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How do you rate your progress in your transition?

Started by Joan, March 17, 2014, 08:17:29 AM

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0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

AnneB

Quote from: Joanna Dark on March 17, 2014, 02:19:02 PM
The other day I was walking around with him and we ran into this trans woman who did not pass and she wanted change or a doller or something and he made me stop and not give her money because he said it's not my job to save the world, you have surgery to save up for, are they going to help you? Who ever helps you and you look like this helpless little frail female. And he was right. It's not my job to help other trans people or anyone for that matter, cause I'm in rough shape financially. I need surgery,. So that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Sorry Joanna, of all your posts which I agree with, this one I do not.  You are not helping another trans, you are helping another human.  If God so loved the World He gave His only Son, you can give change to a person, trans or not.  Do I give money to those that stand on a bridge ramp with a sign?  yes I do.  Not because I ever expect to get anything back, but because it is the loving thing to do.  And I am not in any better financial shape than anyone else. 
  •  

EllieM

Quote from: Paula Christine on April 29, 2014, 02:31:26 PM
Do I give money to those that stand on a bridge ramp with a sign?  yes I do. 


Yeah, me too. Just paying it forward, you know?
  •  

Rainbow Brite


Self-esteem: 25%
This took a hard blow when I lost my apartment and ended up homeless and has not recovered. The discrimination and harassment I went though at my former employer has also taken a toll.

Social adaption: 100%
I pass easily and so I don't really run into any issues. I'm pretty quiet too so people tend to leave me alone.

Self-acceptance: 100%
I accepted myself a long time ago.

Coming out: 100%
My entire family knows about me. Even the keeper of the family tree, my Dad's cousin, has me written down as my Dad's Daughter. Though this is fairly new to them since they only see me online. this last weekend was the first time my Mum had seen me in a skirt and very feminine top. So I think it hit home that her little boy was now a woman.

Hair removal: 1%
My body is practically hairless. However, I have only had one session of laser hair removal. I want more so bad! lol

Voice training: 100%
I am apparently lucky because I don't need to train my voice. It passes naturally. I dont even have a visible adams apple.

Socialisation as female: 100%
"He's Dead Jim!" Old male me is gone and i dont even go back to pretending to be "him".

Hormone changes: 98-100%
It's been 3 years since I started and I am still seeing little changes every now and then. I want B.A. because I have not seen much growth there, I am barely a B-cup.

Hair: 99%
Someone once told me that they were told not to get a bob cut because they are trans. I have one and it suits me and my needs. I would like a lower hairline though.

Wardrobe replacement: 80%
I still have a few of my old clothes because they actually look cool ^_^

Future employment prospects: 100% for now
I'm currently employed as me. But I need to find something closer to home.
  •  

FrancisAnn

I'm sure trying hard to look nicer & more feminine. Plastic surgery for June 10th, face & neck lift & upper eye lid work. Deposit made, total cost 10K.  The surgeon knows I want as feminine a face as possible. He does great work on women's faces. My electro lady is going at my facial hairs each week with a vengence. Saturday is my next visit, she goes strong for 2-3 hours.

More & more friends, I feel more & more normal.

Maybe a 7 or 8 on a scale of 10.


mtF, mid 50's, always a girl since childhood, HRT (Spiro, E & Fin.) since 8-13. Hormone levels are t at 12 & estrogen at 186. Face lift & eye lid surgery in 2014. Abdominoplasty/tummy tuck & some facial surgery May, 2015. Life is good for me. Love long nails & handsome men! Hopeful for my GRS & a nice normal depth vagina maybe by late summer. 5' 8", 180 pounds, 14 dress size, size 9.5 shoes. I'm kind of an elegant woman & like everything pink, nice & neet. Love my nails & classic Revlon Red. Moving back to Florida, so excited but so much work moving
  •  

FrancisAnn

Quote from: Rainbow Brite on April 29, 2014, 03:44:37 PM
Self-esteem: 25%
This took a hard blow when I lost my apartment and ended up homeless and has not recovered. The discrimination and harassment I went though at my former employer has also taken a toll.

Social adaption: 100%
I pass easily and so I don't really run into any issues. I'm pretty quiet too so people tend to leave me alone.

Self-acceptance: 100%
I accepted myself a long time ago.

Coming out: 100%
My entire family knows about me. Even the keeper of the family tree, my Dad's cousin, has me written down as my Dad's Daughter. Though this is fairly new to them since they only see me online. this last weekend was the first time my Mum had seen me in a skirt and very feminine top. So I think it hit home that her little boy was now a woman.

