Voice is okay.

I look os-os. (Simpsons reference #3482)

I need a lot more facial hair removal. (Only had about 50 hours of effective electro) I wasted probably 20 hours on a crappy local tech.

Passing is about 70%. It's probably never going to improve beyond that no matter what I do. Meh...oh well.

Hormones I would give about a 6.5/7. (Depending on how I feel that day)

Quote from: FalseHybridPrincess on March 17, 2014, 09:02:20 AM
to everyone else im just a guy (feminine , masculine it doesnt matter , all that matters is that im a guy to them)

I know how this feels as well and with the job I have working on the phones I'm required to use my legal name. Then again it also has a slight upside since I've been working on my voice I'm getting called miss and madem quite a bit more which makes me happy inside and even though I may not physically pass as a woman yet its good to know that I can pass vocally at least. Then again phones do change how people sound as well so who knows how well its going

Quote from: Carrie Liz on March 17, 2014, 02:18:00 PM
At 14 months in, here's my "ratings":

Self-acceptance 80%
Self-esteem 30%
Coming out 90%
Hair removal 80%
Voice training 70%
Socialisation as female 30%
Hormone changes 65%
Hair 50%
Wardrobe replacement 20%
Future employment prospects 10%

Just wanted to do a quick update to this, about another 6 months further along, 4.5 months into full-time, and 3 weeks into my first job as a girl:

Self-Acceptance: 80% (+0%)
I've honestly made no progress here. I'm still having pretty much the same doubts I had back in March. Still completely accepting of the fact that I'm never going off of hormones, but lacking that last bit of confidence that I really am a woman now. When my mom calls me her "daughter," I still feel like I don't deserve that title, and I'm still feeling like an "other" from cis women.

Self-Esteem: 65% (+35%)
BIG progress here. I am feeling SO good about who I am recently, and there's not a single day that I'm not happy that I'm presenting as female at work. So why only 60%? I'm still having HUGE problems with my appearance. I'm still having a lot of self-critical days where I'm feeling inadequate to cis-women and wishing that I could be more definitively feminine instead of feeling so huge and butchy and unfeminine in appearance. Going full-time and getting a job and being completely accepted REALLY gave me a huge boost here, though.

Coming Out: 100% (+10%)
Woohoo! I made it! \(^_^)/ Out to everyone, full-time, with a job now, and presumably stealth to most people at that new job.

Hair Removal: 80% (+0%)
No progress. Still dealing with a few stray hairs, but mostly gone, haven't gone in for any extra laser or electrolysis since I last posted.

Voice Training: 80% (+10%)
Going full-time and getting a new job was a big boost to this. I find myself speaking in the female range very naturally, and I've only been "sir"ed on the phone once in the entire last 10 months or so. However, I'm still not happy with it. It still takes conscious effort to sound feminine rather than fem-androgynous. It's WAY too low for someone my age. And I'm having a really hard time pushing it up the last few notes. I've had someone at work tell me "you have a deep voice," and I'm still WAY behind on getting the feminine inflections and pitch variations that a cis-woman has, so I'm still not completely happy with this, but I have been pretty blessed in the voice department all things considered. Still trying to decide whether VFS is worth the investment or not.

Socialization as female: 65% (+35%)
HUGE improvement here! Being around women who I'm presumably stealth to makes such a big difference. You learn very quickly what people talk to you about, what they expect of you, how you're supposed to act, what you're supposed to like, everything. I've still got a LONG way to go here, though. I'm still having a hard time with my habit of viewing women as "others," and getting nervous and standoffish around the beautiful waitresses at work, completely forgetting that I'm not a threat to them anymore, and likewise forgetting that I'm in a role where everyone expects me to be attracted to guys, so people saying the word "boyfriend" to me isn't a gay joke anymore. I'm still feeling a bit excluded from young cis-women's social circles, but I've had a LOT of progress here since last time. So this is improving and fast.

Hormone Changes: 65% (+0%)
This one shocked me, but frankly I feel like I've made NO progress since my last update. And my emotional state in regards to my appearance has actually gotten worse, which is why I've lowered the number. My boobs have been stuck at the exact same size since last November, my face has barely feminized at all since April, I still look really big and really masculine, and I'm still feeling like I'm barely passable, and like my femininity is very fragile and just past the threshold of passability. I'm still feeling really unpretty, masculine, mannish, whatever. I still hate my big chest cavity, the hair that hasn't regrown yet, my big wrists and knees and ankles, my lack of a decent hip or butt, I could go on. Again, I just don't feel female. I feel like my appearance is maybe 60% female 40% male at best, and it has really not gotten much better since my last post. In a pure level of whether I've feminized more or not, yes, I have. But how I feel about that feminization has gotten worse. I was hoping that I'd keep looking better and better and better, but for some reason it's just stalled instead. And I'm really bummed about that, and wishing I could look more naturally feminine.

Hair: 60% (+10%)
F*** my hair. Seriously. I HATE HATE HATE it and wish with everything I had that it could be more feminine. Yes, it is passing, yes, it is technically fine, which is why I have to give it a "passing" grade of 60%, but seriously, I hate my hair so much. I still have a recession pattern on the sides that makes me look completely male unless I cover it up, I still have a half-bald patch on the back, and it's still just refusing to grow at any decent rate of speed. It JUST now hit my shoulders, and I've been growing the damned stuff out for 19 months now. I'm frankly aggravated with it.

