The ways I am treated different:
- Gentlemen open the door for me
- I am getting a little of the sexist issues from male coworkers (I'm a girl, what do I know)
- So many are nicer to me than before my transition
- I've had a couple guys flirt with me 

The ways I am treated worse:
- 2 siblings really don't want anything to do with me, but they treated me like ->-bleeped-<- long before transition anyway
- Guys that have known me for years no longer look at my eyes when talking to me.  I don't have a lot of cleavage, but it's enough to distract them
- A very small handful of people want to ensure they remind me that I haven't always been Tiffanie.

Quote from: Jake25 on June 05, 2015, 08:17:41 AM
I'm sorry to hear that. These are some of the reasons I wanted to be male. Transmen will probably understand and listen to you more because they remember being women.

Let me be clear, I am speaking only for myself here.

I was never a woman, nor remember being a woman. I was a badly misunderstood man/boy with physical features of a woman. Women/girls have always confused me and they still do.

That alone is why I find it hard to really answer your question. Some things have changed in intensity, but not so much in general. The only thing that has changed in general is the outright denial of my right to work as a human being. I was literally turned down for a job because of being misgendered as female. I fumed privately and deeply over that one as it was one of the times when my dysphoria got to the point of pushing me to end it all. I got hired over the phone, but when I showed up for work, got sent away.

After transition
Dont have to pay for busses anymore if the driver
Is a man lol
Woman they talk now face to face inches apart
Men they cant stand what i write in emails
In person they never listen to what i say but instead
Hit on me and think its cute when i get upset
Men think that we have a secret fraternity
Men generally not always act like they know better
And the biggest realiZation

Men pretend to be so smart abiut everything but they
Cant figure out how to take my lingerie off

Quote from: LordKAT on June 07, 2015, 01:42:47 AM

Quote from: Jake25 on June 05, 2015, 08:17:41 AM
I'm sorry to hear that. These are some of the reasons I wanted to be male. Transmen will probably understand and listen to you more because they remember being women.

Let me be clear, I am speaking only for myself here.

I was never a woman, nor remember being a woman. I was a badly misunderstood man/boy with physical features of a woman. Women/girls have always confused me and they still do.

I think this is a concept that cisgender people struggle with but trans*people should not, no matter their personal experience.


I recall doing a live interview with ABC Radio National (Aus) and the interviewer asking me 'when did you decide to be a woman'. I decided not to explode but made the comment "I was born female, my gender was mistakenly assigned as male because of my genitals at birth."

It threw him into a 20 second pause on live radio, a rare occurrence, which was followed by an apology before continuing the interview.

I've experienced a lot of the privilege that other men have commented on already, but one of the things that was only briefly touched on by Tysilio, I believe, was the camaraderie that men seem to obtain just from being a man. Not only around friends I've known, but in complete strangers, who nod curtly, as if acknowledging that we're equals, or something. Bros that never were, perhaps? Haha. In any case, it's fairly interesting, seeing how going from female to male has given me a sort of 'club' that I'm always in, whether I'm aware of it or not.

Also, not to sidetrack too much, but has anyone noticed themselves acting toward/treating society differently since transition? For example, I've become much more aware of how I look at women in public, as though I'm afraid of looking at them in a way that might be taken as a threat, peep, or otherwise unsavoury fashion. I have no interest in them, sexual preference-wise, but I still find myself extremely aware of how I make even the slightest glance toward them. 

Quote from: Jake25 on June 06, 2015, 07:17:32 PM
I've been in love with men's facial hair all my life. I had an uncle that I used to go kiss his mustache and feel it and he let me( I was just a little kid). I've complimented a few men on their beards and later I realized how forward that sounds for a woman to go up to a man and tell him how much she admires his facial hair...Later I realized I envied their beards and goatees. So hopefully after I start T I will be able to grown one. I've heard it takes awhile. I haven't even started  the T yet. A lot of things in my life now are in transition so I can't attend to it right away.

