Found my go to beauty salon today after a lot of searching around and feeling awkward:)
Spent the afternoon looking through wigs and trying on different styles. It was quite emotional for me being the first time I've seen my self with hair in 40 years.
The staff were amazing with me, I came out feeling another box has been ticked. They are happy to help me with my transition and get me looking my best for the upcoming gender clinic appointments. I felt right at home and accepted,
so a good day for me :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
I still can't bring myself to do something like that. Keep it up and you'll leave me gasping for breath in your dust.
I did look online again for a place to inquire about electrolysis and once again I find I have only one option fairly close without going into Portland. I've even bookmarked the site, have a shortcut on my desktop to the address and phone number, and haven't called them yet. I am leery about it as I can't really find any reviews or ratings. The site has little actual information on it except the tech does it by appointment only and is board certified. No menu of services, nor any pricing info.
Again I find myself disappointed with the lack of resources available in and around Portland.
Good for you Sadie. Keep on truckin.
Hugs,
laurie
I to have an appointment this afternoon to get my first wig. I'm so excited. I hope it is as good as your experience.
Quote from: Kelly1ca on May 03, 2017, 02:18:40 PM
I to have an appointment this afternoon to get my first wig. I'm so excited. I hope it is as good as your experience.
But Kelly, I got mine the chicken's way.... mail order.
I'm excited for you too. I want my next wig to be a decent human hair one and I'll have to find a place where I can get some good advice and feedback selecting one. Hmmm, just like you are doing. Now who is leading whom?
Hugs,
Laurie
PS Sorry Kelly I didn't look at the name and assumed I was talking to Sadie.
When I first made the appointment I was a ball of nerves. The owner of the shop was very understanding and said that I wasn't her firsts person transitioning. She has also offered to give me a make over. So today I plan on making an appointment for that.
Quote from: Kelly1ca on May 03, 2017, 03:04:38 PM
When I first made the appointment I was a ball of nerves. The owner of the shop was very understanding and said that I wasn't her firsts person transitioning. She has also offered to give me a make over. So today I plan on making an appointment for that.
Kelly,
I would be too, But you did it and I hope you have a great time doing it too. And just what is this about that nasty "M" word? Such talk! You should go wash your mouth with soap.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: JeanetteLW on May 03, 2017, 01:03:12 PM
Hi Sadie,
I still can't bring myself to do something like that. Keep it up and you'll leave me gasping for breath in your dust.
I did look online again for a place to inquire about electrolysis and once again I find I have only one option fairly close without going into Portland. I've even bookmarked the site, have a shortcut on my desktop to the address and phone number, and haven't called them yet. I am leery about it as I can't really find any reviews or ratings. The site has little actual information on it except the tech does it by appointment only and is board certified. No menu of services, nor any pricing info.
Again I find myself disappointed with the lack of resources available in and around Portland.
Good for you Sadie. Keep on truckin.
Hugs,
laurie
You've been holding your own these past months Laurie, and you've certainly got a boobstart on me.
Me experience today.....'Hello, i'm Sadie do you sell wigs?'. 'Certainly, take a seat and I'll be with you in few minutes'. That was the sum total of my introduction then we got chatting about all sorts of things. Yes, women actually chat in salons, it's a world apart from the barbers where even the haircuts can beat you up.
The hard part for me was battling the squirrels that guarded the salon doors.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Kelly1ca on May 03, 2017, 03:04:38 PM
When I first made the appointment I was a ball of nerves. The owner of the shop was very understanding and said that I wasn't her firsts person transitioning. She has also offered to give me a make over. So today I plan on making an appointment for that.
Me too. I scouted out a few first by looking through the windows trying to imagine myself fitting in. I phoned one and instantly hung up. Scouted a few more and in the end found the goldilocks salon that seemed just right for me.
Have fun Kelly :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 03, 2017, 04:33:05 PM
The hard part for me was battling the squirrels that guarded the salon doors.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hey, Those guard squirrels are HUGE!!! I have a devil of a time trying to get past. One of these days I might make it.
Good Job Sadie
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 03, 2017, 11:08:41 PM
Hey, Those guard squirrels are HUGE!!! I have a devil of a time trying to get past. One of these days I might make it.
Good Job Sadie
Hugs,
Laurie
Just tell them pesky squirrels the ladies at Susan's Place sent you and if they don't let you past there will be trouble ;D
Nice to see your name in lights Laurie, it really suits you:)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
It was a great experience. I got exactly what I was looking for and made that appointment for the complete makeover. I can't wait.
Quote from: Kelly1ca on May 04, 2017, 07:35:09 AM
It was a great experience. I got exactly what I was looking for and made that appointment for the complete makeover. I can't wait.
That's wonderful news Kelly :) I was hoping it would work out for you.
Have fun with the makeover, I haven't booked mine yet as the makeup technician was on holiday, but don't tell the ladies here or they'll be on to me quicker that a squirrel on a skateboard ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 04, 2017, 11:23:44 AM
That's wonderful news Kelly :) I was hoping it would work out for you.
Have fun with the makeover, I haven't booked mine yet as the makeup technician was on holiday, but don't tell the ladies here or they'll be on to me quicker that a squirrel on a skateboard ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
You have nothing to fear from me Sadie. You know I don't use the "M" word.
Hugs,
Laurie
It's important to build upon every single success, no matter how small when it comes to transitioning. Finding a friendly and helpful salon is one victory, finding a nice wig is another. For me, this was the milestone that opened the door to RLE, I've basically been full time since I found my first wig.
You know, there are businesses which will help you out by doing a "house call", where they will meet you at your safe place and keep your privacy, while providing you options and service. Don't hesitate to ask...it could be the one act that opens the door to the rest of your life.
Quote from: Laurie on May 04, 2017, 11:30:30 AM
You have nothing to fear from me Sadie. You know I don't use the "M" word.
Hugs,
Laurie
Aw shucks Laurie, that's another 50 credits back on your "M" word report card. :)
It's been another good day for me, the wigs can't come soon enough though. The salon says they'll keep ordering in three at a time until I'm completely happy. I'm definitely going shortish, grey and practical for daily wear and maybe with something a little more stylish for special occasions and nights out. Decisions, decisions.........what's a girl to do?
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: kat69 on May 04, 2017, 11:51:43 AM
It's important to build upon every single success, no matter how small when it comes to transitioning. Finding a friendly and helpful salon is one victory, finding a nice wig is another. For me, this was the milestone that opened the door to RLE, I've basically been full time since I found my first wig.
You know, there are businesses which will help you out by doing a "house call", where they will meet you at your safe place and keep your privacy, while providing you options and service. Don't hesitate to ask...it could be the one act that opens the door to the rest of your life.
Hi Kat,
I know having hair will certainly help me present better once I get used to it, I've been relying on head wraps up until now.
I won't say i'm not worried, it's going to be a shock for the neighbours to see me with a full head of hair. They're only just getting used to the makeup and nails poor things.
Peace and love and all that good stuff
Sadie
Booked my first makeover with the new salon today. More of a teaching session really so looking forward to that.
Picked up my wig also. It's strange having hair again, it's going to take a while for me to get comfortable with it.
Feeling a bit transitioned out today so i'll wait for the morning to try and get it to sit right with my psyche. Hair is kind of a sensitive subject for me, I should be really happy but I just feel a little odd and disconnected just now. I'll get used to it.
Aslo dealing with some medical issues. Been painfully cramping in my feet and loosing all strength in my arms. Dizzy spells and loosing my balance for the past few months, and it's progressively getting worse :( Trying to not let it bother me, but the squirrels are loving it. I worry about not being able to start HRT on medical grounds, but that's just my brain running on overdrive until the bloods arrive.
Since everyone's talking about electrolysis, turns out this salon does it too, so as not to miss out on all the fun I may volunteer as a human pin cushion. Just got to work out the finances first, but it looks doable.
So that's my day really, should start one of those transitioning threads to keep it all in one place, so you girls can keep me on my toes if I start slacking ;D Sorry for sounding a bit down, didn't mean to. Just started offloading as I typed away. I'll bounce back tomorrow and I'v got a makeover and a bit of pampering to look forward to.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hey Sadie,
Congratulations on getting the wig. I'm confident you will overcome whatever issues you are having about it at the moment. Regarding you feeling a bit off and ambivalent right now, we all have those spells. reference my onwn a few days ago. These things pass too.
I am not liking this talk of dizziness, numb parts (other than the lump on your shoulders) cramping feet and pains. If you have not been in touch with your doctor I am not just recommending you do, I am telling you to do it now! These symptoms can be serious and should not be put off.
Glad you are thinking of electrolysis, we would be starting close to the same time if you hurry. They say mizzery love company so get with the program girl.
What with this "M" word everyone is bantering around? I think some ladies are obsessed with it.. Go for it too Sadie they say the experience is worth the effort. But I'm not convinced of that yet.
Hope you get over your troubles and enjoy being girly again soon.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 11, 2017, 11:13:20 AM
Hey Sadie,
Congratulations on getting the wig. I'm confident you will overcome whatever issues you are having about it at the moment. Regarding you feeling a bit off and ambivalent right now, we all have those spells. reference my onwn a few days ago. These things pass too.
I am not liking this talk of dizziness, numb parts (other than the lump on your shoulders) cramping feet and pains. If you have not been in touch with your doctor I am not just recommending you do, I am telling you to do it now! These symptoms can be serious and should not be put off.
Glad you are thinking of electrolysis, we would be starting close to the same time if you hurry. They say mizzery love company so get with the program girl.
What with this "M" word everyone is bantering around? I think some ladies are obsessed with it.. Go for it too Sadie they say the experience is worth the effort. But I'm not convinced of that yet.
Hope you get over your troubles and enjoy being girly again soon.
Hugs,
Laurie
Message received Laurie, and thanks for the concern. I already have an appointment with the doc. Won't be for a few weeks though so I might have to go emergency if things get worse. But don't worry girl, I'm on it.
Off to see the psychologist tomorrow, with all that brain shrinking i'm worried if my new wig will still fit afterwards;)
I shall wear furby to the appointment though, which may raise a few eyebrows from the natives. Speaking of eyebrows I had mine threaded and waxed today, just a top up.
I've had a few drugstore makeovers before, but this is the first proper salon one. I'm really looking forward to it :)
Electrolysis shall hence forth be known as the "E" word. So if "E" comes before "M" I guess you got things in the right order Laurie :) However, that doesn't mean you can wiggle out of "M"! Because "E" does not trump "M" or act as a "get out of makeover free" card, these are the rules.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie,
OMG More rules?! lol I'm not sure I understand all of them in reference to that "M" word. I think you need to concentrate on that "E" word myself.... FYI Eyebrow shaping is also on the list. *sigh* Threading is what I have in mind.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 11, 2017, 01:57:11 PM
Sadie,
OMG More rules?! lol I'm not sure I understand all of them in reference to that "M" word. I think you need to concentrate on that "E" word myself.... FYI Eyebrow shaping is also on the list. *sigh* Threading is what I have in mind.
Hugs,
Laurie
Threading is O.K. I wish I'd had them plucked and shaped more professionally though. I think its worth the extra over generic shopping mall threading where everyone comes out with the same eyebrows.
Just a question has HRT softened your brows down a little? Mine are really course so I have to wear them quite thin.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie,
Answer: No I do not think HRT has affected my brows at all.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thanks Laurie :)
Spent the whole day out and about with new wig. So I guess I'm full time now. Nobody looked twice, in fact I forgot I was wearing it and just got on with my day.
Saw my therapist earlier today, I've almost got a clean slate to go and get on with my life. The depression and anxiety I've suffered with for years is slowly lifting. Still have bad days but on the whole way more happy and feeling a little more positive about the future. She thought I looked really confident and natural with my new hair, and was full of complements. So yeh, I'll take that as a good sign :)
Had a good chat with my sister last night about my future plans. She's fully on board with my transitioning. We don't see each other that often, but it's nice just to chat and be open. My niece also emailed me asking how she should address me from now on. Kids of today are really clued in about trans issues, as in like it's not an issue. It really gave me a boost.
So that's my day, lots of positive and little negative other than a slight headache from wearing a wig all day. I'm sure it will wear in just fine, any looser and I'd worry about it slipping. I'll get used to it ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 12, 2017, 09:48:23 AM
Thanks Laurie :)
Spent the whole day out and about with new wig. So I guess I'm full time now. Nobody looked twice, in fact I forgot I was wearing it and just got on with my day.
Saw my therapist earlier today, I've almost got a clean slate to go and get on with my life. The depression and anxiety I've suffered with for years is slowly lifting. Still have bad days but on the whole way more happy and feeling a little more positive about the future. She thought I looked really confident and natural with my new hair, and was full of complements. So yeh, I'll take that as a good sign :)
Had a good chat with my sister last night about my future plans. She's fully on board with my transitioning. We don't see each other that often, but it's nice just to chat and be open. My niece also emailed me asking how she should address me from now on. Kids of today are really clued in about trans issues, as in like it's not an issue. It really gave me a boost.
So that's my day, lots of positive and little negative other than a slight headache from wearing a wig all day. I'm sure it will wear in just fine, any looser and I'd worry about it slipping. I'll get used to it ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hey Sadie,
I am happy that you are adapting with your new hair and the day was positive. Full time huh? Coooool I'm getting closer to it myself I think but then again it may be awhile.
Regarding the wig headache and slippage.. bobbie pins. If you have enough of your own hair some strategic use of bobbie pins will secure things nicely. That is what I am working on doing by growing what little hair I have out. It can really help keep the store bought hair in place.
I agree it is really nice to be able to talk openly with people that you've come out to. I've mentioned "girl talk" with my sister and apartment manager before. I can add my nephew's wife to that list now. She was told about me before but this morning she came over to spend the day with us. I did not let her stop me from being myself so she saw the real me today for the first time. We talked about my transition a bit before I cooked her and I some breakfast. Conversation was as normal as can be without any awkwardness at all.
Glad you had a good day and hope today is just as good.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 12, 2017, 10:24:42 AM
Hey Sadie,
I am happy that you are adapting with your new hair and the day was positive. Full time huh? Coooool I'm getting closer to it myself I think but then again it may be awhile.
Regarding the wig headache and slippage.. bobbie pins. If you have enough of your own hair some strategic use of bobbie pins will secure things nicely. That is what I am working on doing by growing what little hair I have out. It can really help keep the store bought hair in place.
I agree it is really nice to be able to talk openly with people that you've come out to. I've mentioned "girl talk" with my sister and apartment manager before. I can add my nephew's wife to that list now. She was told about me before but this morning she came over to spend the day with us. I did not let her stop me from being myself so she saw the real me today for the first time. We talked about my transition a bit before I cooked her and I some breakfast. Conversation was as normal as can be without any awkwardness at all.
Glad you had a good day and hope today is just as good.
Hugs,
Laurie
Yeh, full time. Not really sure how I got here, just creeped up on me all of a sudden and the wig just sealed the deal.
I never felt truly myself with just a head wrap, it's made a big difference. Thanks for the tips.
Great news about about your nephews wife :icon_joy: and even better news that you are more comfortable letting people see the real you :) It's been a crazy time hasn't it :o
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 12, 2017, 01:05:45 PM
Yeh, full time. Not really sure how I got here, just creeped up on me all of a sudden and the wig just sealed the deal.
I never felt truly myself with just a head wrap, it's made a big difference. Thanks for the tips.
Great news about about your nephews wife :icon_joy: and even better news that you are more comfortable letting people see the real you :) It's been a crazy time hasn't it :o
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie
You'll get no argument from me about it being a wild and crazy time. When I came out to my daughter I envisioned the process taking a lot more time than it has to come out to those I have and to begin feeling more comfortable in my own skin with being seen. I only feel a need to tell a few more personally and two more of those should get done this weekend. As for starting full time I don't think it will happen anytime soon but with each coming out and each public foray I feel more at ease with it.
Like you with your wig being the catalyst for you going full time. I may be in for a surprise with my own. Who knows? Everything is moving so fast that I sometimes feel like hitting the brakes so my mind can catch up. Squirrels again, pesky squirrels. Just a couple at the moment lurking in the shadows, but I can hear them chittering. lol
You go girl, keep on truckin!
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Shy on May 12, 2017, 09:48:23 AM
So that's my day, lots of positive and little negative other than a slight headache from wearing a wig all day. I'm sure it will wear in just fine, any looser and I'd worry about it slipping. I'll get used to it ;D
Sadie, I had that when I first started wearing. It turns out that I had the front of the wig just a little too low on the forehead. The band was compressing a blood vessel (from the supraorbital artery) and reducing blood flow into the scalp. Instant 'tension headache'!
Try moving the front of the wig a half inch higher.
Wearing a lace-front wig, with no elastic band across the forehead, may also be more comfortable. They certainly are for me!
With the lace-front in particular, but really with any wig worn for a while, a little 'wig tape', medical double sided tape, can do wonders. I use Vapon LaceFX "A Curve" strips cut in half lengthwise along the front of my wigs, and they definitely stay put. I have had pretty good luck splitting the strips both lenghtwise and in half, that is, into long thin quarters. That gives me 100 little strips from a single 25 strip box. I clean the attachment point on my forehead with a little rubbing alcohol, let it dry, place the tape, then position the wig so the lace front or band is on the strip. When I am happy with the position I press the wig front into the tape, and I am set for the day.
I also buy wig caps in bags/boxes of a hundred, much cheaper than the package of three wig shops sell. A cap under the wig can be changed or washed every day, reducing the transfer of oils to the wig and letting you go longer between washes. (Washing the wig strips coating films from the hairs, potentially reducing the wigs life.)
Anywho, just some tips from a full-time wig wearer...
Quote from: Laurie on May 12, 2017, 11:51:46 PM
Sadie
You'll get no argument from me about it being a wild and crazy time. When I came out to my daughter I envisioned the process taking a lot more time than it has to come out to those I have and to begin feeling more comfortable in my own skin with being seen. I only feel a need to tell a few more personally and two more of those should get done this weekend. As for starting full time I don't think it will happen anytime soon but with each coming out and each public foray I feel more at ease with it.
Like you with your wig being the catalyst for you going full time. I may be in for a surprise with my own. Who knows? Everything is moving so fast that I sometimes feel like hitting the brakes so my mind can catch up. Squirrels again, pesky squirrels. Just a couple at the moment lurking in the shadows, but I can hear then chettering. lol
You go girl, keep on truckin!
Hugs,
Laurie
Good luck crossing off the list of people to tell, hope it all goes well for you. I know it's always a worry, but there you go again getting done what needs to be done and taking care of business.
I've only ever known you as Laurie, a wonderful, open, helpful, caring woman. Seems pretty full time to me:)
Off to the local TG group tonight for a chinwag and tea. I'm still not fully socialised yet, being a virtual recluse for the past gawd knows how long, so I shall brush up my social skills on them, poor things.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Michelle_P on May 13, 2017, 12:07:20 AM
Sadie, I had that when I first started wearing. It turns out that I had the front of the wig just a little too low on the forehead. The band was compressing a blood vessel (from the supraorbital artery) and reducing blood flow into the scalp. Instant 'tension headache'!
Try moving the front of the wig a half inch higher.
Wearing a lace-front wig, with no elastic band across the forehead, may also be more comfortable. They certainly are for me!
With the lace-front in particular, but really with any wig worn for a while, a little 'wig tape', medical double sided tape, can do wonders. I use Vapon LaceFX "A Curve" strips cut in half lengthwise along the front of my wigs, and they definitely stay put. I have had pretty good luck splitting the strips both lenghtwise and in half, that is, into long thin quarters. That gives me 100 little strips from a single 25 strip box. I clean the attachment point on my forehead with a little rubbing alcohol, let it dry, place the tape, then position the wig so the lace front or band is on the strip. When I am happy with the position I press the wig front into the tape, and I am set for the day.
I also buy wig caps in bags/boxes of a hundred, much cheaper than the package of three wig shops sell. A cap under the wig can be changed or washed every day, reducing the transfer of oils to the wig and letting you go longer between washes. (Washing the wig strips coating films from the hairs, potentially reducing the wigs life.)
Anywho, just some tips from a full-time wig wearer...
Thanks Michelle, that really was very helpful :) I thought of you yesterday as I was walking about town wondering how does Michelle stay all day in a wig without getting headaches? Now I know ;D
See girl all the little posts you make about your progress and experiences filter through. Thanks for the tips and for sharing your journey with us all. It's helped me a lot :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well it's been a strange first full time week most of it looking for a new washing machine and having it fitted.
The wig has stayed on the whole time form the moment I get up to the moment I crash, so me and Furby are getting along just fine. Seems odd to see myself without it on now.
I'm sure some of the neighbours must have seen my new addition, so I expect the jungle drums to start beating any time soon. I was kind of hoping I'd have been stopped by now but nobody seems to give a hoot or are just too polite to say anything.
Got gendered correctly a few times which was nice :) Even though I no way pass people seem to see to accept me for who I am. All off a sudden ladies have started chatting with me whilst standing in queues, which is awkward for me without any voice training, so I just nod and smile in the right places whilst they chatter away.
Mission makeover was successfully completed today. Learned a few things and it was nice just to be pampered. We discussed electrolysis and I'm now booked in for next week. See what you girls have done, getting me all signed up for follicle forays and shenanigans.
Next week is full of doctors appointments and blood tests, still cramping on a daily basis so hopefully I'll find out what the problem is. But other than that, happy :) happy :) happy :) By the time my slot comes up for the gender clinic I'll be fully socially transitioned, just got a few more stubborn squirrels to deal with and I'l be sorted.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie.
Sadie
WOW!!!! What a difference in the way you look! Really! I would not have known that it was you if the post didn't have your user name above the picture. And I can see why someone would gender you correctly. You didn't substitute some cis- woman's picture in place of your did you? You are looking good Sadie.
New washing machine huh? That doesn't sound fun and reminds me I need to do a load or two again.
So you are hanging out in the salon's now are you? omg what is going on? Have you become infected with something that keeps you coming back? My gosh you even used that "M" word. *sigh*
Electrolysis next week for you? Well my dear, today is my day. In fact I better go slather my face with goo as the appointment is an hour from now. *sigh* Oh bother!
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 18, 2017, 12:05:07 PM
Sadie
WOW!!!! What a difference in the way you look! Really! I would not have known that it was you if the post didn't have your user name above the picture. And I can see why someone would gender you correctly. You didn't substitute some cis- woman's picture in place of your did you? You are looking good Sadie.
New washing machine huh? That doesn't sound fun and reminds me I need to do a load or two again.
So you are hanging out in the salon's now are you? omg what is going on? Have you become infected with something that keeps you coming back? My gosh you even used that "M" word. *sigh*
Electrolysis next week for you? Well my dear, today is my day. In fact I better go slather my face with goo as the appointment is an hour from now. *sigh* Oh bother!
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you for the kind words Laurie, no stunt double here, it's all little ol' me ;D
What kind of sorcery is this goo ye speak of? Seriously girl I want details, lots of gory details when you get back from your follicle Zzzzapping. Maybe some Frank Zappa on the Mp3 player will be the appropriate choice for some headphone sedation during your initiation :icon_headfones:
Good luck girl,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 18, 2017, 01:24:19 PM
Thank you for the kind words Laurie, no stunt double here, it's all little ol' me ;D
What kind of sorcery is this goo ye speak of? Seriously girl I want details, lots of gory details when you get back from your follicle Zzzzapping. Maybe some Frank Zappa on the Mp3 player will be the appropriate choice for some headphone sedation during your initiation :icon_headfones:
Good luck girl,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi again Sadie,
Okay since you asked here is what advice I gathered from the good folks here and the electrologist.
1. Make a fuzzy face - 2 - 3 days growth before facial torture (gotta give em something to yank out)
2. Drown yourself - Drink lots of water the day before and day of your session.
3. Prepare for torture - Take a non aspirin pain reliever about 1 hour before.
4. Apply goo - Slather face liberally (not enough apply more) with either EMLA cream or 4% Lidocaine cream
Aspercreme, store brand or some other brand 1 hour before and leave on.
5. Make yourself look silly - Cover area with saran wrap to prevent drying out.
6. Show your silly fuzzy saran wrapped face to the world - Go to your face torture appointment.
&. Commence torture and enjoy - just get it over with, already.
There I hope that helps.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 18, 2017, 04:04:55 PM
Hi again Sadie,
Okay since you asked here is what advice I gathered from the good folks here and the electrologist.
1. Make a fuzzy face - 2 - 3 days growth before facial torture (gotta give em something to yank out)
2. Drown yourself - Drink lots of water the day before and day of your session.
3. Prepare for torture - Take a non aspirin pain reliever about 1 hour before.
4. Apply goo - Slather face liberally (not enough apply more) with either EMLA cream or 4% Lidocaine cream
Aspercreme, store brand or some other brand 1 hour before and leave on.
5. Make yourself look silly - Cover area with saran wrap to prevent drying out.
6. Show your silly fuzzy saran wrapped face to the world - Go to your face torture appointment.
&. Commence torture and enjoy - just get it over with, already.
There I hope that helps.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thanks for the tips Laurie :)
Geez, I only shaved off the beard six months ago and now I have to grow out stubble again, yuck.
Get it over I will, it's going to take a while though on my budget though, so i'm going to pack sandwiches and make a few years of it ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Felt really comfortable today, and 100% pass rate in town :) I know now that things are going to be o.k. I can live out the rest of my life the way it should be.
Makeup is coming along well after my little lesson and I've even calmed enough to get my eyeliner on straight without making an eyeball kebab.
Managed to find two good quality tiger eye necklaces in a charity shop that i'm really pleased with. Still hunting for my clothes style, finding things to fit is a real challenge being 6ft and skinny. Managed to get some boots today though, so all in all a good day.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 20, 2017, 09:27:15 AM
Felt really comfortable today, and 100% pass rate in town :) I know now that things are going to be o.k. I can live out the rest of my life the way it should be.
Makeup is coming along well after my little lesson and I've even calmed enough to get my eyeliner on straight without making an eyeball kebab.
Managed to find two good quality tiger eye necklaces in a charity shop that i'm really pleased with. Still hunting for my clothes style, finding things to fit is a real challenge being 6ft and skinny. Managed to get some boots today though, so all in all a good day.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Morning Sadie,
Of course you passed 100%. Didn't I say you looks all woman since you got your hair? Didn't I accuse you of posting a picture of a cis woman as your avatar? Shheeeesh would I lie? Glad you are getting comfortable in your own skin while in the public eye. That is at least half the battle.
I'm also glad you are putting on eyeliner without impaling your eyeball on the applicator, it works so much better that way and can look nicer too. Besides eyeliner stings when you apply it in the wrong place. (I guess you could be into that sort of thing though...)
Oh by the way I forgot one more do/don't do for facial torture.... NO COFFEE! before the session as it stimulates the nerves and you'll feel the sting more. O know it can be hard on those of use who start our days with a couple of cups o'java but it's your choice. For me it was greatly missed. I can even have my black coffee before my various lab tests I have done regularly as I drink it unadulterated, ie black.
Hugs,
Laurie
Aw thanks Laurie :)
Still got to work on my voice though, at the moment it's a case of smiling, nodding and hoping someone doesn't ask me a question. It's like you get over one hill and there's a bigger one on the horizon.
I can't go anywhere near coffee, it makes me run around like a mad puppy for 30mins and then go pee in a corner when I get over excited ;D I like liquorice tea in the morning, but thanks for the advice. I've decided to go to my first appointment goo free and see how I feel. It's only 30mins, I'm sure I could manage that.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well this isn't nice at all, not one bit :( Two days without shaving in prep for electrolysis and I don't like it, no I don't, not even a smidgeon, not even if someone payed me to do it! Talk about conflicted. It's like being tarred and feathered and forced to parade about in man clothes whilst everyone stares at me. It's all very confusing and did I say I really don't like having this fuzz on my face! Just incase I didn't, I don't! and with three sad emoticons to back it up :( :( :(
There, now that's off my chest I'm going to put some dark glasses on and hope nobody recognises me before I sneak back home.
It's for the best though, but squirrels are running rampant today. Time to call Wiley Coyote me thinks, and see if he's got any advice on A.C.M.E. squirrel traps. You know the ones that involve a large bolder precariously perched on the edge of a crumbling cliff and possibly a trampoline and rocket skates ;D
Roll on Wednesday where some lady is going to poke electrodes in my face. Yay transgender, and they say we choose to be like this? Bah, piffle and hogwash I say.
Peace and love and a bit grumpy today,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 22, 2017, 02:47:43 AM
Well this isn't nice at all, not one bit :( Two days without shaving in prep for electrolysis and I don't like it, no I don't, not even a smidgeon, not even if someone payed me to do it! Talk about conflicted. It's like being tarred and feathered and forced to parade about in man clothes whilst everyone stares at me. It's all very confusing and did I say I really don't like having this fuzz on my face! Just incase I didn't, I don't! and with three sad emoticons to back it up :( :( :(
There, now that's off my chest I'm going to put some dark glasses on and hope nobody recognises me before I sneak back home.
It's for the best though, but squirrels are running rampant today. Time to call Wiley Coyote me thinks, and see if he's got any advice on A.C.M.E. squirrel traps. You know the ones that involve a large bolder precariously perched on the edge of a crumbling cliff and possibly a trampoline and rocket skates ;D
Roll on Wednesday where some lady is going to poke electrodes in my face. Yay transgender, and they say we choose to be like this? Bah, piffle and hogwash I say.
Peace and love and a bit grumpy today,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
Come on now girl. Such a fit, I swear. it's only a couple of days. Come on put your big girl panties on and suck it up. If it's really that bad pick one spot (like your right cheek from your moth toward your ear about 2" square). and shave everywhere else. If you call the lady that will be working on you and ask she should be able to tell you that will be okay. Gheeeze Sadie make a little call and you'll be okay in no time and the crisis will be over and you can banish the sad faces. Them squirrels will get you going EVERYTIME if you listen to them. You know that.
Now get ta busy and solve your little problem and stop throwing a hissy fit.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thanks Laurie,
Hissy fit over ;D ;D ;D
It's just that I've only been full time for a few weeks and here I am having to hide away again. I mean foundation and face fuzz is not a good look. It felt horrible, but I know needs must and I'm doing the right thing with the electrolysis.
Now since we're on the subject of 'hissy fits' wasn't there some unresolved issues surround the 'M' word that need addressing. :P I notice the absence of a check mark next to someone's name filed under 'L' ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Morning Sadie,
Hey girl, I can't begin to imagine what you might be referring to with this cryptic "M" word talk. By any chance have you tried discussing it with your therapist? Not the gender one.... the "other" one. You can also discuss this irrational distaste of fuzz. There are lots of nice or cute fuzzy things. Like fuzzy dice or Fuzzy Bear.. oh wait wasn't that Fonsy Bear? sorry
Anyway I did offer you a solution to try or perhaps you can use one of those scarves you used to use on your head and pretend you are a bank robber or something. Wouldn't that be fun? All I can do is offer you solutions. I can't make you try them. Sheesh do I have to do everything?
You'll be fine Sadie, trust me....
Hugs,
Laurie
Just back from the docs about the muscle spasms i've been getting, he thinks it may be something to do with my thyroid gland and have blood tests booked for Thursday. Told him from now on I'd like to be addressed a Sadie within the surgery of which he was more than happy to do. I've got a good doc. I owe him my life really.
Off for electrolysis tomorrow. Going old school, no 'namby pamby' goo stuff and wrapping my self up like a prize turkey.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 23, 2017, 06:01:00 AM
Just back from the docs about the muscle spasms i've been getting, he thinks it may be something to do with my thyroid gland and have blood tests booked for Thursday. Told him from now on I'd like to be addressed a Sadie within the surgery of which he was more than happy to do. I've got a good doc. I owe him my life really.
Off for electrolysis tomorrow. Going old school, no 'namby pamby' goo stuff and wrapping my self up like a prize turkey.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
Good for you regarding asking your doctor to use your name. I found it a bit strange(yet pleasant too) hearing my therapist refer to me as Laurie during my last visit. It was still strange to read his report in my medical record last night because he gendered me as she and her throughout the report. My GP also kept reminding me that I was becoming a woman and that it was what I wanted to be as we discussed my HRT and other transition concerns. I guess I am still having difficulties accepting myself. Why else would these things seem strange? *sigh*
Go ahead and John Wayne it tomorrow, Sadie. You will certainly find out how it stings. (over and over and over again) I'm sure you can tolerate it unless you do have a low threshold to pain as some do. But I think you will find after awhile that you may want to try some numbing eventually.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 23, 2017, 12:54:38 PM
Hi Sadie,
Good for you regarding asking your doctor to use your name. I found it a bit strange(yet pleasant too) hearing my therapist refer to me as Laurie during my last visit. It was still strange to read his report in my medical record last night because he gendered me as she and her throughout the report. My GP also kept reminding me that I was becoming a woman and that it was what I wanted to be as we discussed my HRT and other transition concerns. I guess I am still having difficulties accepting myself. Why else would these things seem strange? *sigh*
Go ahead a John Wayne it tomorrow, Sadie. You will certainly find out how it stings. (over and over and over again) I'm sure you can tolerate it unless you do have a low threshold to pain as some do. But I think you will find after awhile that you may want to try some numbing eventually.
Hugs,
Laurie
It's Jane Wayne thank you very much ;) I just know I'm gonna get a "told you so" lecture tomorrow and I'll totally deserve it for watching too many funny cat videos on youtube instead of doing Laurie's homework assignment (of which the dog ate of course) ;D I mean see what I have to contend with.............It's just so distracting!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haRUlA2kSM4
I also get these odd accepting myself moments, every time someone calls me "madam" I have this urge to look over my shoulder to see if there's a lady standing behind me. But no, it's me, just not used to being gendered correctly. Not that I'm complaining one little bit, but it does take a bit of getting used to. You're doing just fine Laurie.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well I'm back from sticking my head into a nest of bees and paying for the pleasure ;D
Seriously the electrolysis was fine, had half of my moustache cleared from underneath my nose downwards.
The hard part for me, and there always seems to be a hard part, was letting go of my beard that I'd hidden behind for forty years and all the memories attached to it.
