LTL:

I've never seen a photo of you until now, and let me first say that you're going to be a very pretty young lady. 

But as far as being in a male persona I wouldn't worry right now.  They've done specific studies about voice and gesture interpretation.  And a large part of everyone's perception of us depends on our voice, and the way we act.  A boisterous male voice and male attitude do a lot to sway what others think as long as you don't show any concern about what they are seeing in your appearance.  I won't direct you to any individual Youtube video, but look at one or two voice feminization videos and listen to the differences in Male and Female voices with your eyes shut, then with them open.  What you hear and see are tightly bound in your mind, and one can greatly effect the other.  This is especially true about an individuals voice, pitch and timbre, and how that effects what you see in a persons face.



By the way, one of my cousins has a very effeminate looking and acting son who we all are sure is gay or trans.  But, he acts entirely male when he's in public and no one even questions his orientation or identity (excepting all his relatives).  So acting the part and using a male voice and gestures solves his problems, and it should do the same for you.

In short, only worry about the way you speak or act, and you can let the rest take care of itself.  And the full time thing wait for later if it must.  You'll be fine.   

PS. I want laser voice surgery very soon after SRS so I don't need to control a voice that is nearly always out of control.  To wit, the old voice can get burned away forever.

I posted a lot ealier in the thread, but quickly deleted it. I felt bad because i didn't want to be the only person saying that you do look androgynous in those photos - heavily leaning female. I've been trying to shut up and not swim against the tide much recently like Seph i suppose.

Anyhow, i can very much relate to a lot of what you wrote. I too think that whilst i can't fully or rather don't feel comfortable presenting and passing as a women, i don't feel that 'the man' is all that convincing otherwise. I guess it all comes down to how long someone has known you for and the imprint that they already have in their mind. My mother for example is one source that lets me know that she only sees a man, and indeed the same went for my optician on a recent visit, a man who i have seen for a few years prior to HRT. However, that's balanced by the looks that i get, even when wearing a suit and tie (thinking i look quite masculine) it doesn't stop the slightly puzzled expressions. I actually had to stop to by a tie before an interview and when i asked a member of staff to point me in the direction of the ties she said 'you mean a man's tie?' to which i thought well i;m in a suit, without a tie, and i didn't even know women had ties?. The guy serving at the counter looked uncomfortable. So yeah different perceptions of me on the same day, BUT at my interview with my recruitment agent, she was absolutely lovely, massive help and very supportive of my applications. I didn't get the impression that my slightly androgynous appearance would bias her job or the interview process.

I find tying my hair back, letting my eyebrows grow out helps. Facial hair just looks so fricking odd now with the changes in skin texture, so maybe avoid growing that out as well.

Quote from: castle of glass on March 16, 2014, 03:10:06 PM
I posted a lot ealier in the thread, but quickly deleted it. I felt bad because i didn't want to be the only person saying that you do look androgynous in those photos - heavily leaning female. I've been trying to shut up and not swim against the tide much recently like Seph i suppose.

Anyhow, i can very much relate to a lot of what you wrote. I too think that whilst i can't fully or rather don't feel comfortable presenting and passing as a women, i don't feel that 'the man' is all that convincing otherwise. I guess it all comes down to how long someone has known you for and the imprint that they already have in their mind. My mother for example is one source that lets me know that she only sees a man, and indeed the same went for my optician on a recent visit, a man who i have seen for a few years prior to HRT. However, that's balanced by the looks that i get, even when wearing a suit and tie (thinking i look quite masculine) it doesn't stop the slightly puzzled expressions. I actually had to stop to by a tie before an interview and when i asked a member of staff to point me in the direction of the ties she said 'you mean a man's tie?' to which i thought well i;m in a suit, without a tie, and i didn't even know women had ties?. The guy serving at the counter looked uncomfortable. So yeah different perceptions of me on the same day, BUT at my interview with my recruitment agent, she was absolutely lovely, massive help and very supportive of my applications. I didn't get the impression that my slightly androgynous appearance would bias her job or the interview process.