Wardrobe Replacement: 80% (+60%)
HUGE improvement here. I'm still looking for more, but yeah, I was forced to get a LOT of clothes in preparation for my new job, and I love them all, and I really don't see myself needing much more for the time being. I could still use more, and need to find more variety, but what I have now is more than good enough.

Future Employment Prospects: 90% (+80%)
After being terrified that I was NEVER going to get another job in my field after being fired due to my trans status as of my last update, I have a job again, and it's going to eventually lead me back to being a poker dealer, so everything is good here. I am SO happy that I got this job, you can't even believe it. (It will go up to 100% once I actually have that job. But for now I'm still a bit underemployed.)

Self-acceptance 10%
With that body? No!

Self-esteem 50%
I'm a very creative person, i know many things, have a high IQ, know many things about "beeing" ... but thats all. I'm not a kind of women that are sexy, pretty and men would like. I really love fashion but i can't live that.

Coming out 100%
Snow from yesterday

Hair removal 50%
Face is okay after a 15 session with laser. Arms and legs goes back with E2 after 20 month now.

Voice training 50%
I was a singer. Its okay for my daily routine but doesnt sound very feminine.

Socialisation as female 30%
I often have to do with people knew my as a man - so its difficult to say. Other people see my as a ordinary women ... but i cant live the whole spectrum of beeing a women. No flirting, no compliments, no bikinis, no swimming, not these, not that ...

Hormone changes 10%
Worst thing ive ever done.

Hair 10%
I hate my hair. Its thin, no volume, no denstity. It grew about 16cm (6 inch) in 2 years and stopped this year. Unbelievable!

Wardrobe replacement 80%
The only things i bought the last two years was fashion and heels/boots. Thats one of the nice things in my transition.

Future employment prospects 90%
I'm my own boss

Average: 48% 

Well peeps, today marks my 8 month mark on hrt, and since my last update was at around midway of the 4 month mark I thought it was time for an update as in a few areas there have been some significant changes. So, without further adieu, Here's where I'm at now:

Self Acceptance: (formerly 70%) 80%. This one takes an increase of 10% due to the fact my SRS has been moved up to if all goes well this December instead of December 2015. Sooner now I'll finally be whole after 50 years of living in between genders in my nether regions. I can actually now see a glimmering light of hope for a normal life and normal relationships, and finally finding and being able to be intimate with that special someone I've been searching for all my life at the end of this long dark tunnel. I'm so so happy over it I'm almost giddy. There is another reason my self acceptance has increased that will become obvious later in this update.

Coming Out: 100%. Here there hasn't been much change as everyone who matters to me knows. However, it should be noted I have lost a few more friends -all males, who just can't understand why I need to transform. The way I see it, they weren't really my friends in the first place(no change here as I'm already 100% full time).

Voice Training: (formerly 20%). Now 75%! Eureka!, everyone this girl has found her voice and is no longer getting sirred on the phone. This truly is monumental, for after 5 years of trying with no success I'd almost given up, resigned that my 91 accident just did too much damage, and achieving a feminine voice for me would be impossible. I will say that traditional voice training that works for others did nothing for me. Singing along to Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" and an old Niel Young song are what allowed the breakthrough after the miracle of hrt had raised my voice in pitch past damage from my accident. I still have a problem holding it for lengthy periods but have been successful in using my new voice exclusively out in public and especially, on the phone. Practice practice!

Socialization as Female: 100%. I pass without thinking about it, and have been doing so now for a number of years. Now-a-days it's just about living life as the girl/woman I've always been, so no change here. In addition driver's license gender marker has been changed along with all other documents to reflect me as female.

Hair Removal: (formerly 70%) 75%. I've had a little success here with just plucking the grays that are left, which haven't come back after doing so on my neck area. However in the end I'll need to book about 3 Electro sessions to completely clear my face.

Hormone Changes: (formerly 80%) 90%. I have had nothing but positive enhancements to my figure from hrt. Facial changes have been miraculous ranging from a shrunken brow ridge to my cheeks filling in, but two changes are just nothing less than phenominal: I used to have a curtain over my eyelids which has for the most part gone away, and in addition, the bags under my eyes have completely disappeared. I now look 25 years younger than I did pre hrt and can't get enough of the compliments I'm getting from friends and supportive family on how young and healthy I look. My booby's are now a B cup(I wear a 32B bra) and I must wear a bra for support at all times. Also they are still having growth spurts but not as prominent as before which is okay, they can slow down now, lol! I still have 10 pounds to lose, which should put me waist wise where I want to be.

Hair: (formerly 75%) now at 80% and steadily increasing daily! Here my hrt continues it's miracle as my problem areas continue to fill in and thicken. My bangs are now long enough I can pull them to one side and overall length continues to increase rapidly. I now have a nice thin part again. Something pre hrt I never thought I'd again have, YaY!

Wardrobe Replacement: 100%. No change here but more and more cute outfits and dresses make their way home with me. I love shopping for pretty things to wear. I'm steadily getting more summer dresses as I love these, and of course I need more shoes, I'll never get tired of shoe shopping.

