Only you can decide what is right or wrong for your life, so long as you are happy & safe then you've made the right choice

Naw, don't list on the profile.  Just thinking practically here-nobody is going to want to date you if they know you're trans (well, some people will, but then they'll want you to use your equipment in ways that you might not feel ok doing).  My new stratgey is to tell someone on the second date; by that time, they have already have gotten to know me and have a reason to stay even if this is a turn-off for them.  Granted, I'm still new to this since I've just now gotten to the point where I'm able to pass with some consistency.

all opinions are welcome because I'm new to this situation .

I would say it is wrong to lead ANYONE on without letting them knowing you're trans.

Make friends? Sure. Talk flirty, date, etc? No.

Quote from: stephaniec on January 18, 2015, 10:53:41 PM
I got myself on a bunch of dating sites where I say I'm trans , but there's one  where I'm me but don't put down I'm trans. I just want to talk to guys that see my true picture ,but not my trans issue. Is this really wrong or not . If I did find someone interesting I'd tell them ,but just to converse on a superficial level is it right or not. I know everyone is of different opinions , but I'd just like to here what the thinking about this is.

Online you only know the other person by their presentation there. You never know whether they are presenting their true self.

Quote from: Ms Grace on January 18, 2015, 11:25:28 PM
I'm not seeing a problem. I haven't listed as trans on the one site I'm on. If it looks like we'll meet then I'll tell them.

I think it would be better to tell them first before meeting, or at least before it progresses beyond casual conversation.

Well, gee... I do not know for certain. I guess it depends on what you are trying to accomplish.  You want to meet people who know you as Stephanie. Nothing wrong with that -- especially if its on a superficial level. To me, your transexualness is a medical problem. None of us go around discussing our medical issues right off the bat with people we meet, unless there is a compelling need to do so. But if you meet an individual who is leaning more towards "really really" getting to know you or you getting to know them (and it will probably happen - as it already has), then you will be a bit more experienced in bringing them to know the challenges Stephanie faces in her life, and in particular that controversial medical issue.

well, I've got one notch that ran away when he found out , so I guess it's like going to the tables in Las Vegas/

I think hiding this is setting oneself up for a big fall :~o

Even if I do eventually 'pass', I'll always tell people I am trans.

I just can't get close to somebody with a skeleton in my closet. Or at least, I don't want to go there again ...

NO! There's NOTHING wrong. You're a WOMAN, PERIOD! Telling MOST of straight men you're trans is EQUIVALENT as telling them you're a man.

Since I began in 2009, I have been with thousands of men and let me share by my personal experience and of my many of other transsexual friends what MAJORITY of straight men think and have told me personally and to my friends:

This is they have been telling on the different stages...

1. Non-Passable Pre-Op: "OMG you're a man with boobs"
2. Passable Pre-Op: "You're good-looking but that d*ck down there is a major turn off"
3. Non-Passable Post-Op: "You're an 'operated' man, you're just a man with an inverted d*ck."
4. Passable Post-Op: "You're very pretty but I'm not sure cos you were a man before, your chrosomes is YY, you can't produce babies, I'm not sure if I'd do it with you or not. Oh ->-bleeped-<- it, this would make me feel gay. Sorry for all your efforts dude but to me you're still a man"

There are 3 types of straight men:
1.Liberal straight men: They accept you as you are as they view the WOMAN IN YOUR SOUL.
2.Moderate straight men: They will accept you ONLY if you are post-op
3.Strict straight men: You can be the most beautiful and passable ->-bleeped-<- in the world but to them you will be ALWAYS A MAN COS YOU BORN ONE.

Unfortunately MAJORITY of straight ARE in the category 3 type. And don't even think of telling them or either they will dump you or make you end up in hospital. I generally read their DEGREE of 'straightness' by their FACE, VIBES and BODY LANGUAGE. The category 3 are hyper macho and hardcore pussy-munchers, they have an aggressive alpha-male stance. The category 1 have a 'softer' and more romantic presence but of course this is very general what I am saying, they vary differently. BUT OVERALL YOU NEED TO BE SURE WHAT TYPE HE IS BEFORE YOU SPEAK OUT OR NOT. Category 1 yes, category 2 yes if you're post op, category 3 either you take the mad risk stealthing if you're madly in love/attached with him till he discovers(either he will dump you or smash your face off) or simply avoid them.

Quote from: Ms Grace on January 18, 2015, 11:25:28 PM
I'm not seeing a problem. I haven't listed as trans on the one site I'm on. If it looks like we'll meet then I'll tell them.

Basically.
You don't have to throw it out there if you don't wanna. But if a certain situation was to come up.......such as a man being really interested in you or wanting to meet then yea maybe it would be a good idea to let him know.

But other than that just do whatever the hell you want. And happy hunting!  Go find you a man! 

I don't put it on mine cause I don't want to be bothered by a bunch of ->-bleeped-<-s, but because I'm pre-op and not wanting to get my hopes up too much, I will tell before I meet somebody about my history.  Then inevitably that ends it right there lol.  It's become too discouraging and I don't even answer messages anymore.

Quote from: stephaniec on January 20, 2015, 08:10:58 PM
well, I've got one notch that ran away when he found out , so I guess it's like going to the tables in Las Vegas/

Stephanie, I meet with my womens study group on a weekly basis and you are not alone in your thinking.  Every single woman I've met almost always has the same story along that same line -- and that's because they have no issues downstairs.  Maybe upstairs? haha.    So yes, it kinda like the tables in Las Vegas... sometimes we get a winning hand, sometimes a losing hand and sometimes you hit the JackPot!!  Let your intuition guide you-follow your gut instinct, its rarely wrong.  For me, I learned a long time ago to only tell when I felt it was the right time depending on the circumstances. So far  **knock on wood** it has worked for me. I'm married now, but I do know the rush of angst leading up to the moment of having to tell.