: Semira on June 22, 2016, 01:28:15 PM
I had an employee working for me once that was learning disabled. I would have gladly taken 15 more of him. He wasn't the fastest or had the best customer service skills, but he was genuine, friendly, and worked to the best of his ability every single day. Any shortcomings he had were easy to ignore knowing that when I walked in the door each morning he was there to support me 100%.
This alone is why I wish managers could be more like you giving someone with a few shortcomings but willing to work. I'm not the fastest either nor the most competent I'll admit (as to why I was let go from the two jobs I worked previously) but I will show up when I'm supposed to and do my job like if say if I was stocking soup cans and a manager came up and asked me to go into the back and bring out a pallet of soft drinks and start putting them on the shelf I'll have no problem doing that.
My first Wal-Mart had biases towards me being trans, but I never got the cases documented because I'm too nice and naive at the time. They fired me off in mid winter because of point issues when you damn well know who's going to walk on the icy roads to work for an 11 hour shift. No one goes into work in TN if it's snowy and icy conditions and I didn't have a car. I worked at the Dickson Wal-Mart and lived in Fairview. And my roommate wouldn't take me. So I told them I couldn't make it because why should I walk 13 hours to get to Dickson and work an 11 Hour Shift. I wouldn't leave the store I'd sleep there for my next shift the following day. And that was the only time I called out on 2 weeks of bad weather 9 days in total accumulation.
6 weeks later I got rehired back at the Fairview Wal-Mart because the assistant called BS on the whole issue. He knew I was one of the best hard working person(s) over at the Dickson. Because people would call in referrals and be like who's this long blonde headed dude we be getting about... Oh that's JP from the Dickson WM. Dunno why the callers are coming over here. And ever since I came out and began my transition there I've never had anyone start anything with me. They actually cared more about the situation I was in than to let anyone say anything negative.
The thing about employers especially Wal-Mart or Kroger is pretty simple. And before I disclose this - this is some A Grade stuff here. Bring a well printed resume with you + perhaps a cover letter in person. Introduce yourself to the hiring manager with your name and the position (or positions) your applying for. Give them a bit of some background and show interest in that position. Hand them your resume + cover letter at that point. Let them know you have a solid work history and that your a very hard working person and highly versatile. Show some intelligence and skill to intimidate them a bit, but not too much. If your successful you'll know if they become intrigued. Intimidation by your success and how the company will grow your success is key. Manager's at Wal-Mart especially love those types of people. Enthusiasm is key, but too much will show your way too desperate for work. Try and play it cool, but professional as possible.
I got my first gig by starting up a company, which the assistant was of interest in he was impressed by my management skills and my go-getter attitude. Then we exchanged tips about running individual businesses, which got me on his good side and he hired me. I kept running my own business at the time while working at Wal-Mart fluidly. Sadly, it didn't last after 6 mo, which was going on for about 8. I had issues with Level Designers and Coders who wouldn't pull their share of the weight and I had to pick up the pieces. And I decided enough was enough and shut down the whole project.
I worked for Walmart last year. My job was to help unload the trucks in the back my picking up boxes from the line and putting them on the assigned pallets then after the truck is unloaded I then pull the pallets to their designated area on the sales floor. Sounds like an easy job right? I thought so too until the realization set in that they expected the unloaders to be very fast and unfortunately I didn't quite cut it and was let go after only two months.
Sometimes I think getting fired from Walmart has blacklisted me from future employment.
Sounds like a job I got at UPS loading trailers. Very hard, but you work only a few hours. I was getting hurt a lot so they put me on small sort. That was fast paced but not as hard on my body. Unfortunately they put me back in the trailers and it was killing me. I lost my car so I couldn't make it in anymore.
They don't discriminate on gender identity and if you can stay for a year, even part time, you get benefits. You join the teamsters union right away. If you can work hard they'll take you. They have a high turnover because it is hard work and it takes a while to get full time. Over the Christmas season you might get a lot of hours but during the slow times I was getting about 20 hours. They are always hiring because I know I couldn't pay my bills on the limited hours and they stipulate that their job comes before all others. So if you get another job, they could screw you over.
After working my last two jobs working as a donations attendant for Goodwill and an unloader for Walmart I soon realized that type of work isn't suitable for me. The summer months were worse when working at Goodwill was always having to go into the break room so I wouldn't pass out from the heat. I even have trouble lifting over 50 pounds. I mean it's not like I want a job where you do nothing it's just I know where my limitations are based on past experiences.
As for UPS I worked there temporary during Christmas 2013 season only got called in to work one day. All the other days were spent waiting for them to call and they had it fixed where you couldn't call to see if there was any work.
Oooh, looks like a topic I can jump in to. I mean job related gigs and all.
I remember back in 2006 when I started working for the first time. My first interview, my first job as a whole, started from the ground up. Worked for Rite Aid, union job and all. By my second day the cashiers were calling me a manager with the attitude I had for work, even though I was one of them. At the time i was 4 months in I was previously growing my hair out, and started painting my nails and such. Was rather fun, and by my 6th month i was promoted to auditor, well (price accuracy coordinator), then 3 months later i sign up for the army (reserves anyways).
Fast forward through my military opening as I do not see this congruent to the topic.
Anyways for that I followed under a leave of absence under military guidelines, also promoting the userra act. But once I returned, and tried to get my job back, their hours were completely frozen, and locked out, this was for both stores close to me.
Anyways fast forward to later on, I get a job at Target, working graveyard, at first as a presentation coordinator, dealing with plan-o-grams, and building displays. Also at the time was when I helped out create their pFresh grocery section for the store. Once I had a good foot in the door with that and the work slowed for the displays and such, I was inter-recruited to their truck team. I was never one of the strong arms for the truck itself, or one of the ones that stacked from the conveyor belt, to pallets, but I was a pallet runner. I was dealing with handling the pallets to their respective areas and rushing back to grab the next when it was prepared, generally I had a walkie, and coordinated with my manager and other supervisors, when the truck was done, we would then line everyone up, and rush from the pallet to the respective section in the aisles, then had a person for every section in the aisles, then we collaborated and basically took the store in a tidal wave of a storm to finish the work in minimal time. That went on for about two years. The majority of my time was working in the San Francisco bay area, and then partial out in Augusta, Georgia.
Fast forward to my last job, in which working with Rite Aid again, working as a floater between several stores in the Fontana/Rancho Cucamonga areas, in California, before I moved up and transferred to the one in Blue Jay, up in the mountains when I moved that way. Was a union job, yet I claimed non union, even though the union still let me use their medical at the time.
Then when I moved back to the bay area, I transferred into the final straw with Rite Aid. It was such a roller coaster of emotion, struggle, and this is where I finally had made my connection to being transgender. And about the time I started working there was the time I joined this wonderful family here at Susan's!
But as per my story and hardships through this time, you could look way back into my previous posts as it is so much to say about this place. I did not disclose where I worked, or maybe I did in the earlier posts. Its been so long since I had started this ride. But needless to say I abandoned ship in a rather sinking vessel, and glad I did.
I just thought I would jump into this conversation with my own experience. I hope no one minds!
Kate <3
Always remember to smile your face
Edit; if you want to land a secure union job, try not to land one in a drug store (i.e. CVS, Rite Aid etc...) the union really does not care about the smaller chains like those, but focus more on their top named grocery stores (i.e. Safeway/Vons/the many other faces of the name, I think if I remember correctly food4less/WinCo/Lucky's and Kroger are all union as well. Grocery stores who have unions are the favored group that the unions actually care about. I even had this information brought to me by my own union reps when I worked at Rite Aid, in all the different union locales. So be weary of the small chain drug store unions, all they do is take your money and provide sub par medical, which company medical is about the same, but without extra fees.