It's the first permanent physical step I've taken towards transition, so it was a flag in the sand for me. Feeling o.k. now though, albeit a little sore and tired. Time for some dinner and a nice cup of tea :)
Thanks Laurie for helping me out, you're a star :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 24, 2017, 07:12:16 AM
Well I'm back from sticking my head into a nest of bees and paying for the pleasure ;D
Seriously the electrolysis was fine, had half of my moustache cleared from underneath my nose downwards.
The hard part for me, and there always seems to be a hard part, was letting go of my beard that I'd hidden behind for forty years and all the memories attached to it.
It's the first permanent physical step I've taken towards transition, so it was a flag in the sand for me. Feeling o.k. now though, albeit a little sore and tired. Time for some dinner and a nice cup of tea :)
Thanks Laurie for helping me out, you're a star :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Morning Sadie,
Now you listen here, Lady, I had nothing to do with you cutting your hairy crutch off or you sticking your head inside that beehive. You did that all by yourself! I did however try to get you to minimize the stinging though. But did you listen to me? Noooooo you didn't! Neither would you call to inquire how much of an area she would need to work on so you could shave everywhere else and not feel so weird about having a fuzzy face for days on end.
But hey Sadie I know exactly how you feel about this being a permanent physical step in your transition. It is like drawing that line in the sand and stepping over it. For me it was the second since I have let these bumps growing on my chest. You call it a flag in the sand and I, being a more pragmatic individual, call them irreversible changes. The hair when done will not grow back, you can't untell those you've come out to, and no one is removing my breasts!
Irreversible changes! Whether physical or not they are changes we'll be living with from here on out, we best not be wrong in our choices.
Hey lady, I be proud of you kicking your transition program into gear lately with your new hair, manicure, facial torture and (hmmm I could swear there was something else) oh well, never mind, proud of all you've been doing to forge ahead. ((Hugs)) And don't you go blaming any of it on me, it was all your doing.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 24, 2017, 09:11:59 AM
Morning Sadie,
Now you listen here, Lady, I had nothing to do with you cutting your hairy crutch off or you sticking your head inside that beehive. You did that all by yourself! I did however try to get you to minimize the stinging though. But did you listen to me? Noooooo you didn't! Neither would you call to inquirre how much on an area she would need to work on so you could shave everywhere else and not feel so weird about having a fuzzy face for days on end.
But hey Sadie I know exactly how you feel about this being a permanent physical step in your transition. It is like drawing that line in the sand and stepping over it. For me it was the second since I have let these bumps grow on my chest. You call it a flag in the sand and I, being a more pragmatic individual call them irreversible changes. The hair when done will not grow back, you can't untell those you've come out to, and No one is removing my breasts!
Irreversible changes! Whether physical or not they are change we'll be living with from here on out we best not be wrong in our choices.
Hey lady, I be proud of you kicking your transition program into gear lately with your new hair, manicure, facial torture and (hmmm I could swear there was something else) oh well, never mind, proud of all you've been doing to forge ahead. ((Hugs)) And you you go blaming any of it on me, it was all your doing.
Hugs,
Laurie
No, you're right Laurie it was all me. Hair, nails, eyebrows, electrocution, MaKeOvEr. It was all me, and I wouldn't change it for the world, oh thats right I can't now even if I wanted to.
The redness has settled now and I can already see a difference, it's a big relief really. I just want the damn thing gone now so I can put that chapter behind me. Only another 60 or so hrs to go. Hope they don't run out of bees ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
It is much easier than you think----I was so "cautious" about what people might thing earlier in life---but the truth is I have found Wonderful people to help with salon and wigs--- Believer me when I tell you I bought several wigs that were "not really right" for me, before I got to a salon that corrected the problem---It took less than 1 hour, and I looked so natural it was scary---and enough different that no one would have connect the woman to me!
I look for a salon with gay people cutting hair----they have also suffered with their being different and most are highly helpful---Julie
Hi Julie,
I'm Laurie and that other nut is Sadie. We, as you can probably tell are pretty much newbies here learning the ropes of a new world for us with a little help from our friends. I hope you plan on being one of them.
When I saw your name and low post number I did some snooping and see that you are a returning lost soul. It looks like it's been about five years of wandering out in the wide world doing who knows what. Well girl, Welcome back ..... ((( Hug ))).... Ooops, sorry I do that. part of my self appointed unofficial greeter duties. Come in, oh come now , come in and sit down already. You've been away so long I ought to ask you to hop over to the introductions forum and tell us a bit about yourself. But I won't. I have probably already embarrassed you enough, so I will just say welcome back again and let you be.
Hugs,
Laurie
Well it's been a wobbly week for me, so I guess I'll post the rough with the smooth.
I haven't been able to present properly for just over a week now with all the electrolysis issues I had. Still very scabby and red. It really has effected my mojo and plans for this weekend.
Had my blood tests done for the very painful cramping issues I've been getting, so will find out next week if it's anything sinister or not.
Off to meet some of the extended family tomorrow for a meal, so looking forward to that. They all know I'm trans now so it will be interesting to see how the response to me in person.
I'm going to take some time next week to regroup and ground myself again. Will probably visit the gender clinic next month to talk things over with one of the volunteers. It's about the only support I have right now, apart from you wonderful folk, still got at least a year for my official slot to come up. I don't mind though, the NHS is under so much pressure just now with one thing or another.
I've been looking up some pottery classes for my RLE. I'd like to see how Sadie gets on mixing with a group outside of the trans world. Who knows I might make some new friends.
I'm also putting the feelers out for some volunteer or charity work. Just not sure where my skill set could be put to it's best use.
So that's it for now, a bit of a mixed bag really. But starting to feel a bit better now my heads stopped spinning.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
It's make me sad that you had a less that good electrocution experience as opposed to mine. My 2 hour session yesterday wasn't a picnic by any means but once again the redness lasted only a couple hours with no leakage after she rolled the area with he rolling tool and witch hazel (very soothing) and finished with a nice smelling moisterizer. Last night I shave all the prickly nasties off my face and this morning I can see a few small bumps in the area she worked on my there is no discomfort. She even used a higher setting at my urging since I was doing well with the stinging. It got more intense towards the end when she was working on the mustache area but I got through it. It almost brought tears to my eyes but not quite.
Sometimes it is necessary to step back and reflect on what we do and regroup. I understand this and hope you will continue to keep us informed as to how you are doing. I like the idea of you getting out in a group setting and possibly getting involved in the community. It just could be rewarding and fulfilling for you.
Don't be a stranger, y'hear?
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you Laurie,
I have no intention of going anywhere, just need to return to head quarters for a briefing and some new instructions. Operation "M" is still very much alive, agent p as joined the ranks now and needs training up. So just incase you thought slipped the net like some kind of slippery super villain, you haven't ;D
Glad you got though your 2 hour session o.k. Mine is slowly starting to settle down now, still got a large scab directly under my nose. I've gone through a whole packet of witch hazel and tea tree wipes, but today the foundation goes back on for my meal with my extended family. Must shoot now, need to spend 2hours wondering what I'm going to wear. ;)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 28, 2017, 05:17:29 AM
Well it's been a wobbly week for me, so I guess I'll post the rough with the smooth.
I haven't been able to present properly for just over a week now with all the electrolysis issues I had. Still very scabby and red. It really has effected my mojo and plans for this weekend.
Had my blood tests done for the very painful cramping issues I've been getting, so will find out next week if it's anything sinister or not.
Off to meet some of the extended family tomorrow for a meal, so looking forward to that. They all know I'm trans now so it will be interesting to see how the response to me in person.
I'm going to take some time next week to regroup and ground myself again. Will probably visit the gender clinic next month to talk things over with one of the volunteers. It's about the only support I have right now, apart from you wonderful folk, still got at least a year for my official slot to come up. I don't mind though, the NHS is under so much pressure just now with one thing or another.
I've been looking up some pottery classes for my RLE. I'd like to see how Sadie gets on mixing with a group outside of the trans world. Who knows I might make some new friends.
I'm also putting the feelers out for some volunteer or charity work. Just not sure where my skill set could be put to it's best use.
So that's it for now, a bit of a mixed bag really. But starting to feel a bit better now my heads stopped spinning.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
So here you two are, off over here gossiping in the corner...was that the word
MAKEOVER I hear coming from the corner. Come on you two bring me up to speed I am always on for a good makeover Party just ask Laurie...I have started sending her subliminal messages.....hehehe ::) ::) ::)
Glad you made it through your electrocution appointment...they are such fun aren't they. How did you go at the family thing? good time had by all? I really don't understand why more people don't do it... sharp objects being stuck into your face and then flash heated enough to essentially turn a perfectly good hair follicle into a slurry of nutrients we call lye...ahh the fun of it all.
How are you feeling ...the cramping and stuff all stopped and feeling better?
Quote from: Shy on May 29, 2017, 05:25:28 AM
Thank you Laurie,
I have no intention of going anywhere, just need to return to head quarters for a briefing and some new instructions. Operation "M" is still very much alive, agent p as joined the ranks now and needs training up. So just incase you thought slipped the net like some kind of slippery super villain, you haven't ;D
Glad you got though your 2 hour session o.k. Mine is slowly starting to settle down now, still got a large scab directly under my nose. I've gone through a whole packet of witch hazel and tea tree wipes, but today the foundation goes back on for my meal with my extended family. Must shoot now, need to spend 2hours wondering what I'm going to wear. ;)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Morning Sadie,
*sigh* I guess you need a reminder of your own words to explain my comments....
"I'm going to take some time next week to regroup and ground myself again. "
"I've been looking up some pottery classes for my RLE. I'd like to see how Sadie gets on mixing with a group outside of the trans world."
"I'm also putting the feelers out for some volunteer or charity work."
That certainly sounds like you will be spending more time elsewhere to me. That's why I said I hope you will keep us informed of what your up to and how it's going. I am hopeful you won't forget about us here in the virtual world.
Are you sure 2 hours is enough? I hope all goes well with your family.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: ElizabethK on May 29, 2017, 05:39:18 AM
So here you two are, off over here gossiping in the corner...was that the word MAKEOVER I hear coming from the corner. Come on you two bring me up to speed I am always on for a good makeover Party just ask Laurie...I have started sending her subliminal messages.....hehehe ::) ::) ::)
Glad you made it through your electrocution appointment...they are such fun aren't they. How did you go at the family thing? good time had by all? I really don't understand why more people don't do it... sharp objects being stuck into your face and then flash heated enough to essentially turn a perfectly good hair follicle into a slurry of nutrients we call lye...ahh the fun of it all.
How are you feeling ...the cramping and stuff all stopped and feeling better?
Hi Liz,
Yes, it's just the place I dump my weekly progress. Should have started another thread with a more appropriate title really. But anywho nice to here from you :)
Laurie's been keeping me company in her own welcoming way, as long a I don't mention the "M" word that is, which tends to send her into a tizzy ;D
The meal went well :) It was a family gathering so I didn't really push the trans thing. Dressed in some leggings, a nice top with Doves on it, sandals and a little shell neckless. Just enough makeup to feminise my features a little, obvious, but not too heavy.
My nice asked my how I'd like to be addressed which was nice. Uncle just didn't seem appropriate to her anymore.
I get the results to my blood tests later this week. I've had no muscle spasms for the past few days :) I pretty much end up contorted into all sorts of painful positions on my entire right side, not nice at all. Living on my own it can be a bit scary but I'm sort of getting used to it now.
Hope you're feeling better after your trip, seemed like quite an adventure. Good luck with the lye harvest. I wonder if we can bottle it and sell it on eBay or to medical science ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hope you are feeling better after your
Quote from: Laurie on May 29, 2017, 09:37:12 AM
Morning Sadie,
*sigh* I guess you need a reminder of your own words to explain my comments....
"I'm going to take some time next week to regroup and ground myself again. "
"I've been looking up some pottery classes for my RLE. I'd like to see how Sadie gets on mixing with a group outside of the trans world."
"I'm also putting the feelers out for some volunteer or charity work."
That certainly sounds like you will be spending more time elsewhere to me. That's why I said I hope you will keep us informed of what your up to and how it's going. I am hopeful you won't forget about us here in the virtual world.
Are you sure 2 hours is enough? I hope all goes well with your family.
Hugs,
Laurie
Nope you don't get rid of me that easily Laurie. I can do all this stuff and still find time to work on "Project Laurie MAKEOVER";D I'm really good at multitasking 8)
Like the new avatar, very natural and relaxed. Seriously girl you're looking great!
Meal was good. Seared tuna, grilled halloumi, roasted sweet potatoes and a mozzarella and pea shoot salad. Yum. For pud ginger ice cream between wafers and dipped in chocolate and nuts. Double yum.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 29, 2017, 05:04:53 PM
Nope you don't get rid of me that easily Laurie. I can do all this stuff and still find time to work on "Project Laurie MAKEOVER";D I'm really good at multitasking 8)
Like the new avatar, very natural and relaxed. Seriously girl you're looking great!
Meal was good. Seared tuna, grilled halloumi, roasted sweet potatoes and a mozzarella and pea shoot salad. Yum. For pud ginger ice cream between wafers and dipped in chocolate and nuts. Double yum.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
Well Dagnabbit you can't blame a girl from trying. It sounded really hopeful. But I guess it was just more wishful thinking. Here I thought you were finally break the chains and get on with life. (muttering under the breath, "and give me a break")
Thank you for the compliment. amazing what a bit of makeup and a nice looking top can do for an old crone, isn't it? lol Actually I liked the look except for the brows. My brows need professional help. (or a stencil)
Did you see what that sneaky Liz did? Huh? Huh? Subliminal messages my eyeball. It was just those hurtful naughty words over and over again. I had to zoom the browser to read all that tiny print! I mean the nerve of the woman! The Nerve! And Cindy pops in everyso often with her cajoling. And Moni, yeah well we all kow about the moody Moni, here lately you could almost think she was cis and having her ummm . yeah well you know what I was getting at. And then there is YOU! You and your silly campaign . Project something or other and you've even corrupt sweet innocent p. You should be ashamed of yourself for getting her involved in such a diabolical scheme. At least Davina isn't actively participating in your nonsense. Before you know it I'll be seeing my new coach Georgette jumping on that runaway train of yours. You all best be careful there's a sharp curve coming up and there just could be a train wreck ahead ....
Glad your dinner went well with family and your niece was polite and did the right thing for you. I hope you gave her a big hug. The victuals sounded good. I had to look up what halloumi was. You don't hear much of grilled cheese here in the USA it just isn't done much. I like to fry cheddar for my egg & muffin breakfasts. I had never heard of it until I went to a hamburger stand in England and saw the cook doing it. It's pretty good to do and gives the cheese a whole different taste. So I would probably like grilled halloumi.
Okay I'm done. You can go back to sleep now.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Shy on May 29, 2017, 04:48:16 PM
...............Hope you're feeling better after your trip, seemed like quite an adventure.................
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hope you are feeling better after your
The has been a deep fundamental change in me and the way I view the world and myself in it. Even after all these months I would still experience a certain amount of fear as I went out the door which ruled me until I returned some time later. That fear and apprehension seems to have disappeared for the time being. The reunion was almost like a "flooding" experience...My dysphoria has settled again to its usual background annoyance level that I can mange most days.
As far as "SalonHunting" goes ...
At the beginning of this year (2017)
I started perusing & replying to CL-adverts for "Hair Model Needed" ...
Not only have I had a free Trimming/Styling & free "BlowOuts" ...
I've been becoming personally familiar with some of the various local HairSalons ...
& local individual up&coming beauticians ...
(I don't yet have any "selfies" of my recent free Trimming/Styling ...)
Quote from: Laurie on May 29, 2017, 06:12:18 PM
Hi Sadie,
Well Dagnabbit you can't blame a girl from trying. It sounded really hopeful. But I guess it was just more wishful thinking. Here I thought you were finally break the chains and get on with life. (muttering under the breath, "and give me a break")
Thank you for the compliment. amazing what a bit of makeup and a nice looking top can do for an old crone, isn't it? lol Actually I liked the look except for the brows. My brows need professional help. (or a stencil)
Did you see what that sneaky Liz did? Huh? Huh? Subliminal messages my eyeball. It was just those hurtful naughty words over and over again. I had to zoom the browser to read all that tiny print! I mean the nerve of the woman! The Nerve! And Cindy pops in everyso often with her cajoling. And Moni, yeah well we all kow about the moody Moni, here lately you could almost think she was cis and having her ummm . yeah well you know what I was getting at. And then there is YOU! You and your silly campaign . Project something or other and you've even corrupt sweet innocent p. You should be ashamed of yourself for getting her involved in such a diabolical scheme. At least Davina isn't actively participating in your nonsense. Before you know it I'll be seeing my new coach Georgette jumping on that runaway train of yours. You all best be careful there's a sharp curve coming up and there just could be a train wreck ahead ....
Hugs,
Laurie
Hi Laurie,
With all the talk of train wrecks, sharp bends and corruption I decided to take the bus instead ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: ElizabethK on May 30, 2017, 03:34:36 AM
The has been a deep fundamental change in me and the way I view the world and myself in it. Even after all these months I would still experience a certain amount of fear as I went out the door which ruled me until I returned some time later. That fear and apprehension seems to have disappeared for the time being. The reunion was almost like a "flooding" experience...My dysphoria has settled again to its usual background annoyance level that I can mange most days.
I know what you mean Liz.
I suppose when you throw your pebble into the mainstream it will always cause a ripple initially, but that will soon spread out and dissipate.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Annecy on May 30, 2017, 09:39:31 AM
As far as "SalonHunting" goes ...
At the beginning of this year (2017)
I started perusing & replying to CL-adverts for "Hair Model Needed" ...
Not only have I had a free Trimming/Styling & free "BlowOuts" ...
I've been becoming personally familiar with some of the various local HairSalons ...
& local individual up&coming beauticians ...
Sounds like you're having fun Annecy, free is always good. Sadly me and my hair parted company forty years ago, so it's more of a wig fitting experience for me. Plus the odd makeover or two.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 30, 2017, 03:28:53 PM
Hi Laurie,
With all the talk of train wrecks, sharp bends and corruption I decided to take the bus instead ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Dratz Foiled again!
Hugs,
Laurie
Well Sadie's back full time again after the little 'unintentional' interlude.
Much happier now, I really hate going out without my face and glad rags on. I seem to have done a 180 from a few months back where It was terrified to step out the door. Spent the morning in town mainly food shopping, but it was just nice to get out as me.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 31, 2017, 07:32:59 AM
Well Sadie's back full time again after the little 'unintentional' interlude.
Much happier now, I really hate going out without my face and glad rags on. I seem to have done a 180 from a few months back where It was terrified to step out the door. Spent the morning in town mainly food shopping, but it was just nice to get out as me.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Morning Sadie,
Ahhhh Now I understand why you've been oscillating between pensive and cranky. Welcome back Sadie and get thee gone imposter!!
I sitting here pondering to take my sister to an early morning doctor's appoint With polish on or polish off in male mode, female mode, or hybrid. I am becoming a little more comfortable as myself. Decisions decisions.
Oh well, Glad the old girl is back Sadie and glad you are feeling better.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 31, 2017, 07:45:53 AM
Morning Sadie,
Ahhhh Now I understand why you've been oscillating between pensive and cranky. Welcome back Sadie and get thee gone imposter!!
I sitting here pondering to take my sister to an early morning doctor's appoint With polish on or polish off in male mode, female mode, or hybrid. I am becoming a little more comfortable as myself. Decisions decisions.
Oh well, Glad the old girl is back Sadie and glad you are feeling better.
Hugs,
Laurie
Its that Mr Miyagi training kicking in again Laurie. "polish on, polish off, polish on polish off" Good for learning patience but terrible for your nails.
Glad to hear you're getting more comfy, seriously girl you look amazing. Wear what makes you feel happy :D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 31, 2017, 08:02:45 AM
Its that Mr Miyagi training kicking in again Laurie. "polish on, polish off, polish on polish off" Good for learning patience but terrible for your nails.
Glad to hear you're getting more comfy, seriously girl you look amazing. Wear what makes you feel happy :D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Alas Sadie,
It was a polish off kind of day and went to my sister's appointment in hybrid mode. Besides I'm going to do a bit of grocery shopping and possible a trip into my bank today. But hey I can polish on again with a different color when I'm done!
Thank you for the compliment and I am getting to where I want to wear my clothes more often but I'm still not ready to do it all the time yet.
I hope you are having a good day.
Hugs,
Laurie
All blood tests came back clear for the muscle spasms I've been getting. Kind of good news and bad news because i'm no closer to knowing what's going on. Next appointment with the doc is in three weeks. I hate all this not knowing.
Sadie's half in half out today, really too hot for the wig, so wearing a silk head wrap instead. But nails are painted a nice burgundy, wearing some really comfy yoga gear.
I feel a little awkward presenting in the heat as I haven't started HRT and the lightweight summer clothes just give me away with my flat chest. I certainly don't want to go with breast forms, I want the girls when they arrive to be all mine, so it's baggy tops in the hope that nobody notices.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Good news on the blood tests...at least it is another thing off the list of possibility...I know it doesn't solve the problem but at least you are one step closer.
Wigs on hot days can be really hard to handle...I would just sweat :icon_archery:
I love your hair! Perfect!!
Sent from my K88 using Tapatalk
Quote from: ElizabethK on June 01, 2017, 05:30:48 AM
Good news on the blood tests...at least it is another thing off the list of possibility...I know it doesn't solve the problem but at least you are one step closer.
Wigs on hot days can be really hard to handle...I would just sweat :icon_archery:
Thanks Liz :)
I guess getting "wiggy" with it on hot days is going to take some practice, I don't want to slow cook the few brain cells I have left ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: CharleeGrrl on June 01, 2017, 11:49:45 AM
I love your hair! Perfect!!
Sent from my K88 using Tapatalk
Why thank you CharleeGrrl, that's very sweet of you to say. :) :) :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Thank you, sister! And u as well, always.
Sent from my LG-H820 using Tapatalk
That's why growing out and styling your own is always better. And using Aryan Oil to soften your hair just before blow drying also helps soften your hair and makes it really manageable.
Sent from my LG-H820 using Tapatalk
Quote from: CharleeGrrl on June 02, 2017, 04:35:25 AM
That's why growing out and styling your own is always better. And using Aryan Oil to soften your hair just before blow drying also helps soften your hair and makes it really manageable.
Sent from my LG-H820 using Tapatalk
Alas Charleegrrl, Though we would dearly love to grow out our own hair and luxuriate in it, some of us old fogies no longer have that option so we are forced to use alternative means to cover our bald pates.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sorry, typo. ARGAN. NOT aryan. Darned predictive typing.
Sent from my K88 using Tapatalk
Well, maybe your hair is "older". I'm really not too sure about that, as I'm 61. But ok. It really does make it softer and my hair "breathes" better. I can card my hair with my fingers for days after using Argan oil. Ordinary conditioner doesn't do that. It's not expensive; give it a try.
Sent from my K88 using Tapatalk
Quote from: CharleeGrrl on June 02, 2017, 01:47:00 PM
Well, maybe your hair is "older". I'm really not too sure about that, as I'm 61. But ok. It really does make it softer and my hair "breathes" better. I can card my hair with my fingers for days after using Argan oil. Ordinary conditioner doesn't do that. It's not expensive; give it a try.
Sent from my K88 using Tapatalk
CharleeGrrl
I seriously doubt argan oil is going to do anything for this head of hair. btw I'm 64.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fj2SEzPR.jpg&hash=39517b9491ca1c8f08354f80efbf5846152e224d)
lmao
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Shy on May 03, 2017, 12:00:47 PM
Found my go to beauty salon today after a lot of searching around and feeling awkward:)
Spent the afternoon looking through wigs and trying on different styles. It was quite emotional for me being the first time I've seen my self with hair in 40 years.
The staff were amazing with me, I came out feeling another box has been ticked. They are happy to help me with my transition and get me looking my best for the upcoming gender clinic appointments. I felt right at home and accepted,
so a good day for me :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff
Sadie
God's unlimited love be with you in all things. I am so very happy for you! You have every right to be who you are. So be who you are! And know that my prayers are with you, always.
Sent from my LG-H820 using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on May 03, 2017, 01:03:12 PM
Hi Sadie,
I still can't bring myself to do something like that. Keep it up and you'll leave me gasping for breath in your dust.
I did look online again for a place to inquire about electrolysis and once again I find I have only one option fairly close without going into Portland. I've even bookmarked the site, have a shortcut on my desktop to the address and phone number, and haven't called them yet. I am leery about it as I can't really find any reviews or ratings. The site has little actual information on it except the tech does it by appointment only and is board certified. No menu of services, nor any pricing info.
Again I find myself disappointed with the lack of resources available in and around Portland.
Good for you Sadie. Keep on truckin.
Hugs,
laurie
Hi! I read your message to Sadie and I want to tell you that you have nothing to fear. Truly!
Don't be afraid; most people at a professional level "see it all, do it all". And they need to make money to pay rent, eat food, just like everybody else.
So don't be afraid to ask about services and prices. Use your femme name, and explain truthfully who you really are, and what your objectives are.
Most women are pretty sympathetic to mtf's. I'm not sure why; maybe its because we're "joining the club"?
Write down everything and write back to us all so we can go there, too!
Lots of love and light to you from beautiful Idaho!
Sent from my LG-H820 using Tapatalk
Quote from: CharleeGrrl on June 03, 2017, 01:33:44 PM
Hi! I read your message to Sadie and I want to tell you that you have nothing to fear. Truly!
Don't be afraid; most people at a professional level "see it all, do it all". And they need to make money to pay rent, eat food, just like everybody else.
So don't be afraid to ask about services and prices. Use your femme name, and explain truthfully who you really are, and what your objectives are.
Most women are pretty sympathetic to mtf's. I'm not sure why; maybe its because we're "joining the club"?
Write down everything and write back to us all so we can go there, too!
Lots of love and light to you from beautiful Idaho!
Sent from my LG-H820 using Tapatalk
Hi CharleeGrrl,
That post was written a little while ago. Since then I have had 2 sessions (3 hours) with Christine at All Clear Electrology in Wilsonville, Or. She is the one I mentioned that is not in Portland and am happy with her so fair. I've written more about this and my transition in my thread Here I go Again at https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,220953.620.html
Idaho huh? The places I've been in Idaho have been fairly desolate except way up in the far north. I've been through on I84 mostly but have also been through the Naval weapons testing range and Craters of the Moon areas also. I will probably be passing through on I84 again soon.
Thanks for the tips and encouragement.
Hugs,
Laurie
Well I don't think I've been triggered so much as in these past few days but I seems to be calming now. It tends to come in waves with me, it never lasts so I know I'll bounce back.
Had my monthly wax and threading today which I always enjoy, although they refused to honer my loyalty card with a free session which annoyed me a lot as i've always been a good tipper. They also charge me £2 extra for gendering me incorrectly so I think I need to find a better place to park my eyebrows.
Got a tg group meeting this Saturday which always gives me an excuse to get my glad rags on and have a good chinwag with the ladies and a nice cup of tea. Still haven't found my place within the group as my social skills aren't up to scratch just yet but I'm working on it.
Nothing else much to report, other than doctor and shrink appointments that I won't bore you with. So hey ho, Sadie's bouncing back, should be on top form by next week. Sometime this stuff just takes time to process, I think if I didn't have rough patches I'd be more worried. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on June 06, 2017, 05:16:52 PM
Well I don't think I've been triggered so much as in these past few days but I seems to be calming now. It tends to come in waves with me, it never lasts so I know I'll bounce back.
That is really horrible when it happens...as I progress through this journey I find the things that will trigger a huge emotional response are constantly in flux, do you find the same?...there are some givens but then wham something out of the blue will just slam me, you know, unexpected stuff, yesterday for example as I sat in my car after doing the shopping I watched a woman with her 5 or 6 year old little girl affectionately stroking her hair...this lead to a series of thoughts...and...well...we all know how that play ends!!! Dysphoria
This is the type of stuff that catches me totally off guard...totally unexpected...sound familar?
I hope you are feeling a bit better, it can take awhile though especially when you get slammed by one after the other which is how it normally happens. Not in "cope able" amounts!
Hugs
Liz
Quote from: ElizabethK on June 06, 2017, 09:49:04 PM
emotional response are constantly in flux, do you find the same?
This is the type of stuff that catches me totally off guard...totally unexpected...sound familar?
I hope you are feeling a bit better, it can take awhile though especially when you get slammed by one after the other which is how it normally happens. Not in "cope able" amounts!
Hugs
Liz
It all gets a bit like this sometimes Liz as I try to juggle and make sense of things, but it usually comes good in the end ;D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V18ozQaedqA
Feeling much better today, off to paint my parents front room for them so I have a nice distraction. Keeping busy always help I find.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well spent the week decorating my parents house, still lots to do. My mum has this great knack of hinting that now the living room's been done the kitchen looks like it could really do with a spruce up. I can see this pattern continuing for the rest of the house and probably the outside too.
Been much better in myself, brought some new eyeshadow and a nice bright pink lipstick for the summer that cheered me up. Funny how these little things make a big difference.
Had fun at the local TG group, I can see that some of those girls are going to be a bad influence on me with talk of night clubs shenanigans and curry houses. I'm tea total and not a teenager anymore I keep telling them, but they're having none of it. I said I'll go to the local pride with them instead which seemed to get a few grunts of approval, so I may have gotten away with it for now; Although I suspect they'll have me dressed in a tutu and feather boa for the pleasure::)
So it's back to full time for me, wobble over ;D Bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning, mission "M" is back on, in fact I might book an appointment for next week. I've never had a full facial, so I may plump for that.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on June 11, 2017, 05:37:38 AM
Well spent the week decorating my parents house, still lots to do. My mum has this great knack of hinting that now the living room's been done the kitchen looks like it could really do with a spruce up. I can see this pattern continuing for the rest of the house and probably the outside too.
Been much better in myself, brought some new eyeshadow and a nice bright pink lipstick for the summer that cheered me up. Funny how these little things make a big difference.
Had fun at the local TG group, I can see that some of those girls are going to be a bad influence on me with talk of night clubs shenanigans and curry houses. I'm tea total and not a teenager anymore I keep telling them, but they're having none of it. I said I'll go to the local pride with them instead which seemed to get a few grunts of approval, so I may have gotten away with it for now; Although I suspect they'll have me dressed in a tutu and feather boa for the pleasure::)
So it's back to full time for me, wobble over ;D Bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning, mission "M" is back on, in fact I might book an appointment for next week. I've never had a full facial, so I may plump for that.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
That's great you are able to do that for your Mum...resistance is futile....this is the one person in the world how probably knows how to manipulate(nicely) you to do anything...I know my Mother could...worst still is at our age you know exactly what they are doing, they also know that you know....but we still do it LOL
Nice to hear you are feeling better about yourself and I agree it is the small things that can make a huge difference...it reminds me of how closed I was to many things in my life
I understand about the local group stuff...nothing like a good night out to shake your stuff about but these days anything more than an hour and I am going to need a revival team ha ha ha...Ok so maybe not quite but I think you get the idea....the parade is more my speed.
Hope you have a great week
Hi SAdie,
Glad to hear you are somewhat back to your normal self (whatever that is). Go to the pride thing It won't hurt you. I survived one here so you should be able to there.
Just go do it and have fun dang it!
Hugs,
Laurie
Thanks ladies :)
Just off out the door with me painting clobber on, not very ladylike, but hey it's for a good cause and usually a free feed at the end of it. The odd thing is my Dad the other day was more worried about me getting paint on my manicure than he was about getting it on the walls.
I don't think he's fully accepted me yet, there's still a lot of Freudian slips, but he's from a different generation. I'm not expecting any miraculous changes in his mid 80's other than making old man noises and odd gestures at inappropriate times. Mostly he sleeps.
Anywho mum's just been on the phone wondering where I am, so must dash or i'm for it! ;D
Have a lovely week ladies,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well my suspicions have been realised, the kitchen has been added to the list of rooms to do. I had my own personal Forman or should I say Forwoman for most of the day in the form of my mum. All she needed was a hard hat, neon jacket, possibly a bacon butty and a clip board to complete the illusion, only it wasn't an illusion and I've been roped in to doing another room.
Luckily today I had to make a swift retreat to catch the chemist before it closes, already thinking of my excuses for tomorrow but alas she's got me by the short and curlies with those puppy eyes of hers. ::)
Spent this evening trying to work out the best way to disguise hooded eyes. I think I'm getting better with eye makeup, also really amazed at how much of an art form it all is. How a little tweak here a little soften there can really make a difference. Having fun watching videos and learning the finer things so a nice relaxing evening tonight experimenting with different colours and looks. Started out looking like a panda and worked back from there ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well shaved my head for the first time ever today :icon_yikes:
The strange thing is that I now appear more gender neutral without my wig on, so in a way it's helped a little with my dysphoria and self image :) I still wear the wig from dusk to dawn though, but when I take it off It doesn't feel like such a jolt, especially if i'm wearing makeup, which I inevitably am. So for me a good move I'd say ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on June 14, 2017, 04:02:10 PM
Well shaved my head for the first time ever today :icon_yikes:
The strange thing is that I now appear more gender neutral without my wig on, so in a way it's helped a little with my dysphoria and self image :) I still wear the wig from dusk to dawn though, but when I take it off It doesn't feel like such a jolt, especially if i'm wearing makeup, which I inevitably am. So for me a good move I'd say ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
You wear your wig all evening and all night then take it off during the day? That seems odd. But then we are taking about someone strange...
I agree it sounds weird that cutting your hair off would help with your dysphoria but hey if it works, it can't be bad.
I'm glad it does.
Do you have your painting chores done yet?
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 14, 2017, 04:44:28 PM
Hi Sadie,
You wear your wig all evening and all night then take it off during the day? That seems odd. But the we are taking about someone strange...
I agree it sounds weird that cutting your hair off would help with your dysphoria but hey if it works, it can't be bad.
I'm glad it does.
Do you have your painting chores done yet?
Hugs,
Laurie
Lol, yeh i'm a vampire and it sucks ;D meant to say dawn till dusk.
I didn't have much hair left to shave off, but glad what little I did have is gone. Seems to have helped some as I now look very androgynous leaning towards feminine with a little makeup.
