The day after a girl at work told me my nail polish was really nice and where did I get them done, (I get them done and wear acrylics). I sort of looked at her and just blurted out, you know I'm trans? She said no but didn't seem surprised, so then and there I got eveyone together and told them. It seemed pretty silly going in as a guy after that .

I've been FT for close to a year, my voice doesn't pass, I haven't been 'called out' by anyone anywhere.

I drive a flashy sports car with the number plate 'CINDYS1'. Stealth was never even a faint option so I don't hide at all ,

I'm not terribly stealth either tbh. I wouldn't want to be clocked... but whispering about hormones like I'm in the closet again and my mom is in the other room isn't something I care to do either.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on April 07, 2013, 03:42:25 AM
I'm not terribly stealth either tbh. I wouldn't want to be clocked... but whispering about hormones like I'm in the closet again and my mom is in the other room isn't something I care to do either.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude in anyway

No I don't take any hint of being clocked, if someone gets a pronoun wrong, if someone tries to be funny, if someone tries to be rude I will hang them out to dry, and I am very capable of doing that in public or in private.

I owe that to my sisters and brothers who may not have my confidence and ego. I will not abide people being discriminated against for any reason. I am capable of and driven to set an example. Australia has very good anti-discrimination law and I make damn sure that anyone breaking them knows all about them.

Hugs Sis

C

Quote from: Misato33 on April 06, 2013, 07:54:46 PM
And, when it comes down to it, I'd rather be clockable yet hear my name and my appropriate pronouns from those goodly enough to use them on me. 

^^^
This!

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on April 06, 2013, 11:48:05 AM
When people started having trouble seeing me as a boy even when I was presenting as a boy, that's when I knew full time was then. Looking back though, I was still a bit in between for a few months after I went full time... at least compared to where I'm at now. But I was ready because I just got fired from work, I had a couple new friends that met me as Alaina, and I just started my laser... so it was the perfect time to change my name legally and just go full blast.

Sounds counter intuitive to be unemployed and transition at the same time because of money issues... but I was (and still am) getting unemployment, and was getting student loans to pay for some things, along with some help from my mom and friends like clothes and things like that. For me it was just so many signs saying "Do it now!"

For me it was when my internal disharmony and emotional turmoil over my diphoria became too unbearable to handle anymore.

Alaina, just from looking at your picture, if we happen to meet on the street, I would assume that you were  another woman and a beautiful woman at that. I can see why you were having trouble in boy mode, I too had the same problem but mine stretches clear back to when I was a baby. Even during my school years, I was teased about really being a girl and not a boy. As I got older, nearly everyone thought I really was a girl who wore boy's clothes, especially in my twenties and early thirties, no matter what I was wearing or how I looked I was always ma'amed.

My natural voice is actually in the higher portion of the crossover section of the female and male voice ranges, which was kind of hard in middle school when I tried to join the choir. Because of my voice, every so often, about 0.01% of the time, I get sir'd on the phone & the other 99.99% it is always ma'am.

I too was in between jobs, when I transitioned, in fact I was struggling to grow a self-employment business of mine. At one point, I interviewed for a position in male mode, I told the person about myself asking to be called by my female name and she had no problem with it. I told her that I would be back to see her dressed up so that she could see for herself and she said that that would be a good idea. So a couple of days later, I returned and when she saw me, she was real excited and happy for me, giving me all kinds of compliments, So when I reported to work later on that week, I went as my true-self, without any problems. No one else new but her and her staff at the temp agency know, and at work I was treat like & seen as just another female employee.

Girl Power, I was traveling a few years ago, and ended up having to change back into my male clothes to fix a problem I was having on the vehicle, when I finished I went into the men's, since it was somewhat crowded I received all kinds of stares & it was the most uncomfortable experience ever. Later on down the road we stopped to get something to eat, since I still in my male clothes I went into the men's room again, this time I didn't stay, no one was there but I was so grossed out by the look of the place, I went out and straight into the women's. Since then I have never been back to the men's room.

I wish everyone the best with your decisions on your time line to start your journey to a happier, truer you. Remember to always be true to yourself and in do time things will fall into place.

Hugs to everyone, Jessie Elizabeth

When I act more feminine I get mamed, amiga'ed and ect ect in boy mode. 

I knew the time came when I just couldnt deal with a half and half existence, after I told my parents I been making plans for full time which I have set to climax May 1st of this year with a name change coming soon afterwards.  Relinquishing my old name is probably going to be the scariest, if not slightly heart breaking part.  I was named after a dead uncle so I sorta hafta carry that with me.  I prefer when people use Rita, it makes me feel better :3

Hi girls

Thanks for everyone's replies

I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. Mentally I need to go full time. Everyday I pretend to be male I feel a part of me die. I'm worried what will happen to me. The other part of me knows its best to wait until my voice is ready and stick to my plan which was to go full time in June.

I'm so scared at the moment. I'm worried ill lose my job. I'm worried about my self.

Anyway thanks for listening and any further advice would be great

I too was going to wait for June/July, where I would be like 7-8 months on HRT and had like 7-8 laser sessions. I thought that was a good time.