Future Employment Prospects: Formerly 75%. Now 65%. Work prospects continue to decline the girlier looking I get. It seems the macho types can't see a cute 5-5, 118 lb. girl knowing what she's doing with boat and motor repair. Might be just a slow period, might be time for a career change, I dunno.

So in summary: Though I'm so so very happy and pleased with the enhancements and positive changes to my face, hair, and figure hrt has made and continues to make, my SRS is still the ultimate achievement necessary in my transformation to make me whole. All in all though, I live my life happily as the girl/woman I've always been, and only think about transformation or trans issues while here within this great community that continues to give so so much support, and sometimes when taking my med's. Other than these times I'm out there just living my life very happily with the challenges, wonders, and difficulty we women face in our daily lives.

Peace everyone!

Ali

I'm at 8 1/2 months since I started transitioning.

Self-acceptance 100%
I fully accept who I am. I know who I am and that's the only way I can be. It wasn't easy by any means as I use to have lots of doubts about my transition but over time I have learned to accept myself.

Coming out 99%
I'm out to everyone that knows me. The only one's I'm not out to are my niece and nephew and that's not by my design. I'm not allowed to see them as me so for the time being I'll always be stuck at 99%. In many cases most of my "world" know I'm transgender as I have been steadily getting involved in the transgender activism scene as we DESPERATLY need individuals who are willing to put themselves out there for those of us who can't let their voice be heard. It's risky on my part but since I pass so well and am so incredibly nice you just can't but help liking me. I don't know what it is about me but I'm infectious when it comes to winning people over to my side.

Hair removal 80%
I've been doing laser hair removal since November 2013 and starting in September I'll be doing electrolysis to kill off the remaining light colored hairs. My five o'clock shadow is gone and the only parts that remain are my mustache and I couldn't be happier. All I do each day is shave in the morning for my own sake as I can't stand to feel the whiskers but nobody notices them.

Voice training 90%
I'm very proud of the work I've put into my voice. I get gendered correctly over the phone, in person you would never know unless my voice is getting tried after talking for many hours throughout the day. When I came out to my boss he actually knew of a voice therapist and was very worried for me as he had no clue as to what I actually sound like. When I came to work on my first day of living full time he was blown away. I was in another person's office talking to them and he was wondering who the voice of this new woman belongs too. After that he said I'd be wasting my time if I saw the voice therapist but I still saw her to see where I was really at and she was IMPRESSED! I still don't think my voice is good enough but everyone tells me I sound amazing but I look at this as my self conscious voice in my head is spurring me on to do better.

Socialization as female 100%
As much as I detest the word pass, I have to say that I do pass completely. Everyone I know treats me no differently than any other woman. I might be 5'11" tall Amazon woman but very few people have ever questioned my gender to my face in the time that I've been transitioning. Just yesterday I went to a new doctor to continue & modify my HRT regiment. The nurse who was taking my vitals and asking me questions as to why I was there asked me why I was on a hormone regiment. Before I could tell her I was transgender she blurted out "oh you must have had a hysterectomy! I'm so sorry" The look on her face when I told her I was transgender was a Kodiak moment! So even though I don't think enough about myself everyone in public who does not have knowledge of me being transgender only see me as a tall woman I go to a weekly women's yoga class and even though I did basically out myself to the group through the yoga teacher asking her group if it would be ok if a transgender woman joins the group, they all see me as me even though most of them DO know that I am biologically male. They only see me as a woman in every way and have admitted it to me and the teacher. They were apprehensive at first but once they got to know me they couldn't see how I ever was a guy

Hormone changes 65%
On hormones for the past 8 1/2 months Lots of changes, emotional, skin, facial, hair growth has slowed on my body, body fat is going to the right places, I actually have a very good figure. I could list everything but a lot has changed for me in all positive ways from being on HRT. The only thing's I'm not happy about is my breast growth, I'm just around a A cup right now and am not happy. I'm deathly afraid that I'll go bald so thankfully my new doctor put me on one of the two new medications I wanted to add to my regiment which was Finasteride to help out with what ever male pattern baldness has set in at 30 years old.

Hair 100%
Even when I was 100% in the closet the one thing I couldn't live without was my hair. It's down to just below my shoulder blades, curly and very pretty. I get compliments on my hair ALL the time which makes me feel soooooooooooooo good. Especially when you can tell people are actually jealous of a transgender woman having beautiful hair haha.

