Wish granted, but the mob is on your tail for some debt he still owes to them

I wish that my confusion would go away.

Granted. You are no longer confused -- about anything! You understand EVERYTHING. And the information overload makes your head explode.

I wish celery tasted like chocolate.

Wish Granted . . . Celery now tastes like chocolate, but you lose your taste buds, and therefore cannot taste the difference!! :/

I wish that i could go on a giant shopping spree and someone else would pay for it!!

Granted. They paid for it alright! You shopped until THEY dropped. Dead.

I wish I could draw amazing portraits of people.

Wish granted, but one of your portrairs comes to life and kills you.

I wish i wouldn't be afraid of costumes and go into acting.

Granted. You're cured of your fear of costumes and get the lead in a play, but on opening night the costumes revolt and slaughter everyone in the theatre.

I wish I could grant real wishes!

Aww, you caught me in mid-edit.

Granted. Now wish for something before times runs out and destroys the uni-- too late.

I wish I wouldn't be so picky about every little detail.

Fine, now you're a complete slacker surrounded by flies and mold.

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any
other weird surprises.  You got it?

Got it. But it still gives you food poisoning. You wanted mayo on that right? No? Oh, my bad.

I wish I had a butler.

Wish granted. They are useless.

I wish I had some Krispy Kreme donuts

Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on August 17, 2013, 05:29:45 AM
I wish I had some Krispy Kreme donuts

Wish granted, but only a few. 3,904 to be exact. You've now gained 400 pounds.

I wish everything in my life didn't get crazy all at the same time.

Wish granted. Your life is boring now.

I wish I could now lose the 400 pounds I gained from eating exactly 3,904 Krispy Kreme donuts

Wish granted, everyone else smells rosies but you always gag smelling your own

I wish I didn't get the sevre diarrhea and nausea from losing weight

Granted. Now you're fat again.

I wish people wouldn't be so quick to pass judgment.

Wish granted, but tissue always magically appears and hangs out. You can't get rid of it. The more you try, the more stains appear.


I wish I had a cowboy hat

Granted, Unfortunately its too small for your head.

I wish houses where affordable.

Granted. You can now buy an affordable house, although everyone has moved onto massive spaceships at no cost and are moving to far away planets and you're all alone.

I wish I could fly.

Chris

Granted, but he's a complete douche.


I wish i was the next Jimi Hendrix

Wish granted. You start believing in yourself and continue to do so, but no one else does.

I wish could eat souls

Quote from: SaveMeJeebus on August 18, 2013, 02:45:45 PM
Wish granted. You start believing in yourself and continue to do so, but no one else does.

I wish could eat souls

Granted. Filet of Dover sole sauteed in a white wine sauce.

I wish people would stop thinking that the world is entitled to know I'm trans.