Hair removal: 1%
My body is practically hairless. However, I have only had one session of laser hair removal. I want more so bad! lol

Voice training: 100%
I am apparently lucky because I don't need to train my voice. It passes naturally. I dont even have a visible adams apple.

Socialisation as female: 100%
"He's Dead Jim!" Old male me is gone and i dont even go back to pretending to be "him".

Hormone changes: 98-100%
It's been 3 years since I started and I am still seeing little changes every now and then. I want B.A. because I have not seen much growth there, I am barely a B-cup.

Hair: 99%
Someone once told me that they were told not to get a bob cut because they are trans. I have one and it suits me and my needs. I would like a lower hairline though.

Wardrobe replacement: 80%
I still have a few of my old clothes because they actually look cool ^_^

Future employment prospects: 100% for now
I'm currently employed as me. But I need to find something closer to home.
You look great GF. Good for you.
mtF, mid 50's, always a girl since childhood, HRT (Spiro, E & Fin.) since 8-13. Hormone levels are t at 12 & estrogen at 186. Face lift & eye lid surgery in 2014. Abdominoplasty/tummy tuck & some facial surgery May, 2015. Life is good for me. Love long nails & handsome men! Hopeful for my GRS & a nice normal depth vagina maybe by late summer. 5' 8", 180 pounds, 14 dress size, size 9.5 shoes. I'm kind of an elegant woman & like everything pink, nice & neet. Love my nails & classic Revlon Red. Moving back to Florida, so excited but so much work moving
  •  

Allyda

Quote from: EllieM on April 29, 2014, 03:01:35 PM

Yeah, me too. Just paying it forward, you know?

I confess I too do the same thing. Whatever extra chump change I've leftover in my purse. :icon_flower: I feel in the end Karma will return my generosity. I also enjoy just helping people, and like many here my financial status is not the greatest.
Allyda
Full Time August 2009
HRT Dec 27 2013
VFS [ ? ]
FFS [ ? ]
SRS Spring 2015



  •  

Donna Elvira

Interesting initiative with some very thought provoking questions...and answers

Self-acceptance 100%
As a late transitioner, it took me years to get to this point but today I'd have to say 100%. Going full time removed any lingering doubts as end of the day, that's the only way to really know that you are what you think you are.


Coming out 100%
Everyone who knows me, including, thanks to FB , many people I haven't actually met in years. Some problems with my siblings but otherwise no signficant losses and a lot of very touching support.

Hair removal 98%
Zero body hair just from HRT but still a few stragglers on my face easily removed with a tweezers.  Facial hair removal was 100% electrolysis but 50 hours was enough to do the job. I wasn't too hairly to begin with and already had almost 3 years HRT behind me when I started which may have helped.

Voice training 50%
My natural voice was quite high (I sing tenor), but I've had no proper voice training so I'm still shaky here and will try to do something about it as it is really the only remaining area where I don't feel completely OK, especially on the phone.

Socialization as female 100%
Really very comfortable and I seem to be well accepted by the women I mix with, friends obviously but also my female colleagues at work with whom I socialize more and more, little chats during a coffee break, all female lunches.... I really love this and feel far more comfortable with the girls than I ever did with the guys.

Hormone changes 95% ?
Maybe more to come after GRS scheduled this August but after almost 6 years the last 4 of which have been uninterrupted, I guess I'm close to maximum bang for buck. Most obvious effects: hair loss on body, size A+  breasts, much smoother skin, some fat redistibution with loss around the waist and gains to buttocks and Inside of thighs, muscle loss in arms and shoulders. Last but not least, horribly brittle nails.... >:(   

Hair 90%
I had to do extensive hair implants, Dec 2012. Happily it worked really well but the transplanted hairs are still a little shorter than the others.  However I have progressed enough to no longer ever need a wig and I was officially transferred to the ladies customer listing by my local hairdresser a few months ago. This mostly meant an increase in what I am charged but no complaints, they are really very nice with me with no misgendering since I explained my situation. On the contrary, it was more like "Ooooh..., that explains it! "  :)   
.

