Emma,

I can tell you that once you told the people in your life already there isn't much more to lose. The cat is already out of the bag. Nothing left to lose people know. That's how I took it so why not go full steam? As a few posters have said take it at your own speed and how you feel comfortably. The feelings NEVER go away though as much as we try to convince ourselves. We suppress them for weeks and months but they come back. Over and over. The longer we wait the more barriers we have to knock down. Having children, marriages, etc. All the things in life that happen threw the years. You are fortunate you are so young that if you continue transition you will most likely see excellent results. You just have to overcome some fear and let yourself go. I know the feeling your having right now.


I too was a "straight" male prior to transition and was a manly man. Portrayed the guys guy perfect. I had sexual affairs with women too and performed (imagined I was on the other side). Don't hate my penis (but I'm still removing). Life was good prior to transition I was not a emotional wreck.

Thanks everyone, it's so hard when one moment you feel so happy about transitioning and then the next you feel like you might have made a huge mistake, it's extremely frustrating. It's nice to hear of other people who felt exactly how I am before and it makes me feel a little bit better about everything. I didn't make this decision without thinking it through, so now my mind is just getting because it's becoming so real now. Thank you again everyone, I definitely feel like transitioning is what I still need to do, but it's not easy to just not give up.

I'm feeling 100 times better at this point, I don't know why I had these feelings but they seem to have gone away, I feel good again about transitioning and happy to continue. I think taking new pictures made me realize how much happier I was, looking in the mirror I actually smiled, I never smile when looking the mirror. Thanks everyone for the support, you have no idea how much it really means to me honestly, thank you! <3

Quote from: EmmaS on February 10, 2013, 05:17:08 AM
I'm feeling 100 times better at this point, I don't know why I had these feelings but they seem to have gone away, I feel good again about transitioning and happy to continue. I think taking new pictures made me realize how much happier I was, looking in the mirror I actually smiled, I never smile when looking the mirror. Thanks everyone for the support, you have no idea how much it really means to me honestly, thank you! <3

I'm glad your feeling better. These feelings do come and go. I think its natural to have doubts about this. I think if you didn't have doubts that would be cause for concern. Some days I think being on estrogen only increases these feelings. But I do know what you mean about smiling more. Most days all I do is smile.