I find tying my hair back, letting my eyebrows grow out helps. Facial hair just looks so fricking odd now with the changes in skin texture, so maybe avoid growing that out as well.

I think the same as you do castle of glass. She does have an androgyne look, but it does lean over to the "female"-side.

Quote from: learningtolive on March 16, 2014, 02:17:44 PMCut my hair!?  Oh god that would be like the death of me, lol. 

Which is the point. You want to temporarily "kill" some of the feminization you've achived and be "Serious Professional Guy" for a while right?  Just an idea.

Quote from: JamesG on March 16, 2014, 03:14:06 PM
Which is the point. You want to temporarily "kill" some of the feminization you've achived and be "Serious Professional Guy" for a while right?  Just an idea.

"A girl's hair is her body". Or at least so I've heard...
(Ranma ½-reference for those that didn't get it)

Quote from: learningtolive on March 16, 2014, 02:17:44 PM
Yeah, that's sort of how I see myself oddly enough.  Like I'm a bit in-between and andro.  It's just that the way people tend to perceive and view me suggests that many are on to me.  Not that I pass as female, but that I don't pass as either and that's a clue to what's going on.   I guess I'm just tired of feeling self conscious about what everyone else thinks and feeling upset that everyone knows.  But like it or not, it does matter.   It just does.  Especially since I'm still in the middle of my transition and not ready to go full time (both physically and mentally) and still need to secure long term work.

Well, the thing is, how you think you look to other people, and how you think they think you look, isn't based a whole lot on how you actually look. The more we try to hide something, the more we think everyone automatically knows what we're hiding. Nothing to do with what we actually don't want them to know, but because we question our own ability to not express ourselves the way we want to. Or guilt at having to hide something. It's like... hmm, have you ever read the short story "The Tell-Tale Heart" By Edgar Allan Poe? About the guy who murders someone and is convinced he can hear the heart beating from under the floorboards where he hid all the... bits, so everyone else must be able to hear it too?

Most of the time, it's a projection, sweetie. It's your mind projecting the feelings of "Well if it were me, I'd be able to tell something was up, so they must be able to as well." Whether or not they can is usually unimportant. We all are very guilty of putting our own feelings in other people's minds, and attributing them to the other person, even if they're not there. It's a case of assuming everyone is as hypersensitive about us as we are about ourselves.

The way to get past it is to have confidence in however you're choosing to present. Then it will lessen the feelings you project onto others and read as their own. I know that's a really easy thing to say and a much harder thing to do. But I guess it comes down to owning yourself in whichever way you're presenting at the time, you know? If you want to present male, see it as a role. And play it in the best way you can. The thing people pick up on far more than the way someone looks, is the way they act. Body language and how you carry yourself makes up a much higher percentage of what someone else thinks than how you look. Learn to control that, and you get the keys to the kingdom, as it were.

LTL I'm sorry to tell you this but you are at the very awkward part of transition, you may get gendered male and 5 minutes later gendered female.

I think you can pass a a boy in the pic you posted...not saying you look entirely like one but in situations where you need to you should be able too but with some strange looks from others. With anyone that knows you somewhat personally they may see something different but there brain will only see a guy. Even if you are presenting female....get ready for some of these types. For others its one or two quick markers that will give them their impression.

In my andro stage I was gawd awful ugly, but I was getting gendered female more then male....and mostly at the wrong times when not expecting it. Sometimes it was someone in a checkout lane behind me referring to me as she, sometimes at one of my children's school functions. Many of these instances I looked pretty shabby I wasn't shaved many times or was covered in paint and grime....and if I did try to look a little more feminine I probably looked like a poorly dressed CD.

I know exactly how you feel when trying to seek employment at this stage. I know of one job I didn't get because the interviewer thought I was the girl that had the next appointment but just showed up early. I was looking nothing like a woman, the only thing was that my hair was longer. I had on slacks, dress shirt (I think a tie), dress shoes and a mans wool coat. After she realized her mistake I felt as if I was doing something wrong....like it was my fault.