Oh LOL Jake25 - you seem like a man after my won heart. At risk of shocking everyone let me fess up to the fact that the beard is the one part of maleness that I miss... So we've kind of swapped places on this. I was very happy to be rid of the awful uncomfortable and ugly dangly bits, though of course I wish the replacement had been able to bleed properly and be fertile, but the beard I miss.

Sadly I didnt fancy the social tensions that would have gone with being openly non-binary so the beard had to go, but i've gone from a beard wearer to a beard admirer.

Quote from: Tysilio on June 06, 2015, 10:35:18 PM
Oh there are lots of women who enjoy their lives, even some straight ones. I come from a lesbian background, so most of my friends are lesbians who thoroughly enjoy theirs and just don't think about men much, but I've always needed at least a couple of guy friends in my life.

<snip>
Yes. Yes he does, and he was great about it -- better than a few of my lesbian friends, in fact.  His response was basically "Oh, OK, cool -- that makes a lot of sense," and then we mostly went back to talking about mutual interests and other stuff in our lives. The funniest part was when I said something to him about starting to go bald, and he laughed, said "You have a LONG way to go!" and took his hat off to show his very shiny bare scalp. I realized that in the 10 or so years I've known him, I'd never seen him without a ball cap . . .

I wasn't saying I believed in looking down on women after the change. I just know that there's nothing worse that someone could do to me than expect me to act like a traditional woman. I realize most others aren't that way. They love their lives. I just feel very differently about lifestyle than they do.

Quote from: Cindy on June 07, 2015, 02:07:49 AM
Let me be clear, I am speaking only for myself here.

I was never a woman, nor remember being a woman. I was a badly misunderstood man/boy with physical features of a woman. Women/girls have always confused me and they still do.





I think this is a concept that cisgender people struggle with but trans*people should not, no matter their personal experience.


I recall doing a live interview with ABC Radio National (Aus) and the interviewer asking me 'when did you decide to be a woman'. I decided not to explode but made the comment "I was born female, my gender was mistakenly assigned as male because of my genitals at birth."

It threw him into a 20 second pause on live radio, a rare occurrence, which was followed by an apology before continuing the interview.

Are you saying there should be no double standard?

Quote from: AndrewB on June 07, 2015, 02:09:03 AM
I've experienced a lot of the privilege that other men have commented on already, but one of the things that was only briefly touched on by Tysilio, I believe, was the camaraderie that men seem to obtain just from being a man. Not only around friends I've known, but in complete strangers, who nod curtly, as if acknowledging that we're equals, or something. Bros that never were, perhaps? Haha. In any case, it's fairly interesting, seeing how going from female to male has given me a sort of 'club' that I'm always in, whether I'm aware of it or not.

Also, not to sidetrack too much, but has anyone noticed themselves acting toward/treating society differently since transition? For example, I've become much more aware of how I look at women in public, as though I'm afraid of looking at them in a way that might be taken as a threat, peep, or otherwise unsavoury fashion. I have no interest in them, sexual preference-wise, but I still find myself extremely aware of how I make even the slightest glance toward them.

The comraderie is something I've wanted all my life to be seen as a man, and treated like one.

Quote from: Rejennyrated on June 07, 2015, 02:19:18 AM
Oh LOL Jake25 - you seem like a man after my won heart. At risk of shocking everyone let me fess up to the fact that the beard is the one part of maleness that I miss... So we've kind of swapped places on this. I was very happy to be rid of the awful uncomfortable and ugly dangly bits, though of course I wish the replacement had been able to bleed properly and be fertile, but the beard I miss.

Sadly I didnt fancy the social tensions that would have gone with being openly non-binary so the beard had to go, but i've gone from a beard wearer to a beard admirer.

That's fascinating, isn't it?