Painting chores are going well, done the living and dining rooms. I have a stay of reprieve whilst my parents argue over what new carpet to choose, that could take a while as they can only fight it out between naps and gameshows on the TV.
Hope the preparations for expedition Laurie are going well, should be leaving base camp soon now girl, eh? It's sounds like it's going to be a fun trip for you. :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on June 15, 2017, 03:17:20 AM
Lol, yeh i'm a vampire and it sucks ;D meant to say dawn till dusk.
Hope the preparations for expedition Laurie are going well, should be leaving base camp soon now girl, eh? It's sounds like it's going to be a fun trip for you. :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I knew you meant that, but that doesn't stop me from taking a shot at a target of opportunity. lol
(speaking of shots and targets.. I wonder how that Moanknee is doing)
Preparations are going well for hitting the road this evening. (translation: Having coffee thinking about what to make for breakfast and what to pack)
Glad you are getting a rest between rooms while negotiations are underway. btw is carpet installation also one of your domestic skills?
Enjoy your rest period.
Hugs,
Laurie
Have fun Laurie, drive safe and don't do anything I wouldn't do ;D
Give the ladies a big hug from me when you meet them, even dear old mongoose bless her cotton socks, I bet she's a big softie really.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on June 15, 2017, 12:12:11 PM
Have fun Laurie, drive safe and don't do anything I wouldn't do ;D
Give the ladies a big hug from me when you meet them, even dear old mongoose bless her cotton socks, I bet she's a big softie really.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie,
I'll try to do that for you but remember I get distracted easily and sometime suffer from sometimers, and sometimes suffer from sometimers, and somet...
Hugs,
Laurie
Just painted my toe nails GREEN (almost minty) in honour of your salon visit, sorry road trip
Quote from: davina61 on June 15, 2017, 03:44:45 PM
Just painted my toe nails GREEN (almost minty) in honour of your salon visit, sorry road trip
Lol, I remember the first colour I painted my toe nails was British Racing Green. I even got adventurous once and added a beige racing stripe. :D
When's this road trip going to start already? I mean I've brought the snacks in, popcorn's on the go and the drinks are on ice ;D I guess there's Greenwhich Mean Time and there's Laurie time. A thousand monkeys could have written the complete works of Shakespeare in the time it's taken Laurie to pack her undies. ::)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: davina61 on June 15, 2017, 03:44:45 PM
Just painted my toe nails GREEN (almost minty) in honour of your salon visit, sorry road trip
Hreen???? Noooo ! Hot Pink!!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FraZ0RmS.jpg&hash=b6b21e826e91a46c26e5f1736b547ec024ba545a)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FsaQ5FJp.jpg&hash=46b8f9fb2ba92404cc2d5fc1cec68c396f310d2a)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FIloZUFv.jpg&hash=40378f86c753bc564ca18ddf52b54f079da18e0d)
Still drying...
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Shy on June 15, 2017, 05:56:43 PM
Lol, I remember the first colour I painted my toe nails was British Racing Green. I even got adventurous once and added a beige racing stripe. :D
When's this road trip going to start already? I mean I've brought the snacks in, popcorn's on the go and the drinks are on ice ;D I guess there's Greenwhich Mean Time and there's Laurie time. A thousand monkeys could have written the complete works of Shakespeare in the time it's taken Laurie to pack her undies. ::)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I've been busy with important things.
Hugs,
Laurie
No Green[imp](https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi881.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac11%2Ftwobugs%2FIMG_20170616_204624_zpszsjl8cty.jpg&hash=ed4fc8bbc9d1fdd7132499092d5fb1c3cd3de352) (http://s881.photobucket.com/user/twobugs/media/IMG_20170616_204624_zpszsjl8cty.jpg.html)[/img]
Very nice Davina. I had a phase of those brighter colours but tend to stick to plumbs, reds and pinks these days, you rock that blue though girl! the sandals are nice.
I spent the afternoon trying to find something cool to wear as it's getting hot around these parts and I haven't got any lightweight blouses that I like. Got gendered correctly by everyone which was nice, it's usually love, sweetie or mam but got a "serve this lovely lady first" today which was nice :)
Been trying to build up the courage to get a proper bra fitting. I have slight gynecomastia, so I've got a full handful of breast to work with, just need the right bra to get the best out of what I've got. That will be next weeks challenge. I can't say I'm looking forward to it but needs must. I don't want to keep making expensive mistakes or buying something unsuitable for my frame, I'm also very dysphoric in that area so it's kind of hard for me. I'll get it done though, I'm quite single minded once I commit to something.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I got an A cup pushup bra from M&S that fits my moobs slightly padded as well , still prefer C cup with breast forms though as more weight (and bounce)
Thanks Davina.
I was scouting out M&S today, I think I'll pop in during the week when it's a bit quieter and get a fitting.
Had one of those dead name store card blunders today buying a birthday present for my niece :( But also had two different shop assistance commenting that we had the same nail polish on "Leighton Denny Red?" "yup" "nice colour isn't it?" "yup" "Suits you" "And you" "Have a nice day" "You too" I love these little conversations, silly I know but makes me feel more connected and socially accepted.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well a little update on what's been happening in Sadie land.
A month or so ago I was placed on the autism spectrum with Aspergers. I've always struggled socially so it wasn't too big of a surprise. To cut a long story short it sent my head spinning, hence my absence here, kind of a straw too many for me.
Anywho i'm settling now, and getting used to the idea that i'm officially a maths genius that should be working for NASSA ;D At least that's what my doc. said the other day bless his cotton socks.
So everything is back on track. Sadie has been out on the town for this past week, nails repainted and warpaint on. Some things you've just got to work through yourself and this was one of those things.
On the plus side, even when I wasn't trying I've been getting gendered correctly for the most part. The cramping I was getting for months has vanished as mysteriously as it appeared, and no bits have fallen off me, which i'll take as a good thing.
A little special thanks to Laurie for helping me through. you're a very special lady.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
My gosh girl I don't give a darn what they say you might be, I'm glad to have you running around here again.
(((HUG))) Missed you girl. I'm also glad you've worked things out but you do know we are here for you if you need us. Hack sometimes we all need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to. Me included, I surely am not special.
What you think I did I'm not sure as all I think I did was reach out to a friend I missed.
Glad you're back and beautiful.
Hugs,
Laurie
Well i've got the flu :(. Spent the last two night coughing and spluttering and feeling sorry for myself. Spent most of today programming a software drum sequencer which helped me to not feel sorry for myself by doing something constructive instead, but is still feel wretched.
I shall try and venture out tomorrow as i'm running low on supplies. Starting to feel the first hugs of autumn here in the U.K. It'll soon be coat and boots time. I do like autumn :) Anywho time for my beauty, cough, sleep......sneeze, splutter, sniff.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Defiantly on its way, I need to add to my wardrobe . Just got 2 pairs of jeans but need boots to go with them , ooh and a coat to keep the winter wind out . Have to see where Evans is in Hereford.
Quote from: Shy on September 17, 2017, 05:50:21 PM
Well i've got the flu :(. Spent the last two night coughing and spluttering and feeling sorry for myself. Spent most of today programming a software drum sequencer which helped me to not feel sorry for myself by doing something constructive instead, but is still feel wretched.
I shall try and venture out tomorrow as i'm running low on supplies. Starting to feel the first hugs of autumn here in the U.K. It'll soon be coat and boots time. I do like autumn :) Anywho time for my beauty, cough, sleep......sneeze, splutter, sniff.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I hope you are feeling better Sadie. I was just thinking today that I don't really have winter appropriate shoes or clothes. I did buy a very lightweight hoodless jacket but it's a little on the small size at an XL so I'm thinking of giving it away. I guess I'll need to do a bit of shopping.
Laurie
Well ladies looks like we've all got some shopping to do for new winter warmers.
Quote from: Laurie on September 19, 2017, 04:00:44 PM
I hope you are feeling better Sadie.
Laurie
Feeling much better thank you Laurie, still a bit congested but the coughing has stopped.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
So I message your post and have now got your bug, treating it with honey and lemon with a shot of bourbon!!!!!!
Quote from: davina61 on September 21, 2017, 02:06:48 PM
So I message your post and have now got your bug, treating it with honey and lemon with a shot of bourbon!!!!!!
Sorry to here that Davina, that pesky bug seems to be everywhere. Wishing you a speedy recovery, seems like it mutated to an internet virus ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well it's been a strange few months for me, I think I'm settling back into my rhythm again. Two years is too long to be left in the wilderness trying to work things out all on my lonesome (INSERT SYMPATHY HERE) I'm at the point where I need professional help to unravel this yarn ball that is my life. I know i'm trans, no question, but not to know if i'll even get any help when I do get to see someone is a constant worry.
Anywho, i'm determined to ride it out, distract myself as much as I can and be positive. Been composing some ambient music today drenched in reverb and long delays. That always calms my soul.
Off to see a regular councillor on Friday, It will be nice to just open up and blurt everything out i've been bottling lately.
I need to start running again and taking better care of myself. It's just been so mad for me recently with one thing or another + cramping. I knew I had to let things slip for a while and eat copious amounts of chocolate to compensate. So time to dust myself down, put my face on and get my act together, only I'm no longer acting thank goodness ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie.
With all that and PINK nails!!!!! Boots no7 stay perfect , just had a look but no name or anything on bottle. Darkish pink with a hint of brown?? wearing it at the moment, been on since Sunday night and still OK after work today and put a wardrobe together tonight as well .
Hi Sadie,
I read the part about your intentions to tell your therapist what has been bothering you and ask for help. It's probably long overdue. I hope you have decided to share your adventures with with us too. That initial coming out to your therapist thought a bit nerve racking is relieving also. I suspect the encounter is going to be great and it can even be euphoric. I want to hear all about it Sadie.
I too have a session with my therapist tomorrow and I too plan on asking for help. I think I also have some life to unravel as you put it. We can compare notes.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on September 27, 2017, 08:12:21 PM
Hi Sadie,
I read the part about your intentions to tell your therapist what has been bothering you and ask for help. It's probably long overdue. I hope you have decided to share your adventures with with us too. That initial coming out to your therapist thought a bit nerve racking is relieving also. I suspect the encounter is going to be great and it can even be euphoric. I want to hear all about it Sadie.
I too have a session with my therapist tomorrow and I too plan on asking for help. I think I also have some life to unravel as you put it. We can compare notes.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thanks Laurie :) My therapist know everything, I've been living full time for nearly 7months or so. We share makeup tips ;D. What she doesn't know is about the autism diagnosis which has really sent my head spinning.
I've struggled socially all my life, beat myself up about it, been medicated for it, but all the time barking up the wrong tree.
It's a lot to take on board as now I know it's very unlikely things are going to change for me.
I'm starting to recognise it now though, my family had one of those 'now it all makes sense' moments, and I think in the long term I will find some peace with it all.
I hope you feeling better my friend and good luck with the therapy.
Quote from: davina61 on September 27, 2017, 04:44:06 PM
With all that and PINK nails!!!!! Boots no7 stay perfect , just had a look but no name or anything on bottle. Darkish pink with a hint of brown?? wearing it at the moment, been on since Sunday night and still OK after work today and put a wardrobe together tonight as well .
I'm a number7 girl through and through, so much so they're thinking of calling me number8. Never tried their polish though.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well I saw the therapist today, sorted a few things out that were troubling me.
I think i'll stop posting in this thread now, i'm not sure if it helps anyone, I don't think it's helping me so i'll sneak off and hide in the shadows somewhere. Peace to you all.
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on September 29, 2017, 05:21:07 PM
Well I saw the therapist today, sorted a few things out that were troubling me.
I think i'll stop posting in this thread now, i'm not sure if it helps anyone, I don't think it's helping me so i'll sneak off and hide in the shadows somewhere. Peace to you all.
Sadie
Awww Sadie, don't go running off. Have you been sharing what it is that you are having trouble with? If not then how can we help you. Oh I know not everyone wears their hearts on their sleeves like I do mine. Sadie, you have to at least give us some clues so we can figure out what you need help with. Maybe you don't want to share it in public, Then pick someone you think may be able to help you and PM them. But if you must go please return occasionally and let us know how you are doing.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sadie Girl, don't you be taking your bootie off. You been a postin' and I been a lurkin' and a learnin'.
This is your thread. You cant just make those boots for walkin'. Here you co do the Boot Skootin' Boggie. What a horrible song.
Hi everyone,
I know it's been a long time, but I had to wander the wilderness for a while. These are personal journeys for all of us and I just needed to step aside and take stock.
I'm still full time, that's over a year now barring a few unscheduled blips, and only another 8 months or so before I actually get to see a gender therapist. I'm a little dysphoric just now, but not too bad. I want to change my name to stop those all too common awkward moments, but until, or if I get an official green light for a medical transition I'm stuck in the twilight zone. It's the uncertainty of it all that is troubling, the stuff that is out of my hands.
On the plus side i'm muddling through, keeping busy. Life's not so bad. I don't cower anymore when I see my reflection in a shop window. I feel very comfortable presenting as myself in public :) I still struggle with close neighbours though, I won't lie about that, but it doesn't stop me moving forward. I'm sure it's just a self esteem issue and a little focused therapy will give me the tools I need to sort it.
So that's about it, I've missed everyone, A LOT! Hope you are all well unlike everyone in the U.K. who seems to have the flu.
Darn it! I just smudged my polish trying to type this post, see what happens when I visit Susan's ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie.
Quote from: Shy on January 09, 2018, 04:34:40 PM
On the plus side i'm muddling through, keeping busy. Life's not so bad. I don't cower anymore when I see my reflection in a shop window. I feel very comfortable presenting as myself in public :) I still struggle with close neighbours though, I won't lie about that, but it doesn't stop me moving forward. I'm sure it's just a self esteem issue and a little focused therapy will give me the tools I need to sort it.
........
Sadie.
Hi Sadie
Great to see you back and posting. Sounds like some well needed time out.
So glad to see you are happy with the way you look and are still moving forward. Sounds to me like you even know what you have to do when it comes to the neighbours...sounds like you got this :)
Great to see you back
Liz
HI !! Sadie,
I've been wondering where you were and it is about time you found your way back here. Glad you decided to come pay us a visit. It is good to see you have kept moving forward and becoming more comfortable with yourself.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: ElizabethK on January 09, 2018, 07:30:10 PM
Hi Sadie
Great to see you back and posting. Sounds like some well needed time out.
So glad to see you are happy with the way you look and are still moving forward. Sounds to me like you even know what you have to do when it comes to the neighbours...sounds like you got this :)
Great to see you back
Liz
Ha, I know I've got something whether it's 'this' or not I have no idea ;D Seriously I'm slowly bouncing back from some self imposed navel gazing and introspection. I'm not sure if it did me any good but i'm glad I did it.
Thanks for the encouragement and welcome, soon everyone will be wanting to get rid of me as I crack my knuckles, stick my tongue to one side and get on with the serious business of seeing what you girls have been up to ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie.
Quote from: Laurie on January 09, 2018, 07:39:50 PM
HI !! Sadie,
I've been wondering where you were and it is about time you found your way back here. Glad you decided to come pay us a visit. It is good to see you have kept moving forward and becoming more comfortable with yourself.
Hugs,
Laurie
Hi Laurie,
I've missed you girl, next time I decide to go off 'walkabout' make sure to draw me a map, or a least get me a didgeridoo so I can honk for help when I loose myself in the local shopping centre. Seems to be happening a lot these days ;D
From the little I've read I can see you've been having a bit of a rough time of things, well that won't do at all, so a big Sadie hug from across the pond.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on January 12, 2018, 05:07:02 AM
Hi Laurie,
I've missed you girl, next time I decide to go off 'walkabout' make sure to draw me a map, or a least get me a didgeridoo so I can honk for help when I loose myself in the local shopping centre. Seems to be happening a lot these days ;D
From the little I've read I can see you've been having a bit of a rough time of things, well that won't do at all, so a big Sadie hug from across the pond.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Thanks for the hug Sadie. I'm afraid someone else will need to draw you that map. I've never been over that away long enough to draw you a map. perhaps Davina or Megan can do it for you.
Yeah, things have been a little difficult. It seems I found this hole I dug a long ago and fell in after some things happened after my daughter put enough water in the bottom and it's turned to quicksand. I got stuck and am trying to keep my head from going under. I'm not sure I can because I'm getting kind of tired of trying.
Hugs,
Laurie
How do you girls manage loneliness, or feeling isolated? I made a bit of a meltdown, poor old me post earlier, which isn't like me at all so I deleted it. I am struggling though, being in limbo waiting for the cg clinic when everyone else seems to be moving forward. It's not the green eyed monster or anything like that, just that I feel I have nothing to share, no big announcements of moving forward and making a life for myself. Everything seems to have come to a grinding halt. It makes me feel separate from the community somehow.
Having asbergers doesn't help, but i'm slowly getting my head around the late diagnosis I had. It put a halt to everything for a while as I had to make sure it wasn't the thing driving my dysphoria. I can separate the two now, thank goodness, of course i'm trans! But i had to be responsible and check, even if it was uncomfortable at the time. I'm in a process of grieving and accepting now, I have received no help, it was like 'yes, you've got asbergers have a nice life' without even explaining to me what asbergers actually was. Turns out as long as you don't feed me after midnight i'm quite normal really. It's just a part of me, much like a leg or an arm.
So i'm feeling a little isolated, left out, and maybe a little sorry for myself for sure. It normally doesn't bother me that much, i've gotten used to my own company, I've been in a lot worse places in my life. So if I make some dum posts, have a hissy fit, cry for attention, please have some patience with me. I thought I had eight months or so before I get to see a gender therapist but it turns out It's probably well over another year. I'm not sure yet, I'm just going by what some of the ladies said at my local trans group the other night.
Not any reflection on the CG clinic, those people are under so much pressure, when my slot finally comes through I shall make sure I thank them for all their hard work, but sadly they seem to take the brunt of peoples frustration when the finger should be pointed elsewhere.
On the plus side I've managed to stay full time, I think I'm reaching a point where I'm happy just to be me. I only recognise myself in the mirror as Sadie, there are still bits where bits shouldn't be and bits missing where bits should be. So the full length mirror is banished to the back of the closet for now.
Anyway, sorry to dump this on you all, I'm feeling a little better now, it's just been one of those days. I cried for the first time in years which is probably an indication that I am healing and starting to let go of a lot of baggage I built up over the past six months or so.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hiya Sadie,
How do I deal with loneliness? I guess I am used to it and perhaps I am deluding myself but I'd say, I like being alone. But there are times where I get a hankering to go for a ride and you know what happens when I do that. I am either angry about something and could be gone hours or even overnight before calming down and turn around to head back home. Or I maybe on a road trip and off visiting people. When that happens I usually don't know when I'll be back, where I'm going, or who I might see but I have an idea or two and it could be weeks before I return. I do enjoy visiting friends and doing things with them but they all seem so far away. But even so I wouldn't say I am lonely because I live online (it you haven't noticed)
I know that feeling of feeling stuck, many of us do. But it doesn't stop me from talking about how I feel and it doesn't keep me from commenting on other posts and reaching out to them and let them know I am reading what they have to say. As far as you feeling left out, I'm sorry that you have that feeling. I know I look to see if you have posted something here so I can read what you have to say.
You are at least the third person I know that has been diagnosed with Asperger. I don't profess to know just what that means though from the description I just read I could possibly qualify. I certainly could see any difference in the one guy I played World of Warcraft with for a few years.
Hey I am glad to see you back girl. Feel free to pm me if you need a chat or a slap up the side of the head.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on January 15, 2018, 06:28:56 PM
Hiya Sadie,
How do I deal with loneliness? I guess I am used to it and perhaps I am deluding myself but I'd say, I like being alone. But there are times where I get a hankering to go for a ride and you know what happens when I do that. I am either angry about something and could be gone hours or even overnight before calming down and turn around to head back home. Or I maybe on a road trip and off visiting people. When that happens I usually don't know when I'll be back, where I'm going, or who I might see but I have an idea or two and it could be weeks before I return. I do enjoy visiting friends and doing things with them but they all seem so far away. But even so I wouldn't say I am lonely because I live online (it you haven't noticed)
I know that feeling of feeling stuck, many of us do. But it doesn't stop me from talking about how I feel and it doesn't keep me from commenting on other posts and reaching out to them and let them know I am reading what they have to say. As far as you feeling left out, I'm sorry that you have that feeling. I know I look to see if you have posted something here so I can read what you have to say.
You are at least the third person I know that has been diagnosed with Asperger. I don't profess to know just what that means though from the description I just read I could possibly qualify. I certainly could see any difference in the one guy I played World of Warcraft with for a few years.
Hey I am glad to see you back girl. Feel free to pm me if you need a chat or a slap up the side of the head.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you Laurie for the acknowledgement and the hand of friendship. You've always been there for me, through the tough times and the good. You're one of the kindest ladies I could of ever of had the pleasure of meeting, and before you get typing away saying the opposite, take the compliment! You've really helped me :)
Thing is I thought I'd stigmatised myself on this forum by mentioning I had been diagnosed autistic. And to an extent I think I probably have, silence can be deafening sometimes. But i'm still the same person I ever was, autism is a spectrum disorder and i'm classified as high functioning. I just struggle with social situations that's all, the maths genius bit missed me altogether:P It's not unlike being trans though, the way society responds, or doesn't respond to people who are different, both can be a challenge. It won't make me hide away though, that will just make me resentful and I don't want to be that person.
I'm o.k. now, I had a wonderful life lesson in my inbox this morning that will help navigate the years I have ahead of me ;D
I hope you are doing well, I do worry about the pickle you get yourself into sometimes. I'm not one to diagnose if you are on the autistic spectrum or not but my diagnosis started with a hunch. Because it's the way I've always seen the world it took a professional to help me recognise things in my behaviour. I've always know I was different, shy and socially awkward even with family. It's like the being trans, everyone is different but we still all live under the same umbrella.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well today has been a surprisingly good day. Neighbourphobia didn't even blip on the radar, I kind of phase in and out of that one but today was o.k.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Good morning Sadie,
Well it is morning here anyway. I know it's late afternoon there and getting on toward dinner time. Home you have something yummy planned.
I am not afraid of autism. My son was afflicted with a genetic defect called fragile X syndrome and is a form of autism. Basically about 17% of his X chromosomes were broken. They literally looked like a piece of them were broke and barely hanging on. Females are typically not greatly affected due to having 2 X and nature turns off the broken one. Boys however having only the 1 are stuck with what they get. Kylan was the sweetest of kids and smart in many ways. He was about the mental age of a 3 - 4 year old. He loved watching nascar races and knew the name of the drivers band car makers better than I did. He loved going for rides but hated coming home. He would recognize Our neighborhood and begin throwing a fit. When he got home from his special school my wife would have to fight with him scratching and biting to get him off the bus and into the house then box him in behind the front door in a small space then sit on the floor with her back against the door to hold him there until he calmed down. He would reach around the door to scratch her if he could and remove all his clothes and throw them out. Once he was calmed down he was let out and was once again the sweet child we knew. Eventually he became too much for her to handle and I reluctantly agreed to put him in a group home where he could get a more structured environment.
My daughter had already left home angry at and no longer talking to me. I was deep into our marital problems and firmly entrenched in my alcoholism and drug abuse by then. Placing my son in the home was the last thing my wife was waiting for and a couple months later I was escorted from my home by the police.
Oh wow did I ever go down the wrong path. All I wanted to do Sadie was to let you know , you are my friend and no silly label is going to change that. I missed you while you were gone and I am glad you have come back. You are also supportive of me and others here in the forum and I do look for updates from you. So don't go wandering off. You hear me girl?
Hugs,
Laurie
I don't mix well, run out of things to say unless its some thing I am passionate about ( drag racing/hotrods, cooking) but then that's boring to most folk. Happier on my own TBH but miss company. Thanks for all my friends on here.
Good evening Laurie :)
Thank you for sharing that, It can't have been easy for you to go over old memories. I do notice these things, and appreciate your company. There are no blueprint for life, most of us get it wrong, some of us self medicate when things get too painful, even if we didn't realise it at the time we were just crying out for help. I ended up in a drug house for many years but I don't let it define me now, i've learned to forgive myself and amwiser for it. To this day I don't know how I survived, but I did.
I have a few books to read on woman with asbergers recommended to me at my assessment. I needed a little breathing space first before I started work on untangling the yarn ball that has been place in my lap.
Any-who, I feel much better today, underneath it all I'm really quit a strong woman. A year or so ago when I first came out that would have had trouble saying that as I fumbled to find myself. Now it's just a profound truth that I take great comfort from.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: davina61 on January 16, 2018, 03:09:33 PM
I don't mix well, run out of things to say unless its some thing I am passionate about ( drag racing/hotrods, cooking) but then that's boring to most folk. Happier on my own TBH but miss company. Thanks for all my friends on here.
There you are, I've been worried about you when you said you were a bit Marvin.
I love drag racing, nothing beats the sound of a top fuel dragster. I'm not educated to the sport but I love it all. Hotrods the same. My old harley was chopped with flames on the tank and strait racing bars. It was almost identical to Dennis Hopper's in Easy Rider. The fastest Indian with Anthony Hopkins is one of my favourite films. It even has a trans lady in it.
Bikes I know, not cars, I was definitely a biker chick in my day only the beard down to my waist stopped me from being lynched, different days then.
I admire how you've come out Davina, I know what some of these meets can be like. Seriously girl, you're an inspiration.
Cooking is lost on me however, my oven broke about three years ago and since then I've been living on salad.
Peace and love and all that good stuff.
Oh Lordy not more bikies.
Every morning at 5.55am my neighbour fires up his Harley in his driveway next to my bedroom. Why oh why do they all have exhaust systems that sound like a drill hammer inside a metal cavern.
OK grump over, going back to sleep now. ;D
Morning Cindy :)
Ha, my old 52 harley had an old fashioned kick start that if I didn't get it just right would send me flying over the tank. So outside my house you could have added a few more expletives to the soothing purr of a V twin engine alarm call. ;D
Them days is 30 years in the past, i'm a good girl now.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Had another good day, got brows done then did shopping for my parents who have been very poorly with a nasty flu bug. I was really worried for a while, they are in there 80's so this sort of thing is no joke. I arrived at the door and said 'dinner ladie's here' It was good to see them recovering at last. So the past week or so has been mainly tending to their needs and I think i brought us closer together.
I have a challenge for myself this week. There is a bus stop directly outside my house, but when I fist went full time it was too much for me to stand there in front of all the neighbours so I walk to the next stop down. It's not that everyone hasn't seen me, I mean I'm full time just some dum thing I thought was a good idea at the time and it eventually became a habit. So tomorrow I shall ditch that comfort blanket and take back control of my bus stop. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
I should have waited until I read your post before I responded to the one in my thread. I am glad you had a good day. I like your determination to take back your bus stop. I am also glad your parents are doing better. At their ages every illness is a concern. I also worry about my sister here getting sick since she is way way older than I am (a year). With her asthma being compounded into COPD she is on oxygen, uses a nebulizer for on medication and two other inhalers to breathe I worry about her getting a cold or the flu and winding up as one of the statics we hear about on the news. Anytime she isn't feeling well I know it can end in a call to the paramedics and a ride with sirens on to a hospital. The time the paramedics took her to an out of network hospital a mile away because they didn't think she would make it to the in Kaiser hospital 20 miles away was particularly of concern. So yes dear, I understand your concern. It is nice that you feel events have brought you closer to your parents.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on January 17, 2018, 01:00:33 PM
Hi Sadie,
I should have waited until I read your post before I responded to the one in my thread. I am glad you had a good day. I like your determination to take back your bus stop. I am also glad your parents are doing better. At their ages every illness is a concern. I also worry about my sister here getting sick since she is way way older than I am (a year). With her asthma being compounded into COPD she is on oxygen, uses a nebulizer for on medication and two other inhalers to breathe I worry about her getting a cold or the flu and winding up as one of the statics we hear about on the news. Anytime she isn't feeling well I know it can end in a call to the paramedics and a ride with sirens on to a hospital. The time the paramedics took her to an out of network hospital a mile away because they didn't think she would make it to the in Kaiser hospital 20 miles away was particularly of concern. So yes dear, I understand your concern. It is nice that you feel events have brought you closer to your parents.
Hugs,
Laurie
Ha, yes we may have been born trans but I think the telepathic gene skipped us as far as commenting in each other threads goes, there is women's intuition though (cue twilight zone music, the original series not the awful remake)
Yes that darn bus stop has been my Everest for the past year, I mean it's right outside my window taunting me. Well no more dagnabbit, tomorrow I plant my flag made up of nice pale blue, pink and white stripes :)
Look after sis, give her a big hug if you're huggy kind of siblings. I don't really have a relationship with my siblings,
but I do love them and as long as they are safe and happy that's all that matters to me.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Talking bikes have built my youngest junior drag bikes and last year modded an GS 500 into a drag bike , need to take new pic as all the ones I have are stuck in the bucket!!!! Helped him sort his R1 as well.
Take it to the bus stop bus stop ya (Rose Royce?)
Quote from: davina61 on January 17, 2018, 03:12:31 PM
Talking bikes have built my youngest junior drag bikes and last year modded an GS 500 into a drag bike , need to take new pic as all the ones I have are stuck in the bucket!!!! Helped him sort his R1 as well.
Take it to the bus stop bus stop ya (Rose Royce?)
Awesome Davina!
I wouldn't know where to start with drag mods, I mean with my old 52 panhead pensioners would overtake me with their mobility scooters :) 85mph max before the thing started to rattle itself to bits and my internal organs started to rearranged themselves. A ground clearance of about an inch so mini roundabouts were my nemesis, that and pensioners on mobility scooters ;D
Are you modding for nitrous? like I said I enjoy drag racing but know little about the mechanics of it. I always wanted one of those go fast buttons though. Have you ever been down the track? I went down an airstrip in my boss's series series bmw once, a bit scary because he was two sheets close to the wind at the time.
Rose Royce, now that's a blast from the past :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on January 17, 2018, 01:49:28 PM
> Yes that darn bus stop has been my Everest for the past year, I mean it's right outside my window taunting me. Well no more dagnabbit, tomorrow I plant my flag made up of nice pale blue, pink and white stripes :)
Sadie, if you do indeed stand outside the nearest bus stop tomorrow to catch your bus I am there with you. I can identify with how we work so hard to become confident in one or many things, but waiting at the neighborhood bus stop does indeed seem to be a different category. We know how challenging this can be - it is mountain climbing.
Peace and love and strength to you - and go tackle the world, as you are.
Quote from: Kendra on January 18, 2018, 12:25:04 AM
Sadie, if you do indeed stand outside the nearest bus stop tomorrow to catch your bus I am there with you. I can identify with how we work so hard to become confident in one or many things, but waiting at the neighborhood bus stop does indeed seem to be a different category. We know how challenging this can be - it is mountain climbing.
Peace and love and strength to you - and go tackle the world, as you are.
Thanks for the extra oxygen tank Kendra :) I got to second base camp by about midday, the Hillary Step a little while later then made a move for the summit. The flag has been successfully planted that pesky bus stop is mine ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
YAY ! She came! She saw! She conquered!
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on January 18, 2018, 09:14:51 AM
YAY ! She came! She saw! She conquered!
Hugs,
Laurie
Only with the help of everyone here:) Every word of encouragement, every brave story I read, every kind word spoken gets me to where I need to be :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Down the drag strip many times , started in 79 in street car and then late 90s in my pro et Austin winning super series pro et championship in 2000 and runner up in 01. built a sling shot with my chum and drove that but never took a bike down the strip. Did you catch that bus, lasso or spike strip????
Quote from: davina61 on January 18, 2018, 04:16:46 PM
Down the drag strip many times , started in 79 in street car and then late 90s in my pro et Austin winning super series pro et championship in 2000 and runner up in 01. built a sling shot with my chum and drove that but never took a bike down the strip. Did you catch that bus, lasso or spike strip????
Wowsers Davina, seriously you the girl!!! Top speed ever? First time down the track must have been somethin.
I used knicker elastic stretched between two lamp posts, the bus never stood a chance ;D Seriously it was quite a step for me, silly really as I've been full time for year but it meant something.
Peace and love
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Damn right it meant something Sadie. It wasn't just a but stop, it was your nemesis and you defeated it by challenging yourself to overcome your discomfort. You let it beat you for more than a year and now you've won! That is something worth doing. You go girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Shy on January 18, 2018, 08:23:24 AM
Thanks for the extra oxygen tank Kendra :) I got to second base camp by about midday, the Hillary Step a little while later then made a move for the summit. The flag has been successfully planted that pesky bus stop is mine ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Congratulations, Sadie! Another big step out into the world, and another pesky obstacle conquered!
Well done. Well Done!
When I first came out, I think I must have spent a week plotting how I would park my car and sprint across the lot into my therapists office. I probably overthought it, as nobody much gave a damn. ::)
Quote from: Laurie on January 18, 2018, 05:00:12 PM
Damn right it meant something Sadie. It wasn't just a but stop, it was your nemesis and you defeated it by challenging yourself to overcome your discomfort. You let it beat you for more than a year and now you've won! That is something worth doing. You go girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thanks Laurie,
I doubt I'll ever get over my discomfort, the hum of social anxiety through autism will follow me around wherever I go. I am however starting to separate the social challenges of being a trans woman and the anxiety that manifests through Asberger's.
For a while I couldn't and everything got too much, but slowly things are starting to make sense for me. I'm starting to forgive myself for past failings and learning to adjust to the brave new world I find myself in so late in life.
Bit by bit, day by day I'm getting there, wherever there is, that's where I'm headed ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie,
You wonderful brave woman. Well done. That bus stop trip was a biggie.
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 18, 2018, 05:28:56 PM
Congratulations, Sadie! Another big step out into the world, and another pesky obstacle conquered!
Well done. Well Done!
When I first came out, I think I must have spent a week plotting how I would park my car and sprint across the lot into my therapists office. I probably overthought it, as nobody much gave a damn. ::)
Thank you Michelle,
It's strange, I've been full time for a year now, and as soon as I'm 50 yards down the road out of my neighbourhood I completely forget I'm trans and go about my daily business. Sure I get dysphoria from time to time, usually about my height, or if i'm mis gendered, but for the most part i'm happy being Sadie.
