After about five month on hormones and blocker I had no interest in sex and really didn't think much about it except for the odd time where just by rubbing down there I could get myself quite stimuated and and have dry orgasm's These were much more intense then they were before. I discovered it was the same after SRS. I guess one is never to old to do it.

Cindy

Quote from: Rachael on October 27, 2007, 12:08:55 PM
time for some thinking mebe..

Quote from: lisagurl on October 27, 2007, 11:04:35 AM
It confuses me why someone that wants to use their tool wants to get rid of it.

I'm not really sure what to say to this. First: I'm not talking about my "tool", I'm talking about sexual desire and drive, which has nothing to do with genetalia for me. Second, I don't think that being interested in sex or wanting to maintain some sort of sex drive is weird or means I should reconsider my transition. In my experience women (especially women my age) consider their sexual desires and drives an important part of who they are, I don't see myself as being any different. Frankly, no matter what society or etiquette say, women who don't care about sex are in a distinct minority.

Sorry if this comes off as harsh, but it makes me angry to be told I'm weird for caring about sex. This is 2007, I won't be made to feel bad about it.

Hi AlwaysLauren
I agree with you. there was a time I thought i would never see the day of experiencing arousals and orgasms with the female anatomy, well now I know, and what's wrong with using it. I think I am hotter sexually now then I was before. Not use to talking about this with other people through

Cindy 

Quote from: AlwaysLauren on October 29, 2007, 12:25:23 PM

Quote from: Rachael on October 27, 2007, 12:08:55 PM
time for some thinking mebe..

Quote from: lisagurl on October 27, 2007, 11:04:35 AM
It confuses me why someone that wants to use their tool wants to get rid of it.

I'm not really sure what to say to this. First: I'm not talking about my "tool", I'm talking about sexual desire and drive, which has nothing to do with genitalia for me. Second, I don't think that being interested in sex or wanting to maintain some sort of sex drive is weird or means I should reconsider my transition. In my experience women (especially women my age) consider their sexual desires and drives an important part of who they are, I don't see myself as being any different. Frankly, no matter what society or etiquette say, women who don't care about sex are in a distinct minority.

Sorry if this comes off as harsh, but it makes me angry to be told I'm weird for caring about sex. This is 2007, I won't be made to feel bad about it.

You need to clearly define sex drive. According to data collected in many research papers about 35% of women do not have a sex drive or desire. I would think physically that the genitalia play a large role in the feeling. What is sex without the genitalia? Love is different than sex and does not need the genitalia. Physical closeness is also not sex, kissing, tickling etc.  Physical stimulation of the genitalia is sex.

Hormones effect different people in different ways. Some lose all sexual feeling others can still have erections. SRS also is a gamble some never have an organism again others have better one's after the pain stops.

What is weird is putting sex as a more important factor then what gender your mind is. Many would rather not live if they can not transition. That puts sex as a secondary factor. The question is are you more than willing to take that gamble? Remember after a few months on hormones you likely will never be able to father children.

This is not everyones experience but after 6months HRT I am a different person. And I love every minute of it, I do not miss my drive before, actually I never liked my sex drive before HRT. I too have certain times of the month when I am in heat but it's different than male sex drive. Best I can explain it is I can turn my sex drive on and off easily. I have changed a lot so much that people I worked with a year ago don't recognize me by looks or behavior, I went to get my hair done and the receptionist did not recognize me even though I worked with her for almost a year. For me all the changes are fantastic and happen in a natural way, so I wouldn't be fearful. I have heard of T-Girls in the sex traid who take small doses of HRT to preserve there sex drive and combine that with surgeries to make up for things. But if you ask me being a passable woman means giving up certain male things.

Quote from: lisagurl on October 29, 2007, 03:56:21 PM
According to data collected in many research papers about 35% of women do not have a sex drive or desire.

This seems to contradict my experience. Can you provide a source? I find it very difficult to believe that more than a quarter of women have zero sexual drive or desire at all. I realize there are many areas in the US and elsewhere where female sexuality is very much repressed, but I find the 35% figure questionable.

Quote from: lisagurl on October 29, 2007, 03:56:21 PM
I would think physically that the genitalia play a large role in the feeling. What is sex without the genitalia? Love is different than sex and does not need the genitalia. Physical closeness is also not sex, kissing, tickling etc.  Physical stimulation of the genitalia is sex.

I was thinking of "sex drive" as sexual feelings or attraction, which I think has little to nothing to do with genitals. It's hard to articulate, but an attractive man or woman can make you swoon or feel completely different, I wanted to know if those feelings still exist on HRT. I think kissing and tickling can fall squarely into the domain of "sex drive" the way I've defined it. We can call it the "kissing/tickling drive" if that makes everything clearer :-)

Quote from: lisagurl on October 29, 2007, 03:56:21 PM
What is weird is putting sex as a more important factor then what gender your mind is. Many would rather not live if they can not transition.

I'm not putting sex ahead of gender, and frankly, I'm a bit offended that people seem to be willing to make that assumption about me. I had a question about the effects of HRT on sex drive, and it seems like a fair chunk of the responses are attacking me for caring instead of answering my question.