Quote from: Mariah2014 on June 07, 2015, 01:43:08 PM
Why should there be a double standard? In my opinion their shouldn't be a double standard. I can't speak for Cindy, but I can speak for myself. I can tell you for me I don't want to be treated differently than any other woman. Just because I'm trans and was born with a birth defect that made them assign me as male doesn't mean I wanted to be subjected to some double standard because of it. Hugs
Mariah

I thought she was talking about a double standard between males and females, I wasn't thinking about the trans part.

Quote from: Mariah2014 on June 07, 2015, 02:06:22 PM
Interesting. As I said I can't speak for her, but on this front as much we know often we do use a double standard I still think there shouldn't be one in relation to male vs female either. That double standard has probably caused most of us issues because we couldn't do things that we felt we should be able to do that match our gender identity. Hugs
Mariah

Well there are definitely 2 well defined genders that are different, and then some in between.

Quote from: Jake25 on June 07, 2015, 01:33:46 PM
Are you saying there should be no double standard?

The point is that trans men were never women, and trans women were never men. Nothing about a double standard.

Quote from: LordKAT on June 07, 2015, 04:02:21 PM
The point is that trans men were never women, and trans women were never men. Nothing about a double standard.

What I meant is I went through a time where I was in denial about having a gender identity disorder, and tried to conform to what other people wanted me to be. They saw me as an attractive alpha female physically and while I was a kid and a teenager I played up to that without thinking. Part of the time I felt like I was living a double life even as a child and that I wasn't who they wanted me to be, but never came fully out to myself until I was in my twenties and it was a series of realizations.

Quote from: Rejennyrated on June 07, 2015, 02:19:18 AM
but the beard I miss.

Jenny, I certainly don't miss the beard, hubby has to shave daily, if he misses a day, then he gets that stubble, very rough and feels like sandpaper lol
After years & years on estrogen, skin care moisturisers, foundations and face powder etc my face is now super soft skin.

Quote from: Rejennyrated on June 07, 2015, 02:19:18 AM
but i've gone from a beard wearer to a beard admirer.

Definitely, I like a beard on a hunk of a guy, but not on me, count  a beard admirer, not a wearer yuck!

I don't think people treat me differently after SRS. My fam has always been aware of my issue and were surprisingly supportive--they def had times where we'd have major conflict--but they allowed me to be me. I knew that going stealth would mean getting rid of everybody from before, no matter how much of a girl I was prior to SRS...and I was ok and prepared to make that sacrifice. I find now, years later, I'm more wanting to be open about my being transgender, if it's necessary or I think the person would be 'safe'. There are people from highschool I'd like to reconnect with now, and I know some have become aware of my transition even before graduation and are cool with it.

I think after all these years and going through all kinds of feelings and hiding myself and all that nonsense, I finally realized that it doesn't matter whether you're transgender or cis or whatever...if you're comfortable in your own skin, people can sense that and treat you properly. No one will ever ever 'pass' perfectly ever...but how you react to it is what's important. If you are firmly, deeply and profoundly enmeshed in your appropriate gender--regardless of how physically 'perfect' you may or may not be--as long as you are happy with you, being read is much less likely and even less likely to have an impact on your mental well being. I think that saying 'fake it til you make it' is very true because I found personally, I was never totally and completely at ease around people until I came to the point of self-acceptance where I said I don't care *what* people say or think about me--I know I'm a good person, I've dealt wtih alot of pain and suffering, but i survived and didn't become a drug addict or murderess or anything--I just kept being me and kept on trying. So what I'm trying to get at in my rambling way, is if you believe you are the absolute best you that you can be, people are much more prone to be on your side and not 'pick you apart' for any faults or whatever.
So many times we as people get obsessed with sizes and numbers and measurements and feel  bad because we aren't 'perfect'...a perfect size 7 shoe or 5foot5 or a forehead that isn't exactly the 'right' number of centimeters...All that stuff is totally pointless to obsess over because people come in all kinds of varieties so there really isn't a 'right' number of anything. Once you really truly believe and get that, the world opens up to you...and you can go on with life not giving a rats pajamas what anyone thinks. So for me, the less I've learned to care about what people think or how I 'measure up', the happier I am and the better people are with me in general.

