Quote from: Miharu Barbie on June 18, 2014, 12:27:54 PM
That explains a lot!  I knew there was some reason that I feel drawn to you, but I couldn't explain it. 

Joy seekers of a feather flock together.   

Fly Baby! Fly!

Quote from: Miharu Barbie on June 18, 2014, 11:28:07 AM
I love myself because I love myself.  (I love you Miharu! I love you! I love you! I love you!)

I read these words in my head in Natasha Beddingfields voice with the notes and rythm of the song. "These words"

Very interesting theme. For me transition wasn't necessity. I didn't started because of need to survive. I don't have any strong female or male identity. I think that my major driving forces were to be better person and be happier. I also simply hated many aspects (mainly physical) of being male. But neither was so intense that I wouldn't survive without transition.  By better person I mean that I see female form as next step in my own evolution and I see female form as the better one(please don't take it offensive it is just my internal longing). And I really am convinced that life as a female will be much more interesting. So for me I didn't need to transition but I wanted to. However after few months of hrt(low dose because we want children...) , lasers etc I can't imagine of returning back. Now I am sure I would suffer a strong dysphoria if I would have to stop it, because I like physical changes that are happening... and seeing  "ugly" male features comming back would be hell.

This is an interesting question. I didn't expect transition to make me love myself, per se, because that's a process that has so many variables involved.

I also didn't do it as an act of self-love either though. More of self-realization maybe. I simply realized that I was never going to be untrans, no matter what I did, so I just decided that I might as well stop torturing myself because even if I stayed female I'd still have the same problems.

Quote from: stephaniec on June 17, 2014, 08:36:13 PM
just to stay alive and not fall a couple thousand feet from a top of my apartment building

The tallest man made, free standing structure in the world is the Canadian National Tower and it is only 1815' high! Lol sorry to bug couldnt resist that one   

I transitioned because I couldn't function as a male in life, have known since I was little that I'm a girl.
So my body has always felt wrong and I couldn't handle it anymore so transition was the only option.

The dysphoria was way too strong to live otherwise

Quote from: Hayley on June 17, 2014, 07:08:45 PM
What Abby said it was/is about feeling comfortable with myself. But for me it is also about being happy when I look at myself. I spent a long time (for me) just being "ok" with every aspect of my life which is how I thought I could make it thru this world. I couldnt. I wanted to be better than that. So transition was that for me. My chance to attempt being better than "ok".

This ^^^ <3

I transitioned so I could stop hating myself, which I have accomplished. Loving myself is still a ways off, but hopefully I'll get there some day.

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 17, 2014, 08:49:37 PM
For me, it is - because - I love myself that I wanted to transcend. I find beauty trumps handsomeness and I wanted to elevate to the more fragile and graceful version of me. I guess it's an odd self idealized way for me to become more fiercely protective of myself because of this recognized beauty and vulnerability.

Quote from: Miharu Barbie on June 18, 2014, 11:28:07 AM
I learned a very long time ago that the measure of success is the amount of JOY achieved in my life.  Nothing, for me, is more important than to seek JOY wherever I may find it.

How poetic!

Survival. The stress of carrying this baggage around all these years was killing me gradually.

To look how I feelt on the inside

Personal comfort. I cant really say for sure of i would ever get to a point were i wont hate myself any less than i do now but i can get to a point of self tolerance.

Quote from: Sarah84 on June 18, 2014, 06:47:28 PM
Very interesting theme. For me transition wasn't necessity. I didn't started because of need to survive. I don't have any strong female or male identity. I think that my major driving forces were to be better person and be happier. I also simply hated many aspects (mainly physical) of being male. But neither was so intense that I wouldn't survive without transition.  By better person I mean that I see female form as next step in my own evolution and I see female form as the better one(please don't take it offensive it is just my internal longing). And I really am convinced that life as a female will be much more interesting. So for me I didn't need to transition but I wanted to. However after few months of hrt(low dose because we want children...) , lasers etc I can't imagine of returning back. Now I am sure I would suffer a strong dysphoria if I would have to stop it, because I like physical changes that are happening... and seeing  "ugly" male features comming back would be hell.

I admittingly just caught this post, you and I are so much alike. What really caught my attention was the dysphoria part; if we where to stop and regress in our transition even though we never felt wholesomely feminine ourselves....

Talk about a self induced dysphoria if there never was one.

I felt enough 'feminine' that exploration was needed. I went about this in a more spontaneous way. When I started I never really knew what my outcome would be, all I had was a leap of faith to help confirm some suspicions. I probably did it more intending to help my follicles survive given all we know about testosterone. Early months of HRT was certainly a barometer of what's to come. Insofar as budding breasts and possibly going sterile - it was a gamble that brought light to what the possibilities could be. I rapidly became attractively androgynous. The gamble was so worth it. I love what I'm seeing and to stop now and regress would be a personal tragedy. I absolutely must see more.