I think this is the kind of stuff you are fearing, and I'm not going to tell you it doesn't happen. But even if these people are not treating you in an unfair discriminating way....they still may be befuddled enough to pass you by....especially when there are many other candidates. I think this is why it may be better to move things along faster, like name change. This doesn't mean you have to go fulltime, but at least you could present the correct gender at interviews.

This still will not solve all matters. Even if your name and gender are legally changed there is still your past that will come up. At least though this can be explained further in the interview process, and not in the initial one where first impressions are very important. I still have problems finding employment even though my legal gender is female and my legal name is Shelly ****...mostly because so much background information is found out ahead of time...even though employers are not allowed to do background checks they can do much preliminary research to find out more about you. I think this is one reason I don't even get initial interviews.

All in all though I feel my chances are better than if they thought a women showed up for what was suppose to be a man.....like I said this can throw off even the most caring compassionate person.

I do have many many weird instances that happened during this stage. Most I can laugh about now....but when they were happening I either didn't realize it until further into the situation or it was at very awkward situations.

Quote from: castle of glass on March 16, 2014, 03:10:06 PM
.... I too think that whilst i can't fully or rather don't feel comfortable presenting and passing as a women, i don't feel that 'the man' is all that convincing otherwise. I guess it all comes down to how long someone has known you for and the imprint that they already have in their mind. My mother for example is one source that lets me know that she only sees a man, and indeed the same went for my optician on a recent visit, a man who i have seen for a few years prior to HRT.... However, that's balanced by the looks that i get, even when wearing a suit and tie (thinking i look quite masculine) it doesn't stop the slightly puzzled expressions. I actually had to stop to by a tie before an interview and when i asked a member of staff to point me in the direction of the ties she said 'you mean a man's tie?' to which i thought well i;m in a suit, without a tie, and i didn't even know women had ties?. The guy serving at the counter looked uncomfortable.... ..

This is very true!! I can finally say that almost everybody I knew in the past either walk right by me or wouldn't even know who I am if I spoke to them. I wrote previously about a past good friend of mine.....but in my situation I isolated myself quite a bit in the 1 1/2 years of pre transition and then when presenting more of an andro look I still wasn't that out and about.

but....you will have those people that it will take years to see something or worse yet to completely understand. I recently had my sister, who has accepted and supported me so well, refer to me as him in a conversation with another women. 2 years ago I would of been embarrassed and kind of just shrugged it off....this time I took it very hard and it hurt a lot!! I wasn't because I felt awkward...the other women just kind of looked around for a "him"....but more so I thought I was past that stage of having to correct her or even that she had accepted me as the women I am....I guess I was wrong. I do know this takes time but I'm past the point of correcting those who are the closest....it doesn't help anyways...they just get upset knowing it was a mistake and that I shouldn't be so sensitive! Oh well!

Oh and the situation you had with the suit on....I know why they asked what they did! Doesn't make the situation any better or make you feel better....but there definitely is some marker telling them your female!

Quote from: castle of glass on March 16, 2014, 03:10:06 PM
I posted a lot ealier in the thread, but quickly deleted it. I felt bad because i didn't want to be the only person saying that you do look androgynous in those photos - heavily leaning female. I've been trying to shut up and not swim against the tide much recently like Seph i suppose.

Anyhow, i can very much relate to a lot of what you wrote. I too think that whilst i can't fully or rather don't feel comfortable presenting and passing as a women, i don't feel that 'the man' is all that convincing otherwise. I guess it all comes down to how long someone has known you for and the imprint that they already have in their mind. My mother for example is one source that lets me know that she only sees a man, and indeed the same went for my optician on a recent visit, a man who i have seen for a few years prior to HRT. However, that's balanced by the looks that i get, even when wearing a suit and tie (thinking i look quite masculine) it doesn't stop the slightly puzzled expressions. I actually had to stop to by a tie before an interview and when i asked a member of staff to point me in the direction of the ties she said 'you mean a man's tie?' to which i thought well i;m in a suit, without a tie, and i didn't even know women had ties?. The guy serving at the counter looked uncomfortable. So yeah different perceptions of me on the same day, BUT at my interview with my recruitment agent, she was absolutely lovely, massive help and very supportive of my applications. I didn't get the impression that my slightly androgynous appearance would bias her job or the interview process.