Wardrobe replacement 100%
All my male kit is either gone or put aside for my son who is presently in NY.  I now have a wardrobe which seems to make my wife a little jealous at times. However, as I am a lot taller than she is, she can borrow a lot of my stuff while I can only borrow her accessories... ;)

Future employment prospects 75 %
I am 56, amost 57, and was recently told that my present fixed term contract, which was supposed to be transformed into an open ended contract at its term, will not be renewed. This means I will be out of work end July. However there is a reasonable chance that I will continue to get work from my present employers as an external consultant and I have an alternative  business project which I am pretty confident about. Short term, this enforced break provides an opening to do my GRS so all is not gloom and doom. I'm a survivor and I know I'll find a solution to this setback.     
[/quote]

Going through these questions helps me realize just how far I have come as up until summer 2012 when I finished my FFS surgery, I really hadn't a clue if I would be able to see my transition through to the end.  Today, apart from a very unwelcome body part which serves as a reminder that all is not quite finished, I feel more comfortable living as a woman than I ever imagined.
Hugs to all the fellow travellers!
Donna 
  •  

Allyda

Donna you are an inspiration. You look awesome too for 56. At 49 I'm slightly younger but will be a few years older when I have my GRS, and seeing how great you look gives me much hope for my future.

Best of luck with your future endeavors and GRS.

Ally :icon_flower:
Allyda
Full Time August 2009
HRT Dec 27 2013
VFS [ ? ]
FFS [ ? ]
SRS Spring 2015



  •  

Donna Elvira

Quote from: Allyda on April 30, 2014, 07:43:40 PM
Donna you are an inspiration. You look awesome too for 56. At 49 I'm slightly younger but will be a few years older when I have my GRS, and seeing how great you look gives me much hope for my future.

Best of luck with your future endeavors and GRS.

Ally :icon_flower:


Thanks Allyda. My FFS surgeon did a little miracle on my face which was a real show stopper prior to surgery. It sounds like you are coming along very nicely too and I really love the "can do" attitude that comes through in your writing. It seems like you have had more than your share of difficulties, have learned to cope with them and move forward. I find that very inspiring too...
"Bonne continuation et bon courage !" as they say over her.
Hugs
Donna
  •  

Allyda

Thanks Donna for those sweet words of inspiration. Yes, you could say I've been rode hard and put away wet, lol! :icon_censored: But these days I'm all about living for my future. Dwelling on a hurtful past only brings more hurt. And, if I let it it'd consume me so, since I feel 30 years younger thanks to hrt, I'm trying to act 30 years younger too. Maybe I'll squeeze back the clock a little! :eusa_dance:

Hugs to you too :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:

Ally :icon_flower:
Allyda
Full Time August 2009
HRT Dec 27 2013
VFS [ ? ]
FFS [ ? ]
SRS Spring 2015



  •  

Joan

Past four months into HRT now, and I've been feeling like things aren't moving forward much, so I thought it might be time to return to this and see how I'm really doing.  I get a lot of comments about how I've changed, and my face really is starting to approach an in-between stage where I'm neither one thing nor the other.  I was talking to a woman in the library yesterday about summer fashions, and she was saying that it's easier for us women in many ways before she caught herself and said 'I'm talking to you as though you're a woman too'.  This was quite a good moment :)

Anyway, let's see how far things have progressed in the two months since my original post...

Self-acceptance 90% → no change
There are still wt* moments! but I'm very happy with HRT and looking forward to life on the other side of transition.  I've let myself out now pretty much all the time, and students have stopped calling me handsome (in their misguided opinions they used to do that) and started calling me cute.  I wish I could show the world more my true self, but that will have to wait.

Coming out k5% → 30%

Since telling my SO, I've told my 6 closest friends including two I've known for over 30 years.  The women take it completely in the stride, the men are perplexed but on the whole supportive.  It could have been much worse.  I have flights booked to  go back home in September to tell my family.  That is going to be a much harder task.

Hair removal 30% → 40%
For the facial hair it's time to give up on the Tria and seek professional help.  It got thinner for a while, but now it seems to be coming back, and the shadow is the thing that most gets in the way of my passing.

Voice training 5% → 75%
I don't really know how it it happened, but I found my female voice.  One day it just clicked, and in my limited social interactions in shops and restaurants it rarely gets me clocked anymore.  This really makes life much easier.  It generally holds up in longer conversations too, though I do need to build more stamina.

Socialisation as female 20% → ?
I'm not even sure what this means anymore.  I still get out a couple of times a week, for whole days when work commitments allow, and despite a meltdown when out a couple of weeks ago, it is getting easier and I'm beginning to relax.
My SO and my cis girlfriends treat me as a woman.  Guys now push in front of me in queues as if it's their right and I share that look with other women around.

Hormone changes   who knows?
I'm now at 21 weeks of IM estradiol and cycling progesterone.  Without losing much weight my band size is down 5cm and my breasts have gained 12cm and they are now unmistakably breasts.  My waist is down 5cm but my hips have got rounder although their size hasn't changed at all.
My sunken cheeks have filled out a bit and the wrinkles under and around my eyes have repaired themselves a bit. 
I'm pretty happy with this progress.


