My answer? "It's a damn sight better than being dead."

Quote from: VeryGnawty on May 01, 2014, 01:15:48 AM
In fact, if you follow the non-logic to its ultimate conclusion, everyone should commit suicide at age 50 because it is not worth doing anything past age 50.  That's basically what someone is implying when they ask that question.  The question is favoring compared doing an activity at a young age versus an old age while completely ignoring the consequences of not doing the activity at all.

Yes. Well said. I completely agree with you.

barbie~~

Or, to ask in another way as my wife does; "Who in their right mind Wants to be a 56 y/o woman?"

1) I am not in my right mind. I am an emotional cripple
2) I spent 56 years doing the alternative. Ain't workin
3) The times I feel most alive, most passionate, most joyous, and especially most content being me, are when I am being true to myself, being out in the real world as the real me
4) I am tired of living behind this Hollywood facade of a man I needed to create to get by in this life. It has made me feel that I am a faker, a liar, a cheeter. Therefore, nothing I have I earned is deserved, much less belongs to me. THe only things I deserved and earned in life are the punishments, the disasters, the wreckage I have made of my life as I leave the wake of human wreckage behind in the form of ruined lives of others.

I do have plenty of reasons "Why Not", starting with my wife, the promises and obligations I feel I need to live up to. A career that also very much defines my sense of self that I know will be a major emotional hit if I loose that. I constantly debate "The Cost"

There is no debating, no doubts, including my wife's opinion, that as I am traveling down this road I am becoming a far far better, self actualized, complete and happier person.

My biggest "Why?"
To feel genuine

This topic has been an eye opener. There is so much focus on transitioning as early as possible. And just an assumption that earlier is better. I'm not really sure where that comes from. I mean, I suppose physically, there may be benefits to transitioning younger. And the younger you do it, the more time you have in your proper gender (theoretically; you never know how long you've got).

But while there are benefits to early transition, there are also some to later transitions.

We're a culture where we expect everyone to do everything at a young age. Even if you take up a new hobby or sport and you're not like 14 or something, people look at you weird. Or your new career. People act like life is for the young and past a certain age you must already have tried everything you wanted to try, done everything you wanted to do. I'm only starting to see that isn't true.

Quote from: FA on May 01, 2014, 09:10:30 AM
This topic has been an eye opener. There is so much focus on transitioning as early as possible. And just an assumption that earlier is better. I'm not really sure where that comes from. I mean, I suppose physically, there may be benefits to transitioning younger. And the younger you do it, the more time you have in your proper gender (theoretically; you never know how long you've got).

But while there are benefits to early transition, there are also some to later transitions.

We're a culture where we expect everyone to do everything at a young age. Even if you take up a new hobby or sport and you're not like 14 or something, people look at you weird. Or your new career. People act like life is for the young and past a certain age you must already have tried everything you wanted to try, done everything you wanted to do. I'm only starting to see that isn't true.

Agreed FA.

Reading everyone's responses continues to be both moving and inspiring. I hope people will continue to contribute and comment. It's certainly helping me feel more empowered in my continuing this journey. 

Quote from: Arch on May 01, 2014, 01:54:00 AM

Indeed!  I've spent many a night planning my way out.

@JoanneB-"to feel genuine"- that's perfect!

Quote from: Satinjoy on April 30, 2014, 03:54:15 PM


Every time I fight against my body and my transition I get close to a nervous breakdown.

It isn't worth it to fight who you are.

1 year HRT here and started at 55.  Get the best therapist you can buy.

Why after 50? 

There are so many of us here that started late.  Why not indeed.  But you will need help dear this is far too much to handle by yourself, and with help you can preserve some or all of what you fear losing, if you handle it with an experienced therapist.  Dysphoria is blinding.  It takes a while to see clearly after being dazzled by the light.    And how clearly you will see, how restored can you become, if you walk the paths of acceptance.  Just be careful it is a hard thing for our loved ones, most of my therapy has been about them.

My answer? "It's a damn sight better than being dead."

This also really helped me. I've been googling dysphoria.  There is a subtle flavor to dysphoria. One that I've gotten used to over all these decades. The "older" I've become that more willing I've become to sacrifice my true self for the sake of keeping relationships. 

Dysphoria is more than the blatant "I'm a man in a woman's body or visa versa". It has subtleties that affect every aspect of existence. I always knew I was uncomfortable in my birth gender but I never insisted to people that I was born the wrong gender.  Because there was such an insistence on binary gender and a shaming of any expression other than that I internalized such a deep sense of shame that transitioning is unleashing all the emotions I kept suppressed.

I think today's society, though still hung up on binary gender, has loosened it's grip a tad on how narrowly it's defined.