I find tying my hair back, letting my eyebrows grow out helps. Facial hair just looks so fricking odd now with the changes in skin texture, so maybe avoid growing that out as well.

Don't feel bad.  I feel the same way about myself.  But yeah it's weird when you're still in between.  It just draws so much attention that I'm not looking for. 

Quote from: kathyk on March 16, 2014, 03:07:24 PM
LTL:

I've never seen a photo of you until now, and let me first say that you're going to be a very pretty young lady. 

But as far as being in a male persona I wouldn't worry right now.  They've done specific studies about voice and gesture interpretation.  And a large part of everyone's perception of us depends on our voice, and the way we act.  A boisterous male voice and male attitude do a lot to sway what others think as long as you don't show any concern about what they are seeing in your appearance.  I won't direct you to any individual Youtube video, but look at one or two voice feminization videos and listen to the differences in Male and Female voices with your eyes shut, then with them open.  What you hear and see are tightly bound in your mind, and one can greatly effect the other.  This is especially true about an individuals voice, pitch and timbre, and how that effects what you see in a persons face.



By the way, one of my cousins has a very effeminate looking and acting son who we all are sure is gay or trans.  But, he acts entirely male when he's in public and no one even questions his orientation or identity (excepting all his relatives).  So acting the part and using a male voice and gestures solves his problems, and it should do the same for you.

In short, only worry about the way you speak or act, and you can let the rest take care of itself.  And the full time thing wait for later if it must.  You'll be fine.   

PS. I want laser voice surgery very soon after SRS so I don't need to control a voice that is nearly always out of control.  To wit, the old voice can get burned away forever.

Quote from: Sephirah on March 16, 2014, 03:26:42 PM
Well, the thing is, how you think you look to other people, and how you think they think you look, isn't based a whole lot on how you actually look. The more we try to hide something, the more we think everyone automatically knows what we're hiding. Nothing to do with what we actually don't want them to know, but because we question our own ability to not express ourselves the way we want to. Or guilt at having to hide something. It's like... hmm, have you ever read the short story "The Tell-Tale Heart" By Edgar Allan Poe? About the guy who murders someone and is convinced he can hear the heart beating from under the floorboards where he hid all the... bits, so everyone else must be able to hear it too?

Most of the time, it's a projection, sweetie. It's your mind projecting the feelings of "Well if it were me, I'd be able to tell something was up, so they must be able to as well." Whether or not they can is usually unimportant. We all are very guilty of putting our own feelings in other people's minds, and attributing them to the other person, even if they're not there. It's a case of assuming everyone is as hypersensitive about us as we are about ourselves.

The way to get past it is to have confidence in however you're choosing to present. Then it will lessen the feelings you project onto others and read as their own. I know that's a really easy thing to say and a much harder thing to do. But I guess it comes down to owning yourself in whichever way you're presenting at the time, you know? If you want to present male, see it as a role. And play it in the best way you can. The thing people pick up on far more than the way someone looks, is the way they act. Body language and how you carry yourself makes up a much higher percentage of what someone else thinks than how you look. Learn to control that, and you get the keys to the kingdom, as it were.

