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Help identifying

Started by Yonnyonawhim, May 26, 2014, 08:29:21 AM

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Yonnyonawhim

Hey, I'm Yonny! I am pansexual and I think I may be genderfluid. I am not sure though. Most of the time I do not identify as either gender, and either pronoun sort of upsets me. The about 30% of the time I identify male. And about 10% I identify female. Maybe less than that. I was born female. I want to get top surgery and if I can find them, estrogen blockers. I have no clue what I am! Help!
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AnneB

Good morning Yonny!  Welcome to Susan's! I expect Ms. Grace will be along any minute with your Welcome packet!

Ok... genderfluid can be good.. no worries.. figuring out something is just.. different is a big step and reaching out for answers is really good. That alone can help calm yourself..  depending where your are (continent), can you find a therapist to talk over what you're feeling? Any run of the mill, plain therapist likely won't know how to deal with any gender issues, so a Google search in your city/town for a gender therapist is where I think I would start. If you are in a college town, check the Physcology Dept for recommendations, sometimes those own advisors can either direct you to one, (many more kids realizing they're GF too), or they themselves can help.

We're here for you, no worries.. we've been there. Many of us are starting, midway thru our own journey and some here are are waiting at the end for you.  We've got your back, a hand to hold, to guide, and a shoulder to lean/cry on.

Paula
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Jessica Merriman

A big warm welcome Yonny! You have found a wonderful place where you can see stories like yours and what people did to address the issue. You have support now so use it as often as you need to. A first stop for most of us was with a Therapist who has gender experience. Here is a BIG HUG  :icon_hug: to welcome you and make you feel right at home!  :)

Please review these important topics

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ativan

Hi Yonny
Don't worry to much about labels and such.
Just be yourself, that's good enough.
Labels are a secondary thing, not much use unless you have to use one.
They will change most likely, as you move through life, so don't get to hung up on them.
Look through some of the older topics of interest to you here, there's good information in them.
A good gender therapist is fine if you think you need the extra help.
They can be worth it, but it takes one that has a good fit for yourself.
Nice to see you here
Ativan
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Taka

welcome yonny!

i have a feeling you might be human, like most of the members here. and even if you're not, chances are you're still a person...

or to be a little more serious, the way you describe yourself, you sound like a typical yonny. a person who is just like you.
there may be labels which you feel comfortable with, but i can't guarantee it.

when looking at gender labels and trying to figure it out, keep in mind that what makes up an identity is just as much of what you don't identify as, as what you do identify as. it's a bit like the linguistic game of defining blue for a person who has grown up in a world where everything is blue. we can say that the sky is blue,or if there is no blue sky, that it's the color which is not red, green, yellow etc. it is just as useful to know what you're not, as what group of people with similar characteristics you belong to.

i should perhaps mention that what gathers many of us here, is that we don't really share too many gender characteristics with any group. we're all so different. girls and boys may be their different hues of blue or red, at least that's what it sounds like when they try to describe it, but in here, it's not uncommon to be multicolored or an undefinable mix of quite a lot or very little of anything.

anyway... what do you think you are? that's a whole lot more important than what anyone else thinks you are.
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Satinjoy

Welcome to Susan's Yonny

You are among friends.  :)   Enjoy, we feel at home here.  Welcome to our home.
Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the red pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the little blue pills - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes

Sh'e took the little blue ones.
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Asche

Quote from: Satinjoy on May 27, 2014, 11:37:04 AM
You are among friends.
OT:  I can't see/hear this sentence without thinking of Gordon Dickson's The Alien Way, where it has a particular significance in the aliens' culture.
"...  I think I'm great just the way I am, and so are you." -- Jazz Jennings



CPTSD
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Kendall

I just support as long as there is no distress. If there is distress you need a license therapist, with experience with gender issues. They are the only people who can diagnose people especially with distress. Support can come after a professional takes care of distress and negative experiences. I can support you once you know who you are. We can't tell you who you are.

If you are  not in distress look through the posts and read what other have experienced.

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femaletome

Quote from: Ativan Prescribed on May 26, 2014, 11:02:52 AM
Hi Yonny
Don't worry to much about labels and such.
Just be yourself, that's good enough.
Labels are a secondary thing, not much use unless you have to use one.
They will change most likely, as you move through life, so don't get to hung up on them.
Look through some of the older topics of interest to you here, there's good information in them.
A good gender therapist is fine if you think you need the extra help.
They can be worth it, but it takes one that has a good fit for yourself.
Nice to see you here
Ativan

This is wonderful advice and I completely agree.  I know how it feels to struggle not having that one label that just fits, but I've learned that if I obsess over it and over think it, I just end up miserable.  Overall I say that I am 'queer' simply because for me, that is open ended, but go with whatever feels right to you.  Don't worry about living up to any labels or expectations of what those labels mean - we are all individuals and we evolve over time!
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helen2010

Quote from: Yonnyonawhim on May 26, 2014, 08:29:21 AM
Hey, I'm Yonny! I am pansexual and I think I may be genderfluid. I am not sure though. Most of the time I do not identify as either gender, and either pronoun sort of upsets me. The about 30% of the time I identify male. And about 10% I identify female. Maybe less than that. I was born female. I want to get top surgery and if I can find them, estrogen blockers. I have no clue what I am! Help!

Yonny

You are among friends, kindred spirits and fellow travellers.  Working with a gender therapist will help you understand who you are.  The labels really are not that important but the search for authenticity and authentic expression certainly is.  You will have many questions and many insights.  Feel free to share and to seek support.  This is an exciting and powerful time for all of us.  Welcome to Susans.

Safe travels

Aisla
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