I find that living as a woman there are a lot of situations where topics come up that most cis-gendered girls were taught about growing up, that now everyone expects that I should know already. I am wondering if other people experience this, and if there is a practical list of the things we should know as woman, about being a woman, so we don't sound dumb in conversation.
Examples I can think of,
Conversations about menstruation.
Proper care and fitting of a bra.
Social Faux's with clothing and speach
There are a whole lot more, just having a hard time thinking.
I would really love to hear your feedback on this topic.
Hugs
Mila
Conversation about menstruation, nod head and say nothing. Nobody's
going to fault you for that.
Proper care and fitting of bra. Have at least two good ones, rotate, don't put in dryer
unless its on low heat tumble. Wash in a bag on delicate cycle (or hand wash).
Fitting a bra, total artform; go to store and get yourself fitted by the experts.
Social faux pas with clothing. Well, so many GG's dress badly, not sure you can
use them as judge. I've followed fashion and hairstyle mags and TV fashion mags
since the early 80's, so for me
fashion is like a sixth sense, not every women are so good let me tell you.
I love "what not to wear" or in Canada "Fashion on a dime".
Pregnancy: we studied it is nursing school, I kept my mouth shut. The other girls who dont have kids did too. I sucked at the subject.
Sewing: I know a little.
Following when dancing: (I can't lead)
Eating slower than a guy: we have different ideas about food.
Those are just a few examples I thought of, for now. Somebody else go with it!
A lot of it is too subtile to list, but if you keep your eyes and ears open you can pick it up like I did. There is another part of being a woman that you can only learn by experiencing it. It took me a year.
its all in the experience, lisbeth is right. you learn things, you pick things up, some can be told, heck, mothers are apparently useful for some things... other than that, just go out there and practice, you wont get it right first off, but if you watch yourself, you wont slip too badly, and will learn from that, and from socialising. Nothing helps more than socialising with other girls your age. and thats natal girls, never learn how to be female from a ts woman, youll pick up how they do things, not how things are done, and its like error replication in dna, when it replicate, the error magnifies, who knows how far down the line the truth is, so i say learn from the horses mouth, not the second horse down the stableblock ;)
R :police:
for starters, accept themselves as women and in the case of ts women, forget about the "transsexual" label.
Quote from: nickie on January 06, 2008, 05:22:15 PM
Pregnancy: we studied it is nursing school, I kept my mouth shut. The other girls who dont have kids did too. I sucked at the subject.
Sewing: I know a little.
Following when dancing: (I can't lead)
Eating slower than a guy: we have different ideas about food.
Those are just a few examples I thought of, for now. Somebody else go with it!
Those are great! thanks!
(It is little things like the eating thing that I never knew before transition, that I kinda wished someone would have told me. And yes, I know there are a lot of subtle things, but just being aware of them can make transition so much smoother)
Would love to hear more thoughts.
Mila
Here are a few more...
Take off a bra through a shirt sleeve
Select the right color foundation
Choose the proper people to accompany you to the bathroom at the bar
Change purses with the seasons
Describe the difference between the colors "off white", "bone", and "cream"
Call someone to change a tire
Mix patterns on furniture and clothing
Select a trashy novel for reading at the beach
Keep kids busy in order to go to the bathroom alone
Tell the difference between real Coach purses, and, knock-offs
Prepare an elegant appetizer from random pantry supplies for unannounced company
Discuss the differences between capris and cropped pants
Filch the phone number of a good babysitter from the neighbor
Get makeup off a cell phone screen - Important!!
Make him think it's his idea - Important!
Create 3 or more plausible reasons to "stop by (insert store name)"
Make store bought bake sale goodies look home made
Surprise a child by going to Sonic for a "treat" without him knowing it's because you need a Diet Coke
Peace and love,
Isabelle St-Pierre
Quote from: Isabelle St-Pierre on January 07, 2008, 12:30:32 PM
Make store bought bake sale goodies look home made
[/quote
My dad does that one, he's very skilled at it.
Bra through a sleve is an important skill! :P i agree!
Knowing how to slob down and still look glamorous :P
the right amount of pink decor without looking like your room belongs to a 12yearold with a Busted fettish.
Flirting without looking like a whore.
Celeb gossip... VITAL TO LIFE.
there is a time to wear a dark bra under a light top...
Sewing is major... so is carrying a few safety pins in your handbag (you never know)
The 'sad little girl' routine to get your way...
R :police:
A scary number of these result in being a pathetic stereotype.
My sister and I were raised as identically as possible at home, we both learnt how to sew, we both learnt basic carpentry ect ect.
The more like a stereotypical woman you try to present as if you don't pass perfectly the more you'll stand out as a mrs doubtfire style TV.
It's ok to have a backbone, it's ok to do your own thing and it's ok to not be up to date with "celeb gossip".
Honestly?
Be yourself.
People like to generalize, especially transsexuals about women and what to know as if there is some general cultural similarity with all women. There is not. The truth is everybody is a little different and there are cultural and subcultural divides among women. Realizing that being yourself sometimes is more important then concepts of being a woman that do not hold true to everybody is far more important then chasing after a generality.
Many people miss this point.
Knowing about these things, does not make you a steriotype, consantly, and ONLY thinking about and doing these things does.
thats the point? what should you know?
Girls know thier menstrual cycle.
about pregnancy
the names for all the parts of thier anatomy that boys dont have.
Theres certain things a mother teaches a daughter, then theres obviously girls with no mother. girls raised by a father, orphans, whatever.
Celeb gossip is somewhat vital, not an anal knowlage, but an awareness, it is fun... steriotypically girly? sure, but i tell you one thing
ALL girls know about makup, and fashion to the extent that they wear it. Maybe not full stage makup, or catwalk tones. but To the extent of your personality and look, you will know, same with clothes.
You will have a style, EVERYONE growing up develops a style, it may not be rigid, but there are things you just dont do/cant do, because of your body, taste, self image. Styles can be varied, but you rarely see women shooting from one end of a style extreme to another.
most important thing? relax, youll learn things you need to, and unlike maud, there ARE things you need to know. but thier more basic than assumed.
heck, i doubt a tomboy would have extensive catwalk fashion knowlage...
or a barbie princess know about changing a tyre?
yes women CAN change a tyre, fix thier car/computer/home....
one thing you need to realise, and remember, and the most important thing you need to know. is that you are not some weak idiot. you are strong, and inteligent, and capable, and NO man, will tell you what you can and cant do. this isnt feminism, this is using your own two legs...
want to be a 1950s housewive and obey your husbands every command without question or rest? go back to the 50s ;)
R :police:
Quote from: Rachael on January 08, 2008, 08:08:07 AM
Knowing about these things, does not make you a steriotype, consantly, and ONLY thinking about and doing these things does.
thats the point? what should you know?
