LOL! What fun it is to read such speculation about non-binaries!
'I guess it must be difficult to live such a double sense of identity'.
I can't imagine what it must feel like to be so one dimensional about ones gender...
I mean that in a most nice way, I just don't understand that part of it.
A simplistic way to look at it:
It's like having a bunch on coins that almost all of them have the same image on both sides.
About half of them have a female image, the other half have a male image.
Then there are those who have two different images on each side. Non-binary.
Bigender for the most part could be seen as simply turning that coin every so often.
You have a distinct gender that changes from one binary to another.
But for so many others, it is as if that coin is on it's edge and is spinning at various speeds.
At times, you can easily distinguish one side or the other, at other times it's spinning to fast to be able to see both sides distinctly.
But the more you are able to concentrate on that spin, the easier it becomes to somewhat distinguish the two sides.
For some, the spin is too fast to be able to see anything but a blurred look at gender.
That's understandable.
If you aren't used to the idea of a gender coin having two sides, especially if you can't really understand one of the sides,
it must make that vision of gender all that much harder to see, yet still understand that it is there.
But much of this is perspective, from the coins point of view, you are all moving past them. They are static.
To see this passing by, a majority of them one gender or the other,
can make it seem like you have to have something similar to be a part of that flow going past you.
Dysphoria. That can be taken care of with talk therapy and in quite a few cases it seems, Low Dose HRT.
The idea is so foreign that you have to introduce a rare disorder that stems from trauma?
Come on,... please don't do the 'it must be some kind of mental disorder' explanation.
You don't like yourself explained away by cisgender people when they do that to you, do you?
DID isn't even remotely what it is, so stop it. Accept instead something on the order of what I explained above.
There are a lot of ways to express this, this is just one way. There many others.
The more you ask, the more you question non-binary gender, the more answers that you have that only create still more questions.
'What about, what if, well then it must be like, I'm confused and am at a loss of what to say so I think I'l ask a confusing question....'
Simple acceptance and taking the time to stand back and just learn, without all of these questions,
will go much farther in your understanding of what it is like to be non-binary.
I don't mean this in a harsh way, it's just something that I know from being non-binary for over 60 yrs.
All of which I was aware that I was different. It took until I ran across some terminology to realize how little is actually known.
This is because much of that is speculation from a one dimensional point of view.
Again, not harsh, but true.
It's understandable the difficulty in describing something that you can't really see because it is spinning in front of you.
The truth is, we are just another coin, the same as all of you.
We are not a mental disorder of split personalities. I could make a few speculations about people with DID.
But I won't, instead I just try to accept and listen instead of playing psychoanalyst.
Non-binary people don't look at binary in this kind of way. Because your the norm? No.
Because you are a kind of novelty from our perspective, all of you just passing by.
It's hard to distinguish one of you from the other when you pass by so fast...
Tell me again about what differentiates a male from a female, again.
The definitions become very blurred at some point, they become less an less distinguishable.
You just become coins. More importantly, you are just coins. Not that much different from us,
Which is just how it feels, once the binary induced dysphoria is gone.
Yep, it's true, That's where it stems from, it's the feeling from binaries that we are some kind of disorder.
Even among binaries, the confusion for some, of just which of the binary genders you are is the same thing.
Made to feel abnormal, therefore,... you have a mental disorder. It's not.
It's just called dysphoria and it comes from a majority of people failing to accept your Self.
I don't pretend to understand what it is to be binary, yet it's all around me, the gender world description comes from it.
But I don't need to understand it, I just accept it. I'm normal from my perspective, too.
It's binaries that are a blurry gender passing by. Once in a while, I do get a good look at it.
It's amazingly simplistic. Just one thing, out of so many possibilities.
It must be hard to go through life as only one version of gender?
It's not for you, your world and most everyone's is based on a binary vision of gender.
But more and more are finding that the classical version of male and female breaks down very easily.
It's a matter of perspective for all of us coins. It just depends on your viewpoint.
Accept that some of us quite simply have two different sides and we get to spin at whatever speed we like, to be comfortable.
Even if it means varying that speed, even stopping on edge for moments in time.
We decide how we spin, not the accepted idea of gender as it is envisioned by so many.
We do it to be comfortable for ourselves, not to make others feel comfortable because of their perspective.
It is multidimensional, and I can't imagine what it must be like to have a gender that is just one sided.
It's just as abnormal, yet you're just another coin, so in the bigger perspective, it really doesn't matter.
Just accepting a non-binary is the first step in understanding something you may never fully comprehend.
For a lot of people with gender dysphoria, that's the first step in fixing it.
When you can't understand others gender(s), it's dysphoria.
For many binaries, they don't get that they have this very same dysphoria about non-binaries simply because it seems normal to you.
Skip that part of it, learn to understand it, it doesn't matter. Do it one way or another.
That part of your life will become better in time. It does get better.
You've heard that so many times, and it does, but it also means broadening your perspective a little at a time.
Your understanding of non-binary gender will become so much easier to understand once your dysphoria is gone, also.
I look forward to the day you do, you all seem like such nice people. You just have this little quirk about what gender is.
You become just as adorable as the next person once you get past the damaging effect that dysphoria has on people.
Really, it's true. You're a coin, just like us.
Ativan
