My friend and I are out thrift storing today, and we were talking about the chance of meeting openly hostile people...I told her to not worry too much, because I'd been out for a couple years, and had never actually met anyone who was like that.

So we go in the first thrift store, she goes down one aisle, and I go down another. About halfway down I see a guy STARING at me. As I walk by, I make eye contact, smile and say, "Hi."

He says, in a loud voice, "You are a GUY."  <--His face

I stop, and keep eye contact. I turn and face him. We're about 5' apart. I have two lines of thought:

1. "Quick, make a snappy comeback...come on, think of something...snappy, but not snarky...."

2.Let him make the next move, face him down until he backs down...

After a few seconds, he turned and went to the checkout...

I'm having lunch now, will get back soon and write the follow-up....

Incidentally, I *hate* adrenaline....

I knew I'd find one of two things when I clicked on this thread!   
Don't let a stranger ruin your day, hon. Hugs, Devlyn

For some reason I thought this was an actual douche you were going to be talking about. Lol.

He probably has some issues with his own masculinity if he needs to try and police the gender expression of others. I can't fathom someone who is truly comfortable with themselves just going up to someone like that, as if another person's presentation actually offends them. Still, I'm sorry this happened to you. *hug* Talk about unfortunate, since you had just said that you never met openly hostile people.

I would just ignore him Beth he isn't worth your time or your effort don't let him ruin your day out with your friend.

I suggest you just flush him from your mind!!

Quote from: kabit on November 10, 2013, 03:26:37 PM
I suggest you just flush him from your mind!!

Pun intended? LMAO

Quote from: caleb. on November 10, 2013, 03:31:08 PM
Pun intended? LMAO

Always! The pun is mightier than the sword!

Quote from: kabit on November 10, 2013, 03:32:46 PM

Always! The pun is mightier than the sword!

omfg lol. 

It's a shame there isn't an aerosol product that you can just whip out and spray in their faces... JERK-BE-GONE! And like bad smells they just evaporate.

I didn't, but let me finish, girls...!



So after he turned, I kept on shopping (not really, I was pretty jittery from the adrenaline)...but I made myself walk slowly, deliberately, checking out the pots and pans...the sheets, blankets...a store stocker came over and said she'd seen and heard what happened, and said "Boy, that guy was a dick, wasn't he?  Do you need help or anything?" No, I was fine, then I remembered my friend is here, and she might want to know there's an ass-douche in our midst.

So I went and found her, gave her a gentle awareness, and then I noticed he was in the checkout line. I decided I'm not going to let him have even the appearance of intimidating me, so I went to the front, and walked slowly by his checkout line, being sure to make eye contact and smile. By the time I got about 40' away, I heard him say, again loudly, "Boy, they're getting pretty bold, aren't they?"

More to come...

Good for you, Beth!

Though my favorite part of your story was the store clerk's reaction. For every person like the creepy guy there are quite a few like the store clerk.

We left, and went to a C-store so I could get a coke and chocolate (instant feel-good medicine, that is!).

As I was paying, the clerk mentioned my cameo necklace, saying it was pretty, and wanted to know what it was called (English wasn't his first languange). I told him, and at first he was a little confused, because his word in his language is similar, but different...finally he asked if it was French, and I said yes, probably. He again said how pretty it was, and that it looked good on me.

<--my face as I left

I actually went back inside and thanked him, because I was in a bit of a mood because of the first guy, but the clerk's "random act of kindness" (complimenting me) changed my day for the better.

My friend and I continued our shopping spree, and have had a WONDERFUL day!

It's so nice having friends. Now if I can just recall and hold it in my heart during my low times...

*hugs*



Awesome day!

You handled things with grace. It is how in my early stages i have done things. Always keep them guessing and never show your hand.

Glad the rest of the day want better

Izzy

Wow you sure made a wonderful recovery from a possibly VERY triggering experience.

Glad to hear that everything turned out with smiles in the end

Wow, we are getting bold!  Who would think people of all sorts like to be treated with respect and courtesy?  And why would we ever get upset by nasty rude remarks from jerks? Outrageous!

Seriously, you handled yourself well.  I probably would have cried right in front of him.  I know this sounds weird, but as a fellow transwoman I'm really proud of what you did and how you conducted yourself. 

Oh that...  Arseholes


Please don't kill me, but I though I was going to read a thread about enemas..

Thanks for the updates Beth! The store clerks (both of them) really gave me a little boost too; it's nice to know that there are people who are kind. I think you handled the situation well, you didn't back down, but you were also courteous about it even though he deserved much less.

I stand by my case that he's a closeted something or other. To be threatened by a smile and to have to comment like that is just ridiculous.

Some people can't help but be themselves in public... You, a clearly confident woman. Him, an ->-bleeped-<-.

Others were kind and supportive. It seems as though they're more common than he.

Quote from: Ms Grace on November 10, 2013, 03:36:40 PM
It's a shame there isn't an aerosol product that you can just whip out and spray in their faces... JERK-BE-GONE! And like bad smells they just evaporate.

Get me this and he will look worse than the kids at Dalshim's birthday party

If that happened in a bar, I'd have ordered him a vinegar and water.