Hair 20% → 30%
My hair is now long enough to just about make a pony tail.  I still don't have enough hair for a decent fringe.  Hair has grown back at the receding corners, and is slowly advancing from there as the peach fuzz slowly thickens up and begins to grow.  It's going to take a long time for those new hairs to catch up with  the rest, which means wigs for a good while yet, and still possibly for ever.

Wardrobe replacement 50% → 70%
Winter is covered, so I'm getting stuff together for summer now.  The summer wardrobe is hard.  You have to show a lot more of the body and I'm still trying to work out what doesn't emphasise my rather robust shoulders.

Future employment prospects 10%
I want to carry on doing what I do (teach) at a different place in a different city.  I hope someone will hire a rather large middle aged woman to do so.  I won't know if it's going to work until I give it a try, and that won't be until I go full time, which according to my plan is spring 2016.
I don't intend to transition on the job, and this is one of my biggest worries.


So still much to do, but the voice is something to be happy about at least :)
Only a dark cocoon before I get my gorgeous wings and fly away
Only a phase, these dark cafe days
  •  

Allyda

Congratulations! It really sounds to me Joan like your making good progress. The voice is a big one, especially if you've stopped getting Sired over the phone. I can't put into words how much it hurts me knowing I pass everywhere I go despite my voice, but still get Sirred over the phone. I'm getting to the point of ignoring phone calls, and avoiding speaking whenever possible in public even though in public my voice doesn't seem to affect my ability to pass. So if you've mastered your female voice you've crossed a huge hurdle. I'm at 4 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days into my hrt and still can't find mine.

I should probably update my progress too.

Ally :icon_flower:
Allyda
Full Time August 2009
HRT Dec 27 2013
VFS [ ? ]
FFS [ ? ]
SRS Spring 2015



  •  

Alainaluvsu

Self-esteem: 95% I have every reason to feel good about myself and lucky. I'm complemented in a variety of ways and loved very consistently. I wish my nose was different and other things, but not to the point where it drops my self-esteem too much. Some days are worse than others but overall, I'm very confident. If I'm wearing a light amount of concealer, whether I pass or not does not even cross my mind. I just assume I do. I've even gone into a transgender support meeting and people were shocked when I told them I'm transsexual.

Social adaption: 100% Nobody questions if I'm female or male. Nobody finds me weird, either. The family I've always cared about accept me 100% and have no problem going out in public with me.

Self-acceptance: 30%  TRIGGER WARNING I hate being transsexual. It absolutely sucks. I don't really ever show it, but it hurts. SRS would help but it's not going to be a cure all to the situation. I can see myself committing suicide when my mother and cat are gone. I've missed a lot in life by living as a male for so long, and nobody can deny that there's much less self-hatred if you do not have to analyze core, genetic traits so crucial as gender.

Coming out: 100% The only coming out I do is telling people I'm transgender (as in, I USED to be male...), which is pretty rare.

Hair removal: 60% Laser has gotten everything down to manageable / hide-able levels, but quite a bit remains.

Voice training: 100% On my first attempt, I pulled into a drive-thru one day and tried out my female voice. I was ma'amed, and when I pulled up to the window the worker was obviously embarrassed. No training was really required on my part. I worked for 8 months in a busy call center (roughly 100 calls a day per person) and nobody ever misgendered me. I even struck up a few women only conversations while on the phone (I worked in the medical industry).

Socialisation as female: 100% How is this any different from social adaption? Maybe mannerism passability? IDK... If so, people who knew me before tell me it's crazy how much I come off as a girl now, especially considering I was pretty masculine in everything I did before.

Hormone changes: ??? Who knows. I'm still changing. My face and boobs are still filling out after nearly 3 years. No telling when that stops. I'm sure it's a number higher than 70%

Hair: 100% My hair is 3/4+ the way down my back. Even the small recessions in the corners have pretty much come back (not all the way, but enough not to care about).

Wardrobe replacement: 95% I have no male clothes and a bunch of female clothes, but I still need shoes.  get tired of wearing the same flip flops and alternating between the same 2 pairs of sneakers.