Wardrobe replacement 75%
I have enough clothes to wear to work for 3 weeks without re wearing the same item minus my form fitting khaki pants which are a requirement. I badly want to wear a skirt or dress but since I work in a factory that isn't going to happen any time soon unless I get a upfront office job. I do like the job I have though, I still get to wear very cute blouses at least and I get compliments on my style a lot. I still have a long way to go but eventually I'll have a pretty impressive wardrobe

Future employment prospects 100%
I am transitioning on the job and I have upper management on my side. My boss has said some of the most wonderful things about me that I never even knew he felt. Like when I came out to him after legally changing my name we went to tell the plant manager and hr manager about my transition. During our meeting he told both of them that if he loses me as an employee for any reason that his department would go under and that we needed to do our best "as a company" to retain me as I am a very good and skilled worker. When it was announced that there was a transgender person transitioning at work and that I was me "spread by word of mouth once I announced it to the department I worked in" I have been met with 99% acceptance. There are only a few jerks who don't use the right pronouns but I let them slide right now until I'm at the 3 month's of being full time and then I'll start cracking down on the few that refuse to use the right pronouns and are just rude for no reason. I have so many people at work cheering me on to be me and a bunch of people have come up to me and said they were proud of me. I NEVER expected that I would receive this level of acceptance at work since I do work in the bible belt south. It probably does help me a lot that management IS on my side so nobody is willing to risk their employment to discriminate or harass me.

Happiness level 100%
I couldn't be happier with where I am in my transition right now. I never thought I'd be where I am right now both physically and mentally.

Self-acceptance 5%
Still can't stand to look in the mirror

Self-esteem 40%
I like the personally I have but it seems I am not able to fully express myself outword just yet

Coming out 50%
I have told select family and friends and I'm seeing a therapist, I hope it all works out

Hair removal 0%
I still forget to shave some mornings and working on that habit first

Voice training 75%
I like the way my voice sounds and without a name or face I can pass as a woman in most cases already

Socialisation as female ?%
I would hang out with women like I do now talking about boys clothes and bras. Not sure what else there is to change.

Hormone changes 10%
Worst thing ive ever done.

Hair 40%
Its getting there. I hear hormones help that substantially also.

Wardrobe replacement 0%
I don't even have a full mans wardrobe much less a woman's

Future employment prospects 0%
The place I'm at is very accepting to the point one of the managers is trans and a few SR manages are gay.

I've been transitioning for a long time. While I'm not exactly sure when it started, I've been full time for 9 months now.

Self-acceptance 90%
I would have said 100%, but something that happened little over a month ago showed me that I've a little further to go. I was being afforded so much success in transition that I started to hide and resent being trans. At least partly due to a toxic attitude towards difference in my family growing up. Anyway, once you do that, suddenly it becomes something hurtful back. And someone poked me there... It was a painful but vitally important experience.

Self-esteem 65%
I guess like most women, my self esteem is tied into the way I look too. Not that anyone would know... I hide it well and stay in positive company. This figure will keep going up with ffs, ba and grs, but likely never quite hit 100%. Or maybe it will, who knows.

Coming out 100%
Coming out to people who knew the person before me, 100%. Coming out to people who never met the other person, 0%.

Hair removal 95%
Talking just about the face here, I'm at 95% The end is in sight, and the current growth is nothing.

Voice training 95%
My voice is good... I've never been misgendered over the phone, and it survives for many hours talking a day. It still takes effort to maintain, and will continue to improve a little over time. I'm also trying to develop a female singing voice. Now that is hard! But I'm making progress slowly...

Socialisation as female 100%
I'm just like any other girl out there in all situations. This isn't something I've ever had to really think about at all. It all came naturally.

Hormone changes 50%
This is a tough one... My body still has not give up the fight, and continues to try and surge T through my blood. I need to be very careful with my regimine to keep it steady. Just one forgotten dose can upset the balance. And it still happens from time to time . I can see the difference in skin, nails and hair, as well as all mental aspects. So I suspect there will be further changes when the factories are gone. I cannot wait!

Hair 90%
I love my hair . It's not terribly thick, but it does look beautiful all by itself. It tends to curl at the ends, straight at the start. And I've a beautiful color too. I'd love it to be thicker and stronger... And once the T factories are gone, that may just happen too.

Wardrobe replacement 100%
There's nothing really to say. I've something to wear regardless of my mood. And some days I still can't find something to wear

Future employment prospects %
I'm employed in a stable position now, although will be trying to swap careers in a few years. Given my age alone, it's going to be tough. Throw in looking for a partner and starting a family, and yep. Tough. I'll find a way still.

Average: 87%

Self-acceptance 20%
I've accepted myself as trans and I'm on hormones now but I feel like it's all too little too late. Coming out to friends, presenting as female, going full-time - it all seems so far impossible and it's overwhelming me. I don't want to be 30 and still have this horrible penis but I can't even start making steps towards surgery until I'm living socially as a woman. What do I do!!! I can't bear to look in the mirror without concerning myself over every little flaw. I still break down when I see an old photo of myself at 14 or 15.

Coming out 5%
I haven't told anyone but my parents. And they basically act like it never happened and ignore it.

Hair removal 75%
Only did one laser session so far but I didn't have much facial hair to begin with. Down to about ~50 hairs on my face.

Voice training 10%
I don't have a female voice so this might as well be 0%. Tried practicing a bit on my own but I just get really discouraged really quickly. I cannot figure resonance out. Recordings of my voice just sound off and I don't know what to do to change it. I can't get any consistency - every recording sounds completely different. I think I may need professional help... if I could afford it.

Socialization as female 0%
No. I mean I used to when I was younger but between my family always telling me I was an embarrassment and constant bullying and beatings in school, I stopped. It's all come back now and I'm just too scared it's going to be that all over again. I'll do anything not to be the freak again.

