I knew at 4 when I knew I had wait to wear my sister clothes when the lights were out. Then when I was 7  I started holding the hand of  the boy my age from down the street and walking hand in hand around the neighborhood. I confessed to him I wore my sisters clothes. I didn't realize then I was different , looking back it explained my life.

Quote from: evecrook on December 14, 2013, 03:29:45 PM
I knew at 4 when I knew I had wait to wear my sister clothes when the lights were out. Then when I was 7  I started holding the hand of  the boy my age from down the street and walking hand in hand around the neighborhood. I confessed to him I wore my sisters clothes. I didn't realize then I was different , looking back it explained my life.

I can remember praying to Santa as a three or four year old to wake up a girl and for him to bring me a girls' wardrobe of clothing for Christmas.

Wearing a tutu at age 5, loving it, and then absolutely despairing when it didn't fit any more. That's one for my shrink!

At age 4 I told my mom I wanted a girls' one piece swimsuit instead of the trunks I had and I got the lecture about what is "appropriate for boys".  The first of many...

Quote from: jussmoi4nao on December 14, 2013, 03:48:24 PM
There was never a time that I can remember where I didn't intensely want to be female and I remember I started liking boys at around age 5 (but I didn't get super boy crazy til 11). Definably, since age four, since that's the time when my memories start. As I said, it was always there, every single day and was always very intense..it wasn't incidents surrounded by confusion or ambiguity, I've always known exactly what I wanted and felt completely female. In fact, I remember at 6 or 7 I told myself "I AM a girl inside, just no one else but me knows it"...I alwys think it's funny how even at such a young age I was able to formulate such a complex idea and separate this from my other desires at the time as something that was more fundamental and innate..

Then after puberty things got reaaally bad and depressing. For a while that was a very terrible time in my life that I prefer to forget entirely..

that's exactly what happened to me around puberty

At 7 and going to an all boys school and thinking I should be in the girls school.

At age 5 I began to pray every night that I would wake up as a girl.  A few times I cried over it.  I would get up in sthe middle of the night and look at the girls clothes in the Sears and JCPenney catalogs.  Cannot number how many conversations...and condemnations...I had from my mom.  It got much, much worse at puberty as I not only prayed for a change to happen, but also put my thoughts on paper, which were found by my mom.  Much, much, much more...but to answer the original question, age 5 and it does NOT go away, even if you are the one trying to make it so.  You canmt remove yourself from, well, yourself.

vaguely maybe 3-5 ish several small memories, but one in particular was we were at a cousins house or friends I don't remember, and they were going to take me in the pool but all they had were girls swim suits as my mom didn't bring the appropriate attire, and I was very excited at the idea of swing and wearing a girls swimsuit,..... she had me swim in underwear    for certain I'd say 7-8, I just didn't fit in, my best friends were girls and so much more, but I didn't really understand at the time or how to express it. so....

Quote from: calico on December 14, 2013, 04:54:45 PM
vaguely maybe 3-5 ish several small memories, but one in particular was we were at a cousins house or friends I don't remember, and they were going to take me in the pool but all they had were girls swim suits as my mom didn't bring the appropriate attire, and I was very excited at the idea of swing and wearing a girls swimsuit,..... she had me swim in underwear    for certain I'd say 7-8, I just didn't fit in, my best friends were girls and so much more, but I didn't really understand at the time or how to express it. so....

It's definitely an experience to go through in life

Quote from: Jill F on December 14, 2013, 03:38:22 PM
At age 4 I told my mom I wanted a girls' one piece swimsuit instead of the trunks I had and I got the lecture about what is "appropriate for boys".  The first of many...

I also knew at age 4. I remember my mom asked me what I wanted for my 5th birthday and I said that I wanted a purse. I didn't think anything of it but she thought it was "abnormal."

Also 3 or 4 YO...


I remember seeing my twin sister's growing breast, and all I had was a flat chest...I cried so hard....

Quote from: peky on December 14, 2013, 05:06:33 PM
Also 3 or 4 YO...


I remember seeing my twin sister's growing breast, and all I had was a flat chest...I cried so hard....

that breast thing caused a lot of problems for me to, especially when I had to stuff my sisters bra

It wasnt until middle school that I realized that the things I was doing alone were "abnormal"...

