Yeah, almost as much fun as smarmy posts. Be careful, Isabelle, if you look carefully at the quoted posts, Katie has made some changes on the fly. Hugs, Devlyn

If someone is non-op, her advice doesn't apply. I'm not even saying I agree with her. But her point is her opinion. An opinion that was asked for.

Though this is fun...I would like to get back on topic.

I have also found it is very helpful to take risks. Not super crazy risks, but small ones. If someone talks to you, talk back. If someone actually makes an effort to connect with you, make that effort back. With this tactic you might get hurt, or you might find the love of your life.

Hurtful to whom and how?

Quote from: Orange Creamsicle on December 10, 2013, 05:33:56 PM
Ummm it doesn't matter if she was only talking to people who plan on getting SRS, she's saying that you shouldn't bother dating without it.  How does that sound to someone who is non-op?  Hurtful and pessimistic.  I'm sorry but if you are saying preop women should wait to date, essentially you are saying non-op women should never date.

I think you're reading way too much into her posts and assuming things that aren't there. And you know what they say about assuming: you make an a$$ out U and Me lol

She is saying that dating is time and energy consuming and that pre-op women should focus their energy. I'm dating and I can tell ya it is time and energy consuming. Not too mention money consuming. My BF likes me to contribute.

Plus, this is a sub-forum for MTF transsexuals. I mean shouldn't we be able to talk about our life goals without being accused of being hurtful. How is it hurtful for women to talk about their problems? I can appreciate the travails of non-op women but I think we should be able to talk openly here without having to mince words. This is why I hate trans politics.

Quote from: Brooke777 on December 10, 2013, 05:48:45 PM
If someone actually makes an effort to connect with you, make that effort back. With this tactic you might get hurt, or you might find the love of your life.

This is what I did with my BF and now it is me and him versus the world so yes, you could find the love of your life.

QuotePlus, this is a sub-forum for MTF transsexuals. I mean shouldn't we be able to talk about our life goals without being accused of being hurtful. How is it hurtful for women to talk about their problems? I can appreciate the travails of non-op women but I think we should be able to talk openly here without having to mince words. This is why I hate trans politics.

Quoted for truth.

Last time people didn't have to mince words in ths subforum the passing thread got locked. Just saying.

Quote from: Brooke777 on December 10, 2013, 05:48:45 PM
With this tactic you might get hurt, or you might find the love of your life.

Pretty much you can't find the latter without ever risking the former.

Sure, we have more things that can derail our potenential relationships than most, but buck up buttercups!  It takes such extraordinary strength to survive transition, if we could handle that, we can surely deal with a little risk here and there in the name of finding love, yeah?

Quote from: Katie on December 10, 2013, 01:24:18 PM
Umm correct this is a transgender site. On the other hand this specific forum is for the transsexual. Now the definition of a transsexual is someone that desires to get srs if you don't believe me you can look it up.

I never said that trans people need srs. Just transsexuals...........

I love how everyone has just glossed over this lil gem. Or does everyone else feel the same way? As someone who is considering going non-op, have I been posting in the wrong part of the site all this time? -_-

While I can understand that some want to have SRS before dating, it's not true for everyone.  I know people that did that and are happy, but I don't know if I can wait.  Truth is Srs is very expensive and will take me time to save up.  Plus, being 24 without ever dating isn't fun.  Although, I do acknowledge there are challenges.  As someone who is straight, it will be challenging to find understanding men.  And I don't know how comfortable I am about physical intimacy being pre-op.  Perhaps if I meet the right person and I feel comfortable with them.  Still, I can't wait to get out there and meet someone.  I've spent my life being ashamed of my sexuality, I'd like to finally embrace it and allow myself to have a boyfriend.   Just wish I knew how to find a guy that can understand me while I'm still so early in my transition.   

Wish I had some advice to provide op, but all I can do is empathize with your situation.  I hope you find someone special that will accept you for who you are!

Quote from: learningtolive on December 10, 2013, 06:58:16 PM
While I can understand that some want to have SRS before dating, it's not true for everyone.  I know people that did that and are happy, but I don't know if I can wait.  Truth is Srs is very expensive and will take me time to save up.  Plus, being 24 without ever dating isn't fun.  Although, I do acknowledge there are challenges.  As someone who is straight, it will be challenging to find understanding men.  And I don't know how comfortable I am about physical intimacy being pre-op.  Perhaps if I meet the right person and I feel comfortable with them.  Still, I can't wait to get out there and meet someone.  I've spent my life being ashamed of my sexuality, I'd like to finally embrace it and allow myself to have a boyfriend.   Just wish I knew how to find a guy that can understand me while I'm still so early in my transition.   

Wish I had some advice to provide op, but all I can do is empathize with your situation.  I hope you find someone special that will accept you for who you are!

There are plenty of people out there, of all ages, and genders who will like you, for you. It may take some time to find them, but they are there.

This is my thread as the OP, and I think those who have posted on dating advice are awesome. Thank you for being open with your thoughts.  I would like to keep the discussion going about dating...pre, post, or non-op... it does not matter for purposes of this discussion.  Let's keep it positive so we can help all of our sisters,  okay?

If this devolves into a debate on the meaning of transsexual or what someone did or didn't say, I would kindly ask the mods to lock the thread.  Let's just focus on our own personal experiences of what has and has not worked.  I think personal experiences are always the most powerful.

Thanks again to all those posting great dating advice.  I almost feel ready to poke my red toenail in the water again

Toni

Toni,

Do not forget to look inside our community for possible life partners. There are many Males and Females who also are looking for the same.

Out in the world i would do what you did in the past. If you see someone of interest make your move. Just because our x's could not handle staying in love does not mean the rest of the world is the same. There is someone out there for you if you are willing to look.

Many hugs and glad it is something that is crossing your mind.
Izzy

My best advice:
*Be yourself.
*Be safe.
*Take risks.
*Try new things.
*Avoid making commitments too soon.
*Don't project your body dysphoria onto others. They may adore you any way you are.
*Have fun!
*Learn what gives you joy, curls your toys, lifts your spirits, and makes you happy to be alive.
*Remember how incredible you really are.
*Have a close friend, confidante, or therapist you can bounce things off of.
*Don't isolate yourself just because you are in love.
*Don't ever wait to live your life and to love who you love. Life. Is too short to let three inches or three pounds of flesh hold your heart hostage.
*And when your new love asks you to move in, keep your apartment for a while.

I could care less what Katie thinks about anything...

I say do what you want and be careful.

With that said, I have a dinner date with a handsome man coming soon. 

Quote from: monica93304 on December 10, 2013, 10:59:45 PM
With that said, I have a dinner date with a handsome man coming soon.

Good luck! I hope it goes well!