Hormone changes
On hormones for 9 weeks so far and seeing some nice changes. Skins changed, hips are growing, breasts are growing. My face still looks 100% male. I doubt HRT will be enough to cover up my bone structure.

Hair 25%
Been growing my hair for 7 months and it just looks like a frizzy unkempt mess that still doesn't even extend past my jaw. I can finally do a makeshift ponytail for neater hair while out as a guy, so that's an improvement

Wardrobe replacement 5%
I'm buying some girly and androgynous pieces here and there. A pair of pants or a jacket. Haven't really bought anything daring yet and nothing clearly feminine.

Future employment prospects 75%
If I can get through med school without killing myself, I think I'll have a job...

I'm at the very beginning but I thought it would be a good starting point to rate how things are so far.

Self-acceptance 100%
I could never be happier embarking on my journey. All my life I have dreamed of this. I am me. I am woman. Hear me roar!


Coming out 5%
Wife knows, kids sorta know (I dress in front of them), one or two coworkers know, HR knows, trans friends IRL know.

Hair removal 20%
Full speed ahead with electrolysis. Hair is clearing faster than I imagined. Yes, it's a bit of pain, but no pain no gain. I actually enjoy the conversations with the electrologist (who is also trans).


Voice training 1%
I have zero voice training. Well let me rephrase that, zero MtF voice training. I do have voice training for other stuff... I called a speech pathologist and hope we can set something up.

Socialisation as female 0% or N/A
Totally not even dreaming of being there yet.

Hormone changes 10%
Did some DIY but stopped. Had some good effects. Had some stuff (moobs/boobs, carry angle, hip rotation) from before, probably due to low T and other factors. Starting officially soon, in about a month.

Hair 10%
It's growing. Bangs reach halfway to my eyebrows now. Depending on how I style it, I can look like a girl with short hair.


Wardrobe replacement 10%
I have a few things, know my size but expect it to change. I have underwear for every day of the week and I pretty much stopped wearing guy underwear. I have dresses, jeans, shirts, etc. Need more clothes.

Future employment prospects 100%
Transitioning on the job but finding a job has never really been hard for me. I have been recruited by top companies so I am in demand.

3 years HRT

Self-acceptance 100%
Self-esteem 10%
Coming out 5%
Hair removal 10%(but i only have upper lip hair so i will just say 10% but if this is also body then well 0%)
Voice training 0%(My confidence always scares me off from trying)
Socialisation as female 0%(I was betrayed a lot when I first came out 4 years ago and lost everyone)
Hormone changes 100%(Doubt they will do anything else for me)
Hair 100%(I have perfect hair and I do mean perfect I have been offered money for me to cut it so people can make extensions out of it @.@)
Wardrobe replacement 0%(I dont think a few sports bras count as they just added not replaced)

All in all I am no where .
Future employment prospects 10%

I am pre-HRT, just starting and I won't put percentages on each but here it goes
Self-acceptance
I have walked a long path and gone a long, however I honestly don't think I accept myself fully yet. Yes, it is so much better now but I still have days when I feel completely ugly and wonder if I will ever find love. If someone tells me there is a guy who finds me cute, I will most likely not believe them.

Self-esteem
much better, I feel more confident and am facing ny fears and moving forward.

Coming out
My brother, mom and dad know and my brother is completely accepting. Though, not my parents. My sister doesn't know as she is living abroad, I am afraid how she will react especially as she has been an only daughter and the apple of my parents' eyes, so yeah. My best friend knows and is accepting. I have two other who kinda know or at least have a clue.

Hair removal
I don't have much facial hair and don't really get a shadow. I had my first laser treatment on my chin and upper lip, the only places I have. I am very lucky here and might not need many sessions. Thank God

Voice training
My voice never broke and this constantly got me ridicularized. I pass as a girl on the phone always. Together with mannerisms, it made me a pariah in HS.  That and my overall personality, likes, hobbies, the way I move,  whatever.

Socialisation as female
I have no idea, until I am full time, this probably  won't be accurate. But I guess for the most part I am treated like I am weaker, more sensitive and naive for acting and sounding girly. Women feel comfortable to confide in me and so my friends.  Still not the same as being treated as female by everyone but certainly comes with different perks than being taken as hetero cis guy.

Hormone changes done.
Not started.

Hair
I  growing it out and loving it. But UGH it takes time. Mainly because it is curly.

Wardrobe replacement 0%
haven't changed one bit but I don't wear very butch clothes and have been wearing tighter jeans.

Self-acceptance 95%
There is very little that makes me insecure these days.  As RuPaul said, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love anybody else?  Can I get an Amen!"

Coming out 100%
My family knows, my husband knows.  Close friends know.  Outside of that I am full accepted as female.  What is there to come out about?

Hair removal 90%
Getting Laser, have one more appointment until I am done, and go back for maintenance.

Voice training 100%
My voice never got low, always been naturally high, always been ma'amed, even before transition.  That was the easiest thing in my transition

Socialisation as female 100%
When you can get married in front of 200 people and nobody but close friends and family know you are trans!  Then you got it down!

Hormone changes 85%
On Hormones for almost 2 years.  Seeing lots of changes.  Boobs constantly getting bigger (YAY).