I guess I haven't integrated with my local community just yet, It's amazing how invisible I can be and still be full time. Ninja's have nothing on me ;D
So it's slow and steady, I lack confidence socially anyway but slowly i'm beginning to forge the tools I need to navigate this crazy world.
Hope you are well and have a wonderful day:)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Cindy on January 19, 2018, 05:24:48 AM
Sadie,
You wonderful brave woman. Well done. That bus stop trip was a biggie.
Thank you Cindy ;D
If I wasn't such a good girl I'd tag that pesky bus stop with "Sadie woz ere!"
Have an awesome day, whatever you get up to Cindy. And thank you again ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on January 19, 2018, 05:29:41 AM
Thank you Michelle,
It's strange, I've been full time for a year now, and as soon as I'm 50 yards down the road out of my neighbourhood I completely forget I'm trans and go about my daily business. Sure I get dysphoria from time to time, usually about my height, or if i'm mis gendered, but for the most part i'm happy being Sadie.
I guess I haven't integrated with my local community just yet, It's amazing how invisible I can be and still be full time. Ninja's have nothing on me ;D
So it's slow and steady, I lack confidence socially anyway but slowly i'm beginning to forge the tools I need to navigate this crazy world.
Hope you are well and have a wonderful day:)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I totally understand that. I spent several months "almost full time", being myself whenever I was not home or in my home town. I had some trouble in my own head about being myself at the local grocery or gas station, and of course I had spouse problems within my own house that forbade this.
It took me a while. I actually moved towns when I went full time, and it was a couple months before I returned to my old town as myself, for a holiday party I was determined to be 'out' at.
One of the most interesting things about transition are the obstacles that we create for ourselves. Often stuff with no rational reason for being an obstacle gets built into one in our own minds, and it can be hard to get past that. We seem to seize on these things and keep chewing on them, rather than leave them behind and move on with our lives.
The human mind is a very odd thing...
You own that bus stop!!!! As one speedy lady have run best et 11.2 (116 mph?) in the dragster and 11.4 at 120 in my car.
Hi Sadie,
I understand that full time and still having a bit of angst in some situations. One of mine is with my local Bank. They are nice folk there and helpful but I seldom have need to go into it. I want to to see if I can get another authorized user (me) because I doubt the will change the account name until it is legal and who the heck knows when or even if that will happen. I've thought about it for months now but have yet to walk through those doors.
Another is taking my pickup in to get fixed at the dealer so I can get it registered and I am running out of time.
Women's restrooms and dressing rooms are still unknown territory for the most part and therefore off limits.
We hall have our personal challenges. You are no difference and I am happy you have overcome one of yours.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 19, 2018, 02:18:38 PM
One of the most interesting things about transition are the obstacles that we create for ourselves. Often stuff with no rational reason for being an obstacle gets built into one in our own minds, and it can be hard to get past that. We seem to seize on these things and keep chewing on them, rather than leave them behind and move on with our lives.
The human mind is a very odd thing...
It's a bit like navigating uncharted waters for the first time. Eventually we gather the tools needed for safe passage, a map, a compass, a good crew to take up the slack (Thanks Susan's).
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: davina61 on January 20, 2018, 02:24:14 PM
You own that bus stop!!!! As one speedy lady have run best et 11.2 (116 mph?) in the dragster and 11.4 at 120 in my car.
Woooo Davina, :icon_yikes: :icon_yikes: :icon_yikes:
At what stage do your eyeball pop back into your head ;D 11.4/120 just woooooeeeeee!!!
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on January 20, 2018, 02:40:02 PM
Hi Sadie,
I understand that full time and still having a bit of angst in some situations. One of mine is with my local Bank. They are nice folk there and helpful but I seldom have need to go into it. I want to to see if I can get another authorized user (me) because I doubt the will change the account name until it is legal and who the heck knows when or even if that will happen. I've thought about it for months now but have yet to walk through those doors.
Another is taking my pickup in to get fixed at the dealer so I can get it registered and I am running out of time.
Women's restrooms and dressing rooms are still unknown territory for the most part and therefore off limits.
We hall have our personal challenges. You are no difference and I am happy you have overcome one of yours.
Hugs,
Laurie
Good morning Laurie, or is it afternoon or a full solar eclipse that just confuses everybody. Sorry for the tardy reply, I'm still on parental nursing duties. But thankfully they are both starting to recover, slooooowly.
With me the bus stop outside my house was the point of no return, my event horizon, my statement of intent, my threshold to cross.
Because we lack any kind of support for years here in the U.K. we are left with little option but to stand on our own two feet. We risk everything without any kind of care plan in place. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes I feel damaged by it, sometimes it feels like a cull, sometimes I feel empowered by it. Either way it is what it is, Sadie's going nowhere, she's a tough old bird. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
I have some things I could avail myself of support wise but I don't like where they are. I do not know anyone here locally but that may change soon. Other than Tessa.James that is, and she is about 100 miles away. Also the way I have been for the last several months I could not get myself to meet anyone face to face. Susan's is my support system if you discount my appointments at the VA and Christina my electrologist.
Hope things are still looking up for you, Sadie.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on January 23, 2018, 09:04:22 AM
Hi Sadie,
I have some things I could avail myself of support wise but I don't like where they are. I do not know anyone here locally but that may change soon. Other than her Tessa.James that is and she is about 100 miles away. Also the way O have been for the last several months I could not get myself to meet anyone face to face. Suan's is my support system if you discount my appoints at the VA and Christina my electrologist.
Hope things are still looking up for you, Sadie.
Hugs,
Laurie
Things are fine Laurie, I'm much happier just being me. :) I find social situations difficult at the best of times but that has little to do with gender.
I'm actually much more confident just being Sadie.
I guess my main worry is that I don't want to justify my existence to those who knew me before I started to socially transition. But really it's all in my head as it hasn't happened yet. So I worry like anyone worries and that little ant thought becomes a 50ft mutant bug eyed monster that shoots laser beams from its butt and eats trans folk for breakfast.
Seriously, i'm doing good. Women are starting to chat with me when I go into town, people ask me directions which gives me great confidence that i'm fitting right in and am approachable. I haven't quite mastered the women at the clothes stores January sale rail though. Then all bets are of. ;D
I hope you are well, soon be spring girl. The winter burgundy nails will soon be replace with something brighter. I do like spring.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well Sadie, I will admit that you are sounding better and that is nice to see. However if you are just putting on a nice front girl.... well just remember what happen to That Woman what's her name Maggie? Meenie? Mouny yeah I think that's it. Anyway she gave me a bad time and if you'll remember she wound up in a hospital. So you best be telling me the straight story. Ya hear? Keep up the good progress girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Shy on January 17, 2018, 12:42:14 PM
I have a challenge for myself this week. There is a bus stop directly outside my house, but when I fist went full time it was too much for me to stand there in front of all the neighbours so I walk to the next stop down. It's not that everyone hasn't seen me, I mean I'm full time just some dum thing I thought was a good idea at the time and it eventually became a habit. So tomorrow I shall ditch that comfort blanket and take back control of my bus stop. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie
I have been a little busy with other things in my life recently and and have not had much of a chance to catch up with everyone for quite awhile. I have just found this part of your thread and wanted to congradulate you for persisting in what can only be described as a diffuclt challenge especially when you also have other anxieties as well. It is amazing what we can do with some determination and courage.
I have been fulltime for about 9 months now (I think) and I am still finding new challenges and experinces...in fact on Monday I am attending a funeral in a small country town in rural south austrlia who's main exspoure to trans people is the movie "Pricillia Queen of the Desert" so that in itself will be "interesting". But like you and the challenges we all face we mange to get through them and often woinder what the big deal was.
So happy you acomplished this step...another demon beaten
Take care
Liz
Quote from: ElizabethK on January 24, 2018, 12:03:29 AM
Hi Sadie
I have been a little busy with other things in my life recently and and have not had much of a chance to catch up with everyone for quite awhile. I have just found this part of your thread and wanted to congradulate you for persisting in what can only be described as a diffuclt challenge especially when you also have other anxieties as well. It is amazing what we can do with some determination and courage.
I have been fulltime for about 9 months now (I think) and I am still finding new challenges and experinces...in fact on Monday I am attending a funeral in a small country town in rural south austrlia who's main exspoure to trans people is the movie "Pricillia Queen of the Desert" so that in itself will be "interesting". But like you and the challenges we all face we mange to get through them and often woinder what the big deal was.
So happy you acomplished this step...another demon beaten
Take care
Liz
Hi Liz :)
Yes, 'mountains from molehills' is a common phrase here in the U.K. Although sometimes there are mountains to overcome and we have to learn to climb. :)
Sorry to hear about the loss in the family Liz, I have been thinking of you. Big hug from across the pond to you and yours.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
It's been a strange week/year for me, for some reason that seems to be a recurring theme. ;D
This may sound odd to some but for the first time in my life I recognise myself, not just my reflection but also a hint of my place in society, my identity as an individual.
More and more people are engaging with me it seems. Today in town I must have been stopped 4 or 5 times by strangers either asking for directions, commenting on my shoes or nails. I chatted with an elderly man about one of his paintings in the art gallery. Just normal stuff, and it felt normal until the bus driver on the way home called me 'mate'.
My mental image is of Sadie now, and am slowly learning about the things I like and dislike, the places I like to go and the way I want to present to the world. I never felt like I had a choice before, or that it even was a choice, but now I do. These may seem superficial aspirations on the surface but deep down they are hard fought, choices that mean something. I'm laying a foundation and mastering how to put foundation on at the same time ;D.
So I've lived a year as myself 'full time' exposed to the elements of society and my own insecurities. It's been one of the hardest but most profound and humbling experiences of my life. I don't know where I'll be this time next year, maybe my slot for the GC clinic will have come through. Who knows. But for now, this very point in time I am happy just learning to be me in this crazy mixed up world. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Wow Sadie,
You have indeed been making good progress in knowing who you are and what you want. Congrats on that girl and also on the year full time. Accepting yourself for who you are is not an easy thing, or at least it isn't for me. As you know I have a few issues to face yet. But it is with joy that I watch you doing it. I know it hasn't been easy for you to do it either, dear sister, but now I see that you are. ((((hugs))))
Hugs,
Laurie
Sadie you are an inspiration. Your progress, your understanding of what matters, and patience.
Sadie, you're doing great. I think that it really does take a year or more of full time life before ancient parts of the brain catch up to our current self-image, and let us fully see ourselves. This, I think, may be the point where we can honestly start the process of rediscovering who we really are, rather than what some of us pretended to be for a very long time.
Congratulations!
That's the way to do it, I am just waiting for my face to catch up!!! took photo of drag bike to show you but wont download *** technology(insert your own swear word)
Thank you all for the kind words everyone :) I normally like to reply to everyone individually but I'll make this one a big group hug.
I don't know where it came from but for the past few days I've been swamped with all sorts of emotions from anger to guilt to feelings of abandonment. Mostly from my past and mostly triggered by the people I love and of post trauma caused by people that I don't.
My poor Doc. got both barrels when I saw him on Monday for a dodgy knee, bless him. All this stuff I'd been holding back for years just started flowing out and once it started it wouldn't stop. And I thought I was good at hiding stuff from myself, apparently I'm not. I felt wretched afterwards.
I think Michelle had it spot one, I'm now at that tipping point where I can be honest with my situation. This stuff is really painful to expose, but if i'm going to make a future for myself I have to confront my fears, anger, shame or anything negative in my life and let it all go.
I deserve to be happy and have the right to be myself. I'm a tiny dot on a small planet that is a pale blue dot in and infinite universe, I know there is plenty of room for Sadie.
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 28, 2018, 12:17:34 AM
Sadie, you're doing great. I think that it really does take a year or more of full time life before ancient parts of the brain catch up to our current self-image, and let us fully see ourselves. This, I think, may be the point where we can honestly start the process of rediscovering who we really are, rather than what some of us pretended to be for a very long time.
Thank you Michelle that really helped me. :)
So this is the real life experience thread, I'm glad I set up camp here as there is a knowing of shared experience that is often unwritten. Just a simple word a kind gesture a smiley face in the right place means I don't have to do this alone.
Thank you everyone,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on January 30, 2018, 10:35:18 AM
All this stuff I'd been holding back for years just started flowing out and once it started it wouldn't stop. And I thought I was good at hiding stuff from myself, apparently I'm not. I felt wretched afterwards.
I think Michelle had it spot on, I'm now at that tipping point where I can be honest with my situation. This stuff is really painful to expose, but if I'm going to make a future for myself I have to confront my fears, anger, shame or anything negative in my life and let it all go.
I deserve to be happy and have the right to be myself.... I know there is plenty of room for Sadie.
So this is the real life experience thread, I'm glad I set up camp here as there is a knowing of shared experience that is often unwritten. Just a simple word a kind gesture a smiley face in the right place means I don't have to do this alone.
Thank you everyone,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
Hon, were you looking into my head? That first part above Is what happened to me after the problems with my daughter. That hurts a lot but it was the catalyst in the release of all the crap the i had shoved into a dark corner of my mind. All the stuff that I didn't want to face and stuff I only knew subconsciously. I never consciously realized that I hated myself, but it was there. I agree with you that now we have to face those things if we are going to move past them. I also have those fears, anger, and shame that you mention along with self hate and low self esteem issues. So Hun, you are not alone and it is hard to look at those things even when you know about them. I have yet to start work on my issues but I know I have to. Now that I am not consumed with doing away with myself, I might be able to.
You are absolutely right. There is room for Sadie and you do deserve to be happy.
We are glad to have you here with us. You do your part in providing others that support both directly and by sharing your own struggles. I know that your words have help me personally. All of us I think, try to help in our own ways. There is a lot of hurt and pain shared on this site but there is also a lot of successes and compassion this demonstrates that this difficult journey can be made. Those that remain here to encourage us who follow are special people because though they have reached their goal they stay to help me and you and so many others over the bumps and potholes we encounter. They help pull us out of the burning wreckage when we crash.
You my dear have a lot to give too.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on January 30, 2018, 11:30:31 AM
Hi Sadie,
Hon, were you looking into my head? That first part above Is what happened to me after the problems with my daughter. That hurts a lot but it was the catalyst in the release of all the crap the i had shoved into a dark corner of my mind. All the stuff that I didn't want to face and stuff I only knew subconsciously. I never consciously realized that I hated myself, but it was there. I agree with you that now we have to face those things if we are going to move past them. I also have those fears, anger, and shame that you mention along with self hate and low self esteem issues. So Hun, you are not alone and it is hard to look at those things even when you know about them. I have yet to start work on my issues but I know I have to. Now that I am not consumed with doing away with myself, I might be able to.
You are absolutely right. There is room for Sadie and you do deserve to be happy.
We are glad to have you here with us. You do your part in providing others that support both directly and by sharing your own struggles. I know that your words have help me personally. All of us I think, try to help in our own ways. There is a lot of hurt and pain shared on this site but there is also a lot of successes and compassion this demonstrates that this difficult journey can be made. Those that remain here to encourage us who follow are special people because though they have reached their goal they stay to help me and you and so many others over the bumps and potholes we encounter. They help pull us out of the burning wreckage when we crash.
You my dear have a lot to give too.
Hugs,
Laurie
Ha, yes I caught you without your aluminium foil hat on . I haven't worked out a way to penetrate the lead shielding on your truck with my Sadie sense yet but agent Moni says she has the blueprints ;D
Seriously, when you finally find the strength to face your issues don't smash yourself head on into them. 'Become like water' (to quote Bruce Lee) and quietly lap and ripple around them. We have to be gentle with ourselves to find our real strength.
I don't know what I'm capable of achieving, having been a hidden away for so many years I'm just getting to know Sadie like I'm getting to know you all. I do know it's time to stop beating myself up though, just like I wouldn't want to beat anyone else up. I will face my demons with peace and love and all that good stuff :)
You are a diamond Laurie and don't you forget it ;D
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on January 30, 2018, 03:04:44 PM
...
Seriously, when you finally find the strength to face your issues don't smash yourself head on into them. 'Become like water' (to quote Bruce Lee) and quietly lap and ripple around them. We have to be gentle with ourselves to find our real strength.
...
Brilliant! Well said, Sadie!
This may be the most painful place on our journey. In some ways it was for me. Ah, but this is also where we start healing and restoring ourselves, and finally become happy with ourselves.
And Laurie, you got this! "Become like water"
Metta, a form of meditation, may help at this point. No, seriously.
metta meditation (https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/better_than_sex_and_appropriate_for_kids)
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Quote from: Michelle_P on January 30, 2018, 03:32:50 PM
Brilliant! Well said, Sadie!
This may be the most painful place on our journey. In some ways it was for me. Ah, but this is also where we start healing and restoring ourselves, and finally become happy with ourselves.
Yes it seems to be for me, to be honest I was quite side-swiped by the intensity of emotions I've been feeling of late. I feel I'm at a crossroads again much like the feelings I had when I first came out, only much stronger. It's taken me a year to get here, but only this time It's not about being transgender it's about needing to fully transition and the effect that is going to have on the people surrounding me. A year ago all this was alway in the distant future, a bridge I'd cross when I got to it, but now I can see the bridge in the distance.
I conquered another gremlin today that is my local store. I've always worn a hat or a head wrap before in there, until today, as I was insecure about showing my wig. Everywhere else no problem but that store I just felt a little self conscious.
Funny how certain things get caught up in your psyche as you stutter through the early stages of transition, it could also have be autism at play, I don't know, I'm kind of still learning about that too.
Anyway today i'm pleased to say the pesky store got the full Sadie in all her plumage ;D Everyone was really chatty with me:) which normally never happens. I was called love, and dear and folk were very accepting. I'm not sure if I'll ever stop coming out, at least not for a while yet, but i'm getting there one gremlin at a time ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on January 31, 2018, 04:43:23 AM
Yes it seems to be for me, to be honest I was quite side-swiped by the intensity of emotions I've been feeling of late. I feel I'm at a crossroads again much like the feelings I had when I first came out, only much stronger. It's taken me a year to get here, but only this time It's not about being transgender it's about needing to fully transition and the effect that is going to have on the people surrounding me. A year ago all this was alway in the distant future, a bridge I'd cross when I got to it, but now I can see the bridge in the distance.
I conquered another gremlin today that is my local store. I've always worn a hat or a head wrap before in there, until today, as I was insecure about showing my wig. Everywhere else no problem but that store I just felt a little self conscious.
Funny how certain things get caught up in your psyche as you stutter through the early stages of transition, it could also have be autism at play, I don't know, I'm kind of still learning about that too.
Anyway today i'm pleased to say the pesky store got the full Sadie in all her plumage ;D Everyone was really chatty with me:) which normally never happens. I was called love, and dear and folk were very accepting. I'm not sure if I'll ever stop coming out, at least not for a while yet, but i'm getting there one gremlin at a time ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Wow Sadie, you are making strides aren't you? Wonderful! It is lovely to see this happening for you. No, I don't see Sadie going back into hiding again. I think she is demanding her time in the sunlight and in the world. Welcome to the world Sadie. Rejoice in the freedom!
Hugs,
Laurie
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Quote from: Laurie on January 31, 2018, 12:36:55 PM
Wow Sadie, you are making strides aren't you? Wonderful! It is lovely to see this happening for you. No, I don't see Sadie going back into hiding again. I think she is demanding her time in the sunlight and in the world. Welcome to the world Sadie. Rejoice in the freedom!
Hugs,
Laurie
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Thank you Laurie, you've been there with me every step of the way, I can't thank you enough as today turned out to be the official Sadie is going to get GRS day. :icon_dance:
I've just told my family that I want to fully transition and It was O.K. with them ;D The first thing my Mum said was do you want any help changing your name by deedpol, I can't tell you how much that meant to me :) No more awkward moments with bureaucracy and officialdom and the gesture was heartfelt and genuine.
It was the biggest risk I have taken in my life other than initially coming out as trans to them over a year ago. I didn't know how they would react for sure, how can anyone know in these situations. But I found the courage and it's done. I'm finally free of that worry.
Everything is up to me now, It hasn't all quite registered with me yet.
I'm sure I'll wake up tomorrow and panic, I know that, it's going to take time to work through a lot of unresolved issues as I begin to repair the damaged parts of my life.
But not now, now i'm going to eat chocolate, stuff my face with cake and pizza. Just spoil myself like it was my birthday, face plant a pavlova then toast every last one of you who have helped me to where I needed to be. Orange juice of course :D
Thank you all :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Wow. Just.... WOW!
Congratulations, Sadie! I'm so glad your family is supporting you in these huge steps forward.
Oh Sadie!
You are not just taking strides you are leaping along, and I think leaping with joy is coming through in your words.
I 've just woken up, checked Mod Reports and then started checking some posts and yours was the first ...what a great way to welcome the new day a good positive post!
Quote from: Shy on January 31, 2018, 02:05:03 PM
Thank you Laurie, you've been there with me every step of the way, I can't thank you enough as today turned out to be the official Sadie is going to get GRS day. :icon_dance:
I've just told my family that I want to fully transition and It was O.K. with them ;D The first thing my Mum said was do you want any help changing your name by deedpol, I can't tell you how much that meant to me :) No more awkward moments with bureaucracy and officialdom and the gesture was heartfelt and genuine.
It was the biggest risk I have taken in my life other than initially coming out as trans to them over a year ago. I didn't know how they would react for sure, how can anyone know in these situations. But I found the courage and it's done. I'm finally free of that worry.
Everything is up to me now, It hasn't all quite registered with me yet.
I'm sure I'll wake up tomorrow and panic, I know that, it's going to take time to work through a lot of unresolved issues as I begin to repair the damaged parts of my life.
But not now, now i'm going to eat chocolate, stuff my face with cake and pizza. Just spoil myself like it was my birthday, face plant a pavlova then toast every last one of you who have helped me to where I needed to be. Orange juice of course :D
Thank you all :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
That is WONDERFUL news, Sadie. Wonderful! Go ahead and celebrate girl. I can only imagine what having the support of Mum means to you.
Biggest Hugs for you Sadie.
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Hi Sadie
It was so lovely to come here and read of your progress. I can relate to the feelings...it took me awhile but things kept slapping me in the face with their obviousness(if that is a word)...all the doubts and fears have a way of finding there way to the surface wether we like it or not. It is how you go about dealing with these that makes the difference.
I can remember one day of absolute clarity as I went through the "Am I trans enough" doubts. I suddenly saw my life for the first time in context of how much of my life was consumed by my pursuit of transition even though I didn't even know what it was...in the back of my mind there had been that goal and most of the decisions I have made led me to this point.
I had a similar one about GRS which was instigated by someone here asking me a very simple question...the clarity I got from answering it told me all I needed to know to understand that GRS is what I have been always seeking and for such a long time.
Good on you Sadie it always makes me feel great when I see someone make progress like you are...fantastic
Hugs
Liz
Sadie this is such great news - and I can relate to the stress leading to the that conversation. As you have gained strong advocates within your family and especially your mother, your world has just changed. I am so happy for you!
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 31, 2018, 02:14:33 PM
Wow. Just.... WOW!
Congratulations, Sadie! I'm so glad your family is supporting you in these huge steps forward.
Thank you Michelle :)
I remember when I first came to Susan's it was your updates that gave me hope. Thank you for sharing your continuing story with us all :)
Quote from: Cindy on January 31, 2018, 02:28:39 PM
Oh Sadie!
You are not just taking strides you are leaping along, and I think leaping with joy is coming through in your words.
I 've just woken up, checked Mod Reports and then started checking some posts and yours was the first ...what a great way to welcome the new day a good positive post!
Thank you Cindy, it was you who stopped me plummeting down a very dark hole. When I reach out you were there for me with wisdom, courage and a dignity that gave me the strength to move forward. Thank you :)
Quote from: Laurie on January 31, 2018, 04:57:45 PM
That is WONDERFUL news, Sadie. Wonderful! Go ahead and celebrate girl. I can only imagine what having the support of Mum means to you.
Biggest Hugs for you Sadie.
Laurie
You've always been there for me Laurie, from the day I signed up to Susan's all trembling and confused, you were there. This is the wonderful quality of a very special person that I've had the privileged to get to know. We have fun but underneath it all there is a knowing of the struggle we both have that only forges our friendship stronger.
Quote from: ElizabethK on January 31, 2018, 06:46:08 PM
Hi Sadie
It was so lovely to come here and read of your progress. I can relate to the feelings...it took me awhile but things kept slapping me in the face with their obviousness(if that is a word)...all the doubts and fears have a way of finding there way to the surface wether we like it or not. It is how you go about dealing with these that makes the difference.
I can remember one day of absolute clarity as I went through the "Am I trans enough" doubts. I suddenly saw my life for the first time in context of how much of my life was consumed by my pursuit of transition even though I didn't even know what it was...in the back of my mind there had been that goal and most of the decisions I have made led me to this point.
I had a similar one about GRS which was instigated by someone here asking me a very simple question...the clarity I got from answering it told me all I needed to know to understand that GRS is what I have been always seeking and for such a long time.
Good on you Sadie it always makes me feel great when I see someone make progress like you are...fantastic
Hugs
Liz
Liz whenever you pop by to offer support or just say hello I feel safe, this is a special quality. You always know what to say at the right moments and turn up at just the right time. Thank you. :)
Quote from: Kendra on January 31, 2018, 07:20:26 PM
Sadie this is such great news - and I can relate to the stress leading to the that conversation. As you have gained strong advocates within your family and especially your mother, your world has just changed. I am so happy for you!
Kendra your smile lights up the forum with a warmth and joy that is just all encompassing. It's the only evidence I need that we can be ourselves in this world. Thank you :)
Davina I love to read your stories of life in the fast lane, you don't do things by half girl. Your creativity and courage is a joy to behold, and I bet you make the best pies in the U.K. :)
So that's my oscar speech over. I know it's going to be years before my dream is realised but for now that's O.K. I'm already living as myself, I have socially transitioned. I won't be sorry to say goodbye to the physical dysphoria but even that seems a little more manageable now. I am learning patience one day at a time.
Peace and love and all that good stuff
Sadie
Feeling a bit out of sorts today, but o.k. It's been a very emotional few weeks for me so I guess I need to rest up for a while and recharge my batteries. I have a lot to practically think about and plan for, like Michelle said this is where we can honestly start the process of rediscovery. I'm excited and a little apprehensive.
Most of my major stumbling blocks are out of the way now. I'm free to be whoever I want to be for the first time in my life ;D But, and there always seems to be a but, finding that person is going to take some time.
I'm not going to force things, start navel gazing or get bogged down in the mire of introspection, i'm going to do what I feel like, embrace what comes naturally and instinctively and see where it takes me.
I also have to start learning to be honest with myself, not an easy thing to do when you're whole life has been spent hiding behind a mask. I won't say lie, that wouldn't be fair as I have lived a life, some things I'm proud of, others I'm not. I carry my scars, like all of us, they are the signposts of a journey that have lead me to this point, they are my weaknesses, my fears my vulnerabilities. They are part of me and I shall learn to cherish them and forgive each one of them I step forward into the world once more :)
Geez that was heavy, I don't know where all this stuff is coming from, it just keeps bubbling up like 'old faithful' I blame it on country and western music ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Oh Sadie,
Country Music has a lot to answer for. It tugs at our heart strings and makes us reflect on the human condition.
Of course it is the fault of those 'muricanos for bringing it into our lives and making us so sad.
I always have a cry at this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4ilEIypWbo
Ha, thats Glasgow and western Cindy, I think you are confusing the two.
No puppy dogs ever get lost in Glasgow ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on February 02, 2018, 04:25:59 AM
> I'm free to be whoever I want to be for the first time in my life
Sadie these words are massive - so significant, and such an achievement for you to state it this way. Girl you own it!
My dear Sadie,
Did hell freeze over? Is the apocalypse coming? Here you are having the reality of being free to be yourself and we both are talking about being honest, not only with others but more importantly to ourselves. Surely the world is coming to an end or some as cataclysmic is about to occur. For you Hon, it's wonderful. And wonderful to see the changes occurring in you. I love seeing the progress you are making, from the time I first started hanging around these part and now with your return to us. I will admit you had me concerned for awhile there girl and I missed your being here. But you come back better prepared to face your future. You are doing that now with gusto. Keep walking down your path and soon you will see the goal in the distance and know that you can reach it.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Kendra on February 02, 2018, 09:47:12 AM
Sadie these words are massive - so significant, and such an achievement for you to state it this way. Girl you own it!
Thank you Kendra. The words are just an expression of where I've arrived in my journey. I do have trust issues to repair before I can embrace them fully, some post trauma that needs some loving. But they are positive words that I have risked all for, so I accept your encouragement with the innocence of a new born. Lets call this day 01 in Sadie's salon.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on February 02, 2018, 10:04:16 AM
My dear Sadie,
Did hell freeze over? Is the apocalypse coming? Here you are having the reality of being free to be yourself and we both are talking about being honest, not only with others but more importantly to ourselves. Surely the world is coming to an end or some as cataclysmic is about to occur. For you Hon, it's wonderful. And wonderful to see the changes occurring in you. I love seeing the progress you are making, from the time I first started hanging around these part and now with your return to us. I will admit you had me concerned for awhile there girl and I missed your being here. But you come back better prepared to face your future. You are doing that now with gusto. Keep walking down your path and soon you will see the goal in the distance and know that you can reach it.
Hugs,
Laurie
Yes I think hell did freeze over for a while but I put the heating on, and I thought we had the apocalypse in 2012, which I must say was not all it was cracked up to be.
I went AWOL because of the autism diagnosis, it nearly broke me to be honest. I was just beginning to come out of myself when the letter popped through my door telling me 'you're not feeling like this because of that, it was this other thing all along, sorry for waiting 58 years to tell you. So I had to do the responsible thing and try to separate autism from being trans. Turns out i'm both, i'm autranstastic and it doesn't matter anyway because i'm just me.;D Cindy taught me that:)
Enough about me anyways I want to know all about you. I must say that recent photo you posted I hardly recognised you. There was a confidence in the smile I had never seen before, and may I say the HRT looks good on you girl.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Need to take my fingers out of my ears, turn that country music off its hard to type with you tongue. Go with the flow love and see where it takes you, you never know it might be a nice place . I usually find thinks turn out right even if it looks wrong or bad at first
Quote from: davina61 on February 02, 2018, 03:35:51 PM
Need to take my fingers out of my ears, turn that country music off its hard to type with you tongue. Go with the flow love and see where it takes you, you never know it might be a nice place . I usually find thinks turn out right even if it looks wrong or bad at first
Ha, don't worry Davina, the country and westerns isn't coming from me, I think it's been blaring out from Lorries truck when she stops for her breakfast. ;D
You're right of course, life is for living. I haven't found myself in many nice places as i've bungled my way through this world, but nothing says that can't change :).
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on February 03, 2018, 11:00:30 AM
Ha, don't worry Davina, the country and westerns isn't coming from me, I think it's been blaring out from Lorries truck
Sadie
Omg Sadie you do know me don't you? I listen mostly to C&W these days but I down like my hard rock of yesteryear. Heck, you know when you are getting older when the "oldies" on the radio are from the 80s and 90s. And I sure as heck do not care for that (c)rap style stuff or most of the garbage on the radio these days. I cannot agree with the filthy lyrics and songs performed by woman that believe dressing like a cheap hooker and gyrating on stage is a good role model for our children, but then their parent can't see what is wrong with it at all.
The 3 genre you'll hear coming from the Lauriemobile is classical instrumentals Beethoven and Tchaikovsky are a couple I like. So acid/hard rock, C&W, and Classical sounds like a great combination to me.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on February 03, 2018, 01:32:05 PM
The 3 genre you'll hear coming from the Lauriemobile is classical instrumentals Beethoven and Tchaikovsky are a couple I like. So acid/hard rock, C&W, and Classical sounds like a great combination to me.
Ha, I was thinking Wagner's "Flight of the Valkyries" with a two-step twist. ;D
Gave my old iMac a dead name clear out today. Everything has been Sadiefied from new email addresses to user accounts, forums to fitness apps. I think I've done a proper clean sweep, but I know something will pop up that I've forgotten.
I don't know why I didn't do it sooner, it was just know that when I go anywhere near technology it has a funny way of not working anymore. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on February 04, 2018, 03:44:43 PM
Ha, I was thinking Wagner's "Flight of the Valkyries" with a two-step twist. ;D
Gave my old iMac a dead name clear out today. Everything has been Sadiefied from new email addresses to user accounts, forums to fitness apps. I think I've done a proper clean sweep, but I know something will pop up that I've forgotten.
I don't know why I didn't do it sooner, it was just know that when I go anywhere near technology it has a funny way of not working anymore. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Good for you, Sadie. Yes, why didn't you do it sooner?
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Shy on February 02, 2018, 04:25:59 AM
I'm free to be whoever I want to be for the first time in my life ;D But, and there always seems to be a but, finding that person is going to take some time.
Finally being able to be who are is such a liberating feeling..knowing who you are will come now that you are able to feely express yourself without restriction. It time to try a few things out and I am sure you will find your "groove" easily.
Hugs
Liz
Quote from: Laurie on February 04, 2018, 11:56:33 PM
Good for you, Sadie. Yes, why didn't you do it sooner?
I'm just one of those people who needs to take time over things. When I'm ready, and I've done the groundwork, I usually snap into action :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff
Sadie
Quote from: ElizabethK on February 06, 2018, 07:26:20 PM
Finally being able to be who are is such a liberating feeling..knowing who you are will come now that you are able to feely express yourself without restriction. It time to try a few things out and I am sure you will find your "groove" easily.
It's going to take some time Liz, but each day I seem to uncover another hidden part of me that was abandoned in my endless struggle to try and fit in.
I'm free to be me now though, what that means I'm not sure yet. I guess it's just a matter of breaking old habits and recognising the clever tricks I used to disguise my identity from the world. I've been doing it from the moment I was old enough to recognise shame and the gnawing teeth of social injustice.
So the more I discover myself the stronger I get, like you all know none of this comes easy, self-esteem takes time to build and that can only come as I experience more of the world as myself.
Hope you are well, Liz
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on February 07, 2018, 04:18:46 AM
It's going to take some time Liz, but each day I seem to uncover another hidden part of me that was abandoned in my endless struggle to try and fit in.