Girls know thier menstrual cycle.
about pregnancy
the names for all the parts of thier anatomy that boys dont have.
Theres certain things a mother teaches a daughter, then theres obviously girls with no mother. girls raised by a father, orphans, whatever.
Celeb gossip is somewhat vital, not an anal knowlage, but an awareness, it is fun... steriotypically girly? sure, but i tell you one thing
ALL girls know about makup, and fashion to the extent that they wear it. Maybe not full stage makup, or catwalk tones. but To the extent of your personality and look, you will know, same with clothes.
You will have a style, EVERYONE growing up develops a style, it may not be rigid, but there are things you just dont do/cant do, because of your body, taste, self image. Styles can be varied, but you rarely see women shooting from one end of a style extreme to another.
most important thing? relax, youll learn things you need to, and unlike maud, there ARE things you need to know. but thier more basic than assumed.
heck, i doubt a tomboy would have extensive catwalk fashion knowlage...
or a barbie princess know about changing a tyre?
yes women CAN change a tyre, fix thier car/computer/home....
one thing you need to realise, and remember, and the most important thing you need to know. is that you are not some weak idiot. you are strong, and inteligent, and capable, and NO man, will tell you what you can and cant do. this isnt feminism, this is using your own two legs...
want to be a 1950s housewive and obey your husbands every command without question or rest? go back to the 50s ;)
R :police:
The fact is Celeb gossip is far from a necessity. Some women plain and simply do not see the point in it. It is all dependent on your audience. I see it as no different then sports with guys. (On that matter I know women who know much more about sports then celebrities, and they are very femme.)
Yes, the physical dialog is there that is common, but it is very basic one gets used to it really quickly.
The truth is there are several women I know who can honestly care less about style or makeup. Then again I know those who do have very wide wardrobes where they could look like a butch dyke one day and completely femme the next (my roommate for example).
Beyond the very basic physical dialog, there is cultural and subcultural differences between women. There is not one unifying female culture as some trans women think, while there is some basics and common dialog, knowing that there are differences is a huge step towards transition.
where the hell are you then? if you dont think there is a female culture, you really need to look at things...
I experience a general comradeship with other girls, being able to hold a conversation with your eyebrows, and expression is something guys certainly dont follow, or understand. Women understand women. and if you ever use the ladies room, you'll see that. men dont talk to eachother... yet women who have never met can have a conversation.
Female society is diverse, bitchy, friendly, indifferent, but in a world where sexism is still rife, and women are sex objects. We do band together sometimes and protect our own :) you might learn that.
as for the gos? yeah, its probably something that only matters to those in more popular social circles ::)
R >:D
As far as issues such as sexism. You are right. Like I said, there is a common dialog and experiences regarding certain things such as sexism but far from a common culture among all women. Honestly to suggest such is limiting the range of female expression and also the diversity of different communities.
The truth is there is divisions, and to suggest there is not cultural differences among women is kind of to look at things from the outside looking in. Realizing that there are cultural and subcultural differences among women and that there is nothing wrong with just being yourself is kind of key to assimilating in reality. Yes there is a limited set of experiences, expressions and a common dialog that all women share. But the truth be told that to say there is this general female culture out there is to be a bit...off base and well...limiting. It is to suggest there is a limited set of rules to be female. The truth is the more you act like yourself, the better off you will be.
More popular social circles...give me a break.
As odd as it sounds. I agree with Mawd. She is dead on. We don't agree with much.
PS. I work and live in DC.
Great topic genopunk; there is so much lore we miss out on in early life that its fun just discussing what it is and filling in the gaps of our own knowledge :angel:
We should totally make that a subject of the next podcast :police:
well ofcourse there are subcultures, but there is most deffinately, a common bond amongst women. From my experience atleast. women are generally more open to other women. You can count on a friend to tell you the truth, or to be there for you.
and by popular circles, i meant in my age group, such subject matter is quite popular at university, and even more popular in some circles. I happen to be Union govornment, and a lot, if not most of the girls in the same organisaiton are quite into the goss... if not celebs, atleast fashion and beauty things...
and please dont suggest im seeing things from the outside. Being stealth around other girls, and being either not fully able to pass, or out, and socialising with girls there will be a difference. Women are more open to natal women sadly. and probbly censor themselves around transpeople (ive seen it happen) >< its quite sad...
R :police:
Quote from: Amy T. on January 08, 2008, 11:14:45 AMAs odd as it sounds. I agree with Mawd. She is dead on. We don't agree with much.
Likewise....
Weird.
The old American joke is "Why don't men talk to each other in the bathroom? "That's what the boardroom is for."
But I don't think there is a group of people called 'women' who share a bond and communication with each other that the group called 'men' do not. Class, status, occupation, education and achievement put barriers between people that gender does not always trump. The mid-forties senior partner in a law firm does not have much in common with gang-banger home girl, and I doubt they share the ability of "being able to hold a conversation with {their} eyebrows, and expression." I doubt they even share the same bathroom.
comumunication without words is easy...
and i feel i share a bond with other girls. Try being male, and starting a random conversation with a random bloke... doesnt happen. Thats what i like about being a girl, people just are more friendly, other girls, and boys. Could just be my generation, but i certainly feel quite connected to my peers. one time i went to get some pads and painkillers for a girlfriend having a paticularly bad totm, and the girl in the shop just broke into a periods conversation with me... didnt know her, never seen her,but we had something to talk about together... a male shop assistant wouldnt give a crap if he was in her place, or the shopper was a guy...
R :police:
How old are you Rachael?
Both me and Mawd are well...younger. I am 29, Mawd I think is 19.
I think the perspective you are talking about is very common among older trans women. The idea that women are a singular collective culture.
The "be yourself" idea is often one that is common among those who are younger. We are also more likely to see social and cultural divides among women. As somebody stated here in the most extreme example, there are massive cultural divides that do exist. As much as you see a common bond I just see casual social interactions.
Maybe this comes from being a city girl.
20....
LOL
i didnt say singular culture, i said women can communicate together far more easily than males, because we share a cause :P womankind :D Yeah im a bit of a social feminist, and i really dont give a rats behind irl, it just seems interesting to theorise on the internet.
shows how much attention youve been paying to me to assume me a middleaged woman :P ROFL im just glad your not a cop.
where did you get this 'be yourself' concept? i personally enjoy my life, i have a rich social life, and many friends and im popular. a little social theorising is fun. and i guess it helps if youve socilaised with females on a girl girl level, not, girl ->-bleeped-<- level :)
R >:D
I agree, a few incidents are not a not the stuff of universal law. And far from extreme, that's a pretty everyday deal in a major city where people use public transit to have very different types of people in the same place, or at least, crossing paths. And, a lot of that same stuff exists among guys. Your friend is the person who will tell you the truth, even when you don't want to hear it is true beyond gender, and often, across genders. Guys start random conversations with each other all the time. You are just not seeing it. Sometimes common or shared conditions give rise to that bonding also, people who live in a world where its 'them' and everyone else is a 'civilian' - military sure, but its true for circus people also. And the real cultural divides often preclude all that. Do you think you would share that bonding with a woman of color? Or one who lived in a traditional Islamic culture?
unlike past generations, skin colour, and religion dont register in my eyes. defining them as differnet only perpetuates bigotry and separation and BREAKS any commonality.
