I never dilated before intercourse, but used to use lube with some guys, sometimes its mostly down to the guy, my husband is very good at foreplay, he is usually very gentle and patience with me, when Im totally relaxed he'll moisten me up, then he'll only penetrate me when Im ready, its all about a guy knowing how to treat a woman, it will hurt if Im not in the mood, a guy has to be gentle with me, ''no slam bam, thank you Mam'' for me.
No dilating or lube needed, just a gentleman who knows how to treat a girl.
Pauline