That is all!
Don't mind at all if you want to add to the conversation anyone is absolutely welcome to
Wish I was competent enough like you unfortunately if I'm ever to keep and perform well at a job it's gotta be some kind of slow paced where they don't care how ditzy I am. I'm also coming to terms now that I may possibly have high functioning autism and I need to get screened for that. If I were to be diagnosed I wonder what kind of can of worms will that open as far as getting and keeping a job as far as I know employers don't like "slow people".
Hmm... I know if you have a military installation close by an option would to be to land a job working in the commissary, or exchange. I know that the jobs do not require much in the matter of experience, and they are really accepting of all walks of life in the means for their positions.
This is just an idea that may work, besides their medical is actually pretty decent as well.
Kate <3
Always remember to smile your face
Would that require to join the military??
Also your profile pic is cute
It would not require any form of being in the military to get a job in those areas.
Also in a ways with working with the commisary or exchange, there are also chances that you could travel to other parts of the world to work on bases (of course non combat zones), and such would be really fun, and I do believe they pay travel expenses and reasonable housing if you do.
And thankies, I really like my Christmas hat, though it makes me miss a different one I had back in 2009, in which I wore all year round.
Kate <3
Always remember to smile your face
What kind of pace is the work normally if you know?? Would they tolerate someone if they happen to be a bit slow??
I'm not too sure their exact pace. But I've seen many working of different backgrounds of autism, or handicapped, and others working with no issues, at least to my knowledge.
I know if the small base I go to has a small exchange in which doesn't necessarily need a high pace as is. But other areas can be different I suppose.
Kate <3
Always remember to smile your face
Sorry for the late reply always working late as usual. They've had me on the weirdest schedule of lately. Normally, I work like 1530-0100 every four days in a row. But they've cut my hours for 3 whole weeks and shift my hour(s)/day(s) around hehehe. So my sleep schedule has been a bit iffy of lately. I mean I guess I can't relate to how tough unloading trucks is to ya'll. I mean I did use to free lift 250 lbs and I've lost roughly more than half of that within my near 6 mo HRT. I can still lift a decent amount even having lost a considerable amount on my back. But I'm still handy with unloading trucks. I do have to be very careful not to stress my back as much, because of the huge impact in loss of support there; as other areas of my bodies lost support. I've told them that and they promised not to put me back there as much as possible. Just do your research on all the companies you decide to apply to. It doesn't hurt getting multiples of second or even triple opinions to active employees, former employees, unbiased sources, and from the leaders themselves. Although, I can't deny the fact I will never accept a job because of how the pay is or what kind of work it is. I still have a few notable traits I will never abandon from my service. I suck everything up and just work. Seriously, no job is really that beneath me. Last week, I had to stop helping the whole Grocery, Fresh, and Backroom areas to go push carts for a whole 3 hours a couple of consecutive day(s) in a row. I volunteered of course, but mostly the fact I knew no one else wanted to. I'd rather be the one out there than someone else who isn't trained to take care of the situation at hand or is completely disinterest in the position. Even if I see someone needing a helping hand I'll still help them out whether I get permission or not. If you have a weak team member help them out and grow stronger it only increases the capabilities of the unit as a whole VS. letting them fail and letting not only them down, but yourself as well. Upper management doesn't really consider me an asset much less an escape goat despite I can work a good pace with no sleep for at least +120 hours. But in the end they let me take care of my own and in return I take care of them.
EDIT:
Just because your not undergoing treatment options at this time do know that when you do you will most definitely have much more strength in your lower body than you will in your upper body. I know tons of guys that would love to have more strength in the legs that have difficulty working on it themselves. It takes time to build muscle wherever your looking to build it. This goes without saying despite Males having much more muscle mass than Females. Don't overshoot the fact women can be stronger than any man at that looks can be deceiving. There are plenty of women that are Rangers and for good reason.
Usually that's been my attitude where no job is beneath me either but lately I been coming to terms that my best bet are jobs with low stress (whatever those may actually be) mainly due to developmental issues I've had since grade school which I'm finally coming to terms that they're here to stay. I simply can't work the type of jobs I had in the past I'll end up fired again and become further unemployable than I already am.
If anyone knows of any slow paced jobs where they don't usually care how fast or slow I work just as long as I get the job done please let me know. Any links are appreciated as well.
In going to suggest that you look into telemarketing. I know transportation is an issue and your not in a big city , but you never know.
Or, if your spelling and listening skills are good , look into doing closed captioning from home. Pays per job and it is possible to make some money. If I can remember the link , I'll send it to you. I wish I could have done it , but my grasp of grammar and hearing abilities disqualified me.
My hearing skills are kinda shot these days with working in too many plant sites. I don't know about the other two. LOL... I've heard there are like tech support calling you could try from home or even some billing companies.
Yeah I hope my hearing isn't a hindrance especially after an accident back in October where I lost my hearing in my right ear for about 5-10 minutes and I'm sure I have long term damage. Main issue I have with my hearing nowadays is that certain background noises, and I'm talking ones that aren't normally too loud to prohibit any hearing, will cause me not to hear anyone that's talking where used to this was never a problem.
If your using headphones, you should be good. I work as a telemarketer during the week and even with my hearing aids, I'm good on 80% of calls. I work in a restaurant at night and my hearing is an issue in that environment.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 26, 2016, 01:09:01 AM
Usually that's been my attitude where no job is beneath me either but lately I been coming to terms that my best bet are jobs with low stress (whatever those may actually be) mainly due to developmental issues I've had since grade school which I'm finally coming to terms that they're here to stay. I simply can't work the type of jobs I had in the past I'll end up fired again and become further unemployable than I already am.
Exactly what are these developmental issues you are talking about. Can you be more specific? It would be a lot easier to help you if we knew exactly what your "workarounds" need to be.
Quote from: CarlyMcx on June 28, 2016, 04:09:49 PM
Exactly what are these developmental issues you are talking about. Can you be more specific? It would be a lot easier to help you if we knew exactly what your "workarounds" need to be.
Like I've always been a slower/different learner since grade school I have documented learning disability to go with that. Heck some of my college instructors I've talked to concerning my classroom performance speculate that I might also be on the higher spectrum of Autism (ranging somewhere from high functioning to aspergers) I like to get tested for that one day. Basically I've always had difficulty processing complex things and difficulty with critical thinking like the type most professional jobs want you to have. It's really a wonder I even got my associates and yeah though I can't really explain why on this one I simply just can't handle fast paced jobs I just can't my last two jobs definitely proved that I didn't keep them very long though I did my best at them and had a positive attitude at all times.
Workarounds?? Like what kind of accommodations would I need to work a job??
I may have 86 Credits, but I wasn't able to obtain a single degree. I have issues learning, but I find that overcoming those hurdles with something I enjoy doing so helps me learn easily when it's something I'm interested in. A lot of us with Asperger's do have a bit of a learning curve, but we're highly intelligent in our own way. Some of the things we find very easy to comprehend and understand are very difficult for others to synthesize logically. We all have our quirks + we're all very different. Most of us have high-functioning whereas low-functioning sectors in our brains where people without Aspies tend to have more normal activity. Not to mention brain activity in LGBTQ People varies different from Cisgender People at times. So combining your gender identity along with Asperger's, well you do the math. LOL
I am very curious though Emily... What kind of Associates' Degree did you obtain and have you considered finding work in that area?
