Quote from: MikeG500 on April 30, 2016, 10:03:32 AM

It feels like, no matter how much I accomplish, even if I had the greatest personality in the world, etc etc, it doesn't even matter because of the way I look. (No i'm not talking about ugly). Just look like a kid with my odd proportions. Even if, I could accept that I don't need others external validation, I don't think I could ever give myself any validation because I hate it.

There are other delicate people too.
You may be more able to do delicate work ... it can be a plus. The time of big and clumsy equipment is over ... now its usually small and delicate equipment.

Remember when you were are kid and everything was an adventure ? You could try to foster such an attitude, remaining younger for a long time ... for people with larger sizes everything seems normal and boring. It can be a fascinating viewpoint.

Try to find ways to love it.


hugs

Quote from: Laura_7 on April 30, 2016, 11:07:55 AM
There are other delicate people too.
You may be more able to do delicate work ... it can be a plus. The time of big and clumsy equipment is over ... now its usually small and delicate equipment.

Remember when you were are kid and everything was an adventure ? You could try to foster such an attitude, remaining younger for a long time ... for people with larger sizes everything seems normal and boring. It can be a fascinating viewpoint.

Try to find ways to love it.


hugs

I know you mean well, but I don't really want to think of myself as "delicate." Or see everything with a kidlike adventure mindset. Thanks for all the advice guys, I will just have to continue the journey.

Quote from: MikeG500 on May 03, 2016, 04:10:26 AM
I know you mean well, but I don't really want to think of myself as "delicate." Or see everything with a kidlike adventure mindset. Thanks for all the advice guys, I will just have to continue the journey.

It does not mean it has to work for everyone.

Basically you mighttry to change some attitudes, and find some positive aspects.


hugs

Quote from: MikeG500 on April 30, 2016, 10:03:32 AM

It's like, I get to a point where I feel like i'm okay, and focusing on a project, or travel, or just accomplishing my goals/doing exciting things, and then I just look at myself in the mirror or just see my arms/hands on the table or holding the rail on the bus. For some reason I have extra short arms and small hands, and combined it looks like a child. Really. I mean... I know this is what I just have to accept and not let other people validate for me, but I can't even validate it myself or accept it. It's just strange looking. And I always feel like people initially don't respect me, no matter how accomplished or confident I am, because of this. They might after they get to know me.. maybe.

Anyways, <not allowed>, i'm just mad that I was born with these genes. It's like I just want to look like a damn adult. Its that simple. I don't even look like a super short guy, I am a short guy, but I just have odd proportions that make certain parts of me look like a kid. It's just bad. And Blah, I was okay, but now i'm not. Sorry for this ramble.

I guess the good news is that most people will be looking at and caring about your hands less than you will. People seem to pay most attention to faces, voice, and overall cues for maleness. 

In my case I have a face that I jokingly compare to an anime character - cutesy eyes with long dark eyelashes, smaller nose, smaller mouth. It's not a very masculine look but I'm stuck with it.

QuoteWhy did you pick to study Cantonese? Mandarin is more useful and widely spoken. Just curious. Yeah Japanese characters come from a lot of the same Chinese characters. I would love to learn Japanese, but one language at a time for me haha.

Just for fun. I was already pretty versed in it from Hong Kong cinema, and some of my friends speak it. More people do speak Mandarin but I wasn't learning with a view to how useful it was.