Quote from: Mark3 on August 31, 2014, 02:19:40 PM


That was also pretty much me 4-5 years ago... 
Obviously I don't or would not "chase" anyone even before I was married cuz I was so shy/withdrawn, but anyone female was within my preferred attractiveness scale.. But after thinking more about it since my earlier post, I don't know how I would handle the trans issues in a new relationship unless I'd actually have done it, to be 100% honest..?
I'd like to think it wouldn't matter, or even add some level of uniqueness and difference I would find even more attractive within her person, but until faced with it, I don't really know..?

OK. I may be a little different. Life experience and all even a little wild, but anyone that wants to "chase" me is perfectly welcome. As long as it is because they are interested in the femininity in me, not because of the one thing that I have that most women don't and that is an outtie instead of an innie. I am definitely not proud but have had one night stands because of that. but it was mutual regardless I am definitely not innocent and never claimed to be. Now I really want so much more, I guess it is one of the downfalls or one of he virtues of getting older. Which one I really haven't decided though, but please don't judge.

Mark, you are a good guy, never change. Anyone transwoman ciswoman or anyone else would be lucky to have a boyfriend or husband like you cis tans or anything else. You seem like one in a million. No BS.

Quote from: Allyda on August 31, 2014, 09:43:03 PM
Oh if that, true love were to come my way, no, I'd never turn it down. But alas, I don't think love other than friendship is in the cards for me. So I have nothing to worry about.

Ali

My Gawd. Yes Southern talk Hon. When it comes you will never be ready for it. I have never been unless I was the one that was taking the chance and laying my heart out on the table. Gawd, between you, Jessica and Stephanie, I can see I got my bad girl lessons or at least wild or not too shy lessons laid out before me. It is all about confidence and nothing more. Too shy and you'll never realize. Too confident and it may be a heartache. Just the right combination of shyness with enough confidence to play shy, then you will find the right one for you. SHHH. That is my secret though. It is just the right combination of shyness or feigned shyness with the confidence incognito that plays right into their hands. You have to let men be men and masculine men at that. Then Trans or not it makes not too much difference as long as you are mum about your status. Of course I in no way am shy so be ready to maybe e embarrassed.

BTW, I have seen some knockout guys that made me feel things go and stay with girls and women that make us transwomen look like beauty queens. It really hurts me when you three talk like that 'cause I am probably the less better looking of the four of us and I have no problems. We rally need to all three go on a vacation together. If we all four don't end up with guys that are at least somewhat well off for a night or longer, then ya'll can make fun of me all you want and the night's drinks will be on me. Self confidence goes a long way though.

Quote from: Mark3 on August 31, 2014, 02:19:40 PM
That was also pretty much me 4-5 years ago... 
Obviously I don't or would not "chase" anyone even before I was married cuz I was so shy/withdrawn, but anyone female was within my preferred attractiveness scale.. But after thinking more about it since my earlier post, I don't know how I would handle the trans issues in a new relationship unless I'd actually have done it, to be 100% honest..?
I'd like to think it wouldn't matter, or even add some level of uniqueness and difference I would find even more attractive within her person, but until faced with it, I don't really know..?

Not to assume anything about your person, but I think the woman's personality would play a massive factor. In my experience, I have met many men who were interested in me. Most of them shared the same sentiments of "not being sure until they encounter the situation." When I shared the reality of my biology with these men, they were almost all open to the idea of trying despite not being interested in penises.

To risk a massacre of modesty, I have a great personality. I am very empathetic, caring, reasonable, and fun-loving. It seems to do the trick for anyone who is interested. In a few cases, men sort of backed out -- in the majority of those instances, the men expressed interest in a post-op version or wanted to revisit the idea when I arrived at that point. With the very few men who were uninterested altogether, I honestly have to say that they were not the most interesting or most fun people I have encountered; regardless, they were all kind to me.

For whatever reason, I find that the more charismatic and stable men are very willing to try and can appreciate the investment that they're making. Several years ago, I wouldn't have guessed -- I really believed that the majority of men would be inflexible. I was wrong, at least as far as my affairs are concerned; so much of it came down to how valuable these individuals perceived my character.

Thanks Jess... You too, don't ever change..! You sound like a fun exciting "Chasee"..! lol..

Quote from: Mark3 on September 01, 2014, 12:38:38 PM
Thanks Jess... You too, don't ever change..! You sound like a fun exciting "Chasee"..! lol..

Oh believe me I love the chase, the dance and the whole deal. Love the flirting and the whole getting to know each other thing. As long as the guy isn't a serial killer or just plain strange that I get a bad vibe from, I give everyone a shot. And I am really not that hard to catch.

And yeah, I use to be a wild girl, now a wild woman and love to have fun. Romance is just and added bonus and fun romance is the ultimate.

Quote from: Jess42 on August 31, 2014, 10:10:31 PM
My Gawd. Yes Southern talk Hon. When it comes you will never be ready for it. I have never been unless I was the one that was taking the chance and laying my heart out on the table. Gawd, between you, Jessica and Stephanie, I can see I got my bad girl lessons or at least wild or not too shy lessons laid out before me. It is all about confidence and nothing more. Too shy and you'll never realize. Too confident and it may be a heartache. Just the right combination of shyness with enough confidence to play shy, then you will find the right one for you. SHHH. That is my secret though. It is just the right combination of shyness or feigned shyness with the confidence incognito that plays right into their hands. You have to let men be men and masculine men at that. Then Trans or not it makes not too much difference as long as you are mum about your status. Of course I in no way am shy so be ready to maybe e embarrassed.

