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Bad Jokes

Started by Cindy, March 13, 2011, 03:29:37 AM

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Shaina

I was a child and she was a child   
    In this kingdom by the sea:   
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
    I and my Annabel Lee
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dalebert


Cindy

Quote from: dalebert on October 31, 2013, 02:44:34 PM
For the Aussies

You have no idea how true that is here. Most West Aussie reckon the Eastern seaboard are a bunch of pussies, and the east think the west has gone to the dogs.
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Robin Mack

Quote from: Cindy on November 01, 2013, 10:28:12 AM
You have no idea how true that is here. Most West Aussie reckon the Eastern seaboard are a bunch of pussies, and the east think the west has gone to the dogs.

On a related note (and in bad joke form), even before beginning my transition I used to strenuously object to people calling "weak" people "pussies"... on the grounds that it is degrading to pussies, because pussies have evolved specifically to really take a pounding.

*runs away and hides*

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Constance

A steak pun is a rare medium done well.

Robin Mack

Quote from: Constance on November 01, 2013, 11:52:37 AM
A steak pun is a rare medium done well.

So it came to pass in the Reign of King Edward I, that the populous was gravely concerned, for it was said that there was a woman wandering about, offering to contact the spirits of the dearly departed in exchange for compensation.  This, of course, was heresy!  The court of the good king agreed that something must be done, and that the woman must be apprehended.  So, they collected the descriptions (a very short and thin woman, with no other remarkable characteristics) and called upon the scribes to draw up broadsheets that could be posted throughout the land, offering a small reward for her capture.

The broadsheets ran with one of the earliest headlines on record, "Small Medium at Large!"

*hides again*
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MadeleineG

Quote from: Cindy on November 01, 2013, 10:28:12 AM
You have no idea how true that is here. Most West Aussie reckon the Eastern seaboard are a bunch of pussies, and the east think the west has gone to the dogs.

Canada, Australia... different countries, same regional stereotypes   :-\

(and, as my son just astutely pointed out, they also both end with 'a')
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Danielle Emmalee

Quote from: Just Gwynne! on November 01, 2013, 01:18:38 PM
Canada, Australia... different countries, same regional stereotypes   :-\

(and, as my son just astutely pointed out, they also both end with 'a')

Not only that, they both have 3 A's
Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
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dalebert


Cindy

Quote from: Robin Mack on November 01, 2013, 12:06:52 PM
So it came to pass in the Reign of King Edward I, that the populous was gravely concerned, for it was said that there was a woman wandering about, offering to contact the spirits of the dearly departed in exchange for compensation.  This, of course, was heresy!  The court of the good king agreed that something must be done, and that the woman must be apprehended.  So, they collected the descriptions (a very short and thin woman, with no other remarkable characteristics) and called upon the scribes to draw up broadsheets that could be posted throughout the land, offering a small reward for her capture.

The broadsheets ran with one of the earliest headlines on record, "Small Medium at Large!"

*hides again*

Well may you hide!!!

Reminds me of the time the wife beater went to see a spiritualist and asked if his wife had forgiven him for beating her to death. She just laughed in his face.

He was arrested for striking a happy medium.

<hides under same rock as Robin>
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Xhianil

A kid walks into a bar, he only relizes he did after looking up from his phone and hitting his head again.
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dalebert


MadeleineG

Quote from: Joules on November 04, 2013, 12:53:31 PM


House, Gandalf & Sarah Silverman.  2 out of 3 aint bad.

River Tam would kick Kim Kardashian's a$$
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michelle gee

How do ya tell if a woman is ticklish?

Give her a couple of test tickles.   :D
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LordKAT

Quote from: michelle gee on November 04, 2013, 05:45:04 PM
How do ya tell if a woman is ticklish?

Give her a couple of test tickles.   :D

Err.



Bad Joke = my life.
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Mariax

Quote from: michelle gee on November 04, 2013, 05:45:04 PM
How do ya tell if a woman is ticklish?

Give her a couple of test tickles.   :D
The second the punch line set in...

Glad my phone is waterproof.
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Amelia Pond

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Shaina

Quote from: Mariax on November 05, 2013, 03:47:16 AM
The second the punch line set in...

Glad my phone is waterproof.

Agreed. Took me a minute :P
I was a child and she was a child   
    In this kingdom by the sea:   
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
    I and my Annabel Lee
  •  

Beth Andrea

Quote from: Joules on November 05, 2013, 09:03:58 PM


According to the caption where I found this, that is Justin Bieber

That is despicable, no matter who does it.
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Danielle Emmalee

Quote from: Beth Andrea on November 05, 2013, 09:10:15 PM
That is despicable, no matter who does it.

You mean setting up these pictures to make it look like he spit on the girl? 
Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
  •