Hello everyone, since this question is posted in the 'post-op life' section of the forum I assume it means after SRS.

Despite being only 4 weeks post-op I have already interacted with hundreds of people while on assignment in the field.  (Unfortunately I returned back to work 3 weeks after surgery...not recommended!)

Yes, people do treat ME much different!  Prior to SRS just about every person I talked with about my transition asked if and when I planned to undergo a sex change operation.  (I don't live in a bubble and assume people just feel comfortable talking with me.)  Both men and women would often ask.  It really took a toll on my confidence level.  As a result I treated myself different and decided to limit interaction with the public until after SRS.

My confidence 'I am a woman' materialized (returned) immediately after surgery.  Where before I communicated with insecurity, now people can sense 'I am the real deal'.  While mostly viewed as female, I am now much more understanding of getting 'sired' or he'd, making the correction with a smile and absolute assurance.

For me SRS was gift, a life enabling blessing that (thus far) exceeded my highest expectation.  People now treat me different because I view myself correctly!  Thankfully they can see that too.

Quote from: januarysunshine on June 20, 2015, 09:47:51 PM
I don't think people treat me differently after SRS. My fam has always been aware of my issue and were surprisingly supportive--they def had times where we'd have major conflict--but they allowed me to be me. I knew that going stealth would mean getting rid of everybody from before, no matter how much of a girl I was prior to SRS...and I was ok and prepared to make that sacrifice. I find now, years later, I'm more wanting to be open about my being transgender, if it's necessary or I think the person would be 'safe'. There are people from highschool I'd like to reconnect with now, and I know some have become aware of my transition even before graduation and are cool with it.

I think after all these years and going through all kinds of feelings and hiding myself and all that nonsense, I finally realized that it doesn't matter whether you're transgender or cis or whatever...if you're comfortable in your own skin, people can sense that and treat you properly. No one will ever ever 'pass' perfectly ever...but how you react to it is what's important. If you are firmly, deeply and profoundly enmeshed in your appropriate gender--regardless of how physically 'perfect' you may or may not be--as long as you are happy with you, being read is much less likely and even less likely to have an impact on your mental well being. I think that saying 'fake it til you make it' is very true because I found personally, I was never totally and completely at ease around people until I came to the point of self-acceptance where I said I don't care *what* people say or think about me--I know I'm a good person, I've dealt wtih alot of pain and suffering, but i survived and didn't become a drug addict or murderess or anything--I just kept being me and kept on trying. So what I'm trying to get at in my rambling way, is if you believe you are the absolute best you that you can be, people are much more prone to be on your side and not 'pick you apart' for any faults or whatever.
So many times we as people get obsessed with sizes and numbers and measurements and feel  bad because we aren't 'perfect'...a perfect size 7 shoe or 5foot5 or a forehead that isn't exactly the 'right' number of centimeters...All that stuff is totally pointless to obsess over because people come in all kinds of varieties so there really isn't a 'right' number of anything. Once you really truly believe and get that, the world opens up to you...and you can go on with life not giving a rats pajamas what anyone thinks. So for me, the less I've learned to care about what people think or how I 'measure up', the happier I am and the better people are with me in general.

I'm talking about the way a stranger may treat you, not really your close loved ones. I agree with you on feeling comfortable in your own skin would give you more confident therefore you would be perceived as more confident and people may treat you better.

I'm only just learning to be one of the girls. It's so different but very natural for me. Sometimes I don't feel like I got in or these new friends secretly know. At the end of the day is pretty cool and exciting to be just another girl

Sent from my HTC6525LVW using Tapatalk

just my 2,5 cents worth. I'm pre-op with much internal debate on if and when because of my age, but I also need to affirm that I have (never)^infinity been male.