Yeah, I get that other things play a role in how one interprets people, but honestly I don't have a masculine demeanor.  I'm not saying my voice or mannerisms are like a woman's, but they do deviate from a typical straight guy in many ways.  I guess I don't know how to be anything other than myself nor do I care to even try.  I like me and am comfortable with how I act or behave.  Sure I want to change how I look and need much more practice on my voice, but the idea of pretending to be a typical guy is very uncomfortable to me.  Whenever I tried, I just felt like a robot and hated living.  Like every movement was thought in advance and needed to be controlled.  I'm much more comfortable expressing myself as I am.  It's just that tends to attract attention along with my appearance and sometimes that makes me feel awkward.  Like I'm not ready for everyone to know that I'm trans, but hell I'm not doing anything to hide it at all.  I don't know what people see, but I do know I'm not really passing one way or the other.  Of course that will change in time, but it makes the awkward stage all the more harder.

Quote from: JamesG on March 16, 2014, 03:14:06 PM
Which is the point. You want to temporarily "kill" some of the feminization you've achived and be "Serious Professional Guy" for a while right?  Just an idea.

Actually, I'm not articulating this properly.  It's not that I want to reverse the feminization.  I guess I just want to be able to blend better until I can go full time.  And I want to be able to secure employment as male first and then come out, but I don't want to make any regressive changes to my increasingly feminine appearance either.  Then again, I'm asking to have things both ways and that's not possible. 

Quote from: 930310 on March 16, 2014, 02:40:08 PM
Is that something to feel sorry for? She should feel happy that her transition is going so well and that people read her as female.
And it's also a price to pay with transition. If you want to take hormones to alter your appearance it will happen.
All we can do is be happy for her and that her transition is going well. Then that these situations occur is something that we must live with.
I wish you the best of luck learningtolive!

You're right.  I should be more happy than anything.  In fact, I am.  In many ways things are playing more into my favor day by day.  I guess I'm just over-thinking it because I'm so close to finalizing things, yet I feel so far because of some of the roadblocks (financial, emotional, physical). In any event, this stage won't last forever and even this awkward phase is much better than what life used to be like.  Things are looking up in many ways and people are surprisingly nicer/sweeter even though I feel so awkward and constantly feel clocked.  It's hard to explain. 

Quote from: Just Shelly on March 16, 2014, 03:41:05 PM
LTL I'm sorry to tell you this but you are at the very awkward part of transition, you may get gendered male and 5 minutes later gendered female.

I think you can pass a a boy in the pic you posted...not saying you look entirely like one but in situations where you need to you should be able too but with some strange looks from others. With anyone that knows you somewhat personally they may see something different but there brain will only see a guy. Even if you are presenting female....get ready for some of these types. For others its one or two quick markers that will give them their impression.

In my andro stage I was gawd awful ugly, but I was getting gendered female more then male....and mostly at the wrong times when not expecting it. Sometimes it was someone in a checkout lane behind me referring to me as she, sometimes at one of my children's school functions. Many of these instances I looked pretty shabby I wasn't shaved many times or was covered in paint and grime....and if I did try to look a little more feminine I probably looked like a poorly dressed CD.

I know exactly how you feel when trying to seek employment at this stage. I know of one job I didn't get because the interviewer thought I was the girl that had the next appointment but just showed up early. I was looking nothing like a woman, the only thing was that my hair was longer. I had on slacks, dress shirt (I think a tie), dress shoes and a mans wool coat. After she realized her mistake I felt as if I was doing something wrong....like it was my fault.

I think this is the kind of stuff you are fearing, and I'm not going to tell you it doesn't happen. But even if these people are not treating you in an unfair discriminating way....they still may be befuddled enough to pass you by....especially when there are many other candidates. I think this is why it may be better to move things along faster, like name change. This doesn't mean you have to go fulltime, but at least you could present the correct gender at interviews.

This still will not solve all matters. Even if your name and gender are legally changed there is still your past that will come up. At least though this can be explained further in the interview process, and not in the initial one where first impressions are very important. I still have problems finding employment even though my legal gender is female and my legal name is Shelly ****...mostly because so much background information is found out ahead of time...even though employers are not allowed to do background checks they can do much preliminary research to find out more about you. I think this is one reason I don't even get initial interviews.