Future employment prospects: 40% Not as much from passability, but more from disability. It's starting to look like I have a progressive neurological disorder (possibly a vascular malformation in my brain) that's impairing my cognitive and motor abilities. If I could stand for long periods of time and not drop stuff, I wouldn't have any problems being a shot girl or bartender, or finishing school and being a stylist. Plus, transitioning near 30 after working a type of job for 10 years that I do not want to go back to as a girl doesn't help either.
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



  •  

Allyda

Well, I'm now 4 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days in (my ticker's off by two days) on my hrt, and there have been a few changes since my last progress post. So here's my update:

Self Acceptance: 70%. I've accepted myself a little more due to some positive changes during the last month or so, however, I'll still need my SRS, and Female Voice Surgery, and still some FFS depending on 2 year hrt outcome to fully accept myself completely. I just won't feel whole until that wretched discusting abhorrid, mistake of an abomination between my legs is turned into an "innie."

Coming Out: 100%. Here there hasn't been much change as everyone who matters to me knows. However, it should be noted I have lost a few more friends -all males, who just can't understand why I need to transform. The way I see it, they weren't really my friends in the first place.

Voice Training: 20%. This one jumps from 5% to 20% because, and I've no clue how it happened, I actually found a semblance of a female voice while with a friend in Family Dollar. In order to cultivate this new development it will take a lot of work due to my previous damage to my throat. Until I have my voice surgery though I have to try. My Endo has stated He'll give me a referral for the surgery as soon as I find a Doctor that does VFS, so now my surgery's just a matter of many phone calls to find the right surgeon.

Socialization as Female: 100%. No change here as I've no problem passing wherever I go.

Hair Removal: 70%. No change here yet. Between work and helping my SO move I haven't had time to give myself any treatments. I'm still fighting the grays on my face, and probably will be for some time yet. I am looking into an epilator and an electrolysis device to assist me with this battle

Hormone Changes: 80%. Here I have a 15% increase because my waist is down an inch from 28 to 27", and even more important my brow ridge has shrunk which actually lifted my eyebrows up a little. I still have 10 pounds to lose, which should put me waist wise where I want to be. Also my sunken cheeks have begun to fill in, plus, my boobies are now large enough to where I need to wear a bra out in public.

Hair: 75% and increasing daily! Here my hrt continues it's miracle as my problem areas continue to fill in. My hair is also growing like weeds. It's now to the middle of my back longer than it was when I had my trim just two months ago.

Wardrobe Replacement: 100%. No change here with the exception of I've gained a few more cute outfits. I'm also looking into getting more summer dresses as I love those, and of course more shoes, which I never get tired of shopping for.

Future Employment Prospects: 75%. Here I've actually had a change for the worse as it's dropped 25%. Since I work for myself on boats and outboard motors, I find that there's a lot of people that would rather have a guy work on their boat than a girl. So unfortunately, I've actually lost some work because I'm a woman. I still get a few jobs though here and there, but I do notice a drop off in the amount of work and calls I get.

So in summary: Overall I continue to be pleased with the changes for the better my hrt has made and continues to make to my body. I'm especially relieved I'm finally seeing changes to my face, as this is an area of me I'm in general not very happy with. My Endo said he would increase my E dosage upon my next visit the first week in July, and, that he may switch me over to the injections, and is also looking into the pellets for me. He feels that I will have better results with the injections over the oral E I'm currently taking. However what form of E I end up taking upon my next Endo visit may depend on which one my insurance covers.

Ally :icon_flower:


Allyda
Full Time August 2009
HRT Dec 27 2013
VFS [ ? ]
FFS [ ? ]
SRS Spring 2015



  •  

Joan


So here I am at 7 months HRT, and I'm not quite sure what to think.  I'm still part time, but i do get out quite a bit at the weekends. 

I feel like I've been treading water for the last two months.  Subtle changes, yes.  Long looks from people I haven't seen for while, yes.  Loss of muscle mass and fat gain on the hips, some.  Male fail, dream on.

I worry about how much HRT is going to do for me and whether it will be enough to satisfy me.  My body and my face have definitely become less masculine as the weeks pass, but paradoxically I seem to pass less than I did at 4 months and to be honest this is kind of giving me the jitters.  It's like I knew I couldn't pass without hormones, but now I've got them the stakes seem sort of higher.  That said, there is no way back and I'm doing what I can to keep things moving. 

So anyway, here's where I am just now (numbers are at 10 weeks, 4 months and 7 months HRT).

Self-acceptance 90%→90% →90%
There is still a deep-rooted shame at being this way, but for the most part I've accepted what I am.

