A friend in Germany made an interesting observation on this topic. She was talking about MtFs, but I think it can be applied the other way too.

She said, "I have learned that there are two kinds of transgender people: those who want to be a woman, and those who just are one."

Quote from: Lisbeth on March 23, 2013, 08:35:10 PM
A friend in Germany made an interesting observation on this topic. She was talking about MtFs, but I think it can be applied the other way too.

She said, "I have learned that there are two kinds of transgender people: those who want to be a woman, and those who just are one."

You mean transsexual right? O.o

Quote from: Sky-Blue on March 23, 2013, 08:36:34 PM
You mean transsexual right? O.o

Why does someone always have to turn it in to a label fight?

Quote from: Kelly the Trans-Rebel on March 23, 2013, 08:43:39 PM
Why does someone always have to turn it in to a label fight?

Lol that was totally not my intent. It just doesn't make sense to use the word "transgender" since it's a broad term, vs "Transsexual" as a narrow term.

It may seem like I'm splitting hairs, but I'm pretty sure ftm transsexuals don't want to be women, nor are they actually women.

Quote from: Sky-Blue on March 23, 2013, 08:49:54 PM


It may seem like I'm splitting hairs, but I'm pretty sure ftm transsexuals don't want to be women, nor are they actually women.

Quote from: Lisbeth on March 23, 2013, 08:35:10 PM
She was talking about MtFs, but I think it can be applied the other way too.

She was saying that it can go both ways. Meaning ftm are a man or want to be a man. She wasn't saying they were women.

Quote from: Heather on March 23, 2013, 09:08:39 PM
She was saying that it can go both ways. Meaning ftm are a man or want to be a man. She wasn't saying they were women.

I'll just crawl into a corner with my foot in my mouth now...

Quote from: Sky-Blue on March 23, 2013, 09:11:57 PM
I'll just crawl into a corner with my foot in my mouth now...

You don't have to do that! Mistakes happen I actually felt like I was being a miss know it all in pointing it out. I did not mean to come off as rude if I did.

Quote from: Heather on March 23, 2013, 09:18:30 PM
You don't have to do that! Mistakes happen I actually felt like I was being a miss know it all in pointing it out. I did not mean to come off as rude if I did.

It's all good.

Quote from: ddone on March 23, 2013, 12:26:18 AM
My answer is that I can gain female privileges by changing my sex. For example, man will buy a free beer or coffee for me since I am a woman.  What's ur answer?

My answer is that I want others to see the real me instead of just seeing an effeminate guy and assuming certain things...as well as the fact that I want to be comfortable in my own body.

Perhaps you should rethink your reasons for transitioning? You might want to create a list of pros and cons based upon what you think and what others have said about the pros and cons of transitioning here at susans.

No one can tell you what you should do, it's all about what makes you happy and how you feel inside.

I can't answer why I would want to be a woman because in my mind I have been for as long as I can remember. People have pointed it out to me that I am not normal. I've had many friends ask me if I was gay or did I grow up around a lot of girls because of subconscious actions I do or how I do things. It's even come down to how I talk. I tell them no and they don't believe that I'm not gay or just in the closet, refusing to come out. It hurts like no tomorrow when I know I am something on the inside, but they question me like changing my body is something wrong.

When my therapist asked me why I wanted to by a woman. I asked her why she wanted to be one. I looked at her and when she didn't answer and shook her head and said she understood, that was the end of that. I didn't have to say one word to her. Since she's a woman and I am on the inside, her intuition picked up my answer.

I think my answer would be, "See ya!"  I don't like the use of the word "want" in the question and just now naïve it sounds.

I had a enough psychologists that didn't collaborate with me or were themselves completely uninitiated on trans issues and didn't seem to do any research to get up to speed outside our time together.  Now I don't mind helping educate, I rather like it.  But in therapy? No, I go there to get help I need.

But maybe I'm being overly critical. 

No I don't think you are being over critical at all.

An MD can prove their worth by saving a life.

A shrink is really just a person with some training in how to be clever as far as I am concerned. Just because they get paid to listen, doesn't mean they have any special skills. We treat the field of psychiatry altogether too generously. It's not a science regardless of what they like to think.