It's just a simple Associates of Science in General Studies I chose that cause of the flexibility it offered meaning no advanced math or science needed outside the bare basic required. Unfortunately General Studies is like one the most unemployable fields but hey I'm happy I managed to earn some kind of degree in my life.
No matter how unemployable it may or may not be try seeing if you can get a job with it. You might be very surprised what you may be able to do with it as your career takes off. And you might even get into furthering your own Education. You'd be very surprised trust me!
Am holding out hope that'll it eventually help me get a job I hope some employer out there will just look that I have a degree and hire me.
I may have never completed my Multimedia Design or Electro-Mechanical Engineering Degree, but I was still able to place a job in both of those respective fields. It took a long time and I had to show improvement on my skills as well as overall knowledge. It took me a very long time to get Dupont to take me for an internship and heck lemme tell you I failed the first three attempts to get one there. What eventually got me the internship was the fact I expressed interest in learning from the professionals to help gain experience with what I all ready know how to do. Same thing with A.O. Smith, I literally had to show them at the time when I was a temp worker and working the extra 4 hour shift how much I wanted a tech position. I cleaned and maintain the robotic arms to show I had skill and knowledge to an extent that they could utilize.
Even working a part time job while going to school indefinitely works when getting a job right off the bat with your degree. But if you get a part time job and still look for something with that degree your more likely to be hired showing your trying to work while find a job you really want to do VS. not working and still looking for something in your degree path.
When one door opens two more open up in its place. It's up to you to decide which door to go through remember that Emily.
Quote from: Raye on June 30, 2016, 08:44:21 AM
I may have never completed my Multimedia Design or Electro-Mechanical Engineering Degree, but I was still able to place a job in both of those respective fields. It took a long time and I had to show improvement on my skills as well as overall knowledge. It took me a very long time to get Dupont to take me for an internship and heck lemme tell you I failed the first three attempts to get one there. What eventually got me the internship was the fact I expressed interest in learning from the professionals to help gain experience with what I all ready know how to do. Same thing with A.O. Smith, I literally had to show them at the time when I was a temp worker and working the extra 4 hour shift how much I wanted a tech position. I cleaned and maintain the robotic arms to show I had skill and knowledge to an extent that they could utilize.
Wow that's impressive
You think so? I can't say I really put too much thought into it LOL. 0_0 But I know if you show promise, skill, knowledge, + a capacity to work long hours they will eventually invest into your training.
Like I said about a month ago I was working at A.O. Smith in Ashland City + Wal-Mart in Fairview so I was putting in about 85 hours a week. 55 at the plant + 36 at the store. And the hours would shift around at each place roughly.
Indeed I do think that's impressive. Yeah I always do that stuff you mentioned when I do land an interview but somehow I always fail to leave an impression seems like. Plus I couldn't act to save my life and I've practiced. If I may ask what would you do if suddenly you lost your current job and after doing job search after job search nothing would hire you and by that time you exhausted all options. What would you do then??
p.s. love your profile pic you look soo cute :)
Personally chances are what ever job it is... I'm usually over qualified especially if it's a minimum wage job so particularly for those I apply directly towards management. Sometimes I get the position and sometimes I don't. I've worked so many mw positions it's no joke lol. Anything in my field.... 2 1/2 Engineering College Experience + 3 years field work. I'm considered in between under qualified and over qualified. Most of your experience will come through the field. That's why who take internships whole working for a degree will be hand-picked by companies first then by just people who only attended and passed courses.
Leaving an impression be hard at times. Most of my resumes are in white with light or pink text. Sometimes I'll have a sky blue background with black lettering. It helps make your resume more noticable. It also looks pretty cute! ^^ Call ahead of time to tell them you put your name on for positions. Then ask if there is a day and time best to come in for an interview around their time. Let them know you mean business up front. Tell them what you can do for them and not comparing yourself to anyone their already. It doesn't look good on you when you start trying to show off. So don't seem to desperate or exaggerative. Call up for streaming checkups to still let that person your still interested in the position. If you get an interview ask for feedback about the interview from his/her perspective and yours. Even if things seem bad that won't automatically discount your value in any way. It shows them your always looking to improve and that your a go getter. It's always best a couple days later to ask that person some feedback of how you liked the interview and what particularly you enjoyed about it. I hope that helps you leave an impression. Don't give up just because there interview bonded. Persistence is key to victory in the job market war!
Awwweee thanks Emily I just woke up and liked what I saw lol. And it was about time for an update since that's practically my 6 mo mark on HRT. Dat bed hair is legit!
I'll keep trying though volunteer work is looking like my only solution. I actually thought about immigrating to Canada for work but that's incredibility hard to do. Honestly I feel like giving up and realize no employer wants me cause I'm not good at much outside of history and geography.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 03, 2016, 12:47:38 AM
I'll keep trying though volunteer work is looking like my only solution. I actually thought about immigrating to Canada for work but that's incredibility hard to do. Honestly I feel like giving up and realize no employer wants me cause I'm not good at much outside of history and geography.
That's a start try volunteering work to get a job. If your not good in other areas other than History + Geography try getting something with that type of work or try to increase your knowledge in other areas. Seriously I wouldn't give up because you think your unemployable. Trust me I've been in your shoes before it's not a happy situation to be in you shouldn't falter so easily to be undermined by your own depression. Because that depression might be with you right now, but it's not you by any means. That cloud will ride away like all clouds in our atmosphere do.
I like to increase my knowledge and skills but I don't know how
Try asking for an apprenticeship position or like an understudy I don't know where those type of positions would be. But you should try seeing if any of those exist. You'll gain some knowledge that will help you attend something else at school to broaden your knowledge. There are tests you can take that will allow you to opt out of taking that course and simply passing those tests will gain you a credit required. It's something I've considered doing to get my Electro-Mechanical Engineering Degree faster if I'm able to. You have to pay a fee to take the test so it's better to brush up on any knowledge extensively before you go for something like that.
Wish it were that easy for me my biggest problem is that everything is either too hard or seems too hard and it difficult for me to overcome that
That's the thing you gotta quit that mindset and you'll succeed stop worrying about the particular jobs. Just apply see how you do and if you see you can't keep up try harder. I know this is harsh talking here, but it's true. The only way you will improve and gain some confidence is if you put yourself up to them and knock down the barriers one by one!
Life is about solving one problem after another. Then solving another problem after that one. And so on after those problems you'll come across more problems to solve. If you give up on solving problems your not going to become a master problem solver before you die. I still have problems to solve before I die I'm not perfect, and I'm not as successful as I'd like to be. But when you start comparing one person's success to yours you won't get anywhere in life. Don't worry about what another person is doing. Worry about you and get your own success. Only then will you see that blanket of failure and depression lifted.
longer term, you should stick with History and Geography, since that's what you like and probably would be good at
https://www.history.org.uk/student/resource/2914/careers-in-history
http://www.indeed.com/q-History-jobs.html
Attitude is very important. Much of my work has involved fixing software bugs that everybody else has given up on. I had nobody to pass the bugs on to so if I couldn't fix them, I was stuck with them. Some bugs 3 or 4 people had looked at and were unable to solve but I solved them in a few hours. Others I look at and think about while I am doing something else. When the time is right, I go back and take another look. The longest term bug took 8 years to locate because it would only fail once or twice a year and the failure wasn't harmful.
