I've noticed that I feel much better about myself during those rare times when I have a girlfriend.  My gender issues are still there, but I think I create some kind of "living vicariously through somebody" situation that makes everything seem more manageable.  I have less anxiety just by being around her, but finding satisfaction from anything more intimate than a kiss usually involves me picturing myself and trying to imagine I'm feeling what she's feeling.  Has anybody else caught themselves doing this?