Coming out 5% → 30%→50%
I came out to my brother and sister and they've been positive and accepting if a bit puzzled.  Neither saw it coming, and my brother has come back with a few emails looking for the 'causes' in our shared childhood experience.  I'm giving him the explanations that it is not, as I think he deserves in his effort to make the adjustment.
In two weeks I go home to tell my mom.  This is the biggie.  I'm confident that I won't be disowned, but I'm sure she'll struggle to understand.  Kelpie Maloney plastered all over the TV and newspapers will have given her something on which to form an opinion.  Let's hope it's not a negative one.

Hair removal 30% → 40%→60%
I bit the bullet and gave up the Tria on my face for professional laser.  The effects are immediate, and the islands of dark skin that no concealer could ever hide are gone after two sessions.    I wish I had started earlier:  How many times have I read that from others?  But I guess when you're initially out but still tied up with closeted feelings the home hair removal route is an appealing one, and I guess it's just another station on the road to greater self acceptance.
Electrolysis for the white hairs is in my future.

Voice training 15% → 75%→75%
This is still working, and my intonation is improving too.  Even in male mode my voice has got softer.  It lasts a whole evening talking over dinner and drinks too.

Socialisation as a female? →? →?
I'm getting the hang of things that cis women do without thinking, and I don't think anything that I do or say is jarringly wrong.  Women smile, and men look at my tits and then have no interest beyond that, and though I'm not interested in men anyway it's still kind of disappointing to be so unattractive lol. Other than that I don't really know.  The only women I ever really talk to are my friends who obviously know that I'm transgendered and treat me as a woman.  I'd love to meet and talk with people who don't know my past and see how I relate to them.  I hope that begins to happen as I need that kind of feedback.

Hormone changes ? →? →?
As I mentioned above, my face changed.  My square jaw has got thinner and my cheeks have taken on fat.  Without losing any weight my bust is bigger, my band is smaller, my waist is narrower and my arms and neck thinner.  At seven months these aren't bad changes, but 'how slow they are, how much time they waste refusing to make haste' lol.
I'm white and 6'2" and I live in Asia.  In guy mode I stand out like a sore thumb and people stare a lot.  As a woman I stand out even more, even in jeans and a t-shirt, and people stare and stare.  I find this quite unnerving, and of course I come to the conclusion that I'm being read whether that's the case or not.  I wish I knew which it was.  This isn't going to go away so I need to get past this.  All I want is to blend in and have a quiet life.  If I knew I was just 'unusually sized' to people I could just get on with my quiet life, and I'm interested to see how much I can do that when I come back to the UK next month.  If I don't then I'll know that it's not my unusualness that's getting me the stares.
Emotionally I like myself much more.  I'm more connected with the world and with other people, like a veil that always stood between me and everything has been pulled aside and I can see the colours and the patterns that I couldn't make out before.  I like this very much.  Also, and whether this is as a result of hormone levels not being constant with IM, I can get be a bit teary at times.  The other night I was listening to some music and it just set me off crying, and I was still crying 3 hours later at 2 in the morning, pretty much without reason.  But wow did I feel good the next day, like I'd washed all the bad stuff away.  My girlfriend does this sometimes and I always used to ask her what the matter was and she'd say nothing and I could never understand.  Now I think I do.

Hair 20% →30% →40%
With professional laser my facial hair is significantly reduced.  The Tria is still doing good things for body hair, and I don't need to shave as often as I used to to keep it under control.
The hair on my head is still coming back slowly.  In another six months I hope to have enough going on to make a decent stab at a workable feminine hairstyle.  In the meantime it's wigs, and if it's still wigs in the future then that will be good enough.

Wardrobe replacement 50% →70% →30%
I've just thrown out a large pile of my male clothes, and I'm accruing more and more women's stuff on shopping trips out on Sunday afternoons.  I have a better idea now of what works for me, which is often quite different from what I really want to wear.  Never mind.  I keep buying the same kind of stuff and I don't know how to break out of this or in what direction.  Learning this skill is going to take some time.

Future employment ? →10% →?
I'm still yoyo-ing between my plans to transition opinion my current job and finding a new place to work.  It kind of depends on how confident I'm feeling, but after 20 years doing the same thing I'd also quite like a change.  Whichever it's 18 months down the line, so there's still time to think and plan.

I started this thread as a means of encouraging myself, and yes, it's good to revisit once in a while and remember where I've been.  The day to day the progress we make can be hard to see.  For those of us who can't just say **** it and go full time it's a long and sometimes dark road, but I am moving forward, and I will get to where I want to be.

