Being pre T is very frustrating to me. Whenever I get mad my body just decides that it should cry, even if I don't want to. So whenever I get mad I have to hold back tears and voice cracks which is very unnatural and awful for me. I also can't help feeling incredibly weak around other guys, like they talk about who they think they can "take" or beat up and I honestly don't think I could do that to any of them. I am naturally a person who likes to dominate, and it makes me so depressed when I can't defend people or be physically intimidating(I know that makes me sound like a jerk but its the male part of me I guess). For example, my brother always pushes my mom and me around and I can never do anything about it and when I try to stand up to him my eyes water involuntarily and I hate it. I hope this changes with testosterone.

That's definitely going to change. In my experience, I cry 90% less now than when I was pre-T. Not only will you gain physical strength, but you will also develop inner strength and confidence to be able to defend yourself and others around you. I'd suggest you start working out now (if you aren't already) and continue on T, because if you are consistent with it, you can get pretty buff. I went from relatively skinny but fit "girl" to big, buff, bulky guy within 3-6 months on T, but I ate 2500+ calories and had a solid lifting routine. Other than physical, you will gain emotional strength. You won't cry nearly as much...sure you'll still be able to shed a couple of tears here and there, and it's relieving...no embarrassment in it.

Honestly, I would rethink hanging out with the guys you do. Of course every man has those moments where he wants to beat someone up because testosterone can produce natural aggression (as an adaptation and a key for survival), but if the guys you're with constantly talk about that openly...they probably haven't develop into men yet. We all know those kind of people, and they aren't good influences, or people you'd want to hold lasting friendships with. A real man isn't violent when he doesn't need to be 

Quote from: BearGuy on June 18, 2014, 09:15:33 PM
That's definitely going to change. In my experience, I cry 90% less now than when I was pre-T. Not only will you gain physical strength, but you will also develop inner strength and confidence to be able to defend yourself and others around you. I'd suggest you start working out now (if you aren't already) and continue on T, because if you are consistent with it, you can get pretty buff. I went from relatively skinny but fit "girl" to big, buff, bulky guy within 3-6 months on T, but I ate 2500+ calories and had a solid lifting routine. Other than physical, you will gain emotional strength. You won't cry nearly as much...sure you'll still be able to shed a couple of tears here and there, and it's relieving...no embarrassment in it.

Honestly, I would rethink hanging out with the guys you do. Of course every man has those moments where he wants to beat someone up because testosterone can produce natural aggression (as an adaptation and a key for survival), but if the guys you're with constantly talk about that openly...they probably haven't develop into men yet. We all know those kind of people, and they aren't good influences, or people you'd want to hold lasting friendships with. A real man isn't violent when he doesn't need to be 

I agree with all of this. It takes a lot more for me to cry now and that's been a nice thing. I also got physically stronger and have visible muscle growth even though I'm like the laziest fatass ever lol.

And BearGuy's comments about those guy friends are right too. I wouldn't want to be around guys who are talking about that sort of thing frequently. If they were real pissed at something, sure, but that shouldn't happen all that often.

I would disagree that guys have "emotional strength" but it is true that it is harder to cry on T. OTOH, I have had many guys say that they wished they could cry more easily because it provides release. I think the society is screwed up really and that the "emotional strength" is really a weakness of male socialization that does not allow males in our society to express themselves. In my own journey, I'm taking what I want and can be intentional. I do cry but it is indeed harder, just what the T does.

I did gain confidence but that started pre-T. I think that came from feeling more like this is who I am versus T specifically. I know trans women saying they got more confident as well.

--Jay

"Honestly, I would rethink hanging out with the guys you do. Of course every man has those moments where he wants to beat someone up because testosterone can produce natural aggression (as an adaptation and a key for survival), but if the guys you're with constantly talk about that openly...they probably haven't develop into men yet"
Oops, they don't do it frequently, and its more of a playful thing. We like to wrestle and horse around a lot. BTW thanks for all your advice