I'm free to be me now though, what that means I'm not sure yet. I guess it's just a matter of breaking old habits and recognising the clever tricks I used to disguise my identity from the world. I've been doing it from the moment I was old enough to recognise shame and the gnawing teeth of social injustice.
So the more I discover myself the stronger I get, like you all know none of this comes easy, self-esteem takes time to build and that can only come as I experience more of the world as myself.
Hope you are well, Liz
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I'm not Liz, but yes, Sadie, this process goes on for quite a while. I'm almost two years out, on HRT over a year and a half, and four months post-op. I'm still discovering things about myself every day.
I had a therapy session yesterday, and even there, more self-discovery! I continue to learn more about myself, my relationships with others, the depths and breadths of the human experience.
There are worlds locked away inside each of us, awaiting our finding the key to unlock them and the strength to explore them.
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 08, 2018, 01:17:48 PM
I'm not Liz, but yes, Sadie, this process goes on for quite a while. I'm almost two years out, on HRT over a year and a half, and four months post-op. I'm still discovering things about myself every day.
I had a therapy session yesterday, and even there, more self-discovery! I continue to learn more about myself, my relationships with others, the depths and breadths of the human experience.
There are worlds locked away inside each of us, awaiting our finding the key to unlock them and the strength to explore them.
Thanks Michelle :)
I want to transition now, or should I say need to transition for my own well being and safety. A month or so ago I couldn't say that with conviction. I knew in my head that was the best thing for me, just needed my heart to say it was o.k. And it is :) I'm taking back control and responsibility for my life for the first time in, well I guess.....ever? So it's all quite strange.
Most of my worries for the next few year will be out of my hands. Until I have official conformation that HRT followed by surgery will be available for me here in the U.K. I just have to trust that things will work out o.k. I've got this far on my own so I hope the offer of treatment will just be a formality, I just don't know. It may be a few years wait to find out, again I don't know about that either.
In the mean time I can officially change my name, work on my voice and just get out into the world as myself.
I'd like to sign up for a pottery class, I need to make contact with the local autistic society and maybe get a little pro active there. I'm a graphic designer so I'm sure they can use my skillset. So lots of stuff to be getting on with.
It's amazing how much all of you have helped me, just by sharing your lives with such honesty. It's going to be o.k. I'm in a much better place now than I have ever been, not an easy place by any stretch, but definitely a better place.
Hope you are well and Laurie hasn't eaten all of your quinoa ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Before I became full-time I visited a salon for the first time, since I live in a small town I traveled to a larger town... it was indeed a scary endeavor to get my eyebrows, nails and hair done... I found the staff to be very helpful and not judgemental even though it should have been obvious to them that I was not a cis woman. I found it "almost" as scary as going for a mammogram that my doctor suggested to just get a benchmark on record.
Since then I have been to other salons, local ones, to get stuff done and to get waxed... the pain was not that bad, even the stomach and bikini wax... because I have not had bottom surgery I felt quite a bit of trepidation but the gal that did the waxing never blinked an eye as I winced everytime she pulled the wax strips off.
My feeling is that the salons, any salon wants our business no matter who we are. I enjoyed getting pampered... men are missing out on one of life's pleasures.
Hi Sadie,
No I didn't eat up all of Michelle's quinoa. It wasn't bad at all for an introduction to it. Michelle used a recipe that Jessica suggested with roasted Brussel sprouts and onions vinaigrette type sauce. I never cared for Brussel sprouts and hadn't had any in decades. All in all it was pretty good.
It's a shame you girls have such long waits for any Transgender services there but I am pleased to see you will be moving ahead with the things you can do.
Keep up the progress Hun.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Aspiringperson on February 08, 2018, 03:52:45 PM
Before I became full-time I visited a salon for the first time, since I live in a small town I traveled to a larger town... it was indeed a scary endeavor to get my eyebrows, nails and hair done... I found the staff to be very helpful and not judgemental even though it should have been obvious to them that I was not a cis woman. I found it "almost" as scary as going for a mammogram that my doctor suggested to just get a benchmark on record.
Since then I have been to other salons, local ones, to get stuff done and to get waxed... the pain was not that bad, even the stomach and bikini wax... because I have not had bottom surgery I felt quite a bit of trepidation but the gal that did the waxing never blinked an eye as I winced everytime she pulled the wax strips off.
My feeling is that the salons, any salon wants our business no matter who we are. I enjoyed getting pampered... men are missing out on one of life's pleasures.
I've found the same, have no issues with salons now as long as they deliver a good service. You have to be savvy and shop around a bit until you find your go to.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on February 08, 2018, 04:08:17 PM
Hi Sadie,
No I didn't eat up all of Michelle's quinoa. It wasn't bad at all for an introduction to it. Michelle used a recipe that Jessica suggested with roasted Brussel sprouts and onions vinaigrette type sauce. I never cared for Brussel sprouts and hadn't had any in decades. All in all it was pretty good.
It's a shame you girls have such long waits for any Transgender services there but I am pleased to see you will be moving ahead with the things you can do.
Keep up the progress Hun.
Hugs,
Laurie
I fall in and out of struggling with the long wait to maybe it's been the best thing for me. I doubt I'll need too much therapy as I'm already over most of the big hurdles. I've socially transitioned and am learning patience in the process.
My big worry is the not knowing what treatment will be offered me, or if indeed any treatment is offered me, it's the not knowing that is stressful.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on February 09, 2018, 04:22:22 AM
I fall in and out of struggling with the long wait to maybe it's been the best thing for me. I doubt I'll need too much therapy as I'm already over most of the big hurdles. I've socially transitioned and am learning patience in the process.
My big worry is the not knowing what treatment will be offered me, or if indeed any treatment is offered me, it's the not knowing that is stressful.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Yes Hun,
The waaaiting is the haaardest part. But you can do it.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on February 09, 2018, 11:13:21 AM
Yes Hun,
The waaaiting is the haaardest part. But you can do it.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thanks Laurie,
It's all good, I treasure our health system and can accept that they are completely overstretched at the gender clinics. I worry that's all, but that's just me. Dysphoria can get to me sometimes and settles like a dense fog that is hard to see through, so I type away here sounding off my foghorn in the hope that someone is listening :) And of course you are ;D
I'm sure it's all going to be o.k. In the meantime I have a life to get on with, I know I can do it because I already am. ;D
Hope you're having fun on your travels and not getting up to too much mischief.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Note to self....Don't get nipple caught in epilator :o :o :o
Off for a proper bra fitting today and I'm terrified being pre HRT. But needs must and this must is a need as spring is coming, so off out the door I go ;D. I'm sure it will be fine as every other step I've taken has been fine, but it seems like a moment.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well turns out I'm officially a 38 AA U.K. size.
I really had nothing to be worried about after all, even though I was initially terrified, I won't sweet coat it.
The assistant was wonderful, she treated me like the woman I am. She knew exactly what to do and say to make me feel a little more complete and accepted.
So no more guess work for me ordering stuff and hoping it fits. Yay :)
Finished the trip by treating myself to a nice wine red blouse and some garnet earrings to match.
Next week will be all about new peepers. The one's I have are unisex but I'd like something a little more feminine. Happy days ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on February 10, 2018, 08:29:06 AM
Well turns out I'm officially a 38 AA U.K. size.
I really had nothing to be worried about after all, even though I was initially terrified, I won't sweet coat it.
The assistant was wonderful, she treated me like the woman I am. She knew exactly what to do and say to make me feel a little more complete and accepted.
So no more guess work for me ordering stuff and hoping it fits. Yay :)
Finished the trip by treating myself to a nice wine red blouse and some garnet earrings to match.
Next week will be all about new peepers. The one's I have are unisex but I'd like something a little more feminine. Happy days ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
Changes changes changes! You go girl. Make that wait time count. I am so proud of you and Davina Marching ahead with what you want.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
snipped:
Quote from: Shy on February 10, 2018, 08:29:06 AM
Well turns out I'm officially a 38 AA U.K. size.
I really had nothing to be worried about after all, even though I was initially terrified, I won't sweet coat it.
The assistant was wonderful, she treated me like the woman I am. She knew exactly what to do and say to make me feel a little more complete and accepted.
So no more guess work for me ordering stuff and hoping it fits. Yay :)
Sadie
Congrats to you
Sadie for taking some brave actions... yes, a bra fitting, a salon visit, breast exam... all of this can be very, very nerve-wracking for us as we transition. As time goes on and you have conquered more and more of your fears, it WILL come easier. Again, congratulations, and now that you know your bra size that is not the end of the story, different bras from the same manufacturer, different brands, different styles, etc.... it is not consistent so in most cases they need to be tried on in the store to prevent frequent trial and error returns to the store.
left right left right quick march, have been lucky getting bras blind (had an idea from the wifes!!!) 40 c with the falsies but almost (come on patches) a cup without .
Been a busy few days for me. Went to the local TG group for a chat, catchup and tea and biscuits. Took a train to Bath Spa in search of a birthday pressie for my sister but failed to find anything as I kept getting distracted by all the shiny things in the jewellery stores that I could never afford. Spent some time watching a busker playing the violin on a high wire and watched some glass blowing.
Off to London next weekend to see some of the Harry Potter film sets with my family. It's present to my mum who in her 80's and loves all of the fantasy stuff. Hopefully when I get there Dumbledor can magic me up a new wig as mine is starting to look a bit tired. Would like a different style anyway just to confuse the neighbours and probably myself ;D
The bra's I purchased have worked out well, comfy, I just wish I had something to fill them with as they come with a healthy dose of dysmorphia. But the little I have is all mine and looks natural, it's just nice to feel dressed in the appropriate places, that helps.
Hope everyone is well,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
Continuing to get out and about. Good on you girl. And we needs much be nice to our Mums as long as they have been good mothers that is. They have done much for us and we owe them gratitude and love to mirror the love they gave to us. And yes Hun it is also good to be wearing our proper clothes. I wore the 3 skirts and a dress while I visited with Michelle and Jessica. That's more than I have done at home.
Keep being girly, girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on February 13, 2018, 12:12:12 AM
Hi Sadie,
Continuing to get out and about. Good on you girl. And we needs much be nice to our Mums as long as they have been good mothers that is. They have done much for us and we owe them gratitude and love to mirror the love they gave to us. And yes Hun it is also good to be wearing our proper clothes. I wore the 3 skirts and a dress while I visited with Michelle and Jessica. That's more than I have done at home.
Keep being girly, girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Now you girl are doing just awesome :) I've never worn a dress in public, being tall I can't find one that fits and the few that I have managed to find just don't hang right. Skirts are o.k. but really I'm happiest in leggings. I seem to pass o.k. I can't believe the change in you from you're recent photos, seriously you look amazing. :)
Hope your sis is doing o.k.
Now you girl are doing
Spent this evening bagging up my old clothes for the charity shop. Also went through old birthday and Christmas cards that I had saved and ditched all of the brother and son ones. To be honest I thought it may be difficult to trudge through old memories, but really I just got on with what needed to be done and felt pretty indifferent to it all. I'm not sure if it's a milestone, but it needed to be done.
Had one of those horrible misgenders at the checkout earlier. It was one of those 'hello Sir' quickly followed by 'I mean Mam' stutter......stutter...... It doesn't happen often to me these days but when it does it's usually this kind of confused awkwardness as the poor things try to work out where I fit in with their world view. It is what it is though, so I just filter it out and get on with my day.
Brought some bright raspberry lipstick today in preparation for spring, and some subtle blush for my cheeks to break up the foundation a little. I usually take the 'less is more' approach to makeup. A year ago I wouldn't have had the confidence to carry off bright colours, but now I do. Not for every day, just for those days when I feel like a little boost.
Mood wise I'm just in one of those "getting things done" modes. Not happy, not sad just focused on the job in hand. I'm building a little nest for myself really in preparation for the gender clinic and beyond. Saving money for the hidden costs that I'm sure will arise post surgery, starting to think about an official name change. I dare to say being responsible, I think that's a word ;D Having never felt the need to use it too much before it's a strange concept for me :D.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
I bagged up most of my old clothes that I hadn't already given away and some of my girl clothes that were ordering mistakes. And had my sister put them out for the ARC pickup the day after I left for Michelle's. I have a couple things left that I will probably never wear again like a red plaid shirt, a plaid jacket and a leather coat. A couple belts. I think that's it.
I too proscribe the less is more look and frequently use only eyebrow pencil and mascara so my brows match my wig and so my lashes can be seen. You like adding a bit of brighter colors to your makeup and it does make a difference. One of the thing I like now is the choice to be a little dressy when it suits my mood to do so. Yesterday for my last speech therapy appointment I felt like looking nice for it so I donned my new top a dark background floral skirt, low heeled pumps. My new to me bracelets and necklace, dangle earrings, put on my face with a little more mascara a bit more noticeable eye shadow and some brighter pink lipstick. I got three "you look very nice today". I felt like I looked nice and it garnered me compliments too. I love that I now have choices of what to wear as it fits my moods. Don't you?
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on February 15, 2018, 08:26:01 PM
I too proscribe the less is more look and frequently use only eyebrow pencil and mascara so my brows match my wig and so my lashes can be seen. You like adding a bit of brighter colors to your makeup and it does make a difference. One of the thing I like now is the choice to be a little dressy when it suits my mood to do so. Yesterday for my last speech therapy appointment I felt like looking nice for it so I donned my new top a dark background floral skirt, low heeled pumps. My new to me bracelets and necklace, dangle earrings, put on my face with a little more mascara a bit more noticeable eye shadow and some brighter pink lipstick. I got three "you look very nice today". I felt like I looked nice and it garnered me compliments too. I love that I now have choices of what to wear as it fits my moods. Don't you?
Yes, choice is a wonderful thing ;D From a lifetime of not paying any attention to my appearance to all of a sudden having the freedom to openly express myself is very liberating.
I think when you look nice the confidence rises and people notice in a good way :)
Have a lovely day Laurie, what ever you get up to,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
It's been a day of more clearing out today. Mainly a lot of masculine clutter and also purchased some new pictures to hang on the walls.
Had a nice chat with one of my neighbours for the first time since I went full time. It all went fine, we just talked as we used to talk. Not a mention of how I was dressed. The strange thing he was one of the people I thought I'd have issues with, turns out the issues were all in my own head. Never judge a book by it's cover, but hindsight is a wonderful thing, I guess it could have gone either way and you have to be prepared.
Filled out my first family birthday card and signed off as Sadie today, I must admit I am slightly apprehensive of the response, but I'm sure it will be fine. I will apply for my official name change on my birthday in a few months. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
Isn't it funny how so many of our fears are in our own heads and seldom materialize in the light of day? Oh some do, no doubt, but that vast majority of them are not the overwhelming monsters we envision them to be. Like you I have many of my own that will continue to plague me, but we are getting better at dealing with them. It is those few, that do come to pass, that keep us living in fear that others might do the same. But even those we should be able to learn from if we can but get past the trauma they have caused us.
You, Hun, are doing that and making long strides with it. You go girl. Just keep moving in that forward direction and you will be fine. Head up, shoulders back, and walk on proud of who you are.
Hugs,
Laurie
For the first time yesterday some of my family members started to call me Sadie. They were obviously uncomfortable with it but at least they reached out. It also felt strange for me, and to be honest I felt a little guilty for putting them In such a situation. I also found myself grieving my old life a little as some of the good memories I've had with them came flooding back.
So feeling a bit disjointed today. It seems like I reach one milestone only to be confronted with ten more waiting in the wings. I knew transitioning was never a straight path but wasn't really prepared for how winding the road could get.
It's all good though, one thing I've learned is not to muse too much over 'what if's' It's not healthy and serves no purpose other than to feed the squirrels.
Chest dysphoria is bad today, the bra helps a little but I am so ready for HRT.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on February 19, 2018, 04:09:42 AM
For the first time yesterday some of my family members started to call me Sadie. They were obviously uncomfortable with it but at least they reached out. It also felt strange for me, and to be honest I felt a little guilty for putting them In such a situation. I also found myself grieving my old life a little as some of the good memories I've had with them came flooding back.
So feeling a bit disjointed today. It seems like I reach one milestone only to be confronted with ten more waiting in the wings. I knew transitioning was never a straight path but wasn't really prepared for how winding the road could get.
It's all good though, one thing I've learned is not to muse too much over 'what if's' It's not healthy and serves no purpose other than to feed the squirrels.
Chest dysphoria is bad today, the bra helps a little but I am so ready for HRT.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
The funny thing about milestones is that you pass them and forget.
It is one of those conundrums, when you are going to a place you look for the milestones to see how far you have to go. When you get there you look back and think where was that last one?
Good memories are better than the alternative - bad memories. As for the bad memories... learn from them, change things that can be changed and remember to shut the door when you move on.
The way I look at it, many of the positive things I experienced in the past can't be experienced again so I'll just have to go collect some awesome new good memories.
Quote from: Cindy on February 19, 2018, 04:29:36 AM
The funny thing about milestones is that you pass them and forget.
It is one of those conundrums, when you are going to a place you look for the milestones to see how far you have to go. When you get there you look back and think where was that last one?
That's is, what you just said Cindy :) Now what was it that I was discombobulated over? Any more milestones and I'm going to invest in a GPS ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Kendra on February 19, 2018, 01:46:03 PM
Good memories are better than the alternative - bad memories. As for the bad memories... learn from them, change things that can be changed and remember to shut the door when you move on.
The way I look at it, many of the positive things I experienced in the past can't be experienced again so I'll just have to go collect some awesome new good memories.
Thanks Kendra,
I haven't had an easy life like many of us here, so today is all about getting prepared for tomorrow and tomorrow will be in preparation for the day after that.
I'm not hiding away anymore, so if society gives me a chance I think I could make a small difference somewhere.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Had the gas man around this evening for a safety check. It's the first time I've had someone in my house presenting as myself. I was nervous for the knock on the door but in reality it was all fine and so was the boiler :)
So nothing amazingly exciting to post other than dealing with real life issues one day at a time. I think the small things matter though.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on February 22, 2018, 02:53:09 PM
Had the gas man around this evening for a safety check. It's the first time I've had someone in my house presenting as myself. I was nervous for the knock on the door but in reality it was all fine and so was the boiler :)
So nothing amazingly exciting to post other than dealing with real life issues one day at a time. I think the small things matter though.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
@ Sadie: that is good about the gas safety check being OK... and even better about having a guest in your home presenting as yourself.... one step at a time... baby steps first then the bigger ones!!!! Be positive and have confidence. Glad to hear the good report.
Aspiringperson
Quote from: Aspiringperson on February 22, 2018, 03:02:52 PM
@ Sadie: that is good about the gas safety check being OK... and even better about having a guest in your home presenting as yourself.... one step at a time... baby steps first then the bigger ones!!!! Be positive and have confidence. Glad to hear the good report.
Aspiringperson
Thanks for the support Aspiringperson :)
I'm very much a baby steps kind of girl ;D although most of the big stuff is behind me now it seems.
I've been full time for nearly a year now but still struggle with certain social situations, but a lot of that isn't gender related. Also I'm finding my way as a woman in this world, it's going to take some adjusting for sure but way less jarring than the hiding away I've done for all these years.
My next big steps will all be about a physical transformation, but that is a while off yet with the waiting times for the U.K. Clinics being what they are. Hopefully by the end of this year I'll get seen, I just don't know.
I don't really mind though, the dysphoria is manageable most days as long as I don't fixate on it and follow a few set rules, I get by. I'm already living as myself so yeh, things are starting to come together.
I hope you are well,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well it's been a strange week for me. I'm still getting used to my family calling me Sadie swiftly followed by all the apologies when they don't. So I've got a bit of an identity crisis going on just now but I'm sure things will settle over time. ;D
Been snowed in for the passed few days so going stir crazy. At least its given me a chance to finish up some work on the house I've been meaning to do, but I could do without the -10 windchill. Not skirt weather for sure.
Had a meeting with my regular therapist the other day which went well. I've been at a stable depression/anxiety level for a good few months now which is good for me. So I'll take that as a positive and live for today which as of this moment involves designing some shirts for my local running club.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on March 02, 2018, 04:10:17 AM
Well it's been a strange week for me. I'm still getting used to my family calling me Sadie swiftly followed by all the apologies when they don't. So I've got a bit of an identity crisis going on just now but I'm sure things will settle over time. ;D
Been snowed in for the passed few days so going stir crazy. At least its given me a chance to finish up some work on the house I've been meaning to do, but I could do without the -10 windchill. Not skirt weather for sure.
Had a meeting with my regular therapist the other day which went well. I've been at a stable depression/anxiety level for a good few months now which is good for me. So I'll take that as a positive and live for today which as of this moment involves designing some shirts for my local running club.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
It's great that your family is accepting you for who you are. They are trying to get the name right and that is worth something, Hun. I know all about that having to get used to hearing our own names. It's strange and different than us using it online. It is what we want others to say but we have to work at accepting it as our names.
You are doing good girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on March 02, 2018, 05:14:41 AM
Hi Sadie,
It's great that your family is accepting you for who you are. They are trying to get the name right and that is worth something, Hun. I know all about that having to get used to hearing our own names. It's strange and different than us using it online. It is what we want others to say but we have to work at accepting it as our names.
You are doing good girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Like most families it's complicated Laurie.
On the plus side my immediate neighbours just dropped around with a food parcel and to check that I was doing o.k. in the cold weather conditions. I think it was an olive branch as we'd kind of been avoiding each other since I went full time. So there was no uncomfortable conversation, just a nice basket of goodies ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie! So much good news - this is great! No open hostilities, people making good efforts. You are a kind person and people around you are reciprocating in positive ways.
See my theory is that 90 + % of folk are fine its just the odd idiot that causes all the trouble in the world
Quote from: Kendra on March 02, 2018, 02:19:04 PM
Sadie! So much good news - this is great! No open hostilities, people making good efforts. You are a kind person and people around you are reciprocating in positive ways.
Thank you Kendra.
I'm still on a self-esteem building mission but little events like this help a bunch, as do your kind words.
Hope you are recovering well :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: davina61 on March 02, 2018, 02:59:07 PM
See my theory is that 90 + % of folk are fine its just the odd idiot that causes all the trouble in the world
Wise words Davina, you are right of course. I try not to give said idiots a platform these days.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well another week over and another week closer to the Gender Clinic and hopefully some sort of way forward.
Yes, I'm kind of in limbo land, but it's o.k. I can think of a lot worse places to be in this world.
I've had a lot of migraines for the past few weeks, which is new. I've never suffered from headaches so I think a trip to the docs is in order.
I'm probably over stressed but don't realise it. I'm sure autism has something to do with it as the thing with autism is that everything is turned up to eleven....all of the time :o. It's my natural state to feel discombobulated. Add trying to process gender issues on top and things can get overwhelming. Truth be told though I wouldn't have it any other way. It's who I am and what makes me.... me. I think I do alright ;D
Had a nice visit to the brow bar this week, for the first time I was charged female rates ;D I think they've finally cottoned on, with a little persistence on my part, that trans women 'are' women. A small victory, but these little victories all add up. It's nice just to feel normal and out of the spotlight for a change.
Off to the local TG group tonight. Again I do struggle with social situations if a lot of people are talking at once, I get overwhelmed quite easily. But I do enjoy meeting my people for the most part even if it is uncomfortable at times.
So that's it, where I'm at this week. Making progress in a few areas and struggling a little in others, but mostly I'm just living and getting on with my life. Mothers day tomorrow, I'll make sure it's a special time for her, but only this time the card will be from her daughter. :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
@ shy: So sorry to hear about your personally difficult trials and tribulations ... and your happy moments too, revealed in your last posting. Hang in there girl... no one said that transitioning is all fun.... it is exciting for sure, it has it's successful moments and moments of frustrations and disappointments too... but when you finally get near your goals, it is so rewarding and well worth the effort... no pain, no gain they say.
Susan's is such a nice place to be able to share about your journey. Here you can find support but also you have good things to offer to others as well.
Looking forward to your continuing updates.
Wishing you well,
Danielle ... formerly Aspiringperson
Good to see you hanging in there Sadie. I know some of the activities are hard for you, but dog gone it you stick to them until they get better. I've seen you do it girl and I"m ptoud of you. From the pits of despair we can find our way back into the light. My days are getting brighter too. This little road trip I am on is helping with every person I visit.
Look for the light, Sadie. It's there to find.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 10, 2018, 12:40:06 PM
@ shy: So sorry to hear about your personally difficult trials and tribulations ... and your happy moments too, revealed in your last posting. Hang in there girl... no one said that transitioning is all fun.... it is exciting for sure, it has it's successful moments and moments of frustrations and disappointments too... but when you finally get near your goals, it is so rewarding and well worth the effort... no pain, no gain they say.
Thanks for stopping by Danielle :)
I'm actually doing o.k. barring the headaches. Had a nice night out with the ladies at the TG group last night. ;D
I've gone from being isolated for thirty years, to full time a year ago to meeting new people and finding my place in the world again. Phew. I also did this on my own, there is no support for us trans folk in the U.K. for years. In a way I'm kind of glad as I've developed a resilience I never thought I had.
I was only diagnosed autistic recently, quite late in life, so it's been quite a lot to take in but I'm slowly getting comfortable with the idea that I experience the world in a slightly different way than most.
I'm quite normal though, most would never know unless I make it known, but make it known I shall. I'm done with all the hiding, Cindy taught me that :) Maybe it will help others in a similar situation if I can share my transition as an autistic lady.
Social stigma is a powerful thing, and I have experienced it from a TG and recently an autistic perspective. So this is me doing my bit, It really helps you popping by and saying hello with words of encouragement. Seriously it means a lot to be able to share untethered and candidly about my life. :D
I hope you are well and all is good in Alaska and the bears are behaving :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on March 10, 2018, 09:34:42 PM
Good to see you hanging in there Sadie. I know some of the activities are hard for you, but dog gone it you stick to them until they get better. I've seen you do it girl and I"m ptoud of you. From the pits of despair we can find our way back into the light. My days are getting brighter too. This little road trip I am on is helping with every person I visit.
Look for the light, Sadie. It's there to find.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Thanks Laurie :)
Yup, were tough old birds ;D And you know what I wouldn't have it any other way. When we struggle we learn empathy and the ability to reach out to others in similar situations. You my dear have been a rock to me :) :)
Good to see you bouncing back Laurie, I know depression, so I know where you've been. Spring is on it's way girl so don't forget to stop to smell the flowers and listen to the birds chatter, just don't feed the squirrels ;D. Life is for living so lets get on with just that :) Have an awesome road trip and recharge those batteries, Sadies orders or I'll mention the 'M' word, just incase you thought I'd forgotten ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on March 11, 2018, 06:24:51 AM
Thanks Laurie :)
Yup, were tough old birds ;D And you know what I wouldn't have it any other way. When we struggle we learn empathy and the ability to reach out to others in similar situations. You my dear have been a rock to me :) :)
Good to see you bouncing back Laurie, I know depression, so I know where you've been. Spring is on it's way girl so don't forget to stop to smell the flowers and listen to the birds chatter, just don't feed the squirrels ;D. Life is for living so lets get on with just that :) Have an awesome road trip and recharge those batteries, Sadies orders or I'll mention the 'M' word, just incase you thought I'd forgotten ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
M word? Oh that. Did that several days ago with Jessica. You really need to keep up girl.
Yes, spring is a lovely time with life renewing itself. Animals and birds, new leaves and flowers blossoming. It is a beautiful time of the year. I won't ruin it for you. Just enjoy it.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Shy on March 10, 2018, 04:58:43 AM
.....
Off to the local TG group tonight. Again I do struggle with social situations if a lot of people are talking at once, I get overwhelmed quite easily. But I do enjoy meeting my people for the most part even if it is uncomfortable at times.
So that's it, where I'm at this week. Making progress in a few areas and struggling a little in others, but mostly I'm just living and getting on with my life. Mothers day tomorrow, I'll make sure it's a special time for her, but only this time the card will be from her daughter. :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I can remember being in a "holding pattern" waiting on my first Psychs appointment before I could start on HRT...it seemed endless and my thoughts were never far from that at all. But you are right its another day closer than it was. Still feel like forever though!!
Good deal on the brow's...I think that's a great "win" although I imagine getting the women's rates makes it dearer than it was before...its a bit like women's haircuts...I used to do my own and now it is a $50 min each time. Ah the joys LOL
Take care
Liz
Quote from: ElizabethK on March 12, 2018, 03:48:34 AM
I can remember being in a "holding pattern" waiting on my first Psychs appointment before I could start on HRT...it seemed endless and my thoughts were never far from that at all. But you are right its another day closer than it was. Still feel like forever though!!
Good deal on the brow's...I think that's a great "win" although I imagine getting the women's rates makes it dearer than it was before...its a bit like women's haircuts...I used to do my own and now it is a $50 min each time. Ah the joys LOL
Take care
Liz
Yes, it's a long wait for us here in the U.K. It's been 14months and counting for me so far but I'm o.k. with it. I know my slot will come up eventually and in the mean time I have lots to get on with. If I wasn't full time I think I'd struggle more.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well unbeknown to me my medical records have now been officially changed to read Mx. It popped up on an appointment slip for my docs.
I never asked for a change, but It did make me feel better somehow. I know I'm in the halfway house holding pen just now so It was nice for the acknowledgement :)
Little things like this calm the squirrels, I warmed to it instantly as another step in my journey. Next stop Miss ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on March 13, 2018, 09:25:36 AM
Well unbeknown to me my medical records have now been officially changed to read Mx. It popped up on an appointment slip for my docs.
I never asked for a change, but It did make me feel better somehow. I know I'm in the halfway house holding pen just now so It was nice for the acknowledgement :)
Little things like this calm the squirrels, I warmed to it instantly as another step in my journey. Next stop Miss ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Don't you go missing that next stop Hun. It's a good one.
Hugs for you Sadie,
Laurie
Quote from: Shy on March 13, 2018, 09:25:36 AM
Well unbeknown to me my medical records have now been officially changed to read Mx. It popped up on an appointment slip for my docs.
I never asked for a change, but It did make me feel better somehow. I know I'm in the halfway house holding pen just now so It was nice for the acknowledgement :)
Little things like this calm the squirrels, I warmed to it instantly as another step in my journey. Next stop Miss ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
@ Sadie: Hmmm, I have never heard of "Mx" here in the USA. Perhaps that is a medical records thing for obviously transitioning patients? ... or maybe a UK thing?
When I finally started presenting myself as more female at my doctor's office I was seeing things like Ms. or Miss on my records and my communication from the doctor's office.
Either way Sadie.... that is a nice change in recognition for you.... your journey is getting better and better. Please keep your updates coming. I enjoy reading about your experiences.
Danielle
Quote from: Laurie on March 13, 2018, 09:53:54 AM
Don't you go missing that next stop Hun. It's a good one.
Hugs for you Sadie,
Laurie
Got me ticket, just stuck at the station :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 13, 2018, 12:42:12 PM
@ Sadie: Hmmm, I have never heard of "Mx" here in the USA. Perhaps that is a medical records thing for obviously transitioning patients? ... or maybe a UK thing?
When I finally started presenting myself as more female at my doctor's office I was seeing things like Ms. or Miss on my records and my communication from the doctor's office.
Either way Sadie.... that is a nice change in recognition for you.... your journey is getting better and better. Please keep your updates coming. I enjoy reading about your experiences.
Danielle
Yes, here in the U.K. Mx is for non-binary I think, of which I'm not, but it's better than Mr for sure.
I've talked to my doc. about pronouns in the past but he can't do anything about my old name until it's officially changed by deedpol. There are notes for my preferred name and I am addressed as Sadie within the surgery.
I guess Mx is being used as a go between, I'll mention it again when I see him next.
Hope you are well :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Good isn't it, had a letter from estate agents to say about work on flats and it was addressed to Ms D B---------, that's from the woman that did my flat inspection. To book into the Docs they have an automated reception , you have a choice between male and female date of birth and first letter of surname . Must have a word with the doc tomorrow when I see her in the morning!!!!!!
Quote from: davina61 on March 13, 2018, 02:13:59 PM
Good isn't it, had a letter from estate agents to say about work on flats and it was addressed to Ms D B---------, that's from the woman that did my flat inspection. To book into the Docs they have an automated reception , you have a choice between male and female date of birth and first letter of surname . Must have a word with the doc tomorrow when I see her in the morning!!!!!!
It is indeed good Davina :) It's strange getting used to things being closer to what they should be instead of feeling disjointed and displaced. It's a new feeling for me that I never expected.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Got my new manager to call me Davina , taken me a while to get used to it.
Quote from: davina61 on March 13, 2018, 03:56:00 PM
Got my new manager to call me Davina , taken me a while to get used to it.
Great news Davina :) I found it strange at first when people around me started calling me Sadie, not in a bad way, just wasn't used to it. I don't even notice now.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie.
Quote from: davina61 on March 13, 2018, 03:56:00 PM
Got my new manager to call me Davina , taken me a while to get used to it.
@ Davina: YES, that is a pivotal moment in our transition journey.... when they started calling my by my female name without any prompting that was a stellar moment!
Danielle
Well it's been quite a dysphoric week for me, maybe the consequence of living full time without any access to treatment, who knows. My day will come for sure, but it's hard to read about everyones progress from a distance sometimes.
On the plus side I've made contact with the local Aspergers society. They have a monthly women's group that I'll get involved with :) I think there is a big difference between living full time anonymously vs being actively involved with others in my community. So I'm getting out there, hopefully that will help a little with the dysphoria and maybe make some new friends along the way.
A little over a year ago I'd hardly leave the house, so it's all progress :). Although I'm still the same person, the way I experience life has profoundly changed. I'm not afraid of my own shadow anymore, I don't stoop or cower at my reflection. I'm just unashamedly me, and that's o.k. Just need to sort the physical changes, but that's out of my hands for now.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Hon,
Just to let you know that I am still looking in on you and always ready with a hug
Quote from: Cindy on March 17, 2018, 05:24:47 AM
Hi Hon,
Just to let you know that I am still looking in on you and always ready with a hug
Aw thanks Cindy. You're a good girl. :)
I hope you are doing well, and with a hug we can encompass the world, being on opposite sides of it ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
I for one think you are doing pretty good for yourself Hun. Getting out as you have been is a pretty good step for you. As you said you aren't cowering or hiding from yourself. You are putting yourself out there and making progress in spite of the NHS systems horrible delays.