The important thing when dealing with any problem is never to give up. Put the problem on the back burner if you must but try to approach the problem from another direction. I have the view that everybody is a genius in their own field. The problem is finding that field and the only way to do that is look at as many things possible and eliminate the ones that don't work. You like maps so what about a place like Thomas Brothers (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Guide) who produce maps and constantly need to update them. The makers of GPS devices also need up to date maps and you may be able to find a job with them. I suspect many of these jobs could now be done remotely as you only need to look updates and incorporate them into the maps but keep looking for that answer.
Quote from: Soli on July 03, 2016, 06:15:33 AM
longer term, you should stick with History and Geography, since that's what you like and probably would be good at
https://www.history.org.uk/student/resource/2914/careers-in-history
http://www.indeed.com/q-History-jobs.html
Sadly most of those job require a masters degree or higher and I was barely able to get my associates and failed twice trying to get a bachelors.
[quote author=Dena link=topic=210498.msg1874487#msg1874487 date=1467562335
The important thing when dealing with any problem is never to give up. Put the problem on the back burner if you must but try to approach the problem from another direction. I have the view that everybody is a genius in their own field. The problem is finding that field and the only way to do that is look at as many things possible and eliminate the ones that don't work. You like maps so what about a place like Thomas Brothers (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Guide) who produce maps and constantly need to update them. The makers of GPS devices also need up to date maps and you may be able to find a job with them. I suspect many of these jobs could now be done remotely as you only need to look updates and incorporate them into the maps but keep looking for that answer.
[/quote]
I looked into those jobs and the amount of math they require for a degree to get a job doing that is way beyond my head.
Are there any job programs I could maybe do besides Jobcorps (I don't qualify due to my age)??
Alrighty I'm gonna change up the subject.
Ok so it's July now and August will be here soon and I need to move out drastically before my dad in particular finds out I'm not going back to be a teacher. I'll worry about getting a job later right now I gotta move out before July ends. Yes I realize I should tell my dad but when it comes to situations like this I'm terrified of him and I know how angry he'll be since he bee paying my tuition (and mind that I never asked him to do it either I was forced to go back aftet getting my associates).
I'll worry about getting a job later right now I need help figuring where I can go unfortunately none of my friends are in position to let me stay with them. I need to get somewhere asap. It's at a point where I need to either get out asap or my parents drive me to suicide with their attitude toward me. Please any help is appreciated.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 04, 2016, 03:19:23 AM
Alrighty I'm gonna change up the subject.
Ok so it's July now and August will be here soon and I need to move out drastically before my dad in particular finds out I'm not going back to be a teacher. I'll worry about getting a job later right now I gotta move out before July ends. Yes I realize I should tell my dad but when it comes to situations like this I'm terrified of him and I know how angry he'll be since he bee paying my tuition (and mind that I never asked him to do it either I was forced to go back aftet getting my associates).
I'll worry about getting a job later right now I need help figuring where I can go unfortunately none of my friends are in position to let me stay with them. I need to get somewhere asap. It's at a point where I need to either get out asap or my parents drive me to suicide with their attitude toward me. Please any help is appreciated.
I understand where your coming of course as I've been saying that I moved out of my parents place after I graduated highschool at the age of 19. But that was because I had a job and were going to school along with going into Basic Training at the time. And I know I've told you many times about not needing to be around negativity. And I've also said you might as well be living under their roof to show them how much stress and unhappy they are making you. Either not accepting your Gender Identity or that school isn't for you. Your better off proving them wrong and making them understand than to be spiteful and showing retribution towards them. It's not worth it at all. Emily listen to me you don't have a job no one is able to take you in. Your parents are willing to pay for your schooling/housing right now. They do not respect your Gender Identity nor your Happiness, but you gotta tough it up girl. You may not do well in school, but you gotta try hard to get that 4 Year Degree. If they are paying for it you should take them up on their offer. I've told you I regretted moving away from my family one of them for support that I might have gotten and for schooling they might have paid for. I did it all with these own two hands of mine and it took longer than being sooner had I chosen to stay. Please do not give up on all of that you might be VERY surprised at what may happen. I'm not asking you to suck it in and take choke down on your womanhood by any means. I'm just trying to show you how to weigh out your options. You've all ready stated that some jobs you could do require a Bachelor's and/or Master's Degree. Go do that go with what your heart is telling you to get those jobs. It's not a defeat it's a strategic retreat saying you'll back down a bit for now, but you'll become a roaring lioness down the road. If it turns into a complete shattered abuse like being sexually abused like I was get the heck out. If not and you can't tell the difference between being pissed off or teaching a lesson to show the error of your ways then just calm down, take deep breaths, and relax. If school is that stressful ask to take a Summer Semester off and return in the Fall. I'm quite sure you can put up with your family for 2-3 months before you return. Again I didn't have any support because I gave up on it. You gotta chance to make your life grand don't throw it away without deeply thinking about it. If you don't have a place to go to, much less a job it's not worth being homeless. I been there it sucks completely. One discharge for being who you are and what you suffer from is all it takes to become unemployable for a very long time. I had to crawl my way back up to the surface it was hard, but I managed to overcome my status.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 04, 2016, 03:19:23 AM
Alrighty I'm gonna change up the subject.
Ok so it's July now and August will be here soon and I need to move out drastically before my dad in particular finds out I'm not going back to be a teacher. I'll worry about getting a job later right now I gotta move out before July ends. Yes I realize I should tell my dad but when it comes to situations like this I'm terrified of him and I know how angry he'll be since he bee paying my tuition (and mind that I never asked him to do it either I was forced to go back aftet getting my associates).
I'll worry about getting a job later right now I need help figuring where I can go unfortunately none of my friends are in position to let me stay with them. I need to get somewhere asap. It's at a point where I need to either get out asap or my parents drive me to suicide with their attitude toward me. Please any help is appreciated.
Emily, I have a suggestion but I do hope you at least consider it and not negate it as well; volunteering. Volunteering is a great way to get the experience points you need for obtaining a job. Many employers see volunteer work as a sort of rite to beginning paid work. You ever gave that some thought?
And yeah, I'm sorry that your parents are so stubborn and cannot accept you. But that is no excuse for you to want to kill yourself. Lots of people, including my dad, can't accept or agree with who I am, but I ain't gonna kill myself over their stupidity so I'm dead and they still living. That isn't fair to me and it isn't fair to you. You, me and everyone deserves the best out of life. :)
I really need to move away earlier this morning has proven that even more with how hateful my brother acted toward me.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 05, 2016, 12:30:45 AM
I really need to move away earlier this morning has proven that even more with how hateful my brother acted toward me.
What kind of things has he said to you? And have you tried to get him to understand? What about reasoning with him?
To explain further my parents have been away for like a week on vacation and not only was I put in charge of watching over the house but also helping my brother get ready for work and just about every morning he's been hateful toward me saying mean things to me and it's like I can't ever do anything right. Earlier this morning it got even worse he actually hit me (no bruising or anything). I'm to the point I'm scared of him and this not the first time he's hit me and I do tell my parents how he acts toward me and though they make him apologize my mom in particular makes excuses like he works all the time and is tired and that I need to just ignore him.
