A bunch of ostriches was startled by some strange noises that were coming from a nearby woods. "Quick, hide!" shouted one of them. So they all instinctively buried their heads in the sand.

     After a few seconds, another ostrich came stumbling out of the woods, looked around, and said, "Hey, where is everybody?"

Give it a moment...

2 rhinos were in math class, and one whispered to the other, "I don't get this; can you give me some pointers?" 

During WW2 the British develop a deadly joke that could kill at 50 yards,
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

The Germans attempt a counter-joke

My dog's has no nose.
How does it smell?
Awful.

Quote from: Jenny07 on December 04, 2012, 02:47:20 AM
During WW2 the British develop a deadly joke that could kill at 50 yards,
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

The Germans attempt a counter-joke

My dog's has no nose.
How does it smell?
Awful.

Extra brownie points for a Monty Python reference! They are the experts at making bad jokes funny.

I know, it's just awful! Don't hate me!

Quote from: dalebert on December 05, 2012, 02:54:05 PM
I know, it's just awful! Don't hate me!

Too soon?

What is on a dog's house?  A roof.

What do you call it when someone floods your e-mail with Shakespeare? Spamlet! 

Quote from: dalebert on December 05, 2012, 02:54:33 PM
Too soon?

I found it to be hilarious!

What do you find on a dogwood tree?  Bark.

No one in my class wants to buy the senior t-shirt, so my English teacher told us that we needed to find our school spirit, after which the following exchange occurred.

Me- "I'll call Scooby."
(Class laughs)
Teacher- "My 5-year-old niece makes better jokes."
(Class goes "oooooh")
Me- "Excuse me for providing a witty, snappy retort in an English class."
Teacher- "That wasn't exactly a witty, snappy retort."
Me- "Um, I'm pretty sure that describing something as a 'witty, snappy retort' automatically qualifies it as a witty, snappy retort."
(Class laughs)

For the STP folks.

Quote from: dalebert on December 06, 2012, 10:53:23 AM
For the STP folks.

For men EVERYWHERE.

;-)

(The irony is that if you're reading the sign, you're not aiming...)

Quote from: Beth Andrea on December 06, 2012, 11:02:58 AM
(The irony is that if you're reading the sign, you're not aiming...)

LOLed!

How much does a hipster weigh?

An Instagram.

Prolly doesn't qualify as a joke technically, since this was a 4 rlz ad.