Just came across this interesting thread which seems to have petered out a few weeks ago. First thing I noted was how civil it remained in spite of the passions this subject rather strangely tends to release.
Anyway as a very pragmatic late transitioner (amazing how pragmatic we tend to become about everything with age..
) I'm yet another one of those who comes down on the side of personal choice ie. you do GRS if you feel the need to do it and have the means to follow through, you don't do it if you can't answer yes to both of the preceeding conditions. GRS does not define your female identity but may provide a more comfortable existance living openly with that identity, especially if you are into guys. (Nota: I'm not and am very happily married with a woman who accepts me as I am)
I'm also one of those who believes GRS is about the very last step to undertake in a transition, when you are absolutely sure that you are comfortable with your life as a woman ie. after a successful social transition.
The major steps in my own transition by order were, HRT, FFS , fulltime in my private life, full time in all dimensions of my life, all of that over a period of almost 5 years. Until I had transitioned socially, I hardly gave a thought to GRS, my priority of priorities was succeeding the social transition. However, now that I am living full time with a Civil Identity Change procedure going through the French legal system (still very complex with no certainty about the outcome unless you have done GRS), the subject has become far more important.
The catalyst for a big change in my own needs was filing for my Civil Identity Change which goes far beyond a name change. Assuming it comes through, every official document which concerns me from my birth certificate through to my mariage licence, social security card, passport etc.. wil be changed with an F replacing the M. Thinking about that, I just didn't see myself living out the rest of my life, legally a woman, with such a visible vestige of my former life still hanging around (excuse the pun
)
There are also simple practical issues like being able to undress in public, not having to tuck, being able to wear absolutely any sorts of clothes I want etc.. and closely associated with this, some esthetic issues... I far prefer the appearance of a female crotch to a male crotch.
Lastly, as my Civil Identity Change has still not been processed almost 8 months since I made the filing and I really need to get this sorted out, doing GRS should remain any possible obstacle to getting a favorable decision.
These were all the reasons for doing GRS, counter balanced until recently by a whole series of obstacles, most important of which were getting the necessary time off from work and my fear of the surgery itself, especially coming quite soon after an already heavy schedule of surgery almost every year since 2011
Since I am out of work at the end of July and want to be absolutely certain that my transition is completely over before getting into my next professional activity, the decision to do GRS recently fell like a ripe fruit. It was just obvious that the time had come to get it done and so it will be, this coming August.
I'd like to think that we should all be able to go about GRS in this manner, the need coming from inside rather than outside (while admitting that what comes from inside is nevertheless very often driven from outside..).
Today, to feel fully comfortable living out the rest of my life as a woman, I do feel the need to do GRS but 12 months ago I wouldn't have said the same thing and would certainly have resented being told by anyone that I somehow didn't qualify as TG because of this.
In my eyes, anyone whose gender identity is significantly different to that associated with their biological sex is transgender . How they chose to live out that reality is down to their personal choice and the practical issues they have to deal with in their own unique circomstances.
My 2 c's worth et bon dimanche!
Donna
