How does every offensive joke start?

By looking over your shoulder...

*Looks over shoulder for other Irish folk*

An Irishman is walking along the rocky shore when he finds a very old bottle washed ashore. He pops the cork and a genie smokes out. By the luck of the Irish, he finds he's freed a grateful genie rather than a wrathful one and the genie in his gratitude offers the man three wishes.

The man wishes for a bottle of his favorite brand of Irish whiskey aged precisely 21 years. *POOF* The bottle appears in his hand. The man immediately opens it and drinks down the whole bottle. It's delicious and strong, just as expected. The bottle fills back up with whiskey. The man drinks it all down again in one long swig. Just as good as before. It fills back up again.

"Wha the Hell?" he says, slurring his speech.

"Good sir, I've been trapped in that bottle for three thousand years. No ordinary bottle of whiskey can possibly measure up to even a third of my gratitude for being freed. This magical bottle will refill itself the moment its empty and will continue to do so forever and ever with your favorite whiskey just as you like. That said, I am eager to get on with my life as a free genie and would be most grateful if you could come to a decision about your other two wishes."

The guy stumbles a bit and says "No problem, no problem. Uh..." He points at the magic bottle and says "I'll take two more of these!"

Is that a Battlestar Galactica joke?

Edmonton Eulers

During the month of February 1972, the Oilers temporarily changed the franchise name to the Edmonton Eulers as a tribute to mathematician Leonhard Euler (Euler's number ~ 2.72, thus corresponding with the month 2/72). The team introduced jerseys with lowercase "e"s in place of the usual capital "E"s at the beginning of both city and team name, first wearing them during a home game on February 1. For the entire month, the team utilized a pricing scheme for individual tickets akin to Euler's formula to approximate e, using n as the day of the month:



Ticket prices started out at $1.50 on February 1, topping out at $2.67 on February 29. Fan reaction to the temporary change was mixed: in general, casual fans were deeply confounded and upset by the change, while more mathematically-oriented fans welcomed the change with open arms, some going even so far as to suggest that it be permanent. The tension and confusion were relieved on March 3, when the Oilers reverted to their old jerseys for an away game against the Winnipeg Jets

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa

After a one night stand at a gorgeous woman's house, a man rolls over and notices a picture of another guy.

"Is that your husband?", he asks.

"Nope," she smiles.

"Boyfriend, then?"

"Uh, no."

"Brother?"

"No, dummy, that was me before the surgery."

Quote from: Jill F on November 18, 2013, 08:24:10 PM
"No, dummy, that was me before the surgery."

You didn't look over your shoulder first!

Ooooh my.  Indeed. 

Talk nerdy to me, Robin...

Quote from: Robin Mack on November 19, 2013, 11:20:37 AM

Nerds everywhere are in convulsions.

Quote from: dalebert on November 19, 2013, 12:50:03 PM
Nerds everywhere are in convulsions.

I think my brain just exploded...mixing genres should come with a warning label...

Quote from: Beth Andrea on November 19, 2013, 02:04:21 PM
I think my brain just exploded...mixing genres should come with a warning label...

What would top it off is if he were holding the Glaive from Krull instead of a light saber.