Hair 100%
I started growing out my hair pre-transition and it is almost to my but now!

Wardrobe replacement 5%
Simply a 5 because I will NEVER get enough clothes!  I have NO male clothes anymore, but will never have enough clothing!!!!

Future employment prospects 90%
Once name change is fully complete it will be 100.

Name change will go through this next month.  Once that is done, that is my biggest hurdle.

Ok i'll bite and consider this a good exercise for a point in time to look back at.

Self acceptance; 90% There are down days and features I don't like but knowing and finally accepting myself as trans is great.  Every day brings some joy when all i gotta do is squeeze myself.  Self acceptance remains the biggest hurdle and greatest change in my life.  I also accept that i lived a long full life as a guy with a girl in shadow and transitioning adds a new era and truth to my life without erasing my past.

Self esteem;  80% Hmmm, most days i am full of confidence and a comfortable sense of self worth and then there are the blues to be sung for the insecurity, fears and doubts that are less often but still real to deal with.

Coming out; 100%  My story has been on the front page of our daily newspaper, in a local magazine and I love being OUT and clearly transgender to many.  Everyone knows me as Tessa who transitioned and that is the truth.  I feel fortunate to have nothing to hide and no stereotypes to fit into.   I like being approachable and having teachable moments to share.

Hair removal;  60% (This must be for MtFs only)   I have had laser and the hormones have been wonderful for my body hair.  Unfortunately I am pain adverse and avoid getting the dang beard hairs electrocuted one by one seems tedious and expensive at best.  I am procrastinating and shaving still

Voice training;  40% I have availed myself of help from a speech pathologists but found i was not doing the homework.  Part of my philosophical challenge is the very nature of what "having a voice" means.  How i sound to others is no measure of my gender identity or femininity for that matter.   Had i started transition at 16 instead of 60 my efforts might be more diligent and not feel like such a loss of self to me.  And then it could be that i'm just complacent since I would really love to sing a sweet soprano.

Socialization as female  100%  I love living full-time as myself and accept that I am a female with a different history than most.  Still the validation that comes from having all my identification papers and documents declare me female is a wonderful feeling.  That goes for the much ballyhooed bathroom deal too, only female for this girl.  living as female includes all aspects of my life.  I once worried about working in my old rough neck roles but all kinds of women drive tractors, work farms and clear trails too.  Being female is freedom for me.

Hormone changes  75% ?  That is a hard one to know as I am just over 2 years in and I know people who have continued to experience changes for many years past that.  I would say I am very happy with the changes I have to date.  I delayed transition for too long because I thought it had to remake me into a totally passable woman.  I have learned a lot since then and continue to be grateful for having a mind at peace and a body far more congruent with my identity.  The changes to my libido and emotional range are particularly welcome as is this smooth skin and these lovely, perky, teenaged sort of breasts and butt. 

Hair  90%  I love long hair and have worn it very long most of my adult life.  The family genetics have been good to me with a full supply.  I still need to improve my styling and hair care routines but getting there is part of the process.

Wardrobe replacement  90%  I have no more room for more clothes and shoes but love shopping, especially the thrifts, and finding clothes that allow me to express myself and feel so free to do so.  I have my old boy clothes for farm and field work as needed but recognize that clothes really don't make the man .

Future employment  0%  I need no prospects and am comfortably retired after a successful career as an anesthetist.  I feel kinda bullet proof as I have no bosses or coworkers to appease and, in fact, i am chair of the board for several organizations and elected to public office by my neighbors.  Still, I am well aware of how difficult it can be to be out on the job.  Most of my coworkers considered me gay or eccentric with long hair, manicured nails and women's jewelry.  They often revealed their homophobia in words and hateful biases.  I retired as soon as i was eligible.  The work place is gaining some protections but it is not a fair place yet considering hearts and minds.

I am really very happy with a transition I consider a dream denied and now come true.  I feel fortunate to be here and sharing with all of you.

I had my GRS in 1987, so I've been through the social grinder so to speak.

Self-acceptance 100% This is the one that is hardest to face, I believe. I don't know why. We push for this our whole lives and then when we get it, we still have doubts about ourselves. It took me a few years to run away from my past. Even here in California where gays were accepted at the time, transgendered people were not. So professionally, I had to live completely stealth or not work.

Self-esteem 95% I'd be a liar if I don't doubt myself from time to time. But it has nothing to do with transgender issues. Those are so far in the past that it's hard for me to remember unless I go back to my diaries. Oh... KEEP  DIARIES. You might want them someday, like if you want to write a book about your life.

Coming out 15%  My family knows but most of my close friends don't. They met me as who I am not who I was. I don't have a problem with that distinction. But my family lives in another state, so it's not hard to keep them divided like that.

Hair removal 100% This was the most painful and long endurance run of everything. We didn't have laser back then. And it was hair by hair. i only did my face and I'm glad I didn't do anything else because the other body hair went on permanent vacation.

Voice training 100% I can do it. I trained myself with a tape answering machine. I have recordings here in the threads. I can't maintain it though. I suppose it doesn't matter. I get by fine even when I drop a step or two. I have been thinking about going to Yeson. But geez, that's a lot of money and I may be moving this year or next. I might need the cash for that. There was a time when I would have gone for it without question. I would have put it on credit cards.

