It is true that young people have to live thier own life.
But there is also the truth about young transitioners. Many turn to prostitution, many run away, many die young.
Yes young people can make thier own decisions and thier own mistakes. But as a community it is a damn good idea that those of us who are older offer advice and support. I know pretty well how the rest of the LGBT community works, the support systems in place, the ideas that are spread. You know how that community grew up, and gained more influence: they went to college. The college education rates amoung gays are significantly higher then the rest of the population.
Its tough being trans, there is no question about it. But we need to reinforce some ideas in the community so kids stop falling through the cracks when they have to leave. I have seen the safety net of the lesbian and gay communities. How there is an informal network of halfway houses accross the country for kids to escape too. We are just begining to form these networks. But above all else we need to enforce the message that the gay community has done a wonderful job in communicating: being queer is much easier with a college education.
This is even more true for those of us who are trans.
This is not a been there done that mentality. This is a mentality of we need to stop the cycle of poverty and degradation that happens to young transitioners, and here is a way to do it.
We need to create support systems, but also a clear dialog and message, that there is a better way, that transitioning young does not have to mean a life of degradation, poverty and prostitution. That education is worth it, and maybe your best option to transition.
Going to college if you get kicked out is not motherly advice, it is common sense that the rest of the queer community caught onto years ago. It is about time we spell out this advice to young transitioners: the best place to transition is not on the streets, but on a college campus.
I think going to college is really a HAVE TO as it stands for younger transitioners until American society grows up. As sad as this sounds, there really is no other option. Because the other options are so bad, they often result in a life of disease, degradation, poverty, and prostitution. I think all images of trans people we would like to shed as a community. I would like the image of a young transitioner to be somebody who gets through college and gets to live a full life as thier target gender.
The truth is the burden is on US as well. It is time we start putting forth the support systems, be it financially through funding scholarships, or through other methods. As it stands this may be the biggest failure of deep stealth. Once somebody who is in a position of financial advantage transitions, they fail to support the community in any other way. The truth is this is a community that is in DESPERATE need of the comprehensive support system the gay and lesbian community has created for itself. This is where I am going to say that there is a failure of responsibility. All the trans community often has is each other, every one of us has a responsibility to help in the ways we can. But the truth is that rarely happens. If you are deep stealth, and can afford to give to a trans shelter or scholarship...let that be the way you help. I could go on, but there is a failure of community with transsexuals. We need to offer a better support system and safety net. And once we transition, we still need to contribute, in fact I think those that can and have transition successfully have a responsibility to contribute in some way to the community (either through volunteering time, services or money). It does not have to be at the sacrafice of abandoning stealth, but it still needs to happen. We need to stop young transitioners from turning to the streets.
I could go on, but the truth is, as it stands. We do have a responsibility to offer advice to Jackie, so she does not fall into the common traps of a young transitioner. We have a responsibility to help. Advice is all we have. The best advice is for her to go to college. Because the truth is, at this moment in time, we may be the closest thing to family she has and that is the best advice we can offer.
