Wow Shan, I had no idea you were so talented! Lol and I love how you're just like "yeah I just threw this thing together so I could rest, no biggie."

My brother continues to get mistaken for a woman on the phone. He says "I have to change my phone voice...no one will serve me!!" I wonder if anyone thinks he is a pre transition ftm. Most people seem to think he is a woman trying to scam LOL.

50 shades of I can't do this right now. Ugh. Everything just needs to put itself back together and I need to get some sleep!

Today, I found out that the straight guy I fancy doesn't think it's creepy if I flirt a bit with him. I still think he would if he found out I actually mean it though.

Quote from: Edge on April 29, 2014, 04:58:46 PM
Today, I found out that the straight guy I fancy doesn't think it's creepy if I flirt a bit with him. I still think he would if he found out I actually mean it though.

I don't think so!

I wonder if there's a connection between restlessness and sadism.
I also am wondering if there is any possible way I can get my friend to like me while at the same time wondering why I am thinking this since it's creepy and wrong. Although my current mood leans more toward creepy and wrong than usual (which is saying something since I always lean this way), so that might be why I don't feel any guilt at the moment.
I am also wondering if he is getting sick of talking to me since I've been talking to him a lot lately.
I am very restless. Restless, restless, ressstlesssssss.

Quote from: Edge on April 29, 2014, 08:34:35 PM
I wonder if there's a connection between restlessness and sadism.
I also am wondering if there is any possible way I can get my friend to like me while at the same time wondering why I am thinking this since it's creepy and wrong. Although my current mood leans more toward creepy and wrong than usual (which is saying something since I always lean this way), so that might be why I don't feel any guilt at the moment.
I am also wondering if he is getting sick of talking to me since I've been talking to him a lot lately.
I am very restless. Restless, restless, ressstlesssssss.

You are such an interesting individual Victor, there is nothing creepy and wrong about being a human being, not now - not ever!

Quote from: Shantel on April 29, 2014, 08:57:34 PM
You are such an interesting individual Victor, there is nothing creepy and wrong about being a human being, not now - not ever!

You might say something different if you knew what kinds of thoughts have been going through my head. I am aware of what kind of person I am.

So. Hungry.

My wife isn't coming home for at least two hours and I'm dying over here.   Should I just make dinner already and eat or have another fattening snack?

I love my little nephew so much. I hope he grows into a big strong, manly man that I always wanted to be.  I always tell him that he's going to be a big strong manly man.  Even though I joke around and tell him that he's not allowed to marry a girl, I  really do hope he finds a nice wife and gets married.  I kind of of live my life through him because he's the happy little boy I always wanted to be. However if he turns out to be completely opposite of my dream, that won't change the love I have for him. Granted, he isn't even my son, and I feel this way.  I can only imagine how it is for some parents when their child isn't what they wanted them to be.  My dad wanted me to be a nurse that's married to a man and my mother I'm sure wanted me to be married to a man and have kids as well.  Yeah, not going to happen.  I wonder if they are going to have less love for me and/or not want anything to do with me when I do transition since I didn't quite fit their mold. 

On a side note, my nephew wore a bracelet one time and I told him it was gorgeous on him.  His mom told me to stop saying that because she didn't want him to be "confused".  If my nephew happens to be gay or transgender when he grows up, I hope he can feel safe enough to come to me for support.  Heck if he's an adult by then, he can live with me.  For the sake of convenience though, I really hope he doesn't have to go down either of those roads.  Things are getting better for us, but I would MUCH rather be a straight cis guy than anything else, since that's less discrimination I'd have to put up with.  I really love my nephew and just don't want him to go through all of that, but if he does, I will support him nevertheless.

I finally got round to watching the new RoboCop movie last night... and it occurred to me that despite the fact that Murphy loses pretty much all of his organic body, nobody has any doubts about his masculinity. His manhood - his personhood - isn't defined by a particular set of body parts. Stripped of every physical attribute that would make him a man - apart from the most important one, his brain - he is still automatically accepted as male.

