Quote from: sam1234 on May 14, 2015, 11:53:30 PM
I sounds as though this particular Walmart was acting on its own and perhaps is not true of all their stores. Part of whether transgenders get picked out probably depends on whether or not there is still something that allows the employees to recognize someone as transgender.

Calling the manager is not a bad idea. Even if you don't plan on doing this, a threat to go to the media is often enough to turn a store around. If this store is in a rural area and the only Walmart around, bad press would definately scare them.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. No matter what someone looks like,  they should not be singled out or made fun of, which, in my mind includes groups pointing at an individual. i child i could overlook, but not a teen or adult.

sam1234

I disagree. The entire responsibility for picking out/picking on transgender people is on the pickers themselves, not who we are or what we look like.

We are human, after all. We deserve politeness and civil behavior on that status alone.

Quote from: sam1234 on May 14, 2015, 11:53:30 PM
Part of whether transgenders get picked out probably depends on whether or not there is still something that allows the employees to recognize someone as transgender.

I'm not sure what the point of this sentence is.

Whether someone is seen as transgender is for the most part not in their control, it's in the control of the perceiver.  Even cis people sometimes get "clocked" as trans.

And whether someone passes or not shouldn't matter.  I well understand trans people's desire to not catch all the @#$% that gets thrown at people who are perceived to be trans.  But IMHO, our point should be that people should not be harrassed for what they look like, whether that's trans, goth, fashion "crimes", or being considered "bad looking."  That's called civilization.

Quote from: rachel89 on May 14, 2015, 09:27:44 PM
I am kind of looking for some forgiveness here. there were a lot things wrong with what I said. if I could get some responses to my apology, it would be nice.

I gave you my forgiveness yesterday in the form of a positive reputation point. Apologies are the lubricant of life!

Hugs, Devlyn

No worries. Sometimes we can all get that way. I'm glad you took the time to apologize though. It shows how wonderful of a person you are. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: rachel89 on May 14, 2015, 09:27:44 PM
I am kind of looking for some forgiveness here. there were a lot things wrong with what I said. if I could get some responses to my apology, it would be nice.

I had an occurance in 2012 at a thrift store (famous one) and I was shopping for clothes with a voucher from a charity, they at first wanted to deny me...saying the clothes I had were for women. I had to spend 5 minutes explaining that I was transgender just to get the clothes. They did at least apologize at the end of the sale.

Quote from: rachel89 on May 14, 2015, 08:05:48 PM
I was being a little to snarky and I crossed the line. I hope you will accept my apology.

No worries.

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on May 15, 2015, 11:53:31 AM
I had an occurance in 2012 at a thrift store (famous one) and I was shopping for clothes with a voucher from a charity, they at first wanted to deny me...saying the clothes I had were for women. I had to spend 5 minutes explaining that I was transgender just to get the clothes. They did at least apologize at the end of the sale.

Really? Is being female even a requirement to buy women's clothes? Good god almighty.

No kidding. Is a man not allowed to buy clothes for his wife or girls? There are plenty of non-LGBT reasons as to why that is completely stupid.

Quote from: iKate on May 15, 2015, 02:14:30 PM
Really? Is being female even a requirement to buy women's clothes? Good god almighty.

Shawn had a voucher. That adds a level of complication. Vouchers have to be used by the person they're issued for. If that person is a minor they can reasonably expect the minor to be present. They want to avoid someone selling the voucher (food stamps, whatever) for cash and buying something else.

well i proved I was the one with the voucher. I should add that she looked at me and plainly said "you don't look like a woman to me"  but that was a while ago.

My experiences at Walmart have been good ones so far, but to be fair they did think I was buying for a girlfriend or another woman etc. But sometimes I just tell them upfront, especially If I see that the person (usually a young woman) is being nice to me, I can pick up on clues that she realizes its for me and that she totally understands.

I'm all for forgiveness

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on May 15, 2015, 04:26:48 PM

My experiences at Walmart have been good ones so far, but to be fair they did think I was buying for a girlfriend or another woman etc. But sometimes I just tell them upfront, especially If I see that the person (usually a young woman) is being nice to me, I can pick up on clues that she realizes its for me and that she totally understands.