R :police:
Good for you, such thoughts and values are not universal however, which makes those differences very real to many. My crews are men and women, afro, white, hispanic, gay, straight, trans, ranging in education from HS to graduate school and ranging in age from 18 to 60 - yet the shared experience of what we do, and the life we have choose seems to trump all of that for the most part. I know that is not how is is for everyone, or everywhere though.
Quote from: Rachael on January 08, 2008, 03:23:36 PM
20....
LOL
i didnt say singular culture, i said women can communicate together far more easily than males, because we share a cause :P womankind :D Yeah im a bit of a social feminist, and i really dont give a rats behind irl, it just seems interesting to theorise on the internet.
shows how much attention youve been paying to me to assume me a middleaged woman :P ROFL im just glad your not a cop.
where did you get this 'be yourself' concept? i personally enjoy my life, i have a rich social life, and many friends and im popular. a little social theorising is fun. and i guess it helps if youve socilaised with females on a girl girl level, not, girl ->-bleeped-<- level :)
R >:D
I am socialized. Like I said. Its different everywhere. Also remember...general names around here sometimes repeat themselves, so its easy for me to forget who is who (especially when I go by icon recognition to distinguish people).
The be yourself concept...that both me and mawd are talking about is fairly common.
You are right CERTAIN women can communicate far more easily with each other then men, but last I checked you were in the UK, which is far more monolithic culturally. I know Mawd's in the UK too. But when there is dozens of subcultural groups that you face in the US, along with linguistic and deep cultural subdivides...that "common" experience fades pretty quickly. When most people are white and speak English its a little different then living in DC (or NYC, or any major American city). Thank you Tekla. You get it too. Of course I can tell you, like me, live in a large US city and use public transit. Perspectives change when you are exposed to near constant diversity.
Trust me I am a feminist, but not one who is socially feminist. The "womankind" concept falls apart when faced with a diverse and multi-cultural population, sometimes with drastically different social norms. Its probably less apparent in the UK where there is a more monolithic culture even among women. Sharing a common bond often requires cultural similarities or at the very least a shared experience.
Girl ->-bleeped-<- level. God whats with you UK folks and use of disparaging terms, and you talk about bigotry.
Please remember...America has cultural and subcultural divides even within ethnicities.
Of course I socialized with women on a girl girl level. But I also realize its not always possible because of barriers of language and culture. Tekla gets this. Any woman who lives in a large US city gets this. These shared common experiences only happen when on some level you can communicate. Yes its easier to talk to other women, but not always many things can play a factor, and its not always race or ethnicity. Sometimes its purely expression.
i couldnt be bothered hyphonating it, and transsexual woman takes too long to write... so sue me...
but its true, if you arnt entirely girl to most women, they will respect you, but not admit you.
and you cleary know nothing about the uk.... its more ethinically, and religiously diverse than your clultural United states of america... (mainly because we dont tramp around the world pissing people off)
as for your 'be yourself' concept, works fine, but can end up with 'yourself' not fitting in, and if you want to exist in this society, we all must make some sacrifices, want acceptance? accept some rules.
the world does not revolve around you ;)
and mauds my friend btw, you dont have to tell me what shes like.
R :police:
There are a few practical issues that can be more pertinent for women.
1) Take your keys out of your purse when walking to your car. You don't want to be standing in the dark and unable to find them
2) Be cognizant of who pulls up beside you at traffic lights at night.
3) Don't ride around on near empty
4) Try to keep your cell phone with sufficient charge.
5) If you must have a listed phone, use initials
6) Don't get a personalized plate that screems FEMALE!
Women usually learn this stuff at an early age. Some T-Girls never.
I just got back today - last night late really - from being up in Tahoe to ski the freshens. There were four of us who went up to try to beat the storm, and we did. There were two girls, two boys (to the degree I count as a boy). One of the girls was an old friend of mine, who I went to HS with and we have been skiing for over 35 years together, the other was a union sister who I've been working with for five or so years now. They could not be further apart. One, from what counts as old money here, whose family owns one of the oldest wineries in the Sonoma Valley, a graduate of Stanford, University of Chicago and Boalt Hall at the University of California in Berkeley in law. The other, 25, from a poor family, who was on the tour bus at 19 (as hard a life as any girl can have) and one of the top stagehands I have ever known. Despite being stuck together in the backseat of a Subaru Outback for more than five hours they didn't seem to bond very well. There was no "we are girls" deal going on.
When we got to Tahoe, and got to the tekla family cabin (a house really) we lost power within the first hour. For two days, as ten feet of snow fell, and winds hit 70+ mph on the valley floor, and over 140+ mph up on the high peeks, we had no power. But we have a fireplace, and a gas stove, so we ate well and were warm (3 season sleeping bags help). And, of course with no electronic amusement we kind of had to amuse ourselves. So we played cards, cooked, even shoot some skeet in a break between fronts (in the US we don't play with toy guns, we have real ones). And gradually they warmed to each other.
Perhaps it was the sense that we were in it together. Perhaps it was Ivy showing Maria (are all Italian girls named Marie or Maria?) how to work the Ipod her kids gave her for xmas. Perhaps it was Maria's most excellent cooking (and a case of her families' best product). But there was no 'instant bonding' as woman. Perhaps its different in the UK.
The skiing was good - as good as I've ever had, but the older I get, the more I love it. Real powder in the Sierra is as rare as water in the Sahara, so that was nice. And Ivy and Ed went off on their boards, Maria and me on our skis, and we met a few times a day for a wine break, and for lunch (cell phones are the best ski accessory since the invention of the glove). And on the third day, the two girls, one on a board, one on skis went off together for the afternoon (Ed took off with some babe he met, and I skied the trees because only I'm that crazy). But it took five days for that to happen. There was nothing instant about it. Sharing a set of genitals is not some alpha and omega deal that crosses all other borders, all other boundaries, or any other class, education, upbringing, career, or values deal. Not at all.
And I talked with them - in fact we all talked about it one night over a few bottles of Blanc de Noir, because I could read the posts here on the Iphone, but not respond to them. So the difference in genders, and in gender perception is a good topic when everyone gets to the In Vino Veritas point. And that was a most revealing (as most such conversations are) evening.