BTW, I have seen some knockout guys that made me feel things go and stay with girls and women that make us transwomen look like beauty queens. It really hurts me when you three talk like that 'cause I am probably the less better looking of the four of us and I have no problems. We rally need to all three go on a vacation together. If we all four don't end up with guys that are at least somewhat well off for a night or longer, then ya'll can make fun of me all you want and the night's drinks will be on me. Self confidence goes a long way though.

Thanks Jess, your words are appreciated. I should let you know though, that I'm lesbian, only into girls. Though, If someone ever came along who really loved me for me, their gender wouldn't matter. Just as long as they weren't too hairy, lol.

Ali

Quote from: Allyda on September 01, 2014, 10:23:40 PM
Thanks Jess, your words are appreciated. I should let you know though, that I'm lesbian, only into girls. Though, If someone ever came along who really loved me for me, their gender wouldn't matter. Just as long as they weren't too hairy, lol.

Ali

Well, I'm bi so we could hit some lesbian clubs while we're at it. I don't mind being a wing woman. They are little leathery and black instead of feathery and snow white. And besides, I never shut up so there would be no awkward silent moments between you and a girl. Yeah, I got a big mouth.

Quote from: Jess42 on August 29, 2014, 07:03:37 AM
Your right Taka. Genitals do matter in a sexual relationship. We all like what we like and prefer what we prefer. But in a loving relationship a lot of people can overlook "certain things". I like people with two arms and two legs, but if I met a really special someone that there was some sort of emotional bond. I wouldn't care because I would be drawn to that emotional attraction. Same way with looks, god I love beautiful girls and handsome guys, and looks can turn me on. But I am always drawn to the personalities and how well theirs fit mine.

So I definitely agree with you, but when it comes to loving someone and forming emotional bonds, the sexual characteristics can be overlooked. Say I met a wonderful guy, cute, romantic, caring, treated me with respect, makes me laugh, makes me feel good about myself and so on. If that same guy couldn't "perform" in that way, it would in no way be a deal breaker for me. I would much rather have those characteristics in a romantic interest than the sexual things. As a matter of fact I would much rather have those emotional characteristics and personality than looks even. But I'm not normal anyway.

i deeply respect the way your sexuality works. it's a beautiful thing that you can be in a relationship even with someone who's unable to perform in that one way.
but i also hope you will understand that there are some people who can't stay long in a relationship if there is a lack of performance, and will be turned off by the wrong parts. parts don't matter to me personally, but i know they do to many, so i would never ask someone to be my partner if my parts were wrong to them. better to just be the best of friends if our personalities match that well.
performance also matters to some. i don't need a certain part to perform, but i don't think i would want an asexual partner or one who's unwilling to find other ways to seek pleasure. i'd get too frustrated. relationships work best if sexualities match.

Quote from: Taka on September 04, 2014, 05:16:09 AM
i deeply respect the way your sexuality works. it's a beautiful thing that you can be in a relationship even with someone who's unable to perform in that one way.but i also hope you will understand that there are some people who can't stay long in a relationship if there is a lack of performance, and will be turned off by the wrong parts. parts don't matter to me personally, but i know they do to many, so i would never ask someone to be my partner if my parts were wrong to them. better to just be the best of friends if our personalities match that well.
performance also matters to some. i don't need a certain part to perform, but i don't think i would want an asexual partner or one who's unwilling to find other ways to seek pleasure. i'd get too frustrated. relationships work best if sexualities match.

I had to kind of smile when I read that sentence Taka. I really wish I knew how my sexuality works. I really wish someone could tell me.

Oh yeah, I completely understand. I guess I have always tried to see beyond the raw sexual attraction. I will tell you that it hasn't worked all the time and I have given in to those desires and to those desires only. But yeah, relationships work best if all compatibilities are present. Yeah parts don't matter to me either but to a lot I know they do.

who wouldn't give in to attraction when the opportunity is there, and not damaging to either part...
how your sexuality works is something it might take much more than a lifetime to find out. you can only know what you already know.
but being able to love someone like that is admirable. i can't do that. not being able to eat the chocolate that is in front of me, will soon have me writhing in agony.
the stronger an emotional attraction becomes, the more i'll want the rest as well. taking an asexual partner would be a very slow and painful form of suicide for me.

Quote from: Taka on September 04, 2014, 10:42:54 AM
who wouldn't give in to attraction when the opportunity is there, and not damaging to either part...
how your sexuality works is something it might take much more than a lifetime to find out. you can only know what you already know.
but being able to love someone like that is admirable. i can't do that. not being able to eat the chocolate that is in front of me, will soon have me writhing in agony.
the stronger an emotional attraction becomes, the more i'll want the rest as well. taking an asexual partner would be a very slow and painful form of suicide for me.

I am getting soooo mad at you Taka. You are making me really think. Just joking but you are definitely making me question myself and think. Especially when you mentioned asexual partners. I really don't know if I met someone that was asexual or just not interested in any kind of sex at all what I would do. I really don't think it would be a deal breaker if everything else was just right. But I have never been faced with that choice. So I really don't know. You got me overthinking things now. I guess if faced with the choice, then I would know. If it was just the sex thing but they were extremely romantic, I could probably live with it. It if it was due to a health problem but all the tenderness and romance was there I think I could deal with it. Without the romance, tenderness and intimacy, I just really don't know. That is where I think I would remain in the friend zone.