I must be very boring.

Quote from: gray otter on February 02, 2014, 05:31:22 PM
I lived with my dad from 95(age 32) until 08(age 45) when he passed away. He wanted me around, I helped him out and at times he helped me out. I didn't feel like a freeloader and no one ever accused me of being one. I was just amazed that he still wanted me around even when I transitioned.

Obviously he loved you sweetie!

Quote from: birkin on February 02, 2014, 10:59:20 PM
You're not allowed to die on me Mister. I can't comment on the driving part as I don't have my license yet (still need to take classes and no cash), but I think with more practice you will feel more confident.

Why is it that you're always forbiding me to die on you? LOL  I just have horrible decision-making abilities and slow reaction times when it comes to driving, especially on busy roads, and I think there was some type of statistic shown that South Carolina has the second worst drivers in the U.S.  North Carolina made the list at number 7 and I'd have to drive there.... >.>

Quote from: LordKAT on February 02, 2014, 11:28:44 PM

Malachite, I think you should go for the androgel. It may make the wait until top surgery less stressful and give you a reason to practice driving. Your death isn't allowed so drive careful.

The androgel is really what I want to do, but it's so darn expensive, and I don't think insurance covers it?  If went that route then top surgery would have to wait a bit longer.  I do agre that going there would give me more driving experience though.  I've only drove once on my own and I went further than planned. >.>

Quote from: Emo on February 02, 2014, 10:54:47 PM
I dont want to be me.

Neither do I.

I'm wondering if moving to a new city is a good idea.  Got offered humongous a promotion if I go.

I'd be moving from a very small city to the DC area... scary place.

Started watching Orange is the new black. This is SO weird haha.

Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on February 03, 2014, 02:04:36 PM
Started watching Orange is the new black. This is SO weird haha.

Weird how? What do you think of it so far?

I'm thinking about a lot of things that I want to talk about, but I can't keep them all straight in my head.

Quote from: Edge on February 03, 2014, 02:40:38 PM
Weird how? What do you think of it so far?

I'm thinking about a lot of things that I want to talk about, but I can't keep them all straight in my head.

Idk. Just the people. And the spaced out sense of humour. I like it but it was not what I expected....... :p

Write it down, step by step! I'm a list kind of person. My head doesn't work unless I can make lists.

Quote from: Kittenswithmittens on February 03, 2014, 02:46:54 PM
Idk. Just the people. And the spaced out sense of humour. I like it but it was not what I expected....... :p

Write it down, step by step! I'm a list kind of person. My head doesn't work unless I can make lists.

Oh yeah. The main character is very flawed as well. She's not a very likeable person.
Me too. I'll give it a shot.

Would yogurt and soy protein bars be a good diet?

You can actually pm yourself on here. Cool, a new way to talk to myself, privately even.

Quote from: gray otter on February 03, 2014, 04:36:31 PM
You can actually pm yourself on here. Cool, a new way to talk to myself, privately even.

Yeah, you've been able to do that for awhile. I would use this function when I wanted to send notes to myself for things that I was keeping track of. (stuff in fics, lists of noise related things, etc.)

Quote from: Emo on February 03, 2014, 04:27:11 PM
Would yogurt and soy protein bars be a good diet?

Only yogurt and soy protein bars, no. I'd recommend more of a variety. You can include them in your diet though.

Things I am thinking about:
-My life. I keep dreaming about the way I want it, but I don't know how to get it that way. I have a lot to learn, I don't know where I can learn much of it, and I worry that I won't have enough time to learn it all. Still, I feel hopeful. That may be because I keep day dreaming though.
-D. I was going to avoid him. Turns out it didn't even take much temptation for that to go out the window. I don't know how I feel about that or him. I'm conflicted and confused. I'm conflicted and confused about the idea of caring about someone in general.
I accidentally showed emotion and revealed that I consider myself a freak (because I'm apparently an idiot). He responded by saying that just because someone is different, doesn't mean they're a freak. It wasn't just what he said though. It was the way he said it and the expression on his face that was softer (for lack of a better word) than what I can usually read off him (or anyone). I don't know what to make of it.

I feel so...ugly. Lol. But not really over my physical features. I just feel like I'm sloppy. I need a haircut, my beard is at an awkward stage, my clothes don't fit well but I can't afford to buy more (and I have to take into consideration I have a chest to hide), got some acne scarring on one cheek from a bad breakout a couple months ago...

I've also hurt my knee and don't know how it happened.

One of the local schools brought in a guest speaker to discuss trans issues. I was getting very agitated.

a) The parents of a young transboy spent the entire evening misgendering him.
b) One of the (only) local doctors was the most vocal skeptic in the room.
c) The presenter, while having lots of energy, didn't have ready answers to a couple of medical-end questions.

Quote from: Edge on February 03, 2014, 05:04:18 PM


Things I am thinking about:
-My life. I keep dreaming about the way I want it, but I don't know how to get it that way. I have a lot to learn, I don't know where I can learn much of it, and I worry that I won't have enough time to learn it all.

What kind of things do you need to know?

Quote from: FA on February 03, 2014, 10:19:53 PM
What kind of things do you need to know?

How to fight, how to do computer stuff (or find someone to do it for me), how to get the life I want, etc.

Quote from: Edge on February 03, 2014, 10:22:17 PM

Quote from: FA on February 03, 2014, 10:19:53 PM
What kind of things do you need to know?

How to fight, how to do computer stuff (or find someone to do it for me),

Have you taken classes for these kind of things?

Quotehow to get the life I want, etc.

This may be a little more difficult to figure out. Do you know what you want?

There's a job opening as a security officer at the hospital I've been applying to.  I'm pondering on if I should appy for that job.   I may not have the personality to do that type of work, despite having a criminal justice degree.  I'm not really an assertive person. I really do hope I get one of the other jobs I applied to there.

I'm also thinking that I need to go ahead and apply to be a 911 dispatcher even though it's out of walking/bus transportation range.  I'm starting to face the sad reality that I have to get my license and drive. -sigh-

Quote from: FA on February 03, 2014, 10:26:09 PMHave you taken classes for these kind of things?

If there are any available for the kinds of things I want to learn, I have no idea where or how to find out. I have taken a look at the run of the mill classes that are available and they aren't what I'm looking for.

Quote from: FA on February 03, 2014, 10:26:09 PMThis may be a little more difficult to figure out. Do you know what you want?

Yes. I am not about to describe it in a public forum. At least not in a way that people realize I'm serious.

Quote from: Edge on February 03, 2014, 10:43:00 PM

Quote from: FA on February 03, 2014, 10:26:09 PMThis may be a little more difficult to figure out. Do you know what you want?

Yes. I am not about to describe it in a public forum. At least not in a way that people realize I'm serious.

It's too crazy, eh? well, you never know. I've heard it all.