All in all though I feel my chances are better than if they thought a women showed up for what was suppose to be a man.....like I said this can throw off even the most caring compassionate person.

I do have many many weird instances that happened during this stage. Most I can laugh about now....but when they were happening I either didn't realize it until further into the situation or it was at very awkward situations.

Exactly.  I see a major difference in how some people view trans people and sometimes it's not for the best.  Like I know I can go into an interview that should have gone well, but my appearance will out me in a second.  How will that employer feel?  Likely not good because we aren't necessarily the most loved minority and we are often ridiculed.  And even if I were to be seen as female instead of trans despite my male history, I do notice that younger women aren't always taking as seriously by men (not saying all guys as there are many great and respectful guys out there).   I'm seeing this now even prior to full time and presenting the right way.  Just by proxy of having a feminine appearance and  mannerisms, some men talk down to me and treat me like a kid.  Either that or they look at me like "what a queer".  Again not all of them are like that nor is that the case in my current work environment in any way, but I'm seeing it happening more with strangers and it's hard to prove yourself in that setting.  I guess I just don't know how to approach the employment situation while in this awkward phase and people are seeing me differently.  And it's happening because I'm no longer able to conceal the fact that I'm transitioning.  Perhaps I just need to learn to adapt to changing social perceptions?  I just want some guaranteed financial stability and then I'll be set.  The other stuff can be taken on with time and experience. 

I know I'm not making much sense.  I'm just feeling a lot of things all at once and getting it out. 

Just own that space. I mean regardless of what gender people see you as, be confident in you. It's the only way i can cope atm i suppose. I think someone actually called me a ->-bleeped-<- to his friend on the tube platform, whilst i was in my most masculine garb (aka suit and tie) and i was like and what? Heck i even try and make concessions for these people, trying to make them feel more comfortable and at ease by broadcasting through deliberate acting that they should view me as male. Sometimes i wonder if they think i am FtM. Can't satisfy everyone though, and at the end of the day if you look androgynous or you fear people see you as trans, the best thing to do, especially in an interview scenario is to be comfortable in your own presentation, regardless of what they make think of it. Above all else they want to hire someone who is competent and capable of doing the job well.

Quote from: castle of glass on March 16, 2014, 05:29:33 PM
Just own that space. I mean regardless of what gender people see you as, be confident in you. It's the only way i can cope atm i suppose. I think someone actually called me a ->-bleeped-<- to his friend on the tube platform, whilst i was in my most masculine garb (aka suit and tie) and i was like and what? Heck i even try and make concessions for these people, trying to make them feel more comfortable and at ease by broadcasting through deliberate acting that they should view me as male. Sometimes i wonder if they think i am FtM. Can't satisfy everyone though, and at the end of the day if you look androgynous or you fear people see you as trans, the best thing to do, especially in an interview scenario is to be comfortable in your own presentation, regardless of what they make think of it. Above all else they want to hire someone who is competent and capable of doing the job well.

makes a lot of sense

At my age (49 going on 50) ya just don't care too much about what other people think. I go out as me, whether that's gussied up or in sweats, with or without makeup, etc. I've found when you have this attetude and confidence in yourself everybody see's me as just another middle aged lady who may or may not be feeling her best today -depending on how I'm dressed of course.

Quote from: learningtolive on March 16, 2014, 04:50:34 PM
Actually, I'm not articulating this properly.  It's not that I want to reverse the feminization.  I guess I just want to be able to blend better until I can go full time.  And I want to be able to secure employment as male first and then come out, but I don't want to make any regressive changes to my increasingly feminine appearance either.  Then again, I'm asking to have things both ways and that's not possible. 

Naw, you did fine.  I was just presenting a "nu-cler" option that you might not have thought of.

Quote from: learningtolive on March 15, 2014, 12:50:17 PM
Hey everyone,

Sorry to bother everyone with this, but it's something I'm really dying to know and a tad different than my last few threads. ........................ Every single time I walk out of the house or interact with other people, I keep wondering whether they know or suspect something ..........................
P.S.  Sorry for my insanity, but we all have our own individual struggles and you know how much anxiety I get. 