My homelife is just toxic and is only gonna get worse come august there's no telling what kind of isolation they'll force upon me then or really no telling what they'll do though my dad never been violent he can be hot tempered and the las few times he gotten tempered with me it's made be more than uncomfortable to even talk about college stuff. Again I gotta get out asap I don't care if I am homeless anything better than what I'm dealing with now and I'm sure with my tax info I could maybe get assistance until I'm on my feet.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 05, 2016, 01:00:39 AM
To explain further my parents have been away for like a week on vacation and not only was I put in charge of watching over the house but also helping my brother get ready for work and just about every morning he's been hateful toward me saying mean things to me and it's like I can't ever do anything right. Earlier this morning it got even worse he actually hit me (no bruising or anything). I'm to the point I'm scared of him and this not the first time he's hit me and I do tell my parents how he acts toward me and though they make him apologize my mom in particular makes excuses like he works all the time and is tired and that I need to just ignore him.
My homelife is just toxic and is only gonna get worse come august there's no telling what kind of isolation they'll force upon me then or really no telling what they'll do though my dad never been violent he can be hot tempered and the las few times he gotten tempered with me it's made be more than uncomfortable to even talk about college stuff. Again I gotta get out asap I don't care if I am homeless anything better than what I'm dealing with now and I'm sure with my tax info I could maybe get assistance until I'm on my feet.
I would have reported your brother to the police for aggravated assault. And yes, you ought to look into public assistance or some kind of protective agency in your area. They might be able to help you find another place to live. I think that should be your first priority to getting a job. I'm sorry you are going through all of this.
I wanted to but the tension that'll cause I couldn't handle it. Hate to say this but I'm deciding to give up on getting a job until I can get away first (it needs to be done) and besides the more I think about I'm afraid of falling in that gap of making too little for assistance and not making enough to live. Don't wanna be like that but I gotta do what I gotta do to survive.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 05, 2016, 01:42:17 AM
I wanted to but the tension that'll cause I couldn't handle it. Hate to say this but I'm deciding to give up on getting a job until I can get away first (it needs to be done) and besides the more I think about I'm afraid of falling in that gap of making too little for assistance and not making enough to live. Don't wanna be like that but I gotta do what I gotta do to survive.
You need to look into the assistance as soon as possible. Do you have any pepper spray, in case you really need to defend yourself from your brother? I don't want him to hurt you again or to the point you are hospitalized. Sounds like your parents would only be on his side and are against you anyway. If it gets to that point, please call the police. You're safety comes first.
Be safe, Emily. Please.
Don't worry I will
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 05, 2016, 01:52:13 AM
Don't worry I will
I think you are so brave to stand firm in this horrendous situation you are forced to be in. I really am sorry that anyone would ever have to endure such hardship from their own family. Keep us updated on how everything is going, please. I know too well the pain you must feel. It's just terrible when the rejection, criticizing and hurt comes from your own flesh and blood. I admire your perseverance and strength. I wish I could be more help. I really don't like your brother putting his hands on you and then your parents don't adequately handle that as they should.
And I know it must be hard with the situation with your dad you hang in there to and I'll continue to do the same.
Quote from: King Phoenix on July 05, 2016, 02:00:39 AM
I think you are so brave to stand firm in this horrendous situation you are forced to be in. I really am sorry that anyone would ever have to endure such hardship from their own family. Keep us updated on how everything is going, please. I know too well the pain you must feel. It's just terrible when the rejection, criticizing and hurt comes from your own flesh and blood. I admire your perseverance and strength. I wish I could be more help. I really don't like your brother putting his hands on you and then your parents don't adequately handle that as they should.
You have a lot of emotional and mental support here Emily. From someone who's been in abusive situations before I was able to defend myself adequately from having the muscle mass + defensive techniques. I don't like using my Muay Thai, but it is my goto regarding defense. It puts a huge strain and bodily injury on the person it's being used on, but far more of a strain on the person using it. I really feel for you like Phoenix does. Regarding 'just' verbal abuse you can't really do anything about that - no matter how painful it may be. Believe me when I was moving out of my old place I asked multiple officers if I could do anything about it. They said you can't 'at least' not without proper documentation of it being considered Verbal Abuse/Assault. And believe me it wasn't just the Sexual Abuse I got from him that pissed me off so much. My failure (or downfall) was that I didn't report every incident when I should have, but I also didn't want to be evicted from the premises for causing a wreck each time they happened on a daily basis. The Landlord would have evicted both of us if that happened. You could get a Restraining Order, but albeit you'd be forced to leave because your parents would say you would have to go instead of your brother.
However, he's not only using Verbal Abuse, but physical violence - which just raise red flags when the officer questions you. That together is a thing, but only if the physical violence is considered Abuse/Assault. If it's one punch or two maybe not assault, but if it is multiple that's a different story. As far as I know, I'm not a lawyer or an officer any way just a simple person.
I've always been rough housing with my family, but it wasn't abusive more like being young and stupid and fighting over nothing just for fun really. At least not till I came out anyway and then I did move out. I was always called, "The Black Dog" or "The Gay Boi" of the family after that. So I dunno what to say other than gain some muscle and learn some defensive techniques and/or get some pepper spray at least the later. And document each case that happens until you move out. At least REPORT those incidents if anything. It will help you in the long run even if it means your life will be a living hell, but the government loves minorities in my OP right now. It might help you get out of that situation easier and help you get a sustainable job. But to be honest isn't that a bit of extortion?
If anything you'd be surprised we have some good cops these days right now that may be sympathetic to our issues. Maybe not knowledgeable in the topic, but willing to help any way they can. If they feel the issue is not entirely your brother, but your family as a whole good things might come following later reports for you to get out. But most cops in Tennessee prefer to stay out of these situations as well. We're adults after all the best they will say is report it again if it happens and maybe they can do something about it and/or tell you to get a job as soon as you can and move out then.
PLEASE be safe seriously from someone who's been in a situation like that like many people here have. Both sides will suffer the same coin from the first draw of blood indefinitely.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 05, 2016, 02:10:31 AM
And I know it must be hard with the situation with your dad you hang in there to and I'll continue to do the same.
I know it's not easy. I might not know all of what you are dealing with; just what you share with us. Remember, if you ever need to talk with someone, I don't mind. It's even hard for me to sleep at night because I worry about the next day. So literally, you can message me anytime you want. I hope I am not annoying you. I guess it's just your struggles really move me because they are quite the reflection of what I had to deal with for years with my own family. It's amazing how similar our struggles are I'm sorry I am of no real help. I wish I could pull you out of there and get you into a more comfortable living arrangement myself. You're a great human being and you do not need the negative influences of your family. They are killing you. You need to live.
You're not annoying at all in fact I'm soo greatful to have people to talk to on here you, Raye, and Soli are awesome :)
Honestly, Em we really don't want you to make poor choices, but good ones. We really feel for your situation. Physically I don't think we can do anything, but report your issues to the authority with this documented case here. I don't know if Susans.org is at that point yet, but I've heard something like that did happen at least once in my lifetime.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 05, 2016, 02:32:21 AM
You're not annoying at all in fact I'm soo greatful to have people to talk to on here you, Raye, and Soli are awesome :)
Great. If you need to chat, don't ever be afraid to PM me even if I do not respond right away; I will sooner or later. Yeah, Raye and Soli are awesome aren't they? And so are you! :D
Quote from: King Phoenix on July 05, 2016, 02:37:33 AM
Great. If you need to chat, don't ever be afraid to PM me even if I do not respond right away; I will sooner or later. Yeah, Raye and Soli are awesome aren't they? And so are you! :D
I'm not too awesome, just the old shining knight in me from my war days I guess... LOL that'll be the last thing I'll never lose from my manhood into womanhood here. I like to consider myself a Polar Bear. My appearance doesn't tell people about myself, because you can't see under the fur. But you know I'm a vigilant protector and that's all there is to it. These hands have had their fair share of blood on them + I've seen more than my own fair share in this life time all ready. I don't want to them to ever be bloodied again even if it's for defense. Like I said I really don't like using my style to defend against people, but I will if need be. But I'd prefer to just take the punches and not share the pain either at the same time.