Well, they don't a ask, I don't tell. I presented male many times buying women's clothing at Walmart. Nobody has said anything other than the usual chatter I get from the cashiers about how their day is so busy etc. No big deal at all.

I was buying a pair of high heeled half boots last spring at DSW and had a really nice conversation with the cashier, an older lady. I was in male drag and she had no doubt whatsoever that they were for me. It was one of the most pleasant shopping experiences I've ever had, AND they were only $25,, down from $70!

I actually purchased my first women's clothing items from Wal-Mart. I was really self-conscious at the time and think I got stares from customers, but no problems with employees. my best experiences were at H&M, where one of the employees is really helpful (and finds trans people fascinating, but not in a creepy way) while my worst was at Goodwill, where another customer said he would beat the sh*t out of me if no one was watching.

Quote from: rachel89 on May 15, 2015, 11:04:25 PM
I actually purchased my first women's clothing items from Wal-Mart. I was really self-conscious at the time and think I got stares from customers, but no problems with employees. my best experiences were at H&M, where one of the employees is really helpful (and finds trans people fascinating, but not in a creepy way) while my worst was at Goodwill, where another customer said he would beat the sh*t out of me if no one was watching.

Wow! That is just mind blowing.

Nobody says anything to me when shopping except sometimes at kohls elderly ladies would try small talk.

Quote from: stephaniec on May 15, 2015, 04:44:46 PM
I'm all for forgiveness

My experience tells that the average education level of Wal-mart employee is very low, and their salary is also very low. They are actually poor people. What can I expect from them?

Of course there are many nice employees there, but the chance is that you can face that kind of incident there in Wal-mart at any time.

Here in my country, those employees at such a big store chain get intensive education regarding customer care, and always are ready to first say like "I apologize" whenever a customer comes to complain.

Cheap goods and cheap people have made Wal-mart prosperous.

barbie~~

Quote from: barbie on May 16, 2015, 04:52:27 PM
My experience tells that the average education level of Wal-mart employee is very low, and their salary is also very low. They are actually poor people. What can I expect from them?

Of course there are many nice employees there, but the chance is that you can face that kind of incident there in Wal-mart at any time.

Here in my country, those employees at such a big store chain get intensive education regarding customer care, and always are ready to first say like "I apologize" whenever a customer comes to complain.

Cheap goods and cheap people have made Wal-mart prosperous.

barbie~~

When my mom worked at walmart she got $12 an hour. She also has a nursing degree. The associates aren't all rocket scientists but a lot of them are educated and the wages are about right for big box retail stores.

I get picked at a lot but I think its funny actually. I'm 18 now and a senior. Many people in my class make fun of me, or try to make fun of me. I think its funny because we are 18 now and technically, by most laws, adults. Yet you revert back to name-calling, finger pointing, and noise making? I chuckle, shake me head, and think "Immaturity at its best. Great job bhs!" (hey that rhymes!)

So yeah, its sad but funny to me. Grown adults especially are both fun AND sad. Grown and making fun of a teenager? Yeah, that's the positive image you should be giving the little ones. Smart...

Quote from: rachel89 on May 15, 2015, 11:04:25 PM
I actually purchased my first women's clothing items from Wal-Mart. I was really self-conscious at the time and think I got stares from customers, but no problems with employees. my best experiences were at H&M, where one of the employees is really helpful (and finds trans people fascinating, but not in a creepy way) while my worst was at Goodwill, where another customer said he would beat the sh*t out of me if no one was watching.

That is just plain awful and I'm really sorry that you had to suffer an experience like that.

I buy all my clothing at church goodwill and thrift shops because of my vows and I've never had anybody say anything to me or pass an off comment.  Having worked for the adult mental health service as a social worker I know very well that folk with mental illness and refugees from other countries get threatened and mishandled by violent bigoted people too.  I cannot even begin to understand why anyone would want to do such hateful things.

As far  as the Goodwill experience, everyone else in the store was fine, I was just unlucky enough to encounter a raging trans-phobe. I'm guessing that guy has some major anger issues and possibly a rap sheet too (or maybe he's a closet case or something). It wasn't really Goodwill's fault. sometimes my fear of violent transphobia gets blown way out of proportion, but its not just a figment of my imagination either. I would still go back to goodwill though.