Quote from: dalebert on January 17, 2013, 03:58:30 PM
Another borderline unacceptable joke by George Takei.

I don't care what anyone says. To me, Lance Armstrong has always been, is, and always will be an awesome inspiration.

In short, screw you, George Takei.

If they remake this film without Sam Jackson it will seriously be a missed opportunity

Quote from: DianaP on January 21, 2013, 03:41:59 PM
I don't care what anyone says. To me, Lance Armstrong has always been, is, and always will be an awesome inspiration.

In short, screw you, George Takei.

Absolutely. *Everyone* who is a world-class athlete has "doped up" at one point or another.

He just pissed off one of the insurance companies, that's why he was nailed incessantly for 10 years...and if he keeps blabbing, I wouldn't be surprised if he has an "accident" or is "found to have committed sui*ide"...

I sent a heart felt letter to George Takei, he never replied.

Okay friends 

Let's get back on topic

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

None! They get their purrrson to do it.

Tricky one this.

What do you call a person who changes an iguana's light globe?

A man walks it a saddle shop and asks about how to ride a five legged horse 

I was going to tell a joke about conservation, but it expired.

Why does the pope dislike looking at himself, naked, in the mirror?

Doesn't like looking down on the unemployed.







(OK. Now may I be excommunicated?)

I was in my local deli today buying some bacon for the BBQ. They had a promotion on where if you signed up to the bacon manufactures website, you could win a years worth of bacon.

Rushing home with bacon in hand and phone number at the ready to call them, when I rang them up, all I got was crackling

Quote from: Cindy James on January 21, 2013, 10:33:33 PM
Tricky one this.

What do you call a person who changes an iguana's light globe?

Ok, I'll bite...what DO you call a person who changes an iguana's light globe?

The Pastor's Ass

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.  The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that he entered it in the race again and it won again.  The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.  The next day the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.  The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.  The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.  He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.  The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

Have a nice day!

The above post sounds just like a whole load of ass-ernine propaganda. 

A biology teacher was explaining the human reproductive systems to a class.

One student said, "I don't get it. What's the deferens?"

Badum tsh! 

Quote from: DianaP on January 26, 2013, 09:38:22 AM
One student said, "I don't get it. What's the deferens?"

There's a vas deferens between a man and a woman.

Quote from: justmeinoz on January 26, 2013, 04:49:33 AM
The Pastor's Ass

I've been watching The Tudors so I'm loving church jokes today.

Quote from: dalebert on January 26, 2013, 10:02:37 AM

I knew there was a reason I love Pi...