But, oddly enough I think it was the skeet. Which is sort of a guy deal. After all, I've been shooting since I was a kid, and Ed's dad was a general in the US Army, so no stranger to firearms is he. But Maria's dad - because its such an idle rich rural deal, was a three times national skeet champion, and she is awesome (98% type good). Ivy, being a vegan hippie type had never held a gun in her life before that afternoon. It was Maria teaching Ivy to shoot that really brought them together, not the fact that they both have periods.
As for: "its more ethinically, and religiously diverse than your clultural United states of america" ... your kidding right? There are neighborhoods in NYC and LA, or Miami that are more diverse than anywhere else in the world.
your culture is far too full of guns, and trivialises them to a scary level... but thats not what this topic is about.
Must be different with young women, as opposed to middle aged women *shrugs*
plus your all mature with your own lives, the bonding isnt the same. I know its VERY different when in college...
and yeah, youve probably not been to the uk... your 'ghettos' are more socially integrated here as communities. We have pakistani, indian, asian, eastern european, Kurdish, Iranian, lebanise, sommali, african, and many other communities within the uk... thats just national, we havent gone near religious yet ;)
also, Ricki: whats wrong with a girly vanityl plate? because i know a LOT of girls with girly vanity plates... do ya think the girlweb didnt send the memo out to them yet?
Those are sensible yes, but not all learned by women....
oh yeah, if your going out, some emergency money pinned under your skirt, or in your bra works a wonder :D (I KNOW i always need it ><
R :police:
Dear Rachel, you are the one posing with guns in the "bored people post pictures" thread. Kids pose with guns, adults only own them and use them. I don't know anyone who thinks they are trivial, they are all too real in our culture. They are tools, not props.
College, perhaps I don't know, after all, how much time could I have spent in one?
You ain't even beginning to cross cultures if that's all you got. We have that, and more. Depends on where you are. The US is a pretty big place after all. Your nation would only be a mid-level state here. Not a minor point.
I've been to the UK several times, as a student, as a tourist, and as crew. Five times in total. How much time have you spent in the US?
Quoteand you cleary know nothing about the uk.... its more ethinically, and religiously diverse than your clultural United states of america... (mainly because we dont tramp around the world pissing people off)
Even though I agree that we piss the world off doing dumb crap all the time, I still have to say. . . oh shoot, when did we have to bring in the politics and try and depict what country is more diverse religiously and ethnically?
got me, I thought that we had that one pegged long ago
Quote from: Rachael on January 08, 2008, 08:32:49 PM
and yeah, youve probably not been to the uk... your 'ghettos' are more socially integrated here as communities. We have pakistani, indian, asian, eastern european, Kurdish, Iranian, lebanise, sommali, african, and many other communities within the uk... thats just national, we havent gone near religious yet ;)
Seriously if you think you have the diversity you have in the US you are fooling yourself and have never spent significant time here. The UK has never even been as close to ethnically or religiously diverse as the US, and yes I have been there for an extensive period as a student. You just described both neighborhoods I lived in the DC area, in that every nationality and ethnicity you just put forth, lived in those two neighborhoods, on top of massive latino populations here that are not really common in Europe. On top of that Mt. Pleasant, which is described as the mini-UN, is also home to a large queer and professional population.
I have been to the UK. Its not that diverse, and I am talking about the cities in the UK too, not the country. The cities in the UK are not even close in comparison to the cities in the US in terms of diversity. So this is speaking from a perspective where I have been to both countries. If you think the US is just white guys with guns, it is VERY obvious you have never been here. Europe is just begining to deal with issues of diversity that have been part of the US for years. There has been long articles on how people from different ethnicities tend to socially integrate much faster in the US then they do in Europe, including the UK.
As far as the UK not pissing people off. Last time I checked it was British and French imperialism of the 19th and 20th century that was at the heart of most of the worlds instability in addition to the American imperialism that followed after world war II.
Generally speaking you are right, if you don't come off as female to most women, they will respect you but not admit you, and honestly many will not even respect you. But that is not completely cultural. You are right one can be themselves and not fit in at all. The be yourself concept only works so far and for so many people, and they honestly do not come off as female. But do I feel pressure to be ultra feminine. Far from it, it simply is not me. I think that is what I meant by be yourself. I am a bi woman that comes off as a femme dyke or honestly your college professor (taking I am a research analyst in the beltway I am not to far off from that). Seriously speaking I question those who transition who have difficulty transitioning socially. To me it came natural, thus be yourself seems to be the best description of what to do, and some of the things that were put forth just seem irrelevant from my particular perspective.
The truth is knowing the non-verbal cues such as knowing when to smile is very important, but outside of that its difficult to judge, because every group of women I have encountered is very different. Maybe because most of my friends are the intellectual dinner party type, the ultra nerdy women, and the indie/artsy women who regular craft fairs and rock shows, and they are out their core very different from each other and even more so then the ones I go see clubbing or suburbanite moms. Yes, there are some common topics of conversation with all three, but I would not say there is a common culture. Women are all a little bit different from each other and there are cultural divides at times. Even my roommate, who was born female, expresses how she shares nothing in common with what she describes as "suburban soccer moms" and cannot hold a conversation for her life with them. She has no interest in other peoples kids or the things suburbanite women talk about. But she, like me is a bi woman who lives in a downtown area. You encounter the divisions when you are older though, not when you are younger. You realize outside of common courtesy women don't always share that much with each other all the time. There is various differences and constant change.
Yes...this may be because you are seeing things from the perspective of a college student from the UK, or honestly a college student anywhere. Most of the women I spend time with are well into their late twenties and early thirties. Its different socially for those who are past the college age.
The truth is be yourself has limits, if you really do not come off as female to begin with. So I guess you are right about that. I don't really see there being rules, just things that come pretty naturally.
Quote from: shanetastic on January 09, 2008, 01:03:48 AM
Quoteand you cleary know nothing about the uk.... its more ethinically, and religiously diverse than your clultural United states of america... (mainly because we dont tramp around the world pissing people off)
Even though I agree that we piss the world off doing dumb crap all the time, I still have to say. . . oh shoot, when did we have to bring in the politics and try and depict what country is more diverse religiously and ethnically?
I agree, we've all got a history for pissing someone off anyway, we just take turns, lol.
These kind of arguments get nowhere....
women love smells, all the good kinds - flowers, perfume, babies etc.
not all women love smells....
i admit my sense of smell is broader thesedays, but i dont paticularly like the smell of babies any more... (thier pooey!)
and yeah, i pose with guns... so what? i happen to look awesome in one of those photos... i know im not an adult... IM IN COLLEGE...
and youd pose if you had the body ;)
R :police:
20, and in college are considered adult - here at least. But I think that people really become adults when they are able to make important decisions about their own life, and accept the responsibility and consequences for those decisions, which for some happens when they are 14, and for others, never.