Like Cindy told you I am always around somewhere and have a good shoulder for you to lean on. Plus lots of hugs when you need them.
(((Hug)))
Laurie
Quote from: Shy on March 17, 2018, 05:08:31 AM
Well it's been quite a dysphoric week for me, maybe the consequence of living full time without any access to treatment, who knows. My day will come for sure, but it's hard to read about everyones progress from a distance sometimes.
On the plus side I've made contact with the local Aspergers society. They have a monthly women's group that I'll get involved with :) I think there is a big difference between living full time anonymously vs being actively involved with others in my community. So I'm getting out there, hopefully that will help a little with the dysphoria and maybe make some new friends along the way.
A little over a year ago I'd hardly leave the house, so it's all progress :). Although I'm still the same person, the way I experience life has profoundly changed. I'm not afraid of my own shadow anymore, I don't stoop or cower at my reflection. I'm just unashamedly me, and that's o.k. Just need to sort the physical changes, but that's out of my hands for now.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie that is great news...I think you have made great progress(looking from the outside in). Being the best you that you can be is a pretty darn hard task but it would seem you are all over it. I hope the women's meetings go really well for you. I understand that wanting to isolate congrats on not doing that.
Take care
Liz
Managed to down load the drag bike pics (https://i.imgur.com/ttAorsi.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/g5IFbaY.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/9Nprcxl.jpg)
Quote from: Laurie on March 17, 2018, 09:09:41 PM
Hi Sadie,
I for one think you are doing pretty good for yourself Hun. Getting out as you have been is a pretty good step for you. As you said you aren't cowering or hiding from yourself. You are putting yourself out there and making progress in spite of the NHS systems horrible delays.
Like Cindy told you I am always around somewhere and have a good shoulder for you to lean on. Plus lots of hugs when you need them.
(((Hug)))
Laurie
Thanks Laurie :)
My plan of action is to just get on with stuff. When I make up my mind about something I try not to think about it too much and just get on with it. Not sure how sensible that is but it seems to work for me....mostly.
Thanks for your kind offer but really it's the physical stuff that is out of my hands that needs to be sorted.
I don't mind the NHS wait, they are under so much pressure. The way I see it is that the longer I have to wait the more people in front of me have been treated and have found some peace. My day will come ;D
Enjoy the rest of your trip,
peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: ElizabethK on March 18, 2018, 01:40:05 AM
Sadie that is great news...I think you have made great progress(looking from the outside in). Being the best you that you can be is a pretty darn hard task but it would seem you are all over it. I hope the women's meetings go really well for you. I understand that wanting to isolate congrats on not doing that.
Take care
Liz
Thanks Liz,
I am a little anxious about the women's group, I just hope they accept me into the fold. It will be my first real group experience outside of the TG world. :o
As far as hiding away goes I think I reached a point where it just wasn't an option anymore. The last thing I want is to transition and for things to stay exactly the same only with added boobs.
Have a lovely day whatever you get up to, I know things are tough for you just now, you are in my thoughts :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: davina61 on March 18, 2018, 02:17:57 PM
Managed to down load the drag bike pics
That looks awesome Davina, only I think the bike will need added skis if things carry on the way they are. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Time for weekly update :)
It's been a very thoughtful week for me as it goes. For some reason I've spent a lot of time with childhood memories, piecing together the whys and wherefores. I still had the same feelings all them years ago as I do now, I was trans then and I'm trans now. Sounds silly when put so simply, but here I am typing away searching for that epiphany, that elusive missing piece that will make sense of everything.
Strange thing is that I'm starting to feel better about myself and I'm not really sure what to do about it. The lie is...'oh, I'm feeling better maybe I'm not so trans after all', the reality is 'I'm feeling better because I've embraced who I am and declared it to the world!!!'. I guess I'm scared of screwing things up and loosing myself again, I can be my own worst enemy sometimes. So I'm musing and massaging the grey matter, waiting for that elusive synapse to fire that lights up the path and sends me happily on my way.
Sorry for the ramble of a post, but it's where my headspace is as of now. It's just me working through stuff, writing down my thoughts always helps. I'm doing well ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Its good to ramble (helps me) as like me you have no one to unload on as such. As to the feeling the same as when younger, yes but didn't know what it was then. You will get there one day, hopefully sooner than later.
Sadie,
Your observation that you feel better and are tempted by the lie that you are not really trans resonates with me. I have a sense of feeling comfortable now. No angst over being who I am. Although I have a ways to go yet in my transition and want to get it done, I am not obsessing over everyday life. My wife, who is sticking by me, recently commented that she don't see where I have changed. It gave me cause to think. Yes, she was right, I thought, but now I do not feel horrible. I am comfortable. I remember when the days were filled with darkness and despair. This is so much better.
Embrace it.
Stevi
Quote from: davina61 on March 24, 2018, 03:07:11 PM
Its good to ramble (helps me) as like me you have no one to unload on as such. As to the feeling the same as when younger, yes but didn't know what it was then. You will get there one day, hopefully sooner than later.
Thanks Davina :)
Being isolated is a blessing and a curse sometimes. Blessing because there is nobody there to influence my decisions, a curse because we are human and need human interaction. A two edged sword really.
I'm on my way Davina :) I've socially transitioned for the most part, just stuck in limbo land waiting for the GC. Again a two edged sword. Glad because everything I've done has been my own decision, from coming out to going full time. I'm learning to manage fear, I'm also learning humility and empathy for others. The flip side I know little about as I haven't had the clinical support yet. I know where I'd like to be and I hope it goes well. It's the not knowing that can cause me to muse sometimes.
Have a great week Davina,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Stevi on March 24, 2018, 04:37:15 PM
Sadie,
Your observation that you feel better and are tempted by the lie that you are not really trans resonates with me. I have a sense of feeling comfortable now. No angst over being who I am. Although I have a ways to go yet in my transition and want to get it done, I am not obsessing over everyday life. My wife, who is sticking by me, recently commented that she don't see where I have changed. It gave me cause to think. Yes, she was right, I thought, but now I do not feel horrible. I am comfortable. I remember when the days were filled with darkness and despair. This is so much better.
Embrace it.
Stevi
Hi Stevi,
I know I'm trans it's just that when I start to feel better it can be easy to forget the bad place I have come from. So thoughts like 'am I trans enough' pop up to challenge me when I start to feel more comfy with myself.
From what I've read it's all just part of the process of questioning and affirmation. It's also taking some getting used to feeling normal and dare I say it happy for the first time in my life, so embrace it I shall :D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie,
You just keep doing what you are doing. It is working for you and it will help you get by that awful NHS wait. But I know you can do it girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on March 26, 2018, 02:52:44 AM
Sadie,
You just keep doing what you are doing. It is working for you and it will help you get by that awful NHS wait. But I know you can do it girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Morning Laurie :)
Yes, I can do it, because I am doing it. Getting down with it is where I'm at. Not the Stephen King 'It' but the it that whispers 'you've got this', 'everything's going to be o.k.' ;D I'll get there Laurie, I'm feeling good today, back to my usual discombobulated, whimsical self :D
Have a lovely day and safe travels.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on March 24, 2018, 12:49:59 PM
Time for weekly update :)
It's been a very thoughtful week for me as it goes. For some reason I've spent a lot of time with childhood memories, piecing together the whys and wherefores. I still had the same feelings all them years ago as I do now, I was trans then and I'm trans now. Sounds silly when put so simply, but here I am typing away searching for that epiphany, that elusive missing piece that will make sense of everything.
Strange thing is that I'm starting to feel better about myself and I'm not really sure what to do about it. The lie is...'oh, I'm feeling better maybe I'm not so trans after all', the reality is 'I'm feeling better because I've embraced who I am and declared it to the world!!!'. I guess I'm scared of screwing things up and loosing myself again, I can be my own worst enemy sometimes. So I'm musing and massaging the grey matter, waiting for that elusive synapse to fire that lights up the path and sends me happily on my way.
Sorry for the ramble of a post, but it's where my headspace is as of now. It's just me working through stuff, writing down my thoughts always helps. I'm doing well ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie: It was certainly nice to read your update. I can identify with what you stated about your childhood memories. I quit searching for things that could make it make sense and just accept who I was and who I am.
It is good that through all the thinking process and scratching your head that you are feeling better about yourself. A positive attitude is not only good for your outlook on life but it is good and healthful for your body and mind. People, friends, family and others that come across your path will be much more receptive to a positive person with a positive outlook.
I too, will write rambly posts and ramble on in my personal journal, it is a good way to sort out one's thoughts.
I enjoy reading your updates, please keep them coming.
Hugs,
Danielle
I'm not sure how to express this, or if it will make any sense but there is something within me that is maybe self deprecating or just empathic that I don't fully understand.
I had a meeting yesterday with a lovely lady autistic group and I found myself apologising for complicating things by being a transgender woman.
We discussed about me joining the women's group but could both rationalise that it could cause unforeseen problems with other potentialy vulnerable members. I wasn't refused but I also wasn't prepared to disrupt a potential stable environment.
I felt sad, but assured that it can never be all about me, I was thinking of others. I just found it difficult to understand my place, it felt like just another degree of separation. Self-imposed, admittedly, hence the confusion.
We ended up with a compromise where I would be partnered up with another women of my age who also has
Aspergers so we can learn from each other. So it's all good but I do feel like a bit of a social experiment sometimes.
So my journey continues, never as I planned, but with every turn I learn a little bit more about myself and my place in the world. They are good people at the group, I instantly warmed to the ladies I've met, I know I'm in safe hands.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on March 29, 2018, 05:46:26 AM
I'm not sure how to express this, or if it will make any sense but there is something within me that is maybe self deprecating or just empathic that I don't fully understand.
I had a meeting yesterday with a lovely lady autistic group and I found myself apologising for complicating things by being a transgender woman.
We discussed about me joining the women's group but could both rationalise that it could cause unforeseen problems with other potentialy vulnerable members. I wasn't refused but I also wasn't prepared to disrupt a potential stable environment.
I felt sad, but assured that it can never be all about me, I was thinking of others. I just found it difficult to understand my place, it felt like just another degree of separation. Self-imposed, admittedly, hence the confusion.
We ended up with a compromise where I would be partnered up with another women of my age who also has
Aspergers so we can learn from each other. So it's all good but I do feel like a bit of a social experiment sometimes.
So my journey continues, never as I planned, but with every turn I learn a little bit more about myself and my place in the world. They are good people at the group, I instantly warmed to the ladies I've met, I know I'm in safe hands.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
Lool at it this way Hun, when it comes to finding our way and fitting in, we ate all a social experiment. Each of us must look at the place we want to be and adapt with the circumstances. We meet and assess those that are already there and compromise learning the requirements to get along just as they must fot us.
Think of it as a probation period or an initiation. I am sure that as time goes on they will see you for the wonderful lady you are ans welcome you fully inyo the circle.
Patience, my dear, patience.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on March 29, 2018, 07:00:29 AM
Hi Sadie,
Lool at it this way Hun, when it comes to finding our way and fitting in, we ate all a social experiment. Each of us must look at the place we want to be and adapt with the circumstances. We meet and assess those that are already there and compromise learning the requirements to get along just as they must fot us.
Think of it as a probation period or an initiation. I am sure that as time goes on they will see you for the wonderful lady you are ans welcome you fully inyo the circle.
Patience, my dear, patience.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Yes I have patience Laurie, I live in the U.K. and was placed on another waiting list ;D
It's not about that, just me getting out there trying to find answers. I never expected to feel bamboozled, it just happened. Could be the autism in me reacting to a strange environment, the very thing that I'm seeking to understand better. My world is complicated at times.
Most trans people know what it's like to hide behind a mask, with some autistic people it's very similar, it's actually called social masking. To appear normal, fit in and protect ourselves we intellectually jump through hoops, I found out last night that it's a very female autistic trait which made me happy. I do it all the time.
So bit by bit I'm learning. The ladies I've met so far in the group have been wonderful, I have no doubts I'm in safe hands. They even have a transgender support poster at reception.
I doubt sharing this will mean anything to most, but it's my reality that some may take encouragement from. My real world experience, the unedited me.
Had a lovely meal with my folks tonight, I'm officially Sadie In their eyes now. For the first time in my life I began to feel part of the family. I've always felt on the periphery for many reasons, but tonight I started to feel accepted for who I am, their daughter :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sharing the real Sadie with us is what we want Hun, all of you just as you are.
It is so good to see you having family support too, Sadie.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
I hardly ever dream but last night was my first dream as myself. My hair was slightly longer but It was me. I guess my brain is rewiring or memories of a past life are fading, not sure which :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie I think this is a huge milestone! Dreaming as a woman.
Quote from: Kendra on March 31, 2018, 09:38:24 AM
Sadie I think this is a huge milestone! Dreaming as a woman.
Yes it does feel like a process sometimes.
It's a strange thing the subconscious, I never actually never thought anything of it at first and then it dawned on me something quite profound has changed within me :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 27, 2018, 05:14:03 PM
Sadie: It was certainly nice to read your update. I can identify with what you stated about your childhood memories. I quit searching for things that could make it make sense and just accept who I was and who I am.
It is good that through all the thinking process and scratching your head that you are feeling better about yourself. A positive attitude is not only good for your outlook on life but it is good and healthful for your body and mind. People, friends, family and others that come across your path will be much more receptive to a positive person with a positive outlook.
I too, will write rambly posts and ramble on in my personal journal, it is a good way to sort out one's thoughts.
I enjoy reading your updates, please keep them coming.
Hugs,
Danielle
You are right about acceptance. I think initially it's right to take responsibility and question everything. Eventually though it becomes kind of counter productive, I feel like I'm reaching that tipping point now. Time to just get on with living :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on March 31, 2018, 01:44:26 PM
You are right about acceptance. I think initially it's right to take responsibility and question everything. Eventually though it becomes kind of counter productive, I feel like I'm reaching that tipping point now. Time to just get on with living :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I think you are dead right...at some point it all gets really old and tiresome and the drive to get on and just live your life becomes overwhelming( well for me it has) Your experiences with the group have turned out to be yet another positive experience for you. Sometimes I think its so easy to get caught up in everything trans that the stuff we feel is important can be left to slide due to our pre-occupation...I think its just part of the overall experience. I too am striving to return my life to a modicum of normality if that is ever possible once the trans stuff is "out of the bag" so to speak
Take care
Liz
What no avatar???? missing your smile already love. Hope you have a smilier one to replace it XXXXXX and hugs
Quote from: davina61 on April 08, 2018, 03:45:12 AM
What no avatar???? missing your smile already love. Hope you have a smilier one to replace it XXXXXX and hugs
I'm just a bit dysphoric Davina. I'm also feeling a bit lost and isolated here to be honest.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie I wish for you to be happy - I follow your posts here and care a lot about you, many people do. You are not alone. I wish I was there right now to give you a hug.
What I thought , that's why you had a big hug. We all get those moments, daft stuff sets you off. Hope you feel better soon and here is a BIGGER HUG
I too am here Sadie. Been a bit busy but still keeping tabs on you. It makes me sad when you are having a bit of a rough time. But hunt, just look at the progress you have been making pretty much all on your own. That my dear friend is something to be proud of. I know I am proud of you. Keep your goals in mind hunt and you will achieve them.
Hugs,
Laurie.
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Just ignore me people, something got to me that I was finding hard to process. I'm o.k. My life just seems to be one big waiting list just now and I'm a little overly sensitive.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on April 08, 2018, 03:03:48 PM
Just ignore me people, something got to me that I was finding hard to process. I'm o.k. My life just seems to be one big waiting list just now and I'm a little overly sensitive.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Okay if your okay with us being okay with you being okay, okay?
Quote from: Cassi on April 08, 2018, 03:14:28 PM
Okay if your okay with us being okay with you being okay, okay?
Okey-doke ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on April 08, 2018, 03:27:37 PM
Okey-doke ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Okey-Doke is okay for us being okay with you being okay with okey doke!!!!!, Okay?????
Quote from: Cassi on April 08, 2018, 03:29:12 PM
Okey-Doke is okay for us being okay with you being okay with okey doke!!!!!, Okay?????
Och aye ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I know you are north but not that far ;D, got over tiered and got cross when a customer parked a big van in the way of getting a car in for me to test, didn't go down well blowing horn and waving arm to get them to move it. We all have our moments and it stops me feeling girly.
Quote from: Shy on April 08, 2018, 03:41:14 PM
Och aye ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Ocka
Ignore you???!
Surely you jest. I for one Hun am not going to ignore you. We all get to feeling down. Do I ever know down? When you are down Sadie you have friends here to lift you up. This is a safe place for you to air those issues. It is what we are here for. You just holler when you need to.
Hugs
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: davina61 on April 09, 2018, 03:25:30 PM
I know you are north but not that far ;D, got over tiered and got cross when a customer parked a big van in the way of getting a car in for me to test, didn't go down well blowing horn and waving arm to get them to move it. We all have our moments and it stops me feeling girly.
I'm actually a southern softie ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Cassi on April 09, 2018, 06:25:36 PM
Ocka
Gesundheit ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on April 10, 2018, 01:09:22 AM
Ignore you???!
Surely you jest. I for one Hun am not going to ignore you. We all get to feeling down. Do I ever know down? When you are down Sadie you have friends here to lift you up. This is a safe place for you to air those issues. It is what we are here for. You just holler when you need to.
Hugs
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Thanks Laurie, I'm going to take a back seat here for a while and write some music.
Glad you're home safely :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
No way do we want to ignore you ;)..at least I don't...I am a little slow at time to respond to everyone but that is more my nature LOL I hope you are doing OK and the music composition goes well
Take care
Liz
Quote from: ElizabethK on April 10, 2018, 09:56:00 PM
No way do we want to ignore you ;)..at least I don't...I am a little slow at time to respond to everyone but that is more my nature LOL I hope you are doing OK and the music composition goes well
Take care
Liz
Thanks Liz, I just get a little overwhelmed by everything sometimes and don't know how to express my feelings.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well it's lawn cutting season for me now. I've always cut both of my elderly neighbours lawns as well as my own. I was a bit apprehensive as it's the time of year when neighbours chat over the fence and I haven't had that awkward conversation yet with any of them.
Turns out I had nothing to worry about, no questioning or strange looks and awkwardness. Just normal chit-chat like we've always done. To be honest I was more worried about breaking a nail emptying the grass than anything else, how shallow am I ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
See nothing to worry about apart from nails , same for me TBH
Quote from: Shy on April 15, 2018, 05:27:12 AM
....To be honest I was more worried about breaking a nail emptying the grass than anything else, how shallow am I ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Oh how I lives have changed...there was a time when just getting through it was enough...now we have all the other considerations LOL...the other thing I really noticed when doing these kinds of things is my now, total lack of strength and how much these kinds of chores exhaust me...seems stamina goes missing a bit as well. Hope you are well
Take care
Liz
Time for a little update.
The warmer weather means I can't hide the obvious omissions so passing is a little more tricky. The bra helps a little and I also have been wearing some tight tops to exaggerate the AA bumps I naturally have. I think they call it the in-between stage, at least I'm out socially. My time will come :)
Had another makeover to cheer me up. I needed some new foundation because my old faithful wasn't matching my skin tone after the ravages of winter. Had a nice chat with the clinician though and came out feeling better albeit a little lighter in the purse as lipgloss and brow stuff was added to my haul.
Saw my GP today, not much to report there, but he likes to see me every three months or so to at least offer a little support while I wait for the gender clinic. It's been a learning process for both of us since I came out to him, me being his first transexual patient who is seeking medical intervention. I know I'm in good hands.
Still haven't heard from the women's autistic support group. Yup my life is just one big waiting list, or at least that's how it seems sometimes. In a way I'm kind of glad of the lull in proceedings. It's been a bit of a mad year for me with one thing or another.
Off shopping for a new bag tomorrow. I think the ones I have are a little small for my height. I read somewhere a large bag will give the illusion that you are shorter. I read it on the internet so it must be true and is my perfect excuse to treat myself. ;D
So overall feeling a bit better, it's been a bit of a battle for me recently so the blinkers went on and I've stuck to the plan, even if the instructions are a little confusing at times and I've been viewing the map upside-down ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
I see you are keeping the faith and biding your time. That NHS wait is brutal Hun. Other than that it sounds like you are doing better than you were and I am glad to see that. You just keep showing everyone that if you keep putting one foot in front of the other you are making progress. I'n my case I think I need someone to light a fire under me to get me moving again.
Hang in there Sadie.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on April 27, 2018, 07:20:26 PM
Hi Sadie,
I see you are keeping the faith and biding your time. That NHS wait is brutal Hun. Other than that it sounds like you are doing better than you were and I am glad to see that. You just keep showing everyone that if you keep putting one foot in front of the other you are making progress. I'n my case I think I need someone to light a fire under me to get me moving again.
Hang in there Sadie.
Hugs,
Laurie
Well Laurie I guess we just have to get on with it like everyone else on the planet. It must be a bit of a jolt for you after coming back from your road trip but I'm sure you'll find your rhythm again :) Now get yourself moving before I start chopping up some kindling. ;D
Have a lovely day, I'm off bag hunting.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Are you using dogs or traps to catch the allusive bag? just asking as I need to hunt one down myself, after over a year the very used one mum gave me is dying . Bring on the warm weather as it was good to go out in a summer dress.
I just patiently lie in wait for a sale and when the unsuspecting bag shows up I pounce with my purse. Sadly they all got away yesterday, I was after a tote bag but with slightly longer handles so it's not jammed under my armpit. Found one with the perfect fit but it was pink and want something black so It matches any outfit.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on April 29, 2018, 04:05:19 AM
I just patiently lie in wait for a sale and when the unsuspecting bag shows up I pounce with my purse. Sadly they all got away yesterday, I was after a tote bag but with slightly longer handles so it's not jammed under my armpit. Found one with the perfect fit but it was pink and want something black so It matches any outfit.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
All the elusive handbag... Better luck next outing Sadie.
Hugs,
Laurie
Feeling very much back to normal today. I don't know why I found it so hard to settle lately, I think it's a combination of a lot of things. Anyway like I said feeling some semblance of normalcy.
Got the builders in this afternoon, I thought about reverting to kind and dressing down, but my norm these days is Sadie so Sadie is what they'll get ;D
Had a non-gender therapy session yesterday which went well. My therapist is female and I feel very comfortable with her. It's more of a girly chat than anything else, sometimes that's all I need and she's very supportive of my transition.
She also used to be a beauty therapist and often comments on the way I present saying I'm doing the right thing, my makeup looks natural. You see a lady (as in me) likes to hear these things :D It can't all be about depression, anxiety and exploring the depths of my emotions. She seems good at knowing the time and place and assessing my mood.
I read yesterday that the waiting times for my GC is now 20 months, obviously it's subject to change but by my calculations I may be seen sometime in November. Of course I'm not counting the days, just like Liz isn't. ;D But it doesn't seem long now.
Although I've found the wait challenging, for me it's also caused me to stand on my own two feet. I've come out, gone full time. I know what it's like to face fear an overcome it. Lots of positives, just need to sort the dysphoria which is just horrible and I know is going to be a challenge in itself. I haven't committed to anything irreversible yet. I know that, but the thought of starting HRT fills me with such a peace I know it will be a know brainer.
Anyways, I'm birthday girl in another five days, just fair warning ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I will make a cake ready, May I be the first to wish Happy Birthday. Glad you are back to "normal"(what ever that is) now how many cups of brew have you made the builders as they need a lot of lubrication .
Happy Birthday on Sunday Sadie. May you have many more and all of them good.
I liked reading your update Hun. When you are on a high you make me happy for you. it is lovely to read and see the progress you are making, not only with your transition but in life Sadie. You are on a roll so keep that momentum going.
Stay happy Girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: davina61 on May 01, 2018, 07:55:03 AM
I will make a cake ready, May I be the first to wish Happy Birthday. Glad you are back to "normal"(what ever that is) now how many cups of brew have you made the builders as they need a lot of lubrication .
Thank you Davina, I like virtual cake, not so many calories. ;D
I would have made the builders tea if they had bothered to turn up. aaaarrrgggghhh. Just about to ring them now to hear the lame excuse.
Peace and love and all that stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on May 01, 2018, 02:20:25 PM
Happy Birthday on Sunday Sadie. May you have many more and all of them good.
I liked reading your update Hun. When you are on a high you make me happy for you. it is lovely to read and see the progress you are making, not only with your transition but in life Sadie. You are on a roll so keep that momentum going.
Stay happy Girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thanks for the wishes Laurie :)
Yes I'm doing a little better, they call it a rollercoaster don't they, I just forget sometimes I've purchase my ticket and am already strapped in holding on for dear life trying not to swallow my dentures :o. Change is always challenging, my mildly autistic brain compounds that so it all gets a bit overwhelming at times.
Anyway before start getting all deep and meaningful, have a lovely day Laurie.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie, happy birthday this weekend! And an opportunity to think about the growing list of your well-earned accomplishments this past year.
Quote from: Kendra on May 02, 2018, 11:04:29 PM
Sadie, happy birthday this weekend! And an opportunity to think about the growing list of your well-earned accomplishments this past year.
Thank you for the wishes Kendra :)
Sometimes it's hard to separate the wood from the trees but I have come a long way, as have we all :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well Sadie made her visit to vote this morning. It was a bit strange because without a name change it meant outing myself. It felt good to be a trans woman planting my X and I didn't mind who knew.
On the way back I got my first cat call, wolf whistle or whatever strange noise it it that blokes make to get noticed. It did feel a bit odd being the object of someones attention that way. Not used to that one :D
I had one of those revelations last night that could help solve a lot of my non-gender related issues. I need to explore further but it would certainly explain a lot and give me some closure. The glove fits so I'll bring it up at my next therapy session. :)
So happy today. Just come back from food shopping and a wander, felt good, felt confident, felt like myself. A good day. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Good for you love and don't it feel good being yourself .
Quote from: davina61 on May 03, 2018, 01:35:19 PM
Good for you love and don't it feel good being yourself .
Thanks Davina :) It's taken over year full time to even start feeling slightly comfortable in my presentation.
Today felt good, I liked what I was wearing, my makeup was fresh and natural and the sun was shining. Some days the planets just align.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hey Sadie girl, it sounds like you are having a wonderful time of it today. Wow! cat calls even. That's never happened to me. Good going girl!
I sure hope the epiphany you believe you've had, pans out for you, Hun.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 03, 2018, 02:23:57 PM
Hey Sadie girl, it sounds like you are having a wonderful time of it today. Wow! cat calls even. That's never happened to me. Good going girl!
I sure hope the epiphany you believe you've had, pans out for you, Hun.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you official Laurie. Yes the epiphany is real :) I think I know the cause of many of my troubles but it's not gender related and involves third parties so I don't want to talk publicly about it.
I never thought in my wildest dreams that my esteem would change, I thought I was so set in my ways, damaged goods. I now have a slight notion that that's not the case that is rapidly turning into a conviction. Early days yet though, these things take time to process.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Had a little train journey today. A younger guy sat opposite to me and ma'amed me when he sat down and ma'amed me when I got off at my stop.
The ticket collector ma'amed me, I guess I'm a ma'am then. ;D
I was feeling a bit more awkward today, mainly autism at work when I'm in strange places, but I'm getting better with that too. At least I know what it is now and I'm starting to venture out further afield :D
Got an invite from little Sis. on Monday for birthday dinner so treated myself to a new top for the occasion. Any excuse and I'm off shopping ;D.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Yes Ma'am, Shopping is what we do isn't it? I just put in an order for 2 long dresses, a bra, a 36 quart cooler, and another item. Total was sale prices at $98.94 and with some promotions I got it all for $38.86! with no shipping cost. Now that's shopping!
Hugs,
Laurie
Had me eyebrows threaded today and now I have no eyebrows :o. I think she made a mistake and tried to correct it by making them thinner. Oh well, I'm old fashioned and don't mind drawing them on. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Would like to get mine sorted and a makeoverone day maybe
@Shy It's a shame she didn't get your brows done right. Did you shave them off completely after? I hope she didn't charge you for her mistake.
@davina61 I saw that Davina. I've had a
makeover now it is your turn, girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: davina61 on May 05, 2018, 03:02:35 PM
Would like to get mine sorted and a makeoverone day maybe
Did you mention
MAKEOVER I thought you were already in the 'M' club. This won't do at all ;D
Ask her Laurie what happens if you fail to comply. "Light the beacons!" Davina hasn't had a makeover;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on May 05, 2018, 03:22:05 PM
@Shy It's a shame she didn't get your brows done right. Did you shave them off completely after? I hope she didn't charge you for her mistake.
Hugs,
Laurie
It's o.k. Laurie, she didn't shave them off, just made them 70's thin. She charged me man rates. I thought we were past that one. She's the only clinician to misgender me and the only one I'll never see again.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I'm birthday girl today ;D Off to my parents for a meal and then to my sisters tomorrow for more grub.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
All together HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU as for the M word not had time to fit one in as always working , if the UK meeting happens then for definite . Any ways have a good day and not to much cake, sod it its your birthday have as much cake as you want XXXXXXXXXX
Quote from: davina61 on May 06, 2018, 03:20:05 AM
All together HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU as for the M word not had time to fit one in as always working , if the UK meeting happens then for definite . Any ways have a good day and not to much cake, sod it its your birthday have as much cake as you want XXXXXXXXXX
Thanks for the wishes Davina :)
I see you made your first official makeover excuse. I think Laurie held the record at 67264.5 before she crumbled to the pressure ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Happy birthday hon.
Lovely to see everything is OK
Thanks for the wishes Cindy :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Happy Birthday Sadie! What's this one make 29? Have a great day with family Hun.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 06, 2018, 12:15:55 PM
Happy Birthday Sadie! What's this one make 29? Have a great day with family Hun.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you Laurie :) Lol, 29x2=me.
To be honest I struggled as I got some man presents, followed by him and he. I'm normally o.k. with misgendering but felt guilty for feeling ungrateful for a gift. I didn't show it though, I know it's never going to be perfect, hopefully with time things will change. It's just this awkward in-between stage that are confusing for everyone.
Off to sisters, niece and nephew today, It feels a bit like round two more than a celebration, but I'm sure it will be fine. It's tough sometimes being the awkward one that complicates things and never quite fits in anywhere. The weird uncle that's really an aunt.
Anyway must dash, girl needs to get her face on. What to wear? What to wear? ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
What to wear?
The shiny black leather cat woman suit with 4 inch heels always throws them!!!!
Quote from: Cindy on May 07, 2018, 04:03:26 AM
What to wear?
The shiny black leather cat woman suit with 4 inch heels always throws them!!!!
Stop it Cindy ;D They think I'm weird enough as it is, if I wore a cat suit they'd probably cart me off to the vets.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 07, 2018, 04:19:24 AM
Quote from: Cindy on May 07, 2018, 04:03:26 AM
What to wear?
The shiny black leather cat woman suit with 4 inch heels always throws them!!!!
Stop it Cindy ;D They think I'm weird enough as it is, if I wore a cat suit they'd probably cart me off to the vets.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
If not the excellent suggestion Cindy gave you, how about the chartreuse tube top with you hot pink mini skirt?
(don't forget the 7" leopard heels) Trust me everyone will love it. So Chic. Would I fib?
Hugs,
Laurie
I went dressed like a tangerine in a bright orange blouse ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 07, 2018, 01:44:06 PM
I went dressed like a tangerine in a bright orange blouse ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
LOL
Did you color your head and hair green to look like a leaf and wear green pants as a stem?
I want pics if you did.
Luvs ya,
Laurie
Copy cat (see my thread!!!)
Quote from: Laurie on May 07, 2018, 01:59:25 PM
LOL
Did you color your head and hair green to look like a leaf and wear green pants as a stem?
I want pics if you did.
Luvs ya,
Laurie
Stop giving me fashion ideas it's all confusing enough as it is ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: davina61 on May 07, 2018, 04:18:41 PM
Copy cat (see my thread!!!)
I hear orange is the new black, looking good Davina. Now stop encouraging that felinedish Cindy before I have a wardrobe catastrophe ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Nearly put on my GREEN earrings and necklace to go with that
So you wearing the cat suit when your training!!!!! Good luck to you, wish I could train but my dodgy right ankle and now my left knee is painful going up steep stairs with a load. Make sure you warm up and look after those joints girl.XXXX Davina(official)
Quote from: davina61 on May 13, 2018, 04:40:35 PM
So you wearing the cat suit when your training!!!!! Good luck to you, wish I could train but my dodgy right ankle and now my left knee is painful going up steep stairs with a load. Make sure you warm up and look after those joints girl.XXXX Davina(official)
I also tried running in heals but soon discovered that probably wasn't such a good idea ;D
Speaking of cats I had a stray jump through the window yesterday only to sit by my feet and started purring like it owned the place. I'm sure it was one of Cindy's minions.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on May 14, 2018, 03:53:55 PM
I also tried running in heals but soon discovered that probably wasn't such a good idea ;D
Speaking of cats I had a stray jump through the window yesterday only to sit by my feet and started purring like it owned the place. I'm sure it was one of Cindy's minions.
Peace and love and all that good stuff
Sadie
Purring cats are better than the Honey Badgers that
@Michelle_P sets upon
@Laurie.
Quote from: Jessica on May 14, 2018, 07:13:32 PM
Purring cats are better than the Honey Badgers that @Michelle_P sets upon @Laurie.
I used to have a rescue three legged cat called tripod. I'm really a dog person though, my German Shepherd was the best friend I ever had, I really miss her. She didn't give a hoot if I was trans or not and gave the best wet noses.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie.
I'm just back from my first post autism diagnosis session. I learned and understood more in five minutes about lifetime of struggle and confusion than I have in a lifetime of struggle and confusion ???
I had my relief moment, my brain is just wired differently epiphany, my conformation, my did you know they make special weighted blankets for people like me? moment, you don't know how much of a relief it is to hear that.