But for me, I've gotten to a point in my dressing (skinny jeans, fem shirts) and appearance (hair extensions, pierced ears, shaped eyebrows, lack of much beard shadow plus the changes due to HRT) where I don't really pass as male very well. I'm in this sort of androgynous state and I feel more uncomfortable in public because I'm mentally in "boy mode" and use my male voice, since this is only for work, that it just feels like I might as well go full time now. I'm happier as I feminize more but it just makes me want to go full time more so I can be comfortable.

It's really only work left for me and I know my voice isn't perfect (another reason I wanted to wait) but it won't get perfect while I'm constantly switching context.

I've been on HRT for almost 5 months now and pass fairly well I think so I decided I'm going full time next week. If you feel like it and you feel you pass well enough to be comfortable, then go for it!

Think about all the situations that might be tricky though, like going to doctors and using your current name, I made sure to do those things first and get past them before I finally decided. Guess for me it was just a matter of being sure I'd be comfortable right now.

When I couldn't stand seeing myself dressed in the costume of a male any longer.

Scary question really. I don't really want to go full time before I pass, in particular in the workplace. As I've always been fairly androgynous, my dysphoria is bearable as long as I don't need to run around in a three piece suit with tie (although even that is doable for a day, I just imagine I'm acting...).

Issue is that our company actually has a policy that we have to inform management 3 months prior to social transition. So I'm scared that I may either shout wolf too early, or wait too long and be in all sorts of difficulties trying to pass in boy mode while being addressed as a woman by strangers even when presenting male. 

For me it just kind of gradually happened... Once I finally accepted that I needed to transition, I started actually going out as the real me, then gradually over time it got more and more common until it was almost as if the only time I ever presented in boy mode was for work... And then, maybe 6 months from the first time I actually left my house as Sarah, I went full time in work too.

For me it was when I was getting too many strange looks and misgenderings.  I knew I was ready but I needed a little push, and that happened thanks to a course that I had asked the certificate to be printed in my new name at registration. Been the only female registered, I walked into the room, late, still in maleish clothes and the guy running the course said ah you must be Rachel, handed me the female locker room keys told me where the female toilets where. I turned up the next day as Rachel but conservative and increased the femininity of how I looked throughout the course; and that ended him forever!

There's a theme among a lot of posts in this thread that the right time to go fulltime is when you pass well in public.

I want to reassure our sisters who, for lots of reasons, may always have trouble passing:

It's OK to go fulltime if you don't pass.

Fulltime is not a privilege bestowed upon the passable while the non-passable are relegated to watching from the sidelines.

Women who find it hard to pass are just as female and it is just as appropriate for them to go fulltime.

Quote from: suzifrommd on April 18, 2013, 06:54:07 AM
There's a theme among a lot of posts in this thread that the right time to go fulltime is when you pass well in public.

I want to reassure our sisters who, for lots of reasons, may always have trouble passing:

It's OK to go fulltime if you don't pass.

Fulltime is not a privilege bestowed upon the passable while the non-passable are relegated to watching from the sidelines.

Women who find it hard to pass are just as female and it is just as appropriate for them to go fulltime.

I agree with this although some of use felt a little pushed into going full time because people assumed we were said gender it does not mean you can't go full time if you think you don't pass. Remember we are ower own worse critics anyways. You may not feel you pass yet many other may think differently and see you as said gender. Plus I think half of it is how you present yourself and attitude.
On the bathroom note thing though I had that happen to when I was presenting as male. It's scary being pushed in situations like that but as someone once told me for everything in life just act like you belong and never let them smell the fear
Rock on my trans sisters and brothers. We got this

For me, it's kinda gray.  I considered myself fulltime the moment I got a job as myself.

Quote from: suzifrommd on April 18, 2013, 06:54:07 AM

It's OK to go fulltime if you don't pass.

Indeed.

I went full time after high school, due to being kicked out of the house, most friends and all family wanted nothing to do with me.  I had nothing to my name aside from my car. When you have nothing to lose, there was no reason for me not to go for it. I also agree you can go full time even if you don't pass or aren't on hrt.  I think you should do what makes you happiest so you can enjoy life and try to not care what others think about you since its not their business anyways.

When I couldnt take it anymore that my parents treated me as a boy, and my sister as a girl. I was a girl too. So I ran away from home, was gone for a day and a half, and was 9 years old.

But when you just cant take it anymore, whenever that is for you.

Well I call the number full time from my official name change day, but I was actually full time wearing female clothes and having not worn any male clothes at least 3 years before that having a fairly androgynous look with long hair and having had been on HRT at that point for 13 years was being gendered commonly female, the main thing I was afraid to start was public restrooms,

I was redirected several time to Women's restrooms before my ID had been changed since I had been on HRT so long.

Quote from: girl you look fierce on May 18, 2013, 06:12:53 PM
I went full time as soon as I had the freedom to present female, when I moved out of my parents' house... It takes extra work though to pass regularly not having hrt.

girl-why-u-not-on-hrt? I guess you don't really need it huh, I've seen some of your pics

I went full time when I realized I was full time. It just sorta happened and one day I was like... Wait a second... I'm full time!