(Sorry, mini-rant coming, this has been bothering me for a while)
To be honest, I sometimes feel like the online transsexual community is incredibly judgmental towards anyone who doesn't fit very neatly into idealized categories, and people seem very quick to proclaim how much more transsexual than everyone else they are. Of all the groups of people out there, this one should be the last group calling people "weird", people that have to put up with as much discrimination and harassment as transsexuals should know better.
(end mini-rant)

Quote from: Ember L on October 29, 2007, 08:59:48 PMI too have certain times of the month when I am in heat but it's different than male sex drive.

This is exactly what I mean by sex drive. It makes me happy to hear that a female sex drive exists, at least for some transwomen. I guess I have a pretty feminist view on female sexuality, but I think it's a pretty important part of being a woman, and denying it is a very bad thing.

I have seen a remarkable shift in my sexality, from fairly conventional male to something that seeks closeness and foreplay.  I have lost the desire to masturbate or to dive into quick intercourse, but I'm still very horny in the sense that I really love diving into bed with my wife and spending ungodly amounts of time kissing, touching, and loving. 

I really enjoy my body and my sensibilities right now, and have come to see my former sexuality as something that paradoxically erected more walls and increased distance between me and my lover. 

We're still working on how this is going to evolve, but for the past few months, I honestly couldn't be happier.

Joyce

That's amazing and beautiful Joyce :-)

Hi
As for me the sexual drive kind of died after 4 moths on hormone. Before that I was quite normal and active in the male mode. I just simply lost interest. I was three years into full time as a female and occasionally i could still get a dry orgasm but it was not a priority on my list of things to do during the day.  I have now been four years post-op and I really still don't feel that sex is a priority of the day but when I do have sex I find the orgasms very different and profoundly satisfying. And it really does help to have a partner that will hold and cuddle me and make me feel wanted and warm all over. It's wonderful to feel loved and needed.

Cindy

I would not call what you are talking about sex drive. I would call it the desire to love and be loved.

I that case it has nothing to do with hormones.

Quote from: lisagurl on November 03, 2007, 08:58:50 PM
I would not call what you are talking about sex drive. I would call it the desire to love and be loved.

I that case it has nothing to do with hormones.

From some of the other posts it seems like it changes a lot.

My T is low and my sex drive is very high.
A high estrogen level also gives a high sex drive.
many TS have a low sex drive because of low T AND E levels (too conservative)

High E levels during the menstruel cycle makes females receptive to sexi in humans as in all animals.

Keira I agree!

My sex drive has been ok (prior to SRS), but a certain time of the month for me it is off the charts. It is like I am in heat. It is going to be interesting to see how all of this works its self out now that I have had SRS. I will have to admit right now, it is not what I want to do at this point. On Halloween night I thought I starting to get that warm feeling all over again. This was a mental thing, and not physical. So hopefuly with some recovery time it will come back.

Deb

Being depressed has a big effect on Libido.  In dulls all motivation to action, including sexual actions.

But, ironically, being stressed increases libido.
Cortisol released during stress increases libido.
That's why sexual predators are more likely to act in stressfull periods.

Happy you're starting to feel better Deb.

Of course results vary from person to person.

I've noticed an increase in libido and even an increase in the force of ejaculations since being on HRT.

However, I find sex unpleasurable lately because the smell of genitilia is apparent to me as soon as the other party is declothed, and it makes me gag.

I didn't have much of a sex drive before HRT and I would say since being on HRT for the last 7 years, my sex drive hasn't increased or decreased....

For it's never been a big issue.....but obviously for men it's more important to them.

I don't know why it would be more important for men?
Meaning women can live without sex drive?
I've lived without sex drive for 40 years.
I hope the next 40 years will be better in that respect.

Like I said Berliegh, low estrogen levels and/or depression or feeling not desireble has an impact on sex drive.  Its suppressed, doesn't mean its normal not to have it.

Even in men aromatisation of testosterone in the brain is primordial to sex drive.
If estrogen is suppressed in men, they have a lower sex drive also even with a normal testosterone level.

This is one thing that has really, really suprised me about this place. So many people who don't care about sex, don't want sex, don't have or want a sex drive.

I love sex. I don't like penitrating anyone (was in a VERY sexual relationship for 4 years without me ever putting myself in someone else), never have. My penis has nothing to do with my sex drive (though it does want attention of its own), and those "orgasms" are unfufilling. It's when I'm pleasing someone else, or getting penitrated that I can experence an orgasm that's deep down, in my center, that effects my entire body and leaves me satisfied.

I couldn't imagine not wanting that.

Quote from: Cire on November 04, 2007, 11:54:21 AM
It's when I'm pleasing someone else, or getting penitrated that I can experence an orgasm that's deep down, in my center, that effects my entire body and leaves me satisfied.

For me, it revolves around WHY I'm wanted, and WHY I can please someone. Being desired in any way for my "maleness" is just horribly heartbreaking. It doesn't matter WHAT they or I do, it's the WHYs behind it that bother me. So my sexuality has always been just terribly frustrated. Sex with a gay man is just as bad as with a straight woman, as both would want me for my maleness.

Now that I look much more female (aside from the genitals), I dunno... we'll have to see what evolves. And after SRS, it's all good

~Kate~

sex doesnt influence my daily life. I dont even care about it, till i get into a situation that gets me turned on. im literally that polar, turned on or off. a guy kisses me, my tummy sortof melts, and im floating, its amazing. only then do i start wanting him in me, its like some primal urge and desire. pity i cant follow my feelings
R