Quote from: jamiej on November 30, 2015, 05:03:36 AM
Hello,
I am wondering for all of you that have read my post, how many of your changed sexuality during/after Transition, or at least had enough curiosity to try?
I appreciate anyone's reply.
Thanks

I honestly don't know. It seems as though I'm not wired for sexuality. I certainly have the capacity to love someone. But sexual activity is not something I think about. I've had someone suggest that I might be pansexual, but I seriously don't know. I'm thinking that asexual is more appropriate for me.

Cindi

Hi all,
Thanks for all the replies, it's much appreciated. My partner had a very confusing conversation with me in regards to him having thoughts about being with a man after transition if that happens. But we have sorted that out now.
We have had the baby talk and the result was a NO for the timeframe we had originally agreed on. This has a massive effect on my motherhood potential.
I wanted to thank you all for the wonderful support you have all given me over the last few weeks it has been greatly appreciated. You're all wonderful people who should be proud of yourselves for being who you truly needed to be.  I hope things go as smoothly as possible for you all in the future:)
Marie (which is my real name:
 


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Quote from: jamiej on December 01, 2015, 12:59:07 PM
Hi all,
Thanks for all the replies, it's much appreciated. My partner had a very confusing conversation with me in regards to him having thoughts about being with a man after transition if that happens. But we have sorted that out now.
We have had the baby talk and the result was a NO for the timeframe we had originally agreed on. This has a massive effect on my motherhood potential.
I wanted to thank you all for the wonderful support you have all given me over the last few weeks it has been greatly appreciated. You're all wonderful people who should be proud of yourselves for being who you truly needed to be.  I hope things go as smoothly as possible for you all in the future:)
Marie (which is my real name).
 


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Hi all,
Thanks for being so amazing. Unfortunately my situation didn't work out, no future or baby and my partner (now ex)  wanted to discuss open relationships with other men and woman. Pretty devastating after being with him for nearly 3 years and being open to him/her transitioning. I feel ripped apart when I was willing to give him or her everything.... Quite hard as I had a deep love that went past him turning into a her! I'm not open to being in an open relationship! I hope she/he gets happiness from their journey but I won't be a part of it. I honestly didn't foresee  this happening, to us. I truly thought if I stood by him:her, I would be enough but I wasn't and I don't think I have ever been this hurt:( I envy the MTF on this site that stand by their partner when they transition, faithfully if their partner does to, That would of been my dream. I hope I to can somehow get through this:(

You're all great caring people:) take care and have a great festive season. Marie xo


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Quote from: mickey.megan on December 09, 2015, 07:29:48 AM
im so sorry for you relationship loss. i think at this point you have to do what is best for you. you tried your best and so you have that knowledge. life goes on and you will find a happy way forward i am sure. *hugs to you*

Thank you I will get through it, right now I feel like I won't.... But in time I guess I will.


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Sorry too hear of your breakup, it breaks my heart hearing of couples breaking up because one partner is transgender. What helped me and my wife was boundaries, the main boundary for us is no hrt or gcs which I had no problem agreeing on, I'm allowed too crossdress which I can live with. After 27 yrs together we have found what works and what doesn't. I hope you the best and not all tgs are jerks remember that.

Thanks Cheryl, you were one of the first people to speak to me on here:) I'm devastated, I could of supported him:her and I did, but I feel like I have been hurt to the core of my heart with the recent events that have transpired. I know you are all good people.....  I just hope I can get through this, I feel like I'm gripping at anything right now to get me through the next second and right now that's thinking of a way I can get to sleep so I can wake up later today feeling slightly better. I'm struggling I wish there was an erase pill for the last nearly three years of my life. I have never been this hurt.



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Quote from: jamiej on December 09, 2015, 12:11:56 PM
Thanks Cheryl, you were one of the first people to speak to me on here:) I'm devastated, I could of supported him:her and I did, but I feel like I have been hurt to the core of my heart with the recent events that have transpired. I know you are all good people.....  I just hope I can get through this, I feel like I'm gripping at anything right now to get me through the next second and right now that's thinking of a way I can get to sleep so I can wake up later today feeling slightly better. I'm struggling I wish there was an erase pill for the last nearly three years of my life. I have never been this hurt.