In my life, I have met several shrinks that wore the label doctor. Half of them haven't been bright enough to wash cars decently.

After over five decades of trying the only other viable alternative I can easily say why I don't want to continue on living a lifeless, souless existence where I needed to pretty much shut down about ever emotion and feeling decade by decade in order to avoid "Wanting" to be a woman.

After having experienced first hand the joy of living as one, albeit part time, for the first time in my life feeling good about being me, finally feeling!; those are the reasons why I want to live as a woman.

As others have said, I've felt since like 4 y/o I was a woman. There wasn't an option over that. Believe me! I spent most of my time on planet Earth running away as best I could from that feeling.

My wife, a 25+ year post-op MTF, puts it best. "Who in their right mind wants to be a woman?" Which is then followed by the long list of reasons of how women are in secondary position in society. BTW - this includes what you have to go through and give up to get that "Free" meal or beer.

That must be the easyest question to answer.

I have always been a women, just needed to let her out!

I don't. It's just the inevitable consequence of fixing my body.

Simply because on the inside I'm primarily a woman, my current body doesn't fit me correctly

QuoteMy answer is that I can gain female privileges by changing my sex. For example, man will buy a free beer or coffee for me since I am a woman.  What's ur answer?

That was your answer??  Seems a little shallow to me.  I'm curious as to the response the therapist had to your answer if any. 

That question has not been posed to me yet and I'm not sure how I would have answered but if it is ever asked of me in the future I'm going to steal Melly's answer (if you don't mind)

QuoteI asked her why she wanted to be one.

Perfect response!

The more I ponder this thread the more it merely illustrates the inherent problem people that are not us, have in being able to understand us.

Asking me, why do I want to be a woman, is as pointless as asking me why I want to be Canadian.

My as well ask if I like being Caucasian as well. I also don't mind being a Terran.

But the questions that have me the most at odds are 'so how long have you known [insert some specific detail here] ....'

I was born in Lachine, but hey that was where mom had me and nothing else. I have never been back to my knowledge, so ah I have NO memories of it. I lived in a small town in Quebec for 5 years. I have precisely 3 mental images, and nothing else. A scene of my sister in a snow suit and stuck in some mud of a new house site. My brother playing in a small boat that was sinking at the riverside end of the street, and this massive field and a factory on the far side at the end of the street and a train track on the far edge. Turns out the factory was my small mind's way of understanding my older brother's grade school. That's it, 3 images in my first 5 years.
I have almost nothing from my grade school years in the equally small town I am still in since 1967. So that is my preteen years and really next to nothing. I recall playing in the dirt with Tonka trucks and Matchbox cars with a childhood buddy who I broke up with at least once a week I remember playing in nearby streams. And I climbed all the trees.

Most of my years from teens are best summed up as in a book, be it library, local stores, my room.

Hell I have lived enough years that a lot of the first half have largely ended up as badly faded and grainy at best

It takes some serious effort just to remember the 90s and I usually get it wrong.
How long have I known ..... heck I have trouble with last week most months

I want to 'look' how I feel for the same reason I want to be in a 20 x 20 room listening to music too loud while breathing in the smell of lumber and making some article of woodworking. It's because that is what would make my soul sing.

Yeah my instant reaction would be that this person doesn't understand us,  but it could be differentiate between people who have bad reasons to transition  and those who say 'der,  I am a woman already!'.  Maybe... 

Steph :-)
X

Quote from: ddone on March 23, 2013, 12:26:18 AM
My answer is that I can gain female privileges by changing my sex. For example, man will buy a free beer or coffee for me since I am a woman.  What's ur answer?

Because hormones, clothes, makeup, body fragrances, hair supplies, difficulty finding a job or being taken seriously for a promotion totally don't amount to an occasional free drink or dinner. Great logic.

My answer? IDK. I've gained freedom of expression without being looked at like I'm foolish.

Oh and so I can feel all vulnerable to attack every time I step in public because every guy in the world is stronger than me... with my wimpy chick self