Quote from: Raye on July 05, 2016, 02:45:22 AM
I'm not too awesome, just the old shining knight in me from my war days I guess... LOL that'll be the last thing I'll never lose from my manhood into womanhood here. I like to consider myself a Polar Bear. My appearance doesn't tell people about myself, because you can't see under the fur. But you know I'm a vigilant protector and that's all there is to it. These hands have had their fair share of blood on them + I've seen more than my own fair share in this life time all ready. I don't want to them to ever be bloodied again even if it's for defense. Like I said I really don't like using my style to defend against people, but I will if need be. But I'd prefer to just take the punches and not share the pain either at the same time.
You're very commendable and brave yourself. :)
humans are awesome when they cooperate and help each other, and also in my opinion when they accomplish anything creative, anything new, an idea, anything. I need to go forward, always have. Towards new.
but you'll find there is not much cooperation in this world and must realize you are on your own. That means basically you can't count on any program or anyone to help you. On your own. That means you must work, and you will.
I remember when I quit school on my 16th birthday, I wrote a very long letter to myself. School was just an impossible task for me, not intellectually, more socially, so I was decided and jumped into life with my little knowledge (but great reading skills). I knew I was on my own. I wrote it down.
Then I was exactly your age when I finally figured I needed to go back to school and started to work towards that. That's actually when my life started.
But homeless is very, very hard on someone, Emily, I tasted some of it and it's a downbound train, you don't want to aim for that. I mean really.
that's also what I meant by a plan... you need to get down to the drawing board and construct yourself, tell yourself: This is what I want to be, this is what I want to do !!! (do write it down for yourself)
And realize there is only you to get there, I mean you're on your own, it's your plan, your life... maybe you will get help, maybe not, don't count on it. You need to want something. The word want is the important one here. You're on your own also means you own yourself.
in clear what I'm saying is you will work, you'll have no choice and it will be much easier elsewhere to find a job, any job, sweep the floor, whatever.
and if ever you end up on the street, I hope you quickly get out of that situation
but you won't if...
you want to
be yourself
Don't spend the little money you have on plane
it's bus or
https://www.erideshare.com/
https://www.rdvouz.com/
https://www.carpoolingnetwork.com/index.aspx
I guess you just need to go now
and in my opinion, find employment asap
(of course after having sat a while in front of your drawing board to define more precisely what you want to do, to be, and realize that the only way between where you are now and that you you'll sketch is will. If you want to get there, really, want to, you will do what's needed. And you can!)
I'll also say not to depend on social services for much help. The people that work there mean well, but the programs are generally under funded and the people are over worked. They can maybe get you some help, but if you have to rely on them you'll be in trouble.
Sorry to say, but your mostly on your own.
Stay strong and don't give up. You can make things happen if you persist.
Hugs
Stevie
Quote from: EmilyRyan on June 04, 2016, 10:11:13 PM
It's a shame they're so expensive to live and being progressive states you think their legislatures would address the issues and make their states more affordable
Someone has to pay for all that progressivism and it comes from taxes, which is out of people's pockets. Just the reality of it. There's no free lunch.
Quote from: Gertrude on July 05, 2016, 01:37:21 PM
Someone has to pay for all that progressivism and it comes from taxes, which is out of people's pockets. Just the reality of it. There's no free lunch.
Sure I might have had tax exemptions at the time, but I was busting my butt not to die on the job. And now I do pay taxes more than I use to, it's just part of the 'giving-back' society we live in. I'd take everyone's advice here seriously with a large grain of salt and consider them heavily.
Hey Emily, I've been watching your thread for awhile and I wanted to share my experience with you from last year.
First off take a breath, no matter where you can be, outside, in a closet, bathroom. Just take a deep breath and try and find a moment of calm no matter how little or long that lasts.
One of the worst mistakes I made last year is I fell into a state of desperation due to the situation i was in. I had been dealing with abuse for years and last year I made a real decision to try and leave. I planned it to the letter. I knew I was going to get a large some of money and I knew I only had one chance to make escape to a better life a reality. I looked at how much money I had, and then I looked into hotels that had a kitchen. I found out about extended stays. The more your rent your room, the more this discount. I calculated that price for a 12 month stay, I broke down how much I would need for food (i don't eat much if i must), then I looked at surrounding services, transport, etc that I could use once I got to where I wanted to. i looked up therapists, everything and planned down right. But the whole time I was frightened, scared and feeling desperate. The situation with my family had gotten worse, even more so that I became an unintentional caregiver to a parent who at the time couldn't walk and ended up changing and washing him. I was getting hell from my mother and father for being such a baby about crying and was remind that the adopted me, raised me, fed, clothed and it was my time to care for them.
All through that I still planned and had froze. I had to find a caregiver for my parents, because leaving them alone would have been unsafe and possibly illegal, yet when I finally got the courage to tell them and show them rsources, they rejected it and downtalked me until I submitted and gave up. I had planned to leave that May, but I had become so depressed and so desperate that I started leaning on strangers. I ended up creating a terrible illusion that a random stranger had come to save me and had a safe place for me, but instead it was all a lie. I had cut ties with old friends who were not healthy, gathered the strength to tell my parents I'm gone, and I took the car I bought and drove 600-700 miles to another state where this person was and ended up getting stood up and left stranded. I ended up having to stay in a hotel until I figure out what to do, but I ended up running out of money and had to come home. I had a bad mental breakdown when I returned, and everything fell apart. My car went to hell, and I had no money whatsoever.
My point with this is, no matter what you decide to do, try to stay calm and rational, and don't let "too good to be true" to distract you from what you want. Because you know more than others, because you are in the fire. All anyone can do is help you with resources, strength and support, but you're the one that has to find a way out and through.
Now I'm trying to fight the depression and find a way to make money with my talents, and it's very slow going. The family situation is better, because I've resigned myself. I still feel a hint of desperation now and then and try to keep calm and focused on making money. I don't have any friends anymore, just passing acquaintances. I'm my own friend, strength and motivator. If you can find any way to slowly work on your confidence in yourself, you will be one step closer to get where you want to get too.
Take care and Bless
Mistake or not I need to get out asap no matter the consequences
The agonizing pressure from parents, my brother's hateful attitude, and dysphoria are all becoming too much to bear
Normally I wouldn't suggest this mostly because I wouldn't want blood on your hands like I have on mine. But there are positions in the Military you can take up that don't involve being on the front lines, in specifically a Ranger. The government has been coming around. I don't know if you could openly serve as a woman, but they are making standards were it's not allowed to be biased towards people like us now. I wouldn't go back, but it's worth a shot to see how that turns out for you. But you need to be strong, stronger than you are now. The military is much differently than when I was there and they will break you. You need to be strong, but it will get you out of that situation if your lucky and take your time with it. Don't use words like I'm going through stress or I need to get in to get out of my current living they won't take you then. They'll see you as a compromise to a team or unit if that's the case. But as of right now I don't recommend you go that route either due to the mental condition your in right now. But if you can suck it up and conquer this depression and much more - it will mold you into a stronger and more amazing woman you are now. You don't need to be physically strong, you just need an Iron Will to not give up and knock down every barrier in front of you. An unfaltering will, but one that will back off to authority is all.
