I agree, Andro. You need more help than comments on a message board. I'm a big believer in therapy, even if it's just talk therapy. Your self-esteem issues go beyond just being transgender, it seems. I can understand your feelings, I've been there. Many of us have. You're not wasting anyone's time. We wouldn't be responding if we didn't care. You are worthy of love, not only from others, but from yourself. Learn to love yourself and the other love will follow.
Good luck and hugs! Remember you are not alone.