Hello, my name is carmen. i am a 23 year old transgirl. i first realized this at a very young age but could never put the words to it, just always wondered why i was one way instead of the other. then when i was in middle school i learned the words to put to it but was still afraid until high school where i told virtually no one, and when i was 18 i tried to apply my status, at least from a mental standpoint, with a less then welcome reception. so, 5 years later, i am still living a lie and wishing in secret but am tired of waiting because i ultimately dont know what im waiting for.. i  guess i just need that nudge, that indication that this is ok, that there isnt something wrong with me and that there is hope.
     Humbly here in need of support, Carmen Carziela

Big warm welcome to Susan's Carmen

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I hid my issues all my life, and now moving into the secrets are over stages... I somehow managed to survive the internal pain and emotions... but all the drivers are in gear now...

I think, are you seeing a gender therapist yet? that maybe you may be hesitant, trying to work out whether you really are ready... Certainly it has its benefits but is also hard yards... but having said that, starting young is far better than late in life like me.... so I would understand the strength of your needs, consider your financial and career situation and then set a plan into place.

I really look forward to seeing you around the forum's and wish you well on your journey

L Katy 

Hi Carmen, welcome to Susan's. Despite all the issues that surround my body in the first place I did a good job of trying to cover it up. Even after a failed transition attempt I tried my best to act like I could let things go as they were and continue living what I knew was a lie. A friend of mine tried to give me that nudge that I needed and the seeds she laid by mentioning it did get things slowly going forward, but what ultimately forced me to face it was her death. Often it takes things out of our power to get that nudge. Only you will know when it's the right time to move forward. a therapist may be able to help you sort through this and gradually help you along the way too. Give you that nudge your looking for. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs.
Mariah

Hi Carman 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M