Growing old is compulsory
growing up is optional.
i may kid around, and enjoy myself now, but ive had to mature WAY before my time... and suffered things children arnt meant to...
dont tell me how to act, its my life, and im happy, and you are some random... so gtfo...
R :police:
I have a funny story, I was at Wally World (walmart) one day, walking past the feminine product isle, out of the blue some lady close to my age standing there reading a box of tampons, she ask "have you ever tried these?" I was stunned at first looked at the box and said "yes" took a box off the shelf tossed it in my buggy and continued walking :)
heh, exactly... that happens so often :) One of the shared annoyances... I just save money with the lack of blood...
R :police:
Quote from: Ricki on January 08, 2008, 07:12:20 PM
There are a few practical issues that can be more pertinent for women.
1) Take your keys out of your purse when walking to your car. You don't want to be standing in the dark and unable to find them
2) Be cognizant of who pulls up beside you at traffic lights at night.
3) Don't ride around on near empty
4) Try to keep your cell phone with sufficient charge.
5) If you must have a listed phone, use initials
6) Don't get a personalized plate that screems FEMALE!
Women usually learn this stuff at an early age. Some T-Girls never.
Much agreed about the keys. I think the most important thing for an MTF to know about being a woman is how much more likely you are to be a victim. Sad, but true. Depending on where you live and the odds, other measures might also be taken. For example, when walking somewhere after dark, call someone on your cell phone, or at least pretend to be having a conversation. Not a gabfest (you want to look like you're aware of your surroundings), but you know what I mean.
Lia
dont think victim... far too many here do that anyway.... just be aware that you COULD be...
R :police:
Quote from: tekla on January 08, 2008, 07:39:03 PM
I just got back today - last night late really - from being up in Tahoe to ski the freshens. There were four of us who went up to try to beat the storm, and we did. There were two girls, two boys (to the degree I count as a boy). One of the girls was an old friend of mine, who I went to HS with and we have been skiing for over 35 years together, the other was a union sister who I've been working with for five or so years now. They could not be further apart. One, from what counts as old money here, whose family owns one of the oldest wineries in the Sonoma Valley, a graduate of Stanford, University of Chicago and Boalt Hall at the University of California in Berkeley in law. The other, 25, from a poor family, who was on the tour bus at 19 (as hard a life as any girl can have) and one of the top stagehands I have ever known. Despite being stuck together in the backseat of a Subaru Outback for more than five hours they didn't seem to bond very well. There was no "we are girls" deal going on.
When we got to Tahoe, and got to the tekla family cabin (a house really) we lost power within the first hour. For two days, as ten feet of snow fell, and winds hit 70+ mph on the valley floor, and over 140+ mph up on the high peeks, we had no power. But we have a fireplace, and a gas stove, so we ate well and were warm (3 season sleeping bags help). And, of course with no electronic amusement we kind of had to amuse ourselves. So we played cards, cooked, even shoot some skeet in a break between fronts (in the US we don't play with toy guns, we have real ones). And gradually they warmed to each other.
Perhaps it was the sense that we were in it together. Perhaps it was Ivy showing Maria (are all Italian girls named Marie or Maria?) how to work the Ipod her kids gave her for xmas. Perhaps it was Maria's most excellent cooking (and a case of her families' best product). But there was no 'instant bonding' as woman. Perhaps its different in the UK.
The skiing was good - as good as I've ever had, but the older I get, the more I love it. Real powder in the Sierra is as rare as water in the Sahara, so that was nice. And Ivy and Ed went off on their boards, Maria and me on our skis, and we met a few times a day for a wine break, and for lunch (cell phones are the best ski accessory since the invention of the glove). And on the third day, the two girls, one on a board, one on skis went off together for the afternoon (Ed took off with some babe he met, and I skied the trees because only I'm that crazy). But it took five days for that to happen. There was nothing instant about it. Sharing a set of genitals is not some alpha and omega deal that crosses all other borders, all other boundaries, or any other class, education, upbringing, career, or values deal. Not at all.
And I talked with them - in fact we all talked about it one night over a few bottles of Blanc de Noir, because I could read the posts here on the Iphone, but not respond to them. So the difference in genders, and in gender perception is a good topic when everyone gets to the In Vino Veritas point. And that was a most revealing (as most such conversations are) evening.
But, oddly enough I think it was the skeet. Which is sort of a guy deal. After all, I've been shooting since I was a kid, and Ed's dad was a general in the US Army, so no stranger to firearms is he. But Maria's dad - because its such an idle rich rural deal, was a three times national skeet champion, and she is awesome (98% type good). Ivy, being a vegan hippie type had never held a gun in her life before that afternoon. It was Maria teaching Ivy to shoot that really brought them together, not the fact that they both have periods.
As for: "its more ethinically, and religiously diverse than your clultural United states of america" ... your kidding right? There are neighborhoods in NYC and LA, or Miami that are more diverse than anywhere else in the world.
That sounds like a wonderful time.
I love skiing.
And shooting.
And cabins.
And Italian food.
What a wonderful time. In the winter no less in the snow.
^_^
Sara
By the way, Tekla, I don't mean to be going off topic here, but what kind of Berretta do you have?
what type of beretta? the offtopic and not for gun discussion model i hear....
R :police:
Hey just because you shoot airsoft..
and not a real gun...
don't be jealous now.. :laugh:
Posted on: January 20, 2008, 02:52:22 AM
Usefull things:
Conditioner is a must in a dry climate!
Posted on: January 20, 2008, 03:06:36 AM
Always use very hot water when shaving legs!
Posted on: January 20, 2008, 03:08:08 AM
When shaping eyebrows, always do so from the underside, never the top: that is your natrual shape of eyebrow.
Posted on: January 20, 2008, 03:09:14 AM
Know your figure: A line skirts make you look curvier, straight skirts make you look taller! (and slimmer)
Actually the underside of eyebrow thing is kinda going out as a precept,
except on the outer 1/2 towards
the outside where it wouldn't make too much sense (except to do minute triming)
An example, if you want your eyebrow to start high on the outside, curve slightly up hitting a summit outside the iris (it used to be more towards the center) and then have the eyebrow go down continuously towards the inside, you need to remove a bit on top in the inner 1/3 or the eyebrow will finish straight or even going upward (which makes you look older). If you look at ALL models in magazines like Vogue or InStyle you'll see what I mean, the high arch eyebrow is out, the eyebrow where the inner and outter edge are almost equal is out, the thin eyebrow OUT.
YAy!
Soon we'll have NO eyebrow!
We'll just be painting it on! :laugh:
Anyway, you are right, it is just a guidline, but it is a helpful one.
I think it's worth doing the inside 1/2 on the top if it's done right at a salon.
Waxing is the way to go for sure.
Have you tried those eyebrow razors? Useless!