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*hugs*

keep on keeping on... things will get better eventually...

hugs

Thanks Laura. I'm still sitting here thinking about him:her rather then me. A good sleeping tablet will fix that for me for a few hours:)
I just wonder where the person I fell in love with went. When he:she told me about this, I struggled but came to terms with him being a woman, because I loved the person inside.... But I don't believe in sharing the person one loves at all sexually.
I hope all of this becomes a thing I forget:(


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I am very sorry this happened and I suspect him:her may understand what was lost as the result of this some day. The closest I have have had to a relationship with anybody in my life was a roommate. If I had somebody as caring in my life as you, I would have still needed to transition but I would have done everything I could to keep them in my life. People would do everything you did to try and hold this relationship together aren't as common as we like and I am currently posting with several people who wish they had somebody like you in their life instead of the person who is currently divorcing them. Take care of your self and you are welcome back anytime.

Thank you Dena, you are a wonderful lady


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Hey Marie, I am so sorry and sad for what you are going through. You are a super strong woman and I can only imagine the pain and hurt you are going through right now.  It takes an amazing person to be able to stand by someone no matter what and I am pretty sure not many people will really understand everything and all the emotions that you have been through in this short period of time. I wish you all the best for the future, you really deserve it, and I hope that you manage to find peace for your heart and life as you truly deserve happiness in your life.

Huge big great hugs Tuyrar xxx

Quote from: Tuyrar on December 09, 2015, 05:37:20 PM
Hey Marie, I am so sorry and sad for what you are going through. You are a super strong woman and I can only imagine the pain and hurt you are going through right now.  It takes an amazing person to be able to stand by someone no matter what and I am pretty sure not many people will really understand everything and all the emotions that you have been through in this short period of time. I wish you all the best for the future, you really deserve it, and I hope that you manage to find peace for your heart and life as you truly deserve happiness in your life.

Huge big great hugs Tuyrar xxx

Thanks Tuyrar:) I hope things work out well for your partner and you:) I'm sure they will. Have you started helping him/her (not sure which pronoun to use) with makeup and clothes. I found it allot of fun to do that with my ex, and I found it a part of how,  I managed to gain acceptance of him changing.... And me being ok with it. If you haven't and your partner is open to it, I suggest to give it a whirl.
I have allot to organise now, primarily starting with my living arrangements. I hope to find some friends to enjoy my Xmas day with... But right now I'm equally happy to just let that one day roll over me whilst I sleep.
This is truly the hardest time I have ever had. I'm so angry but we all know that's just a cover for my heart tearing apart and grieving the man that once only wanted me.
My inner self of I'm not good enough for him now is ripped apart.
But on a positive note the new year is around the corner:)


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Hey! I help them out with clothes and stuff, mainly because they need some style advice, haha.  I hope things work out for us, we are just taking each stage as it comes, or at least I am dealing with each new thing as it arises and hoping that I am strong enough to get through it.

You really need to understand that you are more than good enough, so few women stay with their partner through this crazy rollercoaster ride. If anyone sees you as not good enough then they are only seeing their own short-comings and insecurities.

I can only imagine your pain, and the devastation that comes from a situation like this. It is really hard to give up something that you have held onto and worked hard on for so long, I really understand that, but t doesn't make sense to hold onto something that isn't actually there.

Take this festive period to breath deep, spend time with friends or family and recharge your batteries. I am sure that you will pick up the pieces, rebuild your life and come back stronger than you ever were. xxx

Thanks Tuyrar:)
When I look at my entire thread, I can see how many times the goal post has been changed on me.
I personally am not happy that last night I got angry (after the open relationship discussion) and said some things to him:her that I don't mean. So for me to feel good, I'm going to apologise for anything I said last night. After that I have no need to discuss anything with him:her but finances.
I just cannot believe someone who used to love me and wanted me to stand by them would even think I would consider "open relationships". This has been very painful.
I am lucky I have a very good job and have been off work for two weeks nearly but am going back tomorrow to start moving my life into a direction of routine that I crave and need again.
A part of me wants to check he:she will be ok, but then another part tells me not to.
I care far to much...