From your posting, along with your picture, I had trouble decieing whether you are MTF or FTM.  I guess that is because your photo looks more FEMALE and that would be how I would first view you.

You could possibly pass as either female or male; however presenting less question when presenting as female.

Quote from: Carrie Liz on March 15, 2014, 01:26:28 PM
If you dress in male clothing and speak like a male, people are going to gender you male, and have no suspicions of transness. If you dressed in female clothing, people would probably gender you female.

I agree with this. To me, I would gender you as male on the street. Not tryng to hurt your feelings, I'm being honest. I mean you're wearing the male uniform...again lol: button down shirt and a tee. There's not makeup, you could use your brows thinned some, but if you tried to present as female I think you would pass. I can't be sure until I see you dressed as female. I never think I pass. I think people are constantly saying stuff. But yesterday I met two girls. One asked what the deal with my ex was and if he was my BF. The other just flat our liked me and now wants to be besties. In my head, I'm all, these girls must think I'm a freak. But, in reality, they thought of me as female and never questioned it. And we had long coversations and these girls were not the type to hold things back. They were tough chicks. I'm from Philly, so there's a lot of that here. Just like the other day I ws walking to get something from the Chinese store, and there were like 10 drunk corner boys in there (a corner boy is someone who sells drugs, I live(d) in a rough area and I'm like F++k, Fu*k, F^Ck. But, yet I walk in, and the guy who was in line was all " You go first baby, I don't mind waiting." There was no laughing or whispering and these people would prolly love to kill a trannsexual, but instead the guy was basically hitting on me and I kinda ran out with a "bye, thanks so much for letting me go first."

I had a point. Oh yeah, it's all about presentation. Sorry, I know people love to say confidence but if you look like a female, talk like a female, walk and act like a female, just because you're so self-conscious doesn't get ya read as trans. if that were the case, most cis girls would be read as trans. Why? Because society places unobtainable pedestals of prettiness that no one can live up to, sans Kate Upton. So many women are self-conscious and lack confidence. And when they are confident, you get read as a Biotch. I know, cause I get called that a lot if I speak my mind...

I understand your money woes, but save all of it and move out. Now. it sounds like this is a temp job and then you're going to go for another job as male. And dress male? Where will it end? There has to be a point where you say, enough is enough, I'm going to be myself. Being trans isn't as big as a deal as everyone makes it out to be on this board vis a vis other people. It is a big deal but your average person couldn't care less and the more authentic you are, the better people like you cause people like people who have the courage to be themselves.

I hope I wasn't to harsh, ya know I love you, but sooner or later your going to have to take that leap. No time like the present or asap. You can go out on weekends right? Why not pack a bag of female clothes and change at the train station and hop on the LIRR or whatever it's called up the in LI

I'm kind of in the same situation as you also waiting for the right time and hesitating to go full time. Questioning if I'm able to pass as a woman. Wondering if people start to notice and sometimes imagining things when they stare. I'm also waiting to get a job first because I think it will be harder afterwards. I also have an androgynous look and the long hair might confuse some people but I think how you present yourself and how you dress will decide how people will perceive you as either male or female.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on March 17, 2014, 12:42:28 PMAnd when they are confident, you get read as a Biotch. I know, cause I get called that a lot if I speak my mind...

I thought that was a compliment in Phily?   

You do make a good point. A picture says a thousand words, but its just a still image.  Someone's persona (and gender) is the sum of both how they look, posture, mannerisms, and what they say. 

And then you also have to account for human decency. Even if someone does read you as female and outs you. If you tell them that you want to be read as male most people will have a understanding for this.
This depends on where you live and some areas are more "backwards" than others.

That's amazing that those pictures are of your male presentation!!!  I actually think you look far more female than male in your male presentation, and the only time i would question that is if you were dressed in male attire. 

I think too that the more you practice at it by going places the easier it gets