There was a big difference in atmosphere between this movie and the original ones. In the originals, it seemed somewhat 'freaky' to have artificial body parts attached to yourself and Murphy had trouble accepting this all the way through the movie. In the new movie, prosthetics are a normal part of life for many people, so the extension to a full cyborg body is more of a small step than the giant leap it was in the originals, and Murphy seems to have fully embraced his new status by the end of the movie.

No doubt this change in atmosphere is due to some of the movies we've had in the intervening years (such as I, Robot), but I believe it's also probably due to the real-world improvements in prosthetic technology: for example, we're used to seeing people run on blades at the Special Olympics so it no longer seems strange.

I found it quite encouraging.

Trying to figure out how to write this cover letter. Really don't know what to say other than I like shoes, need a summer job, and I read on the Eastwood Town Centre website that DSW was hiring.

Oh yeah, I can feel the weather changes again -_-

Why is it that I am able to see other people's problems much more clearly and rationally than my own?  Like I can sit and think of a response to somebody else's post that may be something that I struggle with myself.  As though I can possibly envision a potential solution for them, yet I have absolutely none for myself.  Maybe I do have the answers for me, but I'm too scared to do anything about it and make an attempt at change. It's bizarre when I think about it.  Maybe I should start pretending I'm somebody else when I think about my problems so I can be more truthful and honest with myself.  Leaving all the emotional like fear and everything else.  Honestly, it all seems so much clearer when I do that.   

Quote from: Jill F on April 29, 2014, 11:01:57 AM
Two hours of electro torture today.

When will it ever end?

I would trade your two hours of electro over the 45 minutes (I'm guessing) that I spent in the MRI machine today. I friggin hate being in those things. I'm not claustrophobic, it's just creepy as hell. I tolerated it slightly better than the other times I've been in one over the last couple of years, but it still sucked. Insomnia may have actually helped me in this case. Plus, I did my best to let my mind wander and also concentrate on the "rhythms" of the noises that the machine was making. (Which were still loud as hell, even if I was wearing the earplugs they supplied me with.)

When I have to do an MRI I close my eyes and pretend I'm an astronaut going on a space mission 

Quote from: Laura Squirrel on April 30, 2014, 04:25:44 PMI would trade your two hours of electro over the 45 minutes (I'm guessing) that I spent in the MRI machine today. I friggin hate being in those things. I'm not claustrophobic, it's just creepy as hell. I tolerated it slightly better than the other times I've been in one over the last couple of years, but it still sucked. Insomnia may have actually helped me in this case. Plus, I did my best to let my mind wander and also concentrate on the "rhythms" of the noises that the machine was making. (Which were still loud as hell, even if I was wearing the earplugs they supplied me with.)

I wish I could remember the sounds that it made when I had one done, I remember that it could have made some awesome EDM.

Quote from: V M on April 30, 2014, 05:01:14 PM
When I have to do an MRI I close my eyes and pretend I'm an astronaut going on a space mission 

I always have my eyes shut when I am in one of those things. The thing that sucks is that after two years and multiple MRI's, all I know is: 1. The VP shunt in my head is broken and has been for some time. (We already figured this out). 2. They have no idea how it happened. 3. The only thing that has worked in the long term is being on a pair of medications that I have been taking for several months now.

I guess I will have to stay on them for the rest of my life. As long as I have insurance. I'm okay. If I lose it and have to pay out of pocket, I'm completely screwed since one of them is at least $300 out of pocket. That is for the generic version of that drug and at the next to lowest dosage level available.

i'm thinking what to have for breakkie while dilating in bed right now 

I'm wondering why I feel worse after having a nap.

Quote from: Edge on April 30, 2014, 06:09:28 PM
I'm wondering why I feel worse after having a nap.

maybe you need coffee