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Hey Marie! You defiantly are a super caring person, but just now you need to care for, and put yourself first. I understand the feeling of wanting to get back into work and routine, but try not to put yourself down too much, this situation is not your fault, it is impossible to have a relationship with someone who is constantly moving the goalposts and who is not willing to make compromises. xxx

Thanks Tuyrar.
I'm feeling quite upset and slightly depressed.... Not sure why as I know I have to leave. I think more so for the amazing person I was once with....I'm not sure when this changed from not just a gender issue but a sexuality one to. I truly thought I could stay and be everything he:she needed....
I think it's because my dreams are shattered with him:her and the things he:her always told me feel so far from the truth now. Not a great entry into the festive season.
I'm feeling very raw.... Hopefully I will feel better soon:).
In a strange way I want to help him:her as I loved them for what was on the inside but I know I can't as I fear I will only get hurt.
I have been torturing myself all day and night, repeating those words he:her said to me about an open relationship and wondering how this could of happened to us:me:(

With being, as accepting as I was, I keep wondering what I could of done better to have been enough for him:her. This post thread shows me how much he:she changed on me in four weeks.... All whilst I was learning to accept loving a woman whole heartedly. It's quite soul destroying.
I'm obviously not coping to well:(

I need a memory erase pill! Xx


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FWIW, I have been reading this thread all along and posted in it once a while ago.  From what I can see you have done everything humanly possible for your partner and were repaid with a desire for an open relationship.  That is so wrong.  I may be old fashioned but no matter what else is going on marriage vows are sacrosanct. 

I hope you can soon find peace and happiness as you move beyond this.


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Quote from: Deborah on December 10, 2015, 06:30:04 AM
FWIW, I have been reading this thread all along and posted in it once a while ago.  From what I can see you have done everything humanly possible for your partner and were repaid with a desire for an open relationship.  That is so wrong.  I may be old fashioned but no matter what else is going on marriage vows are sacrosanct. 

I hope you can soon find peace and happiness as you move beyond this.


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Thanks Deborah:)
It means allot to me:) we weren't actually married as every time we got close to engagement "something" would come up as an excuse not to.

But we had our entire life's together all joint. I knew in my head he:she was all I ever needed in life, it's heartbreaking:(

I actually managed to sleep last night which is pretty surprising. But I woke up a few times feeling pretty empty and alone.

Only two weeks today till Xmas day.... My family are all travelling for Xmas and my parents live in the Gold Coast.

I thought about putting up my little Xmas tree this weekend just to give me some positive thoughts about the Christmas.

Hope you all have a happy day.
Marie X


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Hi JamieJ

I have been following along with your progress now and am sadden to hear that you and your partner have split up. I have been out of touch the last couple of days so missed when it happened. I have to say I am totally blown away by the result.

Women with your sense of compassion and love are very hard to come across so in my book when you do find someone who is as caring supportive and understanding as you have been then making them part of your life should be a priority. For you to not to go screaming into the night, never to be seen again, after being told your partner is trans also takes a special kind of person. You have some very admirable qualities unfortunately your partner in this case is not going to be able to accommodate you in their new lives I would see that as their huge loss.

You asked at one point what you could have done to better. I find that quite cruel and hard on you, you did an amazing job just trying to understand and you were from what I could see very supportive. I am so sorry it has not worked out for you. I understand you have some real pain at the moment and I am pretty sure I would be feeling the same way.

Just on the "open relationship" idea, this was one of my wife's fears that I would transition and run off with a man and leave her alone. First and foremost I made a vow to her for the rest of my life, I have no intention of breaking that whatever my sexual orientation ends up. I think I would have difficulty with an open arrangement as well.

My wife and I fell in love literally at first site, moved in together 3 weeks later and have been together for 30 years...there is love at first site and there is someone out there for such an amazing person as you.

Sarah T