Utterly useless unless you just need to trim a quick stray hair.
I'm thinking aobut getting an eyebrow kit for a more longer lasting job.
Salons are worth it in my opinion though.. :laugh:
Sara
Quote from: Sarah on January 20, 2008, 04:11:07 AM
Hey just because you shoot airsoft..
and not a real gun...
don't be jealous now.. :laugh:
um, im not.... real guns are dangerous, and hurt people... i only shoot airsoft guns because its the sports main too... i dont give a crap about guns generally...
im GLAD i only have airsoft...
what? jelous? of you?
R >:D
Airsoft is so much fun so is paintball, I do both, funny thing is I never did it it when I was a guy?? I guess without that nasty T running in my system I can have fun at something win or loose :)
yah, i started playing airsoft after i came out to myself, and have been most popular and involved in the sport since i transitioned! people at my local site, and forum are starting to forget apart from some ->-bleeped-<- yanks who love to bring it up on the forum... but hey, im a mod ^_^
yeah not having to win is something guys could do with learning!
R >:D
Quote from: Ricki on January 08, 2008, 07:12:20 PM
There are a few practical issues that can be more pertinent for women.
1) Take your keys out of your purse when walking to your car. You don't want to be standing in the dark and unable to find them
3) Don't ride around on near empty
4) Try to keep your cell phone with sufficient charge.
Women usually learn this stuff at an early age. Some T-Girls never.
Someone forgot to teach these to my mum!
Actually, until her most recent purse, she's never had trouble finding her keys. Her keychain's bigger than most the purses she's had.
Quoteand you cleary know nothing about the uk.... its more ethinically, and religiously diverse than your clultural United states of america...
I kinda wonder what you know about the US. >.> 8 years of pissing people off =/= lack of ethnic and religious diversity.
QuoteWe have pakistani, indian, asian, eastern european, Kurdish, Iranian, lebanise, sommali, african, and many other communities within the uk...
We have that and more just at my university, and it's not even one of the biggest campuses in Texas, much less than country. Hell, you're not even considering the fact that we have dozens of Native American ethnicities that you don't have in the UK.
What you're probably mistaking for higher diversity is a result of less room. College campuses aside, you're not necessarily as likely to see all of those in the same section of town in the US, since a lot of ethnicities group up. The UK doesn't have as much room for that, so you may be more likely to see them mixing up together. That's *not* the same as increased diversity.
is this a my penis is bigger than yours but national diversity version?
yesh
R >:D
Nah, in that case Canada wins. From the CIA Fact-book...
UK (population) 60,776,238 (July 2007 est.)
Ethnic Groups: white (of which English 83.6%, Scottish 8.6%, Welsh 4.9%, Northern Irish 2.9%) 92.1%, black 2%, Indian 1.8%, Pakistani 1.3%, mixed 1.2%, other 1.6% (2001 census)
USA - 301,139,947
white 81.7%, black 12.9%, Asian 4.2%, Amerindian and Alaska native 1%, native Hawaiian and other Pacific islander 0.2% (2003 est.)
note: a separate listing for Hispanic is not included because the US Census Bureau considers Hispanic to mean a person of Latin American descent (including persons of Cuban, Mexican, or Puerto Rican origin) living in the US who may be of any race or ethnic group (white, black, Asian, etc.) Self-identified hispanic population, about 12.5%, which would shrink the white group to the low 70% as most ID as white, not black, except the Cuban population.
Canada - 33,390,141
Ethnic groups: British Isles origin 28%, French origin 23%, other European 15%, Amerindian 2%, other, mostly Asian, African, Arab 6%, mixed background 26%
Quote from: genopunk on January 06, 2008, 02:53:42 PM
I find that living as a woman there are a lot of situations where topics come up that most cis-gendered girls were taught about growing up, that now everyone expects that I should know already. I am wondering if other people experience this, and if there is a practical list of the things we should know as woman, about being a woman, so we don't sound dumb in conversation.
I don't mean to derail this discussion of
Quotemy penis is bigger than yours but national diversity version,
but in seeing that Mila asked about something else I thought I might go back to that for just a second.
Mila, if you want to find out how to move among and 'fit in' with women, then do that, even if there are things that you don't know to begin with. Watch and learn, listen and hear. That's the way girls do it.
Trying to learn them on a TS/TG board is not nearly as functional a way to do it as becoming one of 'the company of women,' whatever your particular social, economic or ethnic form of diversity might be.
Nichole
yah
learning how to behave like a woman from people who learned how to behave like women from someone else...
its like photocopying a photocopy... each time you do it, the quality goes down... and you end up with something entirely different!
learn from those born women, not digging at anyone, its just easier from the horses mouth, and experiencing it YOURSELF...
second and third hand info, modified by the poster sucks. even my advice.
R :police:
Quote from: Rachael on January 21, 2008, 02:12:35 PM
is this a my penis is bigger than yours but national diversity version?
yesh
R >:D
Actually, it's called correcting inaccurate information. If someone is going to declare that X is Y because of Z, then they'd best have Z correct. Otherwise, they can no longer show that X is Y, even if X *is* Y.
I don't mean to offend, by the way. I just find the accuracy of information to be extremely important to any discussion...
well maybe next time, we should go to eachothers country, perform a 2 year diversity study, then comment, as i wager neither of us are right, and that we should let it die.... agreed?
R >:D
Yep, Canada is I think the most diverse country with Australia.
Those are the two countries with the highest immigration per capita.
In the Toronto Area (the most diverse), you'll be lucky if you can find
anyone who's not an immigrant or who's father is not an immigrant.
Pretty diverse in Montreal too. The only less-diverse places might be the sub-urbs and rural areas. But hey I managed to find English-speaking people in Repentigny (a sub-urb) after a few years. I found some in Terrebonne too.
I never thought learning about celeb gossip was going to do me any good...because:
1) I hardly watch TV at all...except maybe anime and movies.
2) I don't socialize all that much
3) I find that kind of gossip boring, pointless. The only way I'd know, or want to know about such gossip is if it introduced a worthy discussion topic. I don't care if Britney Spears gets married 35 times in 35 minutes and gets 35 babies the next year. It's just a 'funny fact' to read in a Guiness Book of Records lol.
I don't have a car, so the key thingy sort of doesn't apply.
Make-up is something I use, but not something I talk about. First, my knowledge and interest in it is limited. I don't use much make-up, only enough to have a natural look, and I keep the same make-up (no different for other occasions).
Same for purses...a purse is a practical item I carry around to put countless things that will no doubt get lost in this abyss when I need them. I want a purse that fits this:
1) I like the color / material / style
2) Big enough for my purposes and with pockets/zippers where I want them
3) Easy enough to carry (I like the backpack style)
4) Solid enough (won't last only two weeks)
I don't switch purse because it's summer or something. The only reason I'd have another purse is to match a particular outfit it might clash with, or to serve other purposes that my purse normally couldn't do (ie a bigger one, or a smaller one). I don't color-coordinate with tree leaves or snow.
As for the rest, I go about it how I feel. I go by politeness and kindness, two values I've always held, and put my personality in the mix, and go from there. Never had issues. Most people like to hear a "Thank you, have a nice day." from my experience. I hold doors for people sometimes, like tonight I did for a mother with a kid in a stroller. I do things how I feel them...and people still see me as female.
There's no other way to be me...than to be me.
zactly...
women dont actually talk about makup and stuff all that much out of context of going out, or shopping...
its just 'one of those things'
obsessing over clothes or makeup etc might get you looked at a bit weirdly...
R >:D
Talking about clothes, that happens quite a bit.
Makeup less, unless your in front of an isle full of makeup.
Then, you will talk about makeup quite a bit with
the cosmetic saleswomen.
If you've got a guy with you, he will go scurying off
after about 2 minutes and go shop for a power
drill. Shopping is already an ordeal, imagine
having one follow you into cosmetics, pure hell for them! ;D
Quote from: Keira on January 25, 2008, 02:46:14 AM
Talking about clothes, that happens quite a bit.
Makeup less, unless your in front of an isle full of makeup.
Then, you will talk about makeup quite a bit with
the cosmetic saleswomen.
If you've got a guy with you, he will go scurying off
after about 2 minutes and go shop for a power
drill. Shopping is already an ordeal, imagine
having one follow you into cosmetics, pure hell for them! ;D
You need one of those androgynous guys :P (in personality, looks can vary widely). While he might not join in, he won't run off.
I apparently got a knack for finding them, go figure why, I think they're more 'my type'. I like them taller than me, and bigger (but anyone is bigger than me if they're taller...sort of a mixed blessing), no particular requirement in the looks department...more masculine than me (again not hard to do), dominant (that's harder) and caring (combined with the others its pretty hard). Given that combination, I've found guys that didn't care for my transition and really cared about who I was as a person more than my bits.
I talk about clothes sometimes, depends who I'm with. I rarely shop for make-up, and frankly, given cosmetics prices, I don't have the luxury to afford make-up on a regular basis anyway. I go with foundation, blusher and mascara, all of which I need no one to tell me which to pick. As for nail polish I just browse what they have.
Quote from: Rachael on January 25, 2008, 02:32:18 AM
zactly...
women dont actually talk about makup and stuff all that much out of context of going out, or shopping...
its just 'one of those things'
obsessing over clothes or makeup etc might get you looked at a bit weirdly...
R >:D
just like how guys don't talk about muscles all that much?
yea I agree with you Racheal- make-up is just an accessory like for guys you can say their axe or whatever is it they wear...
You pretty intelligent when it comes to observing human behaviors between sexes...
i spent 16 years deep cover with em ;) i may not understand em, but i know thier MO...
thats the thing people in the Trans community dont quite get....
GIRLS ARE AS MUNDANE AS BOYS..... girls, like guys, talk about anything, and everthing, should it come up, politics, sport, partying, relationships, interests, work....
infact, those shared subjects come up in groups of girls AS often as they do in groups of men.
Women arnt some uber feminine complicated being... men arnt that simple... to m2fs: just because you lived as one, doesnt mean you understand them ;) you might have thought LIKE one, but you werent one. same for f2ms. T
he world is the same, nomatter the contents of your underwear, just the climates different.
R :police:
^ yea I just realized today that we are all HUMAN no matter male or female. We all have the SAME interests and emotions but what may split us apart is our ROLE not our difference physically....
We all have the SAME interests and emotions
I don't think that is even close to being true. I know some pretty warm people, some who are hot, some cold as hell, and some "hot as a pistol but cool inside." And the interests of human beings is pretty diverse.
Quote from: tekla on January 27, 2008, 02:49:14 PM
We all have the SAME interests and emotions
I don't think that is even close to being true. I know some pretty warm people, some who are hot, some cold as hell, and some "hot as a pistol but cool inside." And the interests of human beings is pretty diverse.
I think I worded that wrong maybe- I meant something more like- "our reason to be on earth"- we all need some interaction and will talk about all aspects of life like finances, hobbies- stuff like that.
Our emotions- yes we are different. But all humans share emotions of fear, anger, guilt, confidence etc- I meant something like that.
It's just our role which sets us apart- women are supposed to be mothers and men are dads. Women feed and men protect & fight.
But your correct- interests are diverse, emotions can be different...
we all share the same feelings, were human, women just experience a wider range within that, on average.
R
Quote from: Nichole W. on January 21, 2008, 02:58:09 PM
Quote from: genopunk on January 06, 2008, 02:53:42 PM
I find that living as a woman there are a lot of situations where topics come up that most cis-gendered girls were taught about growing up, that now everyone expects that I should know already. I am wondering if other people experience this, and if there is a practical list of the things we should know as woman, about being a woman, so we don't sound dumb in conversation.
I don't mean to derail this discussion of Quotemy penis is bigger than yours but national diversity version,
but in seeing that Mila asked about something else I thought I might go back to that for just a second.
Mila, if you want to find out how to move among and 'fit in' with women, then do that, even if there are things that you don't know to begin with. Watch and learn, listen and hear. That's the way girls do it.
Trying to learn them on a TS/TG board is not nearly as functional a way to do it as becoming one of 'the company of women,' whatever your particular social, economic or ethnic form of diversity might be.
Nichole
I appreciate you getting things back on topic here.
The one on one acclimation into society is by far the best way to learn about all these things.
Learning how to "fit in" with women has never been an issue as far as my own life is concerned. Working at a job that is 90% women, makes the social learning curve fairly good, and I feel that I have acclimated well to that.
I do appreciate everyone who has made an effort to help me personally.
beyond my personal acclimation, I still am very interested in the subject of "what should women know"
yes, some of the things that are brought up are within certain boundaries, and certainly not universal, but interesting none the less.
I guess I would love to hear the best pieces of advice that were given to you by a natal woman, or by other trans women.
This has become a very interesting conversation, and I love all of the feedback.
Hugs
Mila
Sorry to necro-post but this was the most interesting thread I have come across in weeks. And besides, Genopunk had just mentioned how nice it was that the thread had been brought back on topic and how interesting the thread had become.
I think a lot of this stuff has to do with one's age group. I think college women are much more likely to discuss menstruation than women my age (40s). In fact at my age the only reason women bring up the topic is when they suspect I am male and use it as a way to gain information as to my "true" sex and it is generally women who are in their late twenties or mid thirties. Older women never bring it up (in my experience).
I have had the experience of passing as a female in a group of females for about eight months or so until it became obvious that the women had been talking about me behind my back. Whereas I was a member of that group previously, after people started talking (never figured out why) it became obvious that I was an outsider. On the other hand back when I was first going out as "female" but not passing as female I lacked the experience to be able to recognize whether I was being accepted or not. The truth was that early in transition I had never had the experience of being accepted as female, rather I had the experience of being accepted as a male who dressed like a female so I was ignorant of what it was like to be accepted as female and I assumed that I was being accepted as a female and I was wrong.
Growing up the wrong sex is a way to grow out of touch with your inner being and the longer you spend as the wrong sex the more out of touch you are going to be with your inner sex or inner person. And why not? All those other females have had the 'experiences' of growing up, learning and gaining all sorts of information that we never had access to. Someone said, "Just be yourself." The problem is that just being yourself will get you read quicker than a New York minute, if you had to spend your early years growing up in the wrong sex role. Besides someone who has been living life with testosterone flowing through her veins is going to experience life differently than someone with an estrogen dominated endocrinology.
People who stand out as eye candy to heterosexual men are going to have an entirely different appreciation for males and their world is going to differ from that of someone who is struggling to not be seen as a gay male because that person feels that she has always been a woman, but has never been recognized as such, has never been allowed to participate as such, has never been allowed to socialize as such or has never had the experience of Being socialized as such.
And yet so many women who transition to become their "true selves" often Assume that they know it all and all they have to do is, "Be themselves."
If Being a woman or a female was as easy as looking female and believing that you are female then that would reduce women to ideas and appearances but there is more to being a woman than an idea and looking like one. There was a difference between the wooden Pinocchio and when he became a real boy. There is a difference between looking like a female and believing you are one and having a female life and people who are "accepted" as "females" are going to have a different experience than people who don't need any acceptance. It takes work but if you really need it, it is worth the effort. If you don't really need it and if redefining womanhood to blend in with a male upbringing is good enough, then that is just something I really can't begin to relate to.
Post Merge: January 17, 2009, 04:06:54 PM
Quote from: Caprica-6 on January 17, 2009, 03:56:24 PM
people who are "accepted" as "females" are going to have a different experience than people who don't need any acceptance.
What I mean is this.. out there in the real world women are never "accepted" as women, they simply are women. And someone who has "acceptance" as a woman isn't going to experience social interactions as a woman because "acceptance" is what we get when people don't actually believe we are women. "Acceptance" (something so many of us work so hard for) and try to gain by educating people... it is counter productive and never has the desired effect of allowing one to experience social interactions as a woman.
Some of us really believe that education is what is necessary. And some of us need to believe that we are being "accepted" as women, so that is what we believe. If we need to believe that there is life after death then we will probably believe that too. People believe what they want. But the experience of being "accepted" as a woman is not what it appears to be or it is not what some of us believe it is. Of course if you disagree with me then in your world you will always be right because instead of getting out there and knowing the world, most of us sit back and experience the world as ideas.
Nail polish stays fresh longer when refrigerated
Throw out nail polish after about three months - fresh polish applies better
ALWAYS buy expensive nail polish OPI is my recommendation - it won't chip - the color selection is super
Buying nail color at a solon? You will pick it out - they will never have it
Use a clear primer coat or filler first - it will keep dark colors from staining your nails
AWAYS allow at least one hour drying between coats if you can - it will give profesional results
NEVER do anything for at least 15 minutes when drying
Post Merge: March 03, 2009, 01:09:00 PM
Use pretty colors, but match your skin tones - you can apply a darker coat over a lighter but not the other way
Never let your nail color stay on over two weeks - remove and reapply
And when you break a nail? super glue works sometimes - but lasts only a day or two so you need to get home and file it down or get a solon to fix it
Salon nails are very difficult to remove on your own
Acrylic nails are terrible - and overuse incourages fungus growth
Trimming your toenails regularly is recommended - natal women rarely keep toenails long in length
It lasts 2 weeks on your fingers? :o
And long toenails? YOWCH, i can see most of my shoes disagreeing there.... quite so.
as for breaking a nail, is it really a big deal that needs to be hidden till you can get home? or am i a hopeless tomboy that will either ignore it, or emmery it down where i am?
I find some of the early responses to this thread offensive. Even the basic concept of this thread is kind of offensive. "What SHOULD Women know about being a Woman"?
It's very dictatorial. And then to come in and see all of these silly stereotypes about makeup, celebrities, and the menstrual cycle...bleaugh.
The only thing we should know about ourselves as women, is that we are beautiful just like everyone else. That's the only common truth that society sometimes strips out of us.
I think like Sarah says, its more fundimental than material knowlage of things.... There are things women can be taught by thier mothers, but are we suggesting every female is made by her mother? What about the orphans? the motherless? the lonely?
We are self made, we need to remember that.
Carrying a bunch of excess stuff in your handbag seems very common. Indecision about what to wear. I have overheard women talk about losing their viginity. I don't think it is a common topic. The same old reasons, fell out of a tree, while riding a horse, etc.
Hey none of that stuff is excess lol! the right image is important.... and as for virginity... falling out of a tree? huh?
Pretty hands may be one of the most elegant attributes of a beautiful woman. I didn't know that keeping nail polish in the refrigerator helps. I always buy the cheap stuff so if it goes bad it is not a great loss. Keep extra polish on hand so if one dries out too much there are spares.
Quote from: genopunk on January 28, 2008, 06:42:06 PM
I don't mean to derail this discussion of but in seeing that Mila asked about something else I thought I might go back to that for just a second.
Mila, if you want to find out how to move among and 'fit in' with women, then do that, even if there are things that you don't know to begin with. Watch and learn, listen and hear. That's the way girls do it.
Trying to learn them on a TS/TG board is not nearly as functional a way to do it as becoming one of 'the company of women,' whatever your particular social, economic or ethnic form of diversity might be.
Nichole
I appreciate you getting things back on topic here.
The one on one acclimation into society is by far the best way to learn about all these things.
Learning how to "fit in" with women has never been an issue as far as my own life is concerned. Working at a job that is 90% women, makes the social learning curve fairly good, and I feel that I have acclimated well to that.
I do appreciate everyone who has made an effort to help me personally.
beyond my personal acclimation, I still am very interested in the subject of "what should women know"
yes, some of the things that are brought up are within certain boundaries, and certainly not universal, but interesting none the less.
I guess I would love to hear the best pieces of advice that were given to you by a natal woman, or by other trans women.
This has become a very interesting conversation, and I love all of the feedback.
Hugs
Mila
Best piece of advice by a woman? - "Become a Lesbian!" ;D
In the words of a Character in one of the books i read recently.... All Men are Bastards... but even bastards have thier uses...
(also boo for lezingbeens)
Some books say women are evil.
But I say rest the case.
Their bad people in each sex.
ok.... that one went straight over your head i think...