Take care, all :)
Only a dark cocoon before I get my gorgeous wings and fly away
Only a phase, these dark cafe days
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ashrock

Self-esteem: 90%Went from doubting I could ever pass and constantly questioning friends about how I was doing, to feeling confident in how I look with not just my gender, but in how I look.  I know I look cute.  I know Im not irrestibly hot, nor would I want to be, I like the way I look now, and still have more body changes to look forward to.  My ex tearing me down doesnt even phase me anymore and it used to really get to me.
Social adaption: 80% It gets weird around immediate family.  I dont have much contact with most of them, and Im ok with that for now.  They all know, but they still use the male name, and parents just flat ignore the other changes.  My ex is slowly coming around, but I still have to try and present male to her grandmother, who is quite old and we really dont want to "shock".  With people I associate on more than a once a month basis, Im female and treated as if I had always been.
Self-acceptance: 99% I find being transgendered has given me a rather unique and beautiful perspective on life.  Sure, there was pain, lots and lots of pain, before and during, but now I love life.  I appreciate all the little things; every minute I can spend not alone, taking my daughter to the park, even going to the grocery store...
Coming out: 99%Thats a complicated one since it means different things at different times.... Everyone who knew me pre-transition and Ive had contact with in the last year knows I transitioned.  Have a couple of new friends that dont know Im trans, and might not ever know.  I havent come out to everyone with my sexual orientation though, but being asexual... I dont know if that even counts...
Hair removal: 10% Ive only had one partial face treatment... The one thing that frightens me and usually renders me unable to even leave the house... Feel like I must shave and do makeup before leaving the house, otherwise I tone down the presentation to near androgyny.  I dont know why I feel thats safer, as strangers have gendered me correctly even in the most masculine clothes I own the handful of times I have left the house like 30 hours after a close shave.
Voice training: 90% Speaking voice, I avoid rating 100%, but its 100%... Now, I still have a fear of singing in public because I am worried I sound like a guy when singing though my friends say it sounds nothing but female to them...
Socialisation as female: 100% How is this any different from social adaption? Maybe mannerism passability? IDK... If so, people who knew me before tell me it's crazy how much I come off as a girl now, especially considering I was pretty masculine in everything I did before.
Hormone changes: 90% I dont think hormones are even close to done with me (only 6 months in), but if I had to live with the progression Ive acchieved so far, I could manage.
Hair: 90% Want it a bit longer, and have to make sure my hairline is a bit covered.  First one will come with time (curly hair takes SOOOO long to grow out), second one, again I can live with because its fairly easy with my hair to do and I also hold out hope in time the corners will fill in a bit  .
Wardrobe replacement: 90% Decent enough capsule wardrobe to manage, but would like more dresses and such.  Im missing a couple of essentials for my area too, boots and a nice warm winter jacket, but that wont be too hard to find once its later in fall, just a little expensive.
Future employment prospects: 99% My field is fairly non gendered (though mostly males enter it) and should always remain in demand.  Im also fairly talented, so I am not worried much about it

I know im late to this... but still... Glad to see progress joan
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FrancisAnn

I'm moving forward quite a bit I think, 1 year on HRT, my body has improved quite a bit, breasts maybe a nice B cup, certainly less body hair, I had a complete facelift with eye lid surgery, my face looks so much nicer, still working on facial hair removal, some has been zapped but more to zap. I feel great about being myself. I still love hetrosexual type men & maybe this fall I can find a new man to be with, my completion is much nicer being on extrogen, living 95% as a normal woman, I have a few relatives that do not know but I never see them anyway.   So I'm doing OK I think.
mtF, mid 50's, always a girl since childhood, HRT (Spiro, E & Fin.) since 8-13. Hormone levels are t at 12 & estrogen at 186. Face lift & eye lid surgery in 2014. Abdominoplasty/tummy tuck & some facial surgery May, 2015. Life is good for me. Love long nails & handsome men! Hopeful for my GRS & a nice normal depth vagina maybe by late summer. 5' 8", 180 pounds, 14 dress size, size 9.5 shoes. I'm kind of an elegant woman & like everything pink, nice & neet. Love my nails & classic Revlon Red. Moving back to Florida, so excited but so much work moving
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Rose City Rose

Self-acceptance 95%
I have my odd wt* am I doing? days myself, but when I'm out with my fiance and we're just a girl and a guy out on the town, and I can act as girly as I want around him and he's just happy that I'm happy, I can't fathom why I would ever doubt myself.  My life has gotten so much better since I just accepted that I wasn't a nutcase and that there is life after discovering you're a transsexual.

Coming out 90%
A good bit of my family knows.  My fiance knows.  My friends know.  After a while I got so sick of hiding it.  I'm Rose to everyone I meet and I no longer present male at all.

Hair removal 10%
Got most of my facial hair taken care of but after 10 laser treatments there's still stubble, and I can't afford electrolysis.  As for my body, I just shave or use Nair on whatever part of me is going to be uncovered (usually arms, face, and upper chest). 

Voice training 75%
I already had a very fem/androgynous voice (I used to get called 'ma'am' on the phone all the time) so I do OK as a full-time woman.  Sometimes when my allergies kick in I give myself away a little.  Also, my singing voice is masculine in range (G2-D6 with a clear falsetto kicking in around E5), color, and technique, and I sound like a 14-year-old boy.  I would really like to find a singing instructor that works with trans so I can reinvent myself musically as a dramatic contralto.

Socialisation as female 80%
I spend every day of my public life as a woman.  I dress well enough to get compliments from cis women about my outfits.  I still don't have many female friends though (most of my friends are gay men).

Hormone changes 30%
I've only just begun to see something resembling breasts, and my fat distribution leaves a lot to be desired, but my skin is softer.  The most important changes I've gotten from hormones are a sharp reduction in aggression and anger.  I'm less likely to interpret feeling uncomfortable about a situation as just background noise until it drives me to explode any more and I feel like the "rewiring" that comes with hormones is definitely having a positive effect.

Hair 95%
I do have a fairly high forehead, but I had already been growing my hair out for more than 2 years when I began seeking HRT and it's been more than 4 years now so I've got a pretty nice amount of it.  It's thick and brown with red highlights, and when I clean and condition it, I have a sheen and volume that some cis women are jealous of!

Wardrobe replacement 50%
I at least know what I'm getting into, though money is a major problem right now.

Future employment prospects 50%
On the one hand, I'm getting a degree in social sciences because I can't make it outside the humanities (I tried; wasted a year at tech school getting mediocre grades and failing to get lasting employment before most of what I learned went obsolete).  This greatly limits my career prospects.  Also, I have to pretty much abandon any previous job experience because I lost my last job in 2011 due to my dysphoria getting so bad I had a major breakdown, so now I'm a 30 year old woman who, for all intents and purposes, has never worked.  On the other hand, I'm in an enviable position as a transgender author in that I'm published and transitioned before getting widespread notice, so if my writing does get popular enough to make a living on, I have the option of going into it more or less stealth and not having to transition publicly.
*Started HRT January 2013
*Name and gender marker changed September 2014
*Approved and issued letters for surgery September 2015
*Surgery Consultation November 2015
*Preop electrolysis October 2016-March 2019
*GRS April 3 2019
I DID IT!!!
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LordKAT

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Jill F

Wow, was this from almost 6 months ago?  Update time!

Self-esteem: 90% I'm almost there completely.  Still feel a bit self-conscious about being too bulky, but I no longer wish to hasten my expiration date. Still a bit too heavy, but I have a pretty nice butt going now and some killer cleavage.  I'd say 93% now.
Social adaptation: 100%  This was easy.  All I had to do was stop pretending to be dudely, and now everyone gets that I'm a girl.
Self-acceptance: 100%  I'm 100% on board.  Every day gets a bit better and I'm finally living the dream.
Coming out: 100% Everyone knows.
Hair removal: 80% Still have icky body hair, but mah face is 99% there.  Still have that pesky 1% of the beard left, but the body hair is much finer now after the orchi. I'd say 95% now.
Voice training: 60%  It's OK, I sometimes get ma'am-ed on the phone now...  I'm probably 75% of the way to best case now.
Socialisation as female: 100% I'm there.
Hormone changes: I'd say 50% maybe  Small bewbs, some butt, soft skin, less body hair, emotional bliss. I have no idea where I'll max out, but I'd say 60-65%.
Hair: 80%  Still need to let the new growth catch up to the rest, but I don't think I'll need plugs now.  What I have is good enough to go out with.  Wish it was longer/thicker. It's definitely better now.  90%.
Wardrobe replacement: 100%  I don't wear guy clothes.  It's all girly now.
Future employment prospects: ???  I'm mostly unemployable now.  Haven't had a proper day job in years, but my wife is a prominent attorney and I can/do make money as a guitar tech/luthier/guitar collecter/dealer.  We're pretty far into the top tax bracket, so if I do make money, the taxes wipe out too much of it to make it worth my time.  If I want a day job, all I have to do is buy/start a business.

Since the original post, I have had an orchi and am now legally Jill and female.  Mah bewbs are sore 24/7 these days and having a nice growth spurt.
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