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would you admit to being transif asked by a random person

Started by stephaniec, June 13, 2015, 11:11:46 PM

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0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

would you admit to being trans if a stranger just asked

no
16 (18%)
depends on circumstances
46 (51.7%)
depends on how long I've know them
4 (4.5%)
yes
23 (25.8%)

Total Members Voted: 77

brianna1016

I don't think random people will ask you anyway. ;-)
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herekitten

Knowing me, I would reply "OMG, why? are you transgender??" and convince them that they are. But, that's just me.
It is the lives we encounter that make life worth living. - Guy De Maupassant
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stephaniec

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JenAco

Depends on how they ask and wether it is threatening or not.  I'm still full time male so I seriously doubt I'd be asked the question anyways.   
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Wednesday

Quote from: herekitten on June 15, 2015, 12:57:20 PM
Knowing me, I would reply "OMG, why? are you transgender??" and convince them that they are. But, that's just me.

LULZ. I'm taking note.
"Witches were a bit like cats" - Terry Pratchett
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Lalauri

I'm not out yet, so depending on the situation, I would either refuse to answer or possibly take the opportunity to come out. It would depend who was asking though. A random person in the street is unlikely to ask me but given the amount of trans stuff I have been sharing lately (deliberately to put the idea in people's heads to make it easier when I do come out) I wouldn't put it past a friend. If that was the case, then I would tell them but ask them to do me the courtesy of keeping it to themself until I am ready to tell other people.

I'm pretty open with people about my mental health issues (depression and anxiety) and have taken the opportunity to advocate from time to time. So I would probably do the same with my gender. It's very liberating to not have to worry about being perceived in a certain way anymore, even at the moment.
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iKate

I think the difference boils down to how often you're read. If you're being read all the time then maybe you would be asked if you're trans. If like me you aren't then you won't. Nobody has asked me if I'm trans. My voice has gotten me the occasional "sir" but nobody has asked about trans status. Also I get ma'am and miss more often than not.

It might be liberating to disclose if you are worrying about being read but I'm past that now.
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Christine Eryn

I would not, especially from a random person. I don't enjoy being outed and just want to go about my business. There are times when I thought I clocked a transwoman and wanted to ask questions and get advice but decided against it. In public, I'm not the MTF poster child and just want to be treated as a woman. Friends and family that have questions and have to interact with me? Absolutely I will answer what I'm comfortable with. Other people? Get out of my face.
"There was a sculptor, and he found this stone, a special stone. He dragged it home and he worked on it for months, until he finally finished. When he was ready he showed it to his friends and they said he had created a great statue. And the sculptor said he hadn't created anything, the statue was always there, he just cleared away the small peices." Rambo III
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Destiny Marie

Hell yes I would tell them. I have spent enough of my life hiding from me and the rest of the world, I regret not allowing myself  to live and be who I truly am, and if they can not handle it then that is their issue, to deal with.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

"When you step out into the unknown, you will either be given a solid rock to stand on, or you will be taught to fly"  :angel:
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amber roskamp

I would completely ignore them. They don't need to be up in my ->-bleeped-<-. I would just walk away. I don't feel bad about being rude to people who ask deeply personal and invasive questions when I don't even know them.

I have been asked if I was a guy or a girl multiple times (in boy mode lol) and I just walked away without even answering their question.
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Zoetrope

Quote from: Destiny Marie on June 16, 2015, 01:14:10 PM
Hell yes I would tell them. I have spent enough of my life hiding from me and the rest of the world, I regret not allowing myself  to live and be who I truly am, and if they can not handle it then that is their issue, to deal with.

I feel exactly the same. I transitioned to liberate myself - I am done with secrets.
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EmmaLynn

I am pre everything do it would be a rarity, however a co worker jokingly asked a few people including me if we were. I ended up just storming off and calling him names under my breath.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G730A using Tapatalk

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Tessa James

Quote from: Zoetrope on June 16, 2015, 03:25:55 PM
I feel exactly the same. I transitioned to liberate myself - I am done with secrets.

So simple and so true Zoe!  Transition has been the ultimate in freedom and personal liberation for me.  Saying "YES!" clearly has felt the best.  I aspire to no concern about passing and have been asked that sort of question in different ways.  As many others have detailed, our response may depend on the situation.  There have been just a few times in some tight situations where education was not what the guys were looking for!  Discretion and valor are the stuff of poets but I have also felt the need to just say "none of your business."
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
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stephaniec

It is a incredibly personal thing to be asking someone, but also it is incredibly liberating to embrace  the identity within the bounds of safety. It makes you pause to wonder why someone would just come out and ask. I know I've been going into three different restaurants since beginning transition and I'm full time and have gone from presenting male to female within the eyes of the people that I know who work in these restaurants. No one seems to want to venture into the area of asking, even though I wouldn't mind and would talk about it if asked. I was speculating that someone you know like I do from going into where they work and have friendly chats would be a little more at ease to ask you when one day your  male  then you start appearing in dresses. It's kind of weird in a sense when your conversations are the same , but your talking to them wearing a dress when they known you for so long as a male. I just find it curious.
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Valwen

in the last few weeks I sorta accidentally came out to a cashier she asked if the cloths where for someones birthday, i said yes, she then complimented how well I had matched things, guys are usualy awful at that and so I told her it was my birthday. I also came out to the woman at the RMV because I was complaining about having to pay 50$ to renew my license and will have to come back in like a year for a name change and they saw my pink nails, long hair and asked if it was a Bruce Jenner thing and I admited it was something like that. I convinced myself I will never pass so it makes it easier to admit to things.

Serena
What is a Lie when it's at home? Anyone?
Is it the depressed little voice inside? Whispering in my ear? Telling me to give up?
Well I'm not giving up. Not for that part of me that hates myself. That part wants me to wither and die. not for you. Never for you.  --Loki: Agent of Asgard

Started HRT Febuary 21st 2015
First Time Out As Myself June 8th 2015
Full Time June 24th 2015
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stephaniec

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Swayallday

It's getting easier then before  :-*
Amazing how some people respond :-)
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Eevee

I'm pretty open about it. I'd just tell people in most cases. The only exception is if someone was being rude about it. Then I'd just tell them to go away in a colorful manner of phrasing.



Okay, I'd like to add to this after today's experience.

While I am absolutely fine with people politely asking if I am trans, it seems to really bother me if someone asks me if I am a guy or a girl. Being open about being trans is fine because it is important to me for people to be aware of the existence of trans people. If you confront me about what gender I am while I am absolutely presenting as female, then that is just plain insulting.

I just kept walking past that guy after he asked that today. I don't have time to answer those questions.

Eevee
#133

Because its genetic makeup is irregular, it quickly changes its form due to a variety of causes.



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