I couldn't handle being in the military if I tried. Too much physicality for me and no private showers during basic I'm terrified of that. Trust me I wouldn't make it out of basic
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 06, 2016, 01:22:24 AM
I couldn't handle being in the military if I tried. Too much physicality for me and no private showers during basic I'm terrified of that. Trust me I wouldn't make it out of basic
I'm not going to push something, but so far everything that has been suggested you feel it would be too hard. And believe me if you thought my Highschool Years were the worse for my Gender Dysphoria it's a miracle I even made it through BT and AIT. But it did mold me into a stronger person is all, even if it was worse than good for the most part.
I'm sorry I keep saying everything is too hard all experiences between the time I graduated high school to present have taught me what I can and can't do really. Honestly it's a wonder I can even function on my own at all. I know there's no easy in life but if I'm ever gonna keep a job I need one that's simple that I can work competently and not worry about being let go like my previous jobs.
That's what I keep telling you, sure you might have a learning disability like I do, but... I'm telling you the capability to learn is in your head. I was able to nearly knock dead my Aspies, we're really some intelligent people. And I KNOW for a fact you can knock that part that's in your head dead. If you keep thinking you can't do it it will affect your overall thinking in your mind. You may not be aware of that, but certainly you should to see how it has affected you now. I got faith in you Emily do you not see that?!
I do but I don't what to do though I get overwhelmed and stressed soo easily and all attempts to overcome have failed. I'm sorry I know that there's no easy in life but I need easy for my wellbeing's sake. It's how I got my associates I took mostly easy classes though I almost failed math and biology.
Plus I need an employer that's understanding and won't fire me cause I'm "slower" than the rest
How about... Library Assistant, House Cleaning, Home Health Services, Receptionist, School Jobs, Animal Welfare/Support Agencies, or even a Security position on the Graveyard Shift I've heard are easy peasy. Slow Paced and not too hard. I've often felt that was something I could all easy do. And I'm not even the fastest worker at work.
Okay I really need to make something to eat. This depression and not having my service animal takes a toll on this body. Even though I managed to sleep 12 hours for once I gotta make something to lighten up the mood. ^^ Last two days in total before I managed to get 4 hours of sleep.
Where could I go till I get a job?? I really can't remain with my parents much longer
Quote from: Raye on July 06, 2016, 02:32:12 AM
That's what I keep telling you, sure you might have a learning disability like I do, but... I'm telling you the capability to learn is in your head. I was able to nearly knock dead my Aspies, we're really some intelligent people. And I KNOW for a fact you can knock that part that's in your head dead. If you keep thinking you can't do it it will affect your overall thinking in your mind. You may not be aware of that, but certainly you should to see how it has affected you now. I got faith in you Emily do you not see that?!
I think I am an Aspie too. Now I can see why this could be hard for Emily. It is not easy to socialize for Aspies. She really needs some kind of vocational rehab before entering the workforce. I tried it but I admit I was very uncooperative due to being even more depressed than I am now from being in girl mode. But it could work for Emily, possibly. Have you ever heard of vocational rehab anyone? Has anyone been successful with it?
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 07, 2016, 02:55:55 AM
Where could I go till I get a job?? I really can't remain with my parents much longer
I'm honestly not sure babe, your gonna have to ask around town, but you really need a source of income before moving out. That's really the only way your going to be able to get housing. When I came back from my last tour from Kandahar and I've mentioned about my wife passing I was homeless for 3 months. What I did was camp out in the forest with my Jeep and set up a tent by a river and lived off the land with proper camping, fishing, + burning permits. Eventually I was able to get a job and get off the land into something more suitable. It's tough and honestly I don't know many people who could do that for a whole 3 months.
Quote from: Tristyn on July 07, 2016, 03:12:44 AM
I think I am an Aspie too. Now I can see why this could be hard for Emily. It is not easy to socialize for Aspies. She really needs some kind of vocational rehab before entering the workforce. I tried it but I admit I was very uncooperative due to being even more depressed than I am now from being in girl mode. But it could work for Emily, possibly. Have you ever heard of vocational rehab anyone? Has anyone been successful with it?
The only way I know to make Asperger's Syndrome your bishquit and to make it a Strength NOT a Weakness so to speak. Is you really gotta take advantage of the positives. If you find something you really enjoy doing, you'll find that you'll be able to learn it much faster in a shorter amount of time than those who do not have the apptiude or knowledge for that particular skill. Like I said many of us with Aspies are highly intelligent people. It's a gift and a curse, regarding social positions. Yes HRT helped me significantly overcome my disability regarding these particular situations. However for the most part I remained secluded from the social aspects of life until I started working. What I found helped my social anxiety and language communication barriers was to put myself right in front of the action. If I said something wrong and it pissed someone off I tried not saying those particular words or the tone and flow of how I made it come out of my mouth. I got my butt plenty trying to get better with my communication. And right now it might seem pretty decent especially if you watch my YT Videos, but I still have a long ways to go. What I mean by HRT helping me a lot with my disability - at least for me, I couldn't understand emotions + feelings to well. I was very desensitized not only only to my own emotions, but other people's and how they felt about the way I delivered words verbally. With being on it I've become much more sensitive to people's emotions and feelings as well my own. But again I still have a long ways to go and I constantly improve on a daily basis. Just because you have Asperger's doesn't mean you have to live with it making you get down each and every day to be owned by it.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 07, 2016, 02:55:55 AM
Where could I go till I get a job?? I really can't remain with my parents much longer
I don't know... Usually, one resorts in this type of situation to family, extended family, friends, friends of friends, or very extended family or friends of them.
I don't know USA that much so I don't know. Up here, I'd have a few clues to guide you towards, maybe... I'm sure there are LGBT shelters around here... There's an empty room with no window :( here, cheap... but it's in Canada and you can't work here.
Raye says you need employment before leaving, I said from the start just pick up your things and go... towards a city where weirdos (like me) are tolerated and can find employment. I don't know... maybe you can't handle it and maybe by leaving you're heading straight into big troubles, I don't know you enough.
You need help, you'd need a cousin or an aunt that could shelter you, I dunno
when I was young, I would just leave. I have a very large family, people in all corners of the country, so there were my ressources, I got a job out West through my brother who sheltered me there. But I had a tent and was very motivated since I was like 14 to be free... I never could cope with authority, hierarchies and titles, so I resolved to be autonomous, and I guess it's not your case, so I dunno if you can handle being on your own.
well if you don't have family ressources or friends of friends, you need another kind of shelter.
if you feel your life is no longer bearable you need shelter
I don't know your country enough to help you :-\
Unfortunately I have no other family I could turn to and honestly I do have doubts I could even make it on my own whether I'm 24 or even 40 I may have to face that fact that someone may have to help take care of me though I hope it don't come to that
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 07, 2016, 10:33:31 PM
Unfortunately I have no other family I could turn to
that's sad, not even a friend of a friend?
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 07, 2016, 10:33:31 PMand honestly I do have doubts I could even make it on my own whether I'm 24 or even 40 I may have to face that fact that someone may have to help take care of me though I hope it don't come to that
You know what, Emily? I don't think so. Really I don't. But then again, I don't know you, really, so maybe you're right.
But you won't lose much giving a couple more tries at taking control of your own self and starting to see things on a brighter side. I mean on the long run, we're all going to die, but meantime we can try to have fun, and most people don't focus on the bad side of life, on the fact that they will get old and die, they try to live life at its fullest. Your attitude on this thread has been from the start that you had given up and are seeking an unknown hand that will lift you up to that feminine someone on HRT. And what after? And what if HRT doesn't turn out all that much and fast enough? Say no breasts growth, no money to get some... or you'd need more estrogen but can't afford it? You can't just focus on HRT, you also need a life of some kind. I'd say it's time to close that thread also and start on more positive grounds, wherever you end up to be in the next few weeks. We'd like to keep on trying to help you and keep in touch, we care, but it's difficult to return to this thread. I think all has been said on the subject, Emily. Start in new.
Quote from: Soli on July 08, 2016, 12:03:10 AM
that's sad, not even a friend of a friend?
Nope
Quote from: Soli on July 08, 2016, 12:03:10 AMquote author=Soli link=topic=210498.msg1876145#msg1876145 date=1467954190]
And what after? And what if HRT doesn't turn out all that much and fast enough? Say no breasts growth, no money to get some... or you'd need more estrogen but can't afford it? You can't just focus on HRT, you also need a life of some kind. .
It's a risk I'm willing to take I mean what other choices do us trans people have with dealing with the dysphoria that plagues each of us?? Tell you the truth I don't necessarily have all that much to live for
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 08, 2016, 01:01:17 AM
It's a risk I'm willing to take I mean what other choices do us trans people have with dealing with the dysphoria that plagues each of us?? Tell you the truth I don't necessarily have all that much to live for
Emily I wholeheartedly agree with Soli on what she has said about you needing to focus on the obtainable and make something of that. I was miserable then and I was until I got on HRT. But it's not all roses and daisies. You still gotta fight demons then. Hell I can't get a break in between people trying to get me fired at work because of who I am. And people who stole my dog. I became so stressed out I have not been joking at all about being afraid to sleep without my service animals. I get PTSD from some crap years ago and I get terrible night tears. Those will never change being on HRT believe me. I was so pissed and stressed up I even went back to cutting myself today. I became exhausted, disinterest, and ultimately unmotivated today at work it sucked completely. And that was a first in a while at work one I don't plan to remake. HRT does help alot, but you really need to be financially sound first. I'm telling you your going to have to get out of your comfort zone and look for work at least the one's we suggested. Please just go and do it don't be afraid because you think it's hard. NO one has a right to say they can't do a job until they've done it and even then those people don't forget till they applied for the same position in other work places to find out they can't do the work.
Yeah I completely understand where ya coming from it's that if it weren't for my current situation right there wouldn't be a need to take this blind leap of faith.
Also I'm sorry you're going through a hard time right now can't believe someone would steal you service dog I hope you either get it back or they give you a new one real soon. Hey if you every just need to talk feel free to pm me anytime despite what I'm going through and such I'm too here to listen to others as well. Please hang in there and I'll be sure to do the same.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 08, 2016, 02:36:00 AM
Yeah I completely understand where ya coming from it's that if it weren't for my current situation right there wouldn't be a need to take this blind leap of faith.
Sometimes it is what is necessary to be free. Think about African American slaves, for example. Or immigration. These folks have both took 'blind leaps of faith' to be free because it was worth that risk versus remaining in their imprisoning situations. If you feel that this is the only way out, then do it but be smart about it. Don't catch a plane or bus just anywhere. Make sure that where ever you are going you can get the help you need.
You know what, Emily? Why not contact the Social Services in your local area and have them help you find a place to live? I am doing that right now. The only thing you might not like about it is the process time but you have to do something and if this fails, then the bus thing could be your final resort to escape. I am so sorry this is happening to you, as it is to me but my situation is no where as serious. No one puts their hands on me and if your brother does it to you again, please report him to the police. I wouldn't want this situation to turn into something deadly.
It's decided I'm moving out before the month is over plan is to stick around Tennessee (till I'm better able to move out of state) but maybe find some sort of place close to Nashville (Maybe Williamson County?). Yes I know it's a stupid move but sorry I'm not waiting 5, 10, or 20 years to be able to move out of my unaccepting parents so I can transition I need to do it while I'm still young.
Took a hiatus Emily daaannng. I can't see how your seeing this through a clear mind and body here. You really need to think this through being homeless isn't an answer it's just a terrible idea.
no doubt homeless is the last thing one wants to aim, no doubt. I'm not sure you could handle that, Emily.
but you can get a temporary room in Nashville, then a roommate and a job, you don't have much savings but enough to give it a try, as I'm certain you can get a job in Nashville if you are really motivated to do so, and much more opportunities in Nashville than where you live.
After PMing with you, I see to what extent your negativity can come simply all from the people you live with. You don't own your life. You can, you're intelligent. It's not normal that your parents control your life that much at age 24.
that's my opinion. Get a job in Nashville, rent a cheap hotel room at first. You can own your life.
Quote from: Raye on July 10, 2016, 05:48:06 AM
Took a hiatus Emily daaannng. I can't see how your seeing this through a clear mind and body here. You really need to think this through being homeless isn't an answer it's just a terrible idea.
Yeah I know this isn't smart to just up and leave like this but it's either that or face what horrible verbal abuse awaits me in August from my parents (my dad mainly since he'll be the actual one angry at me).
And at this point I'm no longer feeling depressed and hopeless I'm just simply scared
Oh and I need to mention (and not soliciting just to make that clear) that a great friend I made here is helping me by setting up a go fund me with hopes getting enough donations to help me have enough to rent a place long enough till I find a job and if it succeeds I should have enough for a years rent (as long as it's 400 a month and thankfully Nashville has plenty of rooms that are).
Normally I wouldn't resort to doing that but they recognized how drastic my situation is and wanted to help and I wanna take the moment here to thank them regardless of how much they get on the go fund me page.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on July 10, 2016, 07:45:46 PM
Oh and I need to mention (and not soliciting just to make that clear) that a great friend I made here is helping me by setting up a go fund me with hopes getting enough donations to help me have enough to rent a place long enough till I find a job
Oh good, very cool !!
Am hoping it works
Eh I might be a Co-Founder + current Director to the ScapeTalks Radio Team (Runescape Podcast Team), but that doesn't mean I have control over every directive the team decides to take. I suppose what I can do is advertise the GoFundMe Account on my personal YouTube Channel - AnShouji.
Money is always tight on me, but I will help anyway I possibly can!
Quote from: Raye on July 12, 2016, 09:23:43 AM
Eh I might be a Co-Founder + current Director to the ScapeTalks Radio Team (Runescape Podcast Team), but that doesn't mean I have control over every directive the team decides to take. I suppose what I can do is advertise the GoFundMe Account on my personal YouTube Channel - AnShouji.
Money is always tight on me, but I will help anyway I possibly can!
Advertising Emily's Go Fund account on Youtube is a great idea. Thank you kindly for your generous will to support the fund. :) I am going to make a Twitter later this week for now that is dedicated for this specific purpose. I don't like Twitter (or really any social media for that matter), but this fund is not for me it is for Emily. So personal opinions about Twitter to the side, I think Twitter is also an ideal platform to spread the news.
:police: You may talk about go fund me account but if you link to one or to a place that contains one, it's a violation of TOS 13 and will be removed. Repeated attempts will result in loss of privileges on the site. :police: