This thread is a continuation of my first biographical thread, An update on me... (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,215456.msg1907455.html#msg1907455) started immediately before I went full time and continuing through my transition. With 84 pages and 1,670 posts, it was getting near the limit this site likes to keep threads to. With the end of my transition and the start of a new year, a new thread seems appropriate.
Last post in Chapter 1: An update on me... (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,215456.msg2209851.html#msg2209851)
I consider myself to be a post-transition woman, with social transition long complete, and medical transition done with the exception of minor tweaks. I am closing out the transition phase of my life this year, and making some longer-term decisions as to my future path through life.
I continue to work as an activist, instructor, and public speaker.
My Story So Far:
I was exposed to a powerful synthetic estrogen, Di-Ethyl Stilbesterone (DES) in utero starting around Week 10 of fetal development (after genital and body core formation, but before sexual differentiation of extremities and brain). This was a drug thought to be effective in preventing miscarriages, of which my mother had had several before I was conceived. The drug is now known to block the masculinizing effects of testosterone in utero. Some data on me points to feminine bone structure in the extremities, and the female version of some sexually dimorphic areas around the hypothalamus.
There were clues when I was very young. I didn't just know anything at age 6. We didn't have the language or concepts. I did know that as little kids got bigger we would change. I hoped that I would change, and be a girl. All I knew was that I had a little bump of tissue that girls didn't have, and maybe it would shrink away or fall off as I grew.
It was odd, but I knew that I was a boy, a child in a male body. Once I figured out that this body would be this way for life, the thought of being this way bothered me a bit. I didn't think that my wanting to have been a girl was unusual. I actually believed for a long time that everyone was this way, that all boys wanted be girls. Other boys were stronger than me somehow, and able to live with being stuck in a male role. I thought that I was unusually weak because of my difficulty in dealing with this.
I went to a parochial elementary and high school, not great for someone like me. A few yardsticks broken across my wrist convinced me to not talk about wanting to be a girl, and some of what I heard on the playground back in 1959 told me my dream wouldn't be happening.
I had a great deal of trouble with socialization in school, fearing male students and their reactions to me. Many saw through my imperfect disguise, and I was called out and beaten for being a sissy, 'girly' and otherwise not male in my appearance and behavior. I still had the discomfort and a sense that something was wrong, and it got worse when I was about 13.
At 14 I discovered that if I gave the bus driver an extra dime, I could ride all the way into San Francisco. In 1967, that was quite the experience. I wore my boots and flare pants, and in the SF bus terminal I'd change my top to something a bit more Bohemian and brush out my hair, another 14 year old hippie chick running around the city. Then I'd head off to visit new friends over at Taylor and Turk St, or out near the Panhandle at Haight & Ashbury.
I had an extremely effeminate body, with no hair, undescended testicles, and some breast growth. At 15 I was sexually assaulted in the high school locker room by several of the 'jocks'. I received detention for trying to fight off my rapists.
Later that year I was caught dressing, grounded (no more bus rides into SF and friendly queens), taken to see doctors who just talked and never examined me, and eventually got regular "vitamin shots, so you'll grow up right", as Dad said. Yes, Vitamin T, testosterone. I received extensive counseling, including from the parish priest for a few years. I was eventually pronounced to be cured.
I went to college, and fumbled about, knowing that something was out of whack with me, but hopeful that I would find a fix. I decided to enlist in the military when my funds ran low. They could pay for my education, and would teach me to man up properly.
Until recently, a trans person enlisting was considered to be a homosexual by the military and many others, and was supposed to check THAT box on the paperwork. For decades, that of course meant that with the box checked we couldn't enlist. The recruiter helpfully told us to check NO on all the little boxes on part of the paperwork or we would not be allowed to enlist, so of course, that's what I did.
I didn't think I was a homosexual. Heck, I liked girls. Being one on the inside didn't change the accessories my body had, so I never thought of myself as being homosexual.
But, yes, I was trans, a worried girl afraid that others would see past my man suit and realize who I was. I thought of myself as 'cured' if only I could keep this side of me suppressed, and avoid these sinful thoughts of being myself. I tried to 'man up.' I fell in love and got married.
I worked very hard, as many trans military members do, and like many other trans folks, was an overachiever. I was in the Navy Nuclear Power Program, and I impressed the staff sufficiently that I was asked to stay on for two years as an instructor after I completed the Nuclear Power Schools. Following that tour, I was assigned to a submarine, the USS Parche, the most decorated boat in the fleet, and crewed by more overachievers. And yes, as I found out years later, that included several other trans folks. I racked up more awards, including the Navy Achievement Medal, presidential and command citations. I finished the requirements for a Bachelor of Science degree in Physics. Besides my primary Engineering duties, I took on duties in the fire control racking party, damage control party, and was assistant ship's photographer, recording mission data and assembling media for reports to COMSUBPAC. I was the Engineering Dept 3M Coordinator, overseeing all maintenance and care for the nuclear power plant, engines and support systems.
Trans folks tend to be driven overachievers. (Just ask anyone who knows me...) We work hard to try and be accepted, far harder than those born with their assigned sex and gender identity in line, because we really do have something we need to prove.
I wanted to be a good husband and parent, and knew that a Navy career wouldn't work well for that, so I decided to try civilian life after six years.
I moved to jobs in the tech industry after my Navy tour. I didn't ramp down from the testosterone and treatments until I was in my late 20s. The dressing restarted, and even then I didn't consciously realize what was up until I met a trans woman in my early 30s, who was interviewing for a job on my team. She was having a rough time passing after our all-day interview process, but I tried to respect her as a person looking for a position with us. I found my self thinking that she was doing something pretty darn hard, and I thought "I wish I could do that." Wait, what? Where did that come from?
I think my subconscious had just outed me to myself.
That's pretty much when I knew, and finally had a label for myself, "Transgender." The transition process was obviously not that great back then, and I was married with small children, so I essentially gave up hope, tried to bury the need, and went about my life of passing as male. I dressed in secret from time to time, going through the usual purge cycles, regret, withdrawal from dressing, and so on. I still thought of this as being a weakness, a personal failing that I needed to overcome somehow.
The drive and my suppression slowly corroded away my mental state over decades. My emotional repression and constant submerged anger and self-hatred caused harm to those around me, which I very much regret. I finally broke down early in 2016 with severe depression and anxiety.
I came out to my spouse, upsetting her, and started therapy immediately. I was quickly referred to a gender therapist, and after a few months of delaying while I tried to figure out if what was going on with me was 'real', I accepted my transgender nature and started Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).
As part of starting HRT, an endocrinologist ran a very detailed panel of tests, and spotted a number of anomalies, including an unusual prolactin level. This had me pretty nervous for a while.
Normal for a person Assigned Male At Birth (AMAB) is 0-18 ng/ml; my levels:
Before HRT: 30 ng/mL and 34 ng/mL
2 days into estrogen: 40 ng/mL
4+ weeks on estrogen: 38 ng/mL
A high resolution MRI was ordered in July 2016 (followed up in May 2017)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190101/be2343230581261f12d6ab4035c68ddd.jpg)
I have a tiny adenoma, on the pituitary, also known as a microprolactinoma. It is associated with a high prolactin level tha made my endocrinologist cautious about starting HRT, specifically estradiol, which could stimulate the adenoma.
Ah, but the standard prolactin test isn't clever enough to tell the difference between monomeric prolactin, the stuff that helps us start nursing, and the giant macroprolactin molecules often produced by a prolactinoma that are inert. A chromatographic test that separates them (Macroprolactin, Serum; Test ID MCRPL) shows monomeric prolactin at 9 (normal range 3.4-14). So my little monster is just a boring microprolactinoma and won't be causing me any problems with growth or lactation.
If the microprolactinoma does grow, there is another medication I can take for a while that has very good results in shrinking these growths.
With this resolved, I was able to start Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). Several weeks into HRT I started experiencing these calm periods, at first for several hours, and then for days. It was amazing. The irritation that I had felt, sort of like the buzzing of a beehive, not an audible hallucination or anything, just a constant background agitation, had been present and intensifying for decades. When it vanished at first I didn't recognize the change, beyond feeling really good, really calm, and able to drop into my daily meditation in seconds instead of 10-20 minutes of trying to calm and center myself.
I think this corresponded to the big drop in Testosterone levels. As my Estradiol levels rose I had an improvement in mood and energy, also appreciated, but the fading of this odd 'alarm' state from the back of my mind is the most significant, critical mental change I got from HRT.
This was the change that told be I was on the right path, that I could survive after all.
I had a number of painful discussions with my spouse. This was not something that she was prepared to live with. My having hidden this away for decades was hurtful to her, a breakdown of trust. My need to transition would put her in a very difficult position, a drastic change in our lives that she was not prepared to make.
After more painful discussions and a mediated divorce, my spouse and I went our separate ways. I didn't handle that well, and I regret how things turned out. I do know that my spouse is comfortable and has friends to help her, and am very grateful for that.
I found a nice little condo unit to rent in a walkable community, moved in, and immediately went full time as my authentic self after being on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) about 5 months.
I set about rebuilding my life and taking care of all those details like name and gender marker changes. I found a welcoming and accepting church, an Unitarian Universalist congregation. I found a social support group that meets several times a month and joined them. I made friends, and built a social life. I found that I wasn't actually an introvert, but an extrovert once un-closeted.
A year after going full time, almost to the day, I had my Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS), from Drs. Thomas and Selim with Kaiser NorCal. Almost a year later, in August 2018, I had Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) from Drs. Kleinberger and Shih.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190101/f3b951cfeef4f49b34be0a35d424b31b.jpg)
My life is much better now. I am finally living as my authentic self, free of the depression, anxiety, and gender dysphoria that has been with me most of my adult life. I have been free of that black cloud finally, and this has been the happiest period of my adult life.
Yes but what about the cookies/cakes and meals?
Quote from: davina61 on January 01, 2019, 04:13:17 PM
Yes but what about the cookies/cakes and meals?
They are still there in the old thread! I didn't erase it. I also put the Good Stuff over in my blog:
https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2018/12/easy-creme-brulee-french-toast.html (https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2018/12/easy-creme-brulee-french-toast.html)
https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2018/10/apple-brown-betty-with-rolled-oats-dish.html (https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2018/10/apple-brown-betty-with-rolled-oats-dish.html)
I'll be adding more, and should have a Recipe page up later this month.
Congratulations on exiting that cave of depression. Your fortitude has allowed you to accomplish what many haven't the strength of character to do. Be well, sister.
@Michelle_P Dear Michelle:Thank you for starting your brand new personal thread today. It seems that you and I were thinking the same thing about each of us starting a
NEW Chapter 2 thread that now envelopes our post-transition lives.
As you are aware I just started my new personal thread 2 days ago on Saturday.
Our past events of our transitioning journey successes and failures have all been mostly settled. Now we are living a full life as women. That doesn't mean that our problems are over but now we will have an entirely new set of problems and issues and all women and men may face.
Your recap of your transition journey that you just posted in this, your new
Chapter 2 thread, makes for a good foundation and basis of understanding where you are in your journey and what you are thinking and experiencing... and along with your previous threads makes your "journal" here quite complete as you go forward from here.
Thank you for keeping all of your followers and readers up to date regarding your life goings-on.
Please keep us all tuned in and keep your updates coming as you feel so led.
I am trusting your your
NEW YEAR in 2019 will be happy and prosperous.
Hugs and best wishes...
Danielle
Quite the summary, Michelle! A new year and a new chapter! I really liked your statement about transition phase closing. I, too, see this as a phase or journey that is over. I can hardly get the word transgender out of my mouth. I see myself as a woman! It has been over four years since I moved to living living full time as a woman. Now it is time to see what is next in my life's journey! New year, new beginning!
Hello Michelle,
I loved rereading your epic story of survival but I particularly enjoyed you stating, " I am finally living as my authentic self". You do realize that you have been doing that for some time now but I loved hearing you tell us that obvious truth. Two weeks ago today I had another indicator that this life that Deb and I are living is now "Normal". I went in for surgery, not for any transition related issue but for some big toe problems. It still hurts but I am loving that I am now hurting from just life oriented stuff.
Welcome to life sister,
Tia Anne
Can't wait to see the great things you are yet to experience as you move further along . Have loved being with you on your journey so far and hope you continue to experience the happinesses you deserve..
Take Care
Liz
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Bookmarked Michelle! Thank you for sharing your transition journey with us You have truly been an inspiration to us all. I'm looking forward to following the next chapter of your journey.
Hugs,
Donica.
Michelle,
I just noticed your new avatar picture. You look stunning. Pretty, feminine and beautiful at the same time. What a successful FFS you had.
I'm in Roslyn, Washington at The Brick. Live onstage is "Free Beer @ Exit 80", with our own amazing @Kendra.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190106/2674a3f5207bf19953abf6a4e26605bf.jpg) (https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190106/45f23da9d18d01eedc2f9f44160f2038.jpg) (https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190106/0179169300d6e2eb62933492447cddc1.jpg) (https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190106/672858b512ade2d8b1e04fe52f6c620a.jpg)
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Michelle, it looks like the wild life is good for the two of you. That last shot shows a couple of happy girls, well done. I am quite envious of you catching a night watching "Free beer at exit 80". That is one of the items on my bucket list!
Tia Anne
you two look like you are having a great time...and who is the that beautiful lady upon stage? Our own Kendra the rock star? [emoji41]
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Wow, that looks like a good time! I wish I could go there. You two look great, as does rock star Kendra!
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 05, 2019, 11:33:31 PM
I'm in Roslyn, Washington at The Brick. Live onstage is "Free Beer @ Exit 80", with our own amazing @Kendra.
Jealous jealous jealous!
Wow, thanks for summarizing your life in one post.
Congratulations on all the progress you have made so far, you have really made it through transition on the left lane of the Autobahn at full speed.
Welcome to post-transition life! I am looking forward following you continued journey!
Seems like you three had a lot of fun in Roslyn with the amazing Kendra and Laurie.
Hugs,
Sarah
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 05, 2019, 11:33:31 PM(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190106/0179169300d6e2eb62933492447cddc1.jpg)
And she's wearing a special necklace!
Wish I was there as well
Glad you two are having fun! Give Kendra a hug for me 🌸🌸🌸🎻
What fun!!! It looks like everyone was having a great time. I sooo have to come up and visit. I've been to Oregon many times but a trip the Wa to visit with Kenda is a two day road trip from here. One day I will make the trip girls! I have a few pans on the fire to take care of first.
Much fun was had!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190108/1bcc8ca49e186bbf1a6b9d3c0155832e.jpg)
Yes, we hit the dance floor.
The crowd was well behaved, for Roslyn... we did get hit on a few times, by men. [emoji1787] High femme Qties are something they aren't used to. [emoji6]
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Quote from: Michelle_P on January 08, 2019, 01:54:01 PMwe did get hit on a few times, by men. [emoji1787] High femme Qties are something they aren't used to.
Okay, now I absolutely HAVE to go! Getting hit on isn't something I've experienced. I must be too old, or the guys around here aren't blind enough for me.
While I joke that the guy in Paris who said, "Bonjour, Baby!" was talking to me, we all know it was Kendra he was leering at.
Not that I'm interested, but it is a form of affirmation...
Stephanie
It looks like Kendra took this cute picture of you two from the stage? Yes indeed! How affirming!!!
I'm continuing to keep busy on a number of fronts.
With my church we are working on finding housing, with a priority for transgender persons seeking asylum at the southern border, as they are in great danger there. We need sponsors who can house and take financial responsibility for these persons for six months (this is forced by various laws; the asylum seeker is not permitted to work). I'm trying to keep Michelle's Nest space available for women who need a space for a few weeks while visiting one of the San Francisco Bay Area surgery centers.
I did my Worship Associate thing, and the minister found my Call to Worship (https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/call-to-worship-for-january-13-2019.html) hard to follow with the sermon. The topic was 'change', which I have some experience with.
https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/call-to-worship-for-january-13-2019.html (https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/call-to-worship-for-january-13-2019.html)
Today I tried a new electrologist, to do some maintenance. I've had 235 hours done, and haven't been in for 5 weeks. Given the active cycle for facial hair, and the presence of some wispy fuzz, I made an appointment for 2 hours. I was cleared in one. :o Huh. I guess I really am finishing up. It's been months since my last shave. ;)
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 15, 2019, 12:24:30 AM
I'm continuing to keep busy on a number of fronts.
With my church we are working on finding housing, with a priority for transgender persons seeking asylum at the southern border, as they are in great danger there. We need sponsors who can house and take financial responsibility for these persons for six months (this is forced by various laws; the asylum seeker is not permitted to work). I'm trying to keep Michelle's Nest space available for women who need a space for a few weeks while visiting one of the San Francisco Bay Area surgery centers.
I did my Worship Associate thing, and the minister found my Call to Worship (https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/call-to-worship-for-january-13-2019.html) hard to follow with the sermon. The topic was 'change', which I have some experience with.
https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/call-to-worship-for-january-13-2019.html (https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/call-to-worship-for-january-13-2019.html)
Today I tried a new electrologist, to do some maintenance. I've had 235 hours done, and haven't been in for 5 weeks. Given the active cycle for facial hair, and the presence of some wispy fuzz, I made an appointment for 2 hours. I was cleared in one. :o Huh. I guess I really am finishing up. It's been months since my last shave. ;)
You're a good person Michelle, we need more like you.
In regards to ⚡️⚡️ ....lucky you! I'm only about an eighth of that along.
Wow do I have a long way to go! 235 hours? I barely have 24 hours. Starting next week, I'm doubling up from 20 hour sessions to 4 hour sessions a week.
You are truly an angel for doing all that you do Michelle! I hope I get to meet you this September.
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 15, 2019, 12:24:30 AM
I'm continuing to keep busy on a number of fronts.
With my church we are working on finding housing, with a priority for transgender persons seeking asylum at the southern border, as they are in great danger there. We need sponsors who can house and take financial responsibility for these persons for six months (this is forced by various laws; the asylum seeker is not permitted to work). I'm trying to keep Michelle's Nest space available for women who need a space for a few weeks while visiting one of the San Francisco Bay Area surgery centers.
I did my Worship Associate thing, and the minister found my Call to Worship (https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/call-to-worship-for-january-13-2019.html) hard to follow with the sermon. The topic was 'change', which I have some experience with.
https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/call-to-worship-for-january-13-2019.html (https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/call-to-worship-for-january-13-2019.html)
Today I tried a new electrologist, to do some maintenance. I've had 235 hours done, and haven't been in for 5 weeks. Given the active cycle for facial hair, and the presence of some wispy fuzz, I made an appointment for 2 hours. I was cleared in one. :o Huh. I guess I really am finishing up. It's been months since my last shave. ;)
I did read your piece on FB and thought it was great. I loved the way you built the narrative talking about when you were a little girl. I think it sets the perfect framing for the rest of what you had to say. I bet it was a hard one to follow and I am sure the minister will want to get in front of you next time LOL
I was saying to Laurie yesterday that I have given up on Electrolysis, I could probably stand another 10 hours but to be honest you can't see my fluff and as long as I epilate about once a month I am fine...apart from that I would need to find a way to fund it and that is just not likly to happen. Having said all that there is certainly a great amount of satiusfaction knowing you do not have a beard issue and you are in maintenenace mode.
Take care
Liz
Quote from: LizK on January 15, 2019, 06:51:46 PM
I did read your piece on FB and thought it was great. I loved the way you built the narrative talking about when you were a little girl. I think it sets the perfect framing for the rest of what you had to say. I bet it was a hard one to follow and I am sure the minister will want to get in front of you next time LOL
I wanted to talk about change, the topic of the service, and what I felt constituted a good change versus a bad change. Second, I wanted to counter some misinformation I've run across within the congregation, that a 'transgender' woman is a man who likes to pretend to be a woman. Finally, I wanted to poke a little fun at the gender stereotypes that even our psychiatrists fall into honoring. Yes, becoming an emotional cripple passed as being male, and feminine stereotypes are how a successful transition is judged by some therapists now. Not mine, thank goodness, but definitely others.
Quote
I was saying to Laurie yesterday that I have given up on Electrolysis, I could probably stand another 10 hours but to be honest you can't see my fluff and as long as I epilate about once a month I am fine...apart from that I would need to find a way to fund it and that is just not likly to happen. Having said all that there is certainly a great amount of satiusfaction knowing you do not have a beard issue and you are in maintenenace mode.
Liz, getting the hair down to the point where
you can put up with it is the real goal. If you have achieved that, you are 'done'. All women our age get some hair, including formation of terminal hair, and I know that I have less facial hair than many cisgender women my age. (Sorry, H, but you damn near have a goatee!). Epiliating is really common among older women.
I meant to say that is a great photo of you and you look really well.!!
Quote from: LizK on January 16, 2019, 04:28:22 AM
I meant to say that is a great photo of you and you look really well.!!
Thanks! I feel the best that I have in decades, which I find amazing. I should probably try one of those before/after photos, or a transition timeline.
The photo was a phone selfie while sitting on my sofa. I have a little makeup on, but that's just me, no filters or digital magic. I was surprised, because that's generally not who I see in the mirror. (That oddball latent stale mental image thing again. I'll get past it with a few more months passed.)
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 16, 2019, 03:46:25 PM
Thanks! I feel the best that I have in decades, which I find amazing. I should probably try one of those before/after photos, or a transition timeline.
The photo was a phone selfie while sitting on my sofa. I have a little makeup on, but that's just me, no filters or digital magic. I was surprised, because that's generally not who I see in the mirror. (That oddball latent stale mental image thing again. I'll get past it with a few more months passed.)
You are in truth quite pretty! The work you had done was successful.
Hugs, Jess
This is a wonderful transformation Michelle! Dramatic yet subtle. Nothing but woman.
We all seem to have those stale latent images rumbling around in the brain. Time to overwrite that data!
It's a rite of passage.
I am sitting in the doctors office awaiting my first mammogram. I'm all nerves and "what-ifs". We shall see.
Here we go.
...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190119/1cf89b7eaeaa14689793660d8b2850a9.jpg)
Ow.
Four images, vertical and at 45 degrees. A fairly hard pinch after considerable tugging by the tech. But, it's done.
I wasn't lectured on not doing this earlier. I wasn't misgendered. Nobody even mentioned my trans origins. I was just another woman. That was nice, actually.
Good images, according to the tech. Now they go to the radiologist.
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I hope you get a clean bill of health Michelle. I had my first mammogram on 16 Jan, then went back on the 18th for a ultrasound to check something suspicious, but they said everything was fine. Now they want me to have a pap smear!
Quote from: Jessica_Rose on January 19, 2019, 10:00:19 PM
Now they want me to have a pap smear!
Um. Pap smear involves collecting cells from the cervix — the lower, narrow end of the uterus that's at the top of a natal vagina.
Our postop anatomy resembles that of a person after a complete hysterectomy with cervical closure. No cervix to scrape for cells!
A Pap smear would not be appropriate or useful.
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Quote from: Jessica_Rose on January 19, 2019, 10:00:19 PMNow they want me to have a pap smear!
Ha! At one of my appointments last year one of the front desk nurses who knew me in the before-times pulled me aside and quietly told me that my insurance company was insisting that as a woman I needed to get a pap smear. Would I call them and fix that so they'd quit bothering them about it?
It was kind of cool, but also yet another "toad to eat." I deferred it for a while, but she bugged me about it at the next appointment - apparently the insurance company was getting quite insistent. When I called them about something else I outed myself and asked to fix it, and it was just business as usual at their end. I haven't heard about it since.
Stephanie
Quote from: Jessica_Rose on January 19, 2019, 10:00:19 PM
Now they want me to have a pap smear!
I realize this was a software-generated request, one I will never be able to fulfill, but I take it as an affirmation of entering a new world.
The newer software systems that drive these notifications are getting better. Rather than driving all these tests off of the M or F markers, there are 'inventories' of anatomy that can be checked off. Switching gender markers or setting them for a new patient populates the inventory with default settings, but it is possible to get a knowledgable person to customize the inventory.
Not all women have a cervix or uterus. Not all men have a prostate gland.
Some men do have a cervix, uterus, and ovaries. Some women have prostate glands. These items do have to be checked as part of regular medical care.
It is important to make sure that the clinician is aware and the medical record reflects the proper inventory of bits that need checking.
I like the "rite of passage" statement. That is how it felt for me last week. I know most women dread it very much (yeah, even my wife drags her feet on it). Oddly enough, I could not wait and it was hard to hide my excitement. Very similar to my feelings when I first saw an OBGYN...
Of course I was very interested in the machine itself, seeing these they used 20lbs of pressure on my breasts... Only me would even notice stuff like this.
I was treated like any other woman, even though my ID and paperwork clearly states male.
Anyways, still waiting on the results.
I already talked to my OBGYN about post op care, and she knows she will be part of the care team.
Pap smears don't make much sense. But we will see what she comes up with...
Hugs,
Sarah
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 19, 2019, 10:59:13 AM
It's a rite of passage.
I am sitting in the doctors office awaiting my first mammogram. I'm all nerves and "what-ifs". We shall see.
Here we go.
...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190119/1cf89b7eaeaa14689793660d8b2850a9.jpg)
Ow.
Four images, vertical and at 45 degrees. A fairly hard pinch after considerable tugging by the tech. But, it's done.
I wasn't lectured on not doing this earlier. I wasn't misgendered. Nobody even mentioned my trans origins. I was just another woman. That was nice, actually.
Good images, according to the tech. Now they go to the radiologist.
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It's nice to know they are finally getting this stuff right. Somebody still seems to be dragging their feet updating my medical record. My Medicare was updated two months ago (after repeated phone calls). One month ago I had to call member services to get them to update my medical record. I'm still waiting. They've actually had two months to update my medical record. Once they finally get around to it, I wonder how long it will take to update my prescriptions?
Michelle, it is awesome you are giving back to trans woman much less fortunate. It is good to see you having fun and experiencing life at the fullest.
I just heard from Kaiser. The radiologist wants me at their mammography center two towns over, for further imaging and possible ultrasound on my left breast.
I'm hoping that my issue is similar to what @Jessica_Rose had, dense tissue. The left side is less developed. Let's face it, Tanner 2 boobs on a 65 year old is sort of odd.
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 21, 2019, 06:35:23 PM
I just heard from Kaiser. The radiologist wants me at their mammography center two towns over, for further imaging and possible ultrasound on my left breast.
I'm hoping that my issue is similar to what @Jessica_Rose had, dense tissue. The left side is less developed. Let's face it, Tanner 2 boobs on a 65 year old is sort of odd.
@Michelle_P Dear Michelle: This can be the most nerve-wracking of situations... hearing that they want to do more testing and then waiting anxiously for the additional test, and then waiting again to get the test read by the radiologist and then your doctor...... try to be calm as possible..... I know, I know... easy for me to say. As I had mentioned to
@Jessica_Rose on her thread, I had a similar thing happen to me on my very 1st mammogram a couple years ago... they wanted a more specific test, I was as nervous as I could be.. waiting and wondering. Well, it turned our to be just a benign cyst with no further followup required.... then just last year I had another mammogram and it came out perfect without more imaging needed.
So hang in there... have some chocolate and try to be patient.
When is the followup test scheduled? ... I will want to followup up with you and get your update if I can.
Hugs and wishing you well with this next test.
Danielle
It is my considered opinion that your left breast is as good as the right one. I bet they just want to bring you back in so others can squoze them. They will find them to be small but playful as any young breasts should be. Don't worry they will grow up in March. >:-) >:-) ;D ;D :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance:
Hugs & kisses,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on January 21, 2019, 06:50:59 PM
It is my considered opinion that your left breast is as good as the right one. I be they just want to bring you back in so others can squoze them. They will find them to besmall but playful and any young breasts should be. Don't worry they will grow up in March. >:-) >:-) ;D ;D :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance:
Hugs & kisses,
Laurie
I guess you are qualified to make that assessment [emoji23]
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Oy.
My appointment is for Wednesday morning, where I will be working directly with a radiologist. The appointment may take up to 4 hours, and may include an ultrasound exam.
I wish you the best of luck Michelle. At least the ultrasound is painless. The hospital I went to even keeps the ultrasound gel warm! Hopefully dense breast tissue is something we have in common. Maybe we should make sure they are kneaded more frequently to soften them up!
Well, It's always best to be sure. Seems to be more or this going around.
Rite of Passage: First Mammogram at Kaiser (https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/first-mammogram-at-kaiser.html)
Tuesday night... The Kaiser automated reminder system reminded me I have an appointment tomorrow. Yeah. I'm aware of it. It takes me a while to finally get to sleep.
...
Wednesday morning, already? I didn't sleep all that well. It's 5:30AM, and I was planning on getting up a little after 6. Ah, well. Might as well get up now.
I start my oatmeal to simmering, then take a quick shower and get dressed. No deodorant or powders, per the Kaiser message's instructions. I brew my coffee, just one cup for now, and collect my oatmeal. Breakfast...
I catch up on my mail and messages, and peek at the news while eating. No new disasters out in the world to distract me, so I finish up and get my stuff together. Out to the car, and off to Martinez...
I arrive at the Kaiser campus and park. Yes, campus, with a hospital, and a number of outbuildings. I want the Hacienda building. There are signs and maps, and I eventually find the building. They even have good signage inside the buildings. I follow the arrows with the pink ribbon markers to the Mammography Clinic, and queue up, about 20 minutes early.
Pay the copay. Collect one gown, and head to the Female Patient Lounge. Yes, that is the sign by the door! There is a waiting room with seats and sofas of the Kaiser sort, and a set of dressing rooms in back. I'm shown to one, and swap top and bra for the usual breezy exam gown, bag my own clothing, and head to the waiting room.
After a few minutes a tech finds me, and brings me to an imaging room, where once again I face the Hologic boob smasher. Three images are taken.
The first image this time is horizontal. The second is another 45 degree shot, at right angles to the one done last Saturday. The third is another 45 degree shot, with a special extra-squeezy plate loaded in the machine.
Ow.
Ok, the images look good, so they go off to the radiologist, and I go back to the waiting room.
After about 20 minutes, which I occupy with getting a cup of coffee and doing a little reading, another person summons me to the door, and then takes me aside and starts whispering to me. Uh oh....
Calm... calm... listen to the words. OK, there is a little problem (Hey! Blood pressure spikes!). The radiologist wants to follow up with an ultrasound. (Oh, that sort of problem.) They can make an 'appointment' for an immediate scan and followup with the radiologist, but there will be an additional copay. (Oh, is THAT all?)
So, I go to the admitting desk in the clinic, pay the ticket, and head back to the waiting room. The appointment is in 15 minutes. No big deal.
The ultrasound tech finds me, and escorts me to the Ultrasound Room. I get to pop the top, and lie on my back, one arm behind my head. Gel and probe time.
Goddess be praised! They actually warmed the gel and probe! I lie back and think of England. Why can't they make a decent steak? And what's with Manchester United, anyway?
The tech says she has good images, and they are off to the radiologist, who will be there in a few minutes. I get to rest on the table, with a warmed, soft towel over my breasts. (I am starting to think women were involved in equipping and procedural planning for this facility.)
Another young woman knocks and enters. This is my radiologist! She decides to look at a few spots, so I get a little more warm gel applied, and spend a few minutes holding still. Mmmmm... Hmmmm... OK. No problems.
I have a little dense tissue that made imaging tricky, and since they had no baseline in the Kaiser records, they wanted to be very sure about whether or not there was a problem. Next time should be much easier as they will be able to check for changes against the baseline.
So, clean checkup, just the common dense breast tissue.
There was absolutely no misgendering, and not a single mention of my being transgender. I'm not sure anyone even knew, honestly. EPIC record keeping there just shows the folks using it relevant screens, and the users are focused on just checking the fields they always check.
So there it is, age 65 and My First Mammogram. Done, no problems noted.
So happy to hear this Michelle!
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 23, 2019, 01:42:26 PM
Tuesday night... The Kaiser automated reminder system reminded me I have an appointment tomorrow. Yeah. I'm aware of it. It takes me a while to finally get to sleep.
...
Wednesday morning, already? I didn't sleep all that well. It's 5:30AM, and I was planning on getting up a little after 6. Ah, well. Might as well get up now.
I start my oatmeal to simmering, then take a quick shower and get dressed. No deodorant or powders, per the Kaiser message's instructions. I brew my coffee, just one cup for now, and collect my oatmeal. Breakfast...
I catch up on my mail and messages, and peek at the news while eating. No new disasters out in the world to distract me, so I finish up and get my stuff together. Out to the car, and off to Martinez...
I arrive at the Kaiser campus and park. Yes, campus, with a hospital, and a number of outbuildings. I want the Hacienda building. There are signs and maps, and I eventually find the building. They even have good signage inside the buildings. I follow the arrows with the pink ribbon markers to the Mammography Clinic, and queue up, about 20 minutes early.
Pay the copay. Collect one gown, and head to the Female Patient Lounge. Yes, that is the sign by the door! There is a waiting room with seats and sofas of the Kaiser sort, and a set of dressing rooms in back. I'm shown to one, and swap top and bra for the usual breezy exam gown, bag my own clothing, and head to the waiting room.
After a few minutes a tech finds me, and brings me to an imaging room, where once again I face the Hologic boob smasher. Three images are taken.
The first image this time is horizontal. The second is another 45 degree shot, at right angles to the one done last Saturday. The third is another 45 degree shot, with a special extra-squeezy plate loaded in the machine.
Ow.
Ok, the images look good, so they go off to the radiologist, and I go back to the waiting room.
After about 20 minutes, which I occupy with getting a cup of coffee and doing a little reading, another person summons me to the door, and then takes me aside and starts whispering to me. Uh oh....
Calm... calm... listen to the words. OK, there is a little problem (Hey! Blood pressure spikes!). The radiologist wants to follow up with an ultrasound. (Oh, that sort of problem.) They can make an 'appointment' for an immediate scan and followup with the radiologist, but there will be an additional copay. (Oh, is THAT all?)
So, I go to the admitting desk in the clinic, pay the ticket, and head back to the waiting room. The appointment is in 15 minutes. No big deal.
The ultrasound tech finds me, and escorts me to the Ultrasound Room. I get to pop the top, and lie on my back, one arm behind my head. Gel and probe time.
Goddess be praised! They actually warmed the gel and probe! I lie back and think of England. Why can't they make a decent steak? And what's with Manchester United, anyway?
The tech says she has good images, and they are off to the radiologist, who will be there in a few minutes. I get to rest on the table, with a warmed, soft towel over my breasts. (I am starting to think women were involved in equipping and procedural planning for this facility.)
Another young woman knocks and enters. This is my radiologist! She decides to look at a few spots, so I get a little more warm gel applied, and spend a few minutes holding still. Mmmmm... Hmmmm... OK. No problems.
I have a little dense tissue that made imaging tricky, and since they had no baseline in the Kaiser records, they wanted to be very sure about whether or not there was a problem. Next time should be much easier as they will be able to check for changes against the baseline.
So, clean checkup, just the common dense breast tissue.
There was absolutely no misgendering, and not a single mention of my being transgender. I'm not sure anyone even knew, honestly. EPIC record keeping there just shows the folks using it relevant screens, and the users are focused on just checking the fields they always check.
So there it is, age 65 and My First Mammogram. Done, no problems noted.
Plop plop fizz fizz Oh what a relief it is. I am so glad there was nothing to worry about found, Michelle. I could almost feel your anxiety last night from 600 miles away. Distance really plays hell with one's ability to comfort another. And no you know the relief from such a worrisome event. You went, they looked, you prevailed! Can't wait to see you again.
Hugs,
Laurie
@Jessica_Rose @Michelle_P QuoteQuoteQuote from: Jessica_Rose on January 19, 2019, 10:00:19 PM
Now they want me to have a pap smear!
Um. Pap smear involves collecting cells from the cervix — the lower, narrow end of the uterus that's at the top of a natal vagina.
Our postop anatomy resembles that of a person after a complete hysterectomy with cervical closure. No cervix to scrape for cells!
A Pap smear would not be appropriate or useful.
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I must point out that before I realized why my sexuality is the way it is (I'm a woman that is attracted to men sexually), my sex life included gay inclinations.
My doctor suggested a PAP smear from a different place....you get my drift.
This was due to the same reason cis-women get one... the chance of cancer from the human papillomavirus (HPV).
I have had two so far. And yes it's awkward and done the same way.
Hugs and smiles from another California girl
Quote from: Jessica on January 23, 2019, 02:07:47 PM
@Jessica_Rose @Michelle_P
Um. Pap smear involves collecting cells from the cervix — the lower, narrow end of the uterus that's at the top of a natal vagina.
Our postop anatomy resembles that of a person after a complete hysterectomy with cervical closure. No cervix to scrape for cells!
A Pap smear would not be appropriate or useful.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I must point out that before I realized why my sexuality is the way it is (I'm a woman that is attracted to men sexually), my sex life included gay inclinations.
My doctor suggested a PAP smear from a different place....you get my drift.
This was due to the same reason cis-women get one... the chance of cancer from the human papillomavirus (HPV).
I have had two so far. And yes it's awkward and done the same way.
Hugs and smiles from another California girl
Didn't you get the vaccine when you were a young girl?
Quote from: Laurie on January 23, 2019, 02:11:57 PM
Didn't you get the vaccine when you were a young girl?
The Salk Polio Vaccine was a new thing when I was a young girl! HPV vaccine? I think I was in my 50s when that finally came out.
::)
Quote from: Laurie on January 23, 2019, 02:11:57 PM
Didn't you get the vaccine when you were a young girl?
@Laurie Dear Laurie:What a "wonderful" suggestion!!!! Plus, I do not believe that the vaccine was available back then when we were pubescent teen girls.
By the way dear
Laurie...
...your new Avatar/Profile picture shows a very beautiful woman !!! NICE ;) ;) ;)
Just so you know, I am so embarrassed and so very sorry for my error regarding your quote on the personal thread of
@Jessica that you and I posted on today. Forgiveness please.
HUGS,
Danielle
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 23, 2019, 02:18:14 PM
The Salk Polio Vaccine was a new thing when I was a young girl! HPV vaccine? I think I was in my 50s when that finally came out.
::)
I asked my mom why I hadn't, she gave the same reason....
Quote from: Jessica on January 23, 2019, 02:20:35 PM
I asked my mom why I hadn't, she gave the same reason....
Also, weren't TB chest x-rays and vaccines a big thing too???
Well I'm glad everything went well Michelle. An affirming right of passage indeed.
Laurie! Your new avatar is lovely. It's great to see you again.
That is good news Michelle! That waiting period and lack of clarity had to be stressful.
Love you girl,
Tia Anne & Debi
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on January 23, 2019, 02:27:16 PM
Also, weren't TB chest x-rays and vaccines a big thing too???
X-rays were only used when the results from the skin test were questionable. They used to use a needle that looked like a small screw driver to put the solution under your skin and you would come back in a few days to read the results. They lined us up at school and tested every kid in the school just to be sure the school was clean. Fortunately they only did it once about the time I was in 3rd grade.
They also vaccinated in school if needed. I receive small pox and polio sugar cubes as there was a fair risk of contracting either of them from the general population. I don't know if the small pox vaccine is still effective after all these years but as the only samples exist in a lab somewhere, I am probably pretty safe.
I am also glad that this went smoothly for you Michelle. No matter how small the chances are, the wait for an answer still causes quite a bit of anxiety. I have experienced a lot of that lately myself!
Last night I was in a meeting centered around issues of marginalized people and interactions with other persons with more privilege. Marginalized people are folks on the fringes of mainstream society, having an unimportant or powerless position within a society or group. Transgender folks land in this category. Privilege refers to a right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of many others. Transgender folks are considered to be persons of less privilege than the cisgender heteronormative folks. For example, I've been asked to leave shops whereas someone appearing to be cisgender heteronormative person was not.
One person in the meeting indicated that marginalized people have an obligation to teach them, that they should be able to simply ask a marginalized person questions about their social status at any time and be educated by the marginalized person. I objected to this.
If I am sitting in a coffee shop enjoying a macchiato and a bit of chocolate cake, I really do not want to launch into an impromptu discussion of '->-bleeped-<-' or be asked why I 'chose this lifestyle'. (Both have happened to me)
I wrote a paper on the topic and why I do not believe trans or other marginalized people are obligated to educate others, just to get this off my tiny chest. When I offer a training class or presentation, it is a gift to others, or a work for hire. Demanding that I teach someone, because they missed the class, or because I'm more convenient than a text, is an imposition and exercise of their privilege relative to mine, and serves to 'remind me of my place.'
How Can I Learn If You Won't Teach Me? (https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/01/how-can-i-learn-if-you-wont-teach-me.html)
Traveling... train to airport to a plane headed north. The badgers tell me I am needed there.
The TSA scanner flagged my right ankle. The legging was rolled up a bit. That was checked, and no other problems showed up. I'm at my gate watching the sunrise.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190128/f374c4a55ef821eec62b6ddc241012d9.jpg)
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 28, 2019, 09:17:23 AM
Traveling... train to airport to a plane headed north. The badgers tell me I am needed there.
The TSA scanner flagged my right ankle. The legging was rolled up a bit. That was checked, and no other problems showed up. I'm at my gate watching the sunrise.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190128/f374c4a55ef821eec62b6ddc241012d9.jpg)
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
That is a beautiful sunrise Michelle. Have a safe trip. Please give hugs!
Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk
Wheee! It looks like I made the Big Time!
WoLF, the Women's Liberation Front, a supposed leftist organization funded by James Dobson through his Alliance Defending Freedom operation, whose sole activity is anti-trans nonsense, has its supporters going after my Facebook posts! Little old me! I feel so special!
🤣
Wow, now I know a real star! Michelle, can I have your autograph....please.
Actually, is this just a fun status jump for you or will they be putting you at risk? You do need to keep yourself safe sister.
Love you girl,
Tia Anne
Quote from: Anne Blake on January 30, 2019, 02:06:56 PM
Wow, now I know a real star! Michelle, can I have your autograph....please.
Actually, is this just a fun status jump for you or will they be putting you at risk? You do need to keep yourself safe sister.
Love you girl,
Tia Anne
No real risk. I had a 'follower' who was a member of their Facebook group. They are now blocked.
It's really just some very silly Facebook 'drama'.
I thought it was far more entertaining when "Westboro Baptist Church" protesters showed up outside my church the same day I had my first turn on the chancel as a Worship Associate. That was an entertaining coincidence!
http://www.ktvu.com/news/hate-group-targeting-lgbtq-shows-up-to-walnut-creek-church-members-sing-songs-in-solidarity (http://www.ktvu.com/news/hate-group-targeting-lgbtq-shows-up-to-walnut-creek-church-members-sing-songs-in-solidarity)
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 30, 2019, 03:09:18 PM
I thought it was far more entertaining when "Westboro Baptist Church" protesters showed up outside my church the same day I had my first turn on the chancel as a Worship Associate. That was an entertaining coincidence!
(https://farm1.staticflickr.com/892/42805259152_2d12c59682.jpg)
Quote from: KathyLauren on January 30, 2019, 03:18:01 PM
(https://farm1.staticflickr.com/892/42805259152_2d12c59682.jpg)
Yes indeed!!! Love it!
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Huh.
I am getting the feeling I am Not Welcome Here.
I've recently been told by members here that I am not a Real Woman, but a third gender. Um, I live in a culture that operates two gender clubs, and really doesn't tolerate anyone that doesn't fit in either club. Lots of official paperwork only accepts "Man/Male" or "Woman/Female", and nothing else. If I am supposed to identify as something else, about all that happens is that I lose access to almost everything from medical care to police protection. (Try telling a cop you aren't a man or a woman. Go ahead. I'll wait for you to be released from the Psych Hold.)
I apparently cause offense to some should I identify as 'Woman', invading and co-opting cisheteronormative womanhood, appropriating their identity and culture. Darn.
OK, what am I?
Then there is my orientation. I am a very femme person, from anatomy to presentation. (Don't co-opt 'Woman' from the cisheteronormative culture, and appropriate their identity or culture!). I am attracted to other persons with a femme presentation. I do not insist on knowing their karyotype, or what they might have in their briefs. I do not know what they might have on their birth certificate. They might identify as a 'Woman'. They might not.
I am told by gender specialists that this orientation is essentially 'lesbian', as a gender binary orientation. Naturally, this fine old gender orientation word has acquired additional layers of meaning over time, and has been adopted by some groups to denote not merely a gender binary orientation, but a unique identity denoting a subculture of 'real women', and using this gender binary orientation label is an appropriation of lesbian identity and culture.
Worse, I am not attracted to all women! That odd haircut with one side shaved close, that tendency of some women to wear baggy jeans and sleeveless heavy outdoor vests, all are highly unattractive to me. The whole 'butch' thing is somewhat offputting.
I am attracted to femme presentation, though, and that certainly includes some women.
I can't say I am a 'Woman' without offending some folks. I cannot say I am a 'lesbian' without offending some folks. In a culture that demands adherence to binary labels, this makes me what?
"Transgenderized Heterosexual Man" with breasts and a vagina, high Estradiol and low Testosterone?
That's really messed up. No, thank you!
OK, what am I? What do I have to call myself to fit in to the demands of the members here?
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 06, 2019, 11:58:55 AM
I've recently been told by members here that I am not a Real Woman, but a third gender.
Their problem
Quote
What do I have to call myself to fit in to the demands of the members here?
Not a thing. Their demands to pigeonhole others into their own definitions and calling others out for it makes them not welcome here.
I make use of the ignore option
It's probably time to move on. The last thing I need in my life is a 'support site' of TERFs attacking trans folks.
@Michelle_P Quote from: Michelle_P on February 06, 2019, 11:58:55 AM
Huh.
I am getting the feeling I am Not Welcome Here.
I've recently been told by members here that I am not a Real Woman, but a third gender. Um, I live in a culture that operates two gender clubs, and really doesn't tolerate anyone that doesn't fit in either club. Lots of official paperwork only accepts "Man/Male" or "Woman/Female", and nothing else. If I am supposed to identify as something else, about all that happens is that I lose access to almost everything from medical care to police protection. (Try telling a cop you aren't a man or a woman. Go ahead. I'll wait for you to be released from the Psych Hold.)
I apparently cause offense to some should I identify as 'Woman', invading and co-opting cisheteronormative womanhood, appropriating their identity and culture. Darn.
OK, what am I? What do I have to call myself to fit in to the demands of the members here?
I'm sorry this happened to you Michelle!
All members have the right to their own self identification and no one here has the right to object or attack members about it on the forums or PM's.
When any message or comment by a member breaks this rule, it should be reported.
Hugs, Jess
SNIPPED:
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 06, 2019, 11:58:55 AM
Huh.
- - - - - - -
I am getting the feeling I am Not Welcome Here.
- - - - - - -
I've recently been told by members here that I am not a Real Woman, but a third gender.
- - - - - -
I apparently cause offense to some should I identify as 'Woman', invading and co-opting cisheteronormative womanhood, appropriating their identity and culture. Darn.
- - - - - - -
I am attracted to femme presentation, though, and that certainly includes some women.
- - - - - - -
OK, what am I? What do I have to call myself to fit in to the demands of the members here?
@Michelle_PMy Dear Michelle: Huh? What??? You don't feel welcome here? ???
Please carefully read what I have to say in response to your heartfelt post. I want to assure you that I am (and certainly many others) are most welcoming of you here on the Forums and just about anywhere else.
Do know that there are some members here that also may not like my presence either. I try to brush off their inhospitable attitude toward me and then concentrate on those that have formed a mutual connection with me and fully accept me here, or wherever.
I have also gotten the "not real woman" comment aimed at me by those women, especially women, that are vying for the attention of others that have expressed romantic interest in me. I wrote about that in my old thread with regards to my
(past) Male Suitor #1 as he was being romanced by another woman... SHE was so antagonistic toward me and verbally and loudly publicly (in the coffee shop) lashed out at me calling me all the unsavory names that one could call a trans-woman such as myself. At that point I found out who my friends really were as many of my friends that I had developed over the last 2+ years in my town came to my defense... and in the Coffee Shop, the owner and her employees really stood up for me and told the woman and man to shut up or get out.
It is obvious to me, that no matter who we are, what we are, there will always be those that like us for whom we are, and there will be those that don't. So I pick and choose those I want to be around, and those that I don't bother with.
I belong to my
gym-gals group and we go to the gym every week, there are those at the gym that still will say unsavory words to me, even though I have been convincingly full time as a woman since I relocated here over 2 years ago and only cam-out to the surprise of everyone here after a 1½ years thanks to my
Suitor,Dental Hygienist #4!!! She actually did me a big favor... no more secret for me to hide.... very liberating for sure.
So, my dear
Michelle, you need to stay around here, I like you and most other members here like you. You bring vast transgender experience and your intelligent thoughts here with your thread, and with your posts around the various threads on the Forums. I very much enjoy reading what you have to say regarding you church groups, meetings that you speak at, and your general wisdom regarding the transgender lifestyle and experiences.
My advise to you is simple, communicate with those that want to communicate with you and for those that don't there is always the option in your profile setting to use the
many various IGNORE functions.I am always looking forward to reading your thread and your posts whenever I login to the Forums, which is very frequently. I hope that I have made myself clear to you... I like to see you here on the forums and I want to continue seeing your presence here on the forums. When I first became a member I became quite aware that
you have always been an intelligent voice of the transgender community and I wanted to read what you have to say, I trust that will continue on.
Thank YOU for listening to me...........
Many, many HUGS and continued well wishes,
Danielle
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190206/1c85b04e320ba03ae627c3a57ce7bce7.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190206/db8162a3918336270f171d1d6738b4ca.jpg)
I'm baking up a little something to share with fellow lesbians at our women's group meeting. A bunch of us get together monthly, often with a speaker from some community organization, and there's a potluck afterward. This is an interesting group. I doubt there's a "gold star" in the house. Some folks have been married to men. Some have had children. Some are bi, favoring women, some are queer. I am currently the only one with a trans history. We have old fuddie-duddies, younger folks, and everything in between, very eclectic and fun.
I have another meetup I might attend weekend after next, all women who completed the "Conscious Lesbian Dating and Love" 12 Week Roadmap course. The idea is to get together and discuss a chapter from the book that accompanies the course, and then enjoy a potluck together. Most of us are in the 50+ category, and I find that in this crowd I am definitely on the femme side!
Then next Monday I am facilitating our queer/trans meetup at the local LGBTQ community center, where we will be digging into a bit of trans liberation theory and trans feminism, and playing with readings from Kate Bornstein's book "Gender Outlaw".
Fun stuff coming up! As usual I'll be out there being loud and annoying.
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@Michelle_P Dear Michelle:I enjoyed reading your update about your women's group meeting and the wide variety of folks that you have the opportunity to meet with. Being the only Trans in the group is a great time to let everyone experience that transgenders are just normal people with normal day to day lives.
So, you neglected to say just what you were "whipping up" in that nice new Kitchen Aid
RED Mixer that your sweetie
@Laurie gave to you recently.. A cake perhaps? Cookies? Or something else that you can share at the meeting?
... and please, if you plan to attend the next meeting and potluck the weekend after next, that you mentioned reviewing the book
"Conscious Lesbian Dating and Love" please give us your update regarding that as well.
Thank you for posting and sharing.
Many HUGS and best wishes...
DanielleQuote from: Michelle_P on February 06, 2019, 05:07:52 PM
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190206/1c85b04e320ba03ae627c3a57ce7bce7.jpg)
I'm baking up a little something to share with fellow lesbians at our women's group meeting. A bunch of us get together monthly, often with a speaker from some community organization, and there's a potluck afterward. This is an interesting group. I doubt there's a "gold star" in the house. Some folks have been married to men. Some have had children. Some are bi, favoring women, some are queer. I am currently the only one with a trans history. We have old fuddled-daddies, younger folks, and everything in between, very eclectic and fun.
... and please, if you plan to attend the next meeting and potluck that you mentioned reviewing the book "Conscious Lesbian Dating and Love" please give us your update regarding that as well.
I have another meetup I might attend weekend after next, all women who completed the "Conscious Lesbian Dating and Love" 12 Week Roadmap course. The idea is to get together and discuss a chapter from the book that accompanies the course, and then enjoy a potluck together.
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What pisses me off about this is that these chicken ->-bleeped-<- attacks Michelle is talking about are not happening on Facebook or twitter or her blog. They are not happening as a result of her activist remarks and protests out in public. These hateful remarks are not coming from cis people or religious fanatics and their warped beliefs. Unless I read Michelle's post wrong, these attacks are coming from other members right here on Susan's Place!
Who are these cowards? I don't think such behavior is condoned here.
Regardless, in my opinion this kind of behavior should be grounds for permanent banning of the ones responsible for such attacks. Should these unsavory P.O.S.s be discovered, I hope they get the bans they rightly deserve. WTF is wrong with these people?
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 06, 2019, 11:58:55 AM
Huh.
I am getting the feeling I am Not Welcome Here.
I've recently been told by members here that I am not a Real Woman, but a third gender. Um, I live in a culture that operates two gender clubs, and really doesn't tolerate anyone that doesn't fit in either club. Lots of official paperwork only accepts "Man/Male" or "Woman/Female", and nothing else. If I am supposed to identify as something else, about all that happens is that I lose access to almost everything from medical care to police protection. (Try telling a cop you aren't a man or a woman. Go ahead. I'll wait for you to be released from the Psych Hold.)
I apparently cause offense to some should I identify as 'Woman', invading and co-opting cisheteronormative womanhood, appropriating their identity and culture. Darn.
OK, what am I?
Then there is my orientation. I am a very femme person, from anatomy to presentation. (Don't co-opt 'Woman' from the cisheteronormative culture, and appropriate their identity or culture!). I am attracted to other persons with a femme presentation. I do not insist on knowing their karyotype, or what they might have in their briefs. I do not know what they might have on their birth certificate. They might identify as a 'Woman'. They might not.
I am told by gender specialists that this orientation is essentially 'lesbian', as a gender binary orientation. Naturally, this fine old gender orientation word has acquired additional layers of meaning over time, and has been adopted by some groups to denote not merely a gender binary orientation, but a unique identity denoting a subculture of 'real women', and using this gender binary orientation label is an appropriation of lesbian identity and culture.
Worse, I am not attracted to all women! That odd haircut with one side shaved close, that tendency of some women to wear baggy jeans and sleeveless heavy outdoor vests, all are highly unattractive to me. The whole 'butch' thing is somewhat offputting.
I am attracted to femme presentation, though, and that certainly includes some women.
I can't say I am a 'Woman' without offending some folks. I cannot say I am a 'lesbian' without offending some folks. In a culture that demands adherence to binary labels, this makes me what?
"Transgenderized Heterosexual Man" with breasts and a vagina, high Estradiol and low Testosterone?
That's really messed up. No, thank you!
OK, what am I? What do I have to call myself to fit in to the demands of the members here?
Do you all see what she does when I am not around? Yep, she is out and about, gallivanting around socializing with people! uggggh I confess to wanting to be a fly on that lesbian course meeting though. As far as I know I put a damper on putting the lessons learned into practice because she met me just before the end of the course. (but then she does like to get out and socialize when I am not around... hmmmm) Anywho, Go to your meetings and social functions with my belssings, Michelle.
Hugs and kisses,
Laurie
:police:
If there are problems I want them reported and I shall deal with them.
Let us take a breath and rethink some remarks please.
@Michelle_P Dear Michelle:After I wrote my previous reply comment to you asking what you were mixing up in your beautiful
RED mixer, I saw that you edited your post and added a picture of some of the ingredients.
Hmmm...
Oatmeal Raisin Cookies (with chopped walnuts or pecans?) perhaps???
Be sure to post a photo of the just out of the oven results so I can enjoy the visual pleasure of your Cookies.
Hugs and best wishes always,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on February 07, 2019, 11:47:41 AM
@Michelle_P
Dear Michelle:
After I wrote my previous reply comment to you asking what you were mixing up in your beautiful RED mixer, I saw that you edited your post and added a picture of some of the ingredients.
Hmmm... Oatmeal Raisin Cookies (with chopped walnuts or pecans?) perhaps???
Be sure to post a photo of the just out of the oven results so I can enjoy the visual pleasure of your Cookies.
Hugs and best wishes always,
Danielle
Nope. Guess again. It looks so good too.
Quote from: Laurie on February 07, 2019, 12:24:59 PM
Nope. Guess again. It looks so good too.
@Laurie some kind of quick-bread perhaps??
Danielle
Oh alright I am sure Michelle won't mind me sharing. She is out gallivanting around w/o me again.
So here it is... Stuffed Chalah Bread ala Michelle
(https://i.imgur.com/MVH13i6.png)
Quote from: Laurie on February 07, 2019, 12:31:11 PM
Oh alright I am sure Michelle won't mind me sharing. She is out gallivanting around w/o me again.
So here it is... Stuffed Chalah Bread ala Michelle
(https://i.imgur.com/MVH13i6.png)
@Laurie @Michelle_P Thank you Laurie for sharing that wonderful photo of
Michelle's Mouth Watering bread...
....I can just about taste it through my computer screen!!!
Hugs,
Danielle
Well I have to say, as Faith did, THEIR PROBLEM and THEIR LOSS!
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Oh my!!! Oatmeal raisin cookies!!!! [emoji39]
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Quote from: Donica on February 07, 2019, 01:54:20 PM
Oh my!!! Oatmeal raisin cookies!!!! [emoji39]
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Oh, those...
Michelle's Oatmeal Raisin Cookies (https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/02/michelles-oatmeal-raisin-cookies.html)
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Here's what I was up to...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/6b1482627ba858c57a8b78c8089de980.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/ab661974bb818e9be8695ac227d19710.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/b6d9f5a80153d487f37c62c994d75be5.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/ce8f671165652175be17543a8056d85c.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/9ea18b7169b6379fc76cdbc075b53f4d.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/bcd758e18cf26510b5a9cf5a090061e4.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/87383839af221e94339ca56c508dbb31.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/d997711306f5ce472c432bccc497c09f.jpg)
Challah bread dough, but with each strand brushed with my caramel goo, raisins and pecans, rolled up as if making sticky buns and braided into a very non-kosher challah loaf.
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@Michelle_P Quote from: Michelle_P on February 08, 2019, 12:41:05 AM
Here's what I was up to...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/6b1482627ba858c57a8b78c8089de980.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/ab661974bb818e9be8695ac227d19710.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/b6d9f5a80153d487f37c62c994d75be5.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/ce8f671165652175be17543a8056d85c.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/9ea18b7169b6379fc76cdbc075b53f4d.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/bcd758e18cf26510b5a9cf5a090061e4.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/87383839af221e94339ca56c508dbb31.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/d997711306f5ce472c432bccc497c09f.jpg)
Challah bread dough, but with each strand brushed with my caramel goo, raisins and pecans, rolled up as if making sticky buns and braided into a very non-kosher challah loaf.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I was lucky to have been able to share a coffee and this delicious treat with you yesterday.
And me trying to lose weight...
Hugs and smiles, Jess
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 08, 2019, 12:41:05 AM
Here's what I was up to...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/6b1482627ba858c57a8b78c8089de980.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/ab661974bb818e9be8695ac227d19710.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/b6d9f5a80153d487f37c62c994d75be5.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/ce8f671165652175be17543a8056d85c.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/9ea18b7169b6379fc76cdbc075b53f4d.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/bcd758e18cf26510b5a9cf5a090061e4.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/87383839af221e94339ca56c508dbb31.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190208/d997711306f5ce472c432bccc497c09f.jpg)
Challah bread dough, but with each strand brushed with my caramel goo, raisins and pecans, rolled up as if making sticky buns and braided into a very non-kosher challah loaf.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Oh yes Michelle! That looks delicious!
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I'm continuing to stay reasonably busy...
Friday I just cleaned house, vacuuming and dusting, tidying up where I had neglected to tend to things while traveling. Boring, but it has to be done!
Saturday I messaged @Jessica about heading out for a day. We had discussed this briefly over coffee and not-challah on Wednesday, and decided to go for it Saturday. Jessica dropped by, and we took off to the local rapid transit station, umbrellas in hand Just In Case...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190211/a0422bcfea423b85f8ebe8050119fdb3.jpg)
We hit the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art (I'm a member... Yay, free guest pass!) to see a couple of shows. First off was the Brassai exhibit, mostly his early 1930s photos of Paris. Fascinating stuff, from the places we both recognized, almost unchanged over 80 years, to the insights on queer culture in the City of Lights in the 1930s. Remarkable stuff!
I also wanted to catch the Sea Ranch architectural exhibit, which was really neat. This is a beautiful, somewhat remote development on the California coast, most remarkable because of it's deliberate esthetic focus on being unobtrusive, treading lightly on the land, and trying to avoid being an exclusive, "Malibu North" sort of community. They did a fair amount of work to undo a century of damage from logging, farming, and ranching activity, while at the same time coming up with very clever ways to fit in a low density development with the region's landscape. This is a development that would not even be possible with the current rules about coastal construction, but I still find it remarkable that they took a path so very different from any other coastal development I have encountered.
Well, after that it was time to find lunch, so we went to a nearby microbrewery pub. While we were in the doorway considering the menu, another downpour started, clinching the deal. That was our lunch stop. We went the tapas route with a sausage flatbread and nicely sautéed Brussels sprouts to share, along with their beers. That was nice, sitting by the window with the rain outside, warm with good conversation inside.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190211/b24639d850ea08cb112f4d115094c78a.jpg)
While there I got a call from other friends near home, inviting me to a musical event that evening. I knew that Jessica and I would be home well before this so I accepted, and let Jess know what was up. We eventually finished up lunch and took the train home, catching a shuttle bus to avoid some of the cold and rain to get back to my place. We said our farewells and Jess headed home.
I headed to my apartment, and took care of a fewe odds and ends before heading to the music venue. The performer was Daniel Nahmod, who does a sort of acoustic 'New Age/Folk' music, a bit spiritual, but nicely done. There were three songs about change and self-acceptance that could darn near have been trans anthems. It was nice enjoying the performance with several friends and acquaintances I've run across at similar events recently.
That left me pretty darn tired, so I went to bed soon after returning home.
Sunday morning I was off to attend services at my church. I had no role in the services, and no other tasks to attend to at the church for once, so this made for a very relaxed morning. We had a visiting guest minister from a church in Transylvania, a region that has had a big impact on this particular religion. There were Hungarian cultural references, and I wished my ex-mother-in-law could be there, as she would have loved hearing the choir singing old Hungarian songs!
Sunday afternoon I hosted a brunch for five people who had 'won' this in a charity auction. That was nice, at table for three hours with great conversations with friends, and plenty of good food to be had. (I took @Laurie and @Jessica there last year. I think they liked it...)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190211/15ad119c487dc460c64ce43b3636e8fd.jpg)
Now it's Monday morning, and after a good night's sleep I have fed myself, and now I am preparing for tonight, when I will be facilitating a queer community support group and leading a discussion on trans feminism and queer theory. This should be interesting.
Science experiment: Sugar-free chocolate tapioca.
It's getting there. I have a good dark chocolate flavor, similar to a 70% dark chocolate bar. The stevia I used is still leaving a slight aftertaste that needs work.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190211/167adc96c5a297af67454854106eb17a.jpg)
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 11, 2019, 01:26:39 PM
Science experiment: Sugar-free chocolate tapioca.
It's getting there. I have a good dark chocolate flavor, similar to a 70% dark chocolate bar. The stevia I used is still leaving a slight aftertaste that needs work.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190211/167adc96c5a297af67454854106eb17a.jpg)
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
@Michelle_P cc:
@JessicaDear Michelle: Thanks for posting all of your recent updates. Please know that it is a wonderful treat for me and your other followers to come along with you as you go about in your normal "Michelle" time.
Your day with Jessica around town at the Museum and at lunch sounded wonderful and the picture of you two was great to see. The food pictures were nice, but seeing both of your smiling faces was very nice to see.
I liked reading about and seeing your Science Experiment: Sugar-free chocolate tapioca.
I do use the artificial sweetener Stevia in my coffee and ice tea, however for sugar-free baking I have better luck with Splenda... (the yellow package) I find that Splenda does not leave the slight aftertaste that is apparent with the other artificial sweeteners. Just my experience anyway.
Your Sunday afternoon brunch with your 5 friends looked like a wonderful event.
Wishing you well tonight when I will be facilitating a support group and leading a discussion on trans feminism and queer theory.... I know that you will be well prepared.
I will always be looking for your future updates as you feel free to post them.
Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle
@Michelle_P @Alaskan Danielle Quote from: Michelle_P on February 11, 2019, 01:18:07 PM
I'm continuing to stay reasonably busy...
Friday I just cleaned house, vacuuming and dusting, tidying up where I had neglected to tend to things while traveling. Boring, but it has to be done!
Saturday I messaged @Jessica about heading out for a day. We had discussed this briefly over coffee and not-challah on Wednesday, and decided to go for it Saturday. Jessica dropped by, and we took off to the local rapid transit station, umbrellas in hand Just In Case...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190211/a0422bcfea423b85f8ebe8050119fdb3.jpg)
We hit the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art (I'm a member... Yay, free guest pass!) to see a couple of shows. First off was the Brassai exhibit, mostly his early 1930s photos of Paris. Fascinating stuff, from the places we both recognized, almost unchanged over 80 years, to the insights on queer culture in the City of Lights in the 1930s. Remarkable stuff!
I also wanted to catch the Sea Ranch architectural exhibit, which was really neat. This is a beautiful, somewhat remote development on the California coast, most remarkable because of it's deliberate esthetic focus on being unobtrusive, treading lightly on the land, and trying to avoid being an exclusive, "Malibu North" sort of community. They did a fair amount of work to undo a century of damage from logging, farming, and ranching activity, while at the same time coming up with very clever ways to fit in a low density development with the region's landscape. This is a development that would not even be possible with the current rules about coastal construction, but I still find it remarkable that they took a path so very different from any other coastal development I have encountered.
Well, after that it was time to find lunch, so we went to a nearby microbrewery pub. While we were in the doorway considering the menu, another downpour started, clinching the deal. That was our lunch stop. We went the tapas route with a sausage flatbread and nicely sautéed Brussels sprouts to share, along with their beers. That was nice, sitting by the window with the rain outside, warm with good conversation inside.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190211/b24639d850ea08cb112f4d115094c78a.jpg)
While there I got a call from other friends near home, inviting me to a musical event that evening. I knew that Jessica and I would be home well before this so I accepted, and let Jess know what was up. We eventually finished up lunch and took the train home, catching a shuttle bus to avoid some of the cold and rain to get back to my place. We said our farewells and Jess headed home.
I headed to my apartment, and took care of a fewe odds and ends before heading to the music venue. The performer was Daniel Nahmod, who does a sort of acoustic 'New Age/Folk' music, a bit spiritual, but nicely done. There were three songs about change and self-acceptance that could darn near have been trans anthems. It was nice enjoying the performance with several friends and acquaintances I've run across at similar events recently.
That left me pretty darn tired, so I went to bed soon after returning home.
Sunday morning I was off to attend services at my church. I had no role in the services, and no other tasks to attend to at the church for once, so this made for a very relaxed morning. We had a visiting guest minister from a church in Transylvania, a region that has had a big impact on this particular religion. There were Hungarian cultural references, and I wished my ex-mother-in-law could be there, as she would have loved hearing the choir singing old Hungarian songs!
Sunday afternoon I hosted a brunch for five people who had 'won' this in a charity auction. That was nice, at table for three hours with great conversations with friends, and plenty of good food to be had. (I took @Laurie and @Jessica there last year. I think they liked it...)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190211/15ad119c487dc460c64ce43b3636e8fd.jpg)
Now it's Monday morning, and after a good night's sleep I have fed myself, and now I am preparing for tonight, when I will be facilitating a queer community support group and leading a discussion on trans feminism and queer theory. This should be interesting.
Michelle, I'm so happy you contacted me on Saturday morning. I needed a day out with a girlfriend, and I so enjoy being out and about with you. Do you think you can get Laurie to the MOMA when she comes down?? Okay, how about the Musée Mécanique (http://www.museemecaniquesf.com/)? I think she would enjoy that.
Then the French Bistro you were mentioning at lunch.
Hugs and smiles from another California girl
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on February 11, 2019, 05:10:53 PM
@Michelle_P cc:@Jessica
Dear Michelle:
Thanks for posting all of your recent updates. Please know that it is a wonderful treat for me and your other followers to come along with you as you go about in your normal "Michelle" time.
Your day with Jessica around town at the Museum and at lunch sounded wonderful and the picture of you two was great to see. The food pictures were nice, but seeing both of your smiling faces was very nice to see.
I liked reading about and seeing your Science Experiment: Sugar-free chocolate tapioca.
I do use the artificial sweetener Stevia in my coffee and ice tea, however for sugar-free baking I have better luck with Splenda... (the yellow package) I find that Splenda does not leave the slight aftertaste that is apparent with the other artificial sweeteners. Just my experience anyway.
Your Sunday afternoon brunch with your 5 friends looked like a wonderful event.
Wishing you well tonight when I will be facilitating a support group and leading a discussion on trans feminism and queer theory.... I know that you will be well prepared.
I will always be looking for your future updates as you feel free to post them.
Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle
Artificial smartificial, I use honey in my baked goods. It's easy and better for you.
There are four rules that I go by when using local honey.
Rule 1: For every 1 cup of sugar, substitute 1/2 to 2/3 cup honey.
Rule 2: For every 1 cup of honey you're using, subtract 1/4 cup of other liquids from the recipe.
Rule 3: Add 1/4 teaspoon baking soda for every 1 cup honey used.
Rule 4: Reduce the temperature of the oven by 25°F.
It was a snowy day so I finally go around to baking your chocolate cookie recipe. Only had one egg and 120g of chocolate chips so I scaled down the recipe and used only 128 g of flour (the scale is more accurate than the measuring cup for flour). I cooked a small batch and they turned out great! I saved the rest in the refrigerator for another day.
https://blog.kingarthurflour.com/2015/05/17/chilling-cookie-dough/
As this article says, they were even better the next day. Chilling the dough improves the flavor!
The trans feminism and queer theory discussion Monday night went pretty well. A smallish group there pounded on some interesting questions for a while. The group is pretty fun, mostly younger trans nonbinary and genderfluid under the Queer umbrella (non-cisheteronormative identities). Ah, kids these days! >:-)
Tonight I went to something slightly different, an amateur radio club meeting, at the club where I came out and transitioned while president. Great presentation on antennas, although I think that the lecturer and I were the only two people in the room who understood Poynting vectors.
I did book another lecture for June while there, two days after one that was booked by another group a few months ago.
Tomorrow will be a quiet day, I think. I'll just putter around and watch the rain fall.
June?
@Michelle_P Quote from: Michelle_P on February 13, 2019, 01:20:38 AM
Tomorrow will be a quiet day, I think. I'll just putter around and watch the rain fall.
I hope it includes at least virtual hugs and kisses from your sweetheart 💕💕💕💕💕
And now it's Thursday. Gender therapist appointment after breakfast, at a location about 60 miles from home. She moved and I still see her, because I think she is that good.
After that appointment I drive home on the rain, grab a piece of toasted Challah bread with butter and an espresso, a couple of different sized bras and prosthetics, and catch the train to San Francisco.
It seems I have a preop appointment at Kaiser Gender Clinic today.
This evening I have to drop off textbooks for another instructor doing radio license classes, then run off to a LGBTQ committee meeting.
Busy day.
Oh, that preop thing? Yeah. I'm getting a labiaplasty done to correct the missing clitoral hood and labia minora. While I'm on the table I will also get mammary feminization, breast implants. About 275-300 cc on a side, moving me from a 34A-B to a 36C or there about.
The surgery was scheduled for late March. I got a phone call yesterday afternoon though. Surgery is now February 26.
*PANIC*
I'm busy getting ready. I have help coming. [emoji177][emoji3590][emoji177][emoji178]
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
@Michelle_P QuoteThe surgery was scheduled for late March. I got a phone call yesterday afternoon though. Surgery is now February 26.
Wow Michelle...excited much!
At least the date isn't getting farther away!
QuoteI'm busy getting ready. I have help coming.
The honey badgers will keep the help in line!
Hugs and smiles, Jess
I had a surprise waiting for me when I got home to grab some dinner before evening meetings!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190215/4d0ff95d4f660338578656aa1b411f13.jpg)
Yes, @Laurie , I will be your valentine!
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 14, 2019, 08:22:38 PM
I had a surprise waiting for me when I got home to grab some dinner before evening meetings!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190215/4d0ff95d4f660338578656aa1b411f13.jpg)
Yes, @Laurie , I will be your valentine!
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Awwwwwh [emoji8][emoji8]
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 14, 2019, 03:43:21 PM
The surgery was scheduled for late March. I got a phone call yesterday afternoon though. Surgery is now February 26.
*PANIC*
I'm busy getting ready. I have help coming. [emoji177][emoji3590][emoji177][emoji178]
Sounds a bit like my GCS date be bumped from 65 days away to 22 days away! It is awesome when a date suddenly becomes much closer, but it does put one into panic mode trying to get everything ready in time, including getting mentally prepared! Hope your pre-op went well.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 14, 2019, 08:22:38 PM
I had a surprise waiting for me when I got home to grab some dinner before evening meetings!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190215/4d0ff95d4f660338578656aa1b411f13.jpg)
Yes, @Laurie , I will be your valentine!
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
That is so sweet! Happy Valentines day you two!
I had my pre-op consult for a revision to my Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS) and breast augmentation (BA) week after next.
On the GCS revision, the plan is to fuse the very top of the labia majora to construct a clitoral hood, produce a pair of folds within the labia majora so as to reconstruct the labia minora, and at the posterior end the fourchette or labial frenulum, a fold of tissue joining the labia, will be lowered to be level with the introitus or vaginal entry. (This will make dilation much easier.)
I'll be off dilation for 3-4 days after surgery, and may have to restart using a narrower dilator at first. Not a big deal.
I will be using that donut pillow again for a while, though.
For the BA, I'll be getting 275-300cc implants. These will be circular smooth-surface lightly cohesive with medium profile. (Other profiles may be flat to extended or conical). With my particular anatomy and pectoral muscle form, I will probably have the most natural appearance and improved aureole placement with an over-muscle implant, with incision in the new breast fold.
I'll be on restricted activity for a month, and won't be able to lift my arms above shoulder height for a while. I'll have to shuffle the kitchen around quite a bit!
Here's what the 'test drive' for this size implant gives me...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190215/07b8431f5554077981fa745e9be946d3.jpg)
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Very nice Michelle!
I'm confident that Laurie will be able to take care of you during your recovery.....but if she needs help, I'm only 26 miles away. Shopping for food, two person lifts, if she needs a nap, etc. I can be there for you.
Hugs and smiles, Jess
Quote from: Jessica on February 15, 2019, 01:07:56 PM
Very nice Michelle!
I'm confident that Laurie will be able to take care of you during your recovery.....but if she needs help, I'm only 26 miles away. Shopping for food, two person lifts, if she needs a nap, etc. I can be there for you.
Hugs and smiles, Jess
Thank you, Jessica. I feel very fortunate to have such good friends.
Looks great Michelle and I hope the surgery turns out exactly as it needs too. I am sure the BA will give you the added boost.
Take care
Liz
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OK, Estradiol stopped for a few days now. No NSAIDS, ibuprofen, naproxen, no herbals, no supplements... And they want me to cut back on COFFEE!
AIEEEE!!!!!
At least there is breakfast...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190216/fdf900a65341892865d43f5be26b9e44.jpg)
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 16, 2019, 09:51:54 AM
OK, Estradiol stopped for a few days now. No NSAIDS, ibuprofen, naproxen, no herbals, no supplements... And they want me to cut back on COFFEE!
AIEEEE!!!!!
Big
oof there!
Michelle, I know that this surgery is important to you but, cut back on coffee!!!! Now is the surgery that important????
Love you girlfriend and good luck with your procedures,
Tia Anne & Debi
Quote from: Anne Blake on February 16, 2019, 04:06:35 PM
Michelle, I know that this surgery is important to you but, cut back on coffee!!!! Now is the surgery that important????
Love you girlfriend and good luck with your procedures,
Tia Anne & Debi
I know! Tough choices I have to make.
Espresso doesn't count as coffee, right? ;)
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 16, 2019, 10:19:42 PM
I know! Tough choices I have to make.
Espresso doesn't count as coffee, right? ;)
Isn't it a seperate food group like vege or meat? [emoji23][emoji23]
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That looks like my Sunday breky and a large coffee for me please , Give Laurie a hug from me when you see her and don't work her to hard!!!
Good luck with your revision Michelle. I would not like to have to cut back on coffee myself. You are looking very pretty these days.
Hugs.
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I figured out why I have been feeling so 'off' yesterday and this morning. I stopped estradiol on Thursday per surgeon's orders. The hot flashes all night were a clue...
So... Breakfast started with coffee and Tylenol. I then made my banana pancakes. A banana, two tablespoons of rolled oats, one egg, 1/4 tsp baking powder in the blender. Blend, pour cakes into hot pan...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190217/348005bc4a7926c6b0c9acdcf5ffdb9b.jpg)
Better now, knowing that the lousy feeling is just Estradiol withdrawal/PMS. Now, I've said it before, but it really is remarkable that ciswomen go through this quite regularly, yet they do not leave a trail of dead males behind them.
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Yummy pancakes Michelle. Yes, I'm not looking forward to stopping E before my surgeries. I just saw first hand from my friend @AvaNovum the results. Hot flashes, night sweats and the whole just feeling crappy thing. Hang in there. You know how this goes.
Hugs.
@Michelle_P Dear Michelle:Your start of your day was similar to mine... I fell on the slippery sidewalk leaving my office yesterday when locking up and my hip and leg are all bruised and were hurting all night so this morning my first thing was to down
4-Ibuprofen and several cups of strong coffee... and an my regular every morning
V8.
Your terrific looking and desirable and tasty Pancakes would have be a nice addition but I ended up getting my breakfast at the coffee shop when I arrived at work... a
BearClaw pastry and more
strong coffee...
Breakfast of champions!!! LOL ;) ;D :o
Thank you for making my mouth water by viewing your Pancake picture!!!
I will have to try out your recipe that you so nicely included in your posting.
Wishing you well with your next procedure coming up...
Hugs and more hugs,
DanielleQuote from: Michelle_P on February 17, 2019, 10:17:07 AM
I figured out why I have been feeling so 'off' yesterday and this morning. I stopped estradiol on Thursday per surgeon's orders. The hot flashes all night were a clue...
So... Breakfast started with coffee and Tylenol. I then made my banana pancakes. A banana, two tablespoons of rolled oats, one egg, 1/4 tsp baking powder in the blender. Blend, pour cakes into hot pan...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190217/348005bc4a7926c6b0c9acdcf5ffdb9b.jpg)
Better now, knowing that the lousy feeling is just Estradiol withdrawal/PMS. Now, I've said it before, but it really is remarkable that ciswomen go through this quite regularly, yet they do not leave a trail of dead males behind them.
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I went into my bank to get a legal document notarized. This is a service they offer for account holders at no charge, and I have used it before. The notary and I ducked into a side office to conduct the legal ritual, with my ID, thumbprint, and signature.
The notary area had the usual "known to me as" language...
Quote...and acknowledged to me that he/she/they executed the same in his/her/their authorized capacity, and that by his/her/their signature ...
Rather progressive on the part of the lawyers! The notary had to strike the inappropriate pronouns as part of the execution. They rather sheepishly looked at me and said "Pardon me, no disrespect intended, but I have to ask which pronouns are right..."
OK. Exactly the right thing to do here, and I reassured them of that. We got on with the process and wrapped things up.
It still gave me a little twinge, as I am not at all sure that the notary would have asked this of another person. I'm pretty sure I have been clocked and known as trans at this branch, where they have known me since early in my transition.
Just another one of the speed bumps in life, I suppose.
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 20, 2019, 11:27:50 AM
I went into my bank to get a legal document notarized. This is a service they offer for account holders at no charge, and I have used it before. The notary and I ducked into a side office to conduct the legal ritual, with my ID, thumbprint, and signature.
The notary area had the usual "known to me as" language...
Rather progressive on the part of the lawyers! The notary had to strike the inappropriate pronouns as part of the execution. They rather sheepishly looked at me and said "Pardon me, no disrespect intended, but I have to ask which pronouns are right..."
OK. Exactly the right thing to do here, and I reassured them of that. We got on with the process and wrapped things up.
It still gave me a little twinge, as I am not at all sure that the notary would have asked this of another person. I'm pretty sure I have been clocked and known as trans at this branch, where they have known me since early in my transition.
Just another one of the speed bumps in life, I suppose.
I was talking to my electrocutioner about this and we came to the same conclusion that if you are obviously presenting as a woman, there should be no misunderstandings.
I know how this feels Michelle. I'm transitioning in place so everyone I frequent knew the old me. For the most part they are amazed at my courage and determination. Aside from the occasional misgendering, they mean well.
I would also agree with Jessica. If we are presenting as female, there should be no misunderstanding. Otherwise it seems they are being rude.
I know it's only a minor thin but really....why? You don't look nor sound like a guy and it's a stupid thing to ask...they would not ask it of anyone else...It makes you wonder if they really thought it through....somehow I doubt it.
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Quote from: LizK on February 20, 2019, 01:05:38 PM
I know it's only a minor thin but really....why? You don't look nor sound like a guy and it's a stupid thing to ask...they would not ask it of anyone else...It makes you wonder if they really thought it through....somehow I doubt it.
I likely am read as trans fairly easily. Within trans communities we tend to reassure each other about how well we are doing, the whole 'passing' thing, to a fairly optimistic degree. Certainly, I pass on the street. Equally certainly, I do not pass with people who engage in extended conversations, or I know I am trans from my activism, but never met 'him'.
I relocated when I went full-time. There should be no memory of 'him' coming up with anyone I am in contact with other than that radio club (which has done a great job with this, no misgendering or deadnaming!).
I will also note that the pronoun options offered in the notarization were "he/she/they. Non-binary persons cannot be readily recognized on sight.
As I told the notary, asking is the right thing to do.
My issues are more to do with my own insecurities than anything else.
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That would be one of the problems living in California. I don't think that Arizona has alternate pronouns and as they ask for your drivers license, the have the pronoun without asking for it. There has been talk about LGBT laws and protections so that may change in the future.
I have surgery coming up tomorrow.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244936.msg2231171.html#msg2231171 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244936.msg2231171.html#msg2231171)
I have a surgery scheduled for tomorrow, February 26 with Dr. Salim of the San Francisco Gender Clinic, at Kaiser San Francisco for a revision and breast augmentation (BA).
On the GCS revision, the plan is to fuse the very top of the labia majora to construct a clitoral hood, produce a pair of folds within the labia majora so as to reconstruct the labia minora, and at the posterior end the fourchette or labial frenulum, a fold of tissue joining the labia, will be lowered to be level with the introitus or vaginal entry. (This will make dilation much easier.)
This is going to immobilize me for a few days, and slow me down for weeks in recovery.
Thank goodness that @Laurie has offered to stay with me while I am healing up. That will greatly improve my state of mind. I'm trying to get things together around the house to minimize work for her. Her help and love is very much appreciated. 💖💕💖
All the best for tomorrow, Michelle. Love to you and Laurie!
Stephanie
Blessings for you in your surgery and healing. Hug Laurie for us.
We love you girl,
Tia Anne & Debi
Good luck my friend! 🌸🌸🌸
good luck...I hope it goes really well and so does your recovery
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One... More... Time!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190226/0dc2ca3b2eb93eb08a00fdc99d2737ee.jpg)
At Kaiser SF for my surgery.
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I trust all goes well today. Fortunately you have a great support team with you. She will keep you happy and well fed on the other side.
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Best wishes to you both!
Nice to see your smiling face.glad it all went well.
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I trust it all went well, don't work Laurie to hard but I know she will take good care of you.
All done!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190227/3cb8f4c3991fa06d8b47905946674635.jpg)
I've been discharged, and have a special door prize ...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190227/69876f2d8229dc69b2b17a3d70e9d0e0.jpg)
The swelling from surgery appears to have pinched off my meatus so I have a Foley catheter to keep me company for a week.
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@Michele_P
Dear Michele:I have been eagerly awaiting your update after your procedure today... now you can sleep all night without waking up for "pee" breaks to the bathroom!!!
A silver lining in every cloud!!!I trust that
@Laurie and
@Jessica are tending to your every need as you are recovering!!!! If not, please let me know and I will be right down to straighten them out!!!
Thank you for sharing and posting.
Hugs, best wishes, and heal up quickly!!!
DanielleQuote from: Michelle_P on February 26, 2019, 08:27:38 PM
All done!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190227/3cb8f4c3991fa06d8b47905946674635.jpg)
I've been discharged, and have a special door prize ...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190227/69876f2d8229dc69b2b17a3d70e9d0e0.jpg)
The swelling from surgery appears to have pinched off my meatus so I have a Foley catheter to keep me company for a week.
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You look good Michelle! Rest up and heal well!
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 26, 2019, 08:27:38 PM
All done!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190227/3cb8f4c3991fa06d8b47905946674635.jpg)
I've been discharged, and have a special door prize ...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190227/69876f2d8229dc69b2b17a3d70e9d0e0.jpg)
The swelling from surgery appears to have pinched off my meatus so I have a Foley catheter to keep me company for a week.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Michelle, it's wonderful to see you looking so well.
You have this expression of
"Yes!" on your face.
See you soon 💕💕💕
@Alaskan Danielle Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on February 26, 2019, 08:39:44 PM
@Michele_P
Dear Michele:
I have been eagerly awaiting your update after your procedure today... now you can sleep all night without waking up for "pee" breaks to the bathroom!!! A silver lining in every cloud!!!
I trust that @Laurie and @Jessica are tending to your every need as you are recovering!!!! If not, please let me know and I will be right down to straighten them out!!!
Thank you for sharing and posting.
Hugs, best wishes, and heal up quickly!!!
Danielle
I'm going to be visiting after Michelle gets some needed quiet time. She is in very loving hands with Laurie at her beck and call.
Michelle has made it easier for Laurie as she had precooked and frozen meals enough for a week. When I was there Michelle had a slow cooker full of short ribs, they looked delicious!
Oh, and did I mention that she baked plenty of cookies?
I guess that would go without saying.
🌸🌸🌸
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 26, 2019, 08:27:38 PM
All done!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190227/3cb8f4c3991fa06d8b47905946674635.jpg)
I've been discharged, and have a special door prize ...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190227/69876f2d8229dc69b2b17a3d70e9d0e0.jpg)
The swelling from surgery appears to have pinched off my meatus so I have a Foley catheter to keep me company for a week.
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Yay! All done! I'm guessing the swelling is to be expected. You look great Michelle. How did you BA go?
The procedures went well, no major problems. I had 300cc implants placed on each side, and once settled in I expect to size out at around a 36C. Enough that my wardrobe will fit better... 😉
Due to swelling at the labiaplasty site I came home yesterday evening with a little door prize, a Foley catheter and set of collection bags. It looks like Dr Salim made all of the changes we had discussed before surgery. A little swelling was always a possibility.
I've had to wear a Foley before, not a big deal. With a leg bag and drape cut pant or a long skirt, I can get around just fine. In a week I can remove the Foley and try my own hardware without it.
Other than that, I'm a little sore, and on bed rest for a few days. @Laurie is being her sweet and lovely self and helping me through recovery, even bringing me breakfast in bed! 😋
@Michelle_P Dear Michelle:I am so very happy to read of your surgery successes and your good recovery.
It is so nice for you to have your main squeeze
@Laurie at your side to help you while you are recovering.
I also understand that our very good mutual friend
@Jessica is coming your way as well...
WOWzers... you have TWO concerned and very caring friends looking after your every need!
Regarding breast size, for me, I leveled off at a C-cup as a result of my HRT after a little more than 2 years... and because I lead a very active lifestyle I do not want any larger. I have lady-friends here that I jog and run with and one of them have very large breasts ... probably DD and she has to wear a tight high-support sports bra and she still has difficulties... plus she has difficulties finding clothing styles and sizes that will fit her body correctly and still accommodate her larger breasts.
I would think that you will be happy with your C-cup.... provides good cleavage and a nice pronounced shape without the issues of larger breast sizes. But of course every body is different and every one may desire different sizes.
How much longer will you have deal with that Foley catheter???
Thank you for keeping your thread up to date... your followers want to follow!!!!
Hugs and best wishes ... and good healing and recovery.
Danielle
Wishing you a speedy recovery!
Marion
I'm slowly healing up from the surgeries. Lots of soreness, and itching around the incisions for the BA. It looks like loss of sensation won't be an issue.
I'm taking my antibiotics. I have also been taking half of a Norco tablet for pain management at bedtime and twice yesterday. I'll back off from even that as healing progresses.
The itching under the surgical bra is the biggest annoyance, to be honest. The 'unveiling' is tomorrow, and I can't wait to take a shower! That whole-body gluconate wipedown before surgery has me feeling sticky.
I will have the Foley catheter with me over the weekend. I'll pull that on Monday. If I need to be recatheterized Kaiser Urgent Care is two blocks away.
Laurie is taking good care of me, as well as finding her way around my kitchen. She is even trying her hand at my filterkaffee. Brave soul!
So glad to hear your recovery from surgery is going great. I was surprised how challenging labiaplasty was - not horrible but much more involved than I'd realized. I also did the BA thing at the same time (or more accurately, had it done while I was asleep). Being able to take that first real shower after surgery feels awesommme
Thank you, @Kendra
This has me slowed down a bit, and it certainly isn't comfortable, but
I think that I needed a break. :)
I'm laying down, typing with one hand, while Laurie is asleep, head on my arm and shoulder next to me. Yes, I am in love with her!
Life is being very good to me right now.
@Michelle_P Dear Michelle:I hear that our
very good mutual friend may be coming your way with delicious
edible gifts...
I asked her to give both of you and
@Laurie a hug for me when she gets there... please make certain that she does!!!
I trust that you have a good day today... wishing you a good healing and speedy recovery,
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on February 28, 2019, 12:10:37 PM
@Michelle_P
Dear Michelle:
I hear that our very good mutual friend may be coming your way with delicious edible gifts...
I asked her to give both of you and @Laurie a hug for me when she gets there... please make certain that she does!!!
I trust that you have a good day today... wishing you a good healing and speedy recovery,
Hugs,
Danielle
Indeed! And they have taken over my kitchen!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190228/2e61174abae1cba349876981256bdf05.jpg)
@Laurie and @Jessica in Michelle's kitchen!
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 28, 2019, 02:26:48 PM
Indeed! And they have taken over my kitchen!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190228/2e61174abae1cba349876981256bdf05.jpg)
@Laurie and @Jessica in Michelle's kitchen!
EEEKKK! The honey badgers have taken over the kitchen. Great news Michelle. You know we already knew you and Laurie are love birds. Please give hugs all around for me.
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 28, 2019, 02:26:48 PM
Indeed! And they have taken over my kitchen!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190228/2e61174abae1cba349876981256bdf05.jpg)
@Laurie and @Jessica in Michelle's kitchen!
Had a wonderful lunch with my good friends!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190301/8d87204e509dc3bcbf5cfbb5bf9c99ee.jpg)
Oh, and
@Donica the honey badgers each had their own Saltimbocca, but we refused them raviolis or Panna Cotta. They snarled but accepted their lot....
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Not only did I get joy at giving smiles to my friends faces I got this!
Don't let the label fool you. This is some of Laurie's famous "Wandering Waifs" sauerkraut. Delicious!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190301/fa8b0e548284f4e843b93042bba29153.jpg)
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And it was all delicious! That was a wonderful thing that @Jessica did, preparing a delicious meal here for us all to share! I feel blessed to have friends like this.
🥰
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 28, 2019, 08:05:45 PM
And it was all delicious! That was a wonderful thing that @Jessica did, preparing a delicious meal here for us all to share! I feel blessed to have friends like this.
🥰
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 28, 2019, 08:05:45 PM
And it was all delicious! That was a wonderful thing that @Jessica did, preparing a delicious meal here for us all to share! I feel blessed to have friends like this.
🥰
Laurie provided the biggest help today....don't say it....
Nope it's not
(she stayed out of my way)...
It was her caring for the needs of her love.
I hope you all understand that Laurie has opted not to endure electrifying torture just so she can be by Michelle's side. That's devotion. 💕💕💕
Two happy ladies!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190301/5b3902f3fae448eff2072ed80d20c6e3.jpg)
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I'm sure Laurie's sauerkraut is delicious. I just never acquired the taste for it. Not that I haven't try time and again. It was one of those foods my parents forced cooked for us to eat way to often. Eewww!! Sauerkraut and franks.
Sweet hugs ladies.
Quote from: Donica on March 01, 2019, 04:06:16 PM
I'm sure Laurie's sauerkraut is delicious. I just never acquired the taste for it. Not that I haven't try time and again. It was one of those foods my parents forced cooked for us to eat way to often. Eewww!! Sauerkraut and franks.
Sweet hugs ladies.
@Donica Dear Donica:I love sauerkraut and franks or also with Kielbasa .....
... mmm, mmm, good!!!!
Hugs,
Danielle
This morning marked the date I was to remove the bra and shower. Oh, what a relief that is! Of course, the unveiling produced it's own reaction. For just 300cc on a side, well, damn! [emoji2956] The incisions are quite small, surprising me. It looks like they will wind up right on the fold, almost invisible.
After the shower, I had to re-don a sports bra to maintain pressure and placement. But first...
I have a fun Tommy Bahama resortware dress, rather open on top, that was a bit problematic to wear out in public. I'd glue on a NuBra, and apply bronzer to try and fake cleavage out of my 34A-B bust. Now, however...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190301/c2e6a980a97c07d654e5fe98133752b0.jpg)
@Michelle_P Dear Michelle:
Wowzers!!! Yes, quite a difference for sure.
Per our mutual comments recently on your thread I am convinced that the size that you chose is a great match for your body and build... they "fit" you perfectly.
Thanks for sharing your photos.
Hugs,
DanielleQuote from: Michelle_P on March 01, 2019, 04:29:13 PM
This morning marked the date I was to remove the bra and shower. Oh, what a relief that is! Of course, the unveiling produced it's own reaction. For just 300cc on a side, well, damn! [emoji2956] The incisions are quite small, surprising me. It looks like they will wind up right on the fold, almost invisible.
After the shower, I had to re-don a sports bra to maintain pressure and placement. But first...
I have a fun Tommy Bahama resortware dress, rather open on top, that was a bit problematic to wear out in public. I'd glue on a NuBra, and apply bronzer to try and fake cleavage out of my 34A-B bust. Now, however...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190301/c2e6a980a97c07d654e5fe98133752b0.jpg)
WhooHoo! Look at you. Why you got boobs! Congratulations Michelle.
Big hugs.
Quote from: Donica on March 01, 2019, 05:05:39 PM
WhooHoo! Look at you. Why you got boobs! Congratulations Michelle.
Big hugs.
Thanks! I don't think I am doing too badly for a 65 year old broad. ;D
Michelle, you look great. I am glad you are recovering well.
I am so happy you and Laurie have each other. I have tears in my eyes, I know how very difficult things were in the past for both of you.
Quote from: Michelle_P on March 01, 2019, 04:29:13 PM
This morning marked the date I was to remove the bra and shower. Oh, what a relief that is! Of course, the unveiling produced it's own reaction. For just 300cc on a side, well, damn! [emoji2956] The incisions are quite small, surprising me. It looks like they will wind up right on the fold, almost invisible.
After the shower, I had to re-don a sports bra to maintain pressure and placement. But first...
I have a fun Tommy Bahama resortware dress, rather open on top, that was a bit problematic to wear out in public. I'd glue on a NuBra, and apply bronzer to try and fake cleavage out of my 34A-B bust. Now, however...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190301/c2e6a980a97c07d654e5fe98133752b0.jpg)
Very nice Michelle. Time to recycle that NuBra!
WOW Michelle you look (and are) amazing! And I bet you feel great overall.
Looking Fabulous, Michelle!
Thank you, Donica, Jessica, Kelly, and Kendra! I have to sat that this procedure has produced an unexpected increase in self-esteem and confidence. Is that shallow, or what? 🤣
Meanwhile, healing continues at The Other End. Swelling is down on the revision, and I think and hope that it will look OK.
Today was the recommended day to remove the catheter and test my own functionality. Once again, I managed to reverse the order I'm supposed to do things. When my high fiber diet and stool softeners sent me to the restroom, while sitting there I heard that distinctive sound and sensations of an emptying bladder. I managed to void AROUND the damn catheter.
OK, that was a clue that I do not need it any more. I got out the syringe and deflated the Foley catheter bulb while standing in the shower. A little wiggle, and it slid right out. That was a pleasant change from previous times I've had to remove a Foley. The considerably shorter urethra I have now probably helped...
We had company this afternoon, with @Jessica dropping by for a visit. Cookies were baked, and leftovers sampled! We had a very nice visit.
I also did a little more baking, a jalapeño cheddar fougasse. It was delicious. Now it's gone! (Urp!)
QuoteI also did a little more baking, a jalapeño cheddar fougasse. It was delicious. Now it's gone! (Urp!)
Unfortunately I had my own cooking chores to deal with at home and needed to leave before it was finished, else I would have loved to try it!
The cookies and leftovers were delicious, and I mean delicious!
Great to see you mending up so well...although the Foley falling out has to be a unique experience...I assume the balloon had deflated otherwise I would imagine it could have been quite uncomfortable.
Nice to hear about you new found confidence and self esteem. What a great outcome
Take care
Liz
I did a bit of baking before dragging Laurie off to Vespers and a community dinner.
I made a stuffed 'challah' three ways! Each strand of a three strand braided challah was rolled flat, a filling added, and then re-rolled, braided, and baked.
The fillings were a brown sugar cinnamon raisin mix, an almond brown sugar raisin mix, and dark chocolate.
This makes a fun dessert bread. Laurie says, "The chocolate is still creamy! How did you do that?" [emoji6]
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190307/aa8aca6fbfda18524c5a1de5cbe9f118.jpg)
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Quote from: Michelle_P on March 07, 2019, 12:17:15 AM
I did a bit of baking before dragging Laurie off to Vespers and a community dinner.
I made a stuffed 'challah' three ways! Each strand of a three strand braided challah was rolled flat, a filling added, and then re-rolled, braided, and baked.
The fillings were a brown sugar cinnamon raisin mix, an almond brown sugar raisin mix, and dark chocolate.
This makes a fun dessert bread. Laurie says, "The chocolate is still creamy! How did you do that?" [emoji6]
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190307/aa8aca6fbfda18524c5a1de5cbe9f118.jpg)
Oh Em Gee! That looks and sounds so awesome! The smell and taste must be heavenly.
Give up something for Lent? Sure, I'll give up my diet.
The real question is, how do you stay so dang skinny with that kind of stuff in the house? I just hit a new high weight the other day (and no, I'm not divulging that number) and I don't have anything like that around.
Stephanie
Y'all are baking such wonderful things! Now that I am moved into my new apartment and getting things set up, I think I will give baking a go! First up will be oatmeal chocolate chip cookies! First I have to find my favourite recipe! Must track down a copy of the Harrowsmith Cookbook #1.
Quote from: islandgirl on March 07, 2019, 10:49:39 AM
Y'all are baking such wonderful things! Now that I am moved into my new apartment and getting things set up, I think I will give baking a go! First up will be oatmeal chocolate chip cookies! First I have to find my favourite recipe! Must track down a copy of the Harrowsmith Cookbook #1.
@islandgirl Dear Kelly:I am so happy that you are getting settled in your new home. Oh yeah, getting things set up in your new place is always a big and usually happy chore.... now, finding things that you have packed away is even a bigger chore and sometimes not so happy.
I trust that you will find your coveted Cookbook and make that batch of Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies !!!
Obviously you know the rule here on the forums...
Pictures or it didn't happen !!Thanks for posting and sharing your life events with all of us....
Hugs and best wishes in your new home.
Danielle
Bought the book and this weekend I will give the cookies a go! Pictures to follow!I hope my efforts live up to the efforts of y'all!
Quote from: Michelle_P on March 07, 2019, 12:17:15 AM
I did a bit of baking before dragging Laurie off to Vespers and a community dinner.
I made a stuffed 'challah' three ways! Each strand of a three strand braided challah was rolled flat, a filling added, and then re-rolled, braided, and baked.
The fillings were a brown sugar cinnamon raisin mix, an almond brown sugar raisin mix, and dark chocolate.
This makes a fun dessert bread. Laurie says, "The chocolate is still creamy! How did you do that?" [emoji6]
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190307/aa8aca6fbfda18524c5a1de5cbe9f118.jpg)
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At first glance I thought it was Italian sausage cheese bread.
(https://i.imgur.com/EPRatIu.jpg)
But you version is much sweater. Yum num num!!
This has been quite a week. I'm active in my Unitarian Universalist community, and we had a bit of a self-inflicted wound this past week, with publication of an article in the national magazine that talked about transgender issues from the point of view of a friendly, if clumsy and poorly informed cisgender person.
The article modeled a number of hurtful behaviors, even to the point of trying to justify the old "Have you had THE surgery yet?" nosy and judgemental query. Some bad information was included, and the article assumed we all follow the same path, seeking the same treatment, and that it was game for judgemental discussion. Essentially, the article treated our visibility as a difficulty for the cisgender members of the church to deal with. This is commonly referred to as 'centering' the privileged cisgender person in the discussion of transgender people.
The article was taken as advice and permission by some cisgender persons to ask intrusive questions of others, and in a manner similar to other issues around marginalized persons, once again 'centered' the most privileged and resulted in discussion of how we trans persons impacted THEM.
Yuck.
I've written some stuff, and some of our best writers in the community have been working on this. It's been wearying. The magazine editor and the president of the UU Association have apologized, acknowledging what went wrong and outlining plans to avoid this in the future.
It's a misstep. We will all learn from it, I am sure, and in the future we will all do better.
I still wish it had never happened.
Hi Michelle
I followed along with the whole thing as it appeared to unfold and I would say that it was handled better than most. I liked the apology and it seemed genuine. Agreed it would have been better if it didn't happen but all in all the apology and follow through from an outsiders point of view appeared to be genuine.
A few goodies coming to my church's Commitment Sunday breakfast, part of the annual pledge drive kickoff.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190323/1fe1bb9e8305620d5f2a9939b34cdee3.jpg)
On the left is the Sour Cream Coffee Cake. The other coffee cakes are gluten-free. There is also a 'stuffed challah', with each braid strand having a different filling. One is a cinnamon, one almond, and one chocolate. At the upper right are caramel pecan cinnamon sticky buns.
I've been keeping busy, as well as enjoying the company of @Laurie who has been with me through my recovery, making sure I followed doctor's orders. I'll be one-month postop in a few days, and am looking forward to losing the lifting and movement restrictions.
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@Michelle_P Dear Michelle:OK, you have done it now.... I need to take a quick break and go over the next door coffee shop and get some of their goodies... I am thinking cookies, cake and pie, oh, and some chocolate too!!!
WOW, all of what you prepared looks so very good and is no doubt very tasty.
Your Caramel Pecan Cinnamon sticky buns have my attention for sure.
The Stuffed Challah is also grabbing my attention... the fillings: Cinnamon, Almond, and Chocolate each sound terrific and each of them are my favorites.
I love the pictures....
Hugs,
Danielle
Is there a word for pastry dysphoria ;) wishing I had a piece of each of those? They look wonderful. Hi to @Laurie too.
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Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 23, 2019, 03:51:42 PM
...
The Stuffed Challah is also grabbing my attention... the fillings: Cinnamon, Almond, and Chocolate each sound terrific and each of them are my favorites.
I love the pictures....
Hugs,
Danielle
The challah is really easy to make. It's a simple dough, flour, light oil, eggs, a little sugar and yeast, let to rise and divided in three parts. Each part is rolled into a strip around 5" by 18", buttered up with a filling except for the last inch on one long side, then rolled up to form a strand for braiding.
The braid is made, then the ends pinched together and tucked under the braid. It gets to rise another hour, then an egg white wash is applied. I'll sprinkle coarse sugar on these braids to stick in the egg wash, just before baking.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190323/9bf8860cf3034717e02dc1e1462f578b.jpg)
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Wow Michelle! You have been a busy bakey girl. I'm sure the parishioners will appreciate your efforts. I too am gaining weight just looking at those yummy pastries. I know how Laurie must feel.
Quote from: Donica on March 23, 2019, 05:27:32 PM
Wow Michelle! You have been a busy bakey girl. I'm sure the parishioners will appreciate your efforts. I too am gaining weight just looking at those yummy pastries. I know how Laurie must feel.
Over this winter, I gained quite a bit. Now I have to lose it again. :(
I'm going back to salads, simple grain breakfasts, and logging every bite for a while. This has been a disaster of a winter for my weight.
It's much more fun to gain weight than lose it!
I agree the fun is in putting the weight on. Taking it off, not so much. I've already switched my diet but won't bother tracking it all. I need to get more active. The cold winter is over and it will be warmer soon and I'll be able to get out more. I really don't like my treadmill! >:(
Hi Michelle,
Have you ever thought of using arrow root, almond flour and mozzarella cheese for your dough base and stevia for sweetener?
I have been eating low carb and I have seen some good results. You can still bake but keep your carbs below 60 per day.
I exercise a lot and have noticed fat redistributing and a slow loss of fat. I eat a lot of calories and am full when I eat. I also do time restricted feeding.
Rachel
Quote from: Rachel on March 23, 2019, 08:32:52 PM
Hi Michelle,
Have you ever thought of using arrow root, almond flour and mozzarella cheese for your dough base and stevia for sweetener?
I have been eating low carb and I have seen some good results. You can still bake but keep your carbs below 60 per day.
I exercise a lot and have noticed fat redistributing and a slow loss of fat. I eat a lot of calories and am full when I eat. I also do time restricted feeding.
Rachel
Yes, that is an interesting approach. Alas, I am supposed to be limiting my protein intake to 16% of my calories to try and preserve kidney function.
With you on the weight gain, bad time for me . Now its hard to shift
A weight gain may be expected from the stress of your recent surgery.
I practice portion control by cooking in small amounts. Cookie dough can be refrigerated. I'll bake a few cookies when I'm making dinner in the oven.
I'll also freeze baked goods while freshly cooked for eating later.
Quote from: Donica on March 23, 2019, 05:27:32 PM
Wow Michelle! You have been a busy bakey girl. I'm sure the parishioners will appreciate your efforts. I too am gaining weight just looking at those yummy pastries. I know how Laurie must feel.
I admit it, Michelle's weight gain is not her fault. I did it. This past month I have been doing most of the cooking and prior to that she has made 3 trips to my place where I fed her my cooking. I know nothing of calories, sugars, carbs or portion control. Michelle is too polite to no clear her plate of the meals I serve her. So, yep, I did it. Somehow I managed to remain at about the same weight( around 193/4) At this rate she may ban me from the kitchen.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on March 24, 2019, 04:43:36 PM
I admit it, Michelle's weight gain is not her fault. I did it. This past month I have been doing most of the cooking and prior to that she has made 3 trips to my place where I fed her my cooking. I know nothing of calories, sugars, carbs or portion control. Michelle is too polite to no clear her plate of the meals I serve her. So, yep, I did it. Somehow I managed to remain at about the same weight( around 193/4) At this rate she may ban me from the kitchen.
Hugs,
Laurie
Ha! No, what I put in me is my fault. I took a break from measuring ingredients and portions, overdid things horribly, and now I have to get back in my old habits of measuring and recording everything. I need to get my weight back down by early May! (Then I can get into fresh trouble on that cruise ship!)
Quote from: Michelle_P on March 24, 2019, 08:22:53 PM
Ha! No, what I put in me is my fault. I took a break from measuring ingredients and portions, overdid things horribly, and now I have to get back in my old habits of measuring and recording everything. I need to get my weight back down by early May! (Then I can get into fresh trouble on that cruise ship!)
Oh. Are you going on a cruise, Hon?
Quote from: Laurie on March 24, 2019, 08:26:38 PM
Oh. Are you going on a cruise, Hon?
Yep. I may even drag along someone to join my merriment at sea and in port.
I feel a need to have fun while some staff takes care of my every whim. I deserve it! ;)
I've heard those boat like to spread sickness and their engines just quit running, and sometimes the try beaching themselves or hit ice bergs. Sounds dangerous to me.
Quote from: Michelle_P on March 24, 2019, 08:29:12 PM
Yep. I may even drag along someone to join my merriment at sea and in port.
I feel a need to have fun while some staff takes care of my every whim. I deserve it! ;)
I didn't think we were going to tell; her about
our cruise! Oh well never mind...
@Laurie I'll make sure she has a life preserver just in case of trouble ;D ;D
Oh how fun ladies! I looked into taking a cruise a bit ago but then, like Laurie, I found the horrible things that can happen on cruise ships.
Don't worry Laurie! It's rare that this happens but..... Like the lottery, you can't win if you don't play ;D
Quote from: Donica on March 25, 2019, 04:43:58 PM
Oh how fun ladies! I looked into taking a cruise a bit ago but then, like Laurie, I found the horrible things that can happen on cruise ships.
Don't worry Laurie! It's rare that this happens but..... Like the lottery, you can't win if you don't play ;D
It is going to be fun she tells me. I will enjoy it she tells me....
Last week I had a rough spot, what looked like a chip, appear on an upper molar. Since I am about due for a cleaning anyway, I decided to try out one of the new dentists that had been recommended to me. I had fired my old dentist when the hygienist assigned to me had repeatedly misgendered me.
I called and got an appointment the same day. They e-mailed some paperwork. I filled out the new patient forms in advance, printed them, and brought them along. They got me in right away, did some x-rays, and offered me several choices in treatment. We went with a resin filling, which was done a few minutes later. They were very efficient, and no issues were raised. No misgendering, and they seem to do good work at a fair price.
Looks like I have a new dentist.
Quote from: Michelle_P on March 26, 2019, 12:40:57 AM...<snip> .. Looks like I have a new dentist.
YAY! :)
I don't understand some people. It's not that hard to be respectful and considerate even if you personally don't agree with something. I have been so fortunate to not have encountered any malicious responses, well minimal anyways :P
Quote from: Michelle_P on March 26, 2019, 12:40:57 AM
Last week I had a rough spot, what looked like a chip, appear on an upper molar. Since I am about due for a cleaning anyway, I decided to try out one of the new dentists that had been recommended to me. I had fired my old dentist when the hygienist assigned to me had repeatedly misgendered me.
I called and got an appointment the same day. They e-mailed some paperwork. I filled out the new patient forms in advance, printed them, and brought them along. They got me in right away, did some x-rays, and offered me several choices in treatment. We went with a resin filling, which was done a few minutes later. They were very efficient, and no issues were raised. No misgendering, and they seem to do good work at a fair price.
Looks like I have a new dentist.
This it good to hear Michelle. I made the mistake of going to a dentist with bad reviews of being overpriced and adding unnecessary treatment. They had some good reviews as being the best in the area.
Sure enough, because of less than favorable dental coverage, they wanted over $40,000 out of pocket for many added unnecessary treatment. Of course I opted out and went on to find a dentist more in my price range. My new dentist was shocked when I showed him the quote from doctor X, which is how I found out about all the unnecessary treatments doctor X had added.
It pays to shop around.
Today I had my 1 month postop checkup. The surgeon and staff at the Kaiser San Francisco Gender Pathways clinic were friendly and efficient as always. The front desk checked me in on sight, knew my name, and had me right in. The surgeon checked his handiwork, cleaned out the last of the sutures from the labiaplasty and checked things over. No problems, and the remaining redness and swelling should fade over the next few months.
The breast augmentation is settling in nicely, with the skin softening and encapsulation proceeding as expected. I had 300cc implants placed over-muscle, moving from a 34B to a 36C-D. This will continue settling for the next few months, but with most swelling gone the size should be pretty consistent now.
The surgeon suggested I sleep with a sports bra for the next 3 months if I can stand it. I can now sleep on my side or stomach (!). No underwire bras for several months which I am just fine with! They would impact the scar healing and some other details of the process. I'll have another checkup in 3-4 months.
After the checkup I got myself a treat at Lori's Diner (they clearly misspelled @Laurie ), their French Toast.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190328/5786927420e7424739e651742e512183.jpg) (https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190328/8177adc4b0c6c7c9444138e098a9f147.jpg)
Then it was time for a little shopping, a little black bikini with a retro waist. I managed to find parts that fit on the top and bottom. Yay mix-n-match pieces.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190328/e3465f83f97977460d6acefc34aa040f.jpg)
I wrapped up the day with a guided meditation and dinner at the UU church.
TRIGGER WARNING: Going stealth? Woodworking?
I was asked an odd question recently, by a therapist I see regularly. I see a therapist because this helps me to clarify my thoughts, reach better decisions about the path my life may take going forward.
My therapist asked me if I have considered 'going stealth'.
I'm a transgender person, who has essentially completed her medical and social transitions. Back in the 'bad old days' on completing transition a trans person was supposed to relocate and set up a new identity, in a new community, and sort of disappear into the woodwork. This was called 'woodworking'.
The modern equivalent would be 'going stealth', just living my life and not disclosing my origins to anyone. To be honest, this has a certain appeal to it.
Living stealth neither says I'm ashamed of being trans nor forsaking my fellow trans folks. There are usually good reasons for going stealth:
1) they may be sick of or exhausted from being treated like a zoo animal in everyday society,
2) They may feel threatened if they were to make their body history public
3) they just know that living stealth makes them the most mentally comfortable.
These are all extremely valid reasons to live stealth.
A stealth person has done nothing wrong by protecting themselves physically and/or emotionally.
NOT going stealth, for the sake of 'helping the cause' or similar arguments sounds an awful lot like a demand for self-sacrifice, the exact same thing that led myself and many others to pretend we were members of the opposite gender, self-sacrifice demanded by our culture to make others less uncomfortable. That doesn't end well.
Going stealth may be the best way to survive the next decade in this culture, as the hatred ramps up, the religious fervor for our destruction continues to grow, and the LGB community continues to turn against us.
It's on my mind.
I do not want to go back to living a lie. There is also a very real risk of becoming integrated into a community, and then having someone discover one's nature and blabbing! Even a routine dental cleaning can out us, as dentition is a strongly assigned-sex-at-birth linked trait.
The topic percolated up largely because the TDoV is approaching, and I am helping to put together the local event. I caught Miss Major's message this year, about our ALLIES being visible, and honestly think that is far more important.
We are a tiny fraction of the population, viewed as disposable, unlikely to be missed and easy to rally people against, by various extremists who need a convenient boogyperson to wave for political and fundraising purposes. That they put our lives in danger by doing this is viewed as a huge plus by them.
We need our allies to be visible, rather than stand by the sidelines and mumble "thoughts and prayers", "so sad", and so on when they see us being harassed, further marginalized, beaten, or murdered.
Without active allies, our population is so tiny that hiding, "going stealth", may be the safest path to take these days.
I am extremely privileged among our trans community to be able to pull off something like this. I know what others have had to resort to in funding their transitions, or even for simple survival.
I haven't decided yet. It is on my mind.
My terminology is likely out of date. I've always gone with 'in the closet' to refer to not transitioning and trying to live publically as our assigned at birth sex, and 'stealth' as trying to live in our gender identity while not being open about being trans.
Recently I have heard 'stealth' as a version of 'in the closet', being aware of ones transgender nature but continuing to present in public as the assigned at birth sex.
Maybe I should just go with 'woodworking', the really old term of transitioning and then vanishing from any visibility, living life in accordance with our gender identity.
I am considering a type of stealth as well. As I mentioned in another thread, it seems life is much simpler if new acquaintances get to know me for who I am now without the knowledge of my past. I won't hide from my background, but I won't advertise it either.
Quote from: Jessica_Rose on March 29, 2019, 01:27:12 PM
I am considering a type of stealth as well. As I mentioned in another thread, it seems life is much simpler if new acquaintances get to know me for who I am now without the knowledge of my past. I won't hide from my background, but I won't advertise it either.
Exactly. With all the new women's groups I'm joining, there's no way I'm going to out myself. If it gets done by someone else, I can't do anything about it, but I can hope that by then I'll have the success Danielle has had. Fingers crossed.
Greetings Michelle,
I am not sure on where I stand on this stealth or woodworking issue. Sure, it would be great to live life with no questions or issues as to my previous gender presentation. Deb and I are currently in Paris and no one has even taken a second glance and I love it. On the other hand, sixty seven years of my life were presenting in that other form and so many parts of it I don't want to hide or make up lies about. Much of it I am proud of and as for making up the lies, I just can't keep them straight that well any more. Plus, there is that altruistic part. There are a lot of guys and gals and inbetweeners out there that we are helping through their struggles. I believe that that option would be either removed or significantly diminished if I moved into the woodworking life style. I don't tell people when I meet them but I don't hide it if asked and I advertise it to those in need. Might change in the future but I don't see that happening any time soon.
If you can make it work for you, go for it and the best of luck to you. You do know that both Deb and I love you girl,
Tia Anne
I have been giving woodworking some thought. In the future, I will need to move to a new town for financial reasons anyway. I plan to complete my physical transitioning in place. It wouldn't make sense to move before the physical changes are finish. For now, I can continue to grow mentally and offer what little if any help to others.
Although most that know me are excepting, there are a few that seem to be a little uncomfortable. If they are uncomfortable, I'm uncomfortable. Of course I would always want keep in tough of those close to me but the uncomfortable ones tend to drift off into the rare acquaintance lands, with little or not contact unless we initiate it.
As you have mentioned Michelle, there are many reasons why going stealth is very appealing. For me, realistically, it's still a couple years off. I do hope that those of us hear at Susan's will continue to keep in tough. I certainly will.
@Anne Blake
Thanks for taking the time to reply while on your amazing vacation trip!
There is an appeal to just being able to live my life, and not have constant reminders that I am 'different' thrown at me by people who know me and know that I am trans. Sometimes this really wears me down. Dealing with 'allies' who think that I owe them personal 1-on-1 training because getting to that class was inconvenient. Being misgendered by people who know I am trans, and are terribly confused about what that means, without malice (but perhaps a bit of early onset dementia). Being 'that one'; "... and this is my trans friend, Michelle..."
The gotcha to attempting woodworking is that I would have to stay quiet during some very unpleasant conversations when someone has swallowed the propaganda, or try to take on the role of ally without outing myself. There is also the risk of being outed, by anything from someone from my older life showing up, an unfortunate Google search, to a talkative dental hygienist!
Another, probably more practical path, would be to just live quietly, disengage from activism, and disassociate myself from groups where I am openly out; the Unitarian Universalists, the Rainbow Community Center, and so on. I could just live quietly, and if pressed, "Yes, I am transgender, and could you pass the pepper, please?"
I have been actively trying to help others for some time. This unfortunately tends to take over my life at times, to the detriment of my personal life. That isn't good.
Ultimately, what I think I need is to disengage from being the anvil others hammer on, and find more ways to prioritize my own life over what others demand of me. I also need to back away from situations that become exercises in futility, trying to get people unwilling to do the work to learn and behave well around marginalized folks.
@Donica
Sometimes it is best to just let go of those who are uncomfortable with us, or who make us uncomfortable. I'm in this situation with a few people, who, frankly, have frightened me with their behavior.
Quote from: Michelle_P on March 29, 2019, 08:06:06 PM
................Ultimately, what I think I need is to disengage from being the anvil others hammer on, and find more ways to prioritize my own life over what others demand of me. I also need to back away from situations that become exercises in futility, trying to get people unwilling to do the work to learn and behave well around marginalized folks.......................
I think this is a great way to get you on the road to where you want to be. I can fully understand what you are saying here and not that I am the biggest "activist" in my community I still attend a number of events for the simple reason to provide help and support for others....kind of pay it forward. I think there comes a time when the desir4e for a little normalisation in our lives is overwhelming.
There is a third option which I go by. I don't talk about my transition in my normal life but I am not worried if somebody asks or finds out. Much easer on the nerves because you assume that everybody knows but it's very rare that anybody ever says anything about it. This also allows me to be somewhat open about myself on Susan's. I don't provide my last name in public to avoid internet searches however if there is a need, I will share it in private with the site members.
In the end, it's what you're comfortable with. Should I meet somebody who is transgender, I don't out them because I don't know their status. If I know they are public about their identity, I am comfortable relating at that level as well.
I've given this a lot of thought, and had a few interesting conversations on various aspects of the act of going fully stealth vs being out and open. I've talked this over with friends, with my chosen family, in a few small groups, and online in a few places, and I have come to some conclusions.
Going stealth has short term advantages, but seriously soul-corroding long term disadvantages.
Being out and open is something that I find healthier for mind and soul, although considerably more dangerous. One huge advantage is that among those who accept me and treat me with dignity and respect, that I know my nature is not an issue with them, and that we can have an honest, healthy relationship.
There will always be those who will be disrespectful, out of their own confusion, ignorance, or anger. I will also know who they are, and will have less concern that someone I considered a friend might turn on me on discovering my past.
There is no reason for me to disclose my past history to every person I meet. I see no problem in strangers, store clerks, wait staff and such committing acts of assumption about my history and treating me like any other (white/cis/female) customer. I am not trying to 'trick' them somehow, or 'trap' them. They look, make their culturally conditioned assumptions based on what they think they see, and act on them.
Yes, I will disclose my history and nature to someone who I feel needs to know, such as a potential sexual partner, with all due care for my safety, of course. This will let me weed out the dangerous ones, the phobic personalities, the people I really do not want close to me.
By being open and out, I think I will be in a better position to preserve my own mental health, and to oppose the prejudice and discrimination that the trans population faces.
With this decision reached, last Saturday night, I knew what I would be doing on Sunday.
Sunday, March 31... Trans Day of Visibility, AND I have Worship Associate duty,putting me on the chancel and doing a bit of speaking to the congregation.
The guest minister was building his service around "The Fountain of Age", by Betty Friedan. Now, she was a woman of the 1950s and 60s, and even though a powerful and original feminist, she was also a person of that era. NOW was still not admitting lesbians. Transgender wasn't even a word. Seeing me in the pulpit talking about her work would likely have given her fits!
Not that this would slow me down...
Quote"Birth and death are the landmarks but it's the field between that's important." OK, where was this advice 50 years ago when I needed it most?
...
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Quote
Oh, the dress!
This is something special just for today. These colors come from a flag designed by Monica Helms, the Transgender Pride flag. I've learned that 70% of folks think they have never met a transgender person. Now, none of you are in that 70%! I wear these colors proudly as a transgender person today!
Read the whole thing over at my blog... (https://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2019/04/call-to-worship-march-31-2019-adventure.html)
After two church services, and some running around and last second planning during Connection Hour after each service, I grabbed a salad for lunch, then headed for Walnut Creek's Civic Park for a little event.
Yes, more speechifying... Loudly out and proud, too!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190401/12bd9b8305e1475171ecb8997f0ccb3d.jpg)
OK, I guess I'm not woodworking today...
The speech was a riff on what I had said at the church, plus some rabble-rousing about the government military service "not a ban, just not allowed" thing, throwing all but a token set of folks under the bus or into the closet, along with some complaints about losing basic rights and freedoms. The usual stuff these days, unfortunately.
I tried to keep the overall message positive, and wrapped up with this:
For my trans siblings, we who transcend gender have looked beneath the surface, and have seen depths that most do not realize even exist. We know these depths within ourselves, these places that most may never encounter. We know the strength, the resilience, and the wisdom we hold deep within us.
Once everyone who wanted a shot at the microphone had said their piece, after we had all acknowledged each other's words, we headed to the sidewalk to show our colors to all the Sunday shoppers passing through Suburbia.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190401/e4bacacb1ba377295fe796be355dbba3.jpg)
People were remarkably nice. Not a rude gesture was seen, and there was much waving and horn-honking. Our signs all held positive messages, and we all had on our big smiles, lots of positive energy all around!
And Monday I had a very quiet day, punctuated only by an hour of electrolysis, my maintenance every 6 weeks or so.
Quote from: Michelle_P on April 01, 2019, 10:39:40 PM
I've given this a lot of thought, and had a few interesting conversations on various aspects of the act of going fully stealth vs being out and open. I've talked this over with friends, with my chosen family, in a few small groups, and online in a few places, and I have come to some conclusions.
Going stealth has short term advantages, but seriously soul-corroding long term disadvantages.
Being out and open is something that I find healthier for mind and soul, although considerably more dangerous. One huge advantage is that among those who accept me and treat me with dignity and respect, that I know my nature is not an issue with them, and that we can have an honest, healthy relationship.
There will always be those who will be disrespectful, out of their own confusion, ignorance, or anger. I will also know who they are, and will have less concern that someone I considered a friend might turn on me on discovering my past.
There is no reason for me to disclose my past history to every person I meet. I see no problem in strangers, store clerks, wait staff and such committing acts of assumption about my history and treating me like any other (white/cis/female) customer. I am not trying to 'trick' them somehow, or 'trap' them. They look, make their culturally conditioned assumptions based on what they think they see, and act on them.
Yes, I will disclose my history and nature to someone who I feel needs to know, such as a potential sexual partner, with all due care for my safety, of course. This will let me weed out the dangerous ones, the phobic personalities, the people I really do not want close to me.
By being open and out, I think I will be in a better position to preserve my own mental health, and to oppose the prejudice and discrimination that the trans population faces.
With this decision reached, last Saturday night, I knew what I would be doing on Sunday.
I do think about this at times.
None of this is meant to be flippant and it is rambling - so my apologies.
[Michelle feel free to remove this from your blog if you so wish.]
One of my most impacting confrontations that I needed to deal with as being TG in public was when I had my laryngectomy. My surgical and my oncology team knew me professionally and of course I was scared. My thought processes were diminished and I had just had 9 weeks of radiochemotherapy. Looking back I doubt that I could have spelt TG. I told them that I was frightened of being 'outed'. They were extremely sympathetic and said that the operation would not be filmed and etc etc. It wasn't until later that how ridiculous my concerns were. I was having my throat removed.
Why would filming my cancerous throat out me?
I sat today in some bushes photographing spiders - as is my want. There were a group of school kids having an excursion and of course they saw me. Giggles and school stuff ensued. The teachers saw me and I waved and walked out. I'm bedecked with a camera that most people can't afford - a badge of acceptance for being unusual. I decide on an education moment. I explain in my mechanical voice that I am taking pictures of insects. The kids are amazed and love looking at the pictures on my camera. The teachers, I think, are thankful that something interesting happened and no children are lost in the process. Little someone's son wants to climb a tree, little someone's daughter asks a question I cannot answer. I pretend to know.
No one mentions that I am TG.
I get home and there is a bill from the security company in my old male name. Do I pay it or ....
I pay it and yet again change my name on their records. Is this my problem? I could write a modification to their work processes that would stop this... but I'm retired. Do I care?
I get a text from one of the women in the the new group I'm working with. We are working to getting people speech and breathing aids to people who are disadvantaged, many can't communicate in any way beyond simplistic sign.
None have signed to ask if I am TG.
Her gorgeous daughter has just started as a tattooist and has come home with a full sleeve tattoo and she can't cope but has bought a bottle of gin and can I....
I go and drink coffee and she drinks gin and we talk about kids and we talk about stuff and we talk about fear and we talk about mutilation and we talk about those people in the paper and we love our kids and we....
No one mentions that I'm TG.
I come home and collapse, I'm not as strong as I pretend and I sleep for awhile. I wake up and read Michelle's post and think, 'Did I live today for me or for others?' 'Why do I bother to keep being alive?' 'Does anything matter?'
It does matter. I live because I decide to live. I will be me because that is my decision. I will defend the weak because that is my right - I hope that I would have had the moral strength to have stood on the rail lines at Auschwitz and not let the trains in. I hope that I would have...
I am a human being and deeply flawed. However I owe no one an excuse for being me.
You owe no one an excuse for being you.
We talk about stealth, of woodwork or any other sort of acronym as a protection against what it is; being yourself.
Humans cannot hide, we are expendable and very biodisposable.
Being yourself is temporary.
I don't know how to finish my ramble and I get a text. I cannot talk on phones.. I live by texts.
'I'm getting my right arm done as a sleeve by my daughter.' "Why" 'Because she is my daughter and I love her.'
What am I trying to say?
We walk our own path and until we realise that then we walk someone else's.
Michelle, walk your path.
With love and apologies
Cindy
Michelle and Cindy thank you both for sharing such intimate thoughts. As a newly minted woman who often thinks about going "stealth" (if that was even possible for me)After reading both your posts find myself vehemently wanting to walk my own path and not jump into yet another box(stealth) as I have tried to get out of boxes my whole life.
Thankyou ladies for the insight
Liz
Cindy and Liz, THANK YOU!
I think I have my path figured out. Amusingly, I have already been 'criticized' elsewhere for 'doing it wrong'. 🤣 I cannot help but laugh at that.
I'm just going to continue to do my own thing. At worst, I'll learn which people in or around are toxic, and which are true friends should they happen to figure out my nature. I'll just be me, and will disclose when and where it seems appropriate, to whom it might be appropriate.
My life, my path.
Hi Michelle,
I totally agree with all that you have said and both value and appreciate the way you (and Cindy) have so well voiced such a current and critical topic. Some years, following Tdor I run in fear of society around me and think of the wrongness of it all. These are similar to some of the reasons for considering Stealth. I am currently reading a great book, one that I highly recommend, "I know why the caged bird sings", by Maya Angelou. Her writings speak of growing up black in the deep south in the thirties and forties. Stealth was not an option, nor were personal rights but choosing to live the life she was dealt with dignity is teaching me wonders.
Please don't take this as any judgement or critique of choices, I just want to recommend a book that might teach us all about how to hold our heads high.
Tia Anne
Quote from: Michelle_P on April 01, 2019, 10:39:40 PM
I've given this a lot of thought, and had a few interesting conversations on various aspects of the act of going fully stealth vs being out and open. I've talked this over with friends, with my chosen family, in a few small groups, and online in a few places, and I have come to some conclusions.
Going stealth has short term advantages, but seriously soul-corroding long term disadvantages.
Being out and open is something that I find healthier for mind and soul, although considerably more dangerous. One huge advantage is that among those who accept me and treat me with dignity and respect, that I know my nature is not an issue with them, and that we can have an honest, healthy relationship.
There will always be those who will be disrespectful, out of their own confusion, ignorance, or anger. I will also know who they are, and will have less concern that someone I considered a friend might turn on me on discovering my past.
There is no reason for me to disclose my past history to every person I meet. I see no problem in strangers, store clerks, wait staff and such committing acts of assumption about my history and treating me like any other (white/cis/female) customer. I am not trying to 'trick' them somehow, or 'trap' them. They look, make their culturally conditioned assumptions based on what they think they see, and act on them.
Yes, I will disclose my history and nature to someone who I feel needs to know, such as a potential sexual partner, with all due care for my safety, of course. This will let me weed out the dangerous ones, the phobic personalities, the people I really do not want close to me.
By being open and out, I think I will be in a better position to preserve my own mental health, and to oppose the prejudice and discrimination that the trans population faces.
With this decision reached, last Saturday night, I knew what I would be doing on Sunday.
I believe Alaskan Danielle put it in a similar way when she came out to the folks in her small town. What both of you have said makes a lot of sense. After all, we have been hiding all of our lives, then we come out of the closet for a few years to transition and feel completely liberated and finely free, and then we go back into hiding?
I feel that closet closing in on me again by going stealth. I think I would feel better with a half stealth life style as you mentioned Michelle. Only disclosing the subject of being trans when asked and only to those I feel could intelligently understand.
But on the other hand, there is the fear of a tRump type falsely religious person in government declaring a bounty on trans people. We've all seen the ignorance and crowd mentality that would love to jump on that bandwagon. It could be the Holocaust all over again, just because of a few angrey words.
But all that is just that FEAR word again. As openly trans people, we are conquering that fear by simply being visible and proud. The liberation is almost overwhelming and certainly very gratifying.
I learn so much on Susan's and this thread is one of those thought provoking threads where I learn so much, Cindy as always and Michelle too.
Somewhere along the way I stopped caring about what others think about me as far as being me. I think I do not pass. Others have express I do. At some point I just stopped caring most of the time. It has been my experience that people do not care. I do not hide who I am nor do I advertise I am transsexual.
When I go into the female locker room at the gym I look at the faces of the other woman to see any looks of surprise. Same when I go into the female steam room. There is never a look. I stopped caring at work and on the street a while ago. I would not give going into a female bathroom or clothing fitting room a second thought. I remember when I was so scared and now it is just normal.
If asked I would not deny my past. If I ever get serious with a guy I will disclose. Other than that it is not an issue.
Saturday I led a hike for three people, from the San Francisco Ferry Building along the waterfront, across the Golden Gate Bridge, and ending at the Sausalito ferry terminal. This was some 27,000 steps or 10.5 miles. Stops for a brunch at the Buena Vista and a few other things were included.
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The forecast high is 75 degrees F here, so I broke out the spring wear.
I had a good morning experience at the church, great sermon on love across differences, and some good conversations on random life. I also got some planning done, and refined details on some activity planned for our family homeless shelter, where I'm cooking one weekend.
Walking thru downtown I've had guys checking me out, had a very positive complement from a woman setting tables in an open cafè, and a fun interaction with a mom, dog, and 6 month old child.
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Today, life is good
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Quote from: Michelle_P on April 07, 2019, 06:57:07 PM
Saturday I led a hike for three people, from the San Francisco Ferry Building along the waterfront, across the Golden Gate Bridge, and ending at the Sausalito ferry terminal. This was some 27,000 steps or 10.5 miles. Stops for a brunch at the Buena Vista and a few other things were included.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190407/b2724377611d38c4e67f49630b426bd8.jpg)
The forecast high is 75 degrees F here, so I broke out the spring wear.
I had a good morning experience at the church, great sermon on love across differences, and some good conversations on random life. I also got some planning done, and refined details on some activity planned for our family homeless shelter, where I'm cooking one weekend.
Walking thru downtown I've had guys checking me out, had a very positive complement from a woman setting tables in an open cafè, and a fun interaction with a mom, dog, and 6 month old child.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190407/856a57b77cfa9deddd821a398a1af2ff.jpg)
Today, life is good
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I'm happy you've had such a great weekend
Life is good Michelle. Spring is here. Love your dress.
Michelle, it has been over fifty years since I last walked across the golden gate bridge and it wasn't 75 degrees. It hasn't gotten that warm in either Paris or Marbella on this trip.
You are looking great and it sounds like you are living great as well! Way to go girlfriend.
Tia Anne
Quote from: Jessica on April 07, 2019, 08:21:51 PM
I'm happy you've had such a great weekend
Thank you, Jessica. I think I have been doing pretty well lately. Normal ups and downs, the old self-questioning, anxiety, and depression gone now.
Quote from: Donica on April 08, 2019, 08:53:06 AM
Life is good Michelle. Spring is here. Love your dress.
Indeed! And thank you! Another thrift store find. Yes, we have some really good thrifts here!
Quote from: Anne Blake on April 09, 2019, 02:18:39 PM
Michelle, it has been over fifty years since I last walked across the golden gate bridge and it wasn't 75 degrees. It hasn't gotten that warm in either Paris or Marbella on this trip.
You are looking great and it sounds like you are living great as well! Way to go girlfriend.
Tia Anne
Thank you! Crossing the bridge it was perhaps 60 at best, with intermittent sprinkles of rain. I was a bit more warmly dressed for the 10 mile walk!
Thank you! Life is good, and I am savoring it. I spent a long dark time, decades essentially living while waiting to die. Rather than rust out, the plan these days is to wear out, and I hope that takes a good long time.
Quick note: Last night I was elected to the Board of Directors of the Contra Costa Rainbow Community Center, the LGBTQ+ center serving the county. There's quite the organizational kerfluffle there now, which I hope to make better.
Quote from: Michelle_P on April 18, 2019, 03:01:52 AM
Quick note: Last night I was elected to the Board of Directors of the Contra Costa Rainbow Community Center, the LGBTQ+ center serving the county. There's quite the organizational kerfluffle there now, which I hope to make better.
Congratulations and I wish you great success. Wonderful to hear.
Congratulations Michelle! All the Best as you take on the challenges that lay ahead!
Hi Michelle, just chiming into your thread for the first time :) Wanted to say congratulations to you for helping your community, how awesome...
Have a wonderful day !
Cynthia -
Congratulations Michelle! I'm sure you can make the Contra Costa Rainbow Community Center even better than it already is.
Hugs!
Congratulations, Michelle. Hope you have a wonderful day!!!
Greetings sister, I too wish to add my congratulations to gaining a position that allows you to shape and influence our world. You are indeed one that has so much to contribute! But, I also want to add a serious word of caution. You have a tendency to keep your plate overly full and your calendar too busy. Keep in mind that as Michelle, you are quite young and you need to keep priority and space for Michelle to blossom, that is so difficult to do from a position of burn out. This is spoken out of love and concern.
Love you girl,
Tia Anne
Quote from: Anne Blake on April 19, 2019, 05:39:18 AM
Greetings sister, I too wish to add my congratulations to gaining a position that allows you to shape and influence our world. You are indeed one that has so much to contribute! But, I also want to add a serious word of caution. You have a tendency to keep your plate overly full and your calendar too busy. Keep in mind that as Michelle, you are quite young and you need to keep priority and space for Michelle to blossom, that is so difficult to do from a position of burn out. This is spoken out of love and concern.
Love you girl,
Tia Anne
Thank you, Tia Anne! Wise advice as always!
You know my habit of tracking my schedules in my phone calendar, right? I have started blocking out days and weeks of "Me Time" that I don't allow other activities to intrude on. Some of that is 'travel time' for my visits with Laurie, some is for being a tourist, and some is for just hanging out, doing my museum days, or baking and such.
I do not intend to burn out! While I've gotten some pushback from others, so far I have been successful at keeping to my 'Me Time'.
Quote from: Susan_Rose on April 18, 2019, 07:51:29 PM
Congratulations, Michelle. Hope you have a wonderful day!!!
Thank you, Susan! I need to do another road trip with stops in Colorado to see all my friends there. I certainly hope all is going well and Jessica Rose is healing nicely.
Quote from: Donica on April 18, 2019, 02:31:53 PM
Congratulations Michelle! I'm sure you can make the Contra Costa Rainbow Community Center even better than it already is.
Thank you, Danica! There are lots of good people at RCC, caring staff, and some clients are friends. I'm hoping the place will be around for a long, long time. It's needed more than ever.
Quote from: CynthiaAnn on April 18, 2019, 01:04:28 PM
Hi Michelle, just chiming into your thread for the first time :) Wanted to say congratulations to you for helping your community, how awesome...
Cynthia, I've gotten a lot of help from the local community, and see this as a chance to give back. Thank you!
Quote from: islandgirl on April 18, 2019, 10:26:33 AM
Congratulations Michelle! All the Best as you take on the challenges that lay ahead!
Thanks! This is going to be an interesting ride, that's for sure!
Quote from: Cindy on April 18, 2019, 03:04:37 AM
Congratulations and I wish you great success. Wonderful to hear.
Thank you, Cindy! There I go again, poking my nose into stuff. This is going to be an interesting ride.
@Michelle_P Quote from: Michelle_P on April 18, 2019, 03:01:52 AM
Quick note: Last night I was elected to the Board of Directors of the Contra Costa Rainbow Community Center, the LGBTQ+ center serving the county. There's quite the organizational kerfluffle there now, which I hope to make better.
I'm happy to read this. I'm certain you will bring order. After all you've captured the Wild Laurie, but that did require help from some Honey Badgers.
Hugs and smiles from another California girl
Jessica, thank you for bringing that up, what has become of the honey badgers? We need further tales of their exploits!
Quote from: Anne Blake on April 19, 2019, 01:45:40 PM
Jessica, thank you for bringing that up, what has become of the honey badgers? We need further tales of their exploits!
They're still here!
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Quote from: Michelle_P on April 19, 2019, 03:04:49 PM
They're still here!
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Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Awww! There they are!
Back from our trip through southeast Alaska. No, we didn't get within a thousand miles of Alaskan Danielle.
I had my first helicopter ride, and Laurie and I had our first walk on a glacier. We rode a train from Skagway to White Pass and back, and wandered through Victoria after dark. Fun and overall a good experience.
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Someone fed Laurie escargot!
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Victoria at night. I would have loved having more time to spend there.
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We had lunch in Seattle after disembarking, dining with friends at a hot pot place!
Wonderful! Glad you two each had a new experience, one more off the bucket list!
Hope to see you soon, at least in Astoria 🌸🌸🌸
Hugs, Lady Jessica
Waiter! There are SNAILS on her plate!
Stephanie
Such a great trip! I'm glad they gave you crampons for the glacier...looks like a bad place to slip. Sorry the food was so bad lol.
Love Randy
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Quote from: steph2.0 on May 19, 2019, 08:24:16 PM
Waiter! There are SNAILS on her plate!
Stephanie
And I ate all 7 of the little slimy suckers. Actually they did not taste bad at all, tender and not chewy like I thought they would be. I also had baked Alaska for the first time and several other food firsts before we got home.
Nice to see you made it back in one piece and had a wonderful time. You both looked like you were having a great time and really enjoying yourselves. You might have to step the walks up up after lazing around for a week [emoji23]
Liz
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Lovely pictures Michelle! Awesome vacation! Uh... Euwww on the escargot! Laurie has much more exotic tastes than me. Okay so I'm a picky eater.
Welcome home ladies! Hugs!
Looks like you two had a fun time on your vacation! I miss Victoria.
Quote from: KathyLauren on May 20, 2019, 10:14:19 AM
Looks like you two had a fun time on your vacation! I miss Victoria.
Oh please! You're not that old. She died in 1901.
- Stephanie
To bad I didn't know that you had a stop in Victoria! I would have loved to have met you both! I walk by the pier all the time!
Victoria Canada has a marathon every October.
The thrill of Victoria. The agony of the feet.
Never mind, gotta run.
Quote from: Kendra on May 20, 2019, 08:11:55 PM
Victoria Canada has a marathon every October.
The thrill of Victoria. The agony of the feet.
Never mind, gotta run.
GROAN!
Nice to see Laurie "enjoying" herself!! Looks like you had a wonderful time .
Quote from: Kendra on May 20, 2019, 08:11:55 PM
Victoria Canada has a marathon every October.
The thrill of Victoria. The agony of the feet.
Never mind, gotta run.
Yes it does and it is great! Have my best marathon time here!