The wifi here is so annoying. Not stable. Can barely post let alone email.
I wonder what it would be like to be in Vegas as a female. Maybe I don't want to know. As a man I have had so many prostitutes solicit me. And people trying to attract me to "gentlemans clubs." The word gentleman being used very loosely...now that is something I don't like about being seen as male.
I also wonder about how my dad feels about all this. Like if he has accepted it or not. Obviously he has seen all this go down. Everywhere we go it is "sir". And he noticed all my facial hair in the car and told me I should use an electric shaver like he does and then proceeded to explain how to use it. He has also been...um, well, a little more graphic in his conversations. I was laughing at this strip club named Treasures (like wtf kind of name is that? Who comes up with this stuff?) and he goes "yep, you give us treasure, we give you t*ts." He has never really said anything that sexual to me before and it has come up a few other times. It is...weird because I only ever really make dirty jokes with my brother. But it may just we'll be trying to relate to me as a son instead. I think I will stick to dirty talk with my brother though lol, it is just weird when your dad says that word.
Despite the more distasteful parts of being seen as male, it feels good to know I am seen as me. In my city it just seems hard to feel comfortable. People who know me from before, people who know too much about trans people but don't know how to be respectful...here I don't have any of that anxiety because it just never happens.
It's still weird to look at other men and realize that I don't appear my age. I look like a nerdy high school boy with manboobs. Like a 7 year age difference. And it's hard not to get in that mindset either because in many ways I do feel like so many boys do, waiting for the full beard, adjusting to physical and social change, etc. but that doesn't change the fact that I am 24.