I though that dressing in womens clothes  or make up was something that all boys were experimenting with,,,never have I been so wrong...

I hadnt any disphoria though,,,when i was a child my body was nowhere close to masculine so it was kinda ok,,,when puberty struck me , well then I started to see...

I always did "things" alone , always had "dreams" and "fantasies" it just took me a while to realize , that this   was going to become my future and only hope...

I knew I was different since 8 maybe,,,dont really have a good memory I might be missing things...
Hhhm I think one time ,must have been around 5 , I was with my mom and I saw a girl with really beautiful legs, I remember I kinda wished to have those too when i grow up ,,,my mom notices I was looking at the girl and she said its too early...didnt get it back then , neither did she 


@btw evercrook your  story was very dramatic...what happened with that boy after you told him you were wearing girls clothes ? if you dont mind of course...

Probably puberty when I started getting hair everywhere.

Quote from: Jill F on December 14, 2013, 03:38:22 PM
At age 4 I told my mom I wanted a girls' one piece swimsuit instead of the trunks I had and I got the lecture about what is "appropriate for boys".  The first of many...

I got the lecture from my older brother at about the same age.  Prior to that I was friends with all the neighborhood girls and enjoyed going out to play.
But playing with girls was just something that 'boys do not do'.  Under my brother's "supervision", I don't remember having any other friends until well past the 5th grade and no social life until he left home when I was in the 9th grade.

Long story short. I still hate him decades later.

Quote from: FalsePrincess on December 14, 2013, 05:53:22 PM
It wasnt until middle school that I realized that the things I was doing alone were "abnormal"...

I though that dressing in womens clothes  or make up was something that all boys were experimenting with,,,never have I been so wrong...

I hadnt any disphoria though,,,when i was a child my body was nowhere close to masculine so it was kinda ok,,,when puberty struck me , well then I started to see...

I always did "things" alone , always had "dreams" and "fantasies" it just took me a while to realize , that this   was going to become my future and only hope...

I knew I was different since 8 maybe,,,dont really have a good memory I might be missing things...
Hhhm I think one time ,must have been around 5 , I was with my mom and I saw a girl with really beautiful legs, I remember I kinda wished to have those too when i grow up ,,,my mom notices I was looking at the girl and she said its too early...didnt get it back then , neither did she 


@btw evercrook your  story was very dramatic...what happened with that boy after you told him you were wearing girls clothes ? if you dont mind of course...     I'll tell you the whole story. Before we met, he lived about 5 houses down the street. I use to play out in front with the girls who lived near by never talked to him. One day he came up to me with a small shovel and said if I didn't talk to him he'd hit me over the head with it. I was an incredibly introverted kid, wouldn't talk to any one. I decided to talk to him and are friendship just blossomed. I consider him my first boy friend . He was a lot taller then me ,but we were the same age. I don't know why I started holding his hand ,but I felt very comfortable doing it. I felt pretty safe too. I guess my mother and his mother saw us walking around holding hands. One day my mother came up to me and told me that I wasn't allowed to talk to him. that lasted a day or two; I saw him in the back of my house and he told me to come to him and I did. Our parents never said any thing again. The story of me telling him that I dressed up I don't remember when it happened but after I told him he never said any thing about it'

   something I remember doing every time I actually swam and I hated to swim up till well... ya'all know.. was when I did swim I wouldn't go swimming without wearing a shirt. I felt so wrong if I didn't wear something to cover me up.

32. No, really. For the longest time I figured since I didn't have one of the "knew since childhood" stories that I wasn't REALLY trans, but hey, I transitioned and I'm blissfully happy about it, so I guess I was after all.

(I also feel that I really was a boy and then a man for a while... but people can change.)

Quote from: calico on December 14, 2013, 06:22:21 PM
  something I remember doing every time I actually swam and I hated to swim up till well... ya'all know.. was when I did swim I wouldn't go swimming without wearing a shirt. I felt so wrong if I didn't wear something to cover me up.

I have always felt this too. I got better at 'toughing it out' with time and pretending that I didn't care, but this summer when we went to beach I felt completely undressed. In retrospect this may have been the last of many final straws.

My first inkling was wanting the red patent leather shoes with the straps for school instead of the black leather boys shoes at 5. My mother was not impressed