Because I don't see the shame as well as other tougher emotions discussed amongst people who are transitioning I started to doubt whether this was the correct path for me. 

However, reading this thread has been heart warming and inspiring.

A few thoughts...

Just because I started HRT last October at 51, I was working on this for a long time before that so it doesn't seem like "I'm starting this at age 51".  Doesn't feel like I have just started.

Why?  I ask myself this a lot.  Why not usually quickly follows.  I intend to live forever so this isn't too late!  My daughter says I am the youngest in the family - 5 or something so maybe this is a big refresh.

Joking aside, we all live much longer these days, so people need to get over the ageist view of what old is. The question seems to be based in a view that we do not have any value as we age and that there is no point to change.  How confining is that?  If you stop changing and growing, then thats when I think you are old in the sense the decline begins. 

Transitioning?  Maybe this is a bit bigger than taking up a new hobby, but my God, it is so emotionally liberating after being locked down for so long. 

Who wouldn't you want to do this regardless of age?

Why do it? Which of these two look happier and full of life? Below or the avatar? Jeez I am so glad I transitioned!
I started at 47 by the way and feel 20 years younger!

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on May 02, 2014, 09:16:17 PM
Why do it? Which of these two look happier and full of life? Below or the avatar? Jeez I am so glad I transitioned!
I started at 47 by the way and feel 20 years younger!

amazing transition !! Gorgeous lady you are now , from your avatar

Quote from: DianaVV on May 02, 2014, 09:32:38 PM
amazing transition !! Gorgeous lady you are now , from your avatar

Thank you very much! Not hard when you are resurrected from the walking dead.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on May 02, 2014, 09:16:17 PM
Why do it? Which of these two look happier and full of life? Below or the avatar? Jeez I am so glad I transitioned!
I started at 47 by the way and feel 20 years younger!

omg. I would never have guess that was the same person as your pic in your avatar (it's really not but you know what I mean). I think you are beautiful and agree you look 20 years younger (more like 30 actually).  That is simply an amazing (and inspiring) transformation. 

Quote from: TRyan on May 02, 2014, 10:03:54 PM
omg. I would never have guess that was the same person as your pic in your avatar (it's really not but you know what I mean). I think you are beautiful and agree you look 20 years younger (more like 30 actually).  That is simply an amazing (and inspiring) transformation.

Thanks! It never is too late to transition. I just could not be miserable and empty one more day. It sounds hard and can be a tough road, but the end result is well worth the effort. NEVER think there is a time limit or let others dictate to you it cant be done. There are many women here who transitioned older than me and they look great, but what's best is they FEEL great inside to their heart and soul.

What a silly question. It speaks to the absurdly overblown value placed on youth and on sexuality in this society.  "Youthful looks" are the ideal, and that's just wrong-headed. I look at young people -- under 25, maybe under thirty -- sometimes, and they all look alike to me. They don't even have faces yet. There can be so much beauty in a face that reflects the experience and the struggles of the person wearing it.

Quote from: justpatI can say without a doubt it was the best thing I ever did in my life, I feel wonderful and have an inner peace and tranquility that I had never achieved before in my life. I love hrt it has given me back my life.

This. I've started my transition at 60-ish. and I'm becoming the person I want to be, not just physically, but in relation to other people: I'm more open, warmer, less depressed and angry, more emotionally accessible, and (my partner and friends tell me) a lot nicer to be around. To put it bluntly: owning my gender identity and deciding to transition to male probably saved my life -- things were that bad.

Quote from: Tysilio on May 02, 2014, 11:16:47 PM
What a silly question. It speaks to the absurdly overblown value placed on youth and on sexuality in this society.  "Youthful looks" are the ideal, and that's just wrong-headed. I look at young people -- under 25, maybe under thirty -- sometimes, and they all look alike to me. They don't even have faces yet. There can be so much beauty in a face that reflects the experience and the struggles of the person wearing it.This. I've started my transition at 60-ish. and I'm becoming the person I want to be, not just physically, but in relation to other people: I'm more open, warmer, less depressed and angry, more emotionally accessible, and (my partner and friends tell me) a lot nicer to be around. To put it bluntly: owning my gender identity and deciding to transition to male probably saved my life -- things were that bad.

I agree it was a silly question but one worth considering and posing here. The person who asked me the question is trans herself (and over 50) so I was caught off guard.

I think there are a lot of people over 50 who think it's not worth it to go through potential loss. Hopefully they will find their way to this thread. I find it quite hopeful and have been moved and inspired by people's answers. 

I think it's great that you are starting transitioning at 60-ish (and inspiring). 

I agree with your comment that there can be so much beauty in a face that reflects experience......

I'm having some positive emotional experiences as well since starting hormones. I'm only 12 weeks in and on half the dose to start off with.