Socialisation as female 100%  I have no issues whatsoever... oh, except one. I'm a size 8 for pants and an XL or 14 for my top. There are two reasons for that. Now why in the world can't I find a dress that fits my boobs and my skinny butt? There are a lot of junior sizes that work but I'm not much of a junior anymore.

Hormone changes  I don't know. I'm fine. Hormones didn't do all that much for me. Maybe they softened my face a bit? Not much.

Hair I still have it where it counts and everywhere else, it sort of went away. I don't even have to shave my legs.

Wardrobe replacement 100% by several times. My weight went up with diabetes but over the  past five years, I've brought it down below where I was in high school and that's with this extra 7 pounds I carry on my chest. I've had to replace stuff 4 times recently so it won't fall off. I am very happy with the result. Now I can buy stuff off the rack.

Future employment prospects zilch. I have ended my career. I'm still young enough to work. But why should I? I have enough to get buy. I'm sort of poking around for something part time and interesting but I want no schedule. I can meet dates for projects but a daily schedule is out of the question. I never know what I'll want to do each day.

A lot has changed since this was first posted. I do remember this thread though, it looks fun and interesting. Here it is:

Self-acceptance - 95%
Never liked myself when I looked in the mirror. Now, I think I'm gorgeous. I've made progress I never dreamed possible before I started transitioning.

Self-esteem  - 90%
I can now easily pass in public but I still will soon have FFS to smooth the rough edges. My body shape is about 85% hourglass and my hips have that female look, plus I have a 27" waist that helps. My trans friends compliment me on my looks all the time. My cheeks and complexion seem to be a big hit to everyone.

Coming out - 75%
Came out to important family members. Still want to come out to friends who've always known me as an alpha male.

Hair removal - 95%
Pictures of me even a few years back are disturbing to me. Electrolysis is a godsend. I might have laser on my arms and other parts but my face is most important.

Voice training - 65%
Sometimes I'll find the perfect pitch and other times it's off. I can switch my "old" voice off but my female voice needs work but with constant practice I'll get it.

Socialisation as female - 75%
I feel way more comfortable since people started calling me miss and ma'am. I do get shook sometimes as I don't know how other people see me.

Hormone changes - 100%
I've been on the same proven formula for 5 1/2 years straight.

Hair 40%
It's been growing quite nicely for the past few months. After FFS I'll look into getting extensions.

Wardrobe replacement 30%
Over the past few months, passing has given me extra confidence and now shop freely wherever I want, where as before I hesitated. Full time is on the horizon and now I am preparing my wordrobe as such. I don't even consider my new things to be "female", they're just clothes. I've thought to myself, me wearing my old "mens" clothes doesn't even make anymore sense. I do like tight things that show off my body to add to my passing. Also buying cute shoes whenever possible. 

Future employment prospects - pretty ->-bleeped-<-ty
My employment lately has been spotty, the economy is ->-bleeped-<-ty, after FFS I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I've worked for biased ->-bleeped-<-s who want the male who fits into the business culture, which I absolutely can't be anymore. I'll find something to do with my experience and skills.

Don't lose hope... I've been there. Many times. Laughed at, ridiculed and suffered in silence... through discipline and hard work, 6 years later I rose like phoenix from the ashes, against all odds. I became one tough cookie! I stepped THROUGH the pain, and got rewarded with a beautiful life.

I never thought I would be able to pass, but eventually I did. It took me years. I went FROM: being seen as a male, laughed at as transgender, not passable, ever wondering if I could ever see myself as a woman, not knowing if anyone would be able to love me. TO: 6 years later, now I am passable and in a position where I can choose men who want to date me.

Quite weird, but awesome. Most progress came after SRS. Some says SRS doesn't change much, but for me it changed everything. As if I have a new aura, if you believe in such a thing... Completely reborn.

Don't forget. It's the darkest before dawn...

self acceptance  98%
I am a very decisive person but I still  have insecure moments. Mostly I know who I am and that this transitioning thing is the right thing to do. My self esteem is closely tied to this.

coming out  10%
I have identified myself as a transperson to a very small group of people. Only close family and friends are aware of my issue. To the general public I am female and nothing but. Most other people are unaware of my history or don't recognise me and I don't really see old friends from before anymore so I can be as female as I choose without much retaliation.

hair removal  5%
I still can grow a bit of a beard but I shave close often enough that it doesn't really show. I have however researched nearby hair salons and will be getting my facial hair delt with very soon. Mum and dad will be assisting me with paying for hair removal.

voice training  100%
I have alot of fun impersonating my mum when people call. This was the first thing I worked on when I began transitioning.

socialisation  80%
I love shopping with the girls and join in with girl time when I can but I am soo not a party animal. I agree with Christine Eryn when she mentioned being more comfortable when people identify you as female. It is such an emotional boost.

hormone changes  95%
The changes have been dramatic since begining transition at 19 and even though no-one really ever identifies me as male, I still pick myself appart. I still wish that my hips/butt were bigger ect.

hair  50%
As girly my hair looks, it's about half as long as I want it.

wardrobe replacement   100%
There is only a few male clothes welcome in my collection and they are cute and they are jumpers.

future employment  70%
I am currently unemployed but it is nothing I can't handle. I have a diploma of childrens services and there is plenty of work around when I feel ready to re-enter the work force. I can always do casual childcare work.

