Time to get out. Alpaca suitcase. -George Takei

A frog won a talent show and got the blue ribbit. 

Not a good way to get ahead in the biz... -George Takei

So, by bad I usually think slight racist humor...I'm not racist, but sometimes it's funny.

So an Asian kid fails his math class...

So a black guy is on his way to his office...

So a redneck is on his way to the dentist...

Like I said, "bad" jokes =P

Did you hear they've bred a fish with Swiss cheese?






HOLY MACKEREL!!!

Did you hear about the train enthusiast who was run over by his favourite train?
He was chuffed to bits.

Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases?
They're making headlines!

THE BEST INTERNET POST EVER!



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I just wrote the best internet post ever!!!

I am blessed with a super-affecionate, super-sweet kitty and she had just exposed her tummy to me for a tummy rub so this made me laugh and was just really delightful.

Quote from: dalebert on December 09, 2012, 12:59:29 PM
I am blessed with a super-affecionate, super-sweet kitty and she had just exposed her tummy to me for a tummy rub so this made me laugh and was just really delightful.

Aww, that's cute!

Quote from: dalebert on December 09, 2012, 03:26:06 PM

Those two have a 9 month long sense of humor...

My dad told me a good one. If you're easily offended, don't read.

My dad and I bought bread at a Columbian bakery. I said that it was so delicious that I would be buying it for the rest of my life. He said, "Maybe that's because they put cocaine in it." 

Quote from: DianaP on December 09, 2012, 09:24:40 PM
My dad and I bought bread at a Columbian bakery. I said that it was so delicious that I would be buying it for the rest of my life. He said, "Maybe that's because they put cocaine in it." 

That explains the coffee.

Two blondes were in a car on their way to Disneyland. They saw a sign that said, "Disneyland: Left," and they turned around and went home.




Three guys were talking about their love lives. One guy said, "I rubbed my wife with coconut oil and made her scream for an hour."

The second guy said, "I rubbed my wife with perfume and made her scream for two hours."

The third said, "I rubbed my wife with lard and made her scream for 6 hours."

The other two men asked, "How is that possible?!"

The third guy said, "I rubbed my hands off on the curtains." 

Not exactly a joke so much as a witty observation:

I never understood why people say that they slept like a baby when they want to say that they slept well. Last I checked, sleeping like a baby means that you wake up at 3 AM, screaming with urine and feces in your pants. 

Quote from: DianaP on December 10, 2012, 03:46:51 PM
Not exactly a joke so much as a witty observation:

I never understood why people say that they slept like a baby when they want to say that they slept well. Last I checked, sleeping like a baby means that you wake up at 3 AM, screaming with urine and feces in your pants. 

I've parented two children, and I can assure you that's true -- not a joke.