So feeling a little more positive if not a bit washed out from the past few days. I think I've been through every emotion and probably invented a few more along the way. I think it's going to be o.k. I can stop beating myself up or putting myself down when I find things challenging. Add being transgender to the mix and that's my world, my lot in life and I wouldn't have it any other way. ;D
It's amazing what a little support can do, thanks girls :)
I'm out running again which will do me no end of good, even if my muscles are grumbling a bit today, but it's a healthy satisfying grumble that reminds me I got off my sorry a$$.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Wonderful, Sadie!
And I think it's going to be OK, too. You are definitely one of us, the strong, resilient folks who can bounce back from these bad places.
Enjoy your run. Even the aches and sore bits remind us that we are truely ALIVE!
With love and respect,
Michelle
Hi Sadie,
Well lady, it sounds as though you are getting a grip on life again and that session helped to do it. Good girl! Good luck with the fitness. Wow 50 miles running?? I cannot run a mile any more. Heck I've started using an Albuterol inhaler before going on my walk. I decided to try it not too long ago and have found it does help me on these walks. I huff and puff less when I use it compared to when I don't. I'm afraid trying to run any distance will kill me. I have emphysema in the upper lobes ant the bottoms of the lower lobes have collapsed some due to insufficient use for too long. I suppose 3 1/2 decades of smoking hasn't help either.
I am glad you are still able to do the running. I am glad to see you brightening up some. Keep it up, there really are bright things in our lives.
Hugs,
Laurie
Hi Sadie, I'm happy you are getting off your sorry a$$. Exercise can be a gateway to life. It makes you aware that you're alive, pain is part of it as well as the joy of feeling like your doing something.
Hugs and smiles, Jess
Quote from: Shy on May 03, 2017, 12:00:47 PM
Found my go to beauty salon today after a lot of searching around and feeling awkward:)
Spent the afternoon looking through wigs and trying on different styles. It was quite emotional for me being the first time I've seen my self with hair in 40 years.
The staff were amazing with me, I came out feeling another box has been ticked. They are happy to help me with my transition and get me looking my best for the upcoming gender clinic appointments. I felt right at home and accepted,
so a good day for me :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff
Sadie
Fantastic good on you. Doing these kinds of things is really difficult but the amount of satisfaction you get is incredible Well done onwards and upwards to the Gender Clinic
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on May 03, 2017, 01:03:12 PM
Hi Sadie,
I still can't bring myself to do something like that. Keep it up and you'll leave me gasping for breath in your dust.
I did look online again for a place to inquire about electrolysis and once again I find I have only one option fairly close without going into Portland. I've even bookmarked the site, have a shortcut on my desktop to the address and phone number, and haven't called them yet. I am leery about it as I can't really find any reviews or ratings. The site has little actual information on it except the tech does it by appointment only and is board certified. No menu of services, nor any pricing info.
Again I find myself disappointed with the lack of resources available in and around Portland.
Good for you Sadie. Keep on truckin.
Hugs,
laurie
Didn't we start somewhere like this...something about a makeover lol
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Michelle_P on May 15, 2018, 04:23:50 PM
Wonderful, Sadie!
And I think it's going to be OK, too. You are definitely one of us, the strong, resilient folks who can bounce back from these bad places.
Enjoy your run. Even the aches and sore bits remind us that we are truely ALIVE!
With love and respect,
Michelle
Thank you Michelle,
It's been a bit of a mad year for me, I think I can exhale for a while now and start planning for the future. Something I couldn't say even a few days ago. A whole chunk of my life makes sense now, why I've struggled so much. I'm autistic, even though I was diagnosed over a year ago It didn't really know what it meant. I'm not a failure and I can finally forgive myself for not matching up to societies expectations.
Still got a lot to discover, but I'm on my way. They have reserved me a place In the women group when I've done with the short eight week course. They had a little chat with the ladies about having a trans women join the group and they were all 100% positive and thought it was the right place for me :). It is scary though, I'm not socialised at all for reason I now have answers for.
My fear of social groups isn't going to go away, there's no cure but I can learn to manage it with the right insight and support. It's going to take time to find my place, it's going to be challenging, so one step at a time but at least I don't so isolated any more.
I hope you are well and the Honey Badgers are behaving, when I settle a bit I'll catch up with everyone.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on May 16, 2018, 12:47:30 AM
Hi Sadie,
Well lady, it sounds as though you are getting a grip on life again and that session helped to do it. Good girl! Good luck with the fitness. Wow 50 miles running?? I cannot run a mile any more. Heck I've started using an Albuterol inhaler before going on my walk. I decided to try it not too long ago and have found it does help me on these walks. I huff and puff less when I use it compared to when I don't. I'm afraid trying to run any distance will kill me. I have emphysema in the upper lobes ant the bottoms of the lower lobes have collapsed some due to insufficient use for too long. I suppose 3 1/2 decades of smoking hasn't help either.
I am glad you are still able to do the running. I am glad to see you brightening up some. Keep it up, there really are bright things in our lives.
Hugs,
Laurie
Hi Laurie :)
It's not the distance, it's the intention. 50miles or a walk in the park makes no difference. I would never dream of driving the distances you do on you're road trips, I just can't comprehend that. So it's all relative, the important thing is that we feed our souls with the good stuff :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Jessica on May 16, 2018, 01:06:56 AM
Hi Sadie, I'm happy you are getting off your sorry a$$. Exercise can be a gateway to life. It makes you aware that you're alive, pain is part of it as well as the joy of feeling like your doing something.
Hugs and smiles, Jess
Yes, running is my passion. I lost my focus last year with coming out and all the energy it takes. Plus getting and autism diagnosis at the same time. It was all a bit of a whirlwind.
It's time to get back on the horse again, I miss the hills. I think I'm at the point in my transition where gender isn't so much of an issue now, not to say that I don't struggle, it just doesn't consume my every waking thought. A lot of the fear has dissipated, my routines have changed.
Haven't quite found my style yet. I mentioned to Cindy the other day I struggled with clothes but I think a lot of that is an autistic response. I like to feel covered up and most ladies clothes are more revealing. Some colours and patterns can overwhelm me, as does the act of clothes shopping. Just too much sensory feedback. I'm slowly getting there though. I seem to pass o.k.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: ElizabethK on May 16, 2018, 01:25:46 AM
Fantastic good on you. Doing these kinds of things is really difficult but the amount of satisfaction you get is incredible Well done onwards and upwards to the Gender Clinic
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Wow Liz, that's a blast from the past. You got in a time machine or something ;D
Makeovers are so last year. But you're right it's nice to revisit and see how far we've all come.
Still waiting for the Gender Clinic though, but I'm o.k. with it. I'm already living life as Sadie, from this point onwards everything else is a bonus.
The roller coaster hasn't stopped yet but at least I'm not barfing any more, even if the big drops can be scary at times.
What a life we lead, no one can accuse us girls of being boring. Would I buy another ticket? In a heartbeat ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
...but at least I am not barfing anymore. LOL Progress!! You go girl!! We are all on a journey and you have some limitations that I don't have and I find strength in you perseverance. Do you needs, find yor place, be true yourself.
One day it will all make sense and you will find peace.
Julie
or maybe Erica or Emilie. I am liking Emilie.
Thanks Julie (Emilie maybe).
I've always liked the name Emilie. Take your time, with me it took a while and then one day I woke up and I was Sadie. It just felt right but I couldn't explain why.
My brain is just wired differently, most wouldn't know I have challenges as autistic women are really good at social masking. It's why it took them 57years for me to get a diagnosis and is a very female trait.
I'm glad I started sharing my un-edited story here though. The majority of trans folk can relate to hiding, not wanting society to see that you're different. The fear of stigma is very real, at least for me it has been. So to feel happy I have to be myself, be true to myself like you mention. I am an autistic transgender woman and wouldn't have it any other way.
Have and awesome day :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I can relate as being slightly dyslexic means my brain is wired up different as well . Stuff is black or white, yes or no and this makes me say or do things without thinking them through.
Quote from: Shy on May 16, 2018, 02:54:21 AM
....Still waiting for the Gender Clinic though, but I'm o.k. with it. I'm already living life as Sadie, from this point onwards everything else is a bonus.....
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
You are doing the most important thing...living as your authentic self. That alone is further than many will ever get. Hope you get your clinic appoint soon so you can keep moving forward.
Take Care
Liz
Quote from: ElizabethK on May 18, 2018, 05:32:46 PM
You are doing the most important thing...living as your authentic self. That alone is further than many will ever get. Hope you get your clinic appoint soon so you can keep moving forward.
Take Care
Liz
It's as authentic as I can be Liz without access to any kind of support. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to hold back but truth be told after I came out that just wasn't an option any more. Sadie's here to stay for better or worse and everything in-between. It's a relief just not to have to hide anymore. I'm ready, it's time for people to get to know the real me. :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: davina61 on May 18, 2018, 03:22:36 PM
I can relate as being slightly dyslexic means my brain is wired up different as well . Stuff is black or white, yes or no and this makes me say or do things without thinking them through.
Yes, I have a trans dyslexic friend, nope make that two now ;D. We all experience the world differently, every last one of us.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
It's been quite a good few days for me.
I was told yesterday that my father told his sister about me. I haven't seen my aunt in forty years but it was just nice to know he had reached a point where he can talk freely to someone about trans issue.
He was raised old school right wing so I know how much of a challenge it has been for him. He even hugged me the other day, and it was a genuine hug. He's the last person I thought would understand and the first to reach out to me.
Had a session at the autistic group today, still one to one, but apparently the ladies are looking forward to meeting me when I've finished and eight week induction into this crazy world I find myself in.
Of course the prospect ls terrifying for me, mainly because I've struggled with groups in the past. At least I can be myself now, it's Sadie they'll all get to know. I just hope I'm sensitive to their needs as I still have a lot to learn about ASD.
Off to the dentist tomorrow, I came out to them a year ago this time they get to see the real me. just hope I don't have a wig malfunction. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Back from the dentists and got a clean bill of health for me chomper's ;D
My old dentist had apparently left so I had to come out all over again to a replacement with the most perfect smile.
This time I had it placed on record that I was Sadie May and was here to stay! It's been a long time since I'd been dead named, it really felt odd, but they weren't to know and just read off the screen in front of them. They were all very sweet and made me feel comfortable, well as comfortable as you can feel in a dentist chair ;)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Stuff
Quote from: Shy on May 23, 2018, 12:33:13 PM
Back from the dentists and got a clean bill of health for me chomper's ;D
My old dentist had apparently left so I had to come out all over again to a replacement with the most perfect smile.
This time I had it placed on record that I was Sadie May and was here to stay! It's been a long time since I'd been dead named, it really felt odd, but they weren't to know and just read off the screen in front of them. They were all very sweet and made me feel comfortable, well as comfortable as you can feel in a dentist chair ;)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Stuff
Sadie: That is wonderful that the record at your Dentist's office has been changed to reflect the "new you"... I can attest that it is such a terrific and emotional feeling when names and pronouns and records are all finally in order!!!
Ahhhh, the beloved Dentist's of the world.... painless dentistry, what a lie!!!
If you have been following my thread, you might have read that in some my early April reply posts when I first went to my new Dentist since my relocation (as a Full Time woman to my new town) I had not made any announcements to anyone including my Dentist about my male past. When I was getting my teeth cleaned by the Dental Hygienist, she noticed from looking at my teeth that I was born as a male..... well, to make a long story short, at least shorter than in my thread, my Dental Hygienist is now my very lovely
Female Suitor #4 Who would have known that my teeth would "out" me?
Please keep updating, I much enjoy following your adventures.
Hugs,
Danielle
Nice when you get correct named, picked up my new meds and they had Ms Davina ---------------- 0n them, Docs first thing tomorrow and will see my name in lights . Large video screen to say go to room xx
Quote from: davina61 on May 23, 2018, 01:23:15 PM
Nice when you get correct named, picked up my new meds and they had Ms Davina ---------------- 0n them, Docs first thing tomorrow and will see my name in lights . Large video screen to say go to room xx
Yes, my doc have called me Sadie for a good while now, already had my name in lights ;D Such a relief not to be outed in the waiting room.
Still working on the chemist but last time I was there they didn't gender me, just Called out my surname. I'll need an official name change for the meds which will be my next venture.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Spent this week sorting out my exercise and diet plan. I'm now almost officially vegan and spent hours on Cronometer making sure I'm getting the proper nutrients. I've got a head full of carbs, calories and B12, but am really enjoying the learning curve. I love sifting through data.
I managed sixteen miles easy running this week with a few hill sprints thrown in. Overall feeling much better for it ;D.
Still very dysphoric though, getting back to exercise has come with a lot of old memories that I knew I'd have to deal with at some point. I'm on it though, but it hasn't been easy taking my head out of the gender space and concentrating on other aspects of my life. Also managed to read a book for the first time in ages, I'm full of beans, literally. Paaaarp ;D
Still waiting to hear from the clinic, but to be honest I'm glad of the full time experience the wait has given me. I've learned a lot about myself and dealt with a lot of baggage. I'm not that Shy, timid old lady any more. Still have my doubts and fears, but I guess I'd be worried if I didn't, it shows that I care about my future, something that I couldn't say a few years back.
So lots of positives this week and to top it off the sun's shining. Yay for vitamin D :D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on June 02, 2018, 03:09:14 PM
...Still very dysphoric though, getting back to exercise has come with a lot of old memories that I knew I'd have to deal with at some point. I'm on it though, but it hasn't been easy taking my head out of the gender space and concentrating on other aspects of my life. Also managed to read a book for the first time in ages, I'm full of beans, literally. Paaaarp ;D...
So lots of positives this week and to top it off the sun's shining. Yay for vitamin D :D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Wow Sadie sounds like you really have taken life by the throat and giving it a good throttling!! It is so nice to see you making such good progress.
Good luck with the Diet and exercise I too have finally decided I had better take it seriously before my time to diet runs out!! Second weigh in tomorrow, the first being a disaster having lost only 200 grams in two weeks...I must say I didn't exercise and "cheated" constantly. Been much better this last week.
Transition can be all consuming and it can be so easy to lose track of the4 mundane part of our lives when something as important as transition is happening. Well done for being able to get perspective on that...it is such a difficult thing to do.
"I'm not that Shy, timid old lady any more" Brilliant!!
Take care
Liz
I was glad to see your update today. I agree with that Aussie lady above, you have been taking control of the things in your life that has had you so flustered in the past and dealing with them. Run 16 "easy" (cough cough wheeze wheeze) I have trouble with 4 - 5 miles walking. Someone hand me my inhaler.
Good Job Sadie. I'm proud to see you doing so well.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: ElizabethK on June 02, 2018, 09:59:51 PM
Good luck with the Diet and exercise I too have finally decided I had better take it seriously before my time to diet runs out!! Second weigh in tomorrow, the first being a disaster having lost only 200 grams in two weeks...I must say I didn't exercise and "cheated" constantly. Been much better this last wee
Thanks Liz, the only way I can diet is by counting calories, my will power is akin to a lettuce in at a bunny rave. One blink and it's gone ;D
Quote from: ElizabethK on June 02, 2018, 09:59:51 PM
Transition can be all consuming and it can be so easy to lose track of the4 mundane part of our lives when something as important as transition is happening. Well done for being able to get perspective on that...it is such a difficult thing to do.
Yes, I've been all about perspective of late, it's time to stretch my wings a little. Transitioning can be deafening at times and it's easy to loose sight of other aspects of life. I'm not seeking nirvana or revelation anymore, just plain old normal will do just fine. :)
Have an awesome week ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on June 02, 2018, 10:49:32 PM
I was glad to see your update today. I agree with that Aussie lady above, you have been taking control of the things in your life that has had you so flustered in the past and dealing with them. Run 16 "easy" (cough cough wheeze wheeze) I have trouble with 4 - 5 miles walking. Someone hand me my inhaler.
Good Job Sadie. I'm proud to see you doing so well.
Hugs,
Laurie
Hi Lauriedoodles,
Seems like I'm not the only one taking control of things. Look at where you are now girl, the things you've instigated and challenges you've overcome. I couldn't be more proud of you. ;D
You burn almost the same amount of calories if you walk 5 miles or do a steady jog. With jogging you just get there faster. You're doing awesome.
Have an lovely week :D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well done love, diet here as well so the only way I will lose some is to cut out eating. No chance of walking it off as dodgy knee and lack of time, hoping the knee will be better with less tonnage on it.
Quote from: davina61 on June 03, 2018, 09:47:42 AM
Well done love, diet here as well so the only way I will lose some is to cut out eating. No chance of walking it off as dodgy knee and lack of time, hoping the knee will be better with less tonnage on it.
I'm not dieting per se, I've switched my diet to plant based whole foods. It's a lifestyle change for me more than anything. So far it's been great apart from the sheer quantity of grub I have to consume to hit my nutritional targets, but at least I'm not continually hungry now. I've also learned why rabbits can decimate my sisters vegetable patch overnight. ;D
Good luck with the diet Davina, I use Cronometer a free web app for calorie and nutritional counting. A bit of a chore initially logging everything I munch on but it keeps me honest.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi peeps,
Since there are a lot of food posts on this forum I'll pitch in with a 'what I ate today' post. My first week vegan.
Breakfast...... Overnight oats soaked in unsweetened almond milk, some raw almonds, blueberries, a banana and flaxseed all mixed together into a little bowl of heaven.
Lunch.......Fresh pineapple, watermelon, black grapes and some walnuts.
Dinner......Organic tofu, woodland mushrooms, black beans, spinach, avocado, broccoli, in a light miso sauce. A sprinkling of nutritional yeast fortified with B12 because I'm now moo free.
Supper......Two small oranges, cherries and some almonds.
3 cups of green tea and lots of spring water throughout the day.
The hardest thing I've found is the sheer quantity of whole fruit and veggies I have to eat to hit nutritional targets, the plus Side is that I don't want to snack anymore which is awesome ;D.
Also managed a 90min jog early this morning.
I had a bit of a struggle midweek with name issue and form filling, which upset me a little :'(. I'm putting off my deed poll until I get to gender clinic, I don't know why but it just seems prudent to wait. So patience again is the order of the day :angel: I did get a 'she's' (as in me) 'Is waiting for you at reception', which was a nice to hear.
Anywho, that's my week thus far, a few lifestyle changes but sadly little change on the gender front.
I'm off for a long hike on Saturday which I'm looking forward too, so spending the rest of tonight planing my rout.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie.
Well this was my food today so see what you think. breakfast, oats semi skimmed milk and water and banana , lunch salad of lettuce , cucumber, celery, small tomatoes and a bit of sandwich meat (tonged) with ceaser dressing and an apple, tea coconut fish curry, 2 cod steaks (4ins square or a little bigger) 1 onion, chilis , salt termaric and coconut milk with fresh coriander and a 1/3 cup of rice. Banana for tea (ran out of dried fruit)
Better you than me Sadie. I like my meats too much to give them up. That goes for milk too, nothing but whole milk for this girl. I tried a sip of unsweetened almond milk once ...that was enough for me. But if that is the way you want it more power to you.
I made a beef stir fry last night with a little garlic, lime juce, soy sauce, sugar, asparagus, broccoli, fresh green beans, serano pepper , thin sliced shallot, and red and green bell pepper. I served it over basmati rice. even my sister said it was good.
Keep getting out there and running Sadie you need to get into shape for that run.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: davina61 on June 07, 2018, 04:39:42 PM
Well this was my food today so see what you think. breakfast, oats semi skimmed milk and water and banana , lunch salad of lettuce , cucumber, celery, small tomatoes and a bit of sandwich meat (tonged) with ceaser dressing and an apple, tea coconut fish curry, 2 cod steaks (4ins square or a little bigger) 1 onion, chilis , salt termaric and coconut milk with fresh coriander and a 1/3 cup of rice. Banana for tea (ran out of dried fruit)
I'm no dietitian but looks good to me Davina.
Watch the coconut milk if you want to loose weight, it's really high In saturated fats.
I think if you stick to mainly whole foods you'll do fine, If you want to loose weight may have to track your calories, and I mean everything. Im 6ft and to loose 2lbs a week I need to consume no more than 1700 cals. Last week I lost just over 2lbs so it works.
For me I also track nutrients to prevent tiredness and deficiencies. Having more energy means I'm more active and burn more calories.
When I hit my target weight I should be a lot more clued in as to what I'm eating. I'm enjoying learning and trying new things though.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on June 07, 2018, 08:06:33 PM
Better you than me Sadie. I like my meats too much to give them up. That goes for milk too, nothing but whole milk for this girl. I tried a sip of unsweetened almond milk once ...that was enough for me. But if that is the way you want it more power to you.
I made a beef stir fry last night with a little garlic, lime juce, soy sauce, sugar, asparagus, broccoli, fresh green beans, serano pepper , thin sliced shallot, and red and green bell pepper. I served it over basmati rice. even my sister said it was good.
Keep getting out there and running Sadie you need to get into shape for that run.
Hugs,
Laurie
Enjoy what you enjoy Laurie, we've all got our own tastes and preferences. That's what makes us all unique.
The stir fry sounds nice, glad to see you're looking after sis. You're a good girl.
Peace and love and all that stuff,
Sadie
Well I'm just over two weeks on a whole plant food diet. So far so good, with exercise have lost 6.5lbs and am now nearing my ideal weight. It's been fun researching it all, and really enjoyable trying out new recipes.
Had another run-in with bureaucracy and my dead name again, which wasn't much fun but have just decided to live with it until I get to the gender clinic.
Been much happier in myself, still wondering what the heck I'm doing sometimes, but the face always goes on before I leave the house. I'd feel really strange without a bit of warpaint on. Most of my dysphoria is physical though, that's the one constant that won't go away.
Anywho, I don't really have anything exciting to report, life is kind of normalising now all the craziness of the past year has quietened down. Off for a 'non gender' therapy session tomorrow, but I feel I'm also coming to the end of that. I'm not overly depressed or anxious anymore, just ticking along patiently waiting for the gender clinic.
I'm pretty clued in about how autism effects me now. Mainly I have no noise filter, I hear everything, from every direction all at once, which can get a little overwhelming. I always wondered why I'm permanently plugged into headphones and now I know. It's the only way I can block things out. There are also a few other sensory things from touch to bright lights but other than that I'm able to manage it o.k. Knowing what it is was half the battle, I can be a little easier on myself ;D
I seem to have mastered the art of typing while my talons are drying, not a dink or smudge in sight. I've gone for a dusky sage green this time, I usually like the red and pink polishes so can't work out if mouldy green makes me look like one of the living dead or not :D. Have a lovely weekend people, all of a sudden I have a strange craving for braaaainsssss. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie you have lots of good news here, and where some details aren't ideal you are managing things very well. Great work on your part.
Hi Sadie,
I like this update. Though it acknowledges that you have issues that you have to contend with all of the time, There is also the bright outlook you now have in regards to them. You "understand" them and are "in control" of them! You have worked hard to achieve this and now that you have. You can deal with and work around them. You demeanor is much much better, hopeful and more confident. These qualities show Sadie. You have made much progress since we met. You are also more supporting of others than you were way back then. You have been very supporting of me and for that I thank you Hun. ((((Hugs))). Keep up that good work Sadie.
Hugs,
Laurie
Nice to see you are doing well I do think about you and hope you are OK when it goes quite. Sage green nails have been looking for some to go with my earrings and necklace and panel van!!!
Quote from: Kendra on June 22, 2018, 01:20:49 AM
Sadie you have lots of good news here, and where some details aren't ideal you are managing things very well. Great work on your part.
Thanks Kendra :) I had another good day today, I've been in the wilderness of late but getting back to my old self.
Hope you are well, it's been a huge year for you and I've taken so much encouragement from your journey.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on June 22, 2018, 02:10:26 AM
Hi Sadie,
I like this update. Though it acknowledges that you have issues that you have to contend with all of the time, There is also the bright outlook you now have in regards to them. You "understand" them and are "in control" of them! You have worked hard to achieve this and now that you have. You can deal with and work around them. You demeanor is much much better, hopeful and more confident. These qualities show Sadie. You have made much progress since we met. You are also more supporting of others than you were way back then. You have been very supporting of me and for that I thank you Hun. ((((Hugs))). Keep up that good work Sadie.
Hugs,
Laurie
Aw, thanks Laurie, you too have kept me on the straight and narrow, narrowed my beam when my focus goes all fuzzy.
I had a lovely parting meeting with my therapist yesterday. She gave me the warmest hug that I've ever had and said she'll keep in touch. I'll remember her with great fondness. So I'm definitely in a much better place than I was a few years back. I'll miss our monthly sessions I'm sure, but she's given me enough tools and wisdom to stand tall in the world again ;D
Hope you are well and giving the bureaucrats what for with all the name changes shenanigans.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: davina61 on June 22, 2018, 03:17:36 PM
Nice to see you are doing well I do think about you and hope you are OK when it goes quite. Sage green nails have been looking for some to go with my earrings and necklace and panel van!!!
Don't worry if it all goes quiet on the Sadie front Davina, I'm usually just working through stuff, or just need some space.
Mostly I'm o.k. I'll definitely say if I wasn't. Thanks for thinking of me, you're a good girl with a big heart.
Ha, the Sage green is growing on me, I'm not sure if it's making me any wiser though. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
That's all sounding good Sadie,
I still catch up with my therapists occasionally for a coffee.
They all seem to have problems that they want to discuss with me :laugh:
Keep well and keep fighting!
Quote from: Cindy on June 23, 2018, 04:55:46 PM
That's all sounding good Sadie,
I still catch up with my therapists occasionally for a coffee.
They all seem to have problems that they want to discuss with me :laugh:
Keep well and keep fighting!
Lol, my therapist kept saying I taught her a lot about life. For me therapy was never one sided, we both learned from each other. I shall miss her a lot.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Yes dear I know you have you time but that wont stop my hoping you are OK
Quote from: davina61 on June 26, 2018, 02:22:01 PM
Yes dear I know you have you time but that wont stop my hoping you are OK
Thank you Davina, you really have a big heart for us waifs and strays :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Been a busy week for me with one thing or another.
Running's going well, but I've had to get up at first light because by 9am its toasty hear in the U.K. Nothing worse than getting sweaty sun block in your eyes.
Been doing some graphics for a local charity and also had another meeting with the ladies at the autistic group. I got a "hi Sadie" from reception when I bounced through the door which made me smile.
I seem to have settled into the vegan diet now, so far so good. I do seem to have a lot more energy, which I guess is expected with all those carbs. Getting used to the fibre was the tough part, or should I say fart. But thankfully that has quietened down now ;D I thought I was going vegan to help the planet but I think I single handedly destroyed half the ozone layer. :o
Need to go shopping for some new foundation tomorrow. All this sun has given me a tan despite all my best efforts to stay covered and protected. Factor 50 phooey. So it's a new colour match test and maybe some knew lipstick to complement my new complexion. Any excuse.
Have a lovely weekend ladies,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
Glad to see the running is going well. About all I can do is think about how nice it would be if I could run. Not likely when each CT scan reading has another greater severity level comment for my emphysema. I believe the last one put it as "extensive". *sigh*. well that's what smoking for 40-50 years will get you.
I am also glad to see you doing some charitable work and sticking with the women's group. All in all it sounds like you've have a pretty good week, Hun. Good for you.
As for that diet thing I will keep my comments to myself. Do try not to deplete that ozone layer. The rest of us have to live here too.
Hugs Sadie,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 30, 2018, 01:42:48 AM
Hi Sadie,
Glad to see the running is going well. About all I can do is think about how nice it would be if I could run. Not likely when each CT scan reading has another greater severity level comment for my emphysema. I believe the last one put it as "extensive". *sigh*. well that's what smoking for 40-50 years will get you.
I am also glad to see you doing some charitable work and sticking with the women's group. All in all it sounds like you've have a pretty good week, Hun. Good for you.
As for that diet thing I will keep my comments to myself. Do try not to deplete that ozone layer. The rest of us have to live here too.
Hugs Sadie,
Laurie
Sorry to hear about the emphysema Laurie, that doesn't sound good at all. I too spent much of my life in a cloud of smoke, hope you manage to get things stabilised.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on June 29, 2018, 03:43:01 PM
Need to go shopping for some new foundation tomorrow. All this sun has given me a tan despite all my best efforts to stay covered and protected. Factor 50 phooey. So it's a new colour match test and maybe some knew lipstick to complement my new complexion. Any excuse.
Have a lovely weekend ladies,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Nothing like a some new lippy and foundation to make a girl feel better about herself. I think these things are important. Nice to hear the running and diet are working for you...
I agree sunblock sweating into your eyes stings like a...like a...well it stings lets just say that ..
Take care
Liz
@Shy Dear Sadie:
Oh sister, where art thou?
Your readers and followers are starving for information about how you are doing?
Are you still doing your regular running?
... and tell me how you are doing with your vegan diet.... what? you don't eat meat???
How is your battle going with the bureaucrats ... getting your legal name changed? Still issues there?
I really miss your postings, comments and your signature "sign off"
"Peace and love and all that good stuff"Hugs and well wishes to you... Please come back to your thread, you are much missed here.
Danielle
Sorry for not being around people, it's been a weird few months for me.
It's getting close, or I think it's getting close to my first GC appointment and I needed to spend some time alone to stop, think and take stock.
I know I go AWOL sometimes, it's just the way I am.
Soooo, i've managed to teach myself the fundamentals of web design over the past few months. I had a charity contact me for help with their site and so have been trying to get my head around learning HTML, CSS and a little Java Script.
My old 2009 Mac also finally gave up and went south, so I was off line for a while.
Anywho, hope you are all doing well, just letting you know I'm o.k.
I'm a little lost, it's a bit like having no identity waiting for the GC, I'm certainly starting to feel it now for sure. I should change my name really, that would relieve a lot of the issues with the bureaucrats, but I always said I'd wait to see a professional first. I hope it's not too long now, I'm too scared to phone up and ask. How soppy am I ;D
I'll catch up soon, my elderly mum's just had a fall so my attentions are focused that way, she's o.k but badly broken her arm, which at her age isn't a good thing. She's also the worst patient in the world!!! Trying to get her to rest and take time to heal is like walking up an escalator the wrong way. She's a tough one my mum.
Sorry for the disjointed, ramble post. I've got what we Brits call a 'wooly brain!' just now, even if we did originally pinch the expression from the Aussies. Off now to make some peanut butter toast and munch on a mango. Yes, I'm still vegan. lost over 2 stone.
The running was a non-starter this year, I try to do 20mile weeks, but my head is just not in it for reasons above ^. It's not the sort of thing you can force without getting injured. I'll start fresh in the new year.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
@Shy Dear Sadie: HEY....
YOU HAVE RETURNED !!!!!
It is so very good to see and read your long awaited update....
When are you estimating that you will be ready to arrange your GC appointment?? This is exciting news for certain.
That is so neat that you are honing your web design skills....
....and you already have a charity that wants your help with their site!!!!
So, what you did you replace your old 2009 Apple Mac with? It was past time to upgrade for sure.
I am sorry to hear about your mom...
...falling and especially at older ages is not a good thing... and a broken arm too!
It is great that you were able to lose some weight in the last few months... oh yeah, if you get back into running, that will obviously help with your weight loss ... but I know from experience that once one gets out of the habit of exercising regularly it can be very difficult to get back into the mindset to start up again. As you said, it could be something you start up again in the new year.... consider it a New Year's resolution!!!
Again, thank you from coming back from your 4 month long self-imposed sabbatical leave... you were definitely missed,
I for sure definitely missed seeing your postings. Welcome back, your followers are happy again.
... and I will borrow your sign off phrase once again...
Peace and love and all that good stuff,Hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Hello love ,glad your "OK" , Its a shame about your mum but sounds like a tuff one so should pull through (bit like mine!!) . Good news on the weight , dismal failure here. I should hear from GIC soon as well, Feb/March time according to lady I spoke to when telling them about name change. Now you have found your key board don't be a stranger as you have been missed . XXXXXXXXXX and hugs
Sadie!! I am so glad to see you post. Sounds like you're thinking about a lot of things and I hope you continue to do well. And losing all that weight - awesome accomplishment!
Sorry to hear about your mum's falling and broken arm, a reminder for all of us to appreciate our health.
Really great to see you back here. You just made my day.
Kendra
Thanks for the welcome back ladies. :)
Well I picked up the courage to phone the GC and found I've go to wait at least another year. That will be 3 years total but may be more.
I'm a bit sad, but at least I know now. They are doing their best to stop the system from imploding so I'll just have to put my plans on hold a little while longer. It feels like I've reached a place of quiet resignation that this is going to take a while.:D
I'm just going to forget about all things transition and get on with my life. I can't keep wishing time away like this, I'm not getting any younger and time is precious!
So onwards and upwards, it's a nice sunny day, I have a roof over my head, I've got my health and I don't live in a war zone. I will think I do o.k. all things considered. My time will come. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie Missed your postings...great to see you back!
Take care
Liz
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Hi Sadie,
I too am glad to see you back and posting. I am saddened about the news you have another year to go. But you have made a good decision not to put your life on hold while you wait. Don't give up hope though Hun.
I hope your mom is healing well. I also hope you are well too.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on November 05, 2018, 02:35:16 AM
Hi Sadie,
I too am glad to see you back and posting. I am saddened about the news you have another year to go. But you have made a good decision not to put your life on hold while you wait. Don't give up hope though Hun.
I hope your mom is healing well. I also hope you are well too.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
I'm o.k. Laurie.
I wasn't going to say anything about waiting times, but this is 'real life' experience thread and this is my personal experience of a trans woman trying to get help living in the U.K. It's just the way things are. I really feel for the GC workers, it must be hard for them too.
Mum's o.k. We're back up the hospital on Wednesday to see if she'll need an op. or not, but she's in good spirits.
Hope you are well,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Not a good day today. Had some abuse in town, not serious enough to worry me, but just didn't need it just now.
I can feel the black dog is snapping at my heals again so I'm doing my best to keep busy and on top of things. It will pass.
I'm at the hospital with my mum tomorrow about her arm to see if she needs surgery or not. I hope she's o.k. It is all a bit of a worry at her age.
I might go to the local trans group this Saturday. I haven't been for a while, mainly because I find social situations difficult, but I think it will do me some good to be with my people for a while.