Quote from: galaxy on August 29, 2014, 03:07:15 PM
Self-acceptance 10%
Self-esteem 50%
Coming out 100%
Hair removal 50%
Voice training 50%
Socialisation as female 30%
Hormone changes 10%
Hair 10%
Wardrobe replacement 80%
Future employment prospects 90%

Average: 48% 

Today, 30month hormones, breast augmentation

Self-acceptance 30%
After reaching around 60kg and breast surgery its better
Self-esteem 60%
Coming out 100%
Hair removal 40%
Got more testo with the injections ... more facial hair, more body hair 
Voice training 50%
Socialisation as female 70%
Hormone changes 10%
Still no major changes since over 2 years.
Hair 0%
Growth stopped at 25cm (around 10inch)
Wardrobe replacement 100%
Future employment prospects 90%

Average: 55%
So, its a bit better ... give me another few years, its a long way to myself

Joan, what a seriously cool thread.  I wish it were more active as I just stumbled upon it searching for something rather unrelated.  If this filled up, it could be compiled as a super-useful snapshot of various transfolks voices.  Anyway, for posterity, here's mine:

Self-acceptance: 90% - Since overcoming the internalized transphobia and confronting my condition head on, I've been a staunch ally to myself for the first time in my life.  It's amazing being on your own side for a change.  When I first made the decision, it was a last resort before ending it all but it has become far more than just a life saver.  I actually like me now.  A lot. 


Coming out: 80% - Technically, I could put this as 100% but I really don't know who I'm out to and who I'm not.  My wife pretty much made the announcement right after I cut off all social media and contact methods to the dead me and created a fresh start.  Most of my extended family is not in her social realm so I honestly don't know if they know.  I imagine one or two must have caught word of it and then spread it around but, I'm not sure.  I live totally openly now and "present" full-time (still not that obvious, though).  My father might not know even though I was totally myself when I saw him last... I guess that's a consequence of always looking a bit "alternative" while growing up and perhaps he just thinks it's my style now.  In any case, I'm not in any sort of closet and I let whoever finds out find out.


Hair removal: 50% - Super stubborn upper lip and not totally clear anywhere on my face but almost to a point where I can hide my shadow after six laser sessions.  I have one more coming up and then I will move on to electrolysis.  My body hair is a different story.  I'm not stressing about it yet until I see what HRT has in store for me in that department.  Already, it seems to grow back slower now after I wax and it is definitely softer but that could also just be wishful thinking. 


Voice training: 5% - The only reason I even get a 5% is because I acknowledge that it is a problem.  I've always had a deep voice.  I mean deeeep.  When I sing, I often sound like David Gahn from Depeche Mode or Peter Steel from Type O Negative.  That's a difficult place to start.  I practice when I get a chance but I can not bring myself to do it in front of anybody other than my six-year-old and she's always encouraging.  I'm at the stage now that I can get the pitch and I've sort of figured out the "pinch" thing but I'm still hoping I get that magical moment so many somehow experience where it just "clicks" into the proper voice.  This might be the part of transition I'm least optimistic about.


Socialization as female: 100% - This is difficult for me to answer.  I've always had female friends and I socialize with them the same way my wife socializes with her female friends.  I think this question is only difficult when trying to socialize with the average crowd which I never really encounter.  Nor want to.  I'm happy with the way I socialize as a human.

Hormone changes: 99% - I've only been on for about 4 1/2 months but the changes are there.  Mostly, it's how my brain and body seems to finally recognize each other.  My general dysphoria went from a 10 to a 3 in about two weeks after starting.  The only reason I didn't say 100% is because my physical changes are minimal so far.  I seem to be getting some neat shapes and a bit of breast growth along with slower body hair and pretty skin but all of that pales in comparison to what it has done for my inner-being.  If society wasn't so hung up on the gender binary, I'd probably be content with HRT alone (with SRS down the road). 


Hair: 100% - Had super long and thick hair when I started and it's only gotten shorter from there.  I absolutely love my new hair style.  This is one area of my transition I have no worries about.


Wardrobe replacement: 80% - Boy clothes finally all donated or sold.  My wife and I can fit into pretty much all of the same clothing so my wardrobe seriously grew when I went "full-time".  We don't share the exact same style so there are quite a few outfits I need to assemble as I go but, overall, I lucked out here.


Future employment prospects: 80% - I'm currently a student and freelance web designer.  Beyond that, my wife and I have a business we plan to grow.  If I ever did have to get an actual job again, I don't see my gender status as a huge obstacle in the sort of jobs I would be applying for.  It would narrow the field down a bit for me but not eliminate it.

Overall?  I'm nowhere near "complete" but I'm content and that's good enough for now.  I know I don't "pass" but that goal is becoming less and less important as my general happiness grows.  I may end up with FFS someday or I may not need or want it.  It is difficult for me to predict now and my outlook of my future is drastically different than it was a year ago.  That is a wonderful thing to be able to say.