Had my brows threaded today which made me feel a little better. Sometimes it's the little things that make a big difference. :)
anyway, it's time for bed, so I'll wish you all a good night and a pleasant dreams.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
@Shy Dear Sadie:Your update, is YOUR update, good news or bad news, it is what it is.
So sorry to read about your not-so-good day...
...abuse in town or anywhere or from anyone is not very nice to receive.
Ahhh, having your brows threaded and/or other beauty salon treatments is valuable pampering for us that can heal our spiritis... it can make a big difference in uplifting our mood.
I trust that all goes OK with your mother at the hospital tomorrow... I trust that the doctors will give her the best treatment for her broken arm... the older we get, the more difficult and slower is the healing process.
Oh, and yes, getting involved again in your trans group will be a good thing for you, to be around like-minded people.
I trust that you will get a good rest tonight.
and to again borrow your sign-off phrase..........
"Peace and love and all that good stuff."Hugs and well wishes, and thank you for sharing your thoughts.,
Danielle
Sadie I'm sorry to hear you didn't have a great day but - consider you have so many more resources and options now compared to the past. We are here with you. And best wishes for your mom's arm, hoping for a speedy recovery.
Quote from: Kendra on November 06, 2018, 08:33:59 PM
Sadie I'm sorry to hear you didn't have a great day but - consider you have so many more resources and options now compared to the past. We are here with you. And best wishes for your mom's arm, hoping for a speedy recovery.
Thank you for the wishes Kendra, but my reality is that I haven't had access to anything and nor will I for the foreseeable future. I'm tired, so probably shouldn't be posting here.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Mum is not going to need surgery, which is a relief. She may lose some mobility but not so much to be disabling.
Thank you all for your wishes :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on November 07, 2018, 02:03:54 PM
Mum is not going to need surgery, which is a relief. She may lose some mobility but not so much to be disabling.
Thank you all for your wishes :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
@Shy Dear Sadie:This is certainly very good news the you reported.
I am very happy for you and for your mother....
So, how is your day going today for you, better than yesterday hopefully ???
Thanks for updating us.
Hugs and continued well wishes,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on November 07, 2018, 02:43:19 PM
@Shy
Dear Sadie:
This is certainly very good news the you reported.
I am very happy for you and for your mother....
So, how is your day going today for you, better than yesterday hopefully ???
Thanks for updating us.
Hugs and continued well wishes,
Danielle
Thank you Danielle, it's been a little weight lifted.
peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie that's awesome news!
Thanks Kendra, for the past few weeks I've had to do the duck paddling frantically underwater analogy whilst trying to manage my own feelings of disappointment on top of family and life issues.
I feel a little better today. My dad has shortened my name to Sade (as in Jade) which was nice. It shows he's much more comfortable with me now. :D
I feel like it would have been so much easier to have put on the male mask and forget everything, but the strange thing about living full time for the past few years is that there's seems to be no space left to pop back in and hide ;D That would just seem weird! I guess it's one of those lessons that can only come with experience and time. Or at least for me it has been.
Anyway, the trustees for the charity I've been doing the design work for have approved and are very happy with my efforts. This is all because I'm able to be myself. They only know me as Sadie. It's my first achievement of living a productive, authentic life. It's not all about transition anymore, that's just for the dysphoria and making me feel more comfortable in my own skin. The real important stuff is that people get to know the real me.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie that's awesome your dad is growing comfortable with who you really are.
I was not expecting any acceptance from my mom or dad and was surprised how well they responded when I came out my parents last summer (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,226090.0.html). So when it was time to legally change my name, I asked my parents to choose my new middle name. My dad immediately said "Faye" which is the female version of his middle name (Fay).
Hi Sadie,
Just checking in on you again. I saw that your mom doesn't need an operation which is good news. Your dad sounds like he is accepting you better and as you said becoming more comfortable. Though I do have some concern over the shortened name. Seem I have seen Sade before somewhere, perhaps on a marquis somewhere.
But I think the best news for us is with your design work and them getting it approved. It is great that you can be accepted as yourself there. That my dear is fantastic! Keep up making that great progress and don't forget to pop in and give us updates regardless of the situations you find yourself in. We would like to know what is happening with you. Yes, we are a nosy group.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Kendra on November 09, 2018, 07:37:59 PM
Sadie that's awesome your dad is growing comfortable with who you really are.
I was not expecting any acceptance from my mom or dad and was surprised how well they responded when I came out my parents last summer (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,226090.0.html). So when it was time to legally change my name, I asked my parents to choose my new middle name. My dad immediately said "Faye" which is the female version of his middle name (Fay).
Your dad chose well. I always liked the name Fay :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on November 09, 2018, 10:08:13 PM
Hi Sadie,
Just checking in on you again. I saw that your mom doesn't need an operation which is good news. Your dad sounds like he is accepting you better and as you said becoming more comfortable. Though I do have some concern over the shortened name. Seem I have seen Sade before somewhere, perhaps on a marquis somewhere.
But I think the best news for us is with your design work and them getting it approved. It is great that you can be accepted as yourself there. That my dear is fantastic! Keep up making that great progress and don't forget to pop in and give us updates regardless of the situations you find yourself in. We would like to know what is happening with you. Yes, we are a nosy group.
Hugs,
Laurie
Lol, I'm more of a mamquis than a marquis and it's Sade (as in Jade) not Sade (as in yard)! ;D
Hope you are well Laurie, I'll try to catch up with everyone when I have time, it's just a bit full on in Sadie world atm.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Just a little update, but really not very trans. related.
Still got my head buried in learning code, they say the first three months are the hardest, but I'm slowly getting the swing of things and learning three languages now.:) I think there's only so many levels of abstraction me little noggin' can manage before I start talking in code ;D
I'm really living the life of a hermit atm. But enjoy my little shopping trips for food and essentials where I'm totally happy just to be myself. The whole I'm trans. thing has gone from whaaaaaa to meh. It's back to normal life, bills, and trying to keep a roof over my head.
I don't have any kind of clinical contact anymore, stopped seeing my therapist and doctor. It seemed a bit pointless when the issue is out in the open but with no help on the horizon. There's only so much 'keep taking the pills' I can swallow. Just need the right kind of pills and patches and I'll be happy. This wait was starting to damage me, so I've let it all go, 'ke sera sera'.
Mum's doing o.k. and sister keeps sending me holiday pics from an isolated island in the Maldives. Wish I was there with her watching the flying fish from the veranda ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie
Great to see you dropping by. You sound a bit flat at the moment I hope you are Okay. I can understand being busy especially when it comes to learning coding. I learnt one language when I was studying IT a few years ago and it nearly drove me insane but you say this is your third!! Oh heck...I do understand why you are feeling like you do about it.
You don't seem all that bothered that you don't have any clinical contact? I hope you don't have too much longer to wait I know that is always the difficult part.
Take care
Liz
Hi, Sadie!
I used to use coding work as my Great Escape from gender dysphoria. I found that when I was buried in a project, living that hermit lifestyle, and thinking software (sometimes to the point that I was simulating it in my head!), that it didn't bother me so much.
I was a heck of a good engineer, designing, coding, and troubleshooting by burying myself in projects. When I retired I lost that mechanism for dodging the increasingly severe dysphoria, and ultimately had to accept myself and transition.
I'm glad you have this project, learning these languages, to dig into for now. I understand how that helps!
Hugs, Michelle P.
Hi ladies,
I had my eye brows threaded at the mall in a little shop and I am hooked. Asked to make the kind of masculine and feminine the first time the second time I said the hell with it make them look very feminine and she did and I Love love it. And today when I got home from work my SO had left me a huge red Ultra box kit of all kind of goodies And some brushes. Now that's what I am talking about. Now to learn how to use it so I don't look like Mimi from the Drew Carey show.
AJ
Hi Sadie,
I am glad you stopped by to give us and update. I agree with Liz that your update isn't the best of news and sounds like you are pretty much giving up on getting to where you can transition as you want. That my dear, is not something we like to see. It raises our concern for you and your well being. I can understand the frustrations you are encountering and that it is having a negative impact on your life. But to just throw in the towel.... well Hun, that is bothersome. I, we, want nothing more than to see you succeed in your endeavors.
I'm glad your Mom and sister are doing okay. If you do run off to that island can you stop by and pick me up on the way? You can drop me off on an uninhabited deserted island as long as I can find food and water. I that that will serve my needs nicely.
Hey girl hang in there will ya?
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: LizK on November 29, 2018, 04:44:39 PM
Hi Sadie
Great to see you dropping by. You sound a bit flat at the moment I hope you are Okay. I can understand being busy especially when it comes to learning coding. I learnt one language when I was studying IT a few years ago and it nearly drove me insane but you say this is your third!! Oh heck...I do understand why you are feeling like you do about it.
You don't seem all that bothered that you don't have any clinical contact? I hope you don't have too much longer to wait I know that is always the difficult part.
Take care
Liz
Thanks Liz :)
I am a bit low and probably have lost my direction a little. I'll bounce back, I usually figure things out.
Hope you are well in that upside-down world of yours ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Michelle_P on November 29, 2018, 06:34:28 PM
Hi, Sadie!
I used to use coding work as my Great Escape from gender dysphoria. I found that when I was buried in a project, living that hermit lifestyle, and thinking software (sometimes to the point that I was simulating it in my head!), that it didn't bother me so much.
I was a heck of a good engineer, designing, coding, and troubleshooting by burying myself in projects. When I retired I lost that mechanism for dodging the increasingly severe dysphoria, and ultimately had to accept myself and transition.
I'm glad you have this project, learning these languages, to dig into for now. I understand how that helps!
Hugs, Michelle P.
Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing Michelle, learning something new and redirecting my focus instead of wallowing in dysphoria. Usually by the end of the day I'm too tired to do or think about anything, which for the moment is the best place for me. I'm sure everything will work itself out in the end.
Thanks for looking in, it helps to know that you approached things in a similar way. :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Anjanette Miranda on November 29, 2018, 07:31:25 PM
Hi ladies,
I had my eye brows threaded at the mall in a little shop and I am hooked. Asked to make the kind of masculine and feminine the first time the second time I said the hell with it make them look very feminine and she did and I Love love it. And today when I got home from work my SO had left me a huge red Ultra box kit of all kind of goodies And some brushes. Now that's what I am talking about. Now to learn how to use it so I don't look like Mimi from the Drew Carey show.
AJ
Yes, I enjoy my monthly threading, it's one of those little things that makes a huge difference ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on November 30, 2018, 01:09:59 AM
Hi Sadie,
I am glad you stopped by to give us and update. I agree with Liz that your update isn't the best of news and sounds like you are pretty much giving up on getting to where you can transition as you want. That my dear, is not something we like to see. It raises our concern for you and your well being. I can understand the frustrations you are encountering and that it is having a negative impact on your life. But to just throw in the towel.... well Hun, that is bothersome. I, we, want nothing more than to see you succeed in your endeavors.
I'm glad your Mom and sister are doing okay. If you do run off to that island can you stop by and pick me up on the way? You can drop me off on an uninhabited deserted island as long as I can find food and water. I that that will serve my needs nicely.
Hey girl hang in there will ya?
Hugs,
Laurie
Hi Laurie :)
No towel throwing yet, I'm still full time, biding my time. It's just hard sometimes to watch my life drift away in limbo land. I have done all I can do, everything else is out of my control. I'm Sadie, that's for life ;D
Hope you are well,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie! Coding does well to take my mind off of things. One other thing I do is learning to play new instrument. I've played guitar for years but never had the chance to learn piano until now. The only drawback is I'm not always in the mood.
After retiring, with all the extra time on my hands, the only thing that helped stop my gender dysphoria was to begin my transitioning.
Stay positive Sadie!
Donica.
Understand as stuck in limbo waiting for GIC to send appointment, should be Feb / March time but who knows?? Was thinking of drumming lessons but as you may have seen wrist is damaged so will try and put my energy into voice training. Every day normal for Sadie, now that's what its all about. Hugs and XXXXXs
Quote from: Donica on December 01, 2018, 10:01:32 AM
Hi Sadie! Coding does well to take my mind off of things. One other thing I do is learning to play new instrument. I've played guitar for years but never had the chance to learn piano until now. The only drawback is I'm not always in the mood.
After retiring, with all the extra time on my hands, the only thing that helped stop my gender dysphoria was to begin my transitioning.
Stay positive Sadie!
Donica.
Yes, I used to play guitar a lot, I had an old steel dobro and played old blues and a little ragtime.
A full transition is my wish but I live in the U.K. and getting any help can take years. I live full time though but that doesn't really help with the dysphoria that much. A lot of mine is physical.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: davina61 on December 02, 2018, 07:31:15 AM
Understand as stuck in limbo waiting for GIC to send appointment, should be Feb / March time but who knows?? Was thinking of drumming lessons but as you may have seen wrist is damaged so will try and put my energy into voice training. Every day normal for Sadie, now that's what its all about. Hugs and XXXXXs
Hi Davina :)
I haven't really been keeping up with folks threads, everybody seems to be moving forward and I'm stuck in a holding pattern, so I've just tried to distance myself from all things transition. Sorry to hear about your wrist.
When I phoned my GC last month they had just started to see people from May 2016. It said a 16month wait on my acceptance letter meaning I should have been seen in October. I think I can safely double the wait now. Like you said 'who knows?' It is what it is, I'm sure they are doing their best.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Mum had her cast off today, so that little episode is over. They just need to find out why she keeps falling now, hopefully it's nothing too serious.
I finished the website I was building this morning. Just need to do some browser testing and prefixes but from knowing nothing about web design to learning two markup languages and some java script. I've also learned a lot about accessibility concerns for the disabled, best practice and making everything mobile friendly.
I used a style called BEM to keep everything modular and interchangeable. Phew, it's been quite an experience, I hope they like my efforts and there aren't too many bugs to work out when it goes live.
I also had quite a well know electronic music artist comment favourably on one of my noodlings which gave me a bit of a boost.
So lots of pluses this week, sadly it isn't making much of a dent in my dysphoria which kind of takes the edge of things a little, i don't think i'll ever get used to it.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
@Shy Dear Sadie:It has been most enjoyable meeting you on the Forums.
I have very much enjoyed swapping comments and thoughts with you.
Obviously there are some bumps in the road that all of us experience so we continue to hang on for an exciting ride.
I have so much enjoyed your updates as you continue on in your journey.
Thank you for feeling free to share your life events with all of us.
I am so very happy that I found you and your thread on the Forums this last year and I will be eagerly following your upcoming reports and updates in the New Year in 2019.
Wishing you a very
HAPPY NEW YEAR in 2019...
Hugs and as always, well wishes.
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on December 31, 2018, 04:40:29 PM
@Shy
Dear Sadie:
It has been most enjoyable meeting you on the Forums.
I have very much enjoyed swapping comments and thoughts with you.
Obviously there are some bumps in the road that all of us experience so we continue to hang on for an exciting ride.
I have so much enjoyed your updates as you continue on in your journey.
Thank you for feeling free to share your life events with all of us.
I am so very happy that I found you and your thread on the Forums this last year and I will be eagerly following your upcoming reports and updates in the New Year in 2019.
Wishing you a very HAPPY NEW YEAR in 2019...
Hugs and as always, well wishes.
Thank you for the wishes Danielle :) I also wish you a prosperous and happy new year!
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Happy new year to you , may you get all your wishes come true.XXXX
Thank you Davina :) Happy new year to you too, I wish you peace, happiness and health.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi people :), for those that are interested I've been in touch with my assigned GC again and the waiting times have just imploded. in fact the list of appointments haven't moved at all for many months.
Unless the system changes it's going to be years before I get my first appointment. They are now quoting 29months but it's easy to do the math to know that is just a false hope.
When, or if I get my first appointment it will then be another 26 month wait to see a doctor to get access to any kind of treatment.
I don't know what to say really, I could get angry but really I'm just sad. This doesn't only effect me and many others, it effects my family too.
I have been a little pro active and contacted the NHS about my concearns who responded with plans in the making but nothing that filled me with any confidence. No time frames or calls to action, just one department waiting to hear from another department before they can do anything. But at least I had my say, politely and with dignity, It was important for me not to be invisible.
Anyway I'm o.k. I think it's the last I'll say on the matter because it's not edifying or positive for people to read. I know I have support from everyone, I'm not alone and that's enough for me. I feel a makeover coming on so off "Salon Hunting" That I can do ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Good to see you are OK. I should have my first appointment in March but not holding my breath!!
Quote from: Shy on January 15, 2019, 04:42:13 AM
Hi people :), for those that are interested I've been in touch with my assigned GC again and the waiting times have just imploded. in fact the list of appointments haven't moved at all for many months.
Unless the system changes it's going to be years before I get my first appointment. They are now quoting 29months but it's easy to do the math to know that is just a false hope.
When, or if I get my first appointment it will then be another 26 month wait to see a doctor to get access to any kind of treatment.
I don't know what to say really, I could get angry but really I'm just sad. This doesn't only effect me and many others, it effects my family too.
I have been a little pro active and contacted the NHS about my concearns who responded with plans in the making but nothing that filled me with any confidence. No time frames or calls to action, just one department waiting to hear from another department before they can do anything. But at least I had my say, politely and with dignity, It was important for me not to be invisible.
Anyway I'm o.k. I think it's the last I'll say on the matter because it's not edifying or positive for people to read. I know I have support from everyone, I'm not alone and that's enough for me. I feel a makeover coming on so off "Salon Hunting" That I can do ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie
Wow what a wait over 2 years and I thought our wait times were bad. Is there is any way for you to circumvent the long waiting list? I know for most of us it really is a matter of "hurry up and wait" I hope you are well.
Take care
Liz
Quote from: LizK on January 15, 2019, 06:44:48 PM
Hi Sadie
Wow what a wait over 2 years and I thought our wait times were bad. Is there is any way for you to circumvent the long waiting list? I know for most of us it really is a matter of "hurry up and wait" I hope you are well.
Take care
Liz
To be honest I've stopped counting the days now Liz. I've always treasured our NHS but something's not right. I hope they fix it soon but it's unhealthy for me to start thinking that way so I'm just going to forget about it and get on with my life.
I'm full time already. I've done all of the challenging stuff and answered many of the difficult questions. I'm starting to build a relationship with my parents for the first time in my life. I'm doing charity work and looking after my health. I'm going to focus my energies on what is good and wholesome in my life not on the things that are out of my control.
Feeling a lot better today, I have been in a dark place for sure, but nothing lasts forever and I've been in worse places. I just took my eye off the ball and let things get on top of me. Anyway Spring is on it's way and that always recharges my batteries with the promise of new beginnings :D. Nobody could say our lives are dull and uninteresting ;D
Hope you are well Liz, I will catch up soon when I'm a little more bright eyed and bushy tailed.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I've been trying to get on top of things the past few days. I feel a little better, a quiet resignation kind of better.
I don't want special treatment, just equal treatment. Part of me is thinking I chose the wrong time to come out, not that it was a choice at that stage. It's a strange journey, maybe it will be the making of me in more ways than one, who knows.
I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday, I'll inform him of the situation with the GC. He's a good man, but his hands are tied to the extent that he can help me. It must be really hard for him too, our health system is under so much pressure.
I've got some more charity work to do over the weekend so I'm going to be busy, which is good, albeit a little challenging as my brain is a little frazzled just now. Being trapped in a body that is trapped inside a health system isn't the place I'd expected to be in two years after my referral.
Anyway, enough moaning, I know it's selfish but I don't really have any other outlet. I do apologise, I'm just decompressing so I thank you all for your patience and wisdom.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
@Shy Dear Sadie:It is never the wrong time to transition and come-out.... rather I think
"It's about time we finally transition!!" ... and so very many of us have the thought of
"Why didn't we do this sooner?" So many of us, me included, procrastinated for so many reasons, some very good reasons like relationships, friendships, employment considerations, and last but not least, the financial impact of transitioning.
For sure, our transition and coming-out journeys are indeed, as you stated,
"strange journeys" but it is
our journey to enjoy the successes and the happy times.... and to endure the frustrations and the disappointments.
I am glad that you are getting your mind off of some of the above issues by volunteering for some charity work... kudos to you.
Hey girl, no apology needed... please don't worry about being here and moaning about your disclosed issues that you are dealing with at the moment. The Forums here, along with the many like-minded members that read and follow your thread are here to lend our ear to listen and our shoulder to lean on when you are facing life's difficulties. When your news is good, we will always be here to rejoice with you. I believe it is very good personal therapy to write out what one is going though and being able to ponder these things either by yourself or as you feel so led, with others.
Thank you for your update report on your thread.
I am always eager to read about your life endeavors as you feel free to share them with us.
Hugs and as always, well wishes...
...and as I heard you say many times...
"Peace and love and all that good stuff."Danielle
Thanks for everyone for supporting me over the past few years, but for many reasons I've decided to leave the forum.
This is isn't an easy decision but I don't seem to be able to find the right words anymore. Asberger's doesn't help, it's very hard for me to navigate the unpredictability of social media.
Anyway it was an honer to meet you all, a very special moment in my life that I'll always treasure.
Thank you for reaching out and supporting me. Thanks to Susan and the team for bringing people together. It's a wonderful vision and the only support available for me.
I hope I added something to the conversation and wasn't too much of a pain. Take care people.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Sadie, this is sad news for me. I will miss you as I am sure many here will. I have and will continue to look for your posts here. I do hope you will return. Whatever you do Sadie, do it well and live life well too.
Love and Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Shy on January 18, 2019, 04:28:44 PM
Thanks for everyone for supporting me over the past few years, but for many reasons I've decided to leave the forum.
This is isn't an easy decision but I don't seem to be able to find the right words anymore. Asberger's doesn't help, it's very hard for me to navigate the unpredictability of social media.
Anyway it was an honer to meet you all, a very special moment in my life that I'll always treasure.
Thank you for reaching out and supporting me. Thanks to Susan and the team for bringing people together. It's a wonderful vision and the only support available for me.
I hope I added something to the conversation and wasn't too much of a pain. Take care people.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Thanks
@Sadie I have really enjoyed our numerous interactions and have valued your input. I hope you find the peace you are looking for and I for one, will be sad to see you go.
Take care
Liz
You take good care of yourself and live life to the full. If we ever meet theres a BIG hug waiting for you. peace and love to you XXXXXX
SNIPPED:
Quote from: Shy on January 18, 2019, 04:28:44 PM
Thanks for everyone for supporting me over the past few years, but for many reasons I've decided to leave the forum.
- - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - -
Sadie
@Shy My dear Sadie:What? ???
I am so very saddened to read your last posting...
Over the time I have been here on the Forums I have so very much enjoyed reading your posts and updates...
... and of course when I finish reading each of your various posts I am always looking to read your standard complimentary closing ... "Peace and love and all that good stuff"
Just saying !!!Hugs and well wishes to you,
Danielle
Thank you all for your kind words and support.
I have news.
I have someone that is going to write a letter to the branch of the NHS trust involved with my care to find out why the waiting times for the CG are increasing so dramatically. Hopefully that will shed some light on things.
I'm going to write a letter to my local MP to make to explain my personal situation. I'm not sure it will make a difference, but I don't want to be invisible anymore. There is a danger that long waiting times for transgender people in the U.K. will become normalised if left unchallenged.
I want to stay on here, it's been my only means of support, but I have a high functioning autism as some of you know, and find social interaction challenging at the best of times.
I'm fighting now, hopefully the momentum will build and I'll find my place in this world again. When I first came out the last on my mind was that I'd be lost in a system for years at a such a vulnerable stage in my life.
Anyway that's it, i'm still very emotional and raw, but that will fade with a bit of distance and a good cup of tea. I'm not sure if all this makes me a trans. activist now or not, because I'd make a rubbish one. I'm very shy you know :D
Sorry for being so fickle, I haven't been thinking straight. I have good friends here and I don't want to loose contact with you all.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
@Shy Dear Sadie:I am so very happy to read your UPDATE and to find out that changed your mind and
that you are staying around on the Forums.
YIPPIE !!!I am encouraged on your behalf reading your report about our GC waiting times, your doctor and your plans to write to your MP. Perhaps with other transgenders efforts you can be a big part in changing things for the better for yourself and others in a similar situation in the UK. I will be eagerly looking for your followup reports about these issues.
You are absolutely correct that for many transgenders and many in the LBGTQ community that Susan's Place is a major source of support, encouragement, understanding and latest medical, governmental and political developments that can affect us.
Yes indeed, you should have
a nice hot cup of tea... and perhaps some
chocolate in the form of one of your
tasty baking adventures will help a lot with being on an emotional roller coaster.
Please don't worry about seeing yourself as
"being so fickle" .... very few of us can escape feeling that way from time to time.
As with you, I also have very good friends here and I don't want to lose contact with anyone on the Forums.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for your decision to stay around here.
Peace and love and all that good stuff, (I know, I know, I have just plagiarized your closing line.)
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Hi Sadie,
I understand that being on the site presents a challenge for you. I'll tell you what. You just go ahead a do what you have to do. Just don't say good bye. When you can or need to come on back and let us know how you are doing. I am sure support will be here for you when you need it but just dropping in to say hello once in awhile will be enough for us.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on January 22, 2019, 11:24:33 AM
@Shy
Dear Sadie:
I am so very happy to read your UPDATE and to find out that changed your mind and
that you are staying around on the Forums. YIPPIE !!!
I am encouraged on your behalf reading your report about our GC waiting times, your doctor and your plans to write to your MP. Perhaps with other transgenders efforts you can be a big part in changing things for the better for yourself and others in a similar situation in the UK. I will be eagerly looking for your followup reports about these issues.
You are absolutely correct that for many transgenders and many in the LBGTQ community that Susan's Place is a major source of support, encouragement, understanding and latest medical, governmental and political developments that can affect us.
Yes indeed, you should have a nice hot cup of tea... and perhaps some chocolate in the form of one of your tasty baking adventures will help a lot with being on an emotional roller coaster.
Please don't worry about seeing yourself as "being so fickle" .... very few of us can escape feeling that way from time to time.
As with you, I also have very good friends here and I don't want to lose contact with anyone on the Forums.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for your decision to stay around here.
Peace and love and all that good stuff, (I know, I know, I have just plagiarized your closing line.)
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Thank you Danielle,
I don't know what will become of anything, there are hundreds of people in the U.K. all facing the same long waiting times. I'm just venting because I don't know what else to do. 'Better out than in' as the saying goes.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on January 22, 2019, 10:22:49 PM
Hi Sadie,
I understand that being on the site presents a challenge for you. I'll tell you what. You just go ahead a do what you have to do. Just don't say good bye. When you can or need to come on back and let us know how you are doing. I am sure support will be here for you when you need it but just dropping in to say hello once in awhile will be enough for us.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thanks Laurie,
You know me too well :). I'm going to keep to my small circle of friends on this forum and not get too involved. I hope I can get back to my old playful self soon, but just for now I'm frazzled with it all and can't think clearly.
You have a lovely, perceptive soul Laurie, I appreciate your support. That was just what I needed to hear. :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on January 23, 2019, 05:30:40 AM
You have a lovely, perceptive soul Laurie, I appreciate your support. That was just what I needed to hear. :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
And thank you Sadie for your kind words and thoughtful posts you have brought to this site. It may be difficult for you, Hun, but you do, do it well.
Bunch of hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on January 23, 2019, 02:20:22 PM
And thank you Sadie for your kind words and thoughtful post you have brought to this site. It may be difficult for you, Hun, but you do, do it well.
Bunch of hugs,
Laurie
Laurie,
You look lovely. :)
Chrissy
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 23, 2019, 02:29:04 PM
Laurie,
You look lovely. :)
Chrissy
I agree, but I am known to be biased... ;)
@Sadie
Quite a few of us see and read your posts, but rarely comment. I'm in a different part of the world with a very different support and medical system, no experience that might be relevant to you, and so rarely comment.
But I do see you. Your posts are read, and your presence is always welcome.
With love and respect,
Michelle P.
Welcome back dear, as Laurie said go at your own pace. On my face ache I have a link to UK on line Trans mag (its a forwarded post from a "friend" ) and they have been rattling the cage, we shall see. Hugs and XXXXs
Thank you ladies :).
Been really busy with some more charity work, mainly a set of twelve illustrations for various things, plus a few forms registration forms that I managed to sneak in 'other' and 'prefer not to say' in the gender section along side the male and female checkboxes. I haven't posted them off yet, but I did go off script and i'm curious to see how they'll respond. I'm all for being politically correct, me, as long as it doesn't involve politicians.;D
peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on January 29, 2019, 04:54:51 PM
Thank you ladies :).
Been really busy with some more charity work, mainly a set of twelve illustrations for various things, plus a few forms registration forms that I managed to sneak in 'other' and 'prefer not to say' in the gender section along side the male and female checkboxes. I haven't posted them off yet, but I did go off script and i'm curious to see how they'll respond. I'm all for being politically correct, me, as long as it doesn't involve politicians.;D
peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
@Shy Dear Sadie:Thank you for your update on your thread.
It is so rewarding and a personal blessing for any of us that volunteer to do charity work... Kudos to you.
I love to be involved in charity work, in the winter time, meals for shut-ins, community dinners, cookies and treat plates for giving out to the elderly, etc... and in the summer I try to do several charity runs and charity walks that donate to good local causes.
Regarding not disclosing your gender... that reminds me of an old joke......
A blonde woman was applying for a job and on the form the little write-in box next to the word "Sex"... so in the blank space used to enter the answer, she wrote down "YES" I thought it was cute and hey, I am a blonde woman so I can get away with this telling this joke.
Blondes do have more fun!!!!
Note: If you or any of your readers and followers are offended, I will remove it.
Thanks for keeping us updated,
Hugs and hugs... and just for you: and peace and love and all that good stuff,
Danielle
Hi Sadie ,
Still here and reading your update when you dign to make them. I appreciate each of them. Wishing you well and keep up the good work,Hon.
Hug,
Laurie
Just an update of sorts.
I got a reply from the GC referring to the letter my doc sent then. It's not good, but I expected that it wouldn't be. I don't really want to go into the details, I can't do anything about it so no point moaning about it.
I've also developed sciatica which is isn't pleasant at all and guess what I had a referral letter for physiotherapy and treatment which states it will be a long wait for an appointment so have been left in pain for who knows how long with a side note that if things clear up in the meantime to let them know.
I've been writing some music, which has kept me focused for a short time but can't sit too long at my computer now before the sciatica kicks in and I have to stop. I was never one for feeling sorry for myself but I am starting to feel trapped. It feels like I've lost control of many aspects of my life and worry that my situation as it stands is unsustainable without any kind of help. I can't run at the moment which was always a great healer for me.
Anyway, sorry for the negative post but it's an honest one. It's why I haven't really been active here, I'm just not good company right now, some journeys you have to take on your own in the hope that one day you'll arrive at the destination a better person for the experience.
I wish you all well and hopefully will have some better news in the years to come.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Well no sooner had I finished typing my woeful post above I had a letter droped through the door addressed to Sadie from the physio clinic saying they can fit me in at the end of April.
Not only is it awesome that the NHS is finally recognising me as female but I may actually get some pain relief.
Call it a bad day turned good. I was really getting worried for a while as things seemed to be compounding out of my control.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on March 27, 2019, 07:13:23 AM
Well no sooner had I finished typing my woeful post above I had a letter droped through the door addressed to Sadie from the physio clinic saying they can fit me in at the end of April.
Not only is it awesome that the NHS is finally recognising me as female but I may actually get some pain relief.
Call it a bad day turned good. I was really getting worried for a while as things seemed to be compounding out of my control.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
@Shy Dear Sadie:This is a terrific morning for me to login to the Forums and see 2 new long awaited postings from you... it is always nice to read an update from you!!! 2 months is way too long but of course you only need to post on your thread as you feel comfortable doing.
So, what started out as a woeful post has now turned into a good news update!!! I am very happy for you.
Please don't be a stranger here on the forums, your readers and followers are your biggest fans.... we are always rooting for your success.
Thanks again for your update.
Hugs and best wishes,
Danielle
Congratulations Sadie on the great news!
Hi Sadie
I am so glad you managed an update. I was hoping you would drop by. I am sorry to hear of your difficulty with the GC. Does this mean the delays will,just continue? I know the waiting can be difficult I was lucky I managed to find a Dr that did not have a waiting list.
I am an x nurse and understand just how difficult sciatica can be to manage as it is quite painful and debilitating. Not being able to run must be just adding further anguish to an already difficult situation. I hope your sciatica issues get better soon and you can return to,your therapeutic running.
Please don't think you have to stay away because of the difficulties you are having, can I suggest that because of those difficulties makes and even better eason why you should hang around...a problem shared is quite often a problem halved. We may not be able to do anything but we can listen and maybe even give some suggestions as to what will help...you are not a burden of any kind but a valued member of this community. I hope things get better for you soon.
Take care
Liz
Quote from: LizK on March 27, 2019, 04:41:30 PM
Hi Sadie
I am so glad you managed an update. I was hoping you would drop by. I am sorry to hear of your difficulty with the GC. Does this mean the delays will,just continue? I know the waiting can be difficult I was lucky I managed to find a Dr that did not have a waiting list.
I am an x nurse and understand just how difficult sciatica can be to manage as it is quite painful and debilitating. Not being able to run must be just adding further anguish to an already difficult situation. I hope your sciatica issues get better soon and you can return to,your therapeutic running.
Please don't think you have to stay away because of the difficulties you are having, can I suggest that because of those difficulties makes and even better eason why you should hang around...a problem shared is quite often a problem halved. We may not be able to do anything but we can listen and maybe even give some suggestions as to what will help...you are not a burden of any kind but a valued member of this community. I hope things get better for you soon.
Take care
Liz
Thanks Liz,
If things stay the way they are it will be roughly 4.5 years for my first cg appointment and another 2+ years after that before I get to see a doctor. It's a worry for sure, especially the way things are now in my country. I try not to think about it now to be honest. It is what it is, when my appointment eventually comes through I'll be grateful for any help I can get and I'm sure all of this will be forgotten.
I'm in a lot of physical pain for sure Liz, and have been since January. I'm trying to avoid the stronger pain killers if I can, still trying to stay active with some gentle exercise, but it's getting the better or me to be honest. Some days are better than others.
I hope you are well and at this point I must